Are You Being Served: German Week

good a Morgan mind hearing hey Oren have a load of kraut chiefess that's 100 hats with shaving brushes on the side you know captain Peter it's not for us to reason why mr. humphreys young mr. grace in his wisdom has seen fit to mount a sales campaign to push German goods when it's difficult enough to sell English goods without a lot of rubbish from the damn box daddy dude is not going to help us very much mr. Grainger we are in the common market after all you know I haven't sold one of these for 15 years that mr. Burrage is a dress stick for evening wear this is all the thing one one carriage to the Opera supposed to be quite handy to fight your way to the bar at you count poppycock be getting your hands off my schnitzel put that away mr. humphreys it's for display purposes only yeah listen to this you'll never guess what the German for cufflinks is what man Shenton cannot I don't expect I'll sell many with a name like that they re 12 pairs of never swimming trunks need a person Oh have you been to Germany mr. hunters yes I was there a few summers ago camping can be hard wearing these you know but you must never have them dry-cleaned my friend used to just rub is over with Roenick it is a funny name for a sweater mitt their hand and the washin that means wash my hand it's a good job you parlay the Deutsche Captain peacock I had to study during the war house thought house cough what's that meaning the way out mr. bash what suggest you take that one as we open in a few moments you're not to be in the common market I don't trust that a dinar limey went years ago I'm not surprised very shifty looking fella say look at this sex under hosen Watson here well they'll get carried away mrs. Slocombe on to hers and literally translated means under trousers I'm two trousers Jimmy knickers I'm not selling German sex knickers Zechs mrs. Slocombe is the word they use in Germany for six Oh what do they use for sex same as I use everywhere else all right I'm going no worry be Amish you Slocombe 12 Ross yeah I wonder what the German is for that busting halter Boston huh does it sound crude yes come on let's see what they look like no sure you could carry a lot of choline needs whatever size is it says here clean climb this runs have been small oh well built those German girls oh just imagine seven old Dame's are trying to knock this Lots out it'll be a disaster like that Russian cosmetic week it would've gone very well if you hadn't mixed up the hair like it with the underarm deodorant that was very embarrassing it was my wife got out of the bath gave a couple of squirts under the arm went and pulled a blind down and was stuck in front of the window frog well couldn't you have pulled the blind down I was too busy outside sitting up deck chairs and taking the money it's the mesh house for swine hunt pleases everyone stand by the bed brush guten morgen main hair view common suden graceful good envious and his German phrases you'll be clicking his heels in a minute good mark ah good morgen meine hair if he'll come in today ingress brothers are dispersing dodge is mr. environment vinta monsters vector here is thick so afraid you've gone a little beyond me there we've only just started our German week what were you looking for I am fine I coat looking Irish a bomb caught because it is cold very methodical the Germans Kurtz yes sir certainly that hair Granger Ralph Snell just like cold it's this gentleman wants a coat to keep out the cold oh yes the weather has been rather chilly hasn't it give it a go absolutely bitter now we have a range here made in Bavarian wool not Bavarian we are here for the buying of the heist feed but they don't make had it's tweed in Germany I am knowing this that is why we are here but I'm afraid that this week we are only selling German gold why are the British selling German goods are you not tell to be British oh yes we are very proud to be British aren't we mr. Humphrey bursting with Prime it's coming out all over the place with it oh yeah aren't you proud to be German of course yeah proud to be jamming with why won't you buy a German coke not a German hat with plenty my husband would not wear a hat like this that is for the tourists well you are a tourist they are for English tourists are you so stupid to think I will return to Germany from a holiday Lincoln wearing your stupid German head thank you for your posture silly bull-necked right German we got off to a good start in his head well we could hardly expect to sell to the Germans themselves I'm sure we shall have no difficulty at all in directing the British customers you know there's only two things I like about Germany Curt Jurgens and gorgonzola go consoler recent chairman oh well there's only one thing I like that no no I tell a lie I like Irving Berlin good Morgan mine and Canadians push - hello good morning madam are you being sir just having a look so see we've imported some very interesting German merchandise perhaps I can show you to the ladies can turn this Felicity I have more one of those for years would you really I don't agree with them I see hmm well I yeah I take it you agree with these I'll take care of this customer Thank You captain Pete cook now madam you're under no obligation of course but may I draw your attention to this rather nice line in Westphalian tights that have just come in we have them in two shades every not miss brass yes wastes and swabs way back from the look of it black and white and then we have these pigskin handbags from the Black Forest not to mention a line in plastic max from Hamburg oh yes the handbags are quite nice but not really what I'm looking for what is madam looking for the ladies turn left at the asphalt one would think was considerably been here since the crack of dawn this morning the management would have had more consideration and keep us sitting on our Jaxx's for their post more well I can't wait all 10 minutes because I'm having a bath tonight there's treats well I can't get the old boiler working having a bath with mrs. Granger I don't find that amusing come to think of it neither would I yeah this sort of thing just isn't fair on my she has too good at the furniture if I'm not there plumb oh my on switches itself on at seven o'clock well you're alright then Archelle oh no miss let him you see I put them in I usually give them five minutes on regular two and then it's just like when the rice cooking but Shirley and I are go to the pictures I haven't stage yes yet I wasn't gonna ask you that question till after we came out I don't know where you bother going out with him at all we resided that or take me mum's washing to the laundry yet I'm not going there again I've seen more of your mother's underwear than I am of yours leaving everybody I'll say it's very good if you all to stay don't buy the bitter I thought of course not y'all have the good of the firm at heart well let's get down to it sorry haven't you got a chair peacock get a chair Lucas I've got one here chairman I hope this isn't going to take long mr. ramble because it's very unfair or missus Slocum's this beef as I can Thank You mr. Liu it's always a pleasure mr. Rumbold has asked us to stay behind and report on the success of the first day of our German week yes well now how did you find it mr. Grainger a complete disaster I sold one pair of Strong's I see what exactly are Stroup's it's a damn silly name they use for socks that's not very good no I will have to pull our strobes on did you fare any better mrs. Slocombe no everything's still on there Clyde abou girls I'm not sure whether that's good or bad well what are they can't Angus encouraging to see you're getting a grasp of the lingo yes I even know the German for corsets excellent what is it course it's spelled with a k we're coming along with I thought we were here to push Goods not pick up Jerry worms whoever what is the departmental total I haven't somebody here ah 32 pounds 32 pence those were my strums that's all good heavens that's a disaster I told you it was well is that all mr. Romberg no no please sit down this is looking to work out where we went wrong it's the fault of who's ever stupid idea it was mr. Rumbold idea there's nothing wrong with the idea could be the way you're carrying it out I already noted during this meeting that the word Jerry has been used do I detect an anti German feeling yes some others have long memories you know I am forgotten being flown flat on me back on Clapham Common Bala and the German air force was responsible all the other time she was flat on her back the American air forces it was just a joke I was any joke very poor taste that's a sort of thing I have to put up with all day long you want to tell him off your reprimanded mr. Lucas and that's official I'm sorry mr. Rumbold I didn't realize it was gonna be taken quite as seriously as that now oh where are we in our conference mrs. Slocombe was remembering being flat on her back on class can we knock it off leave she remembers what she said just bring us back to the point oh please do now I feel there's a certain amount of resistance on the part of our customers two German goons I hit up with way the papers keep on about how hard the Germans work and how well they're doing their to get damn coffee in my opinion we did win you know time ago today we're supposed to be on the same side yes now let's examine this whole German operation step by step for goose step by goose step first is there anything wrong with our display well I think we've gone far too far I mean those signs for instance when a customer sees exit and entrance he knows where he is what those who is my money seized I'm part enough we pray we're trying to create an atmosphere hum dear lady customer of mine got a terrible shock she was caught short and walked straight through the door marked aren little directly to the door mock German I didn't have time she saw the word hurt and was off and I'm here to tell you lil that she won't make the same mistake again nothing wrong with the goods they're all first-class handpicked by myself with respect mr. rumbled and I think I'm unanimous in this you've laid your hands on some very coarse busting altars perhaps we need to make the German brand image er a happier jolly affair to counteract memories of the past and how we're going to do that now that's a little music and a wine bar with German serving wenches in traditional costume trust him to come up with that I like what I'm hearing I think we're on the right track yes we could turn the old apartment into white all seen and have captain Pete got dressed up as the student Prince yes I like what I'm hearing I think yes indeed I think mr. Rumbold ought to dress after something yes wasn't Frankenstein a journey I I wouldn't be able to take part cause in case I was summoned to a board meeting but I don't see why Captain peacock shouldn't participate I think of lots of reasons why I shouldn't participate somebody has to have authority on the floor and these clothes that I wear symbolize dat authority why don't you dress up as Hitler you know I'm sure we're absolutely on the right track I shall put all these ideas that I've had in front of young mr. Grayson and see what he thinks let me say here and now that I am NOT going to dress up as Hitler of course you're not captain peacock we shall just have to find something that gives you the appropriate air of authority mr. grace rumbles here Rambo yes sir we used to have a grub boat in charge of the third floor I am rumbled in charge of the third floor oh good I'm glad you're back with us it's about the German week sir oh yes sir how's it going well the figures are little better today sir 64 pence another pair of stumps yes well of course I realized there is room for improvement and I have put into force the proposals I put to the board meeting yesterday what were they to make the German brand image a happier jollier affair and to that end I've arranged for my staff to stay behind and do demonstrate the sort of thing I suggested what's that well perhaps you could come down and have a look well lad I hope you won't take long I always go to the club on Tuesday evening oh yes the bridge club no no no the strip club yes of course oh by the way I've arranged for my secretary to hand out the drinks at the wine bar oh well that's the one with me Maya nice legs yes dad as soon as I can I thought you would I brought you a glass of the German wine to try this around well hmm excellent how do you find the costume comfortable I think the blouse should be a bit lower oh yeah I doubted it don't don't don't lean over too much I'm sure the bodice could be a bit tighter you know do you think you could put your finger on the knot for me kings I think we'll just put it about there that's it could you push hard otherwise it'll all fall apart I seem to be caught later I I mean miss Thorpe wasn't tight enough and I was just helping her how is he so how do it again sir no I'll come back later sir I have one more go oh damn it well I know it's after hours ever touch if you've quite finished I'd like to have a word with you yes yeah they're gonna attend to your stand now what does it pick up pick up it yes sir during our discussion you didn't tell me the time my costume would give me the appropriate air of authority I'm getting a lot of air when you have my permission to wear a bigger brush in your hat thank you now a young mr. grace would be coming down soon to give us the go-ahead on the project mmm well the sooner the better mrs. Slocombe has spent the last 35 minutes in her fitting room sampling the German wild you better get back there yes sir quarter him hmm what's that strange creaking noise my trousers they're not running yet your load load load load load load oh hey counting why Matt my eyes are watering come on Rumplestiltskin there's no no I had warned knickerbockers since I was 11 you forgotten to put your shoes on my feet have been giving me hell after all that dancing when I'm putting my foot down the dancies out I can't see the beard dressed up like this is gonna have track customers oh it will nice you live in their own shop on the other hand that might attract some customers listen I don't know where to wear braces should they be like that or like that you've got a problem man well you're not supposed to be man you should know we haven't got the same problem why don't you leave them off altogether if I dig that me trousers had fall down that could be the gimmick we're looking for don't athlete a right fairy aren't you the lucky one you know I think this hats too tight it's making me feel quietly oh you can only see sound you look absolutely ridiculous hmm this is this why this very uh noxious you want to watch it creeps up on you Thank You sofa Tate now miss Brahms commit commit you want to wear your braces like I do it's more feminine yeah you haven't been at the line have you cuz u s-- waving about a lot control yourself well they prefer it in for upon we might as well Oliver yeah drink drink drink two eyes and a bright mangos the profit on the strum guess who number one have a look at you Oh magnificent he won't look quite authentic especially the ladies twiddle is knob somebody is out of focus I see what you mean I think I'd better go and wait at the lift young mr. grace yeah this is everyone you Captain peacock are you three well of course I'm three we're shut well I wish to tell you on behalf of my colleagues and myself is that you should not do this stops well in view of mrs. Slocum's condition I am inclined to agree with you I knew it was a waste of time rehearse in it whoa whoa whoa what the dance they don't want to do it somebody she'll do her self a mischief once that lot starts wobbling you'll never stop it he's coming places everybody she's here oh he can Germans in the lid excuse me ma'am peacock I wonder Beverly yes sir who are all these damn Germans in the lift the German band that you or did you play for the German does oh yes course it's a German band sir you agreed to it while you were having your nap at the meeting oh yeah then we thought we'd start by offering our customers a glass of wine would you like to try it oh how very kind it's nice to see you mr. gage good evening Sonny this my dear I'm work under mr. Rommel are you doing very well I'm sure I hope he likes it all I think I should tell you now is here that we're not doing the dance but you've got to do the dance the answer is no I've paid for the band it's more than my Jobs worth I'm sorry sir if I toppled peacock I'll drag you down with me and you'll get nowhere without a reference the manner behind me sir true well let me put it like this if you don't do the dance I shall stop the money for the band out of your wages well do the dance this is Slocum not all I only just remembered I've done the half of it already these happenings think of was it this is the general atmosphere that the customers will encounter and then from time to time to attract attention we shall break into a good-natured German folk dance but I don't suppose you wanna bother with that now well I might as well add my money's worth as well I told it is your money right places everybody now yes we pay attention German band ready ready when you are mate good go do it not dot look little boats to be gentle I was gentle I just went like that take not your well I did not go like that you're like great I open it to me yes well I say hard from that loss unfortunate incident what did you think of it well then I'd like to thank you all for making up my mind for me and grace brothers is coming out of the common box Oh Nami would you start to enjoy ourselves as well all together yeah

Channel: MrAgm65

Views: 822,251

Rating: 4.7473578 out of 5

Keywords: Are You Being Served

Id: cfPjMSLiBTg

Length: 29min 4sec (1744 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 11 2012

Reddit Comments

[u/Gerry1of1]

Classic tv, always enjoyable.....and I am unanimous in that