r/Facepalm · food poisoning time !

to get rid of all the bats in my attic should i buy 100 snakes and put them in my attic you should buy one snake and swing it around like a whip how's it going everyone and welcome back to easy peasy my name is zach and today we're going to be taking a look at r slash face palm open this new package of ice cream cones and there were only eleven sad face that is a sad face moment i'm not gonna lie this dude is handling 16 wieners at one time just like your mom open question should i tell my parents that i'm adopted i don't fit in the family i think it's time to come clean with them wait what i had a relationship with an alien you look like an alien one out of five stars no pencil i received the silicone cover only there was no pencil inside the silicone uh silicone case compatible with uh okay yeah it's a it's a case you idiot at age 25 others want to get married and have kids but i want my parents in the backseat of my audience this is audi r8 and there's no back seat in this car it's a two-seater car yeah um why are they cutting that avocado like that i don't think that's uh i don't think that's how that works at the berlin wall last week walls work all right i'm not an expert on bike locks but pretty sure that's not how you do that can't stop laughing biology exam question draw the female reproductive organ as the exam was going on a girl looked between her legs and a boy saw her and shouted sir she's cheating she's copying from original source black clover did you mean bulk clover i don't think so boys let black widow bite them in hopes of turning into spider-man well did it work blind people will be so happy when they see these new emojis visible confusion oh man what a discount on that pasta sauce really makes a difference at this point i don't even know if i'm breathing correctly you know you're probably not there's gonna be a video to show you properly how at some point i found this photo originally in a broken frame on the ground near the corner of blank road and blank if anyone knows the person this belongs to let me know well if you can get a hold of the mcfly's i'm sure they'd appreciate their photo back what the heck what happened here i i i you know what i don't even want to know can someone in the education system please explain how the f might cunado is supposed to learn his colors oh yeah that doesn't need to be in black and white hi why do you catfish people where are you fork christian bale gains 4 500 000 pounds to play sand worm and dune remake couldn't they just use puppets or effects or anything else i feel sorry for the guy locked in the blue burrito i'm claustrophobic and this made me shiver so much it's not a claustrophobia thing it's part of your instinct your freedom to defend yourself to act on a fight or flight response this person is claustrophobic you freaking idiot can't you read these face masks come with a straw hole for sipping cocktails these condoms come with a hole to pee through well i guess that's one way to get up to the window days in we remember all who have served hot breakfast breaking news two dead found dead they call it an xbox 360 because when people look at it they turn 360 degrees and walk away yep they walk away that's uh that's 360 degrees jason derulo knocks out two front teeth doing corn on the cob challenge unfortunate ah yeah that'll stay on the bed of that trailer what breed of dog is this are you stupid you just embarrassed yourself by asking this no how can you think this is a dog you really look stupid asking this it even hurt my brain bought a tattoo kit today can't wait to start tattooing really whoa yup i love to draw and write might as well put it to work lol yeah i'm not gonna let this person give me a tattoo lady gaga and ariana grande teamed up for reign on me an upbeat dance track where each singer takes a turn with a verse they also sing together on some of the choruses this is called a duet so a kid is better never being born is that what you're saying is english your first language yes yeah we're done here okay bye dumas dumas is water edible most misspelled english word you mean most misspelled english word we have just issued a new notification regarding your profile on facebook facebook that's funny i don't have a facebook account this is land by the colorado kansas border from a plane pretty cool i have no idea how slash wyatt looks like this it's called farming i just don't trust men who eat breakfast female trade hey at youtube maybe don't put ads before first aid vids i don't have time to watch a red lobster ad when my gran is choking on a fish bone how bad is the flooding on the cove road near jason's house call jason and ask florida man kidnapped scientists to make his dog immortal i'm not saying he was right just saying i get it the 4th of july on the 16th or the 15th you're joking right dear god please give us back freddie mercury and we will give you justin bieber god doesn't want justin bieber satan doesn't want him no one wants justin bieber why the f did you just capitalize bieber you a believer or what well guess what your cover has been blown stupid believers trying to save her what refrigerator 200 bucks it works but it doesn't cool or freeze then it doesn't work cheap gaming laptop oh dude one cent and that's that's not even a laptop that's a desktop just got my real man tat manual is better leaving you automatic pricks in the dust i see genuine fake watches i'm sold okay explain this to me then when in water you let all your breath out and you sink but when you hold your breath and you float how does gravity do that stuff come on globers educate me no just do it yourself man says google maps creating problems in his marital life files complaint a 49 year old man in tamil nadu has said he's getting into trouble with his wife because google maps allegedly shows him at places he's never visited in his complaint to the police our name said my wife scans your timeline feature and doesn't let me sleep she questions where i was he added his wife believes google over everything else free worldwide shipping with this barbecue grill mat why do you need a mat just put it on the grill 25 things you missed in the guardians of the galaxy movies i don't think anyone missed that that was a pretty pivotal moment in the film tonight at 8 20 and 20 seconds in military time will be 20 20 20 20 20. this only happens once in history space is a hoax so true anyone who doubts this find one picture of the earth or any planet that's not cgi just one there aren't any every rocket that has been launched makes a huge arch back to earth lands on the ocean because the firmament keeps us from going to space nobody absolutely no one honda drivers the tree is cut down to open space for outdoor signs of a kid hugging a tree my friend you're not asian you're indian uh india yeah yeah uh yep yeah south country in south asia yep parents say giant it chapter two billboards are scaring kids good geography is hard that's nebraska not colorado kansas but if i call bts asian i'm racist right no because they are literally asian you're so dumb actually they're korean good job i oh man look if you wanted a taller ladder just get a taller ladder you don't you don't gotta do that large squirrels aggressively harassing dogs i um i don't think that's a squirrel alien joel's story continues in the last of us part two watch the intense new story trailer media not display the image has been removed in response to a report from the copyright holder super glue's [ __ ] closed then drinks laxatives this is what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object you realize that's the flag of liberia right yup friend you can't hear links me what link is this i'll give you a hint with one word rick rick and morty uncultured is pink panther a lion say that again but slower i don't get it he's the pink panther okay but is he a lion lock your cars vehicle theft spikes yeah because locking your car will stop you from from a broken window strange but seems correct happy birthday today every person in the whole world is the same age today is a very special day there's only one chance every 1 000 years your age this year plus your year of birth the total for every person is 20 20. it's so strange that even experts can't explain it you figure it out and see if it's 20 20. it's a thousand year wait take a shot let everyone calculate it a microsoft presentation using a mac majority ethnic groups by province in spain that's france not spain one seat is marked with a cross so that people maintain social distancing people respected the rule and didn't sit on the marked seat yeah but uh it seems like uh they're all kind of huddled together there four piece mcnuggets uh a dollar ninety nine six piece mcnuggets uh two dollars except um in the photos there's five and seven what is the most useless map ever made my son was given this to color in primary school i used to make maps so i kept it as it amused me at first glance it looks fine and then you don't notice one of the continents is in the wrong place if you can't see it well try and point to the mediterranean oh my god how what happened here good lord ah they put the plastic strainer on the stove yeesh is drinking milk bad for you so every glass of milk we drink leeches calcium from our bones that's why medical study after medical study has found that people who consume the most cow's milk have significantly higher fracture rates than those who drink little to no milk ah thank you peta great information psychological trick to get millions of views on your videos a thousand views yeah well you tried wesley today we ate medium rare chicken breast if steak can be eaten half made why not do the same with chicken bloody chicken meat my kids uh we're eating like crazy this man on my last nerve babe can we break up for like 25 minutes so i can listen to this weekend album from a different perspective or is that out of pocket pets max 2 allowed max weights 75 pounds each one-time fee 400 dollars rent 10 live voice translator meow meow i'm hungry feed me wow that's impressive if if it look if it's real i'm not going to argue with it never underestimate teachers nut all over your school please don't i wasn't raised in the hood but i know a thing or two about pain and darkness yeah okay dude no parking well that's not working out nickelodeon patrick star figurine patrick's looking a little different these days man tries to pawn stolen jewelry at a shop the shop was managed by the woman he stole it from oh 365 day penny challenge penny a day for one year at end of year 667.95 where the hell did you get that number from the things you can do if you choose the bus plan the perfect murder no man running from cops stops to pet cats goes to jail okay but can you blame the guy what's this pimple or mole like spot on my dog just took her to the annual and they either didn't notice it or it's normal there's one lower on her abdomen too that seems to itch or bother her your text post optional your post body must contain text product of spain yep that's spain all right playstation camera uh forty dollars how much they bought it for and they're trying to sell it for 43 alright psychic dies after stabbing himself to prove he's immortal oh man can i have the 24th of june off write it in the request off book okay where's that at work thanks in the news yesterday two dutch children age 11 were playing with this rock they found at a construction site near their house throwing it at each other it was a mortar shell from world war ii still active and after being contacted by the children's uncle authorities had to do a controlled detonation to safely dispose of it those two look nothing alike in my opinion but it's the same ship yeah it's almost like uh years and years and years and years of being on the bottom of the ocean floor uh we'll do that to a giant metal ship true or false scientists have been able to develop completely safe methods for disposing of radioactive wastes scientists are still searching for meth okay well now you know the answer oh no cat why'd you have to get on the scrabble table it's fine i can't be upset at a cat it's just it's illegal what is my screen time current volume is 38 thanks siri this fake seat belt t-shirt helps deter seat belt tickets or just wear your god seat belt here's a pic of my thermometer from the last time i was sick in case anyone needs an excuse to get out of work can't come in i'm sick funny that's a pregnancy test what i'm the smart girl that doesn't flex it low my classes i should replace the teacher but i keep it low-key so that i don't have to lamal yet here you are flexing 1 out of 5 stars too many chemicals to be natural unfortunately this range of products have too many ingredients that i can't pronounce the names of for me this means the products contain chemicals therefore not natural okay why does the loss of signal always happen at the precise moment of landing because the engine exhaust shakes the boat a lot at the moment of landing because space travel is false they never leave god's earth the firmament prevents space travel fun fact blueberries are the only fruit named after a color starfruit so close that is a shape people are accidentally throwing out their stimulus payments because they look like junk mail oh no the nfl been around longer than our government we've had 48 super bowls and only 44 presidents i didn't know that you may like why the 57-4 t-bird is not one of the best improve your mind read my books you'll be glad you did the author illiterate redditers why can't you read think about this for a minute bud we are all into his to get her it's funny they call them unidentified flying objects i could identify them right away those are ufos idiot good lord come on people that that's ridiculous my older brother once ate a vanilla scented candle all of my family members called him stupid but not me i stood up for him telling everyone that the candle smelled good and it can happen to anyone i felt really dumb after hearing that the candle he ate was lit on fire jesus christ how i tricked this youtube video into going viral 439 000 views you tried teach your children to chase waterfalls not wi-fi yeah because we all have waterfalls in our backyards jayla aussie wife is slammed for packing her husband's lunch stop treating him like your child your wife packs you lunch like a child yes the game isn't in wisconsin it's 70 miles from milwaukee one out of five stars terrible app terrible customer services my account was hacked on 13th march this year items were purchased over 100 pounds and sent to an address in russia i live in scotland i have sent 29 yes 29 emails to wish customer services explaining this but all you get is automated replies it's disgusting there's no direct contact with them it has been over two months now and nothing has been getting done if and when this gets sorted my account will be getting deleted permanently i'm sorry about this we kindly ask that you email support wish.com for further assistance yeah just don't use wish that's uh that's a good solution apparently our chair is yellow uh no it's not the base plastic is yellow you stripped off the decorative wood grain finish design to make it look like teak and expose the plastic this is not a good thing to do and well ladies and gentlemen we have reached the end of our slash facepalm thank you all so much for watching if you enjoyed what you saw be sure to hit that subscribe button and the bell so you notified everything easy peasy uploads and until the next one i'll see you [Music] around you

Channel: EzPz

Views: 446,343

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, r/facepalm, r/facepalm top posts, r/facepalm best posts, face palm, r/facepalm ezpz, emkay, ezpz, ez pz

Id: LsUaB-0AyEQ

Length: 14min 31sec (871 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 04 2020