How men break you down!

hey hey tony gaskins here now i want to pop in i'm gonna talk to you today won't be before you long today you know so we got to get going excuse me this week really really busy for me so the videos may be a little shorter this week to those of you who are my my hour haulers um today i'm talking to you about how a man breaks you down because we talked about yesterday recognizing the red flags and you know a lot of people made some some some deep comments about the verbal you know verbal abuse and i don't take that lightly you know it's very serious and that's a part of how a man will break you down and what you have to realize is that every man that you meet every man you deal with is going to test you there's no if ands and buts about it every human is going to test you when you go to get service on your car they're going to test you to see if you know anything about a car when you go to buy a car when you go to get a haircut anywhere you you going to get tested to see what you know and what could be gotten from you in every aspect of life so you just gotta be prepared for it i know a lot of people have this fairy tale like oh a real man will not test you don't you know he gonna test you he gonna test you i mean the reason why he gonna test you is because he wanna see if you're a real woman he wanna see if you're a grown woman so the way a real man finds out if the woman is a real woman is by tesla and what i mean by testing is he may bring up sleeping together if you down for the cause and you read it and and you give an answer like well you know i don't have a number on it it's just like if i feel it i feel it you know sometimes that's the first night sometimes it's the 100th night oh oh really oh really oh so now just ballpark figure like how many times has it been the first night you know um just curious well i mean i lost count really 10 11 15. went to college you know you know how it goes no i no i actually don't you see what i'm saying so that's a test he ain't try to sleep with him whip out on you but he brought that up to test you cause now you're not on his level because that ain't how he see sleeping together he don't see it that casual and innocent as you see it all right austin lavista i'll see you later so it's going to start with some questions another testing question is what kind of man are you looking for [Music] if it's a player he asks that question because he wants to know what role he needs to play that's why you can't read a man your script so you got to be able to be discreet you got to be able to be non-descriptive you can't give too much information when you're dealing with a man you got to be able to say well i know when i see it i know him when i see him um when you want to sleep together i'll know when i'm ready you see what i mean your answers gotta be aloof you can't be and that's the thing so many women you come in and you're genuine and you pure and that's a great thing but we don't live in that kind of world we don't the world is not out here to protect you the world is not your friend so you got to protect yourself because if you come out naked you come out exposed you're going to get taken advantage of so you got to be when you building with a man you can't come and sit down and just read your whole life story and it's so many women and i see it you know you meet a man and you just overly expressive and you just talking so much and uh you know so what do you think about eating tonight y'all on the date and this the man so so what you think about getting the night well i was looking at these tacos but when i was three years old my granddad came up to me and said let me touch your tacos so it's like ever since then i just really don't want to touch taco i i struggle with eating tacos because it just i don't even know how this came up but it's just like [Music] every time i see taco you see what i'm saying and that's a very serious topic and that's something that it's no laughing matter but at the same time that's what you should talk about with your therapist you said i mean but it's actual women who will bring up that kind of trauma on a dinner date and then a man on it hurting because he picturing your granddaddy decrepit coming up saying something like that so now you know actually i'm gonna have water with with lemon can you put the slices of lemon on the side and and bring me a glass of ginger ale as well if something not his whole energy his whole mood and change cause he's like wow this woman here really got a lot of baggage and i see it you know so it's like men and women equally messed up it just in different ways so what a man gonna come to do he coming to test you to try you and this was this what the man is getting ready to do first it's just gonna be with words just conversation and then slowly but surely he gonna tiptoe gonna try some things gonna throw out some some backwards mindsets oh women oh women could pay for the food nah hey women can pay for the food it's all right you know you're successful woman you're an independent woman you could pay for the food so you like yeah you right i ain't got no problem with that swipe all right gotcha now he see you better boop now he see you do what to do so now he see you is do girl cause you just paid for the whole meal now oh brother best we going is dutch that's the best we going in half and half you know paying for the whole meal you see what i mean but boom now he got you then it's just going to be a look it's going to be a little test in every in different areas it might be well i'll come over to your place let's have a date at your place then he stay tonight then come back over tomorrow night stay the night stay the night next thing you know he didn't stay for five nights next thing you know he moved in with you you paying bills over here you paying the rent it's your hard earned this it's on your name this your credit he likes some water and cable in your name but now he's staying tonight you know why you don't rescue them because he was living with his homeboy he was living with him mama so now you don't rescue them he was ready to break up with that girl but he had nowhere to go so he was living off her now he living off you got you oh man my car broke down well you could drop me off at work and then you could use my car you don't know him the man could have eight speeding tickets it may have five wrecks in the last three years and you can let the man get in your car your car finally be flipped on his head this man don't know how to drive the man got too dui his lights are suspended he gets started okay he going to jail your car getting impounded you see what i'm saying you just met the man two months ago three months ago you yeah you don't even know the man but that's a test see this is what you got to realize and so you have to go in with the mindset of i owe a man nothing but kindness i owe him nothing but kindness nothing but to love him you know oh don't give him no money don't do them no crazy favors don't be bending over backwards don't be cooking no meals y'all courting you talking you getting to know each other it's his job as a man to show you that he is a protector and a provider that he can lead that he can follow god and lead a household you see what i mean you watching you interviewing him a lot of time women go in like the man is the prize and you're trying to show your cooking skills you trying to show your sleeping skills you trying to show how you a nurturer you're an empath you're a caregiver or you could use my car or you could stay with me oh i'll pick up your daughter from daycare don't worry about that oh i pick up your son from school don't worry no no he need to go on care.com and get a nanny or have his mama or his auntie or the child mother help him out that's not your job to be coming in there captain sable you see what i mean you have to because see that's how a man will break you down he gonna try you with words then it's gonna be getting fables from you now i come to the favors okay first is just questioning you versus questioning you got to be careful how you answer questions and write this down okay question all right then it's going to be favors all right i'm formulating this right now in my head all right then after the favors next gonna come test okay then write this down test now what i mean by test is this the physical test all right first you already got the lesson now here come the test what i mean by test is he's going to say stuff like i call you when i get off work call you at seven you don't hear from 7 p.m you sitting up you sitting by the phone looking at the phone the phone looking at you phone keep lighting up cause you staring at it so hard you think you're trying to get in the phone siri how can i help you sir like uh man can you please stop looking at me cause you i'm ready to go back in the bottle like the genie but you keep staring at me so i got to stay on guard what do you need man you sent me the phone looking back at you so you sitting up by the phone nah yo bad time 10 10 30. you up to midnight waiting on that call and now you can tell in your mind oh what if something happened to him what if he got in the wreck what if somebody done robbed him ain't nothing wrong with that man the man just ain't thinking about you that's the test he with his other woman see what i mean y'all just met y'all dave he dating around it's her night tonight you see what i mean so then come tomorrow he hit you first thing in the morning hey so sorry about last night i got home and just passed out oh my god i was so tired well you weren't that tired we're going so well you act like you're working on on the railroad in the midnight hour like you harriet tuckman cousin you said i mean you you're not that tired man you as a grown the man eight ten hours you put in oh all right using the hot sun okay here's the old cookie you weren't that tired get out of here with that so that's what a man will do he'll tell you that you believe it so now you they'll boo the food so the next day oh so sorry i fell asleep so you like well that's okay i understand you're a hard-working man and hey a lot of men don't even want to work you are a hard-working man when the answer need to be hey listen my time is very precious and when you tell me you're going to do something i expect for you to do it i really don't you know the excuse about you went to sleep like you could have called me on your way home you know you coulda you you give me your word cause what you gotta realize is that when you say you're gonna do something you don't do it the next thing a person's mind goes to did he get hurt did he get in a car wreck did something happen so just out of decency if you know you that tired when you get out of the shower hopefully you shower when you get out of the shower and after you dry off as soon as you sit down you could at least shoot a text you got to let a person know you gotta let this man know that ain't no excuses ain't no excuse cuz you could read jesus on the main line so if you could read jesus on the main line you need to be able to reach him you if barack got time for michelle he got time for you so if you want to be here make sure you be here because i'm tell you like this right here a man who wants you ain't gonna miss you a man who wants you ain't gonna miss no deadline a man who wants you he missing no time to call you a man who wants you he on that phone with you lunch break driving to work driving from work he trying to hold you on that phone so long because he don't want no other man he do not want your ex to come slipping back in because he know you're a catch and he know your ass gonna hit his head and be coming back trying to sniff booty and so he see you i've seen dogs when they meet each other one dog sniff the other dog booty he know your ass gonna be trying to come back trying to sniff booty and so he want to keep you on that phone every waking moment he can that's what a lot of women don't realize that what a lot of women don't realize when a man wants something you gonna know a man won't it when you get left on hold the way you got to hang up the phone hang up on you and then we want no immersion when nobody in the hospital want nobody going to the hospital you get a time that he said gonna call you don't call you going about your business going back to business all right so that's the test right there with a phone call same thing with we're going to go on a date i can't count how many times women have asked me he planned the date and he counseled it he he'd been playing three dates and he i literally heard he's playing three dates he counts all three all right he had another relationship he don't want you he don't want you he too tied up he he preoccupied don't want you got to go that's another test now in this testing phase now when y'all dating let's say you round you around six months you're around give or take a few months okay when i say give or take a few months that mean it could be as early as three months it could be the latest nine months in this stage right here and i'm saying this video got to build a short date but um ain't got too much long got about 10 more minutes on you in this stage right here he may test you with he want to be controlling where you at what you doing put me on facetime facetiming what do you mean facetime you why do i have to do all that hey just facetime i miss you and i i want to see you so now you on facetime so now he got you on facetime um all right i could see what's behind you what's in front of you so you on facetime [Music] are you happy now yeah yeah i'm happy all right hey i'm gonna let you go bye controlling controlling gonna be dragging gonna be dragging you down the street and by six months gonna be dragging you down the street by your hair through the parking lot through the apartment complex you're gonna be again draw up by your hair you know what i'm telling you that's that's what i mean by a test gonna test you like that gonna just pop up on your unannounced knocking like the police and you going to the door what the world what's going on what you doing all right thank you open the door let me in test gonna be in control you hear me conor mcgregor that's what you got on your hands you see what i mean it's a little small thing that you ignore that you think is cute oh wow you just popped up you just gonna show up like that okay come get some of this you said i mean you think that's cute no that ain't cute if a man if the man you talking to and y'all ain't married y'all ain't in gay just and you ain't got no open door policy you have not told him come over anytime you want to you told him that he come showing up you look right through the peephole okay all right i see you out there okay all right you're gonna stay right now okay all right i'll go right back sit on the couch let my remote cat sit right on that couch i'm cutting the tv up i'm turning the volume up you hear what i'm saying let them sit out there and knock he calling calling you can answer the phone if you want to i wouldn't answer the phone i would sleep i was like don't come look you don't come knocking on my door you ain't telling me you was coming over here that's a test you said i mean so go through this in every aspect and in these tests it's going to be essentially an invasion of privacy is gonna be uh control it's gonna be a lack of trust you're gonna have a lack of agency meaning being able to do what you wanna do with your life it's gonna be and when i say control it could be telling you what to wear telling you who to hang out with who not to hang out with where to go where not to go all this stuff that you think oh wow he really cares no no [Music] hey listen to what i'm telling you now listen to what i'm telling you okay then that's right there them tests gonna go around all right and see the test you're gonna from there it's just test but it escalates so first it's a verbal test now it's different than question verbal test meaning controlling where you going or yelling at you why you answering my phone call when i called you i told you that i got scars that my ex cheated on me and then i'm calling you calling you calling you you answer the phone he's like listen i was working we not allowed to answer the phone yes you will you could've got up and went to the bathroom okay is you finished or is you done all right listen okay listen listen to me i think you forgot who you was talking to and i'm gonna tell you like this right here that is the first and the last time you talk to me like that i'll tell you right now if that's what you plan on doing don't ever call me again lose my number today cause you yell at me one more time if you still heard from your ex you better call tony gaskins you heard of him i seen his youtube right now you better get some coaching but you're not going to take out her mess on me you see what i'm saying that's what y'all afraid to do that's what y'all afraid to do you you let the man yell at you and you you getting chills in your body you getting turned on whoa girl you calling your girl girl i got a man girl when i tell you this man just cussed me ah whoo girl i hate to sound sick girl but that thing turned me on girl just to have a man that care like that all right all right you think he you think he killed you thank you kill all right listen to me now listen what i'm telling you now so that's going to be that verbal test that's what people be talking about when you talk about verbal of you all right after that verbal okay after that verbal it's gonna come emotional [Music] all right emotional all right i got four more minutes not emotional this is when he leave his phone by you let you go in there let you find text message with him and his ex or him and another woman leave his computer open facebook on the screen let you get into his messages you see flirting with other women instagram dm take the do not disturb off his phone let his other woman call his phone while he with you flip the phone over or look at it and put it down that's the emotional emotional view because what are you testing you now to see how you respond to this he gonna apologize gonna give you a good excuse gonna give you a good answer but hey you stay gotcha gotcha if it and if you stay but he does not feel that that is the one and the only time he will ever get that excused that that is the one and only time and see in that moment right now in both of these now verbal emotional you got to take a break what i mean 24 hours to 72 hours no contact so that he knows this is absolutely 100 percent unacceptable uh uh if you're in my life you better get right now you you fail that verbal and then you feel that emotional next physical that's what's coming that's what's coming so that's how a man is going to test you right there all right it's going to be with the questions he trying to get your script he want to get your script so he know what role to play he's gonna be denzel washington trying to get a academy award you hear me then it's gonna be fabulous he won't use your car he want to stay with you he need to borrow a little money for a bill he wants some new shoes he want this and there it's gonna be fables then it's gonna be the testing phase the real test okay verbal emotional physical he trying to see what he can get away with if he gets shut down that verbal he know he could never get the physical i know what my wife did to me i tried to yell she shut me she said don't talk to me like that she stopped me in the middle of the i was like what so that let me know i definitely can't get to know emotional and not my emotional it was accident i want to test when it was accident she found a message on facebook to somebody she found a mess on it that was accident she caught me but with the energy that i got the energy that i felt from her i said okay she's serious about this hill thing i bet not never slip up again so guess what never went to none physical because she stopped me early on boom in in the um coming in late look she she caught it so each i made a mistake in each area but she checked it with a fervor with an energy with an intensity no yelling no cursing no arguing it just was a feel it was a she told me directly like liam neeson cool calm and collected but it was firm i said this woman here ain't playing no game you hear me so guess what that's why i'm the man i am today because i met a real woman tried to do everything wrong and she let me know i'll stop you on every laugh one of these ain't nothing get by me boy you hit me and so i say hey if i want to be with this woman i got to do right hey god bless i might be able to go in on this another time but probably not cause i just flow and so i really can't pick up where i left off i'm not too good at that but my schedule a little tight this week uh god bless you and uh hopefully not some of y'all who you get used to the hour not hopefully not you might get a little more appreciation and you realize how long how much time i'd be on here so watch this two times if you admit it to the hour now watch this two times god bless you we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 147,876

Rating: 4.9548697 out of 5

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Id: Myg_V6GEKsU

Length: 24min 59sec (1499 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 21 2020