The OTHER women in his life!

I hate Tony Gaskins here popping in okay now y'all gotta forget is blowing him away I've got new face routine for my soul you know within beauty bloggers they have like 11 creams they put on a face so y'all gotta forget his glow on me glow it up this morning but I want to talk to you about a man and the women in his life okay because one thing that I'm noticing and I get a lot of questions about is from women going into a man's life and he already has women in his life and when I say women in his life I mean his mother his sister or sisters and his women friends like that he grew up with went to high school with college with ifs some things you got to understand about that now this first what you have to realize is the bond that a wife or that a girlfriend will have with a man if it is pure eventually will become stronger than any other bond because guess what what you have to realize is the difference is that you're actually sharing bodies you're swapping DNA you swapping bacteria in an intimate way and so that is going to separate a man's relationship with his wife from his relationship with his mother his sister and women friends now what you also have to understand is you got to understand how men are wired so men are wired to really really appreciate acts of service when acts of service words of affirmation those things go a long way and also men really really value blood men have this just ingrained thing that if we are blood blood is thicker than water do anything for my blood never turn my back on my blood and you have to understand that about me now also a man and his mother that relationship is going to be extremely strong similar to a woman and her dad but it's actually stronger when it's between a man and his mother it is a very very strong bond and the only way I can explain it is because this woman the mother has a pure love from her son because she is the reason he is in the world because what he realizes is that his dad has dropped off billions of sperm in his lifetime maybe even hundreds of billions of sperm in his lifetime but he was the one that survived and made it to the egg and then this woman's body took in confirmed his existence gave him life grew him inside of her body carried him from for five to ten months depending on if he was premature six to ten months seven to ten months carried him as extra weight change her hormones change her body shape and sometimes could have altered her for the rest of his of her life he innately understands that he innately understands the sacrifice his mother made then she clothed him and she fed him that is a different type of relationship than what a man will have with his wife because no matter what the wife does the wife can never reproduce redo what his mother did so you gotta understand that and then insists she's blood she's blood now the friends the women friends they have been there before the woman the girlfriend or wife showed up so he's gonna feel a he's gonna feel a sense of loyalty to them so that's what you have to understand and as a woman coming into this situation you have to be confident you got to be confident insecurity is a turn-off you competing against the other women in his life it's a turn-off now you shouldn't have to compete he should make you compete but when you take and you start competing because of your insecurities and you being territorial is unattractive it is it's a turn-off because what everybody wants mean and women is a confident partner who knows who they are who knows what they bring to the table and in a perfect world we all want somebody who won't even mention the opposite sex in a insecure way you know how we black oh that's your boyfriend huh I saw you over there talking to you boyfriend that's on the tractor that's that's a turn-off it's like will you be secure and then women oh that's Hitler girlfriend huh oh you probably want to be with her you probably want to sleep with her that's unattractive so you got to understand who you are and what you bring to the table now hear me when I tell you you should not have to compete you should not reduce yourself to competing for a role in his life you just do you you do what you do you're not you know you shouldn't come in and be trying to cook every day and I cook his mama that's not your role girlfriend don't cook for a man on the regular if it's special day okay cool a wife can cook whatever she want to cook even a wife ain't got to be cooking every day she got to cook at all know why you got takeout that why he could know how to cook you know what I'm saying that's why y'all could cook together so understand you coming in and you trying to put some extra elbow grease and his drawers when you watch them get this like a hill and then you ain't no cook in it you thought catching the food in the air and you throwing it behind your bike and you got on your phone cuz you're trying to say I bet miss mama can't do this and you like that twerking over the fool I bet that mama can't do this and you why are you cooking blowing your tik toks you need not do all that you don't have to do all of that you just got to be you because you bring something to the table that no other woman can bring in his life meaning his women friends that you know that he called friends might be associates his sister his mama because you bringing a different type of energy a different type of chemistry now what you got to understand it's it's all the way two sides to the coin now let's start when a man doesn't have a relationship with his mother when he doesn't have a relationship with his mother that is cause for concern whether she passed away whether she abandoned him she ran away went somewhere else and he he hates her whether she was an addict you know on drugs and he didn't have a real relationship with her it depends on how he healed and that's what you got to pay attention to that's what you got to be mindful of because he may go he's gonna be on one end of the spectrum or the other it's no different than how anybody deals with a traumatic experience like you will see a woman who was violated at a young age you know and she may go and be very promiscuous then you'll see another one who was violated at a young age and she made internalize it and take it out on herself and she you know she eats a lot and she eats out of you know anxiety guilt anger frustration and it changes her body you know and she puts on a lot that she didn't want to put on but it's it's her consolation you know the food is her best friend and it's consoling her spirit then you may see another woman who it doesn't affect her body but it still affects her mental but she doesn't let it make her be promiscuous instead she may become very conservative the way like she only want touch a man and so it depends on how people heal and what messages they got what did they see around them what were the other people in their life doing what continue to come at them and happen to them so you got to take that into consideration when you're looking at a man who doesn't have a good relationship with his mother or doesn't have any relationship with his mother in certain cases there are men who say you know I didn't have relationship with my mom so that really made me want to find a wife and treat her like a queen because I wanted to have a woman that I could love and most men their mom is the first woman that they love but in my case I didn't have that that's what the guy saying is not what I'm saying so I want to find a woman and love her and treat her like a queen so that she doesn't have to do what my mom did or if his mom passed away it may be hate I want to love a woman who has the spirit of my mom who is who reminds me of my mom just to honor her he made home with that that maybe a little you know spooky to you and he may not articulate that he may not articulate it verbatim he may say you kind of remind me of my mom and she passed away when I was six or when I was ten or when I was twelve I remember one guy I met he said he didn't believe in God because he lost his mom when he was young and he was like what kind of God would take your mom away and then I had to try to explain to him like God didn't take your mom away that's that's life like who would you be to not lose your mom like he everybody had to lose somebody we all gonna lose our mom and someday it just that was her story that was her life like that was that was her legacy and you have to let that make you better instead of making you bitter like you got to live in her honor you got a love and respect in her honor like don't don't get angry at God for life happening life happens on his home god not coming down and playing a puppet master and saying oh then take your mom today don't take care that's not how God operates so I had try to explain that to him and say look this is life this what like that happens in life we all have a day to go some of us are gonna live a week some of us gonna live a hundred years you know some gonna live 50 someone little 40 everybody has an expiration date and you got you can't take that out on God you know that's life happening and life happens and with life there's death so some men may have it like that to where they Harbor a pain and a resentment because their mom or their mama passed away then you may have the man who his mom was it was a bad situation she was dealing with drugs or she abandoned and so he may have a resentment toward women he may be hurt because the first woman he knew hurt him so now every woman after that has to pay a price so he may have a resentment for women and he may want to just use and just do what he does with women anyway he wants to do it now you gotta understand that and what I mean by understanding is you got to be mindful that this is a possibility so in your conversations you don't have to bring this up the first day and say hey how was how was your relationship with your mom you know you're just talking you know you're just talking y'all might talk about sports first and you may talk about politics and you may talk about religion then you may get to so you know what was it like in your family like growing up you know what was family life like for you and then he starts to tell you now you start to listen okay now you've started to listen now I remember in school learning about Oedipus complex you know which was kind of like the son wanting to marry his mama something like that maybe it was from Greek mythology and there are a lot of men who have it's not really a Oedipus complex in that sense but what it is it's kind of like you have what men are dealing with what a lot of women see going on and have to deal with really what it is is it's a it's a pure form of law that comes with no strings attached in a lot of cases now what some men don't realize is that their mom may be damaged it may be damaged so bad that she sees her son as a man to get over on and is if she takes the opportunity to manipulate and control her son because she couldn't manipulate and control his daddy his daddy could have been putting hands on her could have been cheating on her dogging her out and made her feel powerless so some moms take and getting their power and their control and their manipulation they take it out on their own son on their own children son or daughter but that's what some men don't realize is that the mom may be manipulating and using them knowing that she has a special place in his heart so his love for her is pure but she's so damaged she doesn't know how to the pure love and truly appreciated and she becomes greedy and she wants to get anything she can get from him and will use him and drain him and just suck him dry of all of his money all of his energy and all of his love and rendered him incapable of loving another woman and she's doing it all from her pain from her confusion from her brokenness from her abandonment and some men don't realize that if you got a brother or a boyfriend or ex boyfriend or a husband who needs to hear this part you might need to tell them hey fast-forward a minute number 15 or listen to the whole thing if you can to hear that some men get used and I've seen you know I've seen it and even my mom you know she'll come to me in I do something for and then the next day she asks for something else next day she asks for something else she need this you need this you need this you need this and I have to tell him like look my man God ain't got that bill just hang on better be paid because you should have done right with your money you know you you keep me a hand up hell done and your nails done and you're sending money to Africa there's a man you met on Facebook that's your problem you're gonna have to deal with that and that's how I tell and I tell mama you know like that curse on ya but I'm by mine because I'm a man I'm a grown man you feel me I'm not gonna be caught up in my love for my mama I love her I just put in a new house three bedroom two baths I bought uh I bought a new car two years ago I want to get another car now you know I got a Toyota Camry nice car I want to get all my safety pins I want to do for her I want to build her a house I want to do for her but everything got to come in due season and my wife she'll hold me accountable and say hey like slow it slow it down you know don't do too much at once make sure you can manage what you're already doing before you add to it that's a good wife I have to recognize her that that it ain't jealousy it ain't competition it's common sense it's wisdom and so what you're gonna have to realize is that some man is just there they wrapped up in their mamas trance they in her trance because she's so hurt and broken she just using him and she taking everything from him because she feel like everything has been taken from her and so what you have to realize about this man that he want to get his mama house he want to get his mom on car he want to pay all his mama bills he want to retire his mama he want to do all of that it's really showing you that's honestly a good thing he just has to make sure it doesn't become a toxic thing and some men will go without and I've been that man to where I send my accounting the negative to help my sister to help my mama and and I'm putting my family you know in harm's way but my thing was I know I'm I could make money tomorrow I always knew I could get up and go get it tomorrow so but they don't have my abilities to do what I could do they don't have what I what I got so if they broke they gonna probably stay broke but me I'm gonna go get him I'm gonna take care of mine and I've been able to manage that now that's not healthy and I grew to a point to where I stopped doing that although I could go and earn money I stopped doing that I stopped putting myself in stress and put myself in a bind to help family to help other people family or friends who mismanaged a money who able-bodied and could work but not but don't want to work or get a money and did mismanaging and that's a part of becoming a man that's a part of becoming a husband that's a part of being responsible so as a woman you may have to express this to a man at some point or let him hear from another man deep down he knows it but sometimes he needs to hear it and so what you gotta realize now his desire to bless his mama he's really jazz if he can keep it in healthy bounds it's a good thing because it shows you his heart of gratitude it shows you that he wants to repay and replenish those who have loved him purely and unconditionally that he wants them to have it all so that's a good thing because it lets you know as a woman that eventually he's gonna want the same thing for you but what you have to realize is it took 25 30 40 years for his mother to get to that place so you coming in as a stranger so you can't come in and expect in the first year that he's gonna love you the way he loved his mama on the same level although in a different way but on the same level you can't really expect that you may never be able to expect that it's always gonna be a different type of law because you are not his mama and then some women say well oh if a man treat his mama good that's a good sign that's not necessarily true that's not necessarily true it's always so you got to understand there are exceptions to some rules so what you have to realize in this situation is that the mama birf him and raise him clothe him and fear him so he may treat her like a queen but his uncle his daddy his brother his cousin taught him how to treat other women his mama maybe didn't talk to him about how to treat a woman because she wasn't worried about raising a husband she was worried about raising a man who don't get taken in the streets and she probably was not really focused on teaching him how to love and how to be a husband especially if she weren't happy in her own relationship situation so his teaching from on how to treat a woman could have come from his uncle could have come from his male cousin his brother you know or just me and that he watched if he didn't have any men in his life just looking the wrappers looking at the athletes going from woman to woman and so a man could treat his mama like a queen and then treat you like crap and so you can't go in and say oh man he's so sweet to his mom let me get on my back let me just drop my guard let me just open wild up cuz he treated mama like this I know he's gonna treat me good absolutely not he might treated mama like a queen and put hands on you because he taken all the rest of his pain from life I don't you and then the good in him he giving it to his mama cuz she gave him the good and her so you got to understand this so what you have to realize here is that you can't come in with a mindset to compete with the other women in his life what you gotta be is consistent you gotta be thorough you gotta be self respecting you gotta be strong you gotta have standards so what I mean by that is the way you get a man respect and you put yourself on the same level or higher than other women in his life is by being courteous and cordial nice sweet and kind but having your standards to wear you not letting him yell at you you not let him lie to you you not let him curse at you you not letting him cheat on you you not let him put hands on you you're not letting him drag you along you're not letting him use you you know let him move in and live off for you and not work you're not letting him borrow your car you're not giving him money for no business idea you making him earn every ounce of trust and respect from you you ain't rolling out no red carpet and let him prance in there like he'll celebrity and you standing on the sidelines snapping pictures like you paparazzi that ain't how you treat him but that's how most women treat men most women treat men like heal celebrity and Sheeta fan she paparazzi she worked for TMZ that's how most of women treat men so guess what the man is gonna put you in the mindset in the mind frame he has you he's looking at you like a doo girl he's looking at you like a footstool he's looking at you like a floor mat instead of like a queen and then because what you got to realize his sister gonna check him and she got to customize she gonna cuss him out his mama gonna check him see they don't fear him and that's why he respects them because they gonna hold him accountable when he doing something they don't like they gonna speak their mind and then he got to make his own judgement if where they speaking from if they speaking from selfishness or greed or ignorance or they speaking from love but they gonna check them every woman that coming today life that show weakness that show that she might be on something wrong they gonna let him know now they also if they've become territorial and they benefiting from him because he's a hard worker and he helps pay their bills and they know that this don't make no sense that he shouldn't have to be doing this they know that and they know they wouldn't want their man to be doing it for his mama or his sisters they're gonna get nervous so when you come into their life you have never done anything to them but you bout to take some of the airs because they know that if he marries you you come first and then if y'all have children your household comes first and that he can no longer help them with the 500 a month the 200 a month the the light bill caught an old car insurance water bill whatever he'd been helping them with day care he's been his sister's child support he's been his his mom on alimony spousal support severance pay reparations he's been that for them so when you come in you getting ready to take the hand that's feeding them you got to be holding the hand walking down the aisle that feeding them so if you hold in his hand he can't give handouts normal so they look at you like an intruder they look at you like the enemy and that's when they're gonna start to hate that's when they're gonna start to speak against you but guess what as long as he loving you and he's treating you right let him watch them he knows he doesn't want to believe that his sister or his the women friends that he had from high school or that he could be helping out financially to because he said that's his friend he doesn't want to believe or his mama he doesn't want to believe that they have bad intentions he don't want to believe that they using him he don't want to believe that they don't want to see him happy with another woman because that's gonna blot a blessings he don't want to believe that but if you stay classy and you say now think about this honestly what have I done to your sister what have I done to your mother what have I done to you other than love you I don't lie to you I don't cheat on you I don't use you I don't ask you for anything so really think about this really think about this and what this could really be about is it me or is it because my space in your life may limit you from being able to do all that you've been doing for them if we get married and we have children and now we want to put our children in private school we want to put our children in camps we want to travel the world and so that they can see other countries and other cultures those things may cost money those things will cost money and that money may mean that you may not be able to help friends and family in the same way that you've been helping do you think that could be a part of it because I've done absolutely nothing to your mother or your sister or to the woman that's your friend your friend over there that you were to high school with when you say that he may get upset he may storm off he may get defensive because nobody wants to find out that they're being used and what what family will do family will use you in the name of love family will feel in to your help in the name of love because we are blood you are obligated to help me that's how family will feel and that's not true everybody for itself everybody got choices to make and everybody for their self in God for all I tell I tell my mom and him I tell my sister name I say listen we serve the same God if he do it for me he could do it for you so you're gonna have to fix your heart you gonna have to fix your lifestyle because God had no respecter of persons he don't love me any more than he loved you I'm aligned for my blessings so you gonna have to adjust your heart posture you won't have to shift your mindset because you're nasty minded you're nasty hearted you feel entitled you're jealous you're greedy whatever it may be you blocking your own blessings so don't look at my blessings and feel like I owe you because God did this for me and he could do it for you get your life right and he's gonna pull out in your life that's why I tell my friends and family that's what I let them know listen I'm not the one and that's why I'm here today that's why I'm carrying the message because I learned it and I live it they did a a ain't afraid to tell nobody no yummy but a lot of men then called it they don't know this yet they don't understand this yet so they will enable people they will [ __ ] friends and family and in the name of making themselves feel good they will [ __ ] them in the name of making themselves feel good so instead of being supplemental help instead of watching a person do all that they could do okay let me see this person do all that he or she can do and if doing all that they could do doesn't put them in a comfortable space then I'm a help and but instead they let them take shortcuts and not do all they can do and then go rescue and bail them out and so that's what cause problems when you meet a man and he has that mentality that he is responsible for his mother for his sister when they are able-bodied and able to be responsible for themselves or his women friends now so when you just speak that a little bit of truth that I mentioned you speak that a little bit of truth to him and you could be single right now I meet and meet a man have to go through this so you still need this insight okay now you speak that a little bit of truth the key to be heard is to be calm not to yell not to curse not to cry but to be cool calm and collected and express yourself and speak facts and a lot of time women you get soul in your feelings to where your voice you start you know pant and your voice start to shake and tremble and you start to cry because you feel so wrong and it's making you so angry and you feel so helpless and you feel like he's on their side and he doesn't hear you so so guess what he cannot hear you because you're not cool calm and collected and articulating yourself so now that you crying now you look guilty now you look like you're guilty instead of being cool calm composed and able to express yourself on what could really be going on here and when you say that and you get that out and he hears you and you may have to say it every single time it comes up in the same way cool calm and collected guess what he may be defensive in front of you but he's gonna go to them and he's gonna make your argument known to them now he's making a mistake if he says it comes from you if he's wise he'll just pose the question or asked him that as if it's coming from him now sometimes men will put their girlfriend or their wife against their mother or sister in order to see the women fighting over him it's his insecurities and wanting to feel special that's immaturity that's insecurity and ultimately he pays the greatest price for that because he may end up losing love and he may end up losing love on both sides so that's on him that's a mistake so he if you see that he may be a fry short of a happy meal then you may have to express that to him and say listen now if you ask him this don't put this on me because we will never live that down they will hate me even more but if you asked him this or if you look into it do it so do so from your own perspective and in your own words don't put it on me and so he may have a sense now here's the thing if you see that you've met a man that uses girlfriend's in his life just as a footstool as a floor mat and he only really cares about his mother his sister and the women friends that he has y'all got forgive my getting blurred on it and the women friends that he has then now you know that this man is immature he's not for you if you see that this man continuously puts you against them and them against you then now you know this man is immature and he's not the man for you okay the lashes overall fleet I must my wife must be giving me some hair and nail growth pills lashes always heal fly and so now you realize this man is immature so never go into a space and you're gonna know within the first six months if this man fend to put you in competition with the other women in his lives in his life now this what you got to understand here mama and sister that's blood let him do for them what he want to do for them as long as it ain't hurting you and it and you could tell it's not gonna hurt y'all like if y'all if you marry him that he's not gonna have you eating ramen noodles and have his mom and sister eatin steak and shrimp let him do for them what he want to do for them if he can afford it let him do that and you ain't gonna have no problems don't out of jealousy say oh you can't buy your sister house buy your mama house getting them a car if he making money and he can't afford it let him do that because that's on him now if he got you eating ramen noodles and skipping meals to help them that's a different story so never come into a situation trying to compete with a man's mother or sister because you already hold a different place in his heart you already represents something totally different so don't do that now the women friends that right there that's where you get to put your foot down he got all these friends from high school from college okay no papi we're gonna have to end this here all right all this here Cuddy friend this ain't no blood your sister ain't gonna sleep with you yo mama ain't gonna sleep with you but all these women over here every last one on will get on a bike and someone you probably not already had on their back and don't want to tell me some um y'all probably already didn't kiss the head you a little fling that's one thing that I can't do no women friends if if you the woman you coming in and he he cannot move them from daily conversations to birthdays and holidays keep going about your business because what that means is he loved one of them friends and he waiting on his opportunity to sleep with her or to be with him and he has a soul time with him one of them women friends could be a ex-girlfriend from middle school Highschool that he has love for he'll never tell you he'll never tell you cuz he know you're gonna be territorial he know you're gonna be confrontational he know you're gonna be jealous about it so he may never tell you but you got to know for you and you got to trust your intuition now if you not on any type of substances that altered the state of your mind then your intuition it will never lie to you your intuition will let you know what's up with him and these so called friends he may I don't really see it I've never really seen it he may be capable of having a woman friend and I see this how you're gonna be able to check that one to know if she really a friend because if a woman is a man's friend she's gonna assume her proper position when he gets in a relationship she's not gonna be calling him after nine o'clock or before 9 a.m. she's not gonna be you know texting him all the time calling him every day trying to hold him on the phone 30 minutes 45 minutes she's going to pull back she may reach out to him once a week but to be honest which is she not even gonna be doing that because she weren't about her man and trying to get her a relationship now when she want to be calling him every day she want to be talking to him all the time she want to be calling him after-hours you know phone calls that dark she's not a friend she trying to keep her position because she love this man and she hoping that one day he will see her value and he will see her as the woman who's been by his side supporting him through thick and thin and that all these girlfriends that he'd been introduced to her and he didn't brought in the picture none of them loved him as much as she loved him she trying to keep her position she's not no friend you will be able to tell that with your intuition he already knows that but this is a thing man you're this ground-level man right here most men live right here in their insecurity beneath the ground it's hard for a man to get ground level and it's extremely hard for a man confidence to get up here so most men they need a female friend they need a fan they need this woman to be their friend to be their fan because she treating him like a fangirl and she'll say little stuff every night then she'll say you so amazing you so amazing your girlfriends these women you date they don't even deserve you you are so amazing I wish my Noddy had boyfriend do half for me what you what you doing for Jessica and they'll say stuff like that every now and then and he like that he need that he want that affirmation and it feels different coming from over here then coming from you you could say the same thing you could say you know what you are so amazing you are so amazing the way you treat me the way you love me you are so amazing you could say the same thing but he won't hear it the same as he hears it from her because he gonna expect it from you because he's sleeping with you or he living with you or he dating you so he gonna say to himself are you just saying that just so you could keep getting more you just saying that but she's saying it's over here out of pure this to her heart because she don't get anything from me so he's gonna hear it different from her but that's why she's saying that though cuz she kind of shooting her shot and he know it not he knows that she got a thing for him he knows that if he really want to shoot that shot he probably could shoot that shot and get her or or it's the other way around or it's the point where she is the bomb she to see the bombshell she the boss wanted she is Miss it and he is look ugly to her now he look good to you cuz you might see beauties inaudible older so it might look decent to you he might be handsome to you but to her he loved other because she got multimedia now she with scheana had athletes she de had two rappers scheana had she had to start quarterback in high school she had to start player in college then she got the money man she began dog died she been getting mistreated or she might got the politician she might got the businessman who make you know many hundreds of thousands or millions and he is her friend she got to keep him a secret his name is Betty in her phone or Pizza Hut and her man is cheating on her so he had her man not checking her phone cuz he's doing his thing he big ball player from the Himalaya and she keeping your man as her friend because that's her pure and genuine love because yo man like her your man sniffing her booty like a dog in heat you know when you see the dog and he run up to the other dog and he and the dogs always sniffing each other booty that's what your man doing to her so anything she need he's sending her love gifts and she's saying it comes from her friend Jessica he sent her gifts on her birthday so you're so sometimes you got that you got to pay attention now because it might not be the friend trying to be in your man like it be your man trying to be in her life because he hoping dad Odell Beckham jr. ultra sinker is your elbow whoever's she didn't with he hoping that demand cheat on her and hurt her so bad that she's so vulnerable that she says she going to home on my house to get her break and she go to a hotel and he could go over there and sit with and talk with rob a bike massage and let me give you a massage they've been knowing each other 10 15 years and she's vulnerable next thing you know they look in the eyes and I think you know they kissing that thing you know in a getting what he can [ __ ] you hit me so when it come to the wind my friends got to go gotta go when you come to them women friend got to go I don't have any women friends I had women clients okay two lions if you're a woman and you're talking to me and you're not my blood at some point or another you don't Ram me a check but you got to run me a check because it's a business transaction just a business relationship you may have my text message but this is a business relationship I don't have women friends that's a danger zone and your man should not have women friend my wife don't have male friends some y'all women wanna have a male friend guess what you never gonna have a real man you will have a man that's cheating on you your man need to be your friend every other man it need to be by business because guess what it's human nature it's human nature on kill how mature you think you will and you could be mature as you want to be but you still got feelings you'll never know when your heart gonna be vulnerable enough for this person to shoot they shot and you fall for it on a scene I'd heard I've done it I don't care about what you're talking about oh well that's my friend and we he'd never tried me and we've never done anything okay never say never it could happen tomorrow it can happen next week oh he would never do that yeah hush you don't know what you're talking about I'm a man I'm here to tell you it ain't no such thing anyways as a man being a woman friend there's no such thing there's no such thing a lot of y'all think that but see that's because y'all don't know oh I've been his friend for 10 years okay 15 years might be when he shoot his shot cuz he got all the women he sleeping with other women so he could take his time with you you you like wine the longer he let you wait the longer he let you wait the better you gonna taste you like wine some men could wait 2025 years before they put it on a woman and what you didn't realize is you thought cuz y'all been friends for 10 years 15 years that is pure and what you don't realize is that he has been breaking you down every year he know you getting a little bit more softer spot for him and eventually it might be when it might be when he's 69 it might be when he 69 and he know he got by one more year that thing really ever even work and he said okay it's time to shoot the shot I've been a friend for 30 years 950 years it's time I got to get it and then he come right on over there hey what's up and nine the been so long you like what the heck I'm single all the men I have been with and cheated on me I he'd been the man of my dreams been right under my nose all my life I might as well off boom trust me when I tell you okay trust me when I tell you could you could argue with me now you're gonna be apologizing to me later Tony you was right I didn't I thought it was never a possibility because we have been friends for 20 years Tony you was right your 25 year 30 he came on to me he forcefully kissed me tried to take my clothes off huh what I told you there's no such thing as a man being a woman friend if that man is a heterosexual man it ain't no such thing at some point he gonna be inappropriate he gonna get out of line and if he don't want to lay down with you he might want you to sing on a microphone and if you don't want you to sing on the microphone he might want to eat some peach cobbler he gonna get out of line trust when I tell you so guess what when you get with a man all the women friends if he don't move them to a back seat you got to let him know hey listen I'm not really gonna be able to do this because I'm a woman and I know women I know you call that pure I know you call that genuine but and if he said no I can't do that I got to talk to her every day that's my friend we didn't been there I got told her every day or at least every other day we talk all the time that's my best friend okay nice meeting you nice meeting y'all have a nice life going about your business going about your business he loved her he want to be with her because let me tell you this right here when it come down to a man and his wife it ain't no oh my I couldn't I could not care less about a woman friend I could not care less about a friend a male or a female friend you hear me I know when you talk to males like that only because I've got my friend my wife is my best friend that's what matter to me because that's one building a legacy with that's one building financial freedom with that's one raising my kids with that's one more travel the world with that's who I'm growing oh wait anywhere I know free I got a friend in Jesus so when you meet a man and he act like him and his friend is Siamese twins and he can't let her go go yo business you hit me don't play with it do not play with it Get gone I'm telling you now you're gonna have a head ache listen to me and it's gonna be a dominate it's gonna be a bike aid it's gonna be every kind of ache in the world if you meet a man and he got a women friends and he don't get distance from them to wear them friends that need to be happy birthday Happy Easter Happy Hanukkah Merry Christmas Happy New Year that's what that's what she need to be yet or emergency hey can you call the police on board and punch me in the eye that's what she need to be calling him other than that so listen to me if certain battles that you can fight in something you got to walk away from with the moment with the sister you're gonna have to just be you you will have to love him you have to be confident you won't have to be consistent you won't have to be secure with you can speak your mind if you feel like they take an advantage you can speak your mind now he gonna get defensive he gonna get upset but guess what ain't nobody got a man here and nobody got a man here the way my wife told me all that moisture Rises this seven step face routine she got she told me it's gonna soak in I'm still over here looking like a pot of Crisco and so listen to me the man eventually is going to realize that what you said is true you're gonna see it he's gonna see it and I gotta ask myself as a man why I want to do so much for my sister for my mama well I want to get number a nice car nice house why do I want to do that and it's just because out of pure love it's like if I'm doing better than them and we come from the same blood you know same blood coursed through our veins I don't want to see them struggle I want to see them do good but at the same time as a man I want to see them do for themselves I want to see them be humble enough to work and to work hard and to manage their money and if they work hard and they manage their money and I happen to get in a different industry because I have a different mindset and I have different skill set so in my industry literally and what I do I can earn millions of dollars a month in what I do if I get to a certain point in my life to where you know I have a large following like Oprah you know and I have a course that costs $1,000 if a thousand people buy that thousand dollar course in a month that could earn a million dollars my sister and Mama they they own a group home that one group home is never going to make them X amount of dollars is only going to make them so much money so if it got three bedrooms that's three people that can live in the group home and then they maybe can add transportation but that's gonna cap out they can add to home health nurses that's going to the people houses but that has a cap it and the more so it's a difference there so sometimes your man may be in a position that his mama can never be in or his sister can never be in and he wants to bless them because his mama raised him his sister supported him so he want to be a blessing to them I could relate to that I'm a man but as a man he has to have boundaries so for example I'm helping my mom right now so this month we probably spent twelve thirteen thousand dollars on my mama you know helping her get into a new house get the furniture you know do all of that my sister got a job she make full time money she owned the company I took and put my sister in position with one of my partners who has group homes I asked him hey look I help you in your situation your career help you with your book you know show you how to do a book show you what it's like to set up a tour to do a tour as a speaker I help you if you help my sister him and his wife help my sister get in position so I put her in position to fee herself that's what a man has to have wisdom to do too so not my sister boom she a year in and could be making ten twelve thousand dollars a month when coming from making a few hundred a week so I I called that plate to put her in position put a few dollars up to help her get sick get the group home situated probably later this year may buy a van for transportation but I'm teaching her how to fish instead of just fishing and feeding her so she come to me she just got into a new house I know she got the money so I let her do put down the money to get into the house I didn't give her the money cuz I said you got it you I put you in position you didn't did the work you got the money you do it and then she said well I can't afford all the furniture okay you got the necessities y'all got a bed to sleep in you got TVs on the wall get your furniture over time each month so that's what I told her I'm not gonna go and you see I'm helping our mama I'm not fitting to take more money from my family when I'm already taking a whole bunch of money to help my mama get in position but then once she'd get in position okay she's gonna be cool so as a man I had to take and tell my sister listen no I don't have the money for to get you pictures for your wall no no that's not a necessity you make the money to pay all your bills I'm gonna be a blessing to you once a month I give my sister some money my mama some money my daddy some money the reason why is because I know that they may never make the money that I made and they may never be in that position but I'm not going beyond that to stress myself out I'm starting my dad a business right now so we building his business I'm gonna get him in the office I'm already to pay for his trainings so he training he's certified he ready to go and so in his financial company you know doing credit repair and helping people budget being a budget coach he already life coach he on my mentor I created my mentor that life that's helping feed my daddy is making him the extra money every month that he needs in his retirement he get a retirement check so this what a man has to do as a husband for his family to take care his main family but being a son and a brother he gonna want to help his family so don't try to compete with his family but you need to make sure that demand that you trust him the man that you gonna marry got the sense to know how to teach his family how to fish instead of just feeding them all the time teach them how to fish make sure they going to the to the lake the fish make sure they actually going and not just sleeping all day and then a man got to get to a place he need to be able to get to the place to where he's okay saying no where he's okay saying hey I can't do that that don't make sense you know I got a family to take care of I got a legacy to build so no it's not to where I could take care of my family then all my excess I give the y'all no I got to put up an inheritance for my children for my for my grandchildren for my lineage and you need to learn how to do the same for yours because I didn't bring you into the world I have to let my mom and my mom and daddy know I didn't bring y'all into the world y'all brought me into the world so I want to be a blessing but I can't be solely responsible and my dad ain't never asked me for nothing so I only have to tell him that you know he's never asked me for anything my sister I let her know I didn't bring you in the world you got a daddy he's still living he brought you in the world you his responsibility I got kids I brought into the world Charlotte I heard no I helped you as I can but I can't be your soul Bell I don't just look to me and so I had to create new boundaries for my own mental health and sanity and then for my family's sake make sure my family taken care of and so and I helped and I've given tens of thousands of dollars to my family tens of thousands we probably approaching a hundred K might might be they don't know but I've given tens of thousands how the leaf going closer to 50 if not but I try to do supplemental and just that just deal look pushing to live a little more comfortable but I can't carry you cuz you got legs and they worked so I can't carry you cuz I'm climbing the mountain and I got my family on my back who I'm responsible to the woman I'm responsible to unto the death do us part and the kids that I'm responsible to my whole life so they on my back so listen I could throw you a rope over there that you can latch on and I can show you how to climb but you're gonna have to climb so make sure that when you're going to this situation with this man that he understand what it mean to be a man what it mean to be a husband what it mean to be a provider and that the women in his life that they know they role in a place and he knows their role in a place so that you don't have to live a life of stress and turmoil and competition with other women eight is Tony Gaskins and I know i'ma come this far I got her get over here for an hour somebody gonna say well Tony what about if his baby mama you let me talk a hole out and you're gonna hit him with that question I try to find a video for it but I think a lot of its gonna apply the same way hey god bless you we'll talk soon

Channel: Tony Gaskins

Views: 89,104

Rating: 4.9241705 out of 5

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Id: aY-lRh_gbsM

Length: 59min 51sec (3591 seconds)

Published: Thu May 21 2020