STUPID FACEBOOK POSTS #5

oh here we go what a lovely picture this is hate to say this but I almost think we need another 911 too many people have forgotten the first one it's coming but I think along with it will bring civil war I think we need another one of those also today in math class I had the urge to fart I had the bright idea that if I drop my textbook and farted at the same time nobody would hear it I dropped my textbook everyone looked at me then I farted loudly ping 398 m/s when you miss your girlfriend's so much you go crazy but you cut her hair and kept some so she's never really gone oh my god my sister-in-law died in a fire her Bible was beside her bed on a stand not a burn mark on the Bible awesome miracle from God please post is a nun how many boxes of laxatives does it take to self-abort I'm desperate please help Wow I asked for this post to be anonymous I don't think it works like that Microsoft do trust them people they harvest your data and give it to the NSA open your eyes that's why I don't use their stuff huh you've a PC and you bought your son an Xbox one ahh my PC is made by Dell which uses Windows and against machine is made by Xbox neither of them used Microsoft I do my research unlike you both Windows and Xbox are made by Microsoft do your research you're blind to the truth I'm out thanks boys literally have zero excuse for not having communication skills because I've seen your playgroup video games and you described where you're at like it's life or death mmm well it's a lot easier to say shotgun in the East hallway than it is to say my crippling anxiety is ruining this relationship for sale we have a gaming chair slightly stained pickup only fifty dollars the Facebook marketplace never fails to impress I post my boyfriend you search him you find him you date him you have spots with him I sneak it to your home I find you I hospitalized you you end up in ICU I sneak in I switch off the machine you die they cry I laugh they bury you I took you out I take you home I cook you I feed you to my neighbor's dog they eat you I poison them they also die I burn them case closed simple as that hashtag stolen this is perfectly normal behavior for when someone steals your boyfriend's happens all the time nobody seriously I find the emojis just make this post so much more sinister somebody who uses that many emojis probably would do this kind of thing and one day when the doctors are stumped and can't help cure your problem then you'll turn to a whole food plant-based diet to cure yourself the raw vegan diet has a 95% success rate for curing cancer the other 5% simply don't want to live eight shares eight other people on planet earth actually decided to share this message Wow remember guys if you have cancer all you have to do is become a vegan 95 percent success rate of curing cancer that's incredible Walter White could have literally saved himself so much time and hassle if he'd had just become a vegan I'm the type that will stab my boyfriend up and sit in the emergency room of her all night and take care of his ass when he gets released I'm bored I'm chalk we should get together boards like I don't have anything to do not bored like a chalkboard learn to spellcheck Oh God I hope you don't breed is it ever okay to steal someone else's baby name my friend stole my baby's name but I ended up stealing her husband so who's the real winner in the end Sandra so I learned a $125 lesson today that I'd love to share if you park your car in a handicapped spot even though it's pouring down rain and it's directly in front of your house they will tell you you're welcome I don't think anyone else was under the impression that if it's raining heavily like you could just park wherever you want and you're not gonna get a ticket no definitely $125 advice right there guys super enlightening happy 2019 birthday to the oldest and greatest country you're not just wrong you're stupids New Hampshire students will now receive free tampons and pads in school restrooms I am sorry I'm just going to go ahead and say this picture offends me really it's there no decency today could we not as adults deal with things in a more appropriate way and no my head is not in the sand I just believe some things are done in private sheesh just grow up so my boyfriend dared me to put a ping-pong ball or two up my diner and I did and now I can't get it out and like help updates nothing works like trying to scoop it out and push it up more squatting and coughing and sneezing I nearly pissed myself so I literally took a dump and it came out alcohol and ping-pong balls what's the [ __ ] is wrong with some of you like seriously had a lady who measured her baby's temperature by preheating the oven and putting one hand in front of it while the other hand was on the baby's forehead she told the nurse her baby's fever was about 250 degrees they told you to moon as a solid object but it disappears every month the moon you see is a holographic projection and not I repeat is not a solid object we live inside a giant planetarium unpopular opinion voting should be restricted to adults landowners with families and not to anyone who turns 18 racist noun someone who wins an argument against her liberal not gonna lie I'm racist in fact I'm the biggest racist I know hashtag I do kinda win a lot just lost custody of my kids summer is about to be freakin Lidz haha man those emojis are just that icing on the cake today did not go as planned we were packing to leave for my in-laws when my son found his way into my husband's meds spent 6 hours in the ER for observation and now we've been in the car 3.5 hours already with two hours still to go when days like today happen I'm so thankful for my nutrition dense shake it's an easy grab and go lunch or snack that provides a full serving of my daily nutrients helps with stress and curbs my sweet tooth it's my favorite go-to treat every day what is your favorite go-to nutritious snack yeah this mother is definitely one of those girls on Instagram who has influencer in their bio even though they have like 25 followers oh my god shout out to my 36 followers don't forget to use the code fainted when buying g fuel except in their case they'd probably be promoting flat tummy tea or some other rubbish like that sadly today i got the bad news that my cancer has returned and there's no treatment that will help me it's time for me to enjoy what time i have left on this planet plant-based diets give it a try seriously what's up with people on facebook and cancer treatments they say the treatment of cancer is being hidden away at area 51 but i beg to differ it's actually being hidden away in the mind of 35 year old facebook mom judy posting mini memes by day curing cancer by night I don't approve of tattoos mainly it is written in the Christian Bible not to mark your body I love you'd wait but this is the only thing I do not approve of it is your choice of course love in the rock it also says not to pierce your ears or get a divorce but one click on your profile shows you've obviously pick and choose which parts of the bible fits your agenda Wow Chuck Norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open so he took it back the next day for a refund oh my god how the heck is she alive cat milk $6.00 fresh cat milk for sale I just milk them this morning a little bitter because they were strays but not bad with cereal six dollars per quart prices firm as it's good quality milk my wife and I've been to Subway three times never got what we ordered and it would never go there again dude you're an idiot you're standing there watching them make it and you didn't get what you wanted and you did it not once but three times what contraception is everyone on I currently only have sex at night when the sperm is asleep just don't want another baby yet I'm sorry but if a America has a spare $870,000 to display tanks in a parade it can afford to give kids in detention centers soap toothpaste and adequate living conditions you do the crime you do the time what's up guys it's PewDiePie and thank you so much for watching this video I really hope you did enjoy and if you're new around here make sure you jump into the stupid Facebook posts playlist we've got a bunch of other episodes that you need to catch up on and aside from that and pretty much just subscribe to this channel follow me on twitter at linked is sad and that is it have a great day guys and brofist [Music]

Channel: Fainted

Views: 1,313,056

Rating: 4.9272289 out of 5

Keywords: memes, facebook, posts, meme, stupid facebook posts, facebook memes, facebook fails, facebook posts, dumb facebook posts, dumbest facebook posts, dumbest facebook posts ever, facebook fail, funny, funny posts, funny facebook, fainted

Id: QcpPOi4SQa4

Length: 10min 25sec (625 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 01 2019