r/TIHI · THAT'S NOT CHICKEN

the awkward moment when you realize you just ruined your feet for the summer on the first sunny day of spring i think this would be pretty funny i'd call my feet swiss cheese hello everybody welcome back to easy peasy my name's cougar and today we're going to be diving on into r slash thanks i hate it we accept mastercard discover visa u homosexuals can be exchanged for goods and services all right then oh i actually kind of like this cause like this guy's fully committed to this cosplay 10 out of 10 my dude oh it's the obsessed girlfriend in real life next to all those pictures of her i had all this ground meat and made a meat baby now no one wants to eat and all the kids won't stop screaming why mother why i like how the diapers made of bacon i'd eat that bacon section though that is some like premium cooked bacon favorite new thing scratching hunting things into bananas at the market so when people take them home hours later and the words appear they think a ghost knows their secret i know what you did you ate my fellow nanners all right just gonna grab a beer real quick ah now to sit back and relax oh you're just giving all your blood all right oh no that's a little scary there bud hi i'm human bob squinge pear hey i bake bread i give thousands of yeast organisms false hope by feeding them sugar which is really nice before ruthlessly baking them to death in an oven and eating their corpses but it's all gosh darn delicious my dog just got surgery because he thought a ligament in his knee so they had to shave him and now you can see his little butt crack oh look at the little puppy butt crack don't look at my butt crack photos ghostbusters visit cancer patients at children's hospitals spawn camping i i don't think these are the ghostbusters people wanted to visit anyway let's be honest please be chicken please be chicken when you take a bite from the pizza and the cheese stretches from the slice oh look at the lady in the back like ew that's hot barber what cut do you want starts coughing say no more you got the kovid cut baby it's croc man a clockman wears a pair of croc shoes is he made of shoe or are his shoes made of flesh he screams for a he does not know why fresh bloat active advanced decay dry remains yeah if we could get rid of that middle one that'd be great man who lost penis to blood infection has new one built on his arm why why why um pro tip for parents don't buy the finding dory nightlight when you turn it on in the dark this happens and it will steal your child's soul my sister randomly leaves drawings like this around our house yeah yeah you might want to get your sister a therapist oh look it's a little kid's draw oh dear god what did he do to the hummingbird holy crap hey guys big bird laid an egg another egg and another one another one yeah keep pulling those eggs kiddos one of these things is not like the other one of them's michael jackson and a bunch of faces hair formers haircuts in disguise hair formers more than meets the eyes happy father's day big brother eh happy father's oh no no no no no no no me at home the fear of my parents dying in a car crash because they've been grocery shopping for 10 minutes longer than they said it would be take them oh god it's catching me no man now yes i am minecraft steve with human fingers isn't the long raptor claw on the foot oh so that's how they made that meme seriously though whoever recreated this did a really good job except with the neck that's just creepy there is a method of growing rhubarb known as forcing where the plant grows in complete darkness and is tended to in candlelight it grows so quickly during this process that you can hear it grow into your brain hey yo dawg you hungry yeah i uh i hate this would you hate it less with mayonnaise well throw a little bit of ketchup on there and you got yourself a sandwich over here no no no no no no no no don't put animals facing forward on animals doo doo me coming home to my gamer wife and children greatest of kicks everyone score any sick head shots today oh thank you honey i love a bowl of soda soup please don't get triggered if i don't like it this time zelda sweeney you've hardly touched your dorados what's got you so butthurt god they're called doritos mom this post is cursed and i want you to delete it from mr wayne sir hey you didn't have to do that you're like a brand new what the hell is this dad i mean batman i mean bruce go on put it on for bat daddy give him a little spin i want to see how you look please kill me i don't want to live anymore there is only one phrase to sum up this picture go oh i see we've got the uh spider-man netflix adaptation looking pretty good yup yup not creepy at all oh god it's humaning can we go out and make a human oh god imagine all the blood that's fallen okay hear me out booty implants but with beads so when you twerk you got maracas boom money maker i'm sorry miss jackson i ain't for eels never meant to make your daughter cry i am several fish and not a girl not tonight i have ketchup okay oh is that supposed to be her like bad times what's wrong going to save the princess again again that's the third time this month i don't understand now she gets kidnapped so much meanwhile he still believes the kidnap story yeah yeah what can i say he's italian except where it counts hey there baby give a little sunflower a kiss you wish 14 000 people are having sex right now 25 000 are kissing 50 000 are hugging and you while you're reading this mug trust me i'm not happy about it either that joke's on you i've never kissed anybody so this is a natural day for me screw you mug it started out with a kiss how did it end up like this oh hello oh god i wish i had longer legs your wish is my command i wish i was dead okay nah nah that's pretty cool i'll give this car 10 out of 10. this is the best man bun ever i do trump we look pretty fly like this i can't do obama or george w bush so uh yeah man buns no thank you on the presidents okay okay i've got a mask okay your belly button is just your old mouth ah i was having a good day we were all having a good day okay let me just no no no no no no no oh i don't feel good oh i've ripped my insides out hey what if your nipples clicked in and out like a pen that'd be pretty fun actually i'd be that guy poking it all the time in class annoying everyone else playful otters human sperm don't wiggle new 3d images shows men's sperm spin like playful others reversing nearly 350 years of scientific knowledge twist oh my wait no i ain't ready for that i need to stop with the sexual noises yes it is i human santa dog come give me pet woof woof i am not monster she sneezed during a panoramic selfie photo this is the greatest thing ever and this guy not only does he wear those chicken leg socks but if he's literally only pressing 245 plates you do got chicken legs and he really does look how small they are when rona ends and we can finally blast each other with particles again so how was your covenant that was pretty good got locked inside but doing better now okay the scene in lady and the [ __ ] but as our lips me i carry on sucking you feel the pasta travel back up your throat my pasta my pasta apple banana freak you orange you're hard to peel strawberry grape i love you all oh but you're easy to feel oh so easy to peel now remember if you're gonna whiz in the park we're gonna cut your balls off you all want a glass of pilk no no i don't it literally curdles it oh you got some alcoholic ice pops wait a second that's not how alcohol works i'm on you when you turn 100 you get a letter from the queen and when you turn 16 you get the text from prince andrew i don't believe that's true but okay bae i'm coming over to eat that booty tonight you using ranch this time or strawberry come on guys just talk about like killing people or something so human do you think you are safe well you're never safe strawberry brownies i thought this was salmon and i still ate them sagen can i please make one thing ugh fine satan have a lamper eel everybody it's an eel that looks like a leech and is more closely related to one and is terrifying raggy i'm scared oh how about a scooby snack scoob the gang tears up as the vet proceeds with the usual names oh god why'd you have to do that raggy right right sweets i'm sorry scoob okay um do these shoes make you run faster or something or are they just stupid like they look stupid when your uncle eats your dad off a cliff so you freak your cousin and eat bugs with a raccoon and a pig this is the circle of is he gonna be chill are you his bae yup we trying to do all the fleet crap we could but he peaced out forever dog such bad fights that's bad bad vibes just frick girl you eat 4 20 plays at firm bro but jackie rose oh god no i don't even know what to do for this this is just bad look at this snoopy no there is so much wrong with the photos the most being why are you wearing socks in the pool i can't wait to be a proud confederate like dad bro we are in a dead raccoon welcome to the south y'all yeah come here mr raccoon no but seriously i lived in the south for a long time it's nothing like this but okay then spider goose spider goo hot and sticky spider goo it gets made in my gut then it squirts out my butt oh god here comes my spider goo just eat me you freak i want to die oh but i've got so much more goo for you me during 10 miles above the speed limit bmw driver get out of the way okay no that is the best cenobite mask i've ever seen if you don't know what a santa bite is go look up hellraiser not the remake though watch the original therapy expensive time consuming you'll cry during sex with me free will barely dent your schedule you probably won't cry till after the choice is yours lady did you design this for me because uh i'm taking any customers like i'm so sad with my life teenagers in real life oh it's tough i'm on my way to school let's go bro teenagers on netflix twerk twerk twerk while i look in the oven twerk twerk twerk twerk dumbo's ears are low-key look like thick anime girl thighs no no you ruined knee socks for me knee socks was my favorite panty in stocking girl what did you do very unsettling threats i will boil your teeth i swear to god i will fill your sinuses with urine i will invert your ribcage i will squeeze your kneecaps i'm going to harvest your toes i will pour some meat into your ears this is by no means a complete list please feel free to add what you like i'm gonna watch you while you're awake breaking news say goodbye to comfort breaks new downward tilting toilets are designed to become unbearable to sit on after five minutes they say the main benefit is to employees in improved employee productivity oh oh really well you think this is going to stop me i'll be laying on that bad boy tiny door tiny toilet i'm not sure i could fit because i got a big booty for a guy but still that that that that's pretty cool in a way what if your name was tony but spelled tonga like bologna holy crap tony baloney over here i know i said balonga but it was a joke finger scissors finger paint brush finger hammer ooh licky licky paintbrush when two people kiss they create a long tube from butthole the butthole i didn't need to know that good thing i've never kissed anybody except for a film i pray to god this is not a real children's book cause my god the science is off why are you looking at me doc what you doing out there why do you ride a horse like that it's not a horse it's a unicorn yay timmy found out he liked the butt stuff pretty pretty young didn't he it gets worse the longer you look oh my i've been looking at this and like the legs the hand the feet the neck hand the the naked teacup lady no just no oh oh oh no he lost his foot dude you have forgotten me simba remember you are get the freak out of my clothes remember me knowing new zeus that's probably not what he'd actually do if he saw mufasa been over like that yeah there would have been some biochicka wow wow going on i'm on acid right now frick you that scared me the sexual tension between you and the person adjusting your seat belt on a roller coaster why hello there um can you just can you just put seatbelt on please why you're so attractive well if you made this far it's time for another fun fact about cougar i once attempted to break the world record for most clap push-ups on a surfboard which was 10 at the time i had done 12 to 15 in my free time practicing in front of the official i got one anyways made this far feel free to like come subscribe let us know we like see more of down the comments below have a good day and remember sometimes you gotta risk it for the biscuit

Channel: EzPz

Views: 81,645

Rating: 4.9185948 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, r/tihi, r/tihi top posts, r/tihi best posts, tihi, reddit thanks i hate it, thanks i hate it, emkay, ezpz, ez pz

Id: sVT7dcAtJ1s

Length: 15min 19sec (919 seconds)

Published: Tue Dec 29 2020