r/TIHI · cockroach toast

oh oh no oh oh god no i feel like at this point you should just get a new eye matter of fact just cut your entire head off you're not even gonna want it anymore it's infested with cockroaches just yeah just cut that head off just cut your head off and hopefully a new one will grow back what's going on everyone welcome back to easy peasy i'm your narrator david the baker and today we're going to be jumping on into r slash thanks i hate it now i'm gonna be real with you it's uh it's night time where i'm recording and uh yeah things get creepy in the night time i'm sure you're ready to get on into this awful mess of a video so without further ado let's go san francisco be looking like blade runner 2049 california this fire is going to take everything i have read it whoa it's just like blade runner eight most people have an above average number of arms since some people have no arms or one arm the average number of arms in a person has to be just under two so if you have two arms you've got more arms than the average yeah so take this information and i don't know what to do with it just yeah just hold on to it i guess hey look it's thomas the tank here oh god hey kids thomas is here hellman's mayo nasal spray when you're breathing is a little too easy yeah you know your nasal passage just isn't clogged enough so yeah go go put some mayonnaise in there i want this company's entire stock so we got the vine kid and we got gordon ramsay we use face app to mix their faces together and we have this monstrosity not gonna lie this is a solid photoshop it's creepy and it makes me feel bad in ways i can't quite explain but yeah solid nonetheless why choose one when you can have them all oh no what did you do to these starter pokemon ah poor babies didn't even stand a chance i mean half of that face is smiling but i guarantee you that they're suffering ah yeah i love my toy in the bath oh no my toy dad fix it okay okay ah there you go yay not gonna lie i did not see that coming here we have the queen and her freakishly weird looking body yeah thanks memes lot we totally needed to see this the fact that there is a nintendo character named dry bowser which is just a bowser made of bones implies that regular bowser is wet stop no we're not doing this today kevin just stop texting me oh it's the among us characters we got one made out of fur and beans and is that nicholas cage i'm so confused i have a pimple i can't go out like this i'm sure it's not that bad i can barely even see it really oh oh no instead of saying i can barely see the pimple it's more like he can barely see the person oh gosh that is that is not good fun game oh no i can just imagine a little kid playing this like one two three four hi why kirby why must you have a skeleton can't you just be like a giant marshmallow or something you really don't need a skeleton introducing gerber 5 beefy layer burrito brought to you by taco bell seriously what won't taco bell sponsor i wouldn't be surprised if this was a real thing you have her mother talking to the babysitter like okay so he'll throw a full-on tantrum if you don't give him his beefy five-layer burrito it's very important that he has this meal i don't know what to do he won't eat anything else this is exactly how you raise a neckbeard okay so you decided of all the things to draw in minecraft you would uh you'd do this i mean it's good but you are some other type of deranged oh no grand theft auto 5 the anime not gonna lie i kind of like this especially trevor like i would watch this anime what you wouldn't watch this anime what are you some kind of weirdo can you tell me how to get how to get the hell away from sesame street seriously bert like i could almost get over the fleshy skin but the morgue's haircut come on bro that's a no-no i just made a horrible realization the teletubbies and uh and the jelly bean from among us oh no is it too late to say that red is sus because uh red is sus oh it's a banana and mayo sandwich uh delicious guys i i don't think i can finish the video what are you talking about you gotta finish the video i know but it's just it's really creepy and look finish the video or you're never seeing your kids again bye but i just hello okay um uh next meme uh you see this is how they test for the coronavirus they take that swab and they just shove it straight into your brain you know mickey mouse what happened it's like he wished upon a star to become an absolute monster you know disney always told you to wish upon a star but maybe you should think about what you wish for dr pimple popper rips baby shrimp cyst right out of a patient's face look i know some people like to watch these videos but yeah no that's gonna be a no for me dawg ah speaking of dogs why would you try and put an anime face on a dog what were you thinking up some good old organic chocolate milk but instead of using the cap you open it like this you know what i'll be frank you should feel bad about yourself now this this is uh this is just creative you know i've never seen a volkswagen motorcycle but this is pretty cool i don't know how you're supposed to ride it comfortably but all the same it's definitely gonna turn some heads porcelain doll head with succulents ten dollars yeah you see unlike this baby i don't need a third eye to see that this is cursed tick tock users are shaving down their teeth with nail files dentists say it could cause permanent damage look you gotta be some type of stupid to think that this is a good idea it kind of sucks that people have to say hey people don't file your teeth down with nail filers like you'd think people wouldn't have to hear that to know that it's not a good thing to do ah come on what am i supposed to call this thing big chunky do scooby chung i just don't know what to do with this picture oh no butcher shop handcrafted sausage pork gummy bear 4.99 a pound what did willy wonka open up a deli section jesus christ ah yes super maria praise be to super maria so you have the colors and your toes and once you paint them you have uh you have among us great if you didn't do such a good job with this i would be irrationally angry but you got to give credit where credit is due this is a good job so here we have a blowfish skeleton now if you're wondering why it looks like this this is what it looks like expanded again this is one of those things that's just weird and tough to look at but also super cool at the same time hey so we couldn't afford a toilet so we just put a swing with a hole on it uh have fun yeah don't fall in the hole a lot of people have done that already so uh yeah uh-huh so we're just gonna peel the banana and uh and then start peeling more of the banana until you have a cup of banana noodles and you start eating it like ramen this this does not make gordon ramsay happy it's creative but uh no the fact that kansas and arkansas are pronounced differently bothers me more than it should pronouncing words that end in o-u-g-h cough bow rough dough through and though is the s or c in scent silent why does fridge have a d in it but refrigerator doesn't why are zoe and zoe pronounced the same but joey and joe aren't you can drink a drink but you can't food a food the word q is just a queue followed by four silent letters why is w called w when it's clearly double v you know what these are all beautiful questions that the english language just will never be able to answer maybe one day it'll make sense but yeah no probably not oh god what's happening oh clifford not again oh no a pimple okay let's pop it oh it's getting bigger happily ever after caption this can you relate oh here's a good caption for you i'm calling the police 300 million customers around the world to save big on summer goods why aren't you download now you know i've actually seen this clamp before it looks like a medieval torture device but it's actually for ingrown toenails from what i understand it works pretty good so i'll agree it looks a little weird but it's actually doing some good to people did you know swimming with dolphins is super dangerous because they will try to have sex with you and you will drown in the process here we are thinking that dolphins are so innocent and so nice but nah they're predators and they deserve to be on a list can you imagine going to like sea world and they're like okay so you want to swim with toby the dolphin well we have to inform you that he is a registered sex offender so anyways just sign here tried to do a face swap with my infant daughter oh well she definitely has your nose this person has a serious case of finger toes like seriously you could use those feet for hands if you wanted to i got one word for you smooth nope no no no give him wrinkles the only way he can exist in this world is if he has wrinkles so here's a turtle and here's his skeleton now here's a human with a turtle skeleton here we go again with memes trying to have us conform to their standards of beauty no matter how hard we try we'll never be able to look like this feels bad man feels bad and i asked for boneless why can't these food places ever get the order right you just can't win with these people red sus ah just because all the other jelly bean people skip leg day doesn't mean that red is suss because he didn't alright respect the drip this dude's got some stellar legs all right let red be the person he wants to be flawless teeth whitening pin removes all unwanted stains and makes your teeth crystal white without causing any discomfort it's suitable even for sensitive teeth yeah but but but why does she have so many oh it's all the apps but with a picture of all their ceos on them not gonna lie watching all those billionaires stare back at you it's kinda creepy that ain't it chief ah this guy is a master baker everything he cooks is just so realistic you know not the texture pack i'd roll with but uh whatever minds your craft this diagram of how they remove fat from cheeks so they rip open your mouth and they just kind of cut in and just drag the fat out of there have you ever had moments where you accidentally like bite your cheek yeah well it's like that but i imagine ten times more scary okay so you got your mask and a hole for your cigarette okay this is cool and all but that might actually kill you like why would you do this just take off your mask if you want to smoke well there's a water snake living in my toilet somehow remember when you were a kid and you were like there's a monster in the toilet and your parents were like oh no no that's impossible monsters can't get there yeah well your caregivers lie to you you're just lucky you missed the water snake bready mercury is this the real loaf easy come easy dough put a bun against his bread nothing really matters oh and don't forget wheats are the champions get it wheat okay moving on oh gosh so we have the duck from duck hunt mixed with jiggly puff with wario's face and mr game and watch and my head kind of hurts can we stop protein hey look i'm glad you're getting your protein intake but but why like this it never had to be this way people slam parents for having an insensitive gender reveal on world's tallest building it's a boy hey look even if it's insensitive at least it didn't lead to like some giant wildfire i mean sure people's windows are gonna be glowing blue for the next hour and a half but you know what it's still better than an uncontrollable fire i can't unsee captain tiny arm in his baby sidekick mega hand oh no i see exactly what you're saying oh geez i would not want to get in a slapping fight with that baby with captain tiny arm maybe if he's left-handed but that baby yeah absolutely not vic is on my lap he looks weird and here's a picture of vic this is the worst thing you have ever did to me you know what this looks like this looks like slazzo's profile picture on twitter you know what i'll add a picture tell me this is not slazzo you see this man this is the man who runs easy peasy are you not terrified you should be men of reddit how do you stop excess dripping after peeing i let it hang over the toilet for 15 minutes while i answer reddit questions frick that's brilliant i've been using scissors i barely got any noodle left i'm sorry sir what here we go again with the cursed comments hmm sensitivity of mouse hm let's put that sensitivity of the mouse all the way up oh yeah what a terrible day to have eyes number one don't forget to turn your camera off kids hi david i wanted to reach out to you following this morning's class i really appreciated your contributions to our discussion but i felt that i should follow up with you i noticed that during class you appeared to consume an entire chocolate cake normally i would never be one to police my student's eating habits but i reviewed the class recordings and you finished the whole thing in 43 seconds i'm pretty sure i watched you unhinge your jaw like some kind of snake is everything going okay at home is your jaw okay please let me know if i can be of any support best regards teacher this dude is just speed running diabetes he just gobbles up that entire cake you know 43 seconds is really impressive and i feel like i would pay to see that class recording ah yes the forbidden flower oh it's winnie the pooh but with an anime face or is it the chinese leader i i can't quite tell fall guys confidential for internal use only uh wait they're the size of regular humans oh that's even worse like aside from this creepy looking skeleton did you know they're the size of actual humans i thought they'd be like tinier but no hmm you know what let me just switch the pillow around ah much better meanwhile at the funeral oh let's get out of the hell it just happened oh my god run for your lives ah here we have the among us kill animation and uh this is it with rtx on i mean it's creepy but gosh i gotta admire the art the artist did a really good job at making this absolutely terrifying what the actual f here we have sonic but if you zoom into his arms you can kind of see it's like he's wearing his fur oh you mean the hedgehog suit oh that's ugly that is so bad that is so unnerving why would anybody design this okay easy peasy let me ask you a question so your tinder date invites you to their house everything's nice they seem like a nice individual then they say hey come upstairs with me to watch tv and this is what their stairs look like what are you doing no really i want to know are you getting out of there are you going up those stairs i i don't know when you get to the top of the stairs you and your tinder date start getting hot and heavy they tell you to close their eyes as they take off their clothes and once you open them this is what you see what are you doing next sometimes in bed i pull the covers up to my neck and say look phillip i'm a stamp then i make him lick me said by the queen oh god daddy's back from his discord session and has seen you didn't give me whole pics daddy is angry with you snap me one right now before i come over there and punish my little kitten you better do what this man says he looks like he means business you don't want to piss daddy off and have you seen that beard yikes that's a force i don't want to reckon with just send him the whole pics whatever the hell that means a mask oh oh that right there those aren't masks no that's a family of monsters and you can't tell me otherwise welcome back to cool bug facts pubic hair is just a ding-dong beard hey wait a second is that a bug or is that a well you know what oh gosh well everyone that's our time i hope you enjoyed this episode of r slash thanks i hated if you did enjoy this video seriously you should go see a therapist but if you watch to the end make sure to support the channel by leaving a like down below and don't forget to press the subscribe button and the notification bell to be notified of all our easy peasy uploads i'm your narrator david the baker and if you want to hear more from me my channel link is down in the description below i'll see you in the next video so peace out and three thumbs up

Channel: EzPz

Views: 62,061

Rating: 4.9421511 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, r/tihi, r/tihi top posts, r/tihi best posts, tihi, reddit thanks i hate it, thanks i hate it, emkay, ezpz, ez pz

Id: -FbiXoyVeNk

Length: 15min 7sec (907 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 14 2021