r/Technicallythetruth · THEY HAVE NO TIRES

everyone who received the first smallpox vaccine in 1798 has died makes you think oh i don't know guys they have a point everyone who took it back in 1798 they're all dead what does that say about this vaccine oh how's it going everyone welcome back to easy peasy i'm your narrator david the baker and today we're going to be taking a look at r technically the truth as frustrating as these posts might be you got to admit they're kind of telling the truth well you know i'm sure you guys are ready for the video so without further ado let's go marlborough says every cigarette you smoke takes seven minutes off of your student loan debt oh i hate to admit it but they got a point i mean that stuff is never going away i'll be back in 10 minutes but if i'm not just read this message again i've been looking at this for five hours now how to speak a foreign language step one go to a foreign country step two speak your mother tongue hey there you go now you're the foreigner rise and my shine i have a very annoying neighbor can someone teach me the trumpet that's the best part you don't need to learn to play the trumpet to annoy them just try your best and have fun oh wow you're so right thank you ah this person's poor neighbors all they're gonna hear for the next month is wanted a man has been stealing wheels of police cars police are working tirelessly to catch him literally selfie with messi i mean you're not lying he's in the picture somewhere so wait with that logic i could take a picture of the sky and say i took a picture of an alien i mean because technically somewhere in space there's probably an alien ah that makes you think my sister calls it wrapping paper i get it cause there's lil wayne jay-z biggie eminem drake that's clever a christmas carol by charles dickens abridged christmas sucks you suck yay christmas yeah that's kind of how the story goes no one beatboxers why you little ah not the face single father tries to end world hunger with his rock collection hashtag explain a film plot badly no no this is a perfect description of infinity war i mean that's how he tries to save the universe when you run out of christmas wrapping paper happy jesus birthday yeah i mean hey you tried a good percentage of my friends are nazis that percentage is zero that's a good percentage of nazi friends to have i like the way this guy thinks my name is bond james bond i didn't ask for a middle name mr bond bond mr bonbon that's way cooler than james bond i mean come on let's be serious james bond is such a sharp and like stealthy name nah bonbon that's a cool name right there asked my dad for a macbook well played dad ah that's sneaky right there i don't even know if i'd be mad if i got a gift like that i mean it's just the right amount of clever for me to not be angry honey tell me what's wrong fire trucks are actually water trucks i mean you're not wrong but wouldn't it be more scary if they were actual fire trucks they'd be running around like a giant flamethrower i mean honestly an honest fire truck is probably way scarier than a literal one pope francis's instagram account caught liking another model's photo look at the positive side he isn't into little boys ah you see now that's a good way to think about it plus if the pope wants to like a picture of a thick girl on instagram let the pope do his thing he's sitting over that photo like god bless that booty ah words i never thought would come out of my mouth all right let's let's keep going this picture is very depressing get it because because i'm pressing on the d key it's it's a funny joke why aren't you laughing bible spoilers jesus dies ah come on bro i hadn't finished reading the book ah you completely spoiled it for me man jeez was there anything i ate that wasn't microwaved uh the the salad you cooking donut of course you don't microwave a salad jeez gordon calm down you asked the question he gave you an honest answer dude how do you manage to stay cool all the time because i don't get into arguments with stupid people i just cut it short and say you're right but that's completely irrational and wrong you're right i see what he did there take your age subtract two then add two that's your age oh wow genius magician right here he probably just blew the minds of everyone who read this post gosh what a mad lad you technically have two minutes to live but every time you breathe it restarts the clock wait what oh no he's right the aim of golf is to play as little golf as possible listen here you little dang but they're right though you have to have the lowest score to win so oh wow that's crazy i would rather sleep on your chest than a hundred pillows somebody sleeping on 100 pillows why would anyone want to sleep like this all languages travel at the speed of sound but sign language travels at the speed of light change my mind no no you have a point took me 10 minutes to find what's wrong with this picture ayo brah is on the moon but there's a moon in the background huh it took me 10 seconds to realize he's too fat to be an astronaut it took me 20 seconds to realize that there is no wind on the moon to ruffle the flag it took me 30 seconds to realize you can't see the moon from the moon pretty sure you can see the moon from the moon i mean yeah it's pretty easy just look down it's not that hard fun facts with squidward all of you have kicked a pregnant woman before oh no he's right we're all monsters hey look man that was back in the day we were young we didn't know what we were doing two dollars is not a tip five dollars is not a tip anything i give you outside of this mother freaking bill is the tip look you can say that you want to get tipped more but you can't say that what somebody gives you outside of the bill isn't a tip technically one penny is a tip if they tip you it heck a verbal compliment can be a tiff unfortunately you can't gate keep tips if you never did this you had no childhood literally if you think about it a highway to hell seems much easier in a faster way than a staircase to heaven i mean yeah on a highway you can just go straight you probably get a car you know you get there in no time but a staircase to heaven all those stairs that's a workout you might be 300 pounds when you start the staircase of heaven but when you finally get there you're gonna be a solid 150. elmo stared in disbelief at the parasite that had been inside his body for decades elmo doesn't like this i mean i would stare in disbelief too i mean that's horrifying four horsemen of news headlines world bank says poor need more money diana was still alive hours before she died federal agents raid gun shop they find weapons planes forced to land at airports ah yes next thing you know you're gonna see headlines like kids are skipping school during their summer vacation like when will it stop why is there a coyote on the bus because they can't drive come on don't ask stupid questions the coyote probably paid their fare you know they're on here fair and square so just let them ride i exist without my consent ah don't we all little frog don't we all 7am delhi airport long queues for liquor and not a single person at the bookstore what does this mean liquor can't be downloaded uh yes it can think about the liquor bottle as the data in your mouth is the usb stick oh wait no that just makes an alcoholic never mind did you know japan's flag is also a pie chart of how much japan is japan japan is japan japan is japan japan is japan describe how the transformer works so you have a car and then it transforms into optimus prime boom what do you mean i got an f here take this paper you can't live in an abandoned home ah oh wait a second you're right bank robbers djs preachers they all tell you to put your hands up bank robbers and dj say everybody on the floor bank robbers and preachers say give me your money and preachers and dj say are you with me ah this is a beautiful diagram right here ah yeah i love only fans they have the best products i need a large tanker of unsee juice oh boy here we go man who identifies as six year old dominates crossfit kid's class ayo he was born on the 29th of february i mean surely this is like an onion article right i've never heard of anybody identifying as a six-year-old but honestly i wish i could identify as a six-year-old life would be so much easier the irs would call me like david pay your bills i'd be like oh i'm sorry i'm still in sixth grade whoopsie was that kid voice good enough yeah this is my little kid's voice it used to be better when i was younger but yeah yeah that's how it goes i just saw two blind people fighting and i yelled he got a knife and they both started running i'm a good person i mean to be fair that's probably the best way to break up a fight being born increases your risk of death by 100 percent ah that's true being born is basically a death sentence what were we all thinking babe why would you do that your dog died i thought bringing you an identical one would cheer you up what the heck am i supposed to do with two dead dogs now hey man i was only trying to help 50 air 50 water technically the glass is completely full ah i mean it's true ah so it's not a matter of seeing the glass half empty or half full it's all the time full i like this logic tell me the truth i'm ready to hear it since people with one or more testicles exist anyone with two testicles technically has an above average number of balls thank you i i can't believe boss forgot my birthday i thought he was my friend you how did you get past my security you let your guard down no really he's pretty disappointed you should go check on him all right you know i'm not even going to try a marge simpson's voice kids could you lighten up a little that is not what i meant colorblindness also called color vision deficiency symptoms some people may experience color blindness wow so informative uh thanks google me explaining that a pregnant horse can run faster because it has two horsepower my physics teacher hmm go on molasses original so what do they do with the rest of the mole oh it's mole this is ah no those poor moles r ask women what's the quickest and easiest method of shaving your legs cut off both legs you'll never have to shave again ah now that's a thousand iq play right there oh what's the problem timmy when i said i wanted a nintendo switch this is not what i meant carbon dating you look older than your profile picture i've been under a lot of pressure i mean hey you're on a date with a diamond take it as it is did you know if you wear a sock inside out the entire universe is wearing your sock except you oh no oh that's too much power for one person to hold so there's definitely people with inside out socks right now which means that we're all wearing the same socks taking offline exam after attending online classes is like joining the army after playing pub g yeah it's not fair why do we have to do this like now i can't even use google when i take the exam how do you think i was getting through the classes it's totally not fair today would have been my birthday if i was born today well yeah you could say that about any day man i would have been exactly like the rock if i had only been born as the rock what a shame got polio me neither thanks science you see science isn't evil i don't know why you'd hang this up anywhere but yeah thanks science how would i describe my childhood probably with adjectives all the english teachers reading this like yeah that's what i'm talking about according to a japanese legend when you cannot sleep at night it is because you are awake that's so spooky these legends man they they're too real me i train this chicken to talk her oh let's see all right chicken what's a male deer how much is 200 pennies buck buck i mean sure it could only say one word but that's pretty good a prisoner who briefly died argues that he served his life sentence i mean honestly let the man free he already died i mean what more do you want from him what's blue and smells like red paint okay uh i don't know blue paint hey wait a sec wait yeah you got nothing to say i mean that's the truth any series movies related to cooking no master chef and no ratatouille oh easy breaking bad yep that'll definitely teach you how to cook maybe not food but yeah waterloo please the station well i'm a bit in light for the battle all right you have a point but maybe if you travel really fast you can make it before the battle ends right no okay say dad [ __ ] i mean the baby's got a point are you coming to my gender reveal party this afternoon yeah man we'll be there i'm a boy oh jerry no ding dong hanging out they're all like yeah dude we knew that and with that everyone that's the end of our video i hope you enjoyed this episode of r slash technically the truth if you did make sure to support the channel by leaving a like down below and don't forget to press the subscribe button and the notification bell to be notified of all our easy peasy uploads i'm your narrator david the baker and if you want to hear more from me my channel link is down in the description below i can't wait to see you guys in the next video so till then peace out and three thumbs up

Channel: EzPz

Views: 103,175

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, Technicallythetruth

Id: o8riOzsBQAA

Length: 12min 32sec (752 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 02 2021