r/Technicallythetruth · i get it

hey happy birthday i got you a present it's the definition of the word excessive thanks that means a lot yes it does you're darn right it does [Laughter] what's going on everyone welcome back to easy peasy i'm your host david the baker and today we're gonna be looking at r technically the truth it's my first time reading for this subreddit so let's just jump into it a slice of pie is 2.50 cents in jamaica and three dollars in the bahamas these are the pirates of the caribbean girl i only date six feet guys me with two feet man i hate it here what is absolute zero cold if you ask me this person's right give them an a student are well and actually both single syllable words teacher well yes but actually i'm african nice where do you live africa seems legit nobody is born cool except of course babies born in air-conditioned hospitals oh yeah some earrings i ordered on aliexpress never arrived they asked for photo evidence i believe this should be sufficient almost four chairs ah dude what happened to your fourth chair did somebody steal it he looks so sad did you know there is a species of antelope capable of jumping higher than the average house this is due to their powerful hind legs and the fact that an average house cannot jump i'm glad they said the average house my house has springs and it can jump pretty high press any key to continue okay spacebar the escape bar the power button and boom regular keys you freaking mad lad what the f i can't even believe after all this crap they're back together who my butt cheeks lmao google how many stars are in the sky nasa says there are at least five but has evidence of thousands more oh wow thanks nasa thank you for that that intelligent insight man screw attractive people yeah well that's the plan dog spelled backwards is backwards wait a second what oh i'm overthinking it oh dang if you overthink it you won't get it a belly button is basically a scar from when you got into a knife fight with a guy in a mask after being evicted from your first place oh well when you say it like that it kinda sounds cool one day i hope i'm gonna be the girl that walks into a room and all eyes are on her the trick is to get a really big hat and then scream yeah i mean that'll that'll definitely do it what says a lot about a person their biography that in the obituary friends are like birds they die if you kill them uh bud you feeling okay there these people think that bleach will cure autism technically speaking bleach cures many many things these things include living so i mean you're not wrong i love the people in the thumbnail they're like bleach doesn't cure autism and she's like la la la i'm not listening to you eye drops are technically blinker fluid i mean you got a point unless you're one of those people who don't blink when you get eye drops and in that case you know you're a lost cause burger let's see bun lettuce ketchup cheese beef bun hey you forgot you forgot pickles by botnick that song's a banger let's take a brief look back at 1975 shall we hi 1975. it's time you look inward and begin asking yourself the big question like why is it called a building if it's already built yeah come on prince zuko these are the questions you gotta ask yourself did you know wrapping your leg in cabbage can make your leg smell like cabbage oh really well well thank you for that i don't know what i'm gonna do with that information but uh i guess thank you cat detector yes you know it would be really creepy if it said no it'd be like what are you can you explain the cell division very fast okay oh zero eight double o thanks now i'll definitely pass the science test do centaur babies suckle from the horse's nipples or the human nipples centaurs aren't real you do understand that right yes that's why i made a tumblr post about this instead of asking a real centaur duh what is the phobia of chainsaws call common sense if you ask me common sense yeah this deserves to be the best answer how did he survive that by not dying huh well thanks for clarifying you smart alec only true fans will get this rock you ah yes i remember this song fist fist hands fist fists hands we gots a will smith we console will smith dwayne the rock johnson hand pointing at you such a classic what we see the color spectrum what animals with the color range larger than rc well i guess you have a point taboo house i hate it when people comment on their own comment taboo house ah man i completely agree friend sorry the juice is a bit warm i didn't put it in the fridge me it'd be a lot cooler if you did if you hold a crab up to your ear you can hear what it's like to be attacked by a crab oh my god why why would you say this i'm gonna go to bed early today me at 3am how tall is jesus he was a bit higher when crucified i mean you're not you're not lying okay when does a joke become a dad joke when it becomes apparent ah link not you too man woman gay straight black white young old rich poor people who didn't get decapitated oh yeah baby that's what i'm talking about the dislikes are from people who don't like despacito oh really you think how i see ditto how female pokemon see ditto how male pokemon see ditto how breeders see ditto how haters see ditto how blind people see ditto doctor doctor hi how are you patient i'm doing good thanks doctor then get the out then we only want the sick people not the healthy people come on there is an earth around the nearest star scientists confirm oh you mean earth wow wow thanks scientist glad to know the money's going to good use world's most pathetic elevator chime it has its ups and downs me scores a point enemy team debates with the referee referee no no he's got a point i'm japanese and one time i was on the phone with my mother speaking in japanese someone yelled at me to speak english so i just yelled back english and continued my conversation my mother had no clue what was going on and i still laugh about that hey you speak english that's the language i speak in so you have to speak that language as well i have no developed sense of culture and i'm a closeted xenophobe so you have to do like me or else you're a bad guy uh i don't know what that was but uh yeah that's perform take that as a performance piece the word dip summer navy may look ridiculous but backwards it's even more stupid oh it is wow oh i'm a victim of a dad joke the eraser is as long as the beads the broom is as long as the straws the nail is as long as the screws you said fill in the blank you didn't say what he had to fill it in with so i mean hey he did it right in my opinion he's getting the f out of there i gotta get the f out of here an abbreviation of the word fan art would be fart the same rule applies for fine arts too please color danish flag swedish flag finnish flag oh what do you mean he's wrong i mean hey you finished the race congratulations to get to the museum of fire use the next exit uh you know no it's okay i i think i'll uh i think i'll take a break it seems like they're very busy today how do you survive a five mile fall without a parachute me easy fall from six miles so you're already alive after falling for five miles like i mean i can't beat that logic son why do you have all a's except for an f in report card forgery class i don't know but it seems to suggest that i'd be incapable of forging my own report card ah yes of course the opposite of formaldehyde is casual the jekyll i can't believe i read this post with my own freaking eyes i can this is my favorite one so far one frame per second 60 frames per minute the girl you're talking to says she has no friends oh but you realize you can't be friend zoned if she doesn't have friends oh yeah baby that's a really weird way to think about it but if it makes you happy it makes you happy you should see how violent throwing ice into a deep fryer is or frozen turkeys or live turkeys nope nope nope nope we went too far when you play through the game again oh shoot here we go again geology rocks but geography is where it's at what has made you say yep this person's going places i once saw a man in the airport boarding on his plane with his passport out and that is exactly what it made me think i want to combat this i want to be like oh you little but he's got a point garfield we need dark mode for discord aussie this is dark mode garfield no this is grey mode yeah we want that pitch black none of that grey none of that messed up grey stuff no pitch black for dark mode i'm with you garfield [Laughter] [Music] 44 divided by five 44 over five me calculator why are you booing me i'm right we have us we have us we have what where'd it go us they had us in the first half i'm not gonna lie i mean yeah this hedgehog is crossing the street the sign is accurate i wonder if they glued the hedgehog to the street just to make sure the sign was perfect he's like i gotta stay here all day just to make this sign work the hospital you were born in is the only place you left without entering ah you monster just take the upvote if animals could talk which animal would be the rudest yeah probably humans now that's a fact top 4 things that humans cannot see without their bare eyes oh yeah let's see we got harry potter and his invisibility cloak we got uh predator we got john cena and uh oh my gosh is that all my friends hey get it because i don't actually have friends that's kind of the joke huh okay moving on how to be good at talking one polite greeting two name three relevant personal link or manage expectations hello my name is ignigo montoya you killed my father prepare to die mwah perfect execution insane fact the blue whale is so large that if it laid long ways on a basketball court the game would be cancelled jiu-jitsu the gentle art of folding clothes while people are still in them my iris is misshapen but no known eye problems after 25 years this is a pie chart of how much of your iris isn't missing oh no cougar you might gotta run for your money this this person's eyes are pretty cool my name is justin i didn't ask just in case i don't know why these jokes get me but they always do i'm i'm a dad joke kind of guy i'm ashamed but i'll admit it please put ketchup on the shopping list okay no problem huh i can't read a dang word of this why would she tell me to do this you guys can't read lmao if those kids could read they'd be very upset well yeah good thing they can't read stay on the right path even if you walk alone ah that's the left path well we don't know he might be walking towards us in which case he is walking in the right path it's all about perspective thinking about the guy who fully told me if you keep saying you're a lesbian men won't want to date you oh good then just keep saying it if your dog does a poo please put it in the litter bin i'm sorry scruffy but the sign says to i've come for your soul yeah i knew you'd becoming death so i waited in my living room so you just let him go look my hands were tied what are did you hear that voice crack i heard that voice crack what are signs of a low iq lower than average scores on iq tests so true yet so pointless wanna see my boob oh yes please [Laughter] no sex before marriage say it after me me it there i followed your rules now can i go have sex mount rushmore before it was carved its beauty was unprecedented literally me he died of natural causes judge no you pushed him off the roof me but gravity is natural judge you son of a gun he's right the never ending story run time oh it's just a one hour and 47 minute movie liar hey honey i got you the nintendo switch oh really grandma thank you you shouldn't have oh you you really you really shouldn't have nothing starts with n and ends with g no no he's got a point onion rings are just vegetable donuts change my mind i would love to see somebody sit down like what are you gonna do you can't argue with that logic it's too so it's too concrete she what's wrong me every sea in pacific ocean is pronounced differently has the world gone mad a pair of heads suddenly appear on your head panic they're gone calm they're back and your head starts shaking panic politicians are flammable this seems like a threat if i was a politician i'd watch out oh i'm glad i'm not going to a school in germany or else i'd probably fail why well i don't speak german yeah that might be a problem how to beat any escape room 10 proven tricks and tips i heard you can escape in less than one minute by having a panic attack in the corner what am i gonna do i gotta get out of here help somebody help me sir calm down we're gonna let you out i said calm down in 1977 we received a radio signal from space that lasted 72 seconds and to this day we still don't know where it came from uh yes we do it came from space why you little cheating ex-girlfriend sends apology letter guy sends it back graded using a red pen achievement unlocked returned to cinder single father tries to end world hunger with his rock collection hashtag explain a film plot badly yeah thanos was just trying to save you i mean sure he was going to kill half of you but that's what happens if the number 666 is considered evil then 25.8069758 is the root of all evil yep the math checks out open your eyes jack stop pretending you're my shadow oh man i was having fun people who don't want to be a sheep are freaking crazy your job is to eat all day and get haircuts your boss is a dog people all over the world fall asleep thinking about you i mean i hate to be philosophical here but we're all sheeps to the government this is one of the single player games out there not one of the best just just one of the games was this helpful i really don't know but it was funny grain of rice world's smallest computer guys under six feet hey you wanna go out sometime anyone sell netflix accounts yeah netflix does i am smart how dare you stand where he stood dumbledore has stood everywhere in this school what do you want me to do float uh yes well that's too bad i'm not gonna do it friends are like snowflakes when you pee on them they disappear oh my goodness what are you doing hey where are you guys going you bunch of snowflakes ah yes enslaved snowman blood delicious oh i mean that's pretty useless they can't say there's no soap in the dispenser yeah but they can go home very disappointed does this song have a name yes okay thanks good to know it's not like i needed the name of the song or whatever no no it's fine it's okay i'll be fine i'm fine what would you use a space telescope to look at uh space that's kind of obvious how much would a trip to spain cost it depends where you live for example if you live in spain it's free sir i'm telling you speed is relative yeah yeah einstein we heard it all before if you eat food in a store and stay long enough to poop it out in the store then it's not stealing you're not wrong but i just hate that why in the world is there a tomato on the train because it's the subway you'll get no sympathy for me you want sympathy look in the dictionary it's between and syphilis oh dang that's a pretty hardcore phrase i wouldn't be surprised if i saw it on im14 and this is deep take on me 4k music video she shouldn't date him he looks kind of sketchy yeah this whole situation looks like it's a little sketch your genitals are older than your teeth huh okay well i'm gonna go internalize this information by crying in my shower thanks a lot would you rather take a bullet for your partner taking things that aren't yours is theft yeah sorry hon you gotta die did you know the pool on the titanic is still filled with water it always has and it always will i'm a cashier at mcdonald's i'm a transaction expert for a multi-million dollar company that's right baby put some respect on my name [Laughter] i'm a circle no no he's got a point there's three actually oh this is hurting my brain fire truck yeah what'd you expect you expected it to not be on fire it's a fire truck i mean really what did you expect why don't we just put all the ocean water in a cup clean out the bottom and then pour it back i don't know that's like a lot of water man we might need two cups we'll need at least seven had to show my wife this photo i took as she didn't believe me when i told her i saw a unicorn today who is this man and how much does he get paid that might have to be my side hustle i mean it looks dope my first time using an elevator was an uplifting experience the second time let me down ever notice when geese fly in a v formation one side is always longer than the other this is because there are more geese on that side wow you just wasted my time reading that okay fine be like that meme remember taking the vegetables off your double bacon cheeseburger decreases the amount of calories consumed oh thanks uh bad health advice when was cars released june 9 2006 when was pixar's cars video game released june 6 2006 lightning mcqueen is a video game character and now we all have to live with that knowledge water is bad because 10 out of 10 people that drink water die it's a conspiracy man that water's gonna kill you i just checked my bank account and figured out that i can live comfortably without working for the rest of my life as long as i die on wednesday upgrades people upgrades don't fart in an apple store why not they don't have windows ah let me add them let me add them if wookies have a 400 year life span then han solo is basically like chewbacca's third dog han would have lived longer if chewie had gotten him neutered that would be a weird like extra scene to add into the movie i lost my workbook what should i do look for it oh wow you're literally the worst type of person nothing is written in stone yeah you're right i read it right there right in the stone i bought an xbox just to play this i bought it today ah no you bought it three years ago i mean hey the tags do check out can't argue with that logic well everyone that's my time i really hope you enjoyed this video of r slash technically the truth i'm your host david the baker and if you liked this video make sure to leave a like down below and don't forget to press the subscribe button and the notification bell to be notified of all our easy peasy uploads if you want to hear more of me check out my channel links in the description down below but until then i'll see you in the next video peace out and three thumbs up

Channel: EzPz

Views: 665,785

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, r/technicallythetruth, r/technicallythetruth top posts, technically the truth, r/technicallythetruth best posts, r/technicalythetruth emkay, emkay, r/technicallythetruth ezpz, ezpz, ez pz

Id: g7yiJQ-6G44

Length: 17min 57sec (1077 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 04 2020