r/Madlads | ABSOLUTE CORRUPTION

hey when I go on a date no thanks hey we're go on a date oh crap it's a master of the mystic arts does not get rejected that easily what's up guys and welcome back to MA my name is Damian and today we're looking through our slash mad lands I mean look at this I know I'm kidding a freaking melting oh thank god I almost unmatched already i watch myself somehow if it was true wanna trade nudes for some cute dog dicks over getting the dog picks no I want the dog picks oh wait fair enough I didn't think this through but now you've made a commitment and you must honor that talk about gran shoutout to C sub OD for a 16th birthday and can I just say for this I could have just showed of minds it's called Hooters you go for the breasts not the booties my my dear friend when you get yourself silver to make people think you're mean was good enough yes the trickster he could be any of us Google please stop showing me sex ads I know there's desperate [ __ ] in my area I have a mirror nah whoever gave my nephew would catch up back at the night your mom's a ho amen get for the fries maybe would it do the fries ladies and gentlemen my mom is to Beaver Halloween she was a little nervous but I think she nailed it oh I want to do your mom call yourself your favorite March and a go for a bow e Booey no no what if we used 100% of our brain create a Netflix account on the 29th of January so you can get the free month trial which was supposed to end on 29th of February but the thing is the 29th of February only comes once in four years so boom you get free Netflix for four years when I asked my daughter which costume she wanted for Halloween she chose this it seems the other kids aren't happy she's just vibing though shut up to everybody that can't read and write y'all could have worked harder in school but whatever hope y'all do it well amen movie xox lead a random fact in 1928 the visionary Russian poet of Vladimir may have Gorsky visited that is for the first time you know they poem about the promiscuous timing hand they're ending with my dog like a mythical tale page being passed from mouth to mouth thanks new Cape hey yo I'm gonna be paying for people's food then taking it cuz it's mine see ya loser China man faces execution after rubbing his penis on Mao Zedong's corpse only one who thinks it's weird to have a dead body out in the open like that you're about to have some weirdos coming up a rub their dongs on the corpse that's just what that's just how it be sometimes not saying it's right I'm saying it's gonna happen photos are not allowed thank you how did you get that picture how did you get that picture filling a pinata with animal guts for my nephew's birthday let me look this video up I want to watch this oh it's real it's real hey look it's the police and it's Halloween so there's just enough as pigs yeah is it illegal to throw aborted fetus of people I didn't actually throw fetus at people but when my GF went to the abortion claim to have an abortion there were Christians up the front and being really nasty and menacing saying she's going to hell and then she was a murderer and that they'd stop people like her one day but a week later I blended a raw chicken up and put it in a blast bag then went inside this clinic early in the morning and when it just opened I came out and threw the chicken at the Christians and said if you love fetus so much why don't you kiss this one can I get prosecuted for this nah just goofing around my dad went to Vegas for five days and put a camera in the house but that ain't stopping me God I'm putting these up around my school tomorrow oh you're awful you're a mean you're just mean that's just mean-spirited didn't plug right into the wall I'm not gonna kill myself because if my depression wants me dead that badly this guy just started shutting my freakin organs down like a real disease instead of being a freakin coward and hiding in my brain and trying to get me to do its dirty work for it you hear that our /rant in a relationship calm down I'm just practicing for when it really happens there's nothing wrong a little bit of practice get warmed up I like that anybody okay a photo shopping just need a render doing some rap ideas Cheers oh I got you one wrapped car you're welcome thanks dude dude on but to recrawl my friends good I've got a Bluetooth speaker in my pocket and I memorized all the lyrics to cue to go to to look you know am I the only one who like on ironically loves that song oh yeah I know it's a big mean but I utter ironically enjoy listening to it it's a catchy tune it's a bomb I'm not kidding right now a guy behind me just dumped his girlfriend and she asked well what do we do now and he confidently just said well I'm gonna go play Super Smash Bros and he left now she's my girl and we're gonna go play Super Smash Bros playing roblox you roblox stupid no are you eight yeah eight inches deep in your mom I watched vine my wife told me I couldn't go fishing but I did out anyway and I put it on YouTube for all my fans to see cuz I'm Richard Jane the fishing machine you can't tell me what to do blah blah all right whoever tryna look at my search history is no iPhone for it again I eat oil paintings and security guards aren't looking Julianne diabla you know what Julie Julie was a seventeenth-century bisexual French opera singer who once took vows to enter a convent just as chicken has sex with another nun and then set it on fire when she kissed a woman at a ball she was challenged to a duel by three men and beat them all she was a skilled duelist and killed or injured several men and fights thanks Julie with that history hustle my family has a technology business and when my mom started to learn to make apps to support the product she made a test app first the whole app was just one search bar that you could type any word and it would do nothing unless you searched the loser and then will pop up with a picture of me from middle school with a bad sunburn and braces thanks mom you're welcome son my sister and I had an argument and she chopped the bristles off of my toothbrush why cuz that's the deadliest thing anyone can do to you hey look we got a couple of things here some body once told me oh yeah the world is gonna roll me oh I ain't the sharp stewing the [ __ ] look at you guys one tree from anonymous I hope this tree falls on my axe we'll do it just for you my husband kissed me often think he's gonna sit in the living room and watch TV in peace so I downloaded the LG remote app and kept turning the TV off in the bedroom she came here and acted like I was asleep so now he thinks we have ghosts yeah I would do that though not maliciously just like for fun for a prank farewell I'll miss you all fractured rib man born baby said it took me good morning a little too hard today he is so grounded when he's born you can't spell any odd number without knee Wow truly disturbing haha who no no no he spilled one without me when I bought I go around putting these stickers on paper towel dispensers voice activated say loudly paper towel now and you get a paper towel twenty million people already failed no not November week excuse me I watched but I didn't nut it's a whole new level of strummed I use Twitter for Android I gotta be strong hey look it's permanent what's funny is that this actually happened I'm unfamiliar with this story please elaborate okay finish soldier gets separated from the rest of his unit but he's the only one carrying the emergency and feta means for the unit takes too many and goes on a one-man rampage for like two weeks straight giving the opposing Soviet soldiers nightmares for decades oh and he did it all on skis did he survive yes during his method up to the three-week rampage he got injured by a landmine travel 400 kilometers on skis and only ate pine buds and a Serbian J that he caught which he ate wrong when he made it back to finish lines he was taken to a hospital where was found his heart was nearly 200 beats per minute and his way to drop to ninety four point seven pounds his name was almost quit Vernon if you want to look him up look at this guy he's a madman hey look it's girth I hope your socks are with the next time you wear them what the hell girth this mean it's just not nice of you I've never been more proud of my country teen Olympian overslept lost coat said Frick on TV in one us is first gold to 2018 I overslept that sums up the work ethic of that generation how many gold medals do you and your cat have go ahead some cat mittens Deborah why you hatin on this teen Olympian yeah are you an Olympian Deborah shut your mouth came home early from visiting a buddy so I could surprise my girlfriend I was the one that got the surprise that her dude asleep in my bed I come we walked up to the side of the bed gently woke her up and asked if she wanted pancakes she must not have realized what was going on and said hey baby sure I said what about him does he like pancakes we look on our faces worth every second of the crap the look on her face is worth every second of the crap storm that kicked up after that damn I'm sorry that he was on that she was unfilled T that sucks I've had that happen that's not a fun thing but at least you got to handle it in a fun way I couldn't do that nice work man there is a random loose dog at my 8 a.m. I could not make this up I paid tuition just like everyone else I'm not a random dog forever stuck between wanting to look fit wanting to fit five whole pizzas in my mouth Hey oh my god poke you means taken now sorry gamer boys thank you for watching our slash mad lands if you liked the video leave a like down below and subscribe for more content from MK if you want to catch more of me you can find me at twitch.tv slash Damian lean live and as always I'll be seeing you [Music]

Channel: EmKay

Views: 865,562

Rating: 4.9515595 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes, r/madlads, r/madlads top posts, r/madlads best posts, madlads, madlads emkay, emkay madlads, r/madlads emkay, reddit pranks, pranks, prank compilation, reddit pranks gone wrong, pranks gone wrong, funny pranks

Id: 5HObWwF8s0c

Length: 10min 2sec (602 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 07 2020