Papers Please but far more violent

hey there friends how's it going my name is kevin you got anything in there anything funky that i should be aware of anything that's maybe not allowed over the border all right fair enough i trust you ah okay well now that i know i can trust you we have to stop all the other people who cannot be trusted and are bringing vile contraband into our country i'm not even sure what we'll be looking for weapons i assume counterfeit potatoes that's the worst thing about being irish there's so many counterfeit potatoes i hate thinking i'm getting a name brand potato and then i open it up and it's a counterfeit anyway i won't go into a ranch but we're about to start a new game join me in contraband police the dream job border crossing afghanistan 1981 i don't know how i slept through this music to be honest with you dude all right we're here oh my god were you driving with no hands the entire time god rush is so ahead of us when it comes to self-driving vehicles i wasn't listening to the dialogue at all but i'm sure i'll be fine thanks for the ride oh jesus i didn't know you were in there why are you just hiding in here oh no the previous border officer was arrested and in other news citizens satisfied with the government as many as 9 out of 10 citizens support the actions of the ruling party unemployment is falling salaries are rising and the curfew is now only at 11 pm this is where i get my job oh oh my god i have the flashlight now okay that makes it official sorry i didn't know this was occupied i guess i'll just wait for the bathroom this is the bathroom right because i didn't see anywhere else just leaving all the doors open yeah there is no other bathroom that must be it we got some build up here is anyone else doing this job or is it just me hello are you gonna let them in that is a lot of information i gotta get on people great let's get started just to be clear i didn't read that i'm sure it'll be fine though go and make your way right over here if you can pull up up there that would be great oh my god he's getting shouty now all right fine we'll see i just got a carrot jacket and he's like no i've seen your videos i know what you're up to that's it open it up you'll pay for screaming at me all right he seems to be okay nothing seems to be out of order with his details like if i look here everything's matching up so that's good news i thought that was saying his weight for a second there 1700 kg i was like god you've lost a lot of weight congratulations all right inspection finished you can drive off honestly i just want to see you driving with all the doors open he rolls up the window i can't forget to roll up the window before he starts driving all right next one what do we got here uh that name doesn't match there's a spelling mistake i'm gonna confront him on this i i didn't confront him i just denied him by accident um just wait for vengeance what what does that mean all right just enter i don't care that much if you come in or not wait hold on let's talk about this a little bit he's getting upset now just keep opening all of their doors and boots and everything mac at least one actual error oh i didn't actually mark anything i just said no and handed it back there's going to be something suspicious in this what are you hauling huh there's something here ah gotcha black tire all right i said vehicle damage will i just talk to him now and be like hey you got a flat tire you got to go home no flat tires in our country but don't hand it out that window i wanted to fix let me put it back in give me your [ __ ] id or i'm just gonna deny you wait a second his passport number doesn't match up either this is just a disaster vladislav you can't come in here like this excuse me sir how long it'll take as long as i wanted to take um vladislav the poor guy he's genuinely just coming in i think i don't think he's up to any trouble i'm just giving him a hard time especially the fact that i open that boot like that's probably gonna fall off next we just don't allow people into our country it would seem i wouldn't have confidence if i rolled up in this car and just ran over the traffic but the fact that everyone in front of him got denied can't be good all right what do we got here just like papers please um everything looks fine ways i don't think republic of kazam is a real country you know what if you live in a fictional country i'm going to accept you you deserve to live in a real country welcome to wherever it is we are the republic of ireland i never fix their hood or anything they just drive off i should probably keep an eye on that all right i broke even now it was not going well there i got fine and i was actually in the negative after i had day's work oh come on dude you can't drive in on that you know what i'm sure you can find a garage to fix your car here oh look at how enthusiastic he is i'm sure he'll find a garage though to fix that tire i'm sure he'll be fine oh and everything actually closed on your car now that is modern technology he shouldn't be allowed in what what was it was it the tire i'm being sent to my room oh so that's where i am of course accuracy yes of course one of my favorite places actually accuracy ireland okay two correct checks that's not bad that's the third that's the third that i got right that's good about as good as i can expect oh we got suspects now all right we're looking for wally what no second name what is he like a cartoon character and we're looking out for someone in his zaged whatever the hell that is just green car oh is that green no that's more of a teal let them through boys get out the [ __ ] car i'm not searching it you're a suspect and you're you're bad for trying to transport oh god i don't think i'm catching it wait wait wait we got something counterfeit money what are you doing with this huh you know i'll take it as a bribe and leave you through wait no it's fake no bad person wait a knife all right dude we take counterfeit money very seriously apparently oh my god i can actually hurt him i didn't expect it to work all right now that i've subdued him i'm gonna start opening up your car if he was smuggling this amount of stuff in the seats and he went to that much trouble why did any of this just hanging under the glove box watch yourself buddy all right oh god i didn't know the right click hits with the mouse too oh my god they're filled with i was going to say crayons for accident i meant cigarettes i don't know why i almost said crayons what have you got here are these frag grenades should i be continuing to hit them probably not there we go i'm letting all the air out of his tires all right that's it you're coming with me i was going to give him the death penalty but i guess that's not my decision to make there you go now you get to watch this guy in the bathroom oh my god the blood sent to labor camp labor camp is too fat god damn it labor camp is always too fair huh all right there we go that's all the contraband we got from his one car that room was empty beforehand oh my god i'm getting more tools pitchfork how does it have a burning torch and a pitchfork ready to kill come on come true go and put it in h come on oh [ __ ] sake i just know he is contraband though i can smell it like why would you be carrying this truck through here if it had nothing on it coming over the border huh good day you don't tell me what kind of weather we're having i'm mad with power wait one second let me open up the seat i have no reason to do this but i destroyed vehicle pad no this is just foam what are you doing with this counterfeit form huh you think you can just bring this into my country i'm losing a lot of money here there's got to be something you're bringing something into the country i just got to find it nothing what tell me where it is it's like what are you talking about can i have your documents i mean you don't really have a choice i'm holding a pitchfork up to you okay i think you're good to go um well you're not because well i've destroyed your truck completely i like how he thanked me he's like god please stop this is my livelihood paper's clean there we go i got 100 bucks for that but i lost like 200 from all the damage i caused oh this is the guy i don't mean to profile but you look like a super mario villain no it's not him this guy's name is vladmir i thought it was uh wallenti you know i kind of tired myself out on the last person you you can just go through oh god damn it he shouldn't have been allowed through i checked everything on the first guy and he was innocent the second guy i just gave him a free pass but no he was hiding something that's it good cop bad cop and a bad cop this time where's the roof of your car this doesn't look like it's supposed to be a convertible wait i'm getting up on top of his car what am i looking for here just cut the brake lines there we go you better not be warranty no he's good he cannot see where he's going at all what what was his problem oh you'd a broken window well he didn't have a [ __ ] roof did it matter oh and his photo didn't match i didn't even know i should be looking at that oh my god it's warranty you're coming with me punk it would pitchfork here with pitchfork oh my god my pitchfork broke nah grow back over here ah there we go what game lost i don't understand you said he was a suspect they're like yeah for littering we've opened the border come on through i just have it permanently up now this is the guy with the contraband again isn't it all right let me just hold on there we go counterfeit money you're being arrested hey don't close that on me hello finish control quickly well you know what i'm gonna go to the bathroom then i'll be right back sorry guys nature calls the poor people just staring at me he's in shock i'm asserting dominance all right sir i'm back what takes you so long bowel problems i'm looking for an excuse to not allow this guy into the country uh it's gotta be some reason i can deny you come on there is literally nothing wrong with this that he is everything above board everything is checked and ready that's it you're going to jail your crime is being rude to me and hurting my feelings the punishment is death goodbye hey can you clear up this truck you can just pull it off to the side if you want i would like to keep it for my own personal vehicle i don't know what this button actually even does i've not been pressing it let me give it a try oh it weighs them okay so i can check the weight see max weights 1700 kg yep oh geez you're looking great oh you've lost a lot of ways congratulations oh no your passport number doesn't line up buddy let's put this as an actual reason like give him a reason for not being allowed into the country because usually i don't say anything i just say denied and i don't explain it yeah it looked like he was going to put up an argument there he went like yeah but then i pulled out my switchblade and he backed off pretty quick i think that was the first one i've actually done right when i told him no a justified refusal that is the first time i've gotten that this one's gonna fail on weight isn't 4500 let's see he's got a smashed window first of all anyway and i didn't do it for once why do they always do that like they're playing a yu-gi-oh card it really is just off-putting okay the weight is fine passport number looks fine okay so should i reject him for the window or not i'm gonna mark it and then i'm gonna say rejected i don't know if that's justified or not why i just gave you the report i told you for once just careful with that turning circle christ almighty gonna kill someone over here criminal escape oh my god that was warranty wasn't it you bastard oh he's always one step ahead oh god damn it i forgot two very different realities one where i met him and just went hmm you can go home and the other one where i just murdered him with a pitchfork not a bad second day on the job minus 580 we need to free up some space at the post though today you're going for a ride your taxi transport prisoners to a labor camp and deliver intercepted contraband to the police space i'll remember at least half of that visit the store long way to buy some tools okay oh my god should i write this down or something first let's deal with her naughty boys hey naughty boys they're like oh no what's gonna happen tell you what's gonna happen murders [Music] now no transport necessary they didn't like that at all all right let's retry transfer to police car oh we're going to have such a good ride together this is going to be a hell of a road trip you want to come too actually no yeah i'm just thinking that too anyway i best get going moving these prisoners out where are they oh there you are i'm gonna leave this open i got kind of an honor system going and we are out in the middle of the woods so you could probably run but please don't sorry i've never driven before so i'm just trying to figure this all out uh i don't really know what i'm doing should i get yeah i think i need to go back in there and transfer the stuff maybe you should keep an eye on them i left the door open for no reason well there is a reason but it's just because of who i am as a person there we go got everything and i'll put it into the vehicle there we go they say i'm ready to go even if the door is just hanging open you could jump out at any time and the map oh god this isn't google maps i'm here i need to take a right and then just go straight right on the fork always stay right okay i'm on it wait no don't go on the right side of the car there's no steering wheel over there oh a shortcut hang on guys oh [ __ ] sorry sorry didn't mean to get you whiplash i apologize nearly ran a car off the road as well they can still see me by the way i just left to the checkpoint oh for a fact sake just ram it ah didn't work hold on guys they're probably dead i got an axe hold on i'm a man of many talents jack of all trades master of none it just screams at me please stop all right here we are folks the labor camp that's what you get for smuggling crayons into the country it's sent to labor camps sent to labor camp there you go mission complete happy days well not not for them but for me happy days look at them they're just eating away at that rock just like they're not even trying all right i got to get here so i'll just go forward and take the second left the dirt trail can i go under trails they're my friends again it's literally those two guys i don't know if it's worth having the labor camp just for those two we gotta fill that place up we just gotta start arresting everyone what okay god damn it he the same plan as i did i wanted to go this way and clearly the road's fine even though they say it's under construction like he came this way so and look there's more i know it's okay i'm sorry i'm taking out my frustration on the vehicle i should probably turn off the siren it would be a bit more peaceful no that doesn't feel right actually i think it was the siren making it peaceful okay this dirt track is open i'll go this way i'm struggling enough to drive on the roads never mind the dirt roads this is a shop oh my god what do they sell bodies if so i could get you a supply line there's a lot of people i could kill all right what do you oh my god why are you selling scalpels out here that's scarier than the bodies give me this branch oh god he's got a line of customers sorry folks i didn't realize there's such a demand for scalpel so in this part of the woods you go ahead okay and last stop is the police base ask them all gathered contraband oh yeah sure uh hold on i left it in the booth it's my second day third day i'm kind of new there we go i have counterfeit money and an alcohol canister i don't know if it was worth driving all the way out just to give you these there you go and here have this branch on the house oh he doesn't want my branch god damn it i try and extend an olive branch and he just won't take it all right now back home better reverse without looking i'm here oh my god i went right through our gate i thought i'd just stop congratulations you did well today yes lots of driving and all on a single tank of kerosene this is quite the vehicle anyway i best catch some z's and look at the state of the place it was fine before i showed up is sunday april 19. food over production as is tradition in motherland we have too much food this is not propaganda this is truth this is my truth the following products are not allowed food oh yeah we just do so much of it he's like this is literally my lunch it's an apple and some crackers can i just no too much food in our country already we are bursting at seam jesus look at that flat tire fat in hell i hope you're not hauling anything heavy oh christ almighty unpack an apple crate wait you're bringing apples yeah i know what they say an apple a day keeps the doctor away but it also sends you to prison i'm arresting you okay surely he can't oh he does have a lot of cargo it's just to say that i won't have to deal with the cargo but i do ah sorry i didn't mean to go that close to you i'm going to open these bags one way or another why are you doing this some sick twisted thrill i don't know my upbringing maybe that's right i was a minecraft youtuber show me that contraband i know you have something that's it all right popped you're not allowed in you can't mark parrots that you've already damaged god damn it i just go on in there it's fine sorry about the anger that's just again who i am as a person it just comes out in flashes of anger go on ahead enjoy the sightseeing uh looking here right just up ahead you'll see the last two people i dealt with they're in the the labor camp ah goddamn hippies you're not allowed in my country oh wait hold on what the hell is this flammable substances you want to be more uh clear on that what's in here tell me he must be freaking out this is highly dangerous even if there was a spark off the mess all right everything checks out just be careful on the road and there's so many potholes up ahead that that driver should be returned they're like i know we specifically told you not to allow food in but he's literally going in with explosive material you just let him in oh perfect's sake what is this you're not allowed to bring your dogs into my country careful with the goats they could just jump out at any point yes that was fine okay my last one of the day let's go he's already rolling up with a flat tire this doesn't look good huffy uh surely that's not allowed i may be willing to accept the bribe though you know maybe give me some of that coffee all right you got one flat tire and i'm gonna say the the food is the issue so denied and the bright side even if you're gonna drive all night to get back there you got your coffee all right have a good time invalid inspection report damn it i'm just gonna try and make my escape this work clearly isn't for me oh i keep coming back this is horror here we go this is my only way out of this job by becoming an axe murderer there we go i'm fired all right we are going to end it there i hope you enjoyed let me know if you want to see more games like this leave a like drop a comment i appreciate it thank you so much for watching i appreciate you and i hope to see you tomorrow bye for now [Music]

Channel: Call Me Kevin

Views: 767,794

Rating: 4.9756889 out of 5

Keywords: Call Me Kevin, Call Me, CallMeKevin, CallMe, contraband police gameplay, contraband police prologue, contraband police demo gameplay, contraband police ep 1, contraband police pc, contraband police game, contraband police callmekevin, paper please, games like papers please, border game, border patrol

Id: lRrSD_EdIk8

Length: 18min 33sec (1113 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 23 2021