r/Me_irl · COOL DOWN THE SUN

yo what's your biggest fear being forgotten damn that's deep mine is the kool-aid man but i feel kind of stupid about now oh yeah just the kool-aid man busting through the ground hello everyone welcome back to the one the only easy to the pz i'm today's narrator cougar and we're gonna be diving into the hell that is r slash me irl so without further ado let's get to it climate change fight should be sexy and fun japan new environment minister says what uh let the man speak let the man speak we're all gonna die it might as well be sexy and fun how lazy are you me i figured out you don't actually have to assemble these things oh i know what i'm doing i'm not even joking i got a new cot to sleep on and i'm sleeping on the box guys my boyfriend thinks i'm gay what do i do well do what i do and not have a boyfriend or girlfriend hey why is pink and my username's red question mark why does it say sabotage instead of use iq infinity when someone may ask me why i can't hang out i have to rest 22 hours a day that is true sleep all day and the nightmares can't get you when you're awake if you want a dog to take a pill get a piece of cheese eat the cheese for energy get ready to wrestle the dog come here puppy you're gonna eat the pail when i grow up i'm gonna be a producer frick yeah living the dream dude yeah yeah i'm sad he was winning so uh i'll go mad dude it would have sucked if he played a reverse cod on you right when you went to cook and then you'd be the one being eaten when someone is showing something on their phone to everyone but they somehow skip you one or two hurts just a little bit but it really does i am so lonely why must i live this life alone in solitude don't freaking touch me will this loneliness ever end yeah this is me kinda you can't put up halloween decorations before october me want some candy corn karen it's the perfect candy for you donald trump wrote off seventy thousand dollars on his taxes for hairstyling he was terribly overcharged i could have run a balloon through his hair and had the same outcome for a hundred yeah you cut off imagine running from the cops and you hear fetch me his soul lucifer and look back and see this crap that's one hell of a hound if you don't catch my drift my brain two seconds after i lock a door did the pass really happen i better go check it again oh and one more time yep one more time i just want to make sure my stuff doesn't get stolen so excited for season three which show bill please respect my privacy chris please don't be nosy this is facebook not getting your facebook dear liberals i drawed a doggy sincerely ben shapiro yeah too bad you're not drawing in the women like your wife music i like music my friends like music that makes money music i make yeah no one listens to my rap music moving on from that dead korea how to start a conversation with someone you have a crush on hi salutations my children are you ready for your daily dose of smooth jazz no joke if you sent that ron on the right i would totally date you forever i'm not a player i'm a gamer players get chicks i get bullied at school okay when you ask mom permission and she says do whatever you want this seems like a stop go and a trap all the same time my jokes me making people laugh making people worry about my mental health dude this is me this is the comment section every time i make fun of myself me bites in a burger the burger the rest of the burger was ejected because it was the imposter how to care for a mini crewmate give affection feed them tuck them into bed tell them you love them teach tasks stay with them till the end even after you're dead cause some monster took me from my child follow me oh ancient roman prostitutes did something similar but usually they would have phalluses inscribed in their sandals so if you ever were in the mood you could just look down and follow the dicks we're off to see the prostitute the wonderful prostitute of oz follow the yellow dick road that's great mom take my credit card go buy me a coke and get yourself something me here's your coke and i'll take my rtx 390. not that i'll ever get one or ps5 because scalpers bought them all me the finger that isn't cracking the rest of my hand jesus dude calm down speaking of cracking you guys want to hear my neck crack oh that hurt do you ever get those random moves where you're not yourself for like a week straight yes yes i do it's called depression she i bet he's thinking about other girls he who the f is this guy taking photos of us i mean i'm trying to sleep and he's watching me and my wife have an argument the people who had the same question as me 12 years ago on yahoo answers me thank you thank you thank you character is a mom pixar animator yeah we're gonna need a big set of boobs a big booty and some thick thighs cause those save lives oh do i click i've been registered to vote since i was 18 please stop harassing me on all platforms you can't you really can't boomer humor i hate my wife millennial humor i hate my life gen z humor shaquille o'neal oatmeal it's definitely not free and never will be but um get it because you can't make a free throw all right moving on i just can't man i can't deal with the stress anymore i don't know man i'm just done i'm just done being a cat me then i've created a good meme but can't post it because i live in germany and americans are still sleeping tomorrow i suppose you've been completely forgotten check again tomorrow to see if anyone remembered you joke's on you no one remembers me baby at taco bell canada i just had taco bell for dinner so delicious well hey there uh what did you get there brett diarrhea but it was worth it the one time i ate taco bell was to try the doritos locos taco and i legit got food poisoning from it i had to go to the er good times being called a liar when you're literally telling the truth is the most frustrating thing ever bad was not the imposter i get it because they call you a liar and kill you yes yes you've never played among us have you richard dawkins when he created the word meme in 1976 i guess you guys aren't ready for that yet but the kids are gonna love it trust me they're gonna love it eight hours playing video games oh damn it one hour online classes freaking zoom calls breaking my back let me go rest and play some cod a game i haven't played in years me playing it again wondering why i stopped playing it that level hold up hold up cougar you're never gonna beat the scary mansion mission in sonic heroes so just just put the game down okay okay in 1920 eight-year-old samuel ruschkowski played chess with several chess masters at once he lost every single game you go a little dude you go pp yeah that's politics these days pee pee and poo poo all day long do you ever bring your pet up to a mirror and you're just like that is you and you're the only precious thing in my life little buddy you wake up you're still a lizard stunning on a red rock it was all a dream the concept of selling feet picks to pay back student loans is already losing its meaning as you open and lick your own eyeballs to moisturize them time to eat a bug yeah yeah are you really an introvert or were you just ignored every time you used to talk and now you just prefer being quiet yeah that or every time i ask a question in school the teachers or classmates would laugh at me yeah sex is cool but have you ever earned the trust of a cat no i haven't and i hope i will one day mian i wish i was more like that guy but he probably wishes he was more like somebody else too holy crap i am glad i'm me i'm especially glad i'm not that guy oh he's got some problems this year unreleased yeezy sunglasses me when i was seven and put my mom's headbands on my eyes and pretend to be cyclops from the x-men yeah dude we've all done it let's clean the house today no okay a day of relaxing is no relaxing only guilt feel terrible 2000 your parents telling you not to believe everything you read on the internet 2020 your parents believing every post they see on facebook oh god there's hornets they're all gonna kill us the world's ending quick run for the hills mom shut up me in the shower are trying to remember fire to you shampoo damn i'ma risk it for the biscuit english dubs are good you're all just weaves the verse just makes this better so now have i become your enemy by telling you the truth yes i have my gf he's so immature i think i'm gonna dump him her friend yeah remember when he got excited that he could drink two capri suns at once i walk in holding three capri suns babe you're not gonna freaking believe this but i think you're gonna want to marry me now girls wearing metal band merch 36 year old dudes name three songs damn it my favorite is when people think thrasher magazine is a metal magazine huh nerd teacher why don't you have your camera on from ryan everyone sorry i have anxiety not turning on baby you can't make me why are loads of grown men bullying the girl who doesn't want the world to end i'm confused well you see i am the greatest grown man ever and greta thornberg is a liar yeah that's pretty much how it was seen straight men twenty dollars all righty then twenty dollars time to take off my pants big boy when i die i hope it's early in the morning so i don't have to go to work that day for no reason yeah brother me neither me down voting a multi-million dollar company's ad on reddit ha take that you son of a gun or should i say i'm pointing my son at a gun eh eh okay moving on reject modern embrace monkey i don't know why that was so funny it just was when your job is pointless but you still need money i'm just mopping the bottom of the ocean so i could pay my bills another day this is what my husband and i purchased at the grocery store the other day we don't have kids we are adults we pay bills and drink water from a whale money whale spent i can one-up this i'm uh i'm almost 20 and i bought a uh darth vader shower head so i could watch darth vader cry at me every morning and then put googly eyes on it can you even imagine getting in bed and then easily falling asleep and then waking up feeling rested and then having a good day and then doing it again no i can't i haven't been able to do that since i was like 12. last time i went to urgent care i checked off exercising crying on the symptom list and the nurse got really confused and told me that was meant for babies yeah yeah i guess i'm one big baby then do you want them sweet or salty i want them like uh we do not have ugly popcorn oh oh by her you mean cougar gotcha professionalism sucks i want to put happy face and huh in my emails dude i straight up do it anyway and i end some of my emails with hey you should reply you know what they say risky for the biscuit new york post forget fake ids teens are dressing up as masculine grandmas to score alcohol hey i'm gonna dress up like a [ __ ] so i can get ketamine well i know what i'm doing later today how can psychology majors be depressed like bro look at your notes you solve your problems for some reason kids are wearing t-shirts with the entire b-movie script printed on them i'm okay with that i own one of these shirts i'm not even lying how can you face your problem if your problem is your face you got me there you got me there but that's what amir's for to make me cry myself to sleep y'all ever just like stand up and go to a different astral plane yeah yeah sometimes how to brush your teeth one wet toothbrush for absolutely no reason just run it under water for two seconds don't know why but just do this it's a crucial step apply either too much or too little toothpaste there is no in between unless you're filming a toothpaste commercial again for no reason wet toothbrush insert toothbrush in the mouth and brush teeth for approx 15 seconds then lie to yourself that it probably been two minutes dude i actually did a toothpaste commercial and i had so much form in my mouth because we had to keep doing it and that's pretty much what i did every time teacher okay students today we'll be having a class observer just act as if there's not even here the class observer what you're right there buddy tell me tell me sir isaac i do not understand how do the forces of nature work here's a paw under an x-ray i didn't know i needed to see this but i do and it's adorable but also terrifying but so cute today i will funny yellow dog i'm sad jupiter a high on caffeine sleep deprived and doing its best to take care of 79 moons yup life's going good when you feel guilty for not studying but you're still not studying go go all right time to play the new game create an avatar i'm a cute girl yeah yeah i wish i was a cute girl my son was so cute today he asked me dad are clouds candy i told him they were water then he asked dad what's her defense system and then i remembered i don't have a son and he asked again his eyes now obsidian black what is the defense system father tell me your little baby boy if earth was 10 feet closer to the sun we'd all burn people who climbed 10-foot ladders oh dear god my favorite thing is when people remember little things i told them like seriously you actually listen to me thank you yeah this does have a good feeling i can't wait to become a beautiful butterfly i am still a beautiful butterfly look at my beauty i really wish i weren't living through a major historical event right now i just want to go see monster hunter in theaters and be disappointed like the good old days i'm sad tell me a joke okay neck neck back back right back the one dog that's i'm guessing is a rottweiler paws look like it's on fire what pedestrians look like across europe okay yep yep seems pretty simple oh wait a second polish ua citizens oh god he's coming for me boys the red bar on youtube the gray bar it's been a good life me finally catches up with all my bills my car this one really relates to me because my brother borrowed my 97 honda civic and broke the air box on and in the snow awesome it barely moves but it's still alive true gamer move right there the only reason australia's emergency number is zero zero zero is so australians can read it upside down ah all right then the other day i invited a guy over to have sex and he was like i can't i'm eating cheesecake and i was like what about after and he was like i'm going to be full from eating all my cheesecake this is legit the option i would choose my five-year-old niece saw the blue deer on my short and was like oh it's a point here i took the opportunity to be like oh it can be a girl dear girls like blue too olivia she stared at me and was like i said it's a boy dear because it has antlers take my degree and wait now please yep destroyed by a five-year-old life's going good sometimes a simple kiss can change your life golf course nipple sniffles all you bud frank the human boy how did you almost know my name i have approximate knowledge of many things my education in a nutshell i'm so glad i don't know how to do my taxes but uh thanks to the school i'm attending i know that a squared plus b squared equals c squared that comes very in handy as a voice actor yup moving on hulk will sleep now and maybe when hulk wakes up everything that has made hulk tired will be changed good one buddy good one social anxiety disorder what people say ugh i'm so socially anxious i hate small talk what it's really like i really have to go to the bathroom but i won't get up because everyone will stare this is why i may have peed my pants in high school one or two times mikey why are you so sad there's so much goodness in the world i don't know ava why do you have asthma there's so much air in the world lady come on get me a break yes one million 208 i'd like to thank all my fans for helping me reach this milestone we are a global channel and i can't wait for the diamond play button number one subscriber right here mr virus trump i'm a big fan the way you handled it you act like you are buddy to have um some word i do enough i have enough i am enough i do have am enough yes i do have am enough saying you need to calm down lackey and empathy a rude command stating the obvious saying good good let the hate flow through you affirmative of their feelings confirms it's normal to be upset helps them embrace the ultimate potential of the dark side i like that last one a lot anyways if you made it this far make sure to like comment subscribe and let us know in the comments what you like seeing more from us here at easy peasy anyways have a good day and remember be good people

Channel: EzPz

Views: 139,221

Rating: 4.9387589 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, r/me_irl, r/meirl, me irl, me_irl, reddit me irl, r/me_irl ezpz, emkay, ezpz, ez pz

Id: 6WWpGDHmJS4

Length: 17min 31sec (1051 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 06 2021