Are You Being Served The Hero 7

good morning sir are you being served or I was just looking I'm looking for someone to serve our will in that case I'm free but it'll be tacky trousers or a new woolly Polly I bought these socks last week could have only been washed once and look there's supposed to be non shrink oh yes I see what the trouble is sir they're pure wool you see now very often pure wool socks are made from two different earths I mean you might get one who come from the shepherds the other darling now the shepherd knot won't shrink because they're standing in the rain all day so this must be the Cornish sock and that's the Shepherd one well what are you going to do about it as you'll get in touch with the Cornish farmer and get his sheep send up the Shepherd I want my money back yes mr. Humphries you free I'm free this gentleman wants his money back on account of the fact that his socks of shrunk in the wash maxie did you wash them yourselves hello did your wife wash it I live alone I see what did you wash them in in the bath I mean what did you use to wash them with the water you can go to coffee if you like mr. Lucas it's gonna take some time it's okay this case has my full attention was it hot water well of course it was ha ha ha well you see it should have been Luke it says so on the instructions Luke we that is too small what did it is sure I want my money back yes when our senior assistant mr. Goldberg will have to make that decision mr. Goldberg I'll free at the moment mr. Humphries yeah this customer of mr. Lucas has failed to follow the washing instructions on the sock and it's shrunk and he would like his mother back what is your decision mr. Bober hmm mr. Gilbert always makes these decisions we must give the customer his money back mr. hum truth sadly mr. Gilbert on one sock if you're not satisfied with the goods bring them back with the receipt and ask for your money back won't get it but you can ask what's this big news you had to tell me today is a very special day that was a special about today today's the day my [ __ ] comes of age since you first at it riah since I first had her Lucy in cat life one year counts a seven so that means she's 21 today oh he don't give her the key of the door never anyway she doesn't need it she's got a little flap do you want to see what I've got for her oh yeah well a leg of Southern Fried Chicken and a mink collar with a little bell is that real me oh of course I wouldn't give her imitation that's made of cat and a record of lena zavaroni oh is that her favorite no but it's the only way I can get her to go out when it's raining and something she's been looking forward to for ages a clockwork Mouse yes see again will where's captain big [ __ ] oh he's not here yet sweet Oh Oh where's it gone I can't see it well listen and we might be able to hear the clockwork oh it's like Peter Pan in the praça dime so anyway I stuffed a pineapple in the hole you see and I said give me a ring tomorrow and let me know if it stopped what there's a mouse round my jaw here it is a it's clockwork is this another of your jokes mr. Lucas not guilty Captain peacock I am in no mood for practical jokes now what did it release this mouse on the floor let's count to ten and if no one owns up we shall remain behind after the store closes until this matter is resolved one two three I'm not tellin ya you wouldn't do that yes I would I've got a date tonight sneak get your hand up No Sosuke am I to understand that you are the miscreant the world the person who released this object well yes I don't want any excuses I shall confiscate this if you wish to retrieve it you will find it in mr. Randall's office has been far too much laxity on the floor of late you're all getting very sloppy captain pika I've been over 40 years in various retail outlets and I've never been caught sloppy and egg stain on the tie what three waistcoat buttons undone afraid cuff I call that sloppy mr. Dover I've never heard a senior assistant spoken to like that in my life have I gotta extend on my time not a big one I have to have these three buttons and none of my waistcoat otherwise I can't breathe what about the frayed cuff roll mrs. Goldberg was going to turn it oh dear she has I've never known him go on like that I think there's something wrong with him perhaps he's had another round with mrs. peacock you know night last time we sue the custard all over him and made him sleepy the spare room for a week yeah well if I was married to mrs. peacock I'd sleep in the spare room all the time is definitely not well his nostrils are all drawn is that bad well our milkman sauce had drawn one morning it dropped dead in the chef's you're not suggesting that's girls welcome to Captain peacock are you let me put it this way if I delivered my milk I'd order an extra three planes I can reassure you it's not as serious as that tea how do you know what it is I just do I was told in the strictest confidence yesterday well you can tell us in the strictest confidence today look it's a very delicate matter mr. Goldberg anyone who knows me will tell you that I am NOT a gossip it'll go no further I could give my word he made you look very small over those frayed cups too and he was very unnecessary to mention @xt I'd forgotten about that well apparently he went down to see mr. Franco in the sports department he he wondered some jogging shorts you know how vein is well he would be satisfied until he tried three lots of shorts but then during the process mr. Franco noticed he had a boil a very large boil Thank You [ __ ] yourselves tell me I didn't notice a boy on his thumb honey's thumb what I think acting peacocks gone mad I mean just because I used a felt-tip pen on me bill Patterson of a biro he went all up when they go all raised and swell up their eyes pop out Apple optic well all I did was used the wrong finger to ring up the two and I got a no sale which finger did you use it's immaterial he saw that little red flag he came charging over to me he went mad for about five minutes I thought the veins in his neck were going to burst they were standing out like spaghetti junction mind you having a Boyle where he's got one well it must be painful I'm sure we all feel for him you speak for yourself this is justice he's been rotten to me ever since I came in and I've had to take it sitting down well now you've got your revenge cuz he can't take anything sitting hey keep your voices down we don't want this thing to spread look we knew this I told you in the strictest confidence now please people can be very sensitive about boils so I must ask if even for my own sake don't mention anything about it while is here I won't say a word I wouldn't be that cheeky when you go there let be governor cup of tea thing on your arm oh this yes yes it's a rubber ring the medical department have had a lot of complaints recently about the poor quality of rubber and I volunteered to test it for a few days wait you're gonna test it you want to treat it a bit rougher than that you know you want to that will come later I must say that any resemblance between that and tea is purely coincidental that's because they never bring the water to the boil seems to be a lot of humanity this morning II I suppose as usual actually the last one to know what caused it just because I'm reading the paper it doesn't mean that everybody has to has to stop talking I was a good amiable chat to hear there's a very good article in that paper about the the Great Train Robbery yes I was reading about it in the bus standing up this fall as usual it's my theory that most of the money finished up in South America yes yeah I doubt if they'll ever get to the bottom of it West but they willand no use trying to hide your sniggering miss runs you know don't you know like my name is fortune how did you find out somebody told me whose are you mrs. levy I'm not one to tell tea however since we're all sneaking today mr. Lucas I knew mr. Lucas again in this thing somewhere who told you wild horses wouldn't drag that information from my lips Captain peacock but I will points I'm surprised at you mr. Gerber I'm surprised at all of you here the two I had regarded you as my friend I well I'm sure I speak for everybody here that I'm very sorry to have caused you such distress what I want to know now mr. go vote is who told you my life is told in the strictest confidence and I can assure you it'll go no further your secret is safe with us on the third floor hello you become either all asking off you in the packing Department how's the boil on your body while I was delayed now then what's all this about peacock well sir this is a matter of some delicacy I'm suffering from a minor but painful in disposition oh do you mean the boil I heard about it a little yes sir I have a complaint yes very nasty one to it no sir I wish to complain I've been made a laughingstock throughout the store or into a grave breach of confidence by a member of another department to wit mr. Franco of sports it won't come to the point peacock it all occurred in the fitting room and everyone knows that the first rule of sales etiquette is that what one sees in the fitting room is in the strictest confidence that's very true while I was trying on a pair of jogging shorts mr. Franco became acquainted with my affliction and banded it about the storm yeah well obviously I thought you'd released the news yourself I mean it wouldn't be so bad if it was just us but when it gets down to the packing Department that's too much if you're most strongly mr. Franco should be reprimanded through official channels and should make a proper apology well I think you should write it out and put it up on the staff notice don't ask him to go there no that might be one or two people who haven't heard yet my first instinct was to go and punch him on the nose but because this whole affair brings grace brothers into disrepute I feel it proper to go through official channels I quite agree I shall phone mr. Frank out once things I mean I wouldn't have dreamt of passing it on had I known that the information was obtained in the fitting room yeah we never said anything about that big blonde that came in with a limerick tattooed on her what was that and they once was a couple of rockers went out with a bird with big ah mr. Franco rumbled here third floor I have Captain peacock here with me oh you heard it well he feels that you owe him an apology I don't think you should take that line he feels very strongly about it his first instinct was to come down punch you on the nose and he is quite capable of it in passing you might mention that I was the one to wait runner-up for the RAS see at Messimer true he was the welterweight champion of mersa Matruh I assure you he is not bluffing look he comes from background when a gentleman takes a person like you down to the gym puts on the gloves and gives you a damn good hiding I see he accepts the challenge well five rounds that's okay with us you go ten if you like right marry well then Saturday afternoon three o'clock it's flexing his muscles under marvelous I'm gonna ask him to sign this bill captain peacock are you free at the moment mr. circle would you sign this bill for me but it's blank you haven't sold anything I know I just wanted your autograph we'd like you to know that we in the ladies department are very proud of your we think what you're doing is marvelous me and miss Brahms are seeing you from quite a different angle and what we say is if a man can't stick up for his honor what can it stick up for Thank You mr. look at him he's basking in it well if I was in his position I'd like to think that I'd do the same thing I wouldn't but I'd like to think you know I used to get into a lot of scraps when I was a lad I was known as gruesome Goldberg the Golders Green gorillas oh you're doing all right Anya well they do seem to admire a man who sticks to his principles okay admire you and they're very sorry for you like they admired the Light Brigade only a handful got through but they admired hummin what are you trying to say word has it that mr. Franco is very Andy with his dukes and when he was in the Navy he boxed for his ship torpedo boat a aircraft carrier salmon don't come on the floor in your overalls during working hours in that case I won't tell you about his secret weapon there what secret weapon he's got a killer punch in bow fan may I use your phone mr. Goldberg I'd be most honored champ I'll get the number for your caring for your dog I'm mad about his aftershave I'm probably splashes it all over Eli mr. Griese the rather worrying thought astruc me I hadn't obtained mr. Grace's permission and he may of course not allow the fight to proceed it's going to take place on Saturday afternoon he won't know about it and we won't say anything no but as a matter of principle I feel I ought to tell him I can only see a bit of the pink from here see quite a lot from here you're not going to make me rush it no no take all the time in the world happy cook what's all this I hear about you having a punch-up on Saturday oh you've heard about it - well I thought it only right to consult you because I felt that you may wish to ban it Dan it I'm looking forward to it I've got a fiver on boy I hope I don't let you down sir and out on you on the other fella you did very well in the inter store finals knocked out every bite from Mothercare hey cook and I wake up come on Miss roms let's get a good ringside seat well we're in the office oh I don't know they'll be coming that works where's Captain peacock is he still in the fitting room hasn't arrived in the fitting room we haven't seen him since Friday night oh I'm sorry I'm late oh my hero I knew you wouldn't let us down Thank You mr. Slocum of course I wouldn't let you down normally what well as a precaution I I went to the doctor for a final checkup and before I knew what was happening he'd injected me with some antibiotics what difference does that make to my dismay the doctor pointed out that after taking antibiotics a 1 mustn't drink or Voxx my doctors never told me that that's in your case you learn and apply does this mean you can't fight peacock in a word I'm afraid sure but the honor of the whole departments at stake and I accepted the challenge all right then you go fight him well I can't fight see because if I wear glasses and check it off if I do that I can't see well I hope somebody's going to fight him I am giving up my afternoons bingo to see a lot of lily-livered fairies if I would willingly step into the breach if you think a man with one lung and a truss would be we've got a couple younger than you yeah but not in such good condition you're always talking big now's your chance to show how big you are I would were it not for the fact that my poor old mother for him the slightest excitement could prove fatal made me join this religious sect yes called cowards Anonymous very nearly right earlier the other night I went to the meeting and I rolled up my left trouser leg and holding a dead chicken in the outstretched hand I swore before the aisle armor that I would do no violence to any living thing animal vegetable or insect unfortunately I let this leave with a caterpillar on it now still doing penance what about you mr. humphreys look I never boxed in my life now wrestling now that's another matter I wouldn't have thought you were the wrestling sort I was known as hugger Humphrey and to pull me off people I was the catch-as-catch-can champion of the barley more Road mixed input well it's all down to miss Browns or mrs. Slocombe and my money's on the everyw wait wait doesn't Walter if I was a man I'd be in there you shouldn't shave your mustache off then should you would you just have to postpone the match until Captain peacock is better I I may be on antibiotics for life nice to see you mr. Franco but I'm afraid we have some bad news I think you're doing our bad news first due to the size of mr. Franco's hands the sports department can't get a pair of gloves to fit him ah chickening out hey I'm not chickening out I can beat you in my own hands would you be wrestling anything you like how about catch-as-catch-can that's my favorite unfortunately I'm only a boxer No I'm not crazy oh yes you are how many images the ladies fit on me take your trousers off oh never thought those words could cause such mixed emotion keep your hands off me I thought you weren't supposed to harm anything animal vegetable or in sick I didn't say anything about fairy cakes never seen anything like this since Emanuel - very nearly did a lesion on the right mr. Franco from sports equipment online you have Peter will post a board Humphries of jets ready-made this is the free rolled coldest to fools order submission to decide winner or the first of the two gentlemen to run away now I want no unnecessary gouging or kicking with the point of the total I've never seen anybody so keen any questions yes did you get that rhythm from haberdashery twinkle toes right don't you corners and come out fighting when I bring the ball now remember mr. Humphreys you are standing up for the honor of the whole department until you tell my legs that Ireland look haven't got much choice at you I need grudge against me of course not I'm sure under other circumstances we could get some quietly in that place all we got to do is make it look good I'm entirely in your hands yeah and your machine a fly Josh butter for a couple of weeks now first thing we got to do is worry around my shoulders and slam you onto the floor they call it a propeller am I going to do you're gonna do an agonizing yell oh I think I can manage that Oh was that good yeah I think you've done this game before not with so many people watching now I'm gonna show you a patio ghen nose oh if it looks absolutely ghastly isn't it time I got you into something no no they've gotta hate me first and then when you get your revenge they're gonna love you so here we go don't forget to you they're writing me now I'm not so keen on in my show remembered what that Brazilian elbowed yeah that'll be nice Hey hey you coming uh no I'm going in our own come on which just goes to show an equivalent of being a bonnet we'd better behave or to put it another way mr. Harmon when a man has a boil on his balmy better Bell top you

Channel: Kris

Views: 2,031,018

Keywords: Are, You, Being, Served, The, Hero, 5360p, 264, AAC

Id: jnBerAL60Qo

Length: 29min 27sec (1767 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 15 2012