Scientist Man's Plan to Save Star Wars

hello its me scientist man after the recent disaster that was so low a Star Wars story I was hired by Disney Kathleen Kennedy NASA and Denny's to help find a mathematical solution to fix the problem Star Wars is broken yeah solo is a box office disaster what have you been living under a rock yes Dwayne Johnson rents out his basement to me it's quite well furnished oh wait wait wait so solo was a disaster the three other people of my theater seemed to enjoy it correct its worldwide box-office tick is currently only at 315 million dollars Wow with that kind of money I could rent mr. Johnson's whole house if you consider the original budget then add more money for reshoots than even more money for advertising costs plus the theater chains take they probably lost hundreds and hundreds of millions of dollars whoo boy you know it'd be really terrible time for them to announce something stupid like that Boba Fett movie Oh boba fett at least Han Solo is a likable character with a personality and a face Boba Fett has no face and he barely talks if people won't go to see a han Solo movie well then you see Disney can still produce terrible boring fanservice riddled filth but still maintain financial success how's that scientist man let me explain what the current worldwide average movie ticket price is eight dollars and 97 cents we'll round it up to nine dollars for simplicity sake nine dollars does that include nachos popcorns and candy popcorns popcorn is plural already not including any movie theaters take of solos worldwide box-office gross and using a very simplified mathematical equation I estimate roughly 35 million people saw solo a Star Wars story Wow that never sucks and out of that 35 million 73 percent is die-hard Star Wars fans the rest of that figure comprises of moderate Star Wars fans average moviegoers and perverts now when they make the inevitable boba Fett movie then fire their director then hire a new director then reshoot the Boba Fett movie and then have a desperate tie in with Denny's to sell tickets to disgusting people by then the movies budget will have certainly surpassed 500 million dollars oh god it's gonna happen again isn't it oh my god Star Wars can't take another hit like that scientists men how do we save Star Wars my solution is this when the boba fett movie comes out Star Wars fatigue will have surely set in which means we'll have lost the moderate Star Wars fans average moviegoers and perverts which leaves us with the diehard fans 73 percent precisely it's roughly 25 point five million so my solution is to make Boba Fett and potentially all future Star Wars films and theaters an exclusive ultimate limited-edition fan event experience and then to see the film we charge each person between 150 and 200 dollars no no wait I think he's right some of those weird disgusting people will pay that much to see the movie that man is correct hi guys my research has uncovered that grown adults annually spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars on toys costumes and travel expenses - go - embarrassing Star Wars related events in fact the hardcore Star Wars fan base tends to be bearded males aged 30 to 50 with an above average to high income why does it matter if they're bearded who would pay that much to see a movie I could pay $10 to just see a different movie like life of the party with Melissa McCarthy our show dogs you know Billy annually some people spend upwards of $500 a ticket to see such musical access Paul McCartney the Rolling Stones or Fleetwood Mac meanwhile other artists could barely get $10.00 ahead for their shows I'm talking about acts like the smashing pumpkins or froggy fresh how embarrassing who know Rolling Stones as long as the consumer feels as if they've been part of an exclusive Star Wars related event they will pay a hundred dollars or more per ticket now have you two been paying attention what do you remember the 73 percent figure I mentioned earlier if Disney could just convince those particular people to pay $100 or more to see Boba Fett a Star Wars story they will have walked away with the cool 2.5 billion dollars or they could just make a good movie I'm afraid that's not an option so how do those dreaded sjw's factor into the watch [Music] [Applause]

Channel: RedLetterMedia

Views: 1,272,068

Keywords: redlettermedia, red letter media, red, letter, media, plinkett, half in the bag, mike stoklasa, jay bauman, rich evans, Star Wars, Solo: A Star Wars story, Scientist Man, Disney

Id: XQmKabdArUg

Length: 6min 20sec (380 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 15 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/Heraclitus94]

"Perverts"

Zooms in on Rich Evans

[u/AkiraIsGreat]

Funny. To an extent, it reminds me of the 2013 interview with Steven Spielberg and George Lucas about the future of movies.

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/steven-spielberg-predicts-implosion-film-567604

Steven Spielberg on Wednesday predicted an "implosion" in the film industry is inevitable, whereby a half dozen or so $250 million movies flop at the box office and alter the industry forever. What comes next -- or even before then -- will be price variances at movie theaters, where "you're gonna have to pay $25 for the next Iron Man, you're probably only going to have to pay $7 to see Lincoln."

[u/Minscota]

Sad thing is this would most likely work if they threw in swag bags full of cheap collectible shit.

[u/nikosuave_]

Scientist man is the key to all of this...

[u/[deleted]]

Well shit if Denny's is asking for him to help out.

[u/KelloPudgerro]

OMG they mentioned froggy fresh......dunno how to feel about this

[u/Delta_Assault]

It’s interesting how this Scientist Man video is allowed to stay here, while the Scientist Man video about the Ghostbusters reboot wasn’t.

[u/Slack_Irritant]

Did you know Mike Stoklasa believes ghosts are real?

[u/[deleted]]

These guys are national treasures. Oh and there is Jay.