r/CursedComments · Magneto's Puppet

if wookies had a 400 year lifespan that Han Solo is basically like Chewbacca's third dog Han would have live longer if Chewie had gone him knitted you're not wrong welcome back to easy peasy I'm cougar and today we're diving into our slash curse comments ha cars just like you do different colored eyes you freak yeah I guess let's get to the memes no matter how many balls he gets he still won't be able to keep getting his balls back oh poor pumpers but at least you're having fun if you could add a new food to minecraft what would it be bat meat head that would make that Minecraft all have a 6-foot rule wouldn't it when you die your voice is added to the course of children yelling high captain in the spongebob intro how would this work for mute people I can't hear you come on speak up you're darn mutes bridesmaids held rescue puppies instead of flowers oh thank you it's all fun and games until the bride throws the bouquet boy I really hope someone catches that or else we're gonna have a splat of a puppy ASMR goodnight 8 triggers to help you sleep the best trigger is the one that puts you to sleep forever you're not wrong I'm selling India sometimes he box because he has autism 9 bucks is a cheap meal even comes with free toothpicks yeah you're right you're right be human be human huh unless you have an allergy in which case Pearl Harbor all over again they been they both explode go slow accident area what are you doing step driver and just pulling over sweetheart f1 catch squirrel step to breed you domesticated fancy squirrels step 3 question mark question mark question mark question mark question mark question mark across from mark question mark step 4 tape my frickin money I followed your instructions I started breeding the squirrel but now I'm pregnant he wants to make it official and get married I'm not ready to settle down well it is basically how marriage works so I guess that step 4 is correct and step 3 would be getting married to the squirrel girl sounded like my 12th grade chemistry teacher yo WTF had mrs. ridges - I thought she sounded familiar bro I think we went to the same school I think that is mrs. Richards my lips forgot what a kiss feels like my arms forgot what a hug feels like I forgot how love feels like my forgot what a can of baked beans feels like yo WTF dude too much information look at how happy my dad is he just started baking school and I'm so proud my dream is to frake a pillow hey dude that can happen all you need is like 80 bucks eBay and you get yourself a pillow wife called the doc Emaar q why do guys always announce when they're going to come I've never had that happen to me hmm that's why you have a child in your profile picture you got him six-year-old me when I dig down 7 feet but I don't see China liar all they ever found with my siblings that in the dog how many are you cooking for I just want this so I can put my pin here and see how many people it feeds mm I'm such a crap kid of course referring to butt crack since YouTube wants to demonetised us bait for the 28th time what's for dinner me babe I'm so hungry my ex told me the same thing her legs were delicious and now she is inside me father that's romantic in a way I'm not crying bro my eyes are just coming no wonder it feels so good to cry you let me know if you ever need a shoulder to come on you know what both you coming to my house for a good long crying did I do it every night basically by our have a cute girlfriend or a hot girlfriend cute of course I would rather have you know living yeah that'd be nice for a change you know make a living have a living thing get a girlfriend opinions I tell people what I actually believe if the giant diglettz fingers are alive then I wonder what happens when he tries beating his meat does this qualify as a job I am so sorry I don't see any flaws in squatting me drop so squats down and picks it up instead of bending over prisoners ah when you squat it's your mouth not your booty marks now I see you're a sophisticated man thumbsticks I like to shove all of them up my anus what it is good time if you Manning me set another Rover named attention to Mars Earth to Mars you had my curiosity but now you attention every 60 seconds in Africa and minute passes so does ten children they die boys it's a sport yes or no jacking off is definitely a sport is jacking off a sport the question mark and the return of the king Apple watch says it is my mom says it is - hmm okay then ejaculation is murder and stop killing it's not murder if you eat it afterwards no it's cannibalism feudal Japanese samurai returns to his harem after war Powerpuff Girls has got a lot darker aircrafts go burn aircraft fire craft watercraft earth craft where's the tower craft oh yeah they're gone I went there let me snap to that kid cat bar how come people can snap kick at bars and nobody cares but when I snap someone's neck I get sent to prison tip the new nff looking sick hey Vsauce Michael here when will you die sounds pretty morbid right good as a matter of fact you're never technically safe from anything there's always the low chance that I'm in your house in your room behind you the chances are low but never zero or are they plants I'm a wave my genitals in the air humans mmm fragrant allergy season is caused by plants performing [ __ ] upon the whole of humanity why you make me read that with my eyeballs who wants to see me skin a Furby thought you said furry got excited for a second but I'll take furry as a consolation prize what two games when combined would make the best game ever Monopoly and strip poker seems like you can't afford my rent start stripping snitch family game night just got twisted oh well I'm sorry stepsister but you landed on my boardwalk with a hotel now take it off oh look at the cute little geckos which combo tastes better the car comes with a glass floor who's asking for this stuff the car even comes with a glass for so you can look down and see the guy you ran over was friend or not this would work a man who had a stroke in 2004 permanently lost the ability to feel sad I'm always a little happier for a few seconds after I have a good stroke - your daughter brings him home how do you greet him with a magnet now you probably killed him when your mom says you're adopted oh yeah baby wait you're only supposed to do that when you're adopted yeah kinda breaking Japanese politician busted looking at alligator pics during debate what did he do wrong though he pulled his pants down and started masturbating hey man at least he's wearing a mask he's got protection on it wouldn't have any tips on how I can shoot myself without making noise the anal cavity is the natural silence well life's already screwed me up the butt the rest of my life time to end it the way I came in the human body is 90% water so we're basically just cucumbers with anxiety so does that mean using a cucumber as a dildo is closer to mechs than sass to Batian hey I gotta say it that way YouTube D monetization is a pain in the bodhi man dies after freezing self an iceberg an attempt to be avatar aang record haha get trucked poser you say dang you say it pump the [ __ ] balls so Oh Bulbasaur you a dirty girl your heart rate is zero grandpa stop using my phone oh sorry forgot I was dead maxing the volume of hentai so that your parents won't hear you snapping onii-chan dice Kahoot son are you winning seriously yes dad yes well let me help you that's a good dad I'm the highest in the womb we plan to cut all homeless people in half by 2025 won't ya double the number of homeless people though it will double the amount of homeless bodies I'll tell you that much I can get a double cheeseburger so why can't I get a double hot dog I've developed a design for an extra wide bun that can accommodate two frankfurters at once hire me to bread ratio more surface area from mustard ARELIS the world is ready the time has come I was born into noble I already have two wieners and me I just got a micro one that I can reset my Wi-Fi with stop saying I wish start saying I will I will I wasn't broke I will I had parents I will it's so hard to boys who are virgins exists allow me to introduce ourselves technically we all had our penis in our mother but why would you say that dude why imagine being stuck in a room surrounded by everyone you've ever had sex with finally inner peace that's why I don't go to family reunions Android iPhone OS Oh androids better it's funny because the iPhones battery dies before Mufasa does also fair your jawline is stronger than my will to live I can respect that if you give me one food from any and movie what would it be mine is the eggs from Shrek Jessica rabbits booty me to friend me to new chandelier was installed in the apartment below stomp on the screws so blood drips down and they think it's a sign of Jesus Billy Eilish I'm so depressed Kurt Cobain hold my shotgun real quick Billy he saw us feeding the Ducks and pretended to be one co-ack why were you feeding the dog to the Ducks me dying in video games why is it when something happens it's always you 3 my stepsister doesn't let me concentrate is the real reason every woman's biggest nightmare is late marriage mine is getting out of toilet and hidden snakes attack my vajayjay but ok there man if this ain't relatable we talk I explain why fat to let go Indiana Jones they leave I meet someone we talk this psycho continues I thought everyone did this in my family they do but I guess my family is weird yeah man totally normal Wow how is this legal somebody think of the children lesbians have always been able to buy bread yeah dumb bunny when I was a kid I thought vegetarian and lesbian were the same thing well both lifestyles do lack meat homeless men set on fire while sleeping under bridge all right then light a fire for a man you keep him warm for a night light a man on fire you keep him warm for the rest of his life ruin a musical by changing one letter The Lion King social distancing is important it's all fun and games until someone loses an eye you got poked out by one of those tits over there before you judge please note that 90% of its under water barely legal ship on our maiden voyage gets destroyed by big white iceberg I freaking choked on my drink thanks dude that's freakin awesome plus it's cold so you know it only gets bigger these wings let you feel your partner's heartbeat anywhere in the world off isn't that sweet face timing right now Marcus I know your resting heart rate and this ain't it you running at 3:00 a.m. no one biology students Oh so the secret to a massive peepee is having a mom and a dad with huge dick so that's why I didn't get a big one sup guys guess who got laid last night a mind-blowing experience Dave are you feeling now mr. Krabs are ya teens a DBC wife I ever turned after killing multiple people teens 20 20 mom will fall up never before have I been so offended by something I 100% agree with wait y'all don't kill multiple people and have a wife at age 14 anymore I do but I'm still afraid of moss those things are scary dude moth fun fact moths are both stronger smarter and usually faster than butterflies would you take 200 cash for it today fool 50 and it's yours 225 the authority and the Bambi's McNuggets huh that's the best counteroffer I've ever heard what kind of sauce do you want yes the negotiator yeah until EJ's is on the Nuggets hey if that's the sauce he wants that's the saucy gets Harry Potter would be a good anime never mind I'd let dobby munch on my Nobby if you know what I mean you got no money no oh dear God ah you know the rules and so do I no money no ride no money you ride mm-hm degree in greeting types slide out 15 degrees salute 30 degrees respectful bow forty-five degrees 90 degrees equals not safer work or a very bad time in prison Soulja Boy not even a soldier dr. Dre ain't even a doctor keep it going French Montana isn't even the French Paul Walker isn't walking who's that Pokemon it's goofy imagine your ten year old self starts his Pokemon journey in the first thing you encounter on route 1 is a woman with a pocket rocket that's twice your weight it used her your mom is angry she calls you by your full name she calls you by your gamertag she calls you by your reddit user name then she calls you by you know premium user name huh look a few things a bit because everyone in my family uses the same knob account I like the suggestions my mom looks up men have read it yippee he's now prehensile you can control it and use it like an elephant trunk what are the most excited to use it for I stand in my house naked listening to classical music and pretend I am conducting the orchestra with my yes I mean your entire family Rachel yes I still hunger for more see that old lady over there bring her to me do my bidding like before just wanna go home you are home Rachel what are some children such moral stories tortoise and hare boy you cried wolf etc that are universal in all cultures and countries Red Riding Hood they teach that crap all over the world what actually is the moral of Red Riding Hood beware of the furries Russian military things form heart shape for soldiers marriage proposals if she doesn't accept the soldiers proposal they fire hmm so that's how I get a girlfriend the female reproductive system satanic Rams head this explains a lot so Satan is no you are what you eat hahahaha I say hello to your mother for ya when your secretaries [ __ ] was so good you almost told your wife Oh Hillary I had a wonderful day the seven seas the beat dropped hotter than my grandma down the stairs my gram-gram it's Lily known fact all PlayStation consoles were modeled after skyscrapers ps1 ps2 ps3 ps4 my friend jumped off the ps2 building ooh that sucks children born feet first briefly where their mother has a hat but no one is ready to talk about that children born headfirst briefly used their mother as a sleeping bag and children born sideways usually die but no one's ready to talk about that your guys ain't bought while people bro is my dream to pee from the top of a building and tonight people walking by you're a [ __ ] something is risen and it ain't my experience level what is it Steve from minecraft kids gonna have some sweet booty hair and also some sweet head hair hmm you're not wrong hold up where is his thumb oh my god the kitties face being angry makes sense now you monster when I was a little kid I had a pet turtle that my mom said went to living in the Hills believed them until I saw mom using a shell as an ashtray ooh truck ish pickup ish so that's why kidnappers news vans oh the kid disappeared that's funny oh crap it's vanish I'm an idiot that is freaking hilarious now this is the freaking crap that would qualify this year as the future I've tried these and it's fun and games until you take a sip and you get deep throat by a 4-inch ice rod just sayin hmm kind of turned me on hey me too helps me live out my Batman Arnold Schwarzenegger mr. freeze fantasy get to the ice cube you've got it mr. freeze well if my mr. freeze Kings didn't scare you away thanks so much for watching feel free to like comment subscribe let us know we liked see more from us here at easy-peasy down in the comments below have a great day and remember be good people

Channel: EzPz

Views: 531,417

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, r/cursedcomments, r/cursedcomments top posts, cursed comments, r/cursedcomments ezpz, reddit comments, blessed comments, emkay, ezpz, ez pz

Id: 1NaLad4WNRI

Length: 15min 10sec (910 seconds)

Published: Fri Jul 31 2020