r/Rareinsults · AMERICA

would you rather listen to my music or die well the end results are the same so yeah i'm just gonna die oh come on this guy's music can't be that bad right like what's the music gonna do take out your soul like the song starts and it's like what's going on everyone welcome back to easy peasy my name is david the baker and today we're going to be taking a look at our slash rare insults it's the creative stuff the grimy stuff the stuff that hurts your feelings but makes you say oh well you know that's kind of funny anyways it's a beautiful day i hope you guys are ready for the video because we're about to jump on into it and without further ado let's go fun fact koalas have perfectly smooth brains if you leave a koala in a room with a plate of leaves and nothing else it'll literally starve to death because it doesn't recognize food when it's not hanging off a branch explains a lot about this video yeah you stupid koalas that's what you get for having perfectly smooth brains you adorable creatures he looks gay and lesbian at the same time oh you know what he does i thought only ellen could do this that boy is prettier than me so you're breaking up with me fine then i will steal him away dude looks like he would be an in-level boss in some discount pirate video game made by some unknown studio that is shelved right next to four different variations of bejeweled i can hear the speech not lining up with the mouth animations not only is that oddly specific but god dude you roasted him your mom is so fat i had to spread this between three books damn the ultimate yo mama joke everything wrong with shrek you know maybe there's a reason why donkey shouldn't talk from shrek exactly that video better be one second long because there is nothing wrong with that masterpiece redacted just told me you're the type of person laminated menus were designed for and i have never been more devastatingly inaccurately torn to pieces linus is the type of guy to yell ring ring at people while riding a bicycle instead of ringing the bell ah you're one of those type of people linus ah not a good look this guy this guy looks like he would steal bowling alley shoes oh you whitey why why is this so creative and it's true too i mean look at him dude's gonna be stealing those shoes and sniffing them up in the janitor's closet he just has the face that says oh yeah that's nice after 16 years in vegas you'd want the time stone too oh no why'd you have to do it like this this is just disrespectful oh my god we look so good now yes now i can see your stupid face in hd huh same chick on the left looks like her favorite ice cream flavor is white bread yeah i mean what can i say you kind of have that i go to starbucks every day look about you i'm sorry when your fake id works oh yeah i'm drinking in the club that's because you look 34. dead body reported she looks like she sounds like she swallowed a fireplace ah like that monster from monsters inc when your fake id works i'm always watching mike wazowski ah yeah death note that ain't death note that's deceased journal yo that ain't death note that's dead diary that's not death note that's passed away literature god i love this one all right moving on and i'm trying to get drunk before everything closes the chick that turned 21 recently looks like it's her 13th time turning 21. you just you can't keep saying you're 21. all right it's not convincing hello what you doing just got done with the test now i'm laying down what about you chillin i don't know what to say megan that was almost as dry as the biscuits from popeyes i mean the biscuits from popeyes are kind of dry but nah this girl's a desert black men turn me the [ __ ] off y'all literally disgust me i will never marry a black man period oh okay it's like that we ain't trying to marry no mother with capital gums and lower case teeth anyway seriously if you live in a glass house don't throw stones guys we gotta stop this black on black violence who's the best rapper six nine or cardi b oh you mean trash versus garbage can we all agree to stop calling these two trash and garbage pollution still makes better content than what they're making well you got a point and fisa 21 moscow russia i don't get why he obsesses over that chick she looks like a cabbage patch kid that got bad liposuction kim looks like the sort of person who would build up an army of children and take over a community college he absolutely does he'd be like rise my children conquer the affordable higher education center ah seal he's not fat he's horizontally gifted oh yeah and i'm not sure i'm just really down to earth you look like vladimir putin's niece yo they over here calling him valerie putin that's cold man that's cold i will never forget a fistfight breaking out in the special ed classroom and i had to break it up one kid shouted menacingly your hairline looks like a chicken quesadilla doing the [ __ ] walk in a trapezoid yo that kid is playing some 5d chess when it comes to insults that insult is a whole journey man i love it here's kaido kaido's hair looks like minecraft rotten flesh oh it does i can just hear the sound effect ah yikes oh it's all gas no brakes this place looks like if aggravated sexual battery was a location yep and that guy is clearly the mayor when your setup is worse than the broke setup when your grammar is as bad as your financial status jeez kick a guy while he's down he's already saying he's broke and you're just like yeah you're broke and illiterate like come on ah the cats movie they try to make a whole movie by only using snap filters hey i mean they tried it granted it failed terribly but at least they tried and it's kind of a good thing it was so bad because once quarantine hit we didn't have to go to the theaters to watch it nationalism an infantile disease it is the measles of mankind god forbid you be proud of your country that's not what nationalism is you overgrown scrotum wart these were my nails during pride month this year your fingers look prehistoric you got them caveman hands go get yourself a pedicure not gonna lie my hands be looking like this sometimes too i can't even judge hey it's the food review guy he looks like a person who reads the terms and conditions and presses decline he's like hmm you take all my information no i don't think i want to use the internet then you can count the amount of brain cells between the entire group on one finger huh i'm a grammar kid and you made all these grammatical errors especially at the end one period ends a sentence not two one period could have ended your mother's conception of you but unfortunately that didn't happen either oof this man with an admittedly weird looking body he looks like a shark that transitioned into a human yeah i could imagine him saying oh i'm bruce fish are friends not food dracula be looking like the love child of emperor palpatine and mom from futurama especially with that hairdo i can absolutely see the resemblance she sounds like a drunk harley quinn with a nasal infection oh so pretty much like me when i do this voice feels bad man feels bad he looks like he pays the landlord by sliding nickels under his door he's talking to the landlord with a bag of change like uh yeah this should be enough right gus johnson he looks like a 90s leonardo dicaprio if everything went wrong but yeah with the hairdo and the mustache yeah no that actually makes sense ed sheeran looks like ron weasley if he decided to join a gang after hogwarts damn it feels good to be a gangsta when you order eminem from wish yeah that ain't no slim shady that's some skinny shadow over there keep this away from any walls he has a tendency to sit on top of them well i mean he kinda does look like humpty dumpty i have two employees that usually leave work at 6 p.m they are good but i don't like that their commitment lasts only for work hours what should i do as a ceo you should copy and paste this complaint into a table in microsoft word 2007 then print it off double-sided in landscape mode fold it in half eight times soak it in olive oil and shove it up your ellen degeneres is the human equivalent of fake pockets on pants i mean apparently so turns out she's pretty mean to people in real life oh no it's the egg man again we must protect him from how to basic oh no if how too basic gets his hands on him it's just gonna be eggs splattered everywhere this is not machine gun kelly it's nerf gun jonathan no no this ain't machine gun kelly this is water gun willie the guy in the mustang has a reaction time that can be measured with a calendar geez yo i mean to be fair in the picture the car on the right is like zooming through and then the one on the left is just kind of stationary so yeah probably not the best reaction time i like how the immigration attorney looks like he's more of a full-time redditor yeah so you know i'm doing this attorney thing on the side i really like to moderate subreddits he somehow manages to look like billy eilish jack's films james charles jake paul bart simpson and a random drug addict at the same time wait didn't this guy like cheat on his partner and then made a terrible apology video yeah man i'm sorry you deserve all the insults girls want a superman but they walk past a clark kent every day you've been clowns think that you're clark kent not on my watch you dumb head ass [ __ ] are barely a guy gardener and you think you're a clark kent the amount of disrespect is unreal listen here you wannabes my boy clark is 240 pounds of pure kansas beef trained from a young age by ma kent to love and respect women as the intelligent independent beings they are he is shy rambling about tractors and casually moving the copy machine when my pin falls behind it and would never demand i'd be sexually or romantically interested just because he's nice y'all ain't clark kent i have never hit the re-blog button so darn fast barely a guy gardener is the sickest comic related burn i've heard to date am i the only girl who doesn't change their underwear daily like either i'm lazy af or there really isn't a point because my cookie still smells good she looks like she eats enough cheese to think that the same smell coming from her is good hey i'm not really a fan of picking on people for how they look i know that's kind of contradictory to this whole video but even so you should still change your underwear like at least once a day alright that that's fair oh it's this guy why does the youtuber look like he's trying to sell me vegetables and legend of zelda bruh he really do be looking like hey you do you want to buy some fresh vegetables here in hyrule kingdom what a shame pete davidson pete looks like if voldemort moved to florida and got into coke honestly that's a pretty fitting origin story for pete davison yeah well i think dragons suck i will kick your so hard your vertebrae will pop out of your mouth one by one like a pest dispenser well apparently this meme was brought to you by the dragons gang don't mess with these guys cause uh yeah they they don't like it when you insult dragons karen says i'm in anyone else in this nonsense all over the world we will stop wearing masks just throw those filthy things away i could wipe my collect the dna from the crap stain genetically engineer a clone of myself from the dna and it would still be less of an wipe than you god you gotta hit em where it hurts geez oh i see you're listening to [ __ ] i am so happy my parents don't know english yeah they understood what the song was saying uh i don't know if they like it well maybe they would maybe grandma would be listening like there's some [ __ ] in this house there's some [ __ ] in this house yo mama's so fat thanos had to clap you see the snap wasn't enough oh no siree thanos had to use both his hands he had to dual hand that [ __ ] i will rip out your tongue and shove my foot so far up your wrists the doctors will be picking my toenails out of your teeth i hope someone replaces your apple juice with pee you absolutely effing useless floral pattern lampshade i'm sorry what that is the first i've ever heard of it but god dude you are angry nobody cares i [ __ ] your mom my mom is literally a jar of ash's buddy and it's still the wettest p word you've ever gotten oof dead body reported blur stormtrooper i gotta get away no not like this kirby hi now we can't even suck my ding-dong right if kirby sucked your ding-dong he'd become mini kirby yikes yo no that's pain i wish gumshot sounded like the ping of an m1 garand granted now it sounds like the battle of the bulge whenever i swing around your mom's house yo imagine a parent knocking on their kid's door like timmy what are you doing in there you just hear through the door uh nothing mom i'm playing call of duty he looks like my bicycle seat i mean with that long and narrow face i agree oh this is from the story where the father beats up the child molester yep dude beat him so hard it turned him into a simpsons character oh he's got the lips and everything just paint them yellow and you got yourself a simpson what is the most embarrassing non-food item someone could find on your computer my spreadsheet showing my sex life over the past 26 years but first they'd have to break into my 17-digit password to unlock the file why do you have a 17-digit password for an empty spreadsheet written by some hacker oh man you've been exposed why you lying about the spreadsheet if it's zero just say zero come on man no need to lie rule 34 states if it exists there is one of it no exceptions what is something you're pretty confident is an exception oh that's easy you it is bullcrap a sperm whale's vocalizations are so loud that they could kill a diver who is too close i can confirm this i almost went deaf last time i [ __ ] your mom xxx tentacion is that you again ask your mom and she'll tell you how big it is mate i will suck you and it wouldn't even touch the front row of my teeth oh that's a first i have not heard that one before but yeah go on roast them parents have read it why don't you close the door when you're leaving our rooms because saying son your room stinks of the month old socks that are clearly stuffed down the side of your bed and you need to let some fresh air in here because i'm genuinely worried at this point that breathing in the air that is currently in here technically counts as me swallowing your money shot is just gonna embarrass us both ah that's a good point women who falsely accused 15 men of rape jailed for 10 years to be fair it does look like a 15 man job okay yup next meme we did it boys virginity is no more me and my girlfriend did the no no act we're filthy sinners and it lasted two minutes but we freaking did it it's a shame that even instant noodles are slower to cook than you in bed oh man like i'm happy for you but uh two minutes yeah that ain't nothing to brag about when you step on a scale and it says 1776 america america i've fallen and i can't get up well everyone that's my time i hope you enjoyed this episode of r rare insults if you did make sure to leave a like down below and don't forget to press the subscribe button and the notification bell to be notified of all our easy peasy uploads anyway i'm your host david the baker and i will see you in the next video have an awesome day peace out and three thumbs up

Channel: EzPz

Views: 301,802

Rating: 4.9469233 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, r/rareinsults, r/rareinsults top posts, r/rareinsults best posts, rare insults, insults reddit, reddit insults, emkay, ezpz r/rareinsults, ezpz, ez pz

Id: P9CIMgrYzkM

Length: 14min 35sec (875 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 23 2020