r/Holup · CAESAR NOOOO

my son has this app on his phone called grinder and i asked him about it and he said it was to memorize bible verses i love him so much my husband has it too praise jesus uh grinder yeah no no that checks out whoa hold up what's going on everyone welcome back to easy peasy my name is david the baker and i shall be your narrator today and yes today we're going to be taking a look on into r slash holup the best subreddit around for getting caught off guard i'm sure you're ready to dive on into the video so without further ado let's go why do boys die earlier than us no clue boys the man who trolls crocodiles hold up this video looks awesome wait dana i was just wondering would you like to go to the dance with me on friday oh i would love to yes uh buddy i don't think there's gonna be a dance on friday the meteor's like when you wish upon a storm okay this ain't my first rodeo a super villain definitely lives there and they are harnessing a power to take over the tri-state area it's clear as day this red ominous day the profile picture oh kanichiwa hello and the dude behind it hey how's it going so true so true hey we look good as mr and mrs incredible nah more like violet and dash because you're more like a brother to me oh oh no this man's down bad youtube says an iconic moment for a youtube icon congrats rick rick astley thank you you know uh you wouldn't get this from any other guy never gonna give you up never gonna let you down never gonna run okay do not too much women in the 1600s oh the church the witch must burn burn the witch burn the fire with the demons oh the demons [Laughter] okay you see this is pretty accurate to the real caesar salad you see this is the accuracy i appreciate classic caesar dressing although it could use a couple more knives in the early 1900s marshall fields department store hired professional scapegoats or fired men whose only job was to take the blame and be fired to appease disgruntled customers you have a karen like i demand they get fired immediately and the employee's just like okay i'm fired i'll see you next week we'd love to see it walmart is giving away free school supplies to anyone who can outrun security oh sweet snoop dogg even sits like he's about to walk oh cool i don't know what's funny or snoop's feet are not even seeing kevin hart's hey kevin hart is a mighty 5-4 alright a short king if you will when you find something you like so you get it in every color i knew a girl who liked babies and did something very similar oh well let's just stick to dogs yeah yeah being labeled a gifted kid versus what i turned out to be veterinarians treat exotic bird then they realize it's just a seagull covered in curry hey you might not be gifted but you know what you fooled the veterinarians yep if you've ever lived on a country road imagine the bounce back on that bat people try and knock down mailboxes with a bat and they end up breaking their wrist uh how painful the neighbor's kids challenged us for a water fight oh i'm in just waiting for the water to boil wait what hey carl hey carl hi what's up steve could you help me with that little thing again sure no problem see there it is that dot gets bigger and bigger every night it's my favorite huh it's uh it's actually coming in quite fast huh yo why we gotta pick on the dinosaurs like this this is heartbreaking wanted someone to climb this hole in the library for us job requirements you must be limber trusting and have not read the cast of a montillo by edgar allan poe yeah if you read that you're definitely not going to want to go in there proud peter is proud of his work he's certain that no one will find carlo anne this time wait this time chad says jeff bezos's net worth is 185.3 billion dollars there is 7.8 billion people on earth if he gave everyone on this planet 1 billion dollars he would still have 177.5 billion this is why we must hashtag tax the rich yeah you know maybe with the money we get from taxes we can raise funding for education uh specifically math oh no what don't worry nick it's all according to god's plan god number one create the universe number two give nick cancer yeah that's what you get nick okay kids dinner's ready where is mom where is mom oh god oh no shout out to the one guy using steam in north korea uh kim is that you driving instructor all right take a left speed runner um actually with a good sub pixel frame perfect jump i can hop the guard rail and save 10 seconds driving instructor that's illegal speedrunner the cop spawn rates are actually bugged on this street super rare to get pulled over oh man i am not getting in that car my wife's funeral okay kind of dressing down the dead space remake ah now this is what you gotta dress up for dead space uh thanks uh no i don't think you should thank them this guy's got some problems careful my husband is suspecting us suspecting what do i even know you i'm her husband you are now off my suspects list uh wtf i'm sorry my husband was using my phone luckily you haven't said anything what could i say i don't even know you ha ha this is still her husband i wanted to confirm yo this man is mad paranoid i wonder if his suspect's list is just a phone book and he's just texting random numbers like it's gotta be one of them now on to the cues my little girl just said to me mom is progress possible if your growth is stunted by perpetual tribalism and xenophobia wow literally at a loss for words she's a german shepherd i had no idea this was possible oh they grow up so fast wait she's a what now man this house ain't got enough outlets what if we kissed under the missile toaster no jk unless and i saw mommy kissing santa claus underneath the missile toasted last night governments use fake wasp nest to hide facial recognition cams whenever you see a wasp nest hit it with a stick to destroy the cam ah this is evil on a whole another level even so i can still imagine conspiracy theorists with like a big stick going like i'm not gonna let the government spy on me oh how tragic stop excluding the bee from lgbt i'm so freaking sick of it british people should be proud of who they are screw you millennials quit whining i paid off 150 000 in student loans and own a four hundred thousand dollar home because i save it's not that hard i make coffee at home i bus instead of uber i shop on sales i had parents pay off my loans and buy me a house because i'm daddy's special boy and i got hulu with ads you see it's the little sacrifices that count oh my cat got accepted to hogwarts i'm gonna miss him well you're certainly not gonna see that cat for a while yeah picked up a hitchhiker seemed like a nice guy after a few miles he asked me if i wasn't afraid that he might be a serial killer i told him that the odds of two serial killers being in the same car were extremely unlikely although that would make for a good show two serial killers one car who will survive find out next time on hitch high killers brought to you by fox because of course fox would fund the show my husband runs a sawmill and look at these he cut today anyone else see a dog i feel like i see more of a sad pig oh no you gotta turn on your monitor oh man that that hurt my feelings jeez i see a sad pig too oh wait sorry that's a mirror a girl walks into a supermarket she picks up a banana a can of soup and a loaf of bread then she walks up to the cash register to pay the cashier looks at her and the items she has and says i can tell you're single she smiles and responds how do you know that he says because you're ugly like ugh what are you doing in my store get out of here text message from the wife so my ex said he would get me an iphone if i sleep with him please tell me you didn't do it oh no i'm not a cheater oh good i love you baby um why are the text bubbles blue why are the text bubbles blue jeff bezos i don't like it when people say i look like an alien therapist well you did exploit earth's resources bezos so that i can build my spaceship therapist bezos licks eyeball fitness tip never stop pushing yourself some say eight hours of sleep is enough why stop there why not nine why not ten strive for greatness do 15 push-ups instead of 10 run 3 miles instead of 2. eat the whole cake instead of a slice burn your ex's house down i believe in you woman nearly decapitated after flying turtle smashes into her car windshield way to say is this just mario kart luigi how could you the ark of noah rebuilt in kentucky it has the same measurement with the biblical arc of noah the ark is 510 feet long and 100 million dollars was spent for the construction actually looks pretty cool hey oh my god is there something you're not telling us this guy just knows about an extinction level event he's just not telling anyone he's like yeah so you know i'm just going to spend this money on an arc you know no reason don't worry about it hey want to come over tomorrow okay i get off my period on tuesday though and loki kinda lame that you thought that's all i was trying to do la mal god you're right i'm sorry it's okay it's okay just give me some time to cool off okay okay i'll talk to you on tuesday hey wait a second what uh he was playing the long con all along what a genius my 17 year old brother school did a mock election and one of the kids ran as the communist party as a joke and the school made them stop because they were winning their mock election was so realistic the school even played the role of the cia now that's accuracy we love to see it here's a picture of my thermometer from the last time i was sick in case anyone needs an excuse to get out of work man i can't come in i'm sick uh did you mean to send the whole meme or just the picture ah dang it frick white people our ancestors did some horrible things not mine i'm german oh oh jacob oh no he proposed always remember the tiny details of your outfit before making an announcement via social media wait what are you talking about oh oh the the bracelet oh oh no this planet is a freaking reality show for aliens it has to be yo everybody's trying so hard to go back to normal that they're putting holes in their masks so that they can play an inch just oh this is dumb this is just dumb we just want to go back to normal so bad we're getting desperate guys can anyone tell me what this sign means oh that sign right there it's um uh um you know what no no i i can't explain what the sign means r slash teenagers man i just got rejected from art school all my life all i ever wanted to do was paint i feel like i failed as a person oh well my backup plan is politics let's see how this goes oh oh no history's repeating itself i just want to sit on his lap and feel him get hard leave the maul santas alone haven't they been through enough proud dad tweet taught my three-year-old about investing this morning he could either have half a gummy prior to nursery or he could leave it there and have two in the afternoon he chose the latter i'm so proud but then i ate both of them once he left because hashtag volatility hey now that's good parenting right there you gotta teach them the world's not easy nothing's guaranteed in this world i'm sorry kid sorry to disappoint you gotta teach them young even if they are just three years old having a smoke outside the pub last night and then some dude in a wheelchair said why do you smoke when you don't have to i looked at him and asked why the frick are you wearing shoes you don't have to wear shoes you're not even walking you can just wheel yourself without shoes but no how about you mind your own business man okay take all the birdseed just leave me alone i don't understand why women want to be equal when they could be better that shows a lack of ambition which is why men are better uh yes men strong women want equal can you believe women want equality like what are they some kind of weirdo when you buy your daughter an expensive camera set up because she wants to be a streamer but you can't find her anywhere on youtube oh no oh no my fat self thought this was fancy ham rose quartz wait no i thought that was gold-plated ham what do you mean that's not gold-plated ham of course it is i don't even blame the person who thought it was ham i'd be taking a bite into it too what's your favorite corn just wondering oh the one with your mom in it my mom died when i was three please share the link i would love to see her oh no if daniel is dan kenneth is kin samson is sam then what is your name in three letters cow man screw this game sr yeah i agree with this guy a pig can last anywhere between 11 and 40 minutes i wish i was a pig right now well you got the looks go for it champ hey is this r holed up or murdered by words geez when your friends are spreading rumors behind your back i was banned from the middle east which is crazy cause they're the ones who watch my videos the most men who are yelling at me are the same men who are clicking on me um who's this it's mia khalifa go educate yourself don't mind if i do lol wait what ah ill there are 27 bones in the human hand and 28 when i'm lonely aw you i'm not gonna draw chris screwing his mother what the frick is wrong with you chad you've drawn so much worse exactly why would i do something boring like that you had me in the first half i'm really not gonna lie r slash ask reddit your username predicts how you die iguanas with big ding dongs oh god please no user cybersex cleverbot where is that you start but i don't know what roleplaying is takes off shirt cleverbot takes out gun user slowly puts shirt back on cleverbot lets him yo cleverbot was not playing around it's like i don't want to roleplay oh geez dude you just got rejected by a robot that must feel bad and welcome back folks we're here with today's roster kiss malonde oh oh kiss my long d oh what is this great school what are we doing what are the pros and cons of having big boobs and what are the pros and cons of having small boobs i have big boobs myself and here are the pros and cons pros many people find big boobs attractive i always get stares in public because of them which i find very flattering they're fun to play with i make many women jealous because my boobs are bigger than theirs cons they hurt my back they get in the way i have to buy baggier t-shirts they're just annoying sometimes and i'm a dude yeah no that that would make for a big con and with that everyone that's going to conclude this episode of r slash hold up if you enjoyed this video make sure to leave a like down below and don't forget to press the subscribe button and to the notification bell to be notified of all of our easy peasy uploads i'm your host david the baker and i can't wait to see you in the next video so till then peace out and three thumbs up

Channel: EzPz

Views: 237,040

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, Holup

Id: rTCuVloxbaY

Length: 14min 58sec (898 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 15 2021