r/AteTheOnion | The finest news

children agreed not to get abducted after a p.m. so amber of lore doesn't wake anyone up it's not like they plan on getting adopted they've done them home listen at the updated it surprise adoption here is a disclaimer if you have any questions or concerns about the content of this video please refer back to this disclaimer thank you with that being said our slash 8 the onion do cute for words this little boys like George Lucas a fan letter so so George Lucas took a shower and the boys what is it with the showering and random people's houses NASA frantically announces mission to earth scar after accidentally launching rocket upside down how do you accidentally launched a rocket upside down Wow when this woman couldn't afford her insulin her hotel chip Denver mineral [Laughter] but why not just buy the insulin the coffins probably utilized expensive than insulin I don't know if this is a a or not but it's articles like this that that are creating so many problems giving false ideology he is clearly catching her let's let's take a look at the gem she's talking about I say jhinterl bring an immigrant over Mexican border to prevent birth on US soil the world is finally beginning to see the importance of therapeutic grade essential oils for instance if the patient has a collapsed lung conventional operation wisdom would be to operate citta Hasbro rapid demoing the game in a video on YouTube but this is just propaganda from Big Pharma all that collapsed lung needs is a little of what though is that frankincense and cavity Sam is good to go new version of operation just has players whose essential oils instead of performing a medical procedure dripping wet seven-year-old gets on hotel elevator why in the hell is this article about who cares why is this important and why did you waste your time and hours putting this on Twitter [Music] john bolton an attack on two Saudi oil tankers is an attack on all Americans since when was a Saudi oil tanker American or an attack on America what a bunch of worship it's because their oil tankers obviously the saga continues JK Rowling has revealed that Harry Potter currently suffered for fiery blood in his herbs available for only $49.99 under hellings personal website what I get a creative well as dry but isn't having more money than the Queen good enough cheer people anyways has to shill for Edie's supplements patreon whole liberal hypocrites why are Dems criticizing Roy Moore when pedo pres Barack Obama is still married to former D [Laughter] teenager Michelle Obama typical Libya's sick of their show you've got to be kidding me angry face angry face this better not be true it's the British landmark always will be and should remain as Big Ben Big Ben be renamed a massive Muhammed from 2018 scientists trace heat waved a massive star at centre of solar system it's the king Sonya's stupid fake news media mother because this is not new Jesus God read a book liberals will never cease to amaze me historians discover Thomas Jefferson may have secretly fathered multiple other countries Jerry except Thomas Jefferson is not considered the father of its country that would be George Washington she's except you are the one who is incorrect Jerry we have the founding fathers plural not just Washington man kills girlfriend in her sleep because her eyebrows give him nightmares I mean why did he just break up because they followed him through his dreams obviously clickhole anyone who thinks homosexuality is unnatural clearly hasn't watched my clearly hasn't watched my neighbors really go at it likely the stupidest thing I've ever stumbled upon on the Twitter's and horrible official flat earthing globe discussion The Onion reported in the firmament a little while back but they refused to use the word they used the PC term end of the universe the onion calm Voyager probe badly damaged after smashing into the end of the universe using a satirical news site as evidence this has got to be a troll I'm more and more convinced everyday that this page is just trolling your cognitive dissonance blinds you to the self-evident truth I don't think you understand what cognitive dissonance means the onion is a satirical site end of discussion yeah well given the number of laugh responses it would certainly appear that you are the one Craig who lacks understanding of what is going on but you are more than free to think what you will about it yeah Craig the number of laugh emojis are clearly the determining factor of who wins an argument Boeing CEO admits company made mistake by including automatic self-destruct function on all 737 backs blades self-destruct are you kidding me on passenger planes what the hell is bad for I am dismayed by this news how do you trust the plane that has a self-destruct button what if the pilot loses it what if it gets pushed by accident this is horrendous news in brazen act of aggression Iran deploys its country right next to our aircraft carrier so we took a big ship all the way to the other side of the world is sit right in front of their shores and have the boss call it aggression when they come out with their ships to monitor the situation haha look at it this way if they took a ship into the same thing we did and parked it in the Gulf of Mexico we would do exactly what they did and surround that ship so always aggressive us or them obviously them they're the ones who put their country next to our ship god great Punk parents blame childs terrible taste in music on Becks for real free delayed changes color of she chose to avoid association with Trump cheese is naturally yellow orange green cheese indicates fuzzy moldy cheese won't be eating anytime soon I will go with the store-brand Cheetos they lost my business while these businesses they are so childish color looks nasty if you're triggered by a color then you need to resolve that's deep inside yourself liberalism is becoming a mental disorder I love these things but I will never buy another one as long as they are green love my president go Trump 2020 let's say I keep politics out of the comments here because we're all civilized individuals are we not I say gammad seconds probably held World War two documentaries suffused with anti-nazi undertones good and then oh god we got one of these kind of people 89 billion reasons to question the Holocaust since 1952 Germans have paid out some 89 billion in reparation to the Jews I can uh I can give you uh about six million reasons why the Holocaust did happen buddy four hundred and fifty pound man didn't go to the doctor for a lecture usually really love your stuff but this is super fat phobic and perpetuates myths about fat bodies and health fat people often have their health conditions go undiagnosed because doctors focus on weight loss above all else you you just tweeted this to the onion driver kind of bummed it's the other car he had been driving behind for awhile to exit off highway this is stupid there is no full story and this isn't even newsworthy but it is very relatable over 50 people have reportedly contracted herpes after drinking Instagram starbella Delphine's bathwater what the hell thank you for watching don't forget to do the subscribing in the notifying and all that stuff anyways whatever skipping to the important stuff here let me know if you guys want to see minecraft or Skyrim for the first video on the gaming channel kind of in a weird spot here so just let me know in the comments alright well I do read them most the time I do my best anyways thanks for watching I'll see you all next time

Channel: Oz Media

Views: 1,152,678

Rating: 4.9481311 out of 5

Keywords: Onion, atetheonion, r/AteTheOnion, ate the onion, onion news, reddit reddit posts, top reddit, reddit cringe, reddit top posts, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, top posts of all time, reddit compilation, onion news network, the onion

Id: mCW-pPE5K2c

Length: 11min 9sec (669 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 20 2019