r/Technicallythetruth · he got a point doe

a prehistoric celebration happy 20th anniversary to dinosaur streaming on disney plus dinosaurs are actually millions of years old idiot god how's it going everybody welcome back to easy peasy i'm cougar and today we're going to be diving into r slash technically the truth 404 not found yeah i guess you could say that you're just an [ __ ] aren't you no i've got arms and legs and everything someone out there is pissed at you for taking their username i couldn't believe mine was actually available how long have you been waiting for this moment since i joined reddit five years ago a tennis court on top of a dubai tower it takes a lot of balls to play tennis on that 40 love and someone's dying today i don't know why marvel hasn't tried to put advertisements on hulk he is essentially a giant banner get it bruce banner advertiser banner uh that's a dad joke would you take me to the beach um looks like you're already at the beach you dummy what gets you out of bed every day i don't know about you guys but my arms and legs usually get me up i personally prefer the fall on my face method myself biggest hollywood director clint eastwood 1.93 meters heck yeah clint eastwood living it up boneless well i mean you're not wrong but now i'm imagining what a what a skeletal system and like organ system of a donut would look like god that's nightmare fuel what's one of the first things you did when you turned 18 i took a breath john cena a nine-year-old created a portrait of john cena with 750 rubik's cubes well i can't see him so i suppose he did well done that kid the real reason we can't see john cena in this photo is he insulted john wick's puppy think about it this sentence is in all caps and also it almost gave me a stroke trying to read it if a bear has you stuck in a tree locate trunk hollow enter tree trunk saw out bottom of tree tiptoe away hmm this works extremely well in cartoons in real life you would just die i don't know let's let's test it out someone uh do it and then get back to me just be like oh yeah okay the night shouldn't be yours it should be a night but whatever man i do like the castle though that's funny as hell church is just book club that's been stuck on one book for centuries wow i guess i was in book club the whole time i was in sunday school freaking sweet i need to lose 15 to 20 pounds in 30 days send me tips legal and illegal clean veganism daily exercise plenty of water plenty of sleep and i can't stress this enough cocaine you know some pretty sweet smack-a-decker rocks would do it too i heard i have a common condition where i was born with five fingers on each hand holy crap i thought i was the only one dude i'm so glad that our slash teenagers on reddit as someone like me i'm a confident driver uh dude you almost just ran someone over confidently though i look in the mirror and tell myself i'm a great driver as i'm going off the road r suicide by words you have the death note whose name are you writing my own please end the suffering texting and driving deaths in 1492. zero oh oh that's fantastic he looks like a dick but he is a [ __ ] get it cause he's a little kitty and he's got a penis for her nose and man that cat must be loaded look at all the money in front of him someone made up dinosaur sounds without hearing them change my mind i never thought about that till now gay sex prevents abortion suck a [ __ ] for jesus hmm never thought of it that way dress code ah do you think she can program a computer too what is a gift that will last a lifetime dynamite depending on how you use it the smile on their face will really just explode when they see it the propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool when it stops you can actually watch the pilot start sweating that's great huh i guess that works hurts my brain but it works you know i'd be a lot thinner if i wasn't so fat hey me too liz mc heck i'd be a lot prettier if i didn't have two different colored eyes but you know what i'm not stating the obvious you are without saying the title how does your favorite movie end credits wow mine too what are the chances i can't believe we all have the same favorite movie uh there are some movies that actually end with an after credits scene like is the last thing you see so uh checking mate my dude goodbye dad any final words just two no politics here just firearms hell yeah hey oscar it's tony can you make a flyer for our new happy hour sure no prob send me the details four dollar keto one four dollar miller light 20 ounce four dollar lettuce wraps four dollar jim beam what time does it start monday through friday 3 to 6 p.m done and done buddy you're gonna love it it's gonna look like something apple made themselves okay in all seriousness this is a freaking awesome thing and an awesome idea and not just that it works as a double entendre if that i'm using that correctly because it's a notification about when happy hour starts i freaking love that dad jokes i went into a pet shop and asked for 12 bees the shopkeeper counted out 13 and handed them over you've given me too many the one is a freebie [Music] he's a freebie all right no more prison for him boys i made fried rice he a little confused but he got the spirit i actually kind of want to try these like do they taste good do they taste gross they might actually be really good 10 hours of nothing close your eyes for full screen oh i'm doing it i see nothing it is perfect there's this girl i like but i don't know what to do just ask her out man i don't have the guts hey man no one's really got the guts you just gotta go for it and also why does the uh why does the king down in the bottom left corner looks like he's smacking the one dude's booty like ah give it to him i like bony things hey can you draw me a green pig in a desert in a witch's hat oh that's such a cute little drawing and they did it for him mmm a ham sandwich wait wait why did it have to be green for it to be a ham sandwich being healthy is just the slowest possible way of dying that is true my friends that is true i'm not gonna be able to sleep tonight cowboy cow that's a freaking horse dude the four horsemen of chess everybody i had something stuck in my throat but like i was saying the four horsemen of chess are called knights now who wants to play how old are you fifteen what do you look like um um i look like a human a burglar breaks into my house he can't take anything because that's illegal homie breaking in is illegal too it makes no sense why are you booing me i'm right me on the outside hey how's it going everybody me on the inside with half my face skinned kill me please we should all strive to be more like jesus done boy it's a good thing she's not walking onto sani water bottles because that stuff tastes like garbage and is in water security question what was the last name of your first grade teacher my first grade teacher hacking by bank account i'm in why is this so freaking funny it's a joke we've all kicked a pregnant woman before that oh yeah oh and we've also i'm gonna make this worse we've peed on them punched them and as god knows what else to them the lion is the king of the jungle even though he lives in the savannah and has no idea what a monarchy is is there anything worse than a lego for stepping on in the middle of the night a landmine a landmine yeah that'll do it that'll do it what's it like to be at the oscars from your perspective i can see a lot of legs if only if only your performance and predator was as good as this joke little dude lgtbq is so gay and i love it sir the virus we flattened the curve really yeah we flattened the curve all right my living room corner wall floor wall hmm you're not wrong you're not wrong unless there is no floor log out failed you need to be logged in to log out please log in to log out you got it buddy italian men laying on the floor unconscious while the police stand there and do nothing it's they said a mask and gloves were enough for the grocery store they lied everyone else had clothes on yeah why can't i walk to a store with nothing but gloves and a mask on i want to let it hang free some say black lives matter some say all lies matter some says no lies matter but we all know that anything that occupies space and has mass is called matter mind blowing art i feel like there's something banksy would do if you went insane whose car is this where are you headed what do you do mine what really brings out the child in me a miscarriage get it all right excuse me what the frick oh yeah man you're gonna want to take a right on moon street the one that's pointing at the moon that own but only when it's pointing at the moon it opens another dimension good to go what is the difference between a 20 gaming mouse and 80 one like i was curious to know is there any important difference or is it all just a scam sixty dollars that's the difference no one literally no one zero two three four five six seven eight nine hey man this is the same education i got at my crappy school fun fact nothing starts with n and ends with g oh yeah it does that's funny i was about to think of a really bad thing okay never mind you're the nut that started our family tree happy father's day love you kids think this is really cute but otherwise um it's really dirty in a nutshell this is what a wasp nest looks like dude imagine opening a wall and be like this tastes like it stings the hell out of my mouth so if the big bang happened 13.8 billion years ago and matter cannot be created or destroyed and all of our bodies are made of matter that means that all of our bodies are 13.8 billion years old so in conclusion officer yes she was old enough no no no no no that's not how that works i'm trying to get into the guinness book of records as the oldest man in the world which is taking up a lot of my time my new personal best is 36 when i was born i was the worst person in the world that being the oldest man in the world i've gone up about three billion places ah the fact that he knew it was about three billion that impresses me dead i thought you'd like to know that i'm outstanding in my field he's not even got a smile on and that's the best part what to do if your parachute fails if your parachute fails don't panic you've got your whole life to fix it buddy pepsi tastes like soap what kind of freaking soap do you use pepsi i'm on a diet i used to eat six slices of pizza now i eat three ah i see you're thinking from the cougar book of uh dieting how often do planes crash just once just one sweetheart popcorn is a vegetable birthdays are fatal in large doses a pregnant woman swimming is a human submarine unicorns are hot rhinos don't you mean beautiful rhinos just rang up b and q and asked how big is the q he said same size as the b you can't say anything racist without being called a racist these days hmm smart you racist i rewrote history y'all history nah let me do it again ah much better history 2.0 it's quick it's easy and it's free pouring river water into your socks why would i do that lmao it's quick it's easy and it's free god bless america evacuation plan run duh no no no no no no no which bird does not lay eggs penguin nope a male bird scientist damn it damn it they got me y'all they got me is there anything you can't do see what's even worse is read the caption underneath 11 year old radio host inspires america with her vision oh they did her dirty twice if 666 is evil then 25.80697580112 is the root of all evil do you have a freaking calculator in your shower maybe i do maybe i don't people get confused when converting kgs to pounds it's simple take the weight you want to convert let's say 100 kg for example and you freaking google what it is in pounds no need to thank me see see this is this works nowadays but when i was 12 not that long ago but we didn't have smartphones that could do this we had dial up internet baby if you picked up the phone the internet stopped working so you couldn't google crap masturbation is single player sex oh dab on the haters i can't spell food on your shirt if you're not wearing one mmm true man there's some mesmerizing man boobs right there how far does a squirrel have to fall to die zero feet squirrels have been known to die without falling at all so the answer to your question is zero feet can i call you back i'm just watching a live stream oh so that's what the kids are talking about oh look [ __ ] those those do kind of look tasty i kind of want one what are you wearing i'm wearing a suit smile it's a swimming pool i want to make a dumb larry the cable guy joe glock you know your white trash if you have an above ground pool that swims at the public pool just playing table tennis oh god i'm gonna miss it's gonna crush me ah yes i would definitely go to four years of school to make 50k per year and get shot at why not teachers do it they do now i disappear on the count of three uno dos he disappeared without a trace oh oh i'm dumb but that's funny so many plot holes like where did the murder hornets go why introduce them if they aren't important to the story this season of earth is just not realistic it's just not man hey don't worry about the murder hornets it wasn't just a filler episode they're coming back in the season finale we're all gonna die i'm not able to break down in my booth or anything when you add direction to speed you just got vectored baby is that guy still on the moon in the movies because if so he's probably dead plants really be like i do not vibe with this dirt and die hey man some people be doing that with the earth too this guy's tinder bio tim 23 sam houston state university i lost my watch at a party once an hour later i saw some guy stepping on it while he was harassing some woman at the party infuriated i immediately went over punched him and broke his nose no one does that to a woman not on my watch if that that's that's great i love it if you like water then you're already like sixty percent of me hey hey i hope some people like sixty percent of me age is just a number actually age is just a word huh it has been scientifically proven that horse manure protects you from coronavirus take the fresh horse manure and rub your hands it has the following actions one it prevents you from bringing your hand to your nose eyes and mouth two people keep at least two meters away from you three no one will want to shake your hand four you will safely wash your hands well before going to lunch i swear it works redneck science y'all this is coming from someone that grew up on a horse farm it totally works shocking tales of redundancy only 10 cents the worm it's the worm i'm the worm [Music] condoms those are for freaking [ __ ] yes yes they are a zoom feature that makes things smaller oh they do they really do it said zoom it didn't say specify in or out worm of redundancy here if you don't like comment and subscribe i'll watch you while you sleep well man you heard the terrifying nightmare worm you better like comment subscribe or he's gonna get you like he got me

Channel: EzPz

Views: 398,835

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, r/technicallythetruth, r/technicallythetruth top posts, technically the truth, r/technicallythetruth best posts, r/technicalythetruth emkay, emkay, r/technicallythetruth ezpz, ezpz, ez pz

Id: HNKKEbR1wYU

Length: 16min 46sec (1006 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 08 2020