r/TIHI · mouse pad

if you had a bad cough take laxatives then you will be afraid to go off excuse me guys i need to go to the bathroom i'll be back narrating in five seconds okay now that's cleaned up what's up beautiful amazing sexy people of the internet welcome back to easy peasy i'm cougar i'm today's narrator and well today we're looking at the opposite of what you are thanks i hate it because i love all you with that said let's get to it oh will senpai i love eating your feetsy weedsies fed two days fed seven days fed 14 i hate ticks i hate ticks i legit hate ticks every animal on the planet has a purpose except for ticks and wasps both of them should leave yeah again i hate ticks i hate ticks with a passion they have no purpose except to cause disease and suck cute little dogs and cats blood your evil sons of guns oh oh my i guess we know what cars would look like in real life and i don't like it but it's also a hippo and i don't like that either look how cute my child is her child got any video games on your phone my friend justin he's cracked and fortnite the light was broken in the guest room on the wall was a painting of a face i barely slept the next morning i saw the painting was actually a window i just wanna come inside and snuggle steve let me snuggle store your loved ones ashes in a 3d printed urn in the shape of their head come on kids come look at my wife your grandma she's on the desk look at her ah grandma it's so weird hey i'm so alone me and the bus make out sometimes i'm tired too man refused to give up busy for pregnant woman oh geez my that's uh it's a little too far you don't have to give the seat for like an obese person because like a lot of times they're just fat and they choose to be fat but pregnant person let them sit damn it lick lick lick laughs i i love the last panel for the girl's face but what's going on with that freaking the kids ugh no and rita's shirt eight is great ah yes nothing like eating just that stringy little piece of poop of the shrimp that's what that line is by the way you're eating shrimp poop when you eat a shrimp what do you turn your head and the snapchat filter goes away i love you you love me oh my god i'm pretty yeah that's how i feel all the time wow i love your dress thanks it has pocket dimensions stop rifling our dimension with your giant hands please millions are dead i can never find my keys in these things no global warming is a hoax yeah you're done for now penguins you're done for thought i'd make some pancakes tonight flipped a pancake and almost freaking cramped my pants pancake tuesday holy crap no what are you something that wishes to die [Music] i love krillin also this kind of reminds me of kong's face when godzilla's kicking his butt cursed image good morning to everyone except this person you can find a bridge and you know you know you know what to do yeah buzz is the coolest toy ever howdy annie i'm actually alive wow you can talk this is so cool you're my favorite toy ever to infinity and to andy's mom's therapist cause because yeah that kid's gonna have some problems now i'll bring you charlie you will what huh okay uh-huh no oh look it's a karen popper and i don't like it at all i think that being here with you snuggled up cozily warm and safe is the greatest gift i could possibly ask for i think the greatest gift is these virtually reality goggles yeah life's good life's so good don't take off the glasses just don't take off the glasses satan meeting the new arrivals you seem innocent enough why are you here ooh [Music] papa seitan i've been so bad oh are you gonna punish me senpai nozzle wuzzles stay the freak away from me my family and my domain of hell go up to earth they're the only ones that deserve you helicopter mode i think you mean tails mode just with one one one tail and it's actually a head and yeah i can do a pigeon impression [Music] yeah it kind of sounds bad in audio it'd be freaked up if our teeth were always flaccid but got hard when we eat i was having a good day so is cougar can you imagine trying to talk with waggly fleshy teeth flapping around in your mouth like weird and bull noodles stop making it worse what the hell do you got doing today yeah my teeth are a little more floppy i've got my erectile dysfunction teeth but don't worry i got my bacteria fart slave please fart on me daddy fart in my suit ah yeah with the thought on me daddy i don't need croc on me daddy no thank you the sound of mom brought a friend home from the bar so jessica so nice to meet you oh my god i love margaritas and macaroni at 4 am while my kids trying to sleep oh my god me too erica did i really need to go get a pot and pan from the kitchen to do this i'm so sorry oh my god i love summer not on my watch yeah never mind it was good while it lasted zach weinersmith weiner smith i don't know there was nothing between their bodies but his fanny pack he reached to unzip it but she stopped him leave it on she whispered get the condom from your sock gently he worked open the velcro on his right sandal oh my god that's such a nice piece of velcro daddy get it because it's like dad bod because he wears a fanny pack yeah finally a mannequin that shows how the shirt will really fit yeah yeah dad bought all the way actually actually as someone who wears cargo pants a lot for the pocket space i could get behind this no cougar this is you who has some fashion sense don't do it but think of all the storage space and the snacks i can sneak into the movies don't do it i already bought em respawn bedtime stories i'm watching you little one when you've noticed that the nose isn't upfold oh yeah it's all coming together i love this movie the good news we finally have solid confirmation on how gif is pronounced the bad news the old english word gif is pronounced if no yes yes this is the language of cleveland king solomon suggesting cutting the baby in half yes daddy yeah ah spring finally he has come to end our pitiful existence i am the almighty spring soon the world will be better when it's in flames and bouncy joy okay yeah it's cursed but i'm just a little confused on the dynamic here are those two big green legs on the left both the moms is that the dad in the letterman's jacket is the fish like their little brother what is going on here what is going on here what is going on here yeah no thank you stop trying to make a toxic relationship work and just move back to your hometown date someone from your high school class conceive a child three months into the relationship force a marriage and spend the rest of your life living for the myrtle beach vacation you take every july why does this why does this feel like it's targeted at my family because this didn't happen but every year we lived for that myrtle beach vacation it wasn't in july though we were smarter than that which is creepier the animatronic elvis i ripped the face off of while disassembling it or the selfie with me wearing his face my friend they're both terrible never took your shirt in again i don't like that you can see an outline of his thing i really don't like that at all hey your uterus here just wanted to let you know i've got everything ready and prepped for the baby it's gonna be so great having him in here i'm not having a baby is that so yeah i'm at some points i hate being a guy but i'm at least glad i was born genetically a guy for this exact reason happy birthday to you we hate you ooh enjoy your crappy cheesecake because you're secretly so if i'm a human what the frick is this a model of well jessica evolution that's what it is what if instead the flake snow fell all at once like six inches of snow just plummeted to earth in one thick blanket sitting off card alarms and knocking people over but that was it that was the snowstorm incoming we lost 58 people today when they didn't read the weather report you may have captured me but i'll never tell you the secret launch codes tell me no no no mr bond with this mind projector you'll show me i'm so pregnant james what'll i do with all the milk god jesus i i love sonic but like the sonic phantom online it gets so weird sometimes man it's a pogos and uh [Music] of course aren't they adorable this place offers a trump pizza half mexican style half bacon cheeseburger separated by a wall of mutualistics it's almost as cursed as all those crappy accents i just did man phil's bowling ball with father's ashes then rolls a perfect game thanks dad no problem son just keep the ball close to the ground because he's down here yep oh poppy ended up in the firey place gotta catch em all go come on no oh yes yes dad i actually like this 1010 this proposed military budget for 2022 is 730 753 billion [Music] i don't like this wrap-up i got a snitch in every state me wondering how there are liquid and gas snitches don't forget about plasma if england did video games about plumbers oh it's a me a mark this is the worst thing i've ever seen in my life then you haven't met dmitry the plumber he uh he has extra arm from radiation of chernobyl wait a damn minute no no this ain't no no no no no just no no no no no no everyone in our household has second-handedly kissed each other through kissing our cat's forehead i'm never kissing a cat again why are you so tired he haunts me in my sleep who does elon tusk actually this from a movie called tusk pretty weird but i like it what you think zelda was 20 years ago what zelda was 20 years ago ah wind waker wind walker whatever it was called i never beat you and i never will [ __ ] you made a mistake there church you made a mistake that you made a great great cover if i had a nickel for every time i got confused i'd be like where'd this nickel come from and then there'd be another nickel in there think what's with the nickels leading to more nickels and confusion and eventually i'd be slowly crushed by nickels without ever knowing why ah that's the way i want to go at walking into the kitchen and dying in a pile full of nickels if your name defines your work vasectomy specialist called dick chop well i'm cougar wait does that mean i'm gonna date people who are younger than me oh but it means i'm attractive but also ew i'm a cougar oh god that or i'm an animal i don't know i'm moving on remember when you told me you liked my eyes the other day i was really happy please accept this gift i'll give you the other one too please please senpai eating is honeybun why are the humans the only animals that drink milk as adults well it's easy for you you have supermarkets and stuff hey mary can i suck some milk from your titties beat it pervert you see that's why chugga chugga chugga chugga nightmares nightmares just remember there's an episode of thomas where the train didn't want to get dirty so they literally bricked him up and left him to die jesus having sex call me daddy oh god perfect babe improvised weaponry they beat jesus with that vegan bdsm equipment the post killed me three times but uh ooh baby i am i'm a vegan bdsm expert now a shield that looks like an anime girl's head this is the worst thing i've drawn oh hit me harder senpai when you messed up the template yeah just kind of yeah that'll do why do people get their fisting records tattooed hey man if i did that it'd be all the way up to my head wait what no shut up uh never mind mozart cinderella mozzarella a cutting board not a baking sheet you don't say i think it's a melty board now smash my wife oh jesus i'm a cockroach okay oh yeah yeah no i don't know no the dinosaurs had sex and look what happened to them hashtag abstinence cool kids hashtag i can deal with the two kissing i can deal with the one something but the other ones are straight up doing it like reverse cowgirl dinosaurs don't work that way oh yeah i'm a huge fan of mad max and tetanus live die live again the majestic mantar half man half other man i hate this i hate this so much and i want everyone to see it i mean look at the beauty fox news shows news about foxes bbc news i think we all know where this is going pull out the big beautiful care bears big beautiful care burst that's what bbc stands for right yeah yeah yeah i don't think i could ever be pregnant because the thought of having eyes inside my body creeps me out thank you thank you for making me imagine that every single time i see a pregnant lady now hey man it's been a long time how are you doing me listen i need a favor just a little favor come down here in the kingdom cutting onions does not make you cry but cutting a mushroom shoulder does sure it does you ever just be so bored you decided to shave a strawberry no because i'm not a sick freak but you are apparently i've seen many creative ways to indicate the men's and women's toilet but this one left me speechless this is sexist shut up us guys like to talk a lot too the origin of unicorns i'm gonna [ __ ] that horse oh yeah narwhals narwhals humping lots of horses causing a commotion dad stares at people with blue hair also dad look at his sweet haircut i just gave the dog meet susan a 42 year old man posing as a 15 year old online girl susan and your 13 year old just made plans to meet at the park why is he unzipping his skin why are his eyes so dead inside like the guy from the human centipede 2 blow my mind 0 to the power of 0 is greater than zero to the power of one thanks thanks so much triangular usb connectors were soon abandoned after some users complained of needing to rotate them up to six times before successful installation yeah i'm just gonna leave that there my booty hole after 47 wipes and i still find poop stop wiping there's so much raw and blood girls during puberty yeah that's gotta suck boys during puberty yeah yeah we beat the meat all right wait what before oh after guys does anyone know where you can bulk buy at alligator otc i need more than what cbs stocks to make the batter for my world famous oh allegra chicken hello please only take a leg right as directed find directions uses and warnings on our website why why why why allegra chicken what is going on here if you're gonna do a gender reveal party don't play koi with color smoke or whatever when you blow up the cake i expect to see a giant sign saying it's a penis showers are dicks raining down the confetti you invited us here to celebrate genitals karen you wanted this what happens when women is it just like i don't know taco shells filled with candy red licorice and maybe like cupcake boobs that would be amazing i demand rating genitals at all gender reveals maybe then california won't catch on fire as much then if you've made it this far you hate me less than i thought you did thank you so much for listening feel free to like comment subscribe let us know we like see more down in the comments below have a good day be good people and remember stay safe out there everyone the world's a little weird you

Channel: EzPz

Views: 85,907

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, TIHI

Id: xzwFFaLVkr4

Length: 18min 30sec (1110 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 07 2021