8 REASONS THE NARCISSIST WILL DUMP YOU by RC BLAKES

hey man this is RC Blake's and I have something I want to talk about today relative to the narcissist if you've been following me for a while you know that I've been studying this and I'm learning a lot and today I want to talk about what's really going on when the narcissist discards of you isn't it a trip when you've done everything for a person you've been everything to a person and at some point in their mind they make that mind up to get rid of you and you're left kind of in a spin cycle trying to figure out what's going on today when I get back oh hey welcome back I am so glad that you've tuned in today and I really pray that you would share this and invite others to come in and listen to this because I believe this is going to going to help a lot of people I'm finding people all over the country and even the world actually but I travel the country more than I do the world and I'm meeting people everywhere I go that are talking about how these messages and this focus is really hitting home with a lot of things that they're dealing with this explosion of narcissism is real and today I want to talk about you know what's really going on when the narcissist dumps you what's really going on when you have in many instances forsaken family friends you have you know you have expended your resources your energy your time your life and at some point this individual makes up his or her mind that they no longer want you and it leaves most people in a in a place of broken consciousness where you it's hard for you to locate who you are it's it's difficult for you to figure out what your worth and your value is anymore and for a lot of people that leaves them broken for a lifetime we talked a lot about leaving the narcissist before they can discard of of you and this should be done if it's at all possible once you discover that a person is a narcissist and hopefully you've discovered that in the dating process and you've not gone as far as to actually marry one of these individuals but sometimes it isn't possible to to actually discard or to leave them before they leave you quite often you know they create a reality around your life that ties your life up leaves you soul tied before you actually realize what's going on sometimes they'll intentionally tie you down with premature premarital pregnancy they'll intentionally tie your your financial resources up your financial world they'll you know tie your whole financial world up so that so as to make it difficult for you to leave them so sometimes it's it's not possible and discarded partners are often left devastated in many times you you left devastated financially as well as emotionally sometimes the the the great weight of the the emotional devastation is due to the fact that the narcissist has left you financially strapped so why do narcissists dump people who've been nothing but good why do narcissists dump people why do narcissists at some point in time sometimes get rid of eliminate people from their lives that have done nothing but good to them number one well this is not number one this is just introduction they were never engaged in a relationship you have to get you have to get clear with that in your mind they were never engaged in a relationship they were only involved in an exchange or transaction as one of my friends puts it while while you were completely and totally invested in what you thought was a relationship they were just acting and it was an exchange it was a transaction and you're probably not the first and probably won't be the last individual that they have done or will do this to so don't take it personally they are who they are and their capacity is limited to user and so they were never really engaged in a relationship they were only involved in an exchange the same way a customer has buyer's remorse it's like the customer wants this thing so badly and they dream about it and finally they get the money they go and buy it and they get it home and then two days later they look at it and they don't like it anymore just like customers are fickle in that way narcissists are quite often like this in terms of relationships they have buyer's remorse and and the discard of people when they've gotten what they wanted they've gotten what they wanted and now they they they can say I've conquered that I've obtained that and and I've used that and so now I'm done also narcissists enter into relationships with an ideal concept and when that relationship proves to be less than ideal they discard now mind you ideal for them is you simply maintaining a position that you can be used when you begin to slightly move out of that position of being easily used the relationship becomes or the situation becomes less than ideal for them because narcissists get bored very easily initially initially they are intoxicated by you know by the chase and the conquest of new supply as some might put it or a new partner and they're prone to narcissists are prone to magical thinking and idealization which means they often believe all of their problems can be solved by the right person and so when when you when the relationship gets to a place where you are no longer ideal or you're not solving all of their problems like a child that gets bored with a toy a narcissist gets bored with a relationship especially when it requires investment a narcissist gets bored with a relationship especially when it requires investment you should watch be leery of any individual that you're dating that somehow gets frustrated when it calls for them to make an investment in you they are fully engaged as long as you're investing in them as long as you're giving for them giving to them but when it's time for them to invest in you somehow they get frustrated and it becomes overwhelming for them you know that's a that's a bad sign that's a red flag okay so what's going on when the narcissist dumps me number one they have probably discerned that it is becoming more and more difficult to manipulate you they probably discerned that it was becoming increasingly more difficult to manipulate you you know when when in the relationship you begin to do things like question too much it disrupts the narcissists plans and so you know that's that's one of the ways I teach in the father-daughter talk and even in queen ology that a woman should test a man Queens ask questions that only Kings can answer and anybody any man that's less than a king is not comfortable with questions because questions reveal motives and so when you when you get to a place where you're asking too many questions they're they're discerning that you're becoming more and more difficult to manipulate and narcissists will not hang around too long with the person that they cannot manipulate also when you actually tell the narcissist no it creates what some professionals experts term as narcissistic injury when you actually are bold enough a woman enough to say no to the narcissist it actually creates an emotional injury that the narcissist finds it difficult to overcome and usually on the other side of you telling them no is their exit unless they need you for something in the interim but their plan is to get a get away from you as soon as possible because narcissists are not comfortable with people that they cannot manipulate when you begin to demonstrate stature or strength of any kind the narcissist finds or puts into action his or her exit strategy King David dealt with King Saul his mentor and so definitely demonstrated narcissistic tendencies and one day David was serving Saul as long as he was serving Saul things were fine but one day David you know he was a warrior David was coming back into the city and the people started singing Saul has killed his thousands but david has killed his tens of thousands the women were singing that and the narcissist in Seoul rose up because he saw David becoming stronger now mind you David had the humility of a servant as it pertains to Saul but in the mind of a narcissist you cannot have any strength or stature and for you to for you to become stronger means that I'm becoming weaker that's the way of narcissus thinks and so they will discard of you when they discover that your you know your your strength or your stature is somehow in their mind rivaling theirs when you're not a rival at all in 1st Samuel 1889 speaking of the same story the Bible says and Saul was very angry and the saying displeased him and he said they have ascribed unto David 10 thousands and to me they have ascribed but thousands and what can he have more but the kingdom and Saul I David from that day forward David was on his blacklist and he actually tried to kill David but the son the narcissist when they discard of you they have discerned in some way that you're becoming difficult to manipulate secondly number two the victim the narcissist discards when the victim has become unresponsive to their emotional promptings as long as as the narcissist can push your buttons and you keep reacting and responding and breaking down and and all of that kind of thing they'll keep playing the game but the moment the battery's run down and the buttons don't work anymore and you're just kind of unresponsive to to their promptings it it creates within the narcissist an injury that they cannot seemingly recover from because they feed on they thrive on should I say you're responding or reacting to their promptings they want to be the puppet master while you are the puppet when the narcissist is pressing your buttons and you're not responding or reacting it is a massive blow to their ego it's kind of like when Jesus was being tried and they were accusing him of all kinds of things that were false and the Bible says he said nothing he didn't respond he didn't react he said not a word he said not a word they called him King of the Jews and I think at some point Jesus said something like you know you've said it you know he was unresponsive he refused to feed into their narcissistic game by reacting to their promptings and whenever you become unresponsive to the emotional promptings of the narcissist they will find a way to get rid of you because you have to be reactionary for the narcissist to feel his diabolical sense of fulfillment number three the victim has a relentless support system that is a way of the narks agenda when a narcissist has gotten rid of you quite often you discover that you have a relentless support system sometimes a support system that you've even tried to run away but the narcissist discerns that you have people in your life that are not going anywhere and he knows that they know who he is or who she is and he realizes that he's he's up against too much to deal with you so because of your relentless support system your friends your parents your church your co-workers that just won't leave it alone the NARC will find him or herself exiting your life discarding of you and going on to find new narcissistic supply the Bible says in Ecclesiastes 4 9 and 10 to a better than one because they have a good reward for their labor for if they fall the one will lift up his fellow but woe to him that is alone when he falleth for yeth not another to help him up so - or better than one when they realize that they've not been able to successfully isolate you from your support system and your support system is not going anywhere they are left with no other recourse other than to discard a view and to move on to somebody else number 4 the narcissist dumps you with a plan that you will come crawling back which will create a deeper soul time sometimes the narcissist is playing as I wrote in my book the father-daughter talk he's playing the monkey bars he's acting like he's letting you go while he's yet holding on with the other hand and the whole purpose of acting like he's letting you go is to create an emotional crisis for you that oh I'm losing I'm losing him I'm losing her they're gone what am I going to do and then the plan is for you to come crawling back and every time they dump you and you crawl back they gain more and more psychological and emotional and spiritual power over you the sole tie is strengthened because every time you they dumped you and you return pleading for them to take you back your soul is being incarcerated never beg a person to stay in your life never big a person to stay in your life anybody that wants to exit your life on any level welcome the exit in fact like to sign up for them I don't care how much how painful it may be how much you may cry go through that that season of weeping rather than lose your whole life to fool that is just intentionally incarcerate in your soul proverbs 626 says for by means of a [ __ ] woman a man is brought to a piece of bread and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life there are people who are so diabolical they are actually hunting for your life and you don't realize it and one of the maneuvers the narcissist makes is to act like he's dumping you act like she's dumping you knowing that you're gonna come begging and crawling back and every time you crawl back you are you're sinking deeper and deeper and deeper into their control and they understand this number five the narcissist discerns that the victim is probably going to dump them they kind of look around any kind of discern that you frustrated you irritated you're not as tolerant and so they kind of realize that their head is probably on the chopping block so before you dump them they'll dump you and that's to leave a psychological wound within you you know why was I not good enough even though you were getting ready to get rid of them have you ever experienced that where you were getting ready to get rid of a person but they got rid of you right before you got rid of them and they left you puzzled and wondering and longing for them this also creates a soul time longing for them because you don't understand why they dumped you it left an emotional injury but what happens is when a narcissist discerns that the victim is probably getting ready to dump them what happens is they got the notion that you actually superior to them and now you know it you're actually superior to them and now you know it see the narcissus thrives on being beneath you but making you feel like he or she is above you once you could become conscious once you come into your consciousness of who you really are Wow they have to find a way to get rid of you because they don't know how to handle you now also they begin to sense your frustration with them they realize you are on to their act you know when you stop responding you go to looking and you're asking questions now they're realizing you're on today AK and they're looking at your frustration level getting greater and greater they're they're realizing that more than likely this person is getting ready to dump me so before they have a chance to do this to me I would do it to them and they'd dump you they dumped you because they discerned that you're probably getting ready to dump them and the Bible says in James 4 and 7 and I always liken the narcissus to to stew - Satan to Lucifer to the devil because I believe he's the original DS the original narcissist James 4:7 says submit yourselves therefore to God watch this resist the devil and he will flee resist the devil once you begin to demonstrate any resistance to the narcissistic spirit they flee once they feel like you putting up resistance and maybe you get ready to get rid of him they flee it they disappear overnight Wow ok number 6 obvious when the narcissist has discovered another victim that is deemed more suitable they found someone more gullible someone more pliable they can mold into what they want someone that may have a little more of what they desire and so they they dump you so as to entertain the new supply and this is usually a situation where they can't maintain both of you at the same time so they get rid of you for what they think is an easier source and possibly probably should I say a a source with more of what they want number seven when you have needs of your own what's going on when the narcissist dumps you when you have needs of your own that challenge the narcissist to support you for instance you've gotten sick and now you need to be cared for and you're wondering you know you've been there for this individual but now they disappear it's because they didn't sign up to meet your needs they didn't sign up to meet your needs they they only signed up to get their needs met through you or you've lost your job and now you need financial support and somehow they just kind of disappear and what does this do when you don't understand this this breaks your heart and it leaves you you know it leaves you with the spirit of bitterness it leaves your soul broken it leaves you feeling abandoned you really want abandon because you were never in a relationship you were just in an exchange you know you were just in an exchange it's kind of like when you go to the restaurant five minutes before they closed you can't feel like you know you you're being rejected because of the the waiters and waitresses are trying to get out of there it was never a relationship it was an exchange and so you know when you have needs of your own that challenged a narcissist to support you they will dump you that's why one of the ways I believe you should test relationships is to just create a need create a crisis early on and see how a person responds a response to that are they willing to step up to the plate and to help you or are they a person that is you know becomes frustrated when you have needs that impose upon you know their particular situation and then number eight and finally when what's going on when the narcissist dumps you I love this one God is protecting you you are not strong enough to walk away from this demonic situation on your own so God actually steps in and he protects you by making the mark leave you the rejection of man is quite often the protection of God one of the greatest things that may happen for a person is for certain people that you feel like you're in love with to leave you je Minetti God is protecting you number eight is God is protecting you and the Bible says in Luke 6 and 22 blessed are ye when men shall hate you and when they shall separate you from their company and shall reproach you and cast out your name as evil for the son of man's sake you are blessed when people get rid of you never I say again never beg people to stay in your life sometimes the rejection of man is the protection of God and you have to just say God let your will be done so this is what's going on when the narcissist is exiting your life when the narcissist is discarding of you dumping you this is what's going on and of course I'm sure that there's more that can be added I'm just I'm just learning I'm a preacher I'm not a therapist not a counselor just a preacher and I'm studying this and I'm learning so much about human relationships in psyche so I hope that you got something out of this let me pray for you before I close out today father thank you for every person that's viewing this and many dear God who are in this situation hearts are broken people have used them and walked out of their lives and God they've been puzzled God let something I said today resonate with them and let it dear God bring healing clarity and balance to their emotions into their to their souls in Jesus's name I pray amen hey if this is your kind of thing I need you to subscribe to this channel share this on your platforms if you will you know just like give me some thumbs up give me your comments and all of that kind of and stay glued stay glued we're going to be releasing my my first online program in a matter of days transcending the father wound when you've grown up without a father present and this is for adults this is not for kids this is for grown people when you've grown up without a father present in your life how do you transcend that reality to tap into everything that God has put within you in spite of that's what it's all about so sign up for my mailing list at RC Blake's calm and the moment it drops we will alert you by way of email all right thank you so much for tuning in on behalf of Lisa and myself as I always say to you you're on top and you're going higher God has more in store for you stop by Amazon pick up my books god bless you now I'll talk to you real soon right of the fact that I have not had a father in my developmental process I can still come to a place of victory in my personal development ultimately it is really not about who rejected you it is truly about who accepts you I had to provide for myself which is a met a father's job right I had to take care of my younger sibling which is what's my father's job absolute right you will discover that you will find within yourself the power to see yourself in the way that only you and God can see you

Channel: RC Blakes, Jr

Views: 219,379

Rating: 4.9411077 out of 5

Keywords: RC BLAKES, RC BLAKES JR, NARCISSIST, dating, dating advice, relationships, toxic relationships

Id: GJ4hs4R-bBo

Length: 27min 15sec (1635 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 11 2018