r/Technicallythetruth · poor guy :(

fear has two meanings forget everything and run or face everything and rise the choice is yours face everything and rise forget everything and run hello everybody welcome back to easy peasy i'm cougar the two different colored eyed curly haired weirdo and today we're diving into our slash technically the truth hey what's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze what a shoe you deserve that for your puns captain america you can't spell american dream without eric andre in the middle cheers i'll drink to that i've seen a lot in my life but never have i seen a man who was armed and unarmed at the same damn time this man looks like both the most threatening and least threatening man i've seen in a long time i mean what's he gonna do pull the gun out with his foot but then who knows he might just do that i slept like a baby last night last night uh oh i crapped my pants man i wish i could sleep like a baby then there would be no responsibilities but filling my pants with poop bacon egg and cheese this is wrong but also so so right how to get the perfect beachbody eat loads of sands i am a beach ooga chaka bring me ice cream chart to help you determine risk of bear attack mercury no risk of bear attack earth really very high risk of bear attack also no risk of bear attack pretty much anywhere but earth nah man that's what the space bears want you to think then bam they're taking your space salmon and picnic bags kiss away me making out with girlfriend on the couch her you want to take this to the bedroom all right i'll grab this end you grab the other yeah this is me trying to flirt probably why i still haven't had a girlfriend no one binary crap just went from zero to one zero man call me biodegradable because i break down really easily lauren me too girl i had a mental breakdown in the shower today birthdays are fatal in large dosages who are you who are so wise i wasn't hurt too badly the doctor said all my bleeding was internal that's what the blood's supposed to be yeah kinda bobby has four dimes amy has 30 pennies which child has more money bobby how do you know show your thinking hmm bobby this kid better get a hundred he deserves it the average human body contains enough bones to make an entire skeleton notice how he said the average some of us are missing appendages made a bookshelf for my brick collection hmm those are some nice looking bricks but my question is why are you lying that's a book and wood shelf you dirty liar carrots may be good for your eyes but booze will double your vision no no he's got a point a spoon is just a small bowl on a stick used to eat from a larger bowl that's what i'm saying and you know what free college for everybody man addicted to drinking brake fluid says he can't stop any time he wants no he'll die first me just born trying out breathing for the peer pressure of everyone else doing it a lifelong breathing addiction powell driver time i won't take a bullet for anyone because if i have time to jump in front of a bullet you have time to move you know you probably just made tons of songs seem completely pointless yeah yeah you did 24th thanksgiving 25th day after thanksgiving guy who made this calendar no no need to thank me i am just the superior calendar man 49 divided by 52 49 over 52 my calculator no no no no no no i make calendars too but there's no need to thank me i hate cancer culture imagine god canceling you because you did or said the wrong thing the very first bible story is god cancelling two people over an apple lmao what cancer culture's been around forever can't wait for it to happen to me can you please comfort my son doctor how often do little kids die from cancer hmm only once billy only once and you're gonna experience that mo dem festival hi do you accept children under the age of 2 at the festival no just credit card or cash thanks dang i want to trade in my freaking kid for some d ant word concert tickets come on too much change is not a good thing ask the climate i mean heck yeah that's probably why 2020 the planet's trying to kill us over here instead of all the negative postings here's a pic of some topless chicks in short skirts oh look at how cute they are this deserves to be in blessed images i present to you the chili cheese dog sonic and gordon ramsay are very disappointed in you most people think that t-rexes can't clap because they have short arms but really it's because they are dead or so they want you to think they're underground just like the mole people in poland we don't say sadwak in poland in we say and i think it's beautiful i translated that it said freaking uneven cobblestones good job poland six-year-old me one two skip a few 99 100 my classmates crap just went from zero to a hundred real freaking quick man for 24 hours all crimes are legal what crimes will you be committing none because they're legal now listen here you little son of a gun we did it in america we flattened the curve yeah damn straight we did god bless america me 14 at the grand canyon hey hey yeah check it out i'm at the grand canyon [ __ ] you can't say that good night honey good night dear when to visit my aunt who despite suffering from dementia has an intact sense of humor me how have you been i have no idea why aren't millennials buying diamonds et economist i work at the grocery store i can barely afford to eat how in hell did you get dick from richard you ask him real nicely and offer him hundred dollars if it takes that much come here richard doctor what happens after we die we clean the bed and admit a new patient technically the truth dear atheist how is it that a caveman survived the asteroid but the dinosaurs didn't social distancing they stayed 65 million years apart throw back to when i used to smoke pot and sniff coke sad emoji crying emoji crying emoji thank god i am a changed man now oh this this person is freaking hilarious if someone filmed you unknowingly and you went viral on reddit which subreddit would you most likely have been posted and why if my mom hadn't read it she'd probably post all my baby footage on our kids are freaking stupid i mean no kid is freaking einstein from birth except einstein of course fifty percent of roger federer's name is er you broke my brain breaking news google buys fitbit for 2.1 billion oh bad deal i bought mine for 69.95 69. flag of norway indonesia poland finland france netherlands thailand flag of oh that's freaking great describe what is meant by forgetting i can't remember you're a genius you [ __ ] you know that there's only two days in our lifetime that are not 24 hours the day we are born and the day we died i was born at exactly midnight i'm going to to kill myself at exactly midnight just to prove you wrong your obituary better say that you lived every day to the fullest anybody want my hand in marriage why would i marry a hand now that fine booty that'll marry always steal a man's wallet not his heart why would you not want his heart it could probably sell for more than what he has in his wallet in my case i don't even have a wallet i carry my money around in a paper clip essentially people have read it who were once homeless how did you change your life for good getting a home hey home is where you make it and for a year and three months it was my car i'm not joking saying shock infested waters is like saying human infested houses i mean they live there man that's just rude no no he's got a point if i said i love you would you say it back of course i love you it back remember kids if you don't sin then jesus died for nothing he's technically correct he's technically correct so everybody start rioting and pill or drink and just sin just sin i tried committing suicide today never doing that crap again i almost killed myself i'm the kindest man alive i'm a popular german chocolate company you're clearly kinder and kinder get it i'm not dumb look it up it's a candy company heave ho heepo pallets this is the most cutest interpretation of child labor yeah yeah it is anime has that effect on things if you have one lasagna and you stack another one on top you still have one lasagna i miss phineas and ferb i wish we could use laughing emojis in real life or you could just freaking laugh there russ you don't have to be such a sad guy even though your music is hey dad can i use a lawnmower to make some extra money sure you can son huh yeah where did her leg go well she sure let go of her leg but she's not letting it go anymore when sweden is playing denmark it is sui den the remaining letters not used are denmark dang you correct no liquids are allowed on board okay enjoy the flight full six percent of my body is liquid tricky tony one tsa zero can you change my car out for something a little more expensive thank you tanner student loans this guy's the joy of photoshop for me daddy why is the book so thick it's a long story now don't make me smack you with it and shut up carl why do you still work as a mailman on such a low salary it's not about the money it's about sending a message and of course knowing your address donuts are healthier than crystal meth i can't argue with that when she tells you she's not into middle-aged guys oh no this is more than just a flesh wound capable is my middle name i thought your middle name was the sonic the hedgehog minecraft java edition more than 500 sold wow wow thanks minecraft air and space museum hmm well there's plenty of space and there's plenty of air but i'm not seeing any uh space space if you know what i mean neurosurgeon can change my mind oh jesus promised to rid the world of sin we still have sin odin promised to rid the world of ice giants seen any ice giants lately oh yeah thanks odin and thanks thor you too gokay in my book what is your favorite paradox if you ask rick astley for his copy of the movie up he cannot give it to you as he will never give you up however in doing so he lets you down thus creating the ash bleep paradox a penny saved is a penny saved league of legends was playing league of legends congratulations you played yourself hmm thought this plywood looks weird got closer it's printed paper and scotch tape illusion 100 with the amount of ink they use they could have bought a hundred sheets of plywood it's actually just really thin plywood oh cause cause paper's made from trees happy 10th birthday son here's a rat now go into the woods and fight some strangers and don't come back until you've explored the whole continent this is basically the plot of pokemon you've ruined it for me people all asian look the same russian president for the last 20 years oh yes good vladimir putin good president no he's not holding pistol to back of hit no no no the shortest war in history was the anglo-zanzibar war of 1896 it lasted 38 minutes how did it happen quickly thanks since elon musk is from south africa that means he is the richest african man what is this wrong answers only it's an old school roomba pull the pin and it cleans everything in a 50 foot radius i wouldn't say the average landmine cleans a 50 foot radius i think it's more like 30 with explosive power and like an extra 10 with shrapnel i'm just i'm spitballing here i love the way the earth rotates it really makes my day i was throwing out ten thousand magic cards and the bag ripped lol magic the scattering this this actually really hurts me because old magikarps which is what those are you can tell from the border are worth a decent penny there's one card that's worth over like thirty thousand dollars and you're just throwing them away i would hurt you 2d girls might be cute but front view side view wow she's really flat chested normal human female on tick tock bra that's not a normal human that's a skeleton great now the tick tock skeleton's gonna make a tick-tock to the living tombstone spooky scary skeleton surgery is just stabbing someone to life unless it's a failed surgery star wars the force awakens an interracial couple gets chased by a man when a burning cross a burning upside down cross to be specific kitkat celebrates gay month by releasing a new kitkat with no straight lines i think they meant no parallel lines because those are still straight oh got him okay morty gorillas don't know any bodybuilding techniques so we've probably never seen one at full strength terrifying oh oh geez rick no i'm gonna have nightmares the inventor of the super soaker sea early 1980s he's a redditor yes i am you've single-handedly filled many summer days with hours of entertainment i had to use both hands you're more likely to be killed by a cow than a shark not if you're swimming i'm gonna argue that still because i grew up on a farm and we had a cow pond and i'd swim in the cow pond sometimes and you know some of the cows could have trampled me to death in there what's your biggest let's never talk about this again moment i would but i'll never talk about it again tar what what in tarnation i freaking hate you okay that's a definitely an interesting choice tattoo i wonder how this came about hey yo moms i'm gonna get a tattoo today what should i get dog if you don't have a need for one don't get it tattoos are for something important all right dog i got you justin timberlake timba in just the lake a normal conversation you can spell tony as patrick but it's still tony grand theft auto six trailer i see what you did there a question who said two things are infinite the universe and human stupidity and i'm not sure about the universe you just did there ah technically the truth why does venice italy look like patrick needing water that or uh there's a tongue going somewhere on patrick that's very unique spot to put a tongue what did your parents teach you that you would never teach your children how to rewind a vhs mike wazowski has two eyes mike wazowski i suppose it does when dew is on the grass rain will never come to pass when do is on the grass except a wet booty if you replace the w and win where and what with t you get their answers oh my god every machine is a smoke machine if you operate it wrong enough well this is the end of the video and that's the truth anyways feel free to like comment subscribe let us know down in the comments what you'd like to see more from us here at easy peasy have a good day and remember be good people

Channel: EzPz

Views: 281,652

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, r/technicallythetruth, r/technicallythetruth top posts, technically the truth, r/technicallythetruth best posts, r/technicalythetruth emkay, emkay, r/technicallythetruth ezpz, ezpz, ez pz

Id: iF4HceUVZT4

Length: 15min 25sec (925 seconds)

Published: Sat Oct 03 2020