We're Pregnant! - H3 After Dark # 38

is it here yes hey hi nice to see you what what's wrong you think this is a game does this look like a game to you oh this right here oh you watched the yeah i just watched off the rails yeah we're having fun with the gatsby let's see what's the problem yeah i'm gonna i'm taking this away you know this is our new building come on yeah i'm just having fun you know you can't hey [Applause] you're right [Music] [Music] just i don't trust you on that thing [Music] do you think this is a game no more gatsby seriously dude you are a menace on that thing ela stop stop okay okay okay i promise i promise no more on the gas can i keep it please no man you're crazy on that thing that i that was terrifying ila come on no please this is ridiculous you're way more dangerous than that thing that i am going to be able to get out of the door for help okay all right i have to say it kind of just takes over yeah so if you guys missed it we did it off the rails on wednesday that was a lot of fun maybe a little bit too much fun and ila came to uh well you gotta chill you're already destroying walls it's like i was like you know it's my office i own this [ __ ] right so do you want it to look like a kind of no but i think it's funny if there's like damage everywhere said crew members you know oh welcome everybody to after dark today's episode is sponsored by roman swipes wait to hear about these things [Music] wow friday baby it's friday how you feeling ela good to see you by the way feeling good yeah do you or do you want to apologize for how you were driving that thing or you feel like i you are in the right yeah because you were coming at me pretty hard it genuinely scared me you had it coming how's everything else going good excellent um so okay um what is this how's that how's that okay here this was something that we need to talk about this is something we need to address all right love in the last episode people have been noticing that he why do you do this love you do well let's see if there's actual well let's see here's the actual image of the face he always makes wow but it does look like you're always doing blue steel where you're kind of puckering up like you know talk to me baby and right and is that something that you know you do or is that something that by the way love love has been transport his consciousness has been uploaded to the matrix and he's now on a bot here let's see you love i want to see you all right here's me yeah so love is in now in a bot dan so did you know that that was something you did where you kind of pucker up blue steel no kinda yes no not really because i think there's two parts to it i guess my mouth i kind of pucker up it's just a habit i don't know i just suck every all the air out of my air my mouth like that um then it's the eyes i have four screens in front of me and a completely dark room which i don't think is super healthy with your eyes definitely not and um so i kind of just uh don't open my eyes that much you look good though you got that sexy look oh i'm going to come dance about to come here's all the memes about you love you cheers to all these yeah by the way i enjoyed the meme a lot handsome squidward you do kind of resemble a handsome squidward this is you people are saying this is what they think you think you look like do you think you look like a sexy e-boy yeah yeah we've been having way too much fun out here in the office the new office we got all the space and everything oh good times um you know it's james charles birthday so we have a whole birthday celebration planned for him coming up later um i just thought it was so special how this guy who's kind of just been outed as a really i people always make fun of me because now apparently i'm saying prolific a lot okay it used to be fascinating and people shamed me out of saying fascinating now i'm saying prolific a lot but you describe it you just you find a better describer of james predatorness than prolific let's get glam no it's accurate yeah i mean he is accurate i mean the guy is hitting like expert numbers i'm desperate he's hall of fame [ __ ] he got 2.1 million which like even before the controversy this is a big post for him right so he has not lost any support um he said hey guys just want to say happy birthday you know he's going heading out to chuck e cheese later to celebrate with all of his with all his friends that's where they like to go age-appropriate hey before we get to that though um bring them on i have i have a special guest on the line just bring them on okay who's on one second just a moment here friday let's go baby let's [ __ ] go it's friday baby friday friday memorial day weekend day five we made it this is now memorial day weekend officially right not next yeah this monday it's this money baby cheers baby cheers baby [ __ ] friday yeah baby your shirt says black what's on the rest of your shirt just i just see black black heather [Music] [ __ ] yeah baby [ __ ] yeah friday friday baby friday is there school hell no school today is there work hell no no friday baby baby [ __ ] yeah all right thanks gabe take care have a great weekend all right cheers buddy bye love to hear from gabe you know you got to start off friday with the right tone it's friday baby anyway james charles um can you believe the amount of support um and then there's also like big ass influencers who are like happy birthday sweetheart see you at chuck e cheese later for the big bash so you have brian singer's house later wow sister snapped this guy who's this guy oh he's not even big he only has 80 000 he's just on that clout pill so embarrassing but anyway so um we actually are super excited to be celebrating his birthday we have some call-ins lined up we also have um some great videos and some good times planned for example elo yeah here okay you know what a thirst trap is on tick tock no i feel like i've heard that but i don't know actually what it is okay so a thirst trap is when you're just trying to bait like horny it could be like a for men or women or you're trying to bait like horny young people to just like get when people live comment like you don't want to check my stories yeah yeah well and then if you check and it's like them like this like a girl in a tiny bikini titties yeah it's a thirst trap so i found the weirdest thirst trap ever a dude on tick-tock who does thirst traps with his sister little sister uh okay it's a definite bra moment but it's on tick tock so i mean how bad could it be baby well famous last words right but this guy's a huge um creator maybe it's a cultural thing you guys tell me i don't know because he's like he's he's italian or something or maybe spanish i'm trying to put it on italian 4 million well i don't know i mean the guy that benefited out of here you know well you see how moe and et are like hey come on they're pretend italians though they're not actually italian what money tiara and italia you got that it's a joke i think they think they are but all right you tell me what you think about this all right the title is little sister you are my life now i love my sister but i would never say she's my life that's hyperbole it's so people say that that's fine okay okay fair enough there's just some strap music playing she's like 12 bro i don't know what the [ __ ] what it's so cool that's kind of weird so do you think so what do you think is this kind of weird well all the comments are like bro what is wrong with you yeah this is wrong but again it's on tick tock it's got like a 8 million views this video oh my god is this a big account oh yeah yeah i know he's super popular he's a popular thirst trap person i'm gonna come uh this is uncomfortable this is wrong something they adding up here yeah well here's one so americans cannot understand he isn't from here other countries have good relationship with their siblings that's so i'll say that's good i mean good what do you mean by good i like my sister not trying to [ __ ] my sister peace and love okay but wait there's more okay okay i'm not done painting definitely making me feel weird though okay okay um where's my mouse literally can't okay here it is so here's another one with this sister okay now y'all just tell me if something ain't adding up here okay kind of wholesome so far [Music] no zach maybe this one's not as bad uh it's it's not as bad as that first yeah that first one was worse very because then he's trying to like kiss her on the i don't know i never touched anyone like that intimate with you know but again i'm just saying maybe it's cultural maybe this is a learning experience for us yeah if it was just this one i would say hey wait there's some with his mom ela [Music] [Laughter] here's the one with this mom zach get the music out of here yeah that is inappropriate it's underage get out of here so she says today's my birthday my mom surprised me okay that's his mom okay so he's just like that with everyone so that's my theory as this guy is at my theory is that this guy's just i don't know dude i don't know that's mommy make out thing but do you like would you touch your mom in this way guys i mean a lot going on there no no i i i'm pretty close with my mom but um but not that close but again it's the italian swag i don't know maybe the mommy's down though i'm not sure but that's the only thing i can think of i kind of want to get a call from someone in italy or europe who can like give us some perspective because i don't want to be like right coming off as ignorant appetite american yeah no i mean you're right that ram your younger sister yeah no i there's definitely uh a closer intimacy in some cultures but that that i've never seen anything like that yeah anal sex thank you rudy i don't know i feel like people could say i'm being i don't know but if somebody on if somebody on the if somebody wants to call in with some perspective especially from italy i'd love to hear it but there is actually uh someone in america who this has who does do this really so it's not unprecedented here so maybe this could help give us some perspective here this is even worse than kissing so this is chris from prank invasion he's kissing he's going to do a kissing my mom video all right here we go and by the way by the way this is literally look at look in the mirror i'm shooting this on my iphone this was all spur of the moment my mom was here and none of the cameras were ready so it's a shot on my iphone doing it for you guys all right so the cameras are scissors all right rock rock paper scissors mommy wait no let's try again here we go rock paper scissors i won that time all right how are we going to angle this here we go [Laughter] all right here we go i was like trying to stop this here we go oh my god even in italy i feel like they're more it's mommy make out there's more affectionate than chris and with his mom and this epic dare can i chime in on this because yes that's not really your europe thing i just want to stand up for all the european foot soldiers here okay okay love do you how do you greet your mom love at maximum with a hug maybe yeah i mean that's the thing i feel like i'm from israel and people are pretty warm you fist your mom when you say hi come on ethan what about the fact that your parents named you love right you were saying yeah i don't know i'm saying that um i'm used to people being pretty warm but it would not be in that kind of wait that's like too too much sexy well let me let me just say like because i'm trying i'm just really trying to put myself in that frame of mind but like to touch someone's face like this and then to put like do this yeah [Laughter] [Music] speaking of which to touch you like that and by the way damn girl dude your your nails look so good have you showed those yeah i did it's still the same i'm gonna need to last really long it's amazing yeah this gel stuff is amazing i'm kind of super late super late to the game that's hot well likes it oh so can we talk about anything going on in your life specifically listen there's a little tension here there's a little awkwardness because there's something going on that we don't know if we should talk about and i don't want to make elon comfortable but there's something happening and you guys may have noticed we originally titled it elo's big announcement but then we changed it to james charles birthday so there is some tension should we should we just break should we just break the and i'm drinking a diet coke here i'm celebrating i usually don't do coke zero on the show all right but i'm celebrating um well so i don't know yet for sure we don't know but ninety-five percent i right maybe maybe we're like sharing it way too early no one in their right mind will show you're right anyone yet you're right but i think because of the journey we've always been so upfront yeah the whole time with the journey and the ins and outs and the ups and downs we shared the last time early too yeah so with that being said [Music] let's just say i did not get my period [Music] aka i think you can hit the what up [Music] what up that's as [Laughter] [Applause] see i feel bad celebrating so much what if it's not yet you know but it's no so here let me explain why it's more than just you missed your period yeah yeah yeah first of all we've been doing the insemination thing or yeah and i felt this month it was a good month like when i went in there to nut in the cup i was like that was a good load [Laughter] i felt good about that load to this tiny little office with wax paper and some dudes sitting one foot outside the door closed and i nutted in that plastic cup and closed it and wrote down the time i thought that was a good one and so from that moment i had a good feeling about it but the thing is last time we tried the um fertility treatment on you yeah you got your period early um not exactly did i i don't think it was early you got it like because we the she's like you'll know if you're pregnant in two weeks and then you got your period after one week or yeah it wasn't two weeks yet yeah and so this time the two weeks passed two weeks was on thursday but here's the other wrinkle you've been peeing on the stick and we've been getting faint second lines ethan keeps telling me because i keep forgetting so he's like go pee on a stick so now theodore says it oh yeah and so the thing that really convinced me more than anything is because when she's peeing on the stick the second line means pregnant yeah there's a faint second line every time she pees on the stick yeah so i'm like thinking no period we got faint second lines powerful load i'm thinking i'm putting the one-on-one together on this and i think we did it but let's just see because you might get a call during the show why i did a blood test today she did a blood test this morning with the fertility doctor so we're expecting their call but so yeah it's just that i don't know i've been like it's such a emotional um roller coaster because i'm also on hormones and i feel like everything is uh crazy so it would just i don't want to like get too depressed if it didn't happen so that's why i also don't want to get too excited that's the same that's like the same explanation that's obvious right but i think first of all i take responsibility i get too excited i got too excited and then i told everyone and then i started like telling the guys and then i had to be like well i better tell my parents if i told the guys and then my mom immediately called me and he was like is no we don't know for sure like 95 percent but so and then the other thing is because we're like oh you don't want to jinx it no that i don't care about because last time we told really early with theodore yeah and we got an angel so pretty epic thank you so um but yeah so to everyone that's been wondering and guessing in the chat because i saw all kinds of comments and then people were like well don't make assumptions um so yeah that's what it was about the title last night and then i told ethan you gotta change that yeah she got mad at me well it kind of started as a joke because i was like i was like i said jokingly ela's pregnant for the title and then dan and then dan was like how about italy's big announcement and i was like yeah i like that keep it vague keep a little bit of click bait there yeah and then ela's like are you [ __ ] serious you can't title with that and i was like oh you're right i'm sorry i'm getting too excited i just want that call i don't honestly don't care about this show right now it's hard to do the show because i just want to know but but you are i know you are but we need to we need like that doctor like yes but because usually when you're about to get your period you get sore and stuff but you didn't you don't have any of the periods sign yeah that powerful load and i'm hungry what do you want you want no no are you hungry right now no i just went in general okay in general [ __ ] fried chicken i was about to end the show no because i gotta make sure you get in the calories she needs you know what i mean cookies for you no no no okay anytime you just tell me okay i'll end the show right now um so um that's what's been going on pretty exciting i think it's going to be another boy eli i hate to break it too funny you keep saying that and i don't think so i think it's gonna be a girl i'd love for it to be a girl but i just think i feel like we're just one of those families just gonna have all boys i don't know i'd love to have a little girl though you know don't get me wrong so dang you're wrong well anyway um we're going and then you know we're going to um disneyland this week for theodore's second birthday and now if you now that you're pregnant can you is there like restrictions on the rise now right yeah even from the very beginning it's like boop you're pregnant no rides yeah i can do some i mean we're just going to do the fun easy little ride yeah dj khaled none of that no jet ski fun rides another one throwback how many kids total do you want someone is asking in the in the chat i want three i me too three but you might have twins too that's the crazy thing ability right is that she has like a ten percent chance of having twins yeah that's part of the triplets bro no you what if we had triplets i think i just have to retire like i have no time for work i can't sorry everybody i literally can't do this triplets would be would be kind of nice to get twins though because you're like done you're like i'm done yeah we're done i'm out should i tie my how do you know some dudes do that how do you carry two you don't you don't have tubes i think that's the woman that does what do the guys do you get a vasectomy yeah we're going to get a snip the women do the tubes should i say right are you stupid i'll snip you do enough i don't know i did i would do any of that oh you just see like god's plan yeah okay i like that i'll have more kids frankincense because we've had such a struggle to get pregnant it's like how are you gonna say no right that's a good point if it if god just puts like uh immaculate conception you're gonna see the power of god because why aren't you kind of like unplanned i think i i was unplanned too yeah so it's like i'm crazy you know the crazy thing about my conception is that i may have told a story a while ago but when my mom she i'm much younger than my younger than my sister no i'm 10 years from my brother right right but seven from the middle yeah so my my uh conception yeah sounds weird i've conceived of you my child sounds like biblical um my mom had cancer and she didn't know it she had thyroid cancer and she went to the doctor because she was getting sick she didn't know she was pregnant she's like what's wrong with me and she's like oh you're pregnant and also you have this lump here which we need to check out and so um my mom she she they're like what do we do so one one doctor the first doctor was like you need to have an abortion so that we can do deal with the can the chemo treatment because we can't do chemo while you're pregnant we'll kill the baby and she's like that doesn't so she went to another doctor and got a second opinion and he's like that's [ __ ] insane that the doctor told you to get an abortion he's like he called apparently the second doctor even called the other doctor and bitched him out like that wow inappropriate sometimes it's so important to get that second opinion absolutely when you just have that gut feeling of like wait what you're telling me sounds insane yeah like i had one dentist that was like you gotta redo your whole mouth was that in israel or yeah in israel and i was like my teeth are fine what are you talking about he's like we have to pull all your keys yeah some like totally lunatic [ __ ] and then the other dentist was like you have one cavity yeah but yeah so your mom was a badass because she she gave birth and then went through chemo right my mom was such a badass that she basically carried me and didn't get any treatment for the cancer until she gave birth to me and then she got chemo and surgery she had her thyroid removed yeah and i think she had uh radiation or chemo i don't know that she had radiation and so she's cancer-free obviously she beat the she beat the cancer but um that's so crazy but i can't but she like you know here i am and like after birth you're in such a difficult spot already yeah i think she had to go straight into surgery that's crazy um but so yeah that's why i'm kind of like i don't know if i'm really even ready to even think about like um advice like to me or whatever what do you call it yeah i'll take four i love it i love kids now i grew up you know being four siblings it's pretty fun i'll tell you what and like the good thing is is that we're in a situation where we can support a big family so that's obviously good i can imagine like if you are financially strained that it could be really stressful having yeah a lot of kids but honestly you you make through even if you're not well off i mean that's how i grow up well yeah yeah yeah you know i know but it can add a lot of stress you know sure so like i'll have 4k i don't give a [ __ ] i'll just have five kids bro let's move to let's just go start a mormon family i don't know why mormons they have a lot of kids those mormons are fertile as [ __ ] bro they have like crazy families god's like we need mormons now and i've loved kids jumping on my lap thank you joe i hope my kids can jump on your lap someday and the hair hairy legs i got hairy legs so now that you're pregnant what do you want for lunch to celebrate talking about what's really important i don't know mexican no italian oh easy always stops me at italian or what's left barbecue chicken deli fried chicken [ __ ] fried chicken [ __ ] fried chicken let's think about it later yeah this is the end of the show discussion yeah listen this this conversation is important and he's pregnant we're not going back out he's eating uh we are at 30 minutes so we should do our ad reading oh let me see my family's messaging me let me see oh no they're talking about caterpillars they did call me 24 minutes ago i just wondered if my parents were watching and so i was being like we're pregnant 95 all right let's talk about dick wipes speaking of getting pregnant you're gonna love this one this one is roman dick wipes seriously hold on they're not called dickway they're called swipes that is right dick swipes give it a swipe you're good to go why are we swiping our dicks boys it says please show the product on camera i don't have the product do i nope they did not send it to us not showing your product we have not tried open the swipe we have a website they have a website dan that we can cut they sure do it's get roman.com h3 uh we 10 off your swipes we got a link in the description all right what are these swipes most guys have tried different ways to last longer is this the direction you thought it was going but thinking about it some guys think about baseball they count to ten they say a pledge of the legions in fact there was one great viral video do you remember where he says i think about my mom okay and everybody clowns on him forever they're like why do you think about your mom during sex was it the dude that we were watching earlier in the italian gang no he's like no no i have sex with my mom i think about my grandma to make me last longer that's why the folks at roman and online men's health company are changing the game with the roman swipes the secret to la to longer lasting sex roma swipes are clinically proven way to last longer in bed they're effective easy to use and fast acting but they and they don't even require a prescription dan you did some research this is the real deal right yeah i mean apparently it's um by the way i'm trying to find that video and all that's coming up is porn in my search oh my god mom mom and it's unborn it's on his screen love is like looking over here i'm not clicking on it i'm just i'm just saying um yeah no i mean it it's been clinically trialled and all of that and uh with control group the whole shebang the same thing this ain't your uh gas station uh fix you know the dudes who swipe last longer it's that simple uh roman swipes yeah yeah yeah uh swipes are great they will not transfer to your partner so you can last longer without worrying uh roman swipes are discrete unmax unmarked package and each swipe package is small enough to hide in your wallet okay guys now i just gotta make sure you know this if you're swiping your dick don't let the girl see because that's odd i'll be honest it looks odd go to the bathroom do it in private if it's like a first date you mean a first date and you start it looks like you're cleaning your [ __ ] with the baby wood you don't want that well you're assuming they're not talking about it maybe it's a couple in there no if it's a couple and you guys been together great yeah i'm saying you're like sleeping with the girl for the first time for some reason that's when i imagine it when you would need it the most but what do i know but like yeah just use it discreetly you don't want that's not a good conversation starter hey baby i got these romans for later they're super easy to use guys just take the swipe out of the pack swipe it on let it dry and you're good to go if you guys want to last a little bit longer go to get roman dot com slash h string get ten dollars off your first order of swipes plus free two day shipping make sure you click the link in the description to get ten dollars off swipe so you can start having longer sex you know it's funny um [Music] yeah or you could just take antidepressants i was saying that [ __ ] makes my dick feel like a potato all right it works though clearly um did you guys find that clip of the guy saying he fantasized about his mom bunch of porn like any search result of mom thinking of mom sex anything it's going to be porn search results someone was like oh god there's oh oh it was from a porn that's why no but it was like an e-fucked video it's not like pornography okay he finishes like super super fast right and then they're like man you didn't last very long he's like i know i was trying so hard i was thinking about my mom and what he meant is like i was trying to like think about something to make me laugh longer but what came out is like i was thinking about my mom and everyone was like what the [ __ ] yeah you had to see it get out of here yoko jesus all right um so anyway we actually have james charles on the phone i wanted to ask him about really do we have james uh we do i'll uh i'll let him on the call right now do you want to show his instagram oh i guess we did it earlier yeah i showed it show it again just for the for the highlight clip so i wanted to talk with james today about um just how like it must be so nice to know that he can like prey on so many people and just get away just be like totally fine you know and i just wanted to get some insight of how he's feeling and how he's doing so if he's uh whenever he's available i'd love to catch up with him uh james are you are you there james hi sisters james thank you for calling in man how are you have you been i've been good i just finished up a party at brian singer's house for my birthday oh no wait isn't brian singer the guy he was from that documentary an open secret he had like parties with underage boys and drugs and stuff yeah it was really fun oh jesus man i gave all the kids pikachu face paints stop it are you surprised i have to ask like what are the sounds in the background are those the sounds are is that like their garden yeah are you are you somewhere right now james oh my god um absolutely not i mean ever since ever since the scandal i've just been laying pretty low um at a ball pit in chuck e oh my god you're in a ball pit at chuck e cheese as we speak i've just been sitting here watching waiting and by the way those aren't the only balls i've had on my chin this weekend are you surprised james by how many people are liking your birthday post because you probably thought you were canceled right i mean it's amazing like how many people don't care like at all about this kind of thing when you're famous what is my birthday post it had two million likes right yeah you can cancel me but not my birthday does it encourage you at all that your fans have been so forgiving it's almost like hey i can do whatever i want right um wait what was that hold on um right now i'm ordering lunch hold on yes one large chuck e cheese pizza and a paw patrol [Laughter] you serious bro that is so brazen of you to celebrate your birthday at chuck e cheese i just do what i can i i'm just really excited i'm really excited so you i feel like maybe you feel like you've been you've been forgiven and even vindicated by your fans 2.1 million likes you're not wasting any time i guess i'm not wasting any time at all i'm just i'm just here in chuck e cheese i'm signing pizzas i'm just super excited to meet all my fans that happen to be you know 16 to 21 whatever well listen i don't mean to be rude or forward james but i personally think that you should probably be in jail not enjoying yourself at chuck e cheese bill cosby and harvey weinstein had all their fun for like 30 years before they went to jail so why should i go to jail who's that in the background james yeah oh oh my god wait are the fbi there at chuck e cheese oh [ __ ] [Music] can you believe the balls on this guy that he's celebrating his birthday at chuck e cheese in the ball pit yeah it's pretty like you said that's pretty brazen like he said you get you cannot cancel his birthday 2 million likes he had a good point when he's like it's kind of crazy how nobody cares about this stuff wow that is shocking well actually interestingly too we have the president uh trump is has his own allegations trump too and yeah wanting to weigh in um on the situation i didn't really know that he was following the whole james charles yeah situation but he's always you know he's he on the beauty pageant he's always kind of been right in in the beauty world he's kind of he's kind of glam himself all right married a model he's definitely got a glam squad right well how many accusers does trump have he has like oh it's hard to keep up but why don't we uh just ask him ourselves uh guys i think he's here yeah thank you hello can you hear me is this on yes it is yes it is hello everybody hold on one second i gotta take my energy drink mayonnaise oh my god yeah miracle what it's like a thick energy drink oh my goodness really good holy [ __ ] it's from their president trump's going to toe-to-toe with me hello you joe well thanks for calling back in i really appreciate that we we just got off the phone with james charles actually he isn't he great isn't he fantastic what a great kid what a great kid when he just earned whatever he turned yeah 22 i think 22 22 lucky lucky bastard you know um he was at a chuck e cheese celebrating his birthday isn't that great isn't that great about the people who love him the most [Laughter] don't you think it's a little inappropriate that he was celebrating at chuck e cheese after all not really it's free refills and i i i love any place with free refills right i didn't i hadn't thought about that angle yeah that's great the puppet the puppet who doesn't love balls you know what i mean i know he does sir they love the balls he's going to go very very far because you know i and by the way by the way by the way i love the gays i love the gays it's pride month it's pride month they're the ones who do my hair and make me look so good that's true it is pride month we should be respectful it is pride month right so he just got arrested from by the fbi i think he just got arrested yes see this is the problem the law enforcement of this country is out of control they did it to rudy they did it to roger stone they did it to paul manafort they're doing it to all my friends i think it's really really horrible the way the police just go absolutely crazy do you think it's a coincidence at all that they're arresting everyone around you uh you know i never really thought of that till right now that it's kind of strange when you think about it it's kind of because my other attorney michael cohen they arrested him too so that's really really hot but it's all fake news by the way fake news it's fake news you know james is a wonderful wonderful guy and these allegations of grooming are just they're just blown out of proportion and by the way that's what he does he grooms he grooves that's true i mean he is maybe the police misunderstood they thought he was grooming kids he's great exactly exactly you know it's not like it's illegal to send uh dick pics to anybody you know what i mean billy spitzer did it and weiner did it you know the guy so i would never do it i would never do it because you know that i could sell those and make a lot of money i'd never send them for free right right sure well are you are you able to pardon james is that something that's in your power well not only pardoned which i do have right here i have the james charles pardon ready to go here's the seal it's framed this is a very expensive costco frame this isn't the cheap way this is a good frame because you buy three of these at a time because i gotta frame for him and we're working with some very wonderful wonderful people you know i'm a real estate guy and a marketing guy and epstein island is up for sale so we can make it jade james charles island or or listen to this listen to this you're gonna love this here you know what his full name is you know what his full name is no his name is james charles dickinson oh that could be dickinson island oh dixon it's perfect because then the marketing match is what happens there no no no no absolutely mr president that is entirely inappropriate or we could go with charles island and it could be like charles in charge which is a tremendous tv show with my good friend he's a big right-wing guy so one so now that you've written him a part and by the way mr president um you're i don't know if you knew but you're not currently the president are you able to write james pardon legally oh no this is one of the ones i saved this is the this is the last one this is the last blank you know obama thousand i only wrote 243. this is 243. wow this is it this is double doubled in value doubled in value but someone like he deserves he deserves to be saved he deserves to have a presidential pardon he's a great guy he's misunderstood he loves children like bill cosby and and michael jackson so i think we need people like that we don't know well since you're this is i mean he's going to be really happy to hear that are you planning to celebrate with james uh once he gets out of prison oh never i'd never be in a photo with that guy overall i think he's a wonderful wonderful guy but i think he's a good you know cause like i can't be in all these photos with all these people i mean every time i take a photo they say i'm really good friends with somebody which is not necessarily true like jeffrey epstein there was one exactly just because i was in 50 60 photos with jeffrey epstein and all his private chat people are like oh you guys would be good friends i barely knew the guy and michael cohen he was my executive vice president for 12 years basically i saw him once or twice and your son even probably people say you guys are close like uh eric trump i i really don't know where right that's what it seems like i see him walk by my office and i'm like who's that guy i try not to get too involved with these people right you're not going to be there the [ __ ] is she something else what a knockout yeah you know i don't know if you saw we were watching um with these tick tocks where the mom was or the son was getting really familiar like really sexual with his mom have you seen anything is that like if you watch pornography could you give me the address for those because i think that'd be fun to watch i have a lot of time on my hands now oan is tired of interviewing me right right oh and by the way by the way this goes back to uh james charles again i think it's very brave of him very brave of him to admit that you forced him to rip off your hoodie i thought that was very very difficult oh yeah thank you thank you very much i think you're who are you complimenting i'm not sure if you want to thank him for that actually oh well he was brave he admitted to whatever he did yeah i'm very honored it's a deep cut yeah they're very they look very similar to those two hoodies well mr president somebody sent me a photo of you on the uh on the gatsby i have to get you i'd love to cruise on the gatsby with you someday come to mar-a-lago and we'll run over all the rich old people that i want to get rid of nice i'd love to well thank you for the invite thank you for your time is there anything else you want to say mr president before we part ways well i saw the love backed i even just saw it right now and i think it's tremendous could you imagine an army of me invading some town somewhere some you know left-wing town just hundreds and hundreds of trumps i think it's tremendous i'd love to see that it's like a trump rally you're describing yeah yeah it's a reverse trump rally it's just a lot of me that's right no one else well you guys were great i always love being on i'm going to get back to my miracle whip it's delicious it goes down chunky and thick which i like thank you thank you mr president stay good stay busy uh we'll see you in uh twenty twenty on the other side of memorial day yes yes yes of course yeah of course wow the president calls him to this show yeah what an honor i don't think he's kind of not welcome on most shows at that point as my kind of imagine yeah right he wrote james charles a presidential pardon how good fortune for james [Applause] uh speaking of which ela you want to see okay tell me what you think of this because us guys trying to make whatever this is i don't think you've seen it so tell me what you think is that your decimal checker no oh my god y'all i'm in his [ __ ] monster truck look at this [ __ ] all these speakers everywhere the [ __ ] is going on okay so okay you want to watch it one more time here one more time checker no oh my god y'all i'm in this [ __ ] monster truck look at this [ __ ] all these speakers everywhere what and this doesn't look so good so yeah so there's huge speakers yeah and some tormented soul [Laughter] it's got to be a doll it looks like some halloween left over but it looks so high quality at the same time yeah i think it's just part of the design of the truck it scared the [ __ ] out of me when you showed me this you think it's part of the truck yeah i think so are you just put well regardless i hope it looks super really but it's not a real person well we're just hoping and praying it's not i mean the mannerism is perfect though someone who's tormented by huge speakers shame we never got to hear the speakers well you know i went to her account and i was like is this just some goof account but here's what makes me think like what the hell her videos are nothing like that one you would think like it was a setup by some like prankster she's just some random lady so what is does what do you think about that dan is there more with the car is this the one we just watched yeah your adjustable checker no so what do you think about that dan and then here here's the next video what the [ __ ] listen to this y'all blaster what you doing these speakers go holy [ __ ] the top comment is addressed the demon pleaser oh my god oh here let's see if she dressed the demon watch this [Music] how is she not addressing the demon though all the comments are about it dude her hair is shaking yeah she never addressed the demon and now she's just making videos about jewelry you see how weird it is it's not a setup i did not see that [ __ ] monster thing in the back of that truck all i was thinking about was the speakers and i had been having some fun but next tuesday i get to see the owner of that truck again and i'll be doing another video she didn't see it what hell no yeah but that's okay wait wait here's a follow-up i need help speaker's got me [ __ ] up if he they said if he comes back on tuesday and it's missing i'm gonna lose it oh my god that thing is pretty badass i think it has got to be part of the car what a legend though wow do you think it's an actual demon like what's the alternative okay it's part of the car's design how do you think you get speakers that loud you summon a demon [Laughter] it's keemstar that's what keemstar's soul looks like um here's another one for you to break down oh this is what i saw this morning it's kind of dumb but i just thought it was great i ignore the caption i've never seen this they add in caption like we all know this but us teachers would never ask you students to do anything we wouldn't do ourselves what is happening i didn't know you're just he was supposed to hold it i guess but she really didn't give him any warning ourselves i didn't know you're oh my god i love like laughs in her face too like doesn't even try to hide it good [ __ ] right yeah one more time teachers would never ask you students to do anything we wouldn't do ourselves the commitment was so good yo what the [ __ ] is this oh okay here's another one you guys been wanting me to watch this for so long it's honestly just so gross that i never um i i was like this is too disgusting but okay you got i'll just i give the people what they want i'm a man of the people oh dude in a parking lot puts his hand down his wife's pants why don't we do ever do anything exciting like that either what is this this on the news no it's just a viral video i don't know what this channel is exclusive yeah this ain't news bro exclusive breaking news what's with this layout okay here we go like comment share so hand way down the pants but guess who smells it her no she smells it she smells it either why don't we ever do anything fun in public like that i just i can't believe how long they're doing it for in public like even though it's so short it's like it's crazy i would expect he would smell it i think it was such a twist that she smelled it don't you also that it seems like they already it's true they already have done it before oh this is yeah yeah this is routine they're pros [Music] yeah dude that it's just it's such a twist to me that she smelled it and is she that he's definitely in her butt right not because you could reach around and go to the front girl what is wrong with you you need jesus hold on let me get the cube where's the jewel oh uh it's probably on the other um set yeah give me that i need jesus right now jill lostin guys away this ain't right what just we saw here girl let's not watch it again though no we're gonna watch it in slow motion and get joel osteen's advice playback speed quarter you need jesus all right guys i'm about to save your soul because this [ __ ] is [ __ ] let's see a sermon i want to talk to you today about it's just a matter of time we all have things that we're believing will change we're fighting an illness we're struggling with an addiction we're dealing with fear depression anxiety we know what god promised that he would receive he promised this that he would free us from the fear we prayed we believe but we don't see anything improving but what you can't see is the moment you prayed in the undersea you're supposed to smell it of what was coming against you was cut off the source of the fear the source of the addiction the source of the sickness now you may not see any manifestation for some time come on over here there may not be any evidence that things have changed this is when many people get discouraged but there will always be a period of time dude that is so intense you think it's her kink or his i think it's both yeah it's a mutual yeah well so who's that your soulmate whose idea was it i i say the dudes it's usually the dudes but the fact that she's smelling yeah knows me think that it's her idea i agree i agree i i think she she came up with a modest proposal for him and he and he was down the clock what do you think she said like i want you to finger my ass and then i want to smell it or she just took a [ __ ] in public and he's doing it yeah you know i'm doing a little one a dip stick yeah a little one-two action it's definitely her why would she smell it sir i'm you know i assume it's a fetish you know you guys ever been asked to do anything weird in bed because abe you're like oh it was her like i was like i mean that's pretty alpha as [ __ ] to be like put your hand in my eyes it's a control thing i think oh that's true she alphabet the [ __ ] out of him that's a good observation yeah yeah i see that abe understands power dynamics he understands it well what's the kinkiest [ __ ] that anyone's ever roped you guys into doing uh nothing anywhere approaching that i'll tell you yeah my love life's been pretty vanilla i i i did i did fist ela's ass once at the zoo and i let the gorilla smell it but that's it that's that's as crazy as we've got i bet zach's got up to weird [ __ ] huh well this whole thing kind of reminded me of a story he told on the podcast oh when he ate out a girl's stinky's ass on a hike it's really not too far off from this i'm right it's not that far off well but it's not in public he went straight to the source right it was in public they were hiking no no he said when they got back no he said on the trail wait on the trail yeah exactly i'm not talking about it he's not talking it was on the trail oh that is okay yeah that's kind of on the same level is that alpha as [ __ ] ab you tell me bro yeah zach said he wants eight out of girls sweaty [ __ ] after a long hike on the trail see when i yeah the way i recall the story after i just assumed like back back i remember it being on the trail yeah me too okay that's the story okay did you did anyone see you did you go off the trail or were you i'm not talking okay shutting this down zach's back in a relationship so he's keeping things close to the best i'm and i'm happy for you by the way thank you thank you i appreciate that he only eats mayo now he doesn't he doesn't talk about inappropriate things speaking of mayo did you guys update on oh the mayo thing you missed a lot elo yeah okay so we've been at war we did it we talked about it not off the rails but oh cause they snubbed us some of off the rails but i guess i missed that part it was in the it was in the back half i think they snubbed us they said here's our eight finalists and then they even went as far as to send a dm to the podcast twitter saying listen you're an honorable mention we're gonna give you a free shirt and a year's worth of mayo but you didn't make the cut [ __ ] and then we found even deeper conspiracy is that bar stool sports is somehow involved and the mayonnaise covers yeah dave pork boy is i mean we are there's a little bit of speculating so um you know i don't want to i don't want to say anything that gets us in trouble you know we have enough lawsuits on our hands as it is but um but dave pork boy definitely stole it yeah he's exactly yes he's definitely involved it's his fault [ __ ] him see that's what i'm saying it starts to get a little anti-semitic when you play pig sounds tell me what you think because he's jewish so if you call him pork boy and then you start making pig sounds it sounds like a coaster joke yeah i could see that they thought i was crazy but i was like this seems a little anti-semitic yeah well i didn't even know he was jewish come on look at the guys what do you have blind sorry sorry who's hannah medic here who's sandy cemetic here jesus that guy's like every douche douchey jew i knew in hebrew school they all look like that there's nice jews there's good jews like me and adam sandler and then there's you know dave pork boy right well his name sounds like pork i don't know what to say it's not a jewish thing yeah um okay this next topic is pretty weird ela all right and i i have a hard time believing it's real thing it's called harry potter reality shifters and apparently there's kids that believe that harry potter is real and that they can will their way into the world of harry potter correct me if i'm wrong not so much that it's real but they could create it they could make that they can make it real they can make it real within their mind are you sure it's not so elaborate like role playing oh no that was sort of our impression at first but as we dug in um they they take it a little bit it's it's definitely several steps beyond fan fiction or uh fantasy so where'd you find it what is it i it kept popping up i kept seeing uh uh videos pop up on like twitter and stuff of um people being like what the [ __ ] is going on with gen z uh i thought i was like i'm team gen z i like znz but i mean this is definitely a mark against the whole generation if if i'm if i'm gonna believe this is actually not an elaborate troll but you'll see that they have quite a lot of like 160 000 likes so it has a lot of engagement so here let's watch this one if you're part of shift talk you know that we like the affirmation i am in my desired reality if you're a part of shift talk you know that we like to use the affirmation i am in my desired reality and a lot of people say that that's the affirmation that gets you to your desired reality in the end but when i used to say it i would be like okay well i'm not actually in my desired reality so i'm just saying this to trick my mind think about it like this my finger is on the lantern right this is what it looks like when i have both my eyes out this is what it looks like with my left eye closed this is what it looks like with my right eye closed so is my finger really on the lantern or is it over here who's to say can you be in more places than one at the same time who's to say it's all about perspective sure with both eyes open and with my left eye closed it may look like my fingers on the lantern but if i close my right eye i'm somewhere else all i had to do was blink like close an eye that's why everyone's like shifting is so easy because you're just putting yourself in a different reality you're changing the perspective think about it like that if you're a part of something like that hold on this is not this is not comedy and that's what i'm trying to figure out they're saying no i think we have to make a distinction but the top the comments are like wait this makes so much sense to me girl you changed the whole game and don't you wait but she's like dressed as hermione and she's pretty old too by the way she's not that young well gen z the the upper echelon of gen z is in their uh early to mid twenties now yeah i mean it's but don't you think she's a little old to be role playing well she's not in cosmic early 20s probably i think anybody over 12 is probably too old to be doing this let me sample something else you haven't shifted yet okay let me put you on this method that literally oh my gosh to my mutuals like shift using a variation so wait shifting is just to clear so shift that shift this is that's the shorthand for when you shift is when you've now entered this new reality okay so what is shift shifting is when you're transport your subconscious mind from your current reality they call it a cr to your desired reality known as dr right there's no such thing as the coin right right true that is true desired reality is not a dream it is real and contains real people time moves differently when shifting three days can be one hour so they're just like meditating what does it mean they just sit there and then it seems like it's it's like a very intense or or uh um i've seen people compare it to like lucid dreaming but um but while i wake up yeah um i i have a theory and i'm gonna piss off a lot of them but i think they're trying to do this because there's a lot of planning and meditating and i think sometimes they fall asleep and they're just dreaming right wow and they've just like kind of convinced themselves that uh something um something mystical is happening guided like when they do guided like yeah guided meditation kind of foundation yeah they tell you like all right so you're now in your favorite place and we're at hogwarts imagine the beers deep in you and there's birds right noises whatever you do that at therapy i've done that yeah do you think that your therapist could convince so either doing this therapy were they hypnotizer i actually haven't really seen anything like when like i haven't had it visual next time you go will you ask them to bring you to your desired reality do you want to work yes okay if it were yeah and that's the thing is i'll say like hey have you heard about shifting she's like yeah and it's not all harry potter you know this this you can go to whatever fantasy realm that you want but the from what we can tell the vast majority are trying to get to hogwarts and what you just kind of alluded to about harry being deep inside you oh there's a lot of this seems to be sexual like for real the motivation is to get there to [ __ ] draco malfoy or whatever yeah there's a lot of videos about draco wow i mean not universally i don't want to put them all in the same bucket i didn't know he was the heartthrob of the harry potter well i i well there is a lot of draco they call it draco talk right i didn't yeah they called some of them called draco talk i didn't know he was the heartthrob either but i guess uh how is he the hard thing rob maybe they just want the place that he's the bad boy right yeah i'm gonna come he's tom felton he's the guy yeah i mean you want to look up some draco fanfic no i mean also he's so young in that movie look at him he's like a child well they get older but the audience are they're also child age so they look up to their you know okay i'm still not entirely sure this isn't just an elaborate like role-playing thing here how is shifting the hogwarts real according to fantasy fans on tick tock you can harry potter fans on the app have recently been reality shifting to place themselves in the magical world world of hogwarts in reality shifting you can insert yourself into the alternative reality through precise planning and meditation how to shift such a bizarre take on this whole thing it's like you're just you're just meditating and imagining something like well who wouldn't i feel like every kid when you watch harry potter you're like i wish i was a wizard yeah but it's like you know of course fortunately we are you're you're not a you're a mug blood all right you're a [ __ ] muggle dude yeah when i was uh telling my girlfriend about this that was her responses like when i was a kid this was just called fantasizing like yeah i mean we all wanted to be wizards sure yeah y'all are taking it way too far bruh this is like q and on for like harry potter nerds it's like damn the internet really brought these people together it is kind of a massive thing delusion uh and it's you know it's it's escapism obviously but just taken to the end look they gotta face the music harry potter is real and you're just a [ __ ] muggle harry potter exists in our world they got the magic they put the spells to do the invisibility and your ass is just a normal [ __ ] muggle you don't have magic face the music kid you got you got shafted bro i don't know uh why like give it like such an official title shifting shifting bear well again i i don't know how deep we want to go into it but but a b i mean you were investigating it last night and they get extremely specific in the techniques like i'm about to read somebody yeah you can uh you know there's long instructions there's two important factors in this there's the script which is sort of what ela was talking about which is planning ahead of time talking about where you want to go those types of things that calm you and then there's the method so the script and methods and then there's like four uh popular methods so i don't know where you want to start 69. i mean it's totally like uh what my this therapist that i was trying right she was doing she has a script too huh i think they just need to take peyote and all right and you really plan that [ __ ] out there you go i'm doing a deep planning i want to be in draco malfoy's closet and he says bad girl he sees me in the closet he says what are you doing here he ravages me and throws me on the bed he's he casts a spell in my mouth so i can't open my mouth and then and then he casts a duplicate on himself there's three of them and they all run rain on me [Laughter] he duplicates himself into five people he's then there's two in my butt two in my that's a four a quadruple penetration and i say no draco no i try to but my mouth is sealed [Music] [Music] okay if you're a raven so apparently the raven method actually let me watch this video i wanna see what she was saying this girl's a pro at it we gotta interview her dan this method and i use it to lucid dream it's all about intention you know if you wanna shift with it you can shift with it if you want to do lucid dreaming with it you can do that okay basically what you're gonna do go to bed like normal wake up early then go about your day for a couple of hours then go take a nap naps [Music] [Laughter] and they shift they don't do anything if you want to include like a method you can like do meditation tap into your senses try and visualize yourself in your desired reality and then fall asleep whatever but like naps do not underestimate them i swear so many people like shift for the first time during a nap okay by the way she's right about naps i mean naps do rule naps bruh bruh oh i mean i have the most intensely insane dreams when i nap maybe you're shifting dude i'm gonna try to shift i wake up in hermione's room says what are you doing here she duplicates herself there's 20 hermiones except it's her as an adult not as a child i'm writing a script yeah i say no hermione no and then it turns it starts turning into a nightmare lose control and then she takes out a strap-on [Music] and i say this isn't part of my dream hermione and she starts pounding me no okay i don't want to get too trigger warning eh um i'd love to reach out and try to interview her uh yeah i mean after this segment they might not be too enthusiastic about coming on but maybe they want to set the record straight yeah maybe they want to set the record straight one of the most popular reality shifting methods is the raven method this method involves being in a starfish position on one's bed and counting to 100 usually with subliminal playing or with a positive affirmation said between numbers uh there's the alice in wonderland method this method involves meditating what's happening back here the sign just randomly turned off we're trying to turn it back on but don't worry about it allison wonderland method involves meditating and then laying on your back and imagining yourself sitting against a tree until someone from your desired reality runs past you at which point you're supposed to chase them until you fall down the rabbit hole oh boy you are meant to find a key that will unlock the door to your dr the pillow method the pillow method is another reality shifting method gaining popularity because it's relative simplicity it involves um just put it over your face until you suffocate and pass out it's dying hey the sign just turned back on whatever writing down affirmations on a piece of paper repeating the before bed and sleeping with the paper under your pillow i'll stop it there's a bunch of these wait with the paper under your pillow yeah for the tooth fairy yeah here i'm going to show you some of these other ones we saw um here's a girl sharing her experience wait there's a picture of james charles is this what you guys meant it said here's a pic this one says girl shares her experience after shifting and i click it and it's a picture of james i'm gonna guess that's an heir but or honey or is it yeah exactly i want to be james charles on his 22nd birthday after being accused of being a predator he's been cancelled by all of his sponsors and he's only has to go to chuck e cheese for his final birthday well i'm not saying he's dying sorry didn't mean that um what is this like an old man seeing my dad for the first time in three years for me but only a day for him i loved hogwarts but let me tell you you shift you start to miss people oh dude that time works differently oh man dude holy [ __ ] where's the one where the girl was like i was scared to follow the voice it said you're almost there where's that one shifting 101 the raven method hey guys so here's the raven shifting method step one make sure that you're really tired and kind of happy and again this isn't like underground [ __ ] this is 124 000 likes wow yeah make sure you're not like sleeping because i make that mistake a lot and then i actually literally fall asleep and then it actually fails number two play some subliminals on your phone or out loud number three get in a starfish position no limbs are touching don't move start to count to 100 with your eyes closed once you hit 100 say isn't that sleep paralysis between counting each number visualize your dr it's okay if your mind wanders a little bit but try to regain that focus immediately once you reach 100 you should stop moving try to fall asleep and recite some affirmations for example i have shifted i'm in my dr i am waking up in my dr remember to be calm and have positive energy i mean yeah that this is kind of just lucid dreaming yeah people have been studying how to lucid dream for a while and it's probably something like this i wake up and i'm in hagrid's hut he's so powerful and so strong and i say hagrid tell me the truth is your [ __ ] as big as the rest of you and he says he says he slams it on the table with a giant thud his ale on the table falls over from the massive thud of his 20-pound [ __ ] what and i say hagrid take me he casts a spell on his dick grows even bigger it's the size of me now i'm hugging his dick like a body pillow enveloping my whole body hagrid daddy i turn into a i'm like a giant fairy next to his giant man-made [Music] this is this is like a real fanfic i'm the size of a fairy and i'm his man and his giant hagrid [ __ ] daddy this is a pulsating and i'm riding it like a mystery saying trisha would probably do um shifting shifting yeah trish is the shifter for sure how do i know oh if i how do i know trisha didn't shift here from hogwarts she's a hogwarts she was she was making all those uh harry potter tick tocks the other day yeah yeah so maybe she's into it how do we know we're not in the dream world and she's shifted in here oh [ __ ] what if hogwarts is real and we're shifted into the history podcast right now exactly holy [ __ ] i sort of feel like i'm lucid dreaming right now yeah anyway back to yeah i'm sorry please really and i said hagrid get me a mug of bubble beer what do they call it daddy bubble beer butter beer beer and i pour the butter beer all over my body daddy now his [ __ ] is filling the whole hut the windows are bursting from [ __ ] me [Music] gross it's the door is blasted open from cockpit and it looks like a giant it looks like a giant tin can of spam daddy chill it's bursting open and i'm drowning in hagrid's giant spammy [ __ ] [Music] someone said harry potter is slowly being ruined for me well i was making the same thing you know what ruined harry potter for me the last book oh hot take hot take thank you you want to ruin harry potter for me but the first one okay slot one that's such a hater okay by the way it was it was just bad i'm sorry but like i'm just gonna tell you guys the ending of that book was horrible yeah and i'll explain why without spoiling anything i mean who doesn't know how to answer it he spends the whole book developing all these characters and all this school and the whole [ __ ] plot of the whole story leading up to the final book is thrown out the window because he has to go find these relics that's the only way you have to go find these relics it's like okay what about the six other books no and then there's like a last episode right where it's like years later oh that was the worst bro don't even get me started on the oh i'm not following it was a happy ending no that's bull that's so stupid it's like oh and anyway they're like oh everybody's dead and we discovered and like people died and we we freed whatever and then it's like fast forward harry's kid is getting it's going to hogwarts and everything's great it's like i'm sorry who [ __ ] wrote this 10 year old i gotta i got a hot take i i hate or i just dislike anything harry potter you guys are all cynics take dan just said yeah dude you said you don't like the first one no i would okay you had to read between the lines a little bit zach i'll have the hot take i like the happy ending where everyone's happy i know you like happy endings baby i know that do you guys know that there's a character in harry potter of happy endings i'm back in hagrid's hut did you guys know that there's a character in harry potter called lucius malfoy yeah he's a [ __ ] racist lucius malfoy okay what about it what do you want from me it's the dumbest [ __ ] name for a character i've ever wizard bro is he a bad guy what a surprise the guy named [ __ ] lucifer bad guy i'm not gonna even say she's a good writer because i read that whole book and then at the end i was like oh she's not that good of a writer but people actually are criticizing her a lot now because like there's one asian character or wasn't it harry's end up being his significant other or was he get with somebody else oh he got with ron's sister anyway he was interested in this asian character and her name was chen and everyone was like oh really you gotta name the one asian character chen so there's that to deal with anyway if i shift in there i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm imagining harry potter's world i rewrite the ending it's way more interesting and better her name was cho chang sorry oh yeah cho chang it's like i'm sorry can you think of a less like that much better than what ethan said i said worse hello my name is cho chang it's like dude could you write like maybe she doesn't need to be in cho chang i get their criticism on that i didn't think about it at the time when i was reading it jacob rolling has had a million hot takes right yeah she's apparently super like she hates trans people it's like where did that come like for someone who wrote such an imaginary book yeah and it's all about friendship and yeah overcoming the odds as you could probably tell i'm not super familiar with harry potter but didn't she also get a lot of [ __ ] for there's like a race of little goblin guys that are obvious jews and they're all okay i i i don't think i realized i didn't make that connection personally i think she also got shipped for that she did she did i as a jewish person i i i didn't make that connection they just seemed to me like goblins and i think in fantasy goblins have that reputation and dwarves and stuff yeah i get it i i i've just i just heard the second hand that she had gotten a lot of flack for that but i have heard that but didn't she write a book about how like a trans mer like some trans person is a mass murderer and stuff i think so yeah that was and it was under like a pen name or something so people didn't know it was her at first but everyone figured it out yeah she's a weirdo man yeah a little bit she got so rich though what's your name again jk rowling and yeah i think she's the richest author she's a billionaire well the yeah i mean listen shifting on tick tock you will but those books were yes a phenomenon listen anything that gets people reading these days is awesome yeah they were a phenomenon oh i know i know and i yeah she's a billionaire holy [ __ ] i don't know why they just never clicked for me even as a kid i always liked fantasy and stuff do you like the movies uh i haven't seen them all i've seen a couple of them and they're good some are okay i don't know i'm exaggerating my hate for it i don't i don't hate harry potter i just yeah it's never been something i've been into it's so crazy to me because it's such a big deal for me growing up for most of my friends like everybody around me was always into it like you know there's no one i got the last book when i was first leaving israel when i first met you that's how long ago it was i bought the book that just came out in the airport store and it was like cut throat rates i paid like 150 bucks for it or something and i was reading it on the way back yeah about that huh now i remember i forgot that did you guys find the one of the girl being like i'm so close but i'm afraid because i still just have a picture of james charles here guys oh i don't know which one that is that you're it was the first one dan sent it was a girl being like i'm so i had someone saying you're almost there but i got scared and stopped oh uh oh yeah give me a second i'm fine so anyway um here's a script if you want to write a script to gila you want to write a script with me okay my name is blank i am blank years old my nickname is big salty balls i was born in my zodiac sign i'm sorry harry potter doesn't believe in zodiacs they have real magic they don't need that [ __ ] what the [ __ ] is this this is stupid my blood type oh my blood status well muggle obviously anyone else draco and i this is specifically about giraco there's a there's a script in here about dracco i just sent you what i the one that you were looking for i'm pretty sure it's it's this um my personality my patronus my wand my habits my love interest do you play quidditch i will not be able to suffer physical or mental trauma and neither i nor anyone i know will die oh okay that's reassuring i do not need to study because i am extra smart and never fail hell yeah [Music] my iq is 80. i can speak this is crazy detailed bro oh my goodness i am never late for class okay speak for yourself why are you writing that why are you writing that in for me i have clear skin and healthy hair nails let's go talk about fantasy i have good friends with everyone i'm good friends with everyone at hogwarts i do not bully people with a lesser blood status to me okay sounds a little [ __ ] snob to me i am rich and can afford whatever i want i have good breath all the time did you do you found it dan oh we got a technical issue [Music] i close my eyes when i open them i'm in dumbledore's office oh my what are you doing here i put my finger to his lips and i say shh i know what happens to you oh people say dumbledore's gay oh that's another thing she she did oh she did like after the fact after the books yeah she's like oh by the way he's gay okay they made a big deal out of it i opened the and i say dumbledore there's only one man i've ever wanted [Music] i go dumbledore i'm not gay but i'm bi curious and the chime sound is getting me every time and then dumb and then this is where it always goes my fantasies dumbledore casts a spell on his [ __ ] and it gets huge and fills the room that's the same script his room the room fills with his [ __ ] meat and blasts the doors and windows out i start drowning and dumbledore's massive wizard [ __ ] his [ __ ] is a horcrux it has part of his soul and i suck it out i suck the horcrux out he's never got dome like that before and he says to me afterwards ethan you may be a mug blood but that was magical okay cut it thank you thank you thank you thank you look at alfredo all right here's the one i was this is the one that got me interested in this to begin with please enjoy this video i took at 3 40 3 40 a.m after accidentally shifting oh [ __ ] oh my god i just shifted i just shifted this isn't the one i was thinking about okay it's currently 3 40 in the morning oh my god were you not just having a dream she said i literally woke up i wasn't even trying to shift i would you guys have me on snapchat okay so i was in my dr for only three days but the other night i was on snapchat wait okay no no it was last night no i'm all over the place last night you had a dream and i was like or it was a few hours ago wait what [Music] i was talking about how i they're just goofing around oh my god uh yeah you clicked on the one a b sent um uh oh the massive one here yeah okay here there's one like a spooky one here it is this is awesome look at two hundred thousand lights [Music] i almost shifted last night i was so close and i heard a voice saying you're almost there but i got scared and came back i didn't expect it i'm so upset that i got scared because of that voice sounded so comforting and reassuring you're almost there i don't know why that voice made my heart race and why i can't stop thinking about it is that even supposed to happen when you shift i think she might accidentally shift it into hell i think she just fell asleep i think she shifted into uh she shifted into snape's snapes okay under snape's bed he casts a spell all right it blows out the window and doors all right enough of this [Music] interesting stuff though eh we gotta get one of these people on i need to know more about it because these are not children these are like young adults yeah yeah sort of early twenties a lot of them i mean i i'm sure some are teen well yeah for sure a lot of teenagers we purposely so the neck we have actually really fun uh ending um how long we've been going down we have been going oh my god the dogs are losing their [ __ ] uh for about a little over 90 minutes okay good so i have to pee really bad you want to take it did you get a call from the fertility doctor no they said they were going to call this afternoon yeah liars she called right before we went up we're like here we go and she's like hi i just have a question about billing i was like oh yeah i'm gonna go to the bathroom ela sanyo now hmm i'll take you myself i got nada anybody got some uh well we already did talk about that no harry potter fan fictions either no um any chat things somebody said uh read sonic fan fiction they are mad funny yeah i'm aware of the the whole sonic the hedgehog fandom um being i don't want to upset anybody but a little weird a little weird um i haven't delved that deep to actually uh read a bunch of them or anything like that but um but yeah i don't know what it is about sonic the hedgehog that attracts uh a certain type bro have you seen amy no i'm kidding okay sonic is that the is that the hot hedgehog the chick hedgehog it is thank you jay station um yeah what else my stepdad is currently in the icu uh-oh i watched ethan in love beat each other up on off the rails and it was just what i needed for that moment oh well uh peace and love and best wishes to your stepdad and uh glad we could help you out that was a lot of fun to shoot as uh although although i was i was genuinely worried ethan was going to injure himself yeah i know like that i was you know i i was maybe playing it up a little bit for camera but in the back of my mind i was like i don't want to have to drive this dude to the hospital right now it was scary i mean he almost flipped it at one point he did almost flip it at one point so but it worked out everything's all good mm-hmm and it turned out eel is maybe even scarier on that thing so i have to admit that when you get on that thing it really does take over you you just want to go fast and smash elo you [ __ ] [ __ ] up and you like can't damage it there's like virtually no damage i feel like everything else is messed up indestructible yeah the only real damage all came from um from bobby lee which um to any new viewers uh shortly after we got the gatsby we had bobby lee on as a guest and he rammed it at full speed into the door frame at our old office and uh and almost broke his leg i mean yeah to be quite honest it was it was pretty intense yeah and uh he [ __ ] it up pretty good but other than that yeah everything else is just kind of cosmetic i had to kind of bang the bumper back into shape after bobby because it was thanks damn slammed into the tire we were just uh recounting our gatsby adventure the other day someone else how do we feel about lord of the rings we do love it love lord of the rings love it love lord the movies were perfect yeah fantastic no we don't talk about the hobbit movies though the hobbit was such a dog [ __ ] i was like so jack you know it's like yeah me too but when i heard he was putting the hobbit which is like a short story into a three-part yeah that was a bad song i was like no way and when we watched i think we left i don't think we even finished it yeah we didn't finish it the later ones are worse dude like the first one is is probably the best one so all right i think after the first one we're still kind of open-minded yeah the second one that we the first one was okay yeah uh that well the barrel thing is in the first one actually [Laughter] it's so stupid yeah it's very stupid i think i could be it's been a long time i later i kept hearing people made these fan edits where they took all three and cut it into one movie i was like oh that's interesting i bet that could like actually really improve it you just take out cut out all the fat i watched it still [ __ ] sucked out it really did it's not you can't salvage that [ __ ] there's so much wrong with that film yeah like they were editing the plot to make stretch it out yep creating romances that didn't exist and these are [ __ ] and then cutting out characters that were actually interesting so stupid all right all right one last thing is that they're asking for a fit check feed check fit that was not not fair like f-i-t f-i-t you guys still care where you got sock stuff on your feet i don't know where you're gonna put that just for you guys i don't have much to like show off today but oh fit check fit check my fit is nothing just steady fret yeah all right elas show it off come on girl i have been loving wearing huge uh t-shirts stand up show it off what this is you're gonna be wearing huge t-shirts from here on out for about nine months but um i want to smell feet yeah not much detail in today's fit you said you want to smell feet let me let me fish your [ __ ] come on [Music] um oh palm angels dipped no i thought this shoe was really interesting and that's why i got that there's a lot going on here but yeah that's it give us a break don't be shy stand up give us the world there's not much to squirrel god damn it you want to talk about stephen crowder all right let's do it so stephen crowder is one of these like these like youtube conservative grifters who like i was telling dan i'm like i wish that i would just be a conservative it'd be like pretty much easy money it's the easiest griffin that's like the game every take is so obvious it's like everyone has the same opinion and if you even have like one gram of like personality then it's just like the easiest gift ever you guys know stephen crowder from these changed my mind things where he goes to college campuses and then debates like children poorly like not fully educate you know in college you think you know [ __ ] but you don't this is like freshman in college i mean come on so he he does male privilege is a myth changed my mind stuff like that yeah i came across one of these one time that just like was so upsetting to watch about like yeah it's about like i don't know i don't even remember but something about like gay or lgbtq kind of topic you should find some other good ones like maybe what you was talking about it was it was really annoying yeah they're all like they're all of his video you're talking about one of his videos of him changed my mind i mean they're they're all basically like a little racist or misogynist or like white nationally which is kind of his flavor of content but anyway the reason we're talking about him is because he made a video about us and you know we don't [ __ ] when people talk [ __ ] play that horn yes wait are we even doing that anymore i don't [ __ ] around when people talk [ __ ] but that's usually about weaker feet no this is about going to war anything for any purpose you hear that [Music] [ __ ] people don't [ __ ] but this guy is such an easy this guy's such a [ __ ] easy target because he's such a douche such a douche of course everything comes down to this joe rogan clip funnily enough like the uh the i don't know the whole story has echoed through because it's like joe rogan his daddy he's like daddy conservative now and and like he he's like anti-covet anti-vaxx and all this [ __ ] like so the conservatives prop them up like see and of course uh crowder got offended that i said you should listen to the cdc which as you know is an awful opinion which is of course why like half a million people died or like six hundred thousand now how many people died now in the u.s i think i cleared six hundred thousand i oh it did i think i love how he can be like dude this guy says listen to the cdc what a tool cut scene to to uh someone dying on a ventilator it's just under 600 yeah so here's what he says about it and i don't think i've ever seen it more i have a i have a lot to say about crowder to be honest with you guys who by the way this guy was recently [ __ ] his whole channel was demonetized on youtube for being such a [ __ ] bag and that is hard to do you basically have to be like isis to get demonetized by youtube i was saying you know the only two channels i know that were outright banned is leafy is here and isis so he wasn't even banned he was permanently demonetized indefinitely in death which means it could be lifted because i guess it happened once before and he was demonetized for about a year and then oh for real and they gave it back well this has happened already to him this is round two what was he demonetized for the first time uh it was for harassing this journalist who's gay oh um right i remember that yeah he right right it was a whole thing and youtube really played it poorly too if you recall because they like they picked everyone off they flip-flopped like 10 times on it and managed to make everybody upset in the process it was very dumb of them i do remember well anyway in this most recent one he um his first strike was for spreading election misinformation obviously nevada voters mysterious the nevada voter mystery deepens he claimed that an unknown person or group altered public records to hide the fact of a former hillary aide who has been missing for two years may have voted illegally anyway he got a strike for that one he got a second strike for an episode covering the killing of a 16 year old boy by police crowder and his co-host argued that the shooting was justified making jokes about the circumstance of the shooting that's pretty cool and then i you guys may recall the day that the george floyd verdict came out he made he literally posted a mock george floyd killing where one of his homies kneeled on his neck so i mean the guy's a piece of [ __ ] let's be honest anyway let's see what he says i believe it was the day he came back to youtube after oh that's right he got suspended correct for i think it was because of that first strike i think it was the nevada thing i mean i thought it could be wrong it's hard to keep track because i don't get these guys they act so shocked when [ __ ] happens it's like you've been testing the boundaries relentlessly well it's it's it's a feature not a bug you know what i mean like every time they get in trouble with youtube they get more support from their audience for sure yeah i know i know it was a part of the grift i believe it was about the uh black farmers when he was making the joke oh dude and then that one he go he goes right yeah i can't even show it it's so racist he goes there's no he's like the subsidies to there's a was a specific carve out and the uh one of the bills for covid relief for black farmers and he's like there's no such thing as a black farmer and he was making all these crazy stereotypes about like the farmers like waiting for jordans and spending the money on jordans instead of farm equipment and [ __ ] real low-hanging crazy like super racist [ __ ] bro it's crazy that you can be like that much of a [ __ ] bag and have and people are like yeah that's what they like anyway here's what he says okay here's something that i really wanted to touch on this guy uh i think his name what's his what's his i can't like there's so much to say because i haven't really talked about him but the dude has such small dick energy that he's wearing a holster he wears a [ __ ] gun holster bro oh my god like he's such a he has such big energy he needs a gun holster to feel like magic he's wearing it as like an accessory yeah yeah yeah always yes he wears a gun holes here bro and he's got tissues next to him in case you know he starts crying exactly in case he starts crying and his mascara starts running or if he you know and i was going to make a jizz in his pants joke but i don't know where that's going you're it was just funnier frankly but why is there i mean dude having fun on the desk that big of a necessity pro tip for all guys don't wear this kind of shirt too good call bad luck baseball tees yeah well anytime you put a a a holster over it yeah which i guarantee is empty because let's be honest his homies don't want to show up to the office with when this dude is off un unhinged with guns on his side but yeah uh token allen is it is his real name ethan ethan ethan it the htc yeah it's ethan what is it there okay look at this big show he's trying to act like he doesn't know i am crowder has been such a [ __ ] he's been trying to collab and get me on his show and come on hitting my show and i'm always like i don't [ __ ] like this guy he's a massive douchebag and i've always ghosted him him and ben shapiro and dave rubin and all those guys always wanted to hook up with me because i was making social justice warrior videos what's his name ethan ethan ethan what's the name i've never heard that name ethan yeah it's like you know who i am i don't know how to pronounce this and if you don't know who i am you definitely have heard of the name ethan before is it ethon ethan ethan ayton so i have an email by the way from his like producer assumption one of his producers trying to get me to come on the show here i'll read it because there's some funny excerpts in it louder with crowder here let's see i thought i started oh here it is i'm in the wrong email he sent it to my business you know because he didn't have my [ __ ] normal email thank you jack i needed that i thought it'd be you know you have this you have this star feature if it doesn't put it at the top of your pile it's like what am i gonna go here it is anyway so hi i'm a celebrity talent booker for louder with crowder i'd love to book ethan cline ethan ethan klein old they even bolded my name that his real name what they bolded my name they said louder with crowder is a syndicated show uh hosted by steven crowder stand up comedian he may be many things but i don't think this [ __ ] is a stand-up comedian he was a post for four years on fox news he was their youngest ever contributor it said roger ailes even had around with him [Laughter] steven's irreverent edgy yet distinctively conservative style has thrust him into the national success appearing on most major cable shows and then when i didn't respond this booker was so desperate to get me she said she responded let's see five days later good morning following up on the below request can we find a day that works and then again seven days later forwarded me at the original email again so crowder is very desperate to get me on his show for a guy who says he who was never he does he he doesn't he knows me so little he doesn't even know how to pronounce ethan he's never even heard of that name before choder ethan klein your mic's on there yeah you're the audio guy ethan klein i love how the the sub audio guy has to be an angle that i really wanted to touch on oh boy this guy uh i think his name what's his what's his name there uh uh token allen is it is his real name ethan ethan i can't believe he's wearing the uh you're the audio guy but i don't see them laughing i know i love how the sub audio guy has no i'm saying podcasts right when they're singing look anyone can do a podcast right so this is h3h3 is like a popular podcast on youtube and um this is kind of when people criticize podcasts right when they're saying look anyone can do a podcast super used to be with radio or television yeah and i understand that but i also have a problem with gatekeepers because sometimes we're interesting people who couldn't make it through the gatekeepers because they were too controversial right but then there were some people who have no business really being on air because they don't offer anything so this exhibit here of h3h reproductions is is perfect it's like you know this when you've done stand-up right and then every stand-up community is like i do a podcast people like oh yeah my husband's unemployed too yes of course there's over one million people right i know that that doesn't surprise me dude this is like so funny that there's so many people with podcasts but not many of them are good right that's an observation that is super unique yeah new right right i heard even are you hurt yeah it did okay it hurt a lot you know what did you call him stephen even trump knows how to say my name stephen ethan stephen is his name stefan they were uh upset about joe rogan i guess something something joe rogan talking about masks i just think this is one of the most pop one of the more popular podcasts on youtube from what i understand i don't think i've ever seen a more perfect encapsulation she's calling our podcast one of the more popular ones but at the same time uh we have no uh no business doing a podcast and he's never heard of it yeah he tried to get on it multiple times i tried to get you on his show multiple times it's a [ __ ] goon i i think it's so funny when people pretend like they don't know someone like bro come on just say i know him i know about him i don't like him it's fine of group think and discouraging any sort of critical thinking whatsoever and laughing about it with no self-awareness this is my favorite clip uh of the year let's roll this guy wants to talk about self-awareness while he's sitting there with that and a box of tissue next to him bro why do you have a box of tissue look how much do you need tissue how much tissue does he use in a shell like i have this tissue in my house like in the bathroom but you're on set you're recording you're not gonna need a gun there's a tissue next to that what's with the holster unless he's really just wearing it as an accessory which is also pretty bad now it's part of the grift it's like i'm one of you i'm a badass all right i'm a i'm a la based comedian but i'm not one of the coastal elites high target that someone might burst in trying to shoot him even during the show i don't think he's in l.a walking target just uh just to correct you on that i think he lives in texas or some [ __ ] of course i feel like he's like a where is he from i'll fact-check it but i don't think he does his show from los angeles all right anyway this is his favorite clip of the year i'm glad he enjoyed it maybe there's a reason it's one of the most popular podcasts right i mean even if we can dissatisfy you this much yeah uh he's based in dallas oh oh boy oh why'd i have to say it out here in texas we coming up now boys [Applause] yeah oh my god is he really yeah he's canadian we need to we need to stop letting them in we need to stop letting him in i'm saying he's born in detroit oh oh a b detroit but people say that he's canadian all the time yeah what the [ __ ] citizenship yeah is from canada his uh wikipedia says he's an american canadian conservative political commentator so i don't know all i know is that i once i'm done shooting my gum i'm gonna wipe the tears away because boy is that scary ethan ethan ethan all right let's watch let's watch let's watch and you gotta wear a mask so i'm out there wearing a mask wow big deal and then now they say you know if you're outside you don't need to wear a mask it's pretty simple you want to talk about it yeah i mean there's a whole there's a whole the cdc is like this whole governmental body with scientists and [ __ ] they just tell us what to do you don't have to think about it dude okay now first of all he shows like he's made this whole declaration that we have no business doing podcasts this is all he watches in this it's like five seconds obviously my point is that if you're so [ __ ] stupid then yeah you should listen to the cdc bro it's there like i don't understand this assumption that he like rednecks understand more than then doctors have spent their whole life studying ep like disease man he's googled he's googled around for 10 minutes dude yeah he's not anti-vaxxy he's just asking questions i'm getting ahead of myself let me play it you think that was rehearsed he's definitely watched it after dark seriously they're just telling you don't have to think about it dude by the way my my rule is right whatever we say always just extend the context a minute in either direction it only gets worse but he says that but he didn't show anything else we talked about i don't know it doesn't no i watched it he does it because i was like i hope he does show the context because he gets like all the basis of facts wrong but listen but like i was like dude you could have at least showed more of the cliff honestly i'm so stupid why is he questioning uh any like the cdc or fouchy yeah seriously bro you're not a doctor i don't even know i don't want to think about things bro do you [ __ ] question like let's say the the the uh god is so dumb it's like so do you go to the doctor and then he i literally can't do you go to the pharmacy and overlook their and you'll be like oh is that the right medicine you know what i'm saying like yeah there's certain people in this world that we don't need to [ __ ] that we especially when you're such a dumb ass and you don't understand how disease prevention works then you should be listening to dr fauci and the and the cdc also i mean it makes sense too so i choose to listen to it you know it's logical they're not telling me um go jump off a building and i'm like well this doesn't make sense but i'll do it anyway they're saying wear a mask during a pandemic pretty with a disease that spreads that spreads through the air like it's so it's pretty easy it's kind of logical yeah so i kind of don't have a problem listening to people who know what they're talking about when they also are making sense yeah it also makes sense people who are vaccinated and people who wear masks if you look at like taiwan and new zealand are like you know asian countries where mask wearing is is uh prevalent there's no [ __ ] disease bro everything makes sense so you don't need to question every single [ __ ] thing that comes up in your life dude i think that's part of your problems but we're just when you look at ingredients on your food do you go to the packing uh plant and and then re-examine everything he probably grows only his own food why is this homie dressed up as peter pan too his homies dressed as peter pan there's a tissue on the table he's got a gun which you know is a youth which is just like a metaphor for [ __ ] these guys fought it's got to be some sort of inside joke maybe they're shifting maybe they're shifting oh maybe they're drifting there's definitely shifting crowder wants to be the little uh never boys what are they called the lost yeah he's a lost boy for sure what people tell me and we just went through without you how he went from it occurred in nature oh no it may have happened in a lab they've been wrong so you could if you do that there are many instances where you could have made yourself very sick well yeah when do what from what from wearing a mask i'm wearing a mask yeah oh what are you doing i have so much regret that i wore yeah oh my god i worry i'm mad i can't believe i wore a master in that pandemic oh that was so [ __ ] stupid of me i should never listen to these scientists that spent their whole life studying this i got to think for myself um i get all my information from facebook groups free thinkers i don't know they always do that they always try to undermine uh fauci's uh his whole credibility because in the beginning he said don't you don't need to wear a mask and then he said you do need to wear a mask and like he changed his mind based on the situation right and they act like you can never change your [ __ ] mind on anything otherwise it proves that you're lying and that you should never listen to them he's like listen to it listen to dr fauci bro yes especially you dumbass ethan oh thank you trump can you say that what was that ethan what's that word what does that word mean ethan never heard that even how to read the name bro you think that tissue's made of paper you just trust what the what the tissue people tell you ethan you trust that coffee you're drinking you just trust sheep you could be making decisions that could impact your health forever by trusting that that's coffee i don't trust that's coffee unless like that could what could be in that coffee you don't know ethan by the way i think it's a beautiful thing when um science will change something they'll be like hey we know we know now that something is different than we knew before yeah it's a beautiful thing because they have data and they learn right it's a great thing right no but if you ever change your mind that's the one thing that's proof that there's a conspiracy and that they're idiots and that you need to think for yourself do i follow them at what point along the chain of their changing their own way every time the way i should go every single time you should always follow their advice from before and after they change their opinion and not from a facebook group that tells you that bill gates is putting a microchip in your shoulder well no sorry that's the way i share you didn't understand his last half you don't even have to think about it dude exactly it's that simple they're scientists that spent their whole [ __ ] life bro imagine you couldn't you wouldn't even have to make this video if you just didn't even think about it when people smarter than you that dedicated their whole life to scientific research you look at all the stress and strain on him that could have been prevented don't even have to think about it i agree they're just they like to think a lot i'm trying to think but nothing happens exactly when you think and nothing happens then you should listen to the cdc that's my point i was watching hassan reacted uh to this clip and he said he used he doesn't see crowder usually get this worked up so he was impressed that i got him so triggered so i thought that was kind of fun well somebody pointed out and we didn't realize it when we were talking about it last night that um i believe it was the same episode that you first mentioned what you just went into the fact that crowder had tried to get you on the show right so i have a suspicion that that is what this is really about he's butt hurt that i ghosted him out of them exactly come on bro trying to think but nothing happens you're already too far out of the prison that he said they tell you what to do you don't even have to think about it dude look that's not a good rule of thumb for anything in life but they act like man it's a gold rule i mean yeah when you're as dumb as you that can't understand [ __ ] and you're like literally becoming a biohazard you should listen to cdc bro i know that i mean what's the point of government if we don't trust these whole institutions that we've propped up funded regulated but you don't the whole society breaks down you don't have to blindly follow it even i mean yeah you can say critically about it but like about a mask it makes sense this is very straightforward this is we're not talking about like oh going and getting a second um second opinion from a second doctor chopping up your leg bro right have a big surgery to do fine of course if the advice was extreme and seeing talking about your eyebrow raising yeah i mean it's just it is common sense it's just common sense i don't think these guys should think and i stand by that the less they think the better off we all are that's true that's true i really truly believe that you know like there's so much governmental bodies that tell us what to do that we don't think about and they don't walk around with holsters food you know i trust all the science and [ __ ] that goes on does steven wear a seatbelt when he drives a car does he have steep belts for [ __ ] he probably doesn't he's got he's got a giant [ __ ] his holster has a little clip-on there you go he just everyone in here is the idiot i didn't say that but yeah people that watch this podcast is it like does it have i think it's relative yeah it's popular seriously here's how it gets i just i wanted to be on it ethan [Laughter] it's so i think it's popular i did invite him three times i begged him to come on my show i love how the dude and the big green polo is saying does he want to watch this he's the one trying to back off yeah [ __ ] peter pan ass looking [ __ ] maybe tell me you touch kids without telling me you touch kids [Laughter] his homie here maybe it's a halloween party he's peter pan uh crowder is uh indiana jones with the oh you think they're right there yeah i seem to recall seeing him in that outfit before i think maybe that's just his thing on the show yeah he hangs out at schools after work he's shifting dan come on yeah he's shifting right he's a shifter he's a shifter he's shifting to a world where it's acceptable to hang out with young boys all day i think it's relative yeah it's popular here's how i guarantee you something if there's a guy in a man and a woman i should say on one side of the desk and the woman is in a sideways hat uh everything they're saying is useless sideways hats we were wearing the [ __ ] bass pro shop hats oh because i went back i was like wait what is he talking about because i have to go back so because here you're wearing the bath pro shop but like this guy's a comedian this guy's like oh my god that's your rule bro that's a rule here's here's a rule anytime you're in a room with a dude dressed like peter pan and a dude with an animal then you're either you're either you're either [ __ ] dude to be fair we were wearing it ironically of course that's why they missed the content of literally everything and they continue yeah what happened was jorgen said why is this girl but they act like everyone in here is the idiot yeah are there any people that watch this podcast is it like yes i think it's relative yeah it's popular seriously here's how i guarantee you something if there's a guy in a man and a woman i should say on one side of the desk and the woman is in a sideways hat uh everything they're saying is useless he does not he doesn't talk like he's thought about anything in life well that's funny that you just because she went after joe rogan because apparently i think he made fun of her hat or her mask are you serious yeah what happened was jorgen said why is this girl uh she's outside and she's wearing a double mask she's like yeah i was working i love what it turns into double mask like the battle just changed yeah the fact is it was at whitney cummings party she was wearing one mask this was at the height of the pandemic when gathering was like basically illegal i think everyone in l.a everyone got tested fine but still i chose to wear a mask that's what you're supposed to do yeah your mask you just listen to the cdc you sheep you just listen to scientists a whole governmental body that spent its entire is full of people dedicated to learning about disease prevention and viruses yeah you presume to know more than them well you know yeah run the double mask because where did he get the double mask exactly he's just exaggerating because at least immediately he says if you watch if you watch it oh right these guys are so mental bro that's uh tucker saying if you see a kid wearing a mask call the poli child abuse um man yeah it turns into double he says if you watch it a minute before after it's even worse i was like then show it [ __ ] he doesn't logan because apparently i think he made fun of her hat or her mask oh something are you serious yeah what happened was jorgen said why is this girl uh she's outside and she's wearing a double mask she's like yeah i was wearing the double mask because at that time the cdc was saying even if you're fascinated you have to wear a double mask so i wore a double mask nope didn't say any of that the cdc never even said no there was no vaccine no the vaccine didn't exist when that incident happened no i know i'm just saying every single detail yeah exactly yeah he misses every single detail what happened was jorgen said why is this girl uh she's outside and she's wearing a double mask he's like yeah i was wearing the double mask because at that time the cdc was saying even if you're faster than me he literally you know this was his favorite clip this was his favorite clip of the entire year and yeah he didn't even watch it [ __ ] awesome you're gonna need one of those tissues that may have been from a bit or something the tissue well just bro he said the thing about the hat i don't want to make the same mistake you know what i mean [Music] super high level thinking well at least i'm watching the part that's relevant to what true he's i watched the whole segment about it right that's not true dan i'm watching the whole [ __ ] segment if his homie happens to be dressed as peter pan and he's got jerk off tissues on the clip that's fair game for me right because i'm watching the whole damn thing fair enough thank you get me fired up here think about it dude i wear double hat both sides imagine look imagine if who who is my accent yeah for sure wow why does this guy even have like this guy's supposed to be a comedian you're not enemy number one you're like you're foreign and you're a woman yeah right exactly and you're outspoken and you have a sideways hat right right i made it to america his ass is canadians what the [ __ ] he sucking his ass was foreign yeah right i saw a lot of comments uh earlier from our canadian fans saying we do not claim him so we want him i don't want them yeah we don't well [ __ ] i don't know what to do with them texas is like yeah that's our boy powder no i love uh every canadian person that i met so i don't i don't hold it against you guys except him yeah accept it that was applied uh any i mean that's exactly mao is china yeah dude this is when he goes like so off the rails i'm not even following his logic how is china he goes from ila wearing a mask a double mask while she's vaccinated right which none of that is true but he goes to either wearing a mask during a pandemic with the airborne virus and listening to the cdc to maoist china ussr i mean but that is what that's what in other words the government would come in and try and recondition you that's exactly what this is you may hear things that speak out against government but you are not to listen to them hey listen i don't even want to think about it dude what is he hi i mean it always comes down to your communist for wanting to wear a mask okay he's saying that he's using the cdc of what are you saying like your your mentality of listening to the government is is what happens in a totalitarian communist state i was just saying that it's a bit of a stretch to say it's aware of math bro yeah during during a pandemic and with an airborne virus yeah what the [ __ ] again it does how many people were dying a day at the peak during around that time it was like it was like ten thousand people would destroy something yeah i mean a lot [ __ ] crazy bro it's like i don't know if you guys have seen the data but like in for example southern california and new york and stuff like that where people are getting the vaccine a lot the kovid numbers are like dropping to almost nothing but if you go to parts of the community where people are hesitant and not getting the vaccine covet is is spiking in those communities people are getting sick the virus is still spreading and in l.a it's like gone there's like no [ __ ] virus here anymore guess why because vaccines work wow it was the same thing of masks too i mean the data was just so obvious but somehow that's me uh that's maoist china by the way we've experienced it ourselves we've been around people that had it and while we were wearing a mask we didn't catch it so right had some close calls it's like i'm i i i i do follow the guidelines but it also makes sense that's the body and you had yeah and you had if you have half a brain well that's why you're even saying that because it's like when did the cdc ask anybody to like chop off an arm to prevent you know what i'm saying like they're not asking you to do crazy [ __ ] they literally said wear a mask and keep six feet apart from people is that really filling into like a little bit yes it's so little to ask stephen it's not maoist china bro we don't need slight presentation i'm not from russia well he i guess he's he's trying to do that yeah russia russians are communists vladimir putin i don't know if he was making don't let him hear you say vladimir putin he'll know vladimir putin i've never heard of russia who's the leader of russia vladimir perfect pronunciation exactly it's great they just said don't think in so many words yeah we including the words don't and think this guy's joke don't hit he doesn't hit he's never i don't even understand you don't say okay well listen we're going to take your crops now and uh good luck with the weight loss okay listen what it's just wearing a mask bro it's not stealing your crops you know no you want to think you don't even have to think about it dude and they're the guys also last i checked like i mean american democracy has like in terms i mean we're not in russia doug why are you so skeptical about this country he's apparently this great patriot but he's so skeptical he's like of the institution of his own country that he's comparing the cdc to [ __ ] russians stealing food from peasants yeah you know when this party happened and eli was following the guidelines and everything uh donald trump was president and this was his administration's advice that he was following like this is his guy right you know it's not impossible it's not communism dude donald trump's vaccinated you got that real quick you got those stem cell babies shot right into his [ __ ] eyeballs you know what i mean donald trump knows kovitz real people you know those people were let's say you make a self-deprecating joke yes and then you say something like i meant to do that and then there's that girl i think she's really clever she's like yeah right like no he didn't it's like oh you caught something this is what that is like you don't even have to think about it what is this analogy i literally i'm not [ __ ] following him he's getting this like he's getting so worked up yeah and you can tell us homie is not it's just nice and then you say something like i meant to do that and then there's that girl thing she's really clever she's like yeah right oh my goodness oh you caught something this is what that is like you don't have to think about it dude people out there are thinking why if a few people [Laughter] you know 25 speed let's get nice and close oh no oh no gets nice and juicy lips lick [Music] anyway now listen to peter pan this this one makes even less sense than everything else they've been saying a lot more european jews alive a lot more russians alive a lot more cambodians alive a lot more chinese alive they've all been massacred because people didn't think about it okay why holocaust just people didn't think about it the reason the holocaust happened is because people didn't think about it dude i can't even process who didn't think about it the jews people you're not following you're not following what you're saying the whole pot cambodia millions of people dead people didn't think about it dude what didn't they think about i'm pretty sure there was plenty of people thinking about how [ __ ] up it was and had no power to control their destiny no like imagine the jews on the train to auschwitz is he trying to say like that the nazi soldiers were just following orders that's the only logical explanation i guess that okay that's a better explanation than it it's the jew's fault because they just didn't think about it well it's like oh either all right i guess i'll just get on this train i won't think about it this is awesome dude yeah right this rules putting on i'm just going to dig this ditch while my whole family starves to death this rules russians alive a lot more cambodians alive a lot more chinese alive they've all been massacred because people didn't think about it okay hey han let's do a podcast where we people didn't think let's listen to that things that we don't think about you know what this guy is he's like a [ __ ] thrift store pat in he looks just like him but he's just dude not i see it it's just damn okay so here's another hot take from from dollar store pounds where we talk about things that we don't think about yeah isn't that your podcast got him you didn't think much about the clip you didn't even watch it bro you know what let's just let's just not think and broadcast what could go wrong hey follow us on instagram by the way follow me on instagram uh because uh look at this [ __ ] dude he's such beta energy with the [ __ ] cigar the holster all these dudes the cigar thing is just the overcompensation it's real is this guy trying to dress like marty mcfly or is that actually an outfit he wears like you know that he has to be trying because that is actually that's literally mario okay dude he wears a cigar he's so alpha bro so sick it's so [ __ ] manly to just have a big brown turd in your mouth all the time dude and a holster man this guy thinks about everything yeah we have a lot about to talk about crowder though yeah um we have our caller who's been on hold for a while we should um should charge forward into the uh the whole lawsuit thing oh she's been on hold okay i didn't know that emily is actually uh emily baker who called him previously she's our legal correspondent um because crowder is suing youtube apparently for demonetizing him let's see let me pull this up real quick he claims he's suing both uh youtube and facebook um okay good luck yeah the the facebook lawsuit was announced in february and then he just announced uh a week or two ago a lawsuit against youtube here he says crowder llc uh through its lawyers gave a legal notice to youtube of the intent to file a lawsuit and sync an injunction here let's watch this filed a notice of a lawsuit can get emily ready and are seeking an injunction uh to prevent them to stop them from currently de-platforming us i want to be really clear this is different from bro you can so he can upload so the claim of the platform is right i mean on i think he was locked out of uploading for a time but yeah i think at the moment he can it's just that if he gets another strike he'll be completely banned from the platform and so he's out of an abundance of caution not uploading got it that's a good idea i mean i've seen his content right i mean the one about me was bordering on covet misinformation kind like he was flirting with it sure yeah claims encounter claims or people thinking that their content is being throttled we've officially sent a notice of a lawsuit a very different level this is the big one boys and girls uh nz's first off we were demonetized in the new year uh then we had uh a hard strike that didn't count as a heart strike but was like a warning hard strike right then we had an actual heart strike and we just had a second hard strike on our channel so we'll go through what all those are the most recent one is is absurd uh admittedly it's not even a violation in and of itself of any policy we'll tell you exactly like bro all i did was do a mock murdering of george floyd like and why wouldn't youtube allow want that from what do you think about all this from what i could tell the the mock murdering of george floyd uh wasn't one of the strengths yeah which is you're right i just think pretty surprising i just think it's funny that he did that emily what do you think about this one i am merit hey everybody good to see you guys again i think that he well he hasn't filed a lawsuit yet so we don't know exactly what claims he's going to be bringing against youtube he said notice of a lawsuit and he also said these aren't claims or counter claims i think they sent a demand letter to youtube and are asking or threatening that they're going to file for an injunction to not further demonetize his channel or not further strike his channel but i found his lawsuit against facebook filed by the same attorney in the central district of texas but there's no suit filed against youtube there or google or alphabet so nothing's been filed i think this is just a demand letter when he says notice of lawsuit so a demand letter is typically hey i think you did this you suck if you don't do these things with me or settle or resolve in this way then i'm going to sue you and normally lawyers will attach a copy of the lawsuit to show that they're way [ __ ] serious about it and just be like this is what we're going to sue you with if you don't work with us on what we're asking for so i think we're at the demand letter stage i don't think there's been a lawsuit filed we haven't seen that what's the purpose of a demand i mean it seems like if you really want to sue someone you would just sue them why [ __ ] and like youtube is youtube's going to throw his demand letter in the garbage probably right i mean i can't it depends on what he says i can't imagine that they won't youtube has tons of lawsuits going on at any given time through you know google and alphabet and currently has a lawsuit going on about not enforcing their own their own policies with regard to malicious dcma takedowns which i think is hilarious um or dmca i always get the letters flipped but youtube could work with him and say hey we can explain our policy to you and then you don't have to sue us if he's looking for more transparency and for him if he's looking to immediately not get his channel taken down he might not want to go through years of litigation you guys know how long that can take to actually get a resolution he might hope that youtube will see the uh i don't know the pressure that he's trying to put on them by announcing this and trying to rally the troops if you will behind him and maybe work with him because of that i don't know if they're likely to acquiesce youtube's been pretty stalwart in their policies particularly their creator code of conduct and they've banged david dobrik over it and they've banged james charles over it so if they're demonetizing him because of creator code of conduct i don't know what he's going to say about that i mean yeah like legally it's interesting because it seems like he's saying that a private company shouldn't be able to to enforce their rule like what what exactly i'm again there's no actual complaint so we can only speculate but it seems that his argument is like i have the freedom i have free speech and you are infringing on my free speech and the thing that's interesting about youtube is youtube still is a private entity so we're going to see a lot of these arguments over the coming years pushed about whether youtube is actually discriminating on its platform if they are not really a private company if they're more of a platform like a utility or like a common carrier and we're seeing people try to figure out what youtube is really but youtube has the right to not allow people on their platform at this point and we see actually both political parties trying to figure out what to do with social media in different ways to because they are not liking different results with social media being able to silence people as they perceive it to be but at the end of the day youtube has to protect other creators and so i get youtube's argument like look if you're making the platform a mess and advertisers don't want to advertise with you like adpocalypse then it hurts creators like y'all and like me and so if one creator is causing a problems on the platform or problems for the platform as creators is it something where we're like yes all creators should have a voice everyone should be able to say whatever they want on youtube and i don't care if advertisers don't want to be on the platform anymore or is it hey this company has to protect what we're monetizing because others have actually built their businesses here too so youtube's in an interesting position with that and i'm not sure exactly what they demonetized him over i know he's said some things that are quite out out in a field um he's done some things on his channel that are out in the field i generally lean towards letting people say what they want and letting the audience decide if they watch it or not but at the end of the day youtube's a company and they do have policies i think you're right though we aren't going towards interesting terrain because it's like it's like on the right they're super pro business and against regulations so it's like this is the result of that and then i feel like it makes sense to regulate tech companies because they're turning into more utility it's more of a utility let's be honest then uh you know and then there's also rules like on facebook and youtube where they're not publishers right they can't be held liable for what people post so there's like all these uh carve outs for them i feel yeah it's gotten you're absolutely right ethan it's gotten to a really interesting place where because of section 230 the platforms can't be sued so there's this protection that they have and people are trying to get around that protection and trying to figure out how they can sue platforms because if you want to free market it it's like okay youtube's a private business do what you want and then if you screw somebody over they can sue you and say you're discriminating against me but right now with some of their protections they it's not as easy to do that probably pulling into this letter of demand saying hey we're going to seek an injunction not claims against you but an injunction to stop you from doing this to me and which just seems to be what crowder is seeking in his you know notice of lawsuit to them but with that 230 protection the right it's really strange to me because they're very pro-business and less regulation but want to more heavily regulate what social media can do so there's this weird flipping of general ideology which never sits well with me i'm like if your ideology has let people do it then let people do it and sometimes you don't like the results it's it's just ironic because on the left people who have always been trying to regulate uh social medias to agree and then all of a sudden it's like yeah we've been saying that for years but all of a sudden ironically now you want to now you want to regulate what they can do interesting it's very interesting and i i think you're right sorry i totally cut you off no it's just it's ironic that all of a sudden when it's not going for him he wants to regulate them and it's a huge liberal conspiracy and not just him being a douchebag but hey that's just one guy's opinion i think we're going to see some interesting things happen with how government treats social media because there is this is there room for discrimination on platforms can they say hey we don't like what you say how you say it who you are saying it and is that a problem for all creators and i think so um we want to have all kinds of voices we don't want to live in an echo chamber and if people say horrible stuff then they generally get held accountable for that um with regards to audience but youtube at the end of the day is going to try to keep the platform friendly to advertising and we've got to keep that goal in mind so if a content creator like crowder is going to just put you know brand deals on his content does he really need to be monetized i you can still run brand deals if you can still upload videos yeah definitely and i'm sure there's a mypillow ad waiting for him oh god my pillow money's crazy yeah or some gut and gun holster company or something [Laughter] maybe that's what's with the holster how are you okay integration you've been good we're good i mean we've we've had an interesting week my parents are in town my my son broke his shoulder so you know parent life how are you guys doing good good good our son fell out of his crib he didn't break his children he just came along look boy life both of my kids have broken their arms twice so i'm hoping that we're at the end of it but they if you let them do stuff sometimes they fall yeah sure well emily thank you for calling in as usual we value your perspective yeah emily d baker on youtube everywhere emily d baker everywhere yep great to see you both thank you thank you [Applause] [Music] so to paraphrase crowder's a giant d-bag oh should we go over all this other stuff because we have like a whole [ __ ] dossier on this idiot uh yeah i don't know we had kind of been toying with this idea and i gotta say i'm seeing a lot of comments in the chat i'm seeing a lot of favorite requests if you could if you could pick one of these to watch which one should i watch or should i uh of of the cringe um you know what's funny the one where he has the quartering on is pretty funny just because it's hilarious that he thinks the quartering is somebody worth having on his [ __ ] corridor but i don't know maybe we should save it maybe we should save it i just peed in my basement just ripped a fat one did you yeah that was [ __ ] super loud holy [ __ ] i get really good because theodore loves it oh well if you do it for yourself so [ __ ] amused when i fart loud like the best part of his day yeah i'm excited to sound about it and then he goes more like i could fart on command that's pretty cute oh stinky i'm sorry we've been talking we've been talking about crowder for long enough yeah yeah okay we'll do a crowder content card that'd be fun uh i'll just this is this is uh not gonna make sense to a lot of people but just because i feel like there's a decent chance steven crowder will see this and this will be the only time that i get to say this debate sam cedar dude stop being such a [ __ ] i know that your dad doesn't want you to uh and you know but that was a long time ago that was three you're you're three years older now it's time it's time to debate sam so do you want to give some context to that dan he uh there's a political uh uh youtube channel called the majority report and the host sam cedar uh is one of those like like stephen crowder he's a guy who likes to debate and they had scheduled a debate at a big political convention uh called politicon uh that they you know it was all like arranged and it was settled and everything and um sam got a call which he recorded and played on his show which is what makes it so good so we can validate this story um where they explained that steven had backed out and had gotten cold feet which earned him a nickname cold feet crowder go to any of his tweets on twitter is just to this day it's full of that uh and um and uh yeah and then they revealed that it was that his like handler his agent is basically his dad and his dad called them and was like he can't do it so why did he why probably because he knew he was good because sam cedar isn't yeah he's not a [ __ ] 19 year old college student he actually knows what he's talking about yeah he was going to get embarrassed and um his daddy said no yeah his dad said no he's daddy's looking out for him so um daddy do you like my holster does it make me look big and tough so i don't know i never thought i would get the opportunity to send a message directly to crowder and so i'm using this opportunity to say daddy debate sam cedar please [ __ ] owned good [ __ ] dan he's going to get two more holsters on his legs now daddy daddy do you like my holsters i'm going to get a new holster that you like so i can look masculine and you'll be proud of me daddy is it okay if i invite ethan on my show daddy he had the he had to put that invitation through with daddy first daddy daddy anyway that's about it you guys are all these guys are all grifters though so easy to be a conservative on youtube you just say like the most obvious [ __ ] black people deserve to be black people are violent criminals there's no such thing as systemic racism well it's not that easy apparently this channel might get determinated right it's risky business but they love that too they get to be the victims of it isn't real dr fauci eats babies apparently every victory i should do man i should start like a cold bear report i miss that show or i just do like a i should make a character that's just a fake conservative do we like that we hate that oh this i mean i i loved the colbert report back in the day um i don't know i don't know if that works in this i think youtube will ban me immediately the thing is is that it's all predicated on satire and satire is just it's kind of just a dead art form in the world we live in i'll be getting exposed every day ethan clyne says dr fauci eats babies we got what we got what we got what we got i texted the doctor [Laughter] do we have confirmation read it read it verbatim i texted her i said i did the blast test today and waiting to hear the results do you know if it's ready and she said 3.92 i have no idea what that number means but she was like exclamation mark you are super pregnant i told you i knew it yes oh wow oh my god amazing it worked super pregnant not just pregnant super pregnant shredder come here mommy's super pregnant i knew it when i put that load sorry [Music] oh what do we got here oh what are you [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] all right let's let's [ __ ] kill that baby jesus oh what we got some fancy [ __ ] yeah it's a good champagne i got you we were supposed to do a toast for the new office too i'm so excited congratulations guys that's so amazing we just got the news yeah i thought i might as well try to text her because i know the show is like about to end well i wasn't sure if she went out there that was the original title i oh that's so great you know it was getting so frustrated cheers by the way cheers guys and cheers everyone in the chat thank you guys thank you everyone for all the really nice [Music] that's crazy it worked you know um we're trying and trying and the few the fertility stuff is so brutal i'm stabbing her in the stomach injecting her oh my god i hate it so much it's kind of awesome though because you they made you have your period early because we went to vegas and it worked not period though obviously yeah yeah they give you like a trigger shot and then it and then you ovulate i don't know now we have to see if you have twins or triplets wait so is this a vegas baby no no no no it was before vegas okay but it was right before like we left the next day no they yeah it was at the doctor's office right right right well we did it the night before so it could have been that one too i felt good about that one too or like you guys before right so i was i was having a good feeling about that one as well you know because i was i'm going to take the whole credit i'm trying to take off exercising and i was like i feel powerful oh and you know what me too i i actually started to like eat um better and um i'm trying to make sure that i eat a lot of protein because i'm not a meat person so i'm like i gotta eat beans and lentils and mexican things like this that's the one we can discuss it sounds like you're describing mexican so i feel like i've been taking good care of myself too that's so amazing that's such great news we did it i'm so real i'm so relieved and happy that it worked because you always get like oh is this gonna happen nothing's gonna happen we tried it the first time it didn't work this time it worked wow she's got a good job she gets to give people good news all the time or bad news i guess sometimes but how bad i mean okay let's not go there [Laughter] [Music] wow well where do you go from there i guess that's the show right theodore's gonna be a big brother now yeah and shredder it's on theater's birthday that we he's gonna find out he's a big bro oh that's cute so that means the baby will be born in march right i was doing the math the other day that's it yeah because it's um it's what is it it's may almost june june july august september october november december january february oh so like february i guess february march it's not also it's weird but like by the time you're pregnant it's already like the first time right it's already like the first month right by the time you find out so it's not really nine more you're right so it's then it's in february or january february january baby a winter baby winter is coming baby oh a valentine's baby valentine's baby oh love has cut to me love cheers buddy cheers cheers guys cheers congratulations thank you love you oh that's so exciting oh my god that's crazy you did it you're the best that's so crazy you did it dude you got a baby in you you're super pregnant so then we gotta find out the gender if there's a bunch of them oh god it's so crazy well i gotta call my mom right yeah we gotta make some calls and stuff now all right not just pregnant you're super pregnant so why is that stick not plain us dirty if you're so pregnant yeah whatever it does i i hate all those tests i hate it so when you guys were saying it earlier i mean i don't know it's the hive mind of the chat but when you said that you had a faint thing yeah the chat was going crazy everybody was saying that's pregnant that's what i thought i was like that's pregnant i don't know because it doesn't just show up it doesn't just show up because last time last time when we were when we did the test and the first pregnancy it was just positive you know it wasn't like a faint line i thought you had faint the day before and then we took it in the morning and it was positive yes but this time it was still faint yeah you did like four faints yeah but i was like that means you're pregnant you're definitely pregnant oh that's great that's crazy amazing let's [ __ ] go all right the family is increasing watch out world why are you holding your stomach oh well i'll tell you guys i am not family i'm already nine months pregnant yo and i'll tell you guys right now i am starting next week training five days a week i'm sorry not wake up in the morning you're going for it monday through friday training i'm sick of this [ __ ] and i refuse to get gain even more weight baby because when you're pregnant i know i'm going to eat with you and it's going to be awesome and i need i want that in my life so i'm just going to exercise a lot and i'm going to eat like a monster with you my love and also not and also i'm going to lose weight at the same time that's great man that's good energy money baby we love that for you i might have to leave my money trainer though because he's not available in the morning dude that's not money i i like nobody at all it's not it's not money but i can't [ __ ] you know what i mean i got to do what i got to do there's not very cash money of him i'll i'll tell my next trainer to tell me money when i'm doing good all right you ready for the nine months build up yes i'm ready the nine month build up was nice i felt or the i guess the very end got the very end is really difficult but the good news is when you give birth it's going to be easier this time it will be easier yeah it's like a five-hour ordeal last time it was like 48 hours or 24 hours you mean from contractions too and yeah you like show up and you just give birth apparently mm-hmm it's crazy that's what they said i was like great that's something awesome yeah the first time was really a very intense experience they weren't they really want us to culturation do you want to do that on air or not call trisha to tell them the news should i call i mean no one no we want to yeah yeah more privately we're actually having the family over oh yeah everybody's coming over this weekend for theodore's birthday baby we can tell them we're gonna do on the weekend and then we're having another party for his birthday next weekend and in between we're going to disneyland is going to be [ __ ] all have a good weekend see you next week [Music] [Applause] [Music] you're watching h233 you're watching h233 you're watching h23 ammo [Music] you

Channel: H3 Podcast

Views: 2,212,791

Keywords: h3h3, h3, h3 after dark, h3h3productions, ethan klein, hila klein, ethan and hila, ethan & hila, after dark

Id: BUHxXNxEUYc

Length: 167min 50sec (10070 seconds)

Published: Fri May 28 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/HumicShit]

When their new kid is eventually going to look up the moment their parents found out they were pregnant with them, they’re going to see mom try to run dad over with the Gatsby and dad make up Harry Potter fanfiction about Hagrid’s magic cock.

[u/heavybootsonmythroat]

Ethan's face when he read that text, dayum. Pure joy

[u/TFA_Daryl]

Frenemies, Off The Rails and After Dark all this week were perfect. All good vibes, goofs and gaffs. And the good news at the end of After Dark. I’m so happy for them.

[u/DrSillyBitchez]

How much y’all wanna bet Trisha comes in Monday talking about how she shifted over the weekend and became friends with Adam Sandler

[u/NoIdeaNoPlan]

Ethan: ''...Dr. Fauci eats Baaabies''

Next second: ''HILA IS SUPER PREGNANT''

[u/narutonaruto]

I gotta say the addition of the Love machine over Dan’s shoulder is one of my favorite things they’ve done

[u/MotherHolle]

The After Dark background looks great now that they darkened it a bit.

Ethan's fan fic about the magical cock meat got me during the Hagrid part, but I was on the verge of death when he did it again with Dumbledore. I'm not sure I have ever laughed that hard.

[u/LaPuissanceDuYaourt]

Ethan’s Harry Potter fantasies combined with Zach’s sound drops were gold.

[u/ahh_geez_rick]

That part where Steven "I love drinking dog cum" Crowder makes fun of Hila's accent had me highly pissed off. He's such an ignorant, unfunny cunt.