r/ThereWasAnAttempt · thanks dad...

I always told people I met Michael Jackson but now that I found the picture man WTF who the Freak was lifts how's it goin everyone and welcome back to easy peasy my name is Zac and today we're to be taking a look at our slash there was an attempt dear Amazon I bought a toilet seat because I needed one necessity not desire I do not collect them I am NOT a toilet C addict no matter how tempting Li you email me I'm not going to think oh go on then just one more toilet seat I'll treat myself solution is for all healthy people to get it and the risk zone people to be quarantined if we stay at home we will just prolong the procedure stick to the music we love you as an artist but you're not an epidemiologist epidemiologist yeah so steer clear of giving health advice brother it's dangerous and unwise use your brain think are you I've got to Public Health degrees and I work for the Australian Government Department of Health with a background in statistics in epic epic damião kind it's such a epidemiology so yeah kind of man what about you yeesh signals that baffled astronomers for 17 years traced two observatories microwave oven nice being a non-binary Spanish speaker freaking blows English non-binary Spanish there's feminine and masculine no binary ax and no binary Oh kind of defeats the purpose don't you think do you know how sexy it is when he teases you in bed with a bird leaf bur you mean a feather my mom versus my dad happy birthday my love wish you nothing but the best mommy love you thank you I love you happy 18th birthday I'm 19 okay man digs 12 feet deep hole without realizing his metal detector was picking up his steel toe-caps safety boots come on man the all-day breakfast is served until 11:30 a.m. wait a second French is such a beautiful language these toilets are not to be used for cottaging cest toilets need Delvian to pass ad lib um sex nice cleopatra Caesar nice yeah there sure was an attempt to a woman discovers bar of soap she's been washing her hands with for days is a block of cheese surely you would recognize her you would you would you would notice hey this doesn't feel or smell or act like soap people stupid how do I convince my capitalist friend that communism isn't bad our capitalist friend yes of course my bed our band how did people in the Middle Ages know what skeletons look like without x-ray machines edit I forgot about dead people undercover cops posing as drug buyers are arrested by undercover cops posing as drug dealers taxpayers Sam Smith's shares emotional snaps of quarantine meltdown at 12 million pound home and Frank lived in the cupboard for two years grow up a rare bird spotted in England it turned out to be a seagull covered in curry Ross lebu of Texas was arrested in early December for possession of what police thought was a half a pound of meth in the bees vehicle the meth as it turns out was actually kitty litter Olivia was using to reduce fog on his windows I loved his mug shop definitely a face that says I can't wait till you idiots have to apologize to me sorry but you look like 35 just stop the vegan diet please you're ruined your health and skin thank you I'm 44 my baby truth be so good thought this was a dog puffs yes same always remember the decimal point when ordering a seven point five millimeter drill bit I don't mean to be flippant but you don't get plagues from salad outbreak of E coli infections linked to romaine lettuce yikes oh there was an attempt to give her a sip of a drink there sure was not quite her mouth when you eat you're not actually eating you're just chewing and swallowing yeah that's that's called eating why the hell is there a chicken in my school she crossed the road and risked her life to get an education and y'all are judging her just because she comes from a different species it's pretty racist actually just let a chicken get an education football oh no elephant you can't do that and that's that that that's not socially acceptable pretty sure I just received the best fake idea of my bartending career a girl handed me my missing license from like two years ago Oh breaking news video game players are urged to play at reasonable times to avoid putting an extra strain on Internet networks during the course outbreak online gaming is the biggest threat to Internet bandwidth these next few weeks um no video games use around 50 to 75 megabytes per hour streaming on Netflix uses around three gigabytes per hour for HD video to put that into perspective Netflix uses more than 30 times the data that video gaming uses I'm mad teachers told us if you don't do well in school you're gonna be the garbage man and never told us the garbage man made more than them after all the aftermath and destruction of the Notre Dame fire the ultra and cross remained untouched please explain how you don't believe in God after seeing this because of the melting point of gold is 1061 or Celsius in a wood fire burns that around 600 Celsius he's not wrong oh no this guy he sure tried III admire the the attempt I want my money back ultimate blends hand at restoring cream maybe this will work nothing's happening no honey you got it you got to put it over your nose too well there's no point in wearing the mask hipster gets mad his photo was used in an article about how all hipsters look alike then finds out it wasn't him good morning to all the kids under quarantine in Wuhan who defeated the app assigning them homework by spamming it with one star reviews until I got remove from the App Store when the KGB tried to blackmail Indonesian president Sukarno with videotapes of him having sex with Russian women disguised as flight attendants he wasn't upset he was delighted and asked for more copies of video to show back in his country good God found a job opening that requires 8 plus years of Swift experience Swift is a programming language that came out three years ago come on Joker without makeup that's really disrespectful he was clearly injured in some sort of way maybe war what-have-you he's probably so depressed his face is scarred like this he has to wake up every day seeing this in his own face why would you make fun of him like this freak off seriously anyone who would make fun of this is just pricked up I actually think he's still more attracted than like half the guys out there people with this face like this you guys do realize that this is literally the Joker without makeup this is Heath Ledger in the dark night and a scene where he's hiding in a group of policemen people are done walk in on my kid playing with these I'm raising a little doctor now you're raising a serial killer you can say please and thank you a million times in your toddler will never repeat it but if you say ass faced mother-fricker once falls little dog oh he's he's making an attempt he's trying to get through deep fried lost children no thank you oh my god yeah a face mask out of a bra it's not a whole face mask though it's just it just goes over the mouth the nose the CDC says only 31% of men and 65% of women wash their hands after using the restroom so 96% total that's almost everybody but get your clicks that's not never mind repeat after me men are stupid I agree I mean your father could have used a condom but here you are dude fricked 100 oh no only she could see ya a quarter a day for a year we'll get you 9000 125 dollars a quarter a days 365 dollars to get some limited-edition quarters or something Jesus Christ come on I'll plant my SMG in your mom's face how many chromosomes do you have more than you add yeah that you're not helping yourself there buddy guess what's back back again shrimp nibblers are back tell your friends I've never heard anyone say yo I'm starving let's go to White Castle there's literally a movie about it teens what do you think Jesus's favorite gun would be a nail gun not hashtag funny consider yourself hashtag blocked that is funny though congratulations on wasting one hundred billion dollars landing a remote-controlled buggy on Mars not sure how this is supposed to help us poor people here on earth but great job the money doesn't get sent to Mars idiot it gets spent and put back into the economy just because the government isn't hand feeding it to you it doesn't mean it left America you should only eat six fries per serving Harvard professor says shut the Frick up nerd this pup couldn't hack it as a drug sniffing dogs now he sniffs out the poop of elusive animals in the name of conservation all I read was cool doggies in an arc become scientists the greatest moment in TV history was when Jamie Oliver showed children how McNuggets are made and smugly said now who would still eat this and literally everyone put the hand up and it looked really sad being quarantine is so boring wow she's starting only fans one pandemic at a time please no English word has double-o except the word food and prove me wrong this is proof that preschool education is important in childhood and that choosing the right books and tools to learn it's more important than Nollywood for now get a stool go back to the classroom and learn some coordination don't be a hooligan Dale don't like the use of the r-word but that aside nice meme what's the R word [ __ ] Lowell made you say it [ __ ] outstanding move this photographer removed phones from his images and the results are a disturbing reality check I too think it would be different if we were staring into our empty palms are not an incredibly complex device which gives us access to almost all the information in the world and could be used to communicate with other people stop saying she's my wife that's sexist AF period hello everyone meet Lorraine and she's the woman I freaked on the night of my wedding thanks for the flight Southwest air had a great time we're happy you enjoyed the extra legroom we look forward to seeing you again next time Lauren the man is peeing how the F do they not realize they hung it up sideways homegirl looks like she snatched up the baby and flew away before after so the virus is turning all the people into pigeons now you literally proud of this but I feel like I need to tell everyone you see that tiny pickle on the upper left-hand side I spent a good 30 seconds trying to fish that dude out before I realize that the pickle was actually my pinky under the jar nice flying train could be coming your way so a plane author asks why his book called but no more plastic was wrapped in plastic huh cops beat Chinese man after asking for his name I've lost all faith in our Police says foq Princess Charlotte already speaks two languages of just two years old so do most children of immigrants but I guess it's less impressive when they're poor to run from a flying predator oh no private prison threatens to close unless state or federal officials fill up 300 more beds in any sane country having to shut down in a prison due to lack of criminals would be a success but supply creates his own demand in breaking news moments like this there should be a type of podcast you can listen to in real-time easily accessible for free radio you're thinking of a radio police and Turkey blast a pride parade with water accidentally creates rainbow nice Steve Irwin was killed while harassing array he dangled his baby while feeding a crocodile and wrestled wild animals who were minding their own business today's Google Doodle sends a dangerous fawning message wild animals are entitled to be left alone in their natural habitats you're like the CUDA wasn't invited to the party but came anyway and shat in the pool just to get a reaction basically yeah after a long year my husband finally believes I'm ready to carry his child in my womb to feed them with my body to give him my whole body for his descendants I'm ready to receive his seed to become fully his can't wait to be impregnated to be owned Congrats on the raw doggin how can you eat these precious creatures is this rhetorical or are you looking for recipes non Internet users what are your reasons for not using the Internet how do you expect them to respond sane loves me stay the Frick away from me my neighbor told me coyotes keep eating his outdoor cat so I asked how many cats he has and he said he just goes to the shelter and gets a new cat afterwards so I said it sounds like he's just feeding shelter cats to coyotes and then his daughters started crying oh no 2020 was directed by me still better than season eight Oh sir can I sit down I'm pregnant hell no next time Frick someone who has a car how to draw a sheep draw a cloud legs a circle for the head and there you have it a sheep someone draw a sheep using these instructions it's really helped I think this is the best shape I've ever drawn when you're in an aviation unit post a badass pic to your IG you eat it makes it a poster and hangs on the wall I don't shoot to wound shoot to kill right just had a job interview at Walmart and they showed me a video of me shoplifting Jesus Christ well you're not getting that job so they really clothed school tomorrow they shared it down that sucks I was underwear of this is it because the sweater look at this and just try and tell me that all three of these women don't look exactly the same try and tell me the Disney isn't lazy when it comes to creating women Wow two sisters in their mom you're right why on earth where they look the same she's got a 97 percent survival rate in the whole country panicking if I gave you 100 skills and told you three of them could kill you I'm sure you would avoid the freaking skittles no lighter but we got science how did you not have a lighter but you did have a magnifying glass how to never get caught smoking weed up next got caught smoking weed SunnyD tastes like someone made a bet that they could make orange juice without oranges SunnyD tastes like someone made a bet that they could make orange juice without oranges yeah the person I'm ready who thought of this was funny at least credit them if you're gonna steal their joke my bros tattoo didn't turn out so good yep I've seen this one this I'm not a bloody taxi service if you want a lift I expect money that would make you a taxi service guy at store was carrying five pallets of TP woman shouts oMG I can't believe this and starts filming him going are you proud of yourself sir he gives her a funny look then starts putting the rolls in the Shelf revealing his nametag he was a worker restocking the shelf why males take so long to mature y'all [ __ ] or something why females take so long to get ready y'all ugly or something I'm sorry Blake this is awkward but that's not a police car you vaped in front of a water service vehicle nice why is there Braille on the number pads on vending machines when they can't even see the numbers for the food good point hey Victoria police is this sort of driving legal on Victorian roads hi Roger yes it is illegal to use your mobile phone including taking photos while driving and stopped at a red light Wally I'm a PC Eve I'm a Mac Wally function autonomously for over a hundred years Eve was locked down remotely and has no replacement parts yikes these are challenging times now more than ever we are committed to continue providing our consumers and communities with our foods and beverages we are working closely with our partners to make this happen you guys copyrighted water in Africa s image stop saying I wish and start saying I will I will my parents still loved me women clean Juarez theater after getting vandalized by feminists in Women's International Day Millennials replacing engagement rings with diamonds embedded in the fingers know the frick were not if you don't know the difference between there there and there you're a idiot well this is awkward and well ladies and gentlemen just like that we have reached the end of our slash there was an attempt and many attempts there were thank you so much for watching if you enjoyed what you saw be sure that that subscribe button and the bells you get notified every time music easy uploads and until the next one I'll see you around [Music]

Channel: EzPz

Views: 645,115

Rating: 4.939261 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, r/therewasanattempt, r/therewasanattempt top posts, there was an attempt, attempt reddit, therewasanattempt reddit, emkay, ezpz, ez pz

Id: CGSDVQNeJw8

Length: 13min 31sec (811 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 07 2020