r/CursedComments · oh my...

how would the world be different if our butt cracks were horizontal instead of vertical when he went down a slided go why can I hear this how's it gonna ever want to welcome back to easy-peasy my name is Zach and today we're gonna be taking a look at our slash cursed comments mom sleep tight don't let the bedbugs bite me sleeps loose the bed bugs bed bugs I've come for your pickle this isn't what I meant when I looked up ben shapiro destroyed by BBC the actually the decade will end in 2021 starter pack what is that in the bottom right Pizza the Hutt how to break someone's neck my brother is not moving help what are you respected for if you're a woman but despised for if you're a man breastfeeding in public brave 10 banned weapons too brutal for war who the F are the 2.9 folks that disliked it probably the victims who failed to stop it man breaks into a Burger King and drinks gallons of deep frying oil we all make mistakes in the heat of passion Jimbo now with all that oil in your system your poop turns into food the deep frying process removes all bacteria making it safe to eat it's not always love when you feel a butterfly in your stomach I baked cookies in my car today yes they're tasty yes my car smells like fresh cookies yes it's very nice you know they are done when the kid stops crying oh when it's career day and your mom shows up with a webcam and laptop the girl on the backs life was forever changed on that day suddenly Sally realized she's not interested in little to me anymore did you know to make a sword out of the blood of your enemies you will have to kill 359 people to get enough iron from their blood to make a long sword or alternatively just keep your enemy alive and in a perpetual state of vegetative delirium fed and watered just right enough to remain this side of living systematically drain a safe amount of blood from the man / woman / person / demon / eldritch horror / lower divine being at regular intervals not only will they be begging for the sweet release of death by the end of it all they'll also have a nifty sword - made from a single enemy earth wins Miss Universe for the 67th time aliens above this common if it's a good meme download this comment if it's a crap - your meme I'm a Biden this action was performed automatically ok now that the mods are gone guys have not a bot I'm locked in a basement of being forced to comment on every post please send help to this address I hate him I hate her but they do it for me they both looking at her ass though damn I made that ass no I made a Roomba that shoots anything it bums him too Automation is going to take jobs away from cops best cast ever dude can snap low his bones were like Avengers disassembled stop give a heart to this cutest freak verbo now you can keep scrolling dump in 450 degree vegetable oil no cheetah after lunch when she's on her period no my masks finally came in now I can go in public and go shopping put one on your kid and you've got yourself a child predator I get it but I don't want to long ago the Four Nations lived together in harmony chair sure which water fire lightning phrases like crank up the window or hang up the phone don't make sense to kids these days what things are said now that won't make sense in 30 years plenty of fish in the sea oh that's sad that is very sad Netflix are you still watching somebody's daughter that's incredibly sexist that could be someone's son or someone's dad how I held my breath for 17 minutes my brother tried this and now he's been in there for two days I'm so proud of him where do you find a dog with no legs right where you left it in a Chinese kitchen blurs Shrek donkey there's only one way to stay in my swamp hey I just met you and this is crazy but give me the kid I won't eat the baby man accused of violating in his bosses coffee every day for four years ejaculate a Petrino elephants are the only mammals that cannot jump I pushed a fat kid out of his wheelchair for faking it after reading this well I'm pretty sure he wasn't faking it now what would you do in this situation keep flame throwing it's a birthday today I asked her what she wanted to eat and she said tacos so we flew to Mexico me hey babe what you want to eat her nothing me flights to Africa would you sleep with a fan to fulfil their fantasy asking for all of us actually yes in fact people can enter my freaky fan contest via my private snapchat but would you sign up to my freaky fan contest instead I forked a fan once blades chopped off half my dick I bought a joy con gun finally something useful for animal crossing women's pockets can fit less than half of a switch light whereas a men's pocket can fit a whole switch subscribe to my only fantasy how I can fit a gamecube sir this is a Wendy's Japan has created the ultimate gaming bed you never have to rejoin society again Canada jerking me off for two absolutely keep on doing out on my own found this helmet my attic it belonged to my grandpa apparently he was an electrician or something actually he was a gas worker I'm tired of waiting I want to be loved me too kid get a dog I'm not sure which of those two problems it'll solve but it's worth a shot I bought my girlfriend sunny switch for his birthday many said thanks simp I almost slapped the crap out of him right then and there but his dad was at the party slap him freak his dad make the mom watch when you google the lyrics of a song and realize you've been singing nonsense for six months I believe I can fly I believe I can touch this guy dream about him every night and day spread my load and fly away a bro yo girl cheating jasmine or Maria Maria Maria H or Maria a Maria see the one with or without the glasses with with or without braces without damn professionals have standards the one with or without while adult teeth oh no if attacked play dead it will be a good practice for when you die a couple minutes later this is only good for grizzly or brown bear attacks great I live near a polar bear and what the Frick am I supposed to do seduce it why do you think it's after me guys I cut my dingdong off what well just grow it back oh I worked Oh mail girl - mailman I see it doesn't have a case GP to fill need [ __ ] Glen that quickly oh thanks I love seeing someone draw Kirby in front of Kirby little discovery no that's a rule 34 artist Kobe beef in Kyoto Japan's best steakhouse rib Kobe you will always be the best in the most tasty the say goodbye to the roof of your mouth starter pack hold up I don't get the gun a guy named Kurt did slapping my face for 24 hours in one video I pause the video but could still hear the sound coming from my parents bedroom windows XP shut down sound piano tutorial Stephen Hawking's last words mobs are gone post illegal LEGO building techniques as a person who has a good mind for engineering as well as still plays with Legos this makes me want to commit a war crime just one after I commit the first one and will be impossible to commit another due to lack of population asked groomer to shave a heart on my dog's butt what I expected versus what I got click them together like Lego presidents shouldn't travel in bulletproof vehicles change mind not only did lho change his mind he sent a good chunk of it flying out the other side you and your child are driving late at night along a deserted road you come across a van full of money with the driver dead from an apparent heart attack what lesson do you teach your child lift with your legs not your back me and my brother when my mom screams yes to everything we asked for a while she's in the bedroom with the mailman mom can I get my turn with the mailman when you get Cobb debating your mom your dad your brother your stepsister how does your entire family catch you at once stop doing it at the dinner table when you get cornered by the school bully so you send one last text to your Minecraft girlfriend but his phone vibrates bully unzips pound me like you do in Minecraft my mom is violently degrading women me and my dad watching one without any women you watch porn with your dad pathetic I make one with my dad my late great grandmother kept a box of melted nails from her houses a memento from the Great Chicago Fire forbidden rice krispie treat you have your mother's eyes oh oh no never forget that spongebob and mr. Krabs thought they killed a man and tried to hide the body but what do you want me to do with the BAA bottles of soda bottles of soda an example that the best TV shows meant for children are the educational ones update my crushes parents found out she was conversing with possible predators on tick tock and they forced her to delete it we won mr. stark good thing you didn't get caught enjoying your meat murderer oh geez can't we just have one dinner day where she doesn't mention the time I shot her mom so I'm a murderer just because I'm meeting your mom I think you're overreacting right now music connects people we should hang out when that one kid in the nerf war keeps claiming you missed whenever you shoot him amateurs I always had shot those in my basement orangutan attempts to fish with spear after watching locals do not show him porn Florida man successfully receives penis transplant from horse upgrades people upgrades woody with three months without blinking because Andy has now left this house for quarantine what are you watching Andy play with this woody during quarantine look master speed bumps panic and those are children now this is podracing what I Oh game do people in 1920 play pull do hmm Cub fans have you ever hit that share on Facebook button why friend of mine for April Fool's shared stepmom to his stepmom with the text underneath this could be us his found hilarious oh it's all wholesome and then kovat nineteen positive still better than what my ex gave me my fish just had a baby so we're celebrating my mom celebrated the same way when she found out she was pregnant German cannibal who ate a man he met online has been allowed out of prison on day trips maybe he's tired of frizzen food not getting proper nutrition because humans feed me bread making a meme to raise awareness about feeding them bread feed them corn lettuce seeds frozen peas oats instead Ducks have a corkscrew penis thanks you you ruined the meme should a man hit a woman ignore yes share no equal rights equal fights when you've been in quarantine for far too long and now you crave action can't relate sorry to disappoint you but there are no kids at school at the moment I knew that's what this was gonna go I just knew it black or white we are all the same inside I can't believe this man just fixed racism both tastes the same my gay ass heart how and why are they showing this to kids they've always shown kissing in cartoons that's a man and a woman those are rats Italian grandmas try frozen pizza for the first time next Americans try healthy food ooh next African kids try food Oh No a gamer for president 2020 meanwhile in an alternate universe breaking news gamer president tweets Lowell get rekt noobs after nuking Iran somebody got a 25 kill streak not funny didn't laugh Americans listening to another school shooting joke told by European that's because they're aimed at a younger audience therapist anime Putin doesn't exist he can't hurt you anime Putin maybe one of my proudest faps my college was known for having a great Japanese Studies Program and one year they hired a very good anthropologist who specialized in Japanese culture to teach the department but she quit after a year because she found the weebs too infuriating to try and teach sensei how would you say Big Brother we can't I'm your little sister even if we wanted to right I have never wanted anything more in my life ridiculous inflatable Swan thing anything's a dildo if you're brave enough morgan employee pretends to be dead for april fools gets cremated how would they find out he faked it the sex was too warm freakin Dorothea exploder this is a true baby boomer people have forgotten the original original Battle Royale Judaism Bible man is watching you masturbate you can join if he wants when someone calls your penis small big in Japan way to roast all of Japan the Knicks did that years ago the blood benders from Avatar / Korra could theoretically control erections maybe you could blood been so much blood into the penis that it pops like a water balloon yes officer this comment right here doctor are you sexually active me my mom don't lie say no but I can't lie in from the person I did it with just a reminder school is the second equivalent of hell yeah but there are a lot less shootings in hell you know Jesus um I have a point here quarantine got you down neighborhood scream Friday at 5 p.m. who can scream the loudest you son of a [ __ ] I'm in don't ever hear the people in my basement together choose your separation method official Lego separator approximately 70% success rate keeps body parts intact works on multiple situations only works on small bricks may not be available in your country banned in England is considered a weapon long thumbnail approximately 50% success rate works in almost all situations most people have thumb only works if nails not clipped high risk of ruining pretty nails or all reliable approximately 99% success rate considered the best last resort option some people may not have teeth if done incorrectly teeth will be reduced to atoms weaponized a Lego separator yeah me mate Jessa was off on his own and some freaking Road man jumped up and shanked his stuff with one them things you get me bruv can't fall asleep um no not really what if it's because the sleep servers are full right now and when you fall asleep it's because someone else woke up from their sleep you got to use brute force to hack into the sleep servers by killing yourself unfortunately you will be stuck in their server forever silent takedown 100 X P 20 undetected 50 instant kill 5 % stealth skill me watching porn wondering why there is no sound siren head somewhere in a forest moans I don't need for him to make the siren dead moan blur swore I'd faked it so they can run over my body and then I could look up those skirts my ideas when I'm awake my ideas when I'm almost asleep my idea is when I'm taking a crap oh you take a crap all sleeping - nice winter coochie wet she leaves a snail trail freak man you made me laugh and now I feel bad what would you do in this situation what the hell am I supposed to do dive into his tender throat and squirm out of his massive monstrous gaping [ __ ] I want to raise stepmom in fairy tales stepmom in her life stepmom and porn wait what are you doing step asaurus New Jersey gay couple discovers they are in fact long-lost twins super smash bros warning labels speaketh the good truth never put your fingers where you wouldn't put your ding-dong interesting what if a girl passes by there's surgeries to fix that bought my son a trampoline for his birthday all he does is screw about wanting back in his wheelchair well toss him in the lake maybe he wants to swim remember if you ever feel bad this guy played grass in his school play he was killed but the teachers needed more time to hide the body before the play started so he just laid him there in a trash bag and everyone said he was grass can we take a moment to appreciate the fact that we grew up with this and not this I grew up with the porn version my a-year-old bought me some slime for the holidays and I'll have the heart to tell him it looks like fan oasiz left testicle now you can complete the collection what if we kissed and all my teeth fell out into your mouth mmm Tic Tacs 100 year old tortoise sex God retires after making 800 species saving babies if only I could fake a turtle I'd help a buddy out why do you ride a horse like that it's not a horse it's a unicorn epic Barbie's new real-life unicorn an amazing toy for all girls of all ages what would you do if she unplugged your router in the middle of your game and smiled like this I'll use the time to form a strong romantic relationship with her that'll eventually lead to marriage when we eventually grow old together and we find ourselves in the hospital on life support I'll bring up the time she had unplugged my router then I'll unplug her life support and smile like that this downgrade will never be forgotten the only thing to date about gun violence in America yes when feeding grapes to a child cut them in half lengthwise and widthwise but what do we do with the grapes biologists screws up mutant killer virus physicists screws up deadly black hole geologists screws up rock on table is now rock on floor artists screws up World War 2 it has been four years to the day since I had my scoliosis surgery the surgery itself took 14 hours surgeons drilled metal straightening bars into my spine these are x-rays taken before and after the surgery they tamed your bone snake teacher explaining something Indian guy on YouTube explaining the same thing a bullet would do the same so that's who killed JFK yeah yeah that's right a zebra right in front of me can I shoot it it's half black so a stun gun will do and well ladies and gentlemen that brings us to the end of our slash cursed comments and yeah this time around they sure weren't cursed thank you all so much for watching if you enjoyed what you saw and be sure to that subscribe button in the bow so you get notified artemisia PC uploads and until the next one I'll see you around

Channel: EzPz

Views: 5,404,207

Rating: 4.9303455 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, r/cursedcomments, r/cursedcomments top posts, cursed comments, r/cursedcomments ezpz, reddit comments, blessed comments, emkay, ezpz, ez pz

Id: WcJFvH2OdPw

Length: 15min 47sec (947 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 22 2020