7 Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact

welcome to thriver TV the place to break free from narcissistic abuse with quantum tools and understandings and it was so interesting when I was setting up the set for today this little man was all over me he's been hanging back on thriver TV and he's like no I'm in on this one and I really think it's because he was nearly replaced with terrible Tiggy you know not impressed so so that that doesn't happen he's definitely back thank you everybody for you support with the last video I'm so proud of this community and how quantum we go and how we're really breaking into new trajectories and to new truths that we want to embrace and hold and live so it's just so beautiful to be a part of that with all of you today what I want to talk about is the seven ways the seven things that narcissus can do when we go no contact with them and it's really important because to get to the stage of no contact and believe that you can mean it and hold it is difficult enough it can be really excruciating but barely any of us were prepared for what might happen with a narcissist after going no contact and this video of mine is to help you understand the intricacies of what you might be in for how the narcissist does think and feel and what you can do to withstand all the twists and turns that could cause you to hand your power away rehook and get hurt again and so much of what is agonizing is wondering what they might do next and if we've not as yet turned inwards and made this time all about getting in contact with and healing our own inner traumas that are going to be heightened and which are going to come screaming up to the surface we're in for a really hard time so let's just look quickly at that because it's called aftershock it's when we're no longer in the fight we're no longer on the battlefield and it's when the trauma of yesterday last week months and even years ago will come screaming to the surface it comes up bites you fair and square on the butt and it's the peptide addiction of every cell in your being trying to get you to relook to the narcissist because that is the person who you've been getting the hugest rushes of emotions from and the hypothalamus in your brain has been manufacturing the chemicals the peptides that your entire being is hooked on which means that your mind will obsess about the narcissus constantly you feel like a heroin addict going cold turkey unless you break away stay away and heal from the peptide addiction and the way to do that is to self partner meet our trauma and release it and if we don't do that the addiction when doing no contact feels relentless you're going to be thinking what is he or she doing who is he or she with does he or she love me and miss me or not and it can literally drive us crazy and if we're all consumed with it we're likely to try to work out what they do what they're doing who they're with and we make it contact with people who know them to find out what they're up to or we may stalk them on social media or even do drive-bys past their home many of us have done these things before we realize that our healing path needs to be all about ourselves and not the narcissist so I want to cover off what the possibilities are of what the narcissus may do and the healing solutions to all of them so let's get started number one thing that could happen this is one of the things big things the narcissist may express that they'd already ended the relationship the narcissus ego is monstrous he or she may state to you or people that you know so it gets back to you that they've actually decided it was over then they may get in first with changing their facebook status deleting every photo of you off their social media and defriending you and the result is this could send you reeling and if you were going no contact because you wanted to teach the narcissist a lesson secretly hoping that they get it and come back to you or if you weren't really prepared to self partner and heal within you the traumas that could arise and especially if you're still suffering unmet traumas in your body to do with abandonment fears you may be triggered into going after the narcissus giving up even more pieces of yourself and falling back on the hook again even worse than before so the healing remedy to this is go within to soothe and heal back to wholeness the young unhealed terror of not feeling loved and being rejected and abandoned or whatever it is it could be the feelings of somebody not loving you enough to fight for you so a combination for those of you who are now is a combination of module one and module to work in the nap program effectively addresses this so the number two thing that a narcissus may do when you're going to contact is make contact with you about random things this is the narcissus testing the water because narcissus do not like to lose a narcissistic supply they like to think that people are still hooked and that they can and can't get over them and the narcissus could take back up with you at any time so it's a bit like crocodiles keeping lumps of meat under a rock for chew later on this is where you need to be strong because the narcissus may ask about things and then disappear make conversation or ask cryptic questions or make suggestions that are confusing all to get your head spinning or say something like somebody is at the door I've got to go so that you will think that they may have started seeing someone else and this is a prod by the narcissus to see whether you will be triggered what you're going to do and whether they can reel you back in so of course this is if you break no contact which you know this is what's going to happen if you do so the result is if you do break no contact and you do start engaging you could fall easily again into the unconsciousness of trying to get answers or sense or trying to find out whether they miss you or trying to confront them or trying to get them to take responsibility and getting you yourself into an insane circular conversation that's only going to feel more invalidating and confusing and of course traumatic and painful so the healing remedy is don't engage maintain no contact better still block all channels of contact and then keep shifting and purging all of the addiction to having contact with a narcissist or thinking about them because you're detoxing this toxic relationship you're detoxifying and that calls for lots of dedication to your inner being and your inner work and that's what the entire NAR program is that step by step process so number three the narcissus may appear to take full responsibility and be accountable and rectify all the things that you work on continually bringing to their attention that were unlivable for you or they may partially promise these things whatever they think is enough to get you to return to the relationship they may in this phase start seeing a counselor and even discuss with you their childhood wounds that are causing them to behave the way they do and it can sound really believable if the narcissist can't contact you they may use other people by proxy to deliver their message of redemption to you and this can be so hard to resist because you may go through the experience of feeling like finally this is it he who he or she has changed and the result is you make a pitch late and get back with the narcissist and then discover in a short amount of time that the ego defenses come flying back up again things go back to how they were and then are worse than before this is a cycle of violence intensifying because unless true in a work and reform is occurred for the narcissist which is nothing short of purging their traumas and deeply healing their subconscious programs the narcissus ego will reinstate and once it does we'll want to punish you for forcing the narcissist to be vulnerable and having to suck up to you the narcissus will want to turn it all back on you those of us who did go back found out the hard way things only got worse the healing remedy is keep fully connecting to your own healing and becoming your own source of love approval survival and security do the work are not feeling sorry or responsible for others and instead having a full responsibility for the serenity of your own soul that's module six work in NAP know this when you heal and empower yourself the people in your life who do have the resources will join you and those that don't won't because you're not a wounded match for them anymore healing from the soul fractures that narcissus have take years if it was ever possible create your own life and healing and connect with healthy others not damaged people who have never done and have no intention of doing the real inner work number five the narcissist may have a tragedy or an issue that he or she tries to get you back with through sympathy or guilt the narcissist knows you are a caring person with compassion and may try especially if this is your weakness to hook you back in with things such as I'm sick I'm not coping with losing you I've had an accident I lost somebody close to me I lost my job whatever it is and the result is this it can be very hard to resist going to the rescue of somebody we once loved to help them even after they treated us abysmally especially if we believe they may not have anybody else to help them and you may still have the unhealed pattern from childhood within you of if I take care of other people who are sick and broken they will have the resources to love me you may not have realized that you've been doing this with a narcissist unconsciously trying to heal someone's sick and broken so that they can in fact love you trying to right the wrongs this time from your painful childhood and the narcissist appealing to you for help and sympathy may spin you into overdrive subconsciously trying to achieve this and of course it doesn't work and for the narcissist this is all about them roping you in retaining narcissistic supply and getting an ego feed again there's nothing in this for you other than more trauma disappointment and abuse so the healing remedy is don't fall for it heal that part inside that feels triggered into being responsible for helping the narcissist and guilty if you don't know that you are responsible for yourself and your own health and boundaries first and foremost and that is your responsibility to the people you love and life itself know that the narcissus will find somebody else if necessary to help if this is real and regardless of whether it is or not stay away number six they may do terrible things to trigger you and get your attention and this is horrible when it happens this could include abuse by proxy smearing discrediting stealing from you damaging your property hurting those you love and trying to destroy your life in any way that they can this is a true pronged attack it's used as a method to punish you for not appeasing the false self enough and for the Warp belief of what you did to them which is usually the projection of what the narcissus actually did to you and it's also a way to get your attention and get you to hand over narcissistic supply this helps the narcissus feed their ego enough to know that they exist and that they still have power over you and the result of it is if you're a person in the relationship who fought back against terrible abuse and behavior yet stayed on in the relationship such as I was like that and many of us have been like that we were a wonderful source of a great supply plus we supplied the added bonus of being the dumpster that they could offload their wounds onto and into if he or she knows you react and fight back you're a target for this tactic the healing remedy is heal that part inside that tries to fix change and stop crazy abusive people so that you can be safe pull away detach and heal all that comes up and is triggered within you and instead attached to healthy resources and people and know that in - smearing and abuse by proxy the best course of action is to be authentic knowing that you are honest and a good person and walk that straight line and the truth will do the rest heal any triggers that come up within you and you'll discover that all the narcissus antics start to fall on deaf ears and have no power that's module eight work enough so number seven the last of the major things that a narcissus can do to you when you go no contact number seven is this move on and replace you with new supply this is very likely in any case often narcissus hedge their bets and if it looks like things could end with you and the ship is going down they usually have another one already waiting at the dock - a narcissist you are an object performing a role there is no one home to really genuinely love themselves let alone another and you are simply the being who offers up enough energy to take them away self medicate them from their own inner traumas if you're no longer available to do that job then someone else needs to be the drug is a narcissistic supply and people are the dispensers of it the narcissist is likely to be doing this in the background anyway but now this may be something that's flaunted in your face to punish you so the result is you may feel unspeakable trauma this could bring up all the terrible insecurities such as I was never loved and the love wasn't real because how could I be replaced so quickly maybe she or he is going to be different with this new person this new person is getting the dream that I no longer have plus my home my things and maybe even access to my children the trauma of being replaced may be so bad that the feels like extreme trauma such as your ancient DNA being triggered into feelings such as I'm now thrown out of the heart and I'm going to starve to death because I've been replaced it really can be that horrific and extreme totally I truly think that this is one of the most horrible things that we could ever go through and it may be so bad that you try to self-medicate with a bad choice such as trying to hook up with a new relationship prematurely or having sex with somebody which is only going to hurt you more or maybe this cripples you into a terrible depression where you feel like you can't face life and you dread bumping into the two of them and you may have the overwhelming urge to contact a new supply to tell them about the narcissist to warn them the healing remedy is this heal heal heal heal it go inside and self partner with every trauma that you feel has been triggered load it up release it and bring in your true self replacement and I'd suggest module four work which is the in Justices of what the narcissist can do as well as module to work which brings you back to a source to yourself as well as module nine which is about fully disconnecting from the narcissist a module seven and ten are also very effective when in deep trauma and then you will more easily be able to let go get on with your life and reach yourself of all of their MD and the pain connected to the relationship all of it whatsoever and you also will let nature take its course knowing that the new supply is on a healing journey just as you were with the narcissist and you're going to evolve into a higher relationship in an imprint for your future then your inner being was previously at and this feels so good when you get there so those are the seven things and I hope that's helped and I hope that you enjoyed this video and if you need this information if you would also like to access the deeper healing system that addresses this trauma that we spoke about in this video you can sign up to my free 16 day recovery course and includes an invitation of a healing workshop with me to comprehensive free ebooks and so much more so it's really simple to access it all you have to do is click the link at the top right of this video and remember if you want to watch more of my stuff make sure you like and subscribe so you get notified as soon as each new video is released and please share the Thrive omission and get other people involved so until next time keep healing and keep smiling keep striving there's nothing else to do there really isn't and tikis falling asleep but he's gonna say bye bye everybody till next time lots of love bye bye [Music] you [Music]

Channel: Melanie Tonia Evans

Views: 1,906,973

Rating: 4.7839556 out of 5

Keywords: narcissist no contact, narcissist miss you, what happens no contact, narcissistic rage, hoovering, revenge, narcissist pay back, silent treatment, outsmart narcissist

Id: 8g_sfJJkYbg

Length: 21min 24sec (1284 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 02 2017