r/Cursedcomments · same bro.... same

mom why are you laughing me kirby drives over the curb no how's it going everyone welcome back to easy peasy my name is zach and today we're going to be taking a look at our slash cursed comments i made some ores for blind players damn bro i'm sure they'll be glad to see this yeah took an allergy test i'm allergic to almost everything do not leave home do not pass go do not have a social life do not consume any food or drink just eat a big peanut butter sandwich and hope you roll better stats when you respawn boat lend no one in this world is satisfied there's also the potential for food for whoever is the strongest what's a fact that makes you uncomfortable we'll start your bones are wet there's a moment during the cremation process when the meat is perfectly cooked since hot dogs are basically just pureed meat stuffed inside an animal intestine a hot dog doesn't stop eating a hot dog even after we eat it we just become the new hot dog casings and that makes us in a way hot dogs as well yeah i could have gone on not knowing that fact but now i do know it thanks lady crochet's the ultimate costume for her kid i need to see a child predator next hi i'm chris hanson why don't you take a seat males have read it how would you feel if a girl gave you a flower i would just be glad they came to my funeral people who stay up late are more likely to die early finally some some good news today i learned that only 20 people have been boiled alive in yellowstone national park but with your help we can change that for just a small monthly donation you can help us sacrifice a tourist to old faithful every single day yellowstone die for us if you don't find a way to make money while you sleep you will work until you die streamer made thousand dollars filming himself asleep and letting viewers disturb him with loud noises this way you can also make money after you die just put a live stream in your tomb and let people see you decomposing genius stop sending me pilots for your star wars series idea i'm not that john favreau i feel your pain jeffrey r epstein i made my steering wheel full of cleansing energy now every time i drive i vibe up and my car gets a love charge as well i'm doing my entire car interior with crystals doctors will be having a tough time removing all that positive energy from your head after the car crash oh yeah i didn't think that went through why having big boobs sucks i'm a 30 h2 problem is i'm also a man best boy names paul stewart joe gilgamesh destroyer of the 7th dimension harbinger of death my friends just call me gill for short they're too busy dying at my insatiable thirst for human suffering that they can't speak any longer than one syllable why didn't george washington's father punish george after he chopped down the cherry tree because george was still holding the x question not my actions father else the next tree i chop down will be the family tree my cat's name is noodle i bought him this hat he is now chicken noodle wow eat him question how much did all this cost answer never forget the sacrifice of those brave americans who are ground up and made into hot dogs this is what exponential progress looks like 2001 ipods 1 000 songs in your pocket 20 20. 60 million songs on your wrist 12 trillion songs in your anus titan oh crossfit oh no when you pray to god to remove all the problems in your parents life and you wake up the next day in heaven took me a second to get it but i love it here take this up vote and award heaven needs more people like you is that a threat no homo but jesus looking pretty cute on the cross i know i'm cute he really nails it this is honestly one of my all-time favorite historical pictures because of the three dudes that are just losing it in the front so you're telling me those three dudes aren't in the middle of having their prostates milked harder than a cow during the great depression naked girl gets 500 likes in five minutes let's see how much a veteran can get have you ever tried posting naked veterans 20 f virgin medical science student be honest and brutal please 20 31 30 f virgin 2042 41f almost not a virgin 2053 52 never mind i'm still a virgin 2063 62 am i a virgin i don't know they said life looks us all 2064. dead prisoner or something i don't know i'm swedish proceeds to walk to the orphanage with an axe i'm getting kind of desperate for a home don't ever feel bad about yourself squirrels can't find 74 of the nuts they bury neither can i i have spent the last six months building these wings maybe help prove to my parents that they weren't a waste of money time for a test run working [ __ ] what kind of monster would use a cat as a pizza topping a german band dressed as mongols singing about russia this is poland's worst nightmare if a girl changes in front of you she's either really interested or you're level 99 friend-zoned or she hasn't seen you in the tree yet i can confirm that which one my three-year-old asked how long he had to wait until he could stop listening to me i told him he had to listen to me for the rest of his life he looked me dead in the eyes and said i'll listen to you for the rest of your life toddlers are cold-blooded man not if he dies first after two years of work my restaurant simulation game will launch today how long does it take for the player restaurant owner to accumulate crippling depth develop alcoholism and cheat on his wife with one of the waitresses this comment is insanely accurate to something that actually happened in my life apparently ethiopian baboons are starting to domesticate wolves which is giving scientists new insights about what it might have been like when early humans did that that's cool pretty cool not quite as cool as we thought screamed scientist says baboon's writing wolves come pouring out of the forest there was a boy in my seventh grade class that wasn't allowed to have coins because he'd eat them jingle jingle jingle him taking a dumb must have sounded like a slot machine paying out if santa keeps track of naughty kids every year and the year doesn't start until january 1st that leaves 6 days after christmas and new year's left undocumented so nothing you can do can be held against you the purge season's greetings how do you keep warm in a cold room you go to the corner because it's always 90 degrees europeans can confirm sitting in a 90 degree corner is most definitely comfortable it is also perfect for cooking your roommate i have a very specific fetish luke yeah we also i'm your daddy lady what do you like to do in your free time i like stalking people what okay i like listening to music i know science teacher our son will eventually turn into a red sun me and the comrades very accurate because at that point it starts the process of killing everyone sad russian drinks vodka cold russian drinks vodka injured russian drinks vodka put russian baby to sleep give him vodka vodka and russia i am healthcare drunk in russian drinks more vodka dead russian become vodka fun fact during earthquakes coffins become underground maracas thanks an extremely realistic mechanical rhino sand sculpture it's a ride on right on these nuts five-year-old me are babies created by kissing my parents it's an oversimplification of events but yes my son once asked how i put him in mommy's tummy i said that it was kind of like magic he asked if i used my magic wand i almost died laughing yes yes i did it's all fun and games till he asks to see the said magic wand to all the texas liberals i hope you're enjoying your taste of what it's like to live under socialism uh ceiling picking up chick-fil-a on my paramotor imagine if he chokes on his sandwich and his limp body just flies off into the sunset everything tastes better when you're high youtubers that want revenue instead of this kidnap they say this frick female dog crap pp surprise adoption robbery surprise communism before i met him after we started dating homeboy got colonized what the f i showed this to my epileptic friend now i don't have an epileptic friend men have read it would you take a male birth control pill why or why not yeah i don't want to be giving birth anytime soon right no way i'm pushing a baby out of my penis until i'm damn sure i want kids if i were a nun i would wear heelies and glide everywhere just to move people no don't do that hi hello there damn six feet and three inches you're tall those are two separate measurements didn't know humans could only be three inches tall with a six foot wick two breaking kylie jenner has just announced that she is donating her organs after death for people in need alright step one shoot myself in the stomach area step two get an organ transplant with her organs colon intestines stomach etc step three enjoy the rancid smell of kylie jenner's farts coming right out of my own oh man i don't like that ferb ended up with this baddie because he didn't talk be like ferb but she was 16 and he was about 10. today i learned men can be allergic to their own semen which can be remedied by desensitizing them to it via repeated injections of small diluted doses of it under the skin imagine a doctor telling you you've been prescribed injections hashtag call that a shot autobots i should have pulled out moms smoking doesn't affect my baby the kid a couple years later was she smoking a 128 pack of crayola crayons disappointment running into a wall with a boner and breaking your nose first but why does the wall have a boner fun fact did you know that the bigger the guy has the slower he walks according to this tick tock me usain bolt has no dick that explains why some people are scared of tortoises and snails why do men so fast gotta get home to the woman i love no three inches of snow is enough to texas then why is my girlfriend complaining because at least the snow lasts longer than two minutes that's cold if you feel useless today just remember that a guy used a lifeline for this equal to roughly 746 watts what animal-based unit is used to measure the rate at which work is done horsepower donkey strength llama thrust or zebra force holy cow llama thrust is what got me banned from the zoo thank you all so much for watching if you enjoyed what you saw be sure to hit that subscribe button and the bell so you get notified every time he's bc uploads and if you want to hear more from me my personal channel zackx fuller is linked in the description below thanks again for watching and until next time i'll see you around

Channel: EzPz

Views: 451,761

Rating: 4.9583793 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, Cursedcomments

Id: QBksTQlj8Wk

Length: 10min 4sec (604 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 31 2021