Using ridiculous methods to combat trivial crimes

hey there friends how's it going today we're playing police simulator patrol officers i just find the name funny i also find it funny that every time i hit escape a new police officer comes out and is like hey what's going on here huh i've played games like this before i'm pretty sure i've played the the one that preceded it because here we've police simulator patrol officers but i've played police similar patrol duty so i'm guessing they're the same but i don't know all right let's get started with my career it seems like they've gone out of the way to be multicultural here but yet they ignored us the pale the most downtrodden all right frank i'll be you whoever you're married to is gonna get a shock when you start acting so weird all of a sudden pick a district well you're not letting me i'm trying to go downtown but no i have to go to the melting pot oh jesus what kind of view is this why am i looking at you from here and why is the framing so off okay up we get oh that motion blur is something else i'm stuck what does that do using your own risk yeah go for it oh i'm outside now great oh that was scary i was like maybe i can frame them from manslaughter and then i'll get my first case well i'll be dead but someone will get to solve the case and i'll be involved so we're all happy why is motion blur under advanced like it's got so much motion blur i feel like i'm going to get sick there we go that's better why can i not run through this car wait a second what's that last car that knocked me down a ghost i'm just waiting for one of those npcs to walk over and say i haven't seen a blue suv in these parts for 50 years anyway let's stop blocking traffic wait a second you shouldn't be driving that get out okay that apparently is police brutality now they think about it a smashed windscreen probably doesn't deserve the death penalty but it's just teething problems you know it's it's a rookie mistake everyone does it it's like a rite of passage all right let's try that again and then this time we'll issue parking tickets instead of opening fire on people with broken windscreens oh oh what have we got here i'm not even gonna look no parking 12 noon what time is it i guess i could wait until noon and then i could just give him a ticket wait i can issue a parking oh wait a fire hydrant okay tow it can you send a record to my current location oh yes a wrecker now that is what i'm talking about i'm gonna do it to the next one too oh here he comes there's gonna be a queue with them coming down the road i'll perfect sake they're gonna think he's a sound board how many wreckers does the city have look at them all there goes one car that woman just jaywalked can you send a wrecker to my location what woman are you talking about i didn't see any woman jaywalking ah there you go thank you for the big red arrow it's like a youtube thumbnail i don't know where to look myself i've detained you because i saw you jaywalking it seems a little over the top oh no she is avoiding eye contact i don't think so she's piercing my soul and her story was pretty convincing this civilian is showing signs of strange behavior i mean all the npcs are looking a bit strange you're now allowed to frisk i mean i'm not sure that'll help i'm going after for jaywalking can i just handcuff her i'm just gonna give her a ticket i can see the wreckers in the background just taking cars away look just be glad you weren't taken away on a record i'm giving her another ticket we're winning my day hey don't talk back that's another ticket i've given her three tickets i didn't expect it to be that expensive wait why not you just i got two tickets for the same thing that's so much money yeah to be fair like i did give you a lot i understand where you're coming from anyway goodbye oh oh what did that person do they just littered she looks really sad oh no all right a verbal warning for you the other woman is just like what she seems really happy oh that's nice i'm doing my job aren't i just protecting the people what you lost all conduct points and even fired just because i sent a few records i just wanted to see how many i could get on one street i called like eight of them oh wait i can take a day off okay each week you can request up the two new shifts by taking a day off okay this time rather than call 17 records i'm going to actually issue tickets i stopped you because you match a description what oh oh god what am i doing you've got the wrong person i know i have the wrong person but i don't know if i've committed now at this point handcuffed for illegal weapon possession carrying a switchblade i have to arrest you for carrying a switchblade she's just like what the hell are you talking about you should call for arrest transport no i gotta go get some parking tickets sorted she's just standing there looking at me run off in the distance gonna stare at her now for a bit of eye contact you know assert dominance and off we go there's gotta be someone is this parking meter up valid no okay there's gotta be someone come on illegal parking is cool you should do it come on valid i don't know why they're even parking there because then there's some parking spots just like here where you can just park for free but i guess you just prefer to pay the city you pay my salary with these kind of things which you're definitely going to regret oh yes expired okay here we go parking ticket parking meter expired yes here we go i'm doing something right i only got 10 points i lost 10 points for handcuffing that lady for no reason oh another one all right i can build up some credit so i can handcuff the innocent okay this is the naughty street this is three cars in a row [Laughter] frisk yeah why not just morph right through you're allowed to carry up to an ounce of cannabis in brighton how much do you have 0.75 ounce well 420 blaze it enjoy here you go officer i'm surprised you can hear me with your airpods in she's like i'm surprised you can see me with this map in the way what's he doing it's like hey would you like to see my mime act have a nice day goodbye that was good social that was a good talk plus through the glass like it really represents the real world you gotta keep up that protective screen oh hey lady i did a full walk around the block she's still here and talk to this one next to her do a little search no items could be found okay let go have a nice day goodbye wait i got minus five for that just i may as well handcuff them at that point i get minus ten for falsely handcuffing the minus five for falsely frisking them like i may as well go the whole way at that point at least they get the personal satisfaction i wonder if i could call the wrecker for the cars like in the parking lot i'm not sure how it would get in here let me try expired license plate oh my god an actual valid reason to call someone that's not a location that's easy to reach oh come on you're not gonna drive in i wanted to see it come in here and be all janky and drive up next to it and just crash the game i shouldn't have skipped that prompt about expired license plate because i have no idea how he figured that out oh the twin builders over here are immune i can't get to them i can talk through a bus stop but i can't talk to you over this fence facing wrong direction that's a crime what i didn't know that position and alignment i guess wrong direction there you go i'm a big fan of one direction the story of my life corruption something the person just pulls up like are you even a real cop or are you one of those stripper cops you seem to be a little bit unhinged at which point i would open fire of course that woman just littered what woman what what woman just littered and how does he know this he just had some sort of sense that someone has littered but i can't find anyone who is littered someone's jaywalking the worst crime of all but again where how are you detecting this if it was over here it's out of my jurisdiction i can't go into this zone apparently yeah oh i've left my assigned area i should return or i might get fired like jesus if you do any jaywalking make sure to just walk 10 meters up the street to get out of the jurisdiction oh not stopping on a crosswalk i can't catch up no the one person who actually did something dangerous and i'm just like guess i'll let him go can i end my shift i feel like i've done enough parking tickets oh oh wait that man just littered hold on hold on hold on wait i said hold on i said hold on stop resisting there we go what did you do oh yeah you littered see that you monster i have to issue you a ticket for littering why does it cost so much i i assume you mean your health because you probably got quite hurt when you fell there rather than the money what the why do you have two stilettos and two switchblades are you gonna try and combine them and make some sort of bond villain weapon all right you're going to jail now young man you're a terrible terror you're a terrible speaker call arrest transport i don't know why because the jail is literally next to me like this is the police station hey i'm outside i need a transport to go uh inside a man just littered i'm here to take the suspect into custody quick i got another one over there and i don't want him to leave the area i'm ready in case he tries to run i don't know do i need to supervise this i i gotta go where is this littering man i think it was this dude but i'm not sure i i saw the arrow and his pants were all funky i know that much the bin was right there too animal oh my god why is everyone carrying knives around please please no no oh no that was so creepy i didn't like that like i feel like the delivery was creepy in itself but the double speak is just too much wait what you lost all contact points why am i losing conduct points they had a blade what i don't understand i surely that deserves to be arrested right am i a bad cop no it's the game that's wrong all right i should probably stop using the stun gun so i'm just going to fire off a warning shot into the sky just to let everyone in the neighborhood know this new cop in town is serious this guy gets me yeah spread the word spread the word everyone yeah there you go spread the i didn't even shoot him i shot near him i shot in his aura i didn't shoot him all right this day is the day that i do well she's like all right what's that supposed to mean well i've been fired four days in a row from separate departments because well police brutality and all that but today is different have a nice day there we go i'm just greeting the people now oh oh okay the npcs don't like that they don't like when i'm friendly either do you think arresting the people with switchblades just went too far like i know i went too far on every aspect but i failed on that one and i thought i was actually doing good maybe i should have just given them a fine oh can i climb the building oh i can't i wanted to be like asylum protector over the town excuse me you apparently littered why does it cost so much why do you all have the same voice justified littering ticket there we go that's more like it oh and look at this i'm doing great today wait it's illegally parked on the sidewalk oh i can give it two tickets then hold on i didn't kind of notice that but i thought it just spawned in wrong to be honest with you i'm giving you a ticket for spawning wrong position and alignment on sidewalk there you go two tickets also can i give you a ticket for just like ugly car is that an option out of the way emergency really got myself killed i gotta check that parking meter i'm on naughty street after all okay this position in alignment must be off like it's way too far on the street this is justified texting and walking i'm gonna open fire that is also justified no wait i shouldn't i gotta stop failing at life jesus like hell this city is wild i feel like i should be stopping these drivers a woman just jaywalked what no she didn't all right you know what fine i watched her use the sidewalk it was the drivers that were in the wrong but it issue violation if the big red arrow says you've done something wrong you've done something wrong she looks really sad well life is sad sometimes did she wink at me hold on a second i'll have you know my person is a happily married man hold on you're being detained wait she's fleeing what the sh no stop it hold on she's like i've seen what you've done i'm not stopping all right do i actually have to use my taser because i didn't want to use it today i know this area like the back of my hand so you're not getting away oh god she took a left what the hell okay wait wait oh hold on hold on hold on make it easy on me there we go how do i say like handcuffed because you ran away i'll just try searching again they have to have something cause why else would you run off like that a switchblade see i knew it there we go see it said it's an arrestable defense so let's do this please don't be telling her to put her arms out she's handcuffed for god's sake okay so i've 60 sp points and 70 cp points i don't even know what that means but we're gonna wait and see unjustified search of person i lost points for that that makes sense unjustified handcuffing they ran away like unjustified arrest transport request i don't understand maybe it was just because i started searching for no reason maybe that's what set this whole thing off i think you littered or something i know something popped up but i was busy complaining so i'm just going to give you a ticket she sounds angry well that's your own fault don't throw on the ground oh i was wrong actually you did you didn't throw on the ground sorry you know what my new plan is to wait near cars that says no parking between 12 and 4 and at 12 i'll just start towing in fact i can tell you now you're on the sidewalk you're only an inch on the sidewalk and if anything you're just clearing away from traffic but not in my city look at this another one on the sidewalk absolute monsters like seriously have you no dignity my cop is such a busy body like there's no need for this i saw you littering young man stop it there you go so much money it's fine have a nice day the reaction to him just saying so much money and complaining and i'm like i've decided it's fine okay here we go no parking in three minutes i'm waiting in one minute this parking is going to be illegal right noon 1201 okay great there we go no parking area there's a ticket actually should i get a toad i feel like i should get a towed wait why unjustified torture call i disagree what what the hell is that alert i'm confused enough already by the game i don't need confusing prompts messing me up are you jaywalking does this count as jaywalking not quite on the crosswalk ah i think that's justified as taser but i'm gonna be careful because i'm all oh now that oh no no no no don't escape oh he nearly got out of the zone okay issue violation littering ticket why does it cost so much why does everyone in this city litter and why does everyone sound like that like i'm making the city a bomb with all the money i'm getting from these tickets oh wait i already gave this one a ticket oh wait but the thing is expired in the meantime i can give them another ticket wait was it expired originally it was is there anything else they can ticket them for um i mean now they're in the no parking zone i'm gonna try calling the tow truck no that doesn't justify it apparently okay i am never calling the wrecker ever again that is a lie i know as i'm saying it i'm gonna call the record at some point but i'm gonna try and avoid it is what i'm saying like the signs are spammed everywhere i don't understand why we're just ignoring them in this city it is not wednesday my dudes why put them up if we're not gonna enforce it oh come on that deserves to be told right i've got a car here yes okay finally i like i was just saying i'm gonna resist calling the wrecker and then i immediately go yeah that's a record but look it's justified for once yes take me away i want to be put in the record come on kill me oh i didn't go with it it's sad all right you know what i think that's about as good as i can do in one day i'm just gonna stand here idle until my shift ends all right uh the traffic is backed up for miles but my shift has ended she's like really you leave one car go after about 17 hours even the npcs are bugging out walking they can't make sense of what's going on jesus that is a lot of traffic anyway wait hold on a second oh you're just indicating to get into that lane i see all right i'm gonna end the day now it turns out once it gets to the end of my shift time just freezes otherwise i'm pretty sure weeks would have passed i went away for longer than i thought there we go do i get a medal or anything a huge cash bonus for all the work i've done i get 69 xp all right fine uh sake you can't take a day off you already took two days off my job sucks wait i don't feel like a day even passed he just sat down and stood up again and it looks the exact same outside all right you know what i'm gonna speed run parking tickets oh my god what is wrong with that woman all right ignoring that i'm going to continue just wait it does need towing a while ago you said that was fine because the windscreen is smashed but now you're saying it's not fine i just want to get as many tickets issued as i can in a short time frame just so i can get that promotion there you go ticket wait what do you mean what what it's expired i someone in the chain of command hates me and it's just giving me minus for no reason okay finally one actually worked jesus like i feel like i'm doing my job right for once and they're screwing me over i don't understand this jaywalking thing because well we don't have that rule in ireland as far as i'm aware otherwise i am one of the most dangerous criminals in ireland but i don't really understand the rules like she's walking across the sidewalk and it's saying that she's jaywalking but you know what fekit i may not understand it but i'm still going to enforce it i don't know why it says she looks really sad like i don't know why this game is trying to guilt me i think i already gave you a ticket yeah i did but you know what you're still too far into the street you're getting double ticket okay that no i shouldn't have done that okay i need to take this more seriously i need to get a promotion oh look at this you absolute monster all right you get a ticket i don't know if that's too far into the street that seems like kind of reasonable but i'm gonna do it anyway just because now i need to make my mark on this department oh i'm making america right for all the wrong reasons oh look at this can i get this toad surely this deserves a towing yes that counted yes this is great even though i'm pretty sure it might be in like the garage here to be repaired but uh sucks to be you i guess your car breaks down and then it gets towed okay i totally understand why people go on power trips now i feel just great look at this position and alignment too far into the street i brought out my measuring tape and you're three centimeters over the acceptable amount oh look at this you're getting towed i love ruining people's lives it feels so good what are you doing jaywalker stop right in the middle of a busy road i'm issuing you a ticket stop winking at me flirting will get you nowhere not with the long arm of the law i'm blaming everyone else for jaywalking and i'm just running across the street to check the parking meters jesus christ almighty this game is scary sometimes just from its jankiness alone right i'm missing you a ticket for littering but you look like a serial killer so watch yourself you're lucky i'm just not opening fire to be honest with you i probably would but nearly everyone in this game looks like a serial killer it's something about the dead eyes look at me i'm running this car by the way isn't that sick stop stop going faster than me my masculinity depends on me being faster than your car stop right now look at this it's like something from the terminator all right now that i've gotten back my fragile masculinity i think i will just go wait at the police station for a few hours until my shift ends because i think i've done enough to get a promotion there we go i beat the car so now now i'm just going to stay here for a few hours this is your punishment for making me feel weak that'll prove how strong and secure i am okay shift ending shift ending so glad i wasted all of your time i'm gonna go in and end the shift like jesus you're not enjoying your new job i'm running in ready to end the day and then there we go frank miller password extreme justice yes now we're talking that's a level up you unlock the new tool the radar gun i'm gonna give people radiation and a new neighborhood oh that looks way nicer oh look at this a whole new desk and everything i am blessed why do i feel like i'm locking on to them with missiles or something i'm just going to report you for speeding i don't know what the speed limit is oh apparently you were going over it lucky me i'm calling the wrecker and then i'm going to make sure they're not speeding it's a sting operation that woman just littered but is she speeding help seems good oh there's the wrecker wait what the hell i can't give the wrecker a ticket the wrecker's overpowered in this game zero miles per hour probably speeding hero forces i mean like a reverse speeding report like they're going too slow they're going to hold up traffic oh god i'm efficient this is great oh there we go yeah gotcha report i am going to be promoted in no time with this 32 there you go i'm so good at my job and the fact that they're doing it is so brazen like honestly i'm a bit concerned that they might think i'm just aiming a gun at them and they're speeding up to get out of the way because the fact they're doing it when i'm being so obvious about this radar gun it just doesn't add up oh they slowed down as soon as they saw me oh you're not quite as smart reported i don't know what the speed limit is 28 too fast let me see oh it is okay the speed limits must be 25 then because everyone is going 25 for the most part i assumed it was 30. it which honestly even that seems too slow for this road they're all 125 on the dot now was it you did you spoil my spot you're after informing them on your damn phone aren't you damn millennials i think it's best that you leave wait what is wrong with my gun i think i didn't assemble it right i go and get out of here get out of here go oh my god you are brave are stupid i'm not sure or stuck actually i think stock was oh um all right goodbye sir is that is that a crime should i should i intervene i'm going to stun you but it's for your own good oh there you go i freed you oh no all right feck i've really screwed up this npc i've ruined his life what if i get you arrested for aggravated assault you're a terrible cop no you're a terrible npc yeah there's definitely something wrong with my gun i think there's something wrong with this entire game i'm here to take your suspect into custody oh he's underneath okay is this gonna work i think the police think that he's down on the ground okay they're oh all right well that worked i guess all right i saved the man today i should feel good about that i think look at how sad he is leave it in the back anyway now that the snitch is gone back to doing what i do best oh wrong gun it doesn't matter sorry i'm just checking your speed i can tell by how fast my bullets reach your vehicle all right apparently that's committed police brutality well if i can't change the system i don't want to be a part of it i'm going to leave it there but i hope you enjoyed the video i subscribe if you're new would love to have you around and i hope you all enjoyed i'll see you all next time i hope bye for now 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Channel: Call Me Kevin

Views: 675,506

Rating: 4.9675298 out of 5

Keywords: Call Me Kevin, Call Me, CallMeKevin, CallMe, funny, funny moments, comedy, lets play, gameplay, gaming, simulator, sim, callmekevin sim, call me kevin sim, simulator game, police sim, police simulator patrol duty, police simulator patrol officers, police simulator game

Id: Nwwe51QB4cE

Length: 23min 11sec (1391 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 22 2021