This is what happens when a psychopath is the law

hey there friends my name is kevin and you are under arrest this is pretty similar patrol duty it sounds like a parody oh that's loud sorry it sounds like a parody though of like a cop show police simulator patrol duty all right let's get started with a new career it's gonna be hard to see because i've got my spectacles on do i want to be rachel styles or phil jones i think phil jones is more generic so i'll go with him i've just been having a blast playing horrible simulator games recently so this looks pretty dodgy i'm excited oh my god it already looks awful i'm so excited they're holding the car keys down in the armory oh i even have a voice great sorry oh god damn i can't move hey remember last month when we caught that guy doing 50 miles per hour in the 30s that's fantastic but who are you looking at he was staring over there these people have a serious problem with eye contact you must log into the police computer and accept one of the available missions where is that is that one of these do i want traffic duty or do i want suspect that a suspect id let's go citizens terrorizing civilians by means of a fire weapon located in why are you sending me an email about this [ __ ] shouldn't this be like on the radio in the cars okay gotta get to the armory apparently where's the armory i feel like i'm not the best guy for the job i seem to have forgotten everything about my job and i don't even know the layout of the police station i feel like everyone will be dead by the time i get there aha armory great okay good he just gives me everything i don't actually have to pick stuff okay so i'm basically i'll be fine i know what i'm doing [ __ ] oh god damn it out of the way what are you doing just because there's some stripy lines on the road doesn't mean you can just walk across i also like how he stopped me dead in my tracks okay where is he come on punk show yourself [ __ ] [ __ ] sorry sorry how do i get in there okay since i had my sirens on the entire time like he knows i'm coming i'm giving him a lot of time to get away can i go in on foot is that even a good idea i this is me trying to get out of my car stop beeping at me i'm allowed to stop in these yellow boxes it's the law [Music] okay it appears my car is the weakest thing ever made by man no matter what i hit into it just stops dead in its tracks okay i cannot find a way in here in my car which is bad news because i don't know how to get out of my car oh come on dude leave carrick c why is it e to get in and c to leave what a joke all right i've arrived pretty sure my shift's going to be over soon and also i can't get in this door how am i supposed to get in the alarm at the north ford jewelry store has been triggered okay maybe i should just go to that and abandon this guy who's firing at civilians like i've not heard any gun shots it's probably a prank call wait can i just do a u-turn is that legal as if anything else i'm doing is legal oh my god jesus christ the only thing he's actually capable of doing is drifting everything else he's useless at like what do i even do when i get there i have a feeling he's not just going to pull over you know jesus christ i don't even want to know how fast i'm going i think i'm about to break the sound barrier only by damaging the care will they come to a halt oh [ __ ] that was him god damn it i could have killed us both there that would have been amazing killed two birds with one stone wait where the hell is he gone oh my god this guy's a criminal genius he took one turn and i'm like watch out i've got sirens on jesus is this him turning oh this is him get ready for whiplash oh god damn it okay why does that stop me and my tracks completely how am i supposed to stop any criminal if my car behaves this way okay good he's an idiot okay bad i'm even more of an idiot this isn't working okay now he's chasing me for some reason wait he crashed okay knock him down knock him down okay she stopped me all right pursuing on foot okay we're just jogging together now i don't know how to take out a weapon i can jump though okay come on there's got to be a button to take out a weapon all right first let's see if she's speeding i got my speed gun zero miles per hour goddamn thing is faulty okay they don't seem to have any ai they just go forward and this road is completely straight so i've got a plan come on what are you gonna do you gotta pass me if you wanna go this way she's still trying to get around there we go okay my conduct bear which is the yellow bear at the top is going down really fast i'm really tempted but no we should arrest her we worked hard for this wait what he handcuffed himself what is going on he did a little magic trick i think she's dying to be honest i can't seem to arrest her i think she's on the ground were arrested the city does not tolerate rootless cops well why'd you hire me then you know i got a reputation all right maybe i shouldn't have gone in at the deep end maybe i should do traffic duty maybe i i would be more suited to that oh wait a suspect id drug traffickers oh i'm the guy for the job oh man i'm gonna go out and kill so many drug dealers if you use the breath analyzer remember to swap the mouthpieces before every use you really think that's what you need to be warning me about honestly you should be saying stuff remember don't open fire on a crowd of civilians okay that's it get out of the car stopped in the yellow box huh yep i'm putting her under arrest all right pull over step out of the vehicle please sure sure what's that resisting arrest stop beeping or i'll arrest you too oh look at this chad huh i thought you look like a bit of a chad all right that's it i'm giving you a ticket also my phone number's at the bottom if you want to hang out sometime maybe grab a few brewskis give me a call what the hell he's carrying a condom and i got an achievement get frisky oh cause i frisked him okay i'm really into it too much remember phone number on the bottom dick just side swipe his car i somehow didn't lose anything off my conduct meter even though i just gave that guy a ticket for literally doing nothing i guess he didn't stop in that yellow box after all who am i looking for i've forgotten my job coughing without a license that's it come over here that'll teach you what why you're going to have a lot to explain to do when you get back to the precinct listen captain i'm a loose cannon cop who doesn't work by the rules that's why you hired me what is my guy doing who am i looking for do i have the details here somewhere why do i never pay attention okay green tank top purple jeans black afro black long sleeve sweater and orange jeans purple jeans orange jeans and black skirt that's what we'll focus on good thing all my suspects dress very very distinctly so that they'll stand out in a crowd i'm basically alerting everyone of my location all the time because i've got my sirens on constantly wait purple jeans hold on a second even if you're not my guide that is a crime against fashion i i haven't done anything wrong officer that's for me to decide all right uh should i just arrest him no i should probably frisk him first i'm already on thin ice with the captain [Music] what the hell why would why all right why didn't you just tell me the truth like the gig was up you please show me some id wait i shouldn't be asking for id at this point i should be arresting him hey that isn't mine i was just holding it for a friend are you talking about your id because that's what you last gave me okay listen i'm a busy man so i'm gonna go ahead and leave now but you better not go anywhere i'm trusting you on this this is a time to grow as a person okay i was like why is this game so dark and then i realized i'm wearing sunglasses taken into custody oh he did stay there you're a good guy i'm proud of you that guy looks a bit suspicious he's carrying like a duffle bag and they're always used for crimes and stuff stop right there okay the bag disappeared now i look like an idiot are you carrying anything i should know about that's none of your business okay that's it frisk um fresco he's got something he's very defensive coins huh probably drug money right oh my god it's so bright if i take all my sunglasses i'm not used to it now that's it are they skiing can you fill me in more orange jeans i'm a genius oh god i didn't mean to do that i'm sorry he immediately came down oh for effects sake you know i'm ruthless please run make my day seriously like just arrest him i know it's him it doesn't matter requesting prisoner transport at my current location thank you didn't bother searching him he's got orange jeans no one else would be foolish enough to wear orange jeans district okay i'll go check that out i'll abandon my current duty wait they didn't let me abandon my current duty it dicks okay so if those two have told me anything i should look for two people where did that car go you're supposed to uphold the law not break it what what did i do did i delete that car with my mind okay if i've learned anything from the other two it's that i'm looking for someone who's standing still and no one in this game stands still so it should be easy to find her hmm looks pretty dodgy wearing a pink t-shirt and a black skirt but she doesn't have blonde hair you know what hair dye is a thing let's arrest her okay we got him we got him a rest a rest central do you copy okay he is suspicious he just started running for me for no reason i got them all i'm excited you know what i deserve a promotion i have earned this the diner in apple beach has been wrong a diner robbery yes i'm honest again the character building of state still blah blah blah blah blah i'm gonna stop a robbery oh my god i'm on the thinnest of ice i'm standing on an ice cube right now with the precinct i gotta be really careful if i do anything wrong i get fired okay that doesn't count he crashed into me okay there's witnesses oh my god there's so much going on here uh that sounds kind of important but it doesn't matter i gotta deal with this robbery now oh my god can you stop slurping like that that's disgusting i'm actually gonna shoot you both of them were wearing blue jumpsuits wait she said they were wearing like a black jacket and jeans i think it was some kind of van black maybe she said a different car as well what is going on yeah look blue carol cliff and this one's saying it's a van someone's lying one of you are the robbers honestly i want to arrest her just for that slurping alone oh my favorite song generic diner music right evidence evidence what does evidence look like i should arrest them for having a messy diner we gotta shut this place down oh good he had oil all over his hands while he was robbing the place bullet cases why were they shooting oh my god there's blood over here did someone die and a usb drive hopefully their ids are on it there's a lot of [ __ ] blood here i don't know what they were doing it's not letting me collect the evidence of this blood even though i know it's the last thing because it's the last thing that is here okay he's taking selfies at a crime scene i can kind of see why his conduct is so low this place is a [ __ ] there's no way all the robbers just put all this dirt all over the place like the real crime here is your hygiene standard i don't know what to do i can't [ __ ] investigate that thing it's even pointing me on the map to this blood and i can't do anything can i leave without it i think it's contaminated anyway i keep stepping in it okay this is broken i'm pissed because i was actually interested in solving this crime it's completely fact oh my god i swear to god i don't need this right now look that's it i'm i'm handing in my mustache ah i'm handing my glasses too i'm done i really didn't think me playing a police simulator would end up with me being arrested that pissed me off i wanted to complete that mission it was actually the one interesting one that i was like okay i can try and actually find the criminals and hunt them down it's a proper case but it wouldn't let me but yeah i guess we will leave it there i hope you enjoyed me being a cop i i will protect your streets just give me a buzz and i'll be there just be sure there's someone to protect you from me as well that's important but i hope you guys enjoyed if you did i'd appreciate a like it helps me figure out what you do and don't like you know it just sends a very clear message but i do hope you enjoyed i appreciate you watching as always and i hope to see you next time bye for now

Channel: Call Me Kevin

Views: 1,094,560

Keywords: kevin, callmekevin, funny, moments, gameplay, lets, play, game, cmk, clips, police simulator, police simulator patrol duty, police video game, police simulator 18, police simulator: patrol duty, cop simulator, police simulator 2018, police game, police simulator game, police simulator patrol duty gameplay, bigmoon entertainment police simulator, simulator funny moments, police simulator 2019, police sim, police funny moments, police simulator patrol duty multiplayer, simulation games

Id: Aw0PYPU2H2c

Length: 11min 58sec (718 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 19 2019

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[u/DrumpfTinyHands]

Hong Kong is what happens when a group of psychopaths are the law.