r/AmITheA**hole I Reported My Girlfriend to the Cops!

welcome to our /m hi the butthole where Opie sues his girlfriend am I the butthole for telling my wife that were both pregnant I know this sounds bad but hear me out I'm using a throwaway cuz my wife uses reddit so reddit don't upload this I just want honest feedback and side note this post has 28,000 up posts I'm a 27 year old male and my 29 year old wife and I do well financially so we decided to have our fourth child every single pregnancy we've been through my wife has been a complete nightmare some things I can deal with like waking up to the sound of her puking her guts out every morning but when she starts demanding I go to the store every day to get her snacks or set up her foot bath thingy because her feet are swollen I get a little impatient I work way longer hours than her in a much more physically demanding profession oh man I'm sorry I can already tell why everyone uploaded this because this guy's a butthole okay anyways I'm a plumber she's an engineer so I think we're putting an equal amount of effort into this baby and it's not like I don't help around the house either she does all the cooking and dishes but I do laundry take out garbage and mow the lawn we pay someone to do the floors and bathrooms weekly my mother-in-law comes over to help with the kids because she says I'm useless I've been meaning to make a just no mother-in-law post about her and while I appreciate the help I'm sick of our garbage just because I want one hour of video games to myself a day instead of cleaning up messes in the kitchen doesn't mean I'm useless this all came to a head yesterday when my wife screamed at me from the kitchen to get off my butt and entertain our twin so she could focus on her meatloaf it's like a jerk I made a dumb joke about how this is the third meatloaf we'll be eating this week and she lost her cool she told me how I have no sympathy for the fact that she's pregnant I should be taking on more of her chores since I can't breastfeed but then I reminded her that I still work a lot more hours than her so I think we're basically both pregnant she got really quiet and has only spoken to me regarding the kids since I don't think I'm wrong but I'll apologize to her if it makes her happy am I the butthole here yes Opie yes you're the butthole are you honestly comparing her waking up in the middle of the night to puke to you being woken up by her puking these two things are not equal hers is much much worse and you're complaining that she wanted you to do a chore while you were playing video games and she was doing a chore sorry buddy you get no sympathy from me so what if you don't get one hour of alone time let's not forget that your wife gets zero hours of alone time because she's literally growing a human inside of her Opie you're absolutely clueless and I feel sorry for your wife you get four out of five buttholes your wife gets zero out of five buttholes and PS if you're tired of meatloaf why don't you cook something different am I the Buttle for telling my mom to not have any more kids I a 16 year old female live with my parents and 11 siblings I'm the fourth kid and the ages range from 20 to one we live in a four-bedroom house but it's so cramped with everyone in bunks and no privacy my parents also put most of the responsibility of the younger kids on us while they lay down and watch TV true they can have their breaks but they have them so often that I don't really get to be a teenager last night after my mom told me to put my two three-year-old siblings to bed I told her to do it herself as I need to study she said that it's my responsibility as an older child I lost my temper and told her that she can't take care of her twelve kids as it is and that she should give up her dream of 15 children because she's depriving the younger ones of a better life am i the butthole no Opie you are not the butthole basically the only way that your mom's dream is even remotely viable as if she forces all the older kids into free slave labor it was your parents choice to have this many kids not yours so it's not your responsibility to take care of them honestly your parents seem incredibly selfish they both get four out of five buttholes am I the butthole for suing my girlfriend actually she had my 1967 Impala project taken to the scrapyard I'll try to keep this short I had a 19 seven Impala four-door that I bought in February 2000 nineteen a couple of months ago I bought my first house that had a two and a half car garage I moved the car in and started tearing it down for a complete restoration I had the body in one bay in the chassis in another plus the whole garage filled with parts about two months ago my girlfriend came to live with me during this whole crisis and the whole time she's hated that car she wants to park in the garage but I have two acres of land with a lot of nice places to park under shady trees or hell even in the barn if it has to be inside I tell her tough luck it's my house and it's not like I can just throw it back together real quick anyways I was out of town for a couple of days on a business trip for a small local company I work for when I got back my girlfriend was all smiles making me food all the time doing all the chores all that I thought maybe she was just happy to have me home but then I realized that I didn't see her car in its usual spot I asked her where she parked so I could make sure I mow that area and keep it clean and she said not to worry because she parked in the garage I asked her how and she told me to go check it out turns out that while I was gone she hired some people to come over and move everything related to that car including the drivetrain body and chassis and all parts and take it to the local dump and scrapyard I was absolutely dumbfounded I'd spent over $11,000 on that car including new parts services and the car itself I told her that I was going to be taking her to court for that and she brushed me off like I was being dramatic I told her that it's done between us and to pack her things and leave I admit I was really angry but I did end up getting a lawyer and as I have all the receipts for all that money spent and I have her on my house's security cam footage letting the guys in and watching them take it all I think I can win her family and friends are absolutely blowing me up saying it's just a stupid old piece of junk and that she can't pay back all that money I spent and that I should just let it go but I've been putting all my time effort and money into that car for a year and a half now and God dang it if I'm not gonna get justice for what she did am I the butthole hmm I think there's a term for this Grand Theft Auto my god Opie what even persuaded you to make this post this is one of the most clear-cut examples of not being the butthole I have ever seen on the subreddit she stole a five-figure car that was parked on your property and expects to just get away with it scot-free no I don't think so I'm glad that at least you have the good sense to kick her to the curb I'm not the type of guy to pick a car over a girl but what she did was incredibly disrespectful and also we have an update from Opie I went to the police station last night and was told to come back in the morning I just got back and filed an official report against her for grand larceny and grand theft auto I showed them all the receipts I had for the car and the footage of her letting the guys come and take it as well as the title for the vehicle in my name they said they'll be in contact with all three parties me my ex-girlfriend and the junkyard guys and they'll hopefully be able to recover some or all of the car I just have to wait now huge update they found my car the junkyard guys apparently were in the middle of hiding it when the police came to ask them questions it was on a forklift and they were gonna put it on top of a pile of cars that was hidden behind more piles of cars they said it was theirs and they had the title but obviously didn't have the title for it and since they matched have been on the chassis and body to the been on my title it was obviously mine I know at least one person there has been arrested I think he was in the camera footage I talked about earlier but I don't know if it was the boss or whomever or even his specific charge they also told me they would be looking into this specific junkyard for any other vehicles reported stolen they said they haven't been able to get in contact with my ex just yet but they're working on it I am just so glad they found my car am i the butthole for telling my daughter to speak French to leave my house my grandparents escaped France at the start of World War two they lived in hiding during the war and after the war they started life over in America so my French ancestry is very important to me I speak French and my four children speak French I'm a single dad two of my children are still teens and living with me and my oldest two daughters are staying with me right now until the whole situation ends my oldest daughter brought her boyfriend with her my children and I all speak French to each other inside the house ever since she brought her boyfriend home my oldest daughter will not speak French I'll ask her a question in France and she'll answer in English I asked her why and she says she doesn't want to alienate her boyfriend because everyone would be speaking French except him I told her that she can speak French or leave now my daughter won't talk to me in any language and my other children think I was too harsh am I the butthole oui oui Oh pee buku butthole Oh pee a guest comes into your house and you refuse to utter a single word to them and on top of that when your daughter challenges you you threaten to kick her out in the middle of the coronavirus quarantine come on Hopi in what universe are you not the butthole here am i the butthole for putting my dog's wee-wee pads on the bathroom floor because my boyfriend has bad aim and keeps missing the toilets my boyfriend's 30 years old and I'm a 28 year old female and we've been together for about a year and when our City implemented lockdown for the virus he decided to quarantine with me at my department as I live alone and have a nicer apartment and he has several roommates mostly it's been going well and thankfully we both still have jobs except in their first few weeks I started noticing that the bathroom floor was suddenly always wet around the toilets the sink is across the room from the toilets so it's unlikely to be from the sink at first I thought it might be water and soon realized that it was definitely pee I asked my boyfriend about it nicely and he apologized and said sometimes he has bad aim I asked him to try a little harder and he said sure the floor continued to be frequently spattered with pee and a few weeks later I confronted him about it again because I think it's pretty gross to step in peace several times a week and it seems like an easy thing to fix if he misses the toilet I think the very least he could do is make sure to wipe it up with toilet paper or a Clorox wipe the cleaning supplies even live in a cabinet directly over the toilet he said sure sorry he would try to remember to do that another week has passed and while maybe he's doing this sometimes I've continued to step in splatters of his pee and wipe it off the floor and clean the floor several times a week I thought about asking him to do P into the bathtub or something instead but I don't understand how you can pee on the floor by accident so often and not notice and not clean it up last night I got up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night and absolutely stepped in P for the billionth time I just had it and didn't want to pick a fight or ask him again since it seems clear he can't or won't change so I got one of my dogs we we passed him when he was a puppy he's well trained now and cut it up a bit and taped it down to make a sort of skirt or mat around the floor near the toilet to at least absorb the pee my my boyfriend saw this morning and is furious with me saying that I'm calling him a dog comparing him to an animal etc honestly I wasn't thinking that at all I was just trying to be resourceful and solve the problem for myself since I don't like pee on my bathroom floor and don't like stepping in it I didn't feel like arguing about it anymore and putting a material specifically meant to absorb pee around the area he keeps peeing on by accident seemed like a practical solution am I the butthole so o P urine luck as a guy I have a lifetime of experience in peeing while standing up and I can say definitively that your boyfriend is definitely the butthole in the situation there's literally no excuse for missing the toilet that much I mean is he doing the Harlem shake while he pees or something I can count the times I've stepped in pee on one hand because either I don't miss or if you do then you just clean it up like a normal human adult so Oh P you get zero out of five buttholes and your boyfriend gets three out of five buttholes seriously grow up am I the butthole for praising my son differently than my daughter I at fifty two-year-old male and the father of three kids a 15 year old girl a seven-year-old girl and a seven-year-old boy the last two are twins and are very close having the tendency to copy each other I love and adore them all equally my son is not a very masculine kid and is less interested in some of my hobbies because of this he's always preferred whatever his mother and older sister did like baking or dancing I have no problem with this I love him as he is but to be honest I'm slightly disappointed that we haven't had the kind of amazing father-son bonding that I got with my grandpa when I was a kid my dad died when I was pretty young since I'm at home almost all the time now I've been seeing just how feminine his interests have gotten asking to help cook every meal helping his older sister alter second-hand clothes and playing pretend he even asked to have his sister paint as nails I'm not upset or bothered by it but it isn't typical for young boys I've been working out at home instead of at the gym because of the current circumstances and when my son came in while I was lifting weights in the family room he showed an interest in it he was excited about the idea of having big muscles and tried out some of the 5-pound ones even though he mentioned being like Shira it was still progress in my eyes and it seemed like he was showing interest in masculine hobbies I praised him and did the whole wow you're so strong thing in kid talk to encourage him when his sister's walked in the twin joined in like I said they have the tendency to want to do what the other is doing so she expected the same kind of wow so strong stuff when I wasn't as enthusiastic with her and focused on my son my oldest got annoyed and asked why I was treating them differently I explained to her that because he hadn't taken interest in these kinds of masculine hobbies before I wanted to foster his own identity as a voice separate from his twin sister she accused me of being misogynistic for this she then said that I was the butthole for making his sister feel weaker and implying that I didn't approve of his feminine interests I don't think I'm the butthole because there's no reason for my daughter to be inclined towards this kind of thing but my son should be developing a more masculine personality as he gets older when she told my wife 41 she also blew up at me saying I was acting like a cartoon misogynist both of them are pissed so reddit am I the butthole yeah Opie I'd say you're the butthole here based on your post it really does seem like you love your kids but you're a little misguided on gender roles here there's nothing wrong with the guy being interested in traditionally feminine things or a girl being interested in something that's traditionally masculine and most importantly it's very clear that you aren't supporting your kids to be their true selves you're trying to push them to become the people that you want them to be and not the people that they want to be so I'd say it kind of feels like your hearts in the right but your methodology is way off so I'll give you two out of five buttholes and then everyone will be happy to hear that Opie posted an update hey everyone I was 100% the butthole I appreciate that some people tried to empathize and say not the butthole to be charitable but I am in the wrong here and I knew it deep down while I was writing this post rereading it I feel ridiculous for writing that all out I want to say thank you because these comments were the objective kick in the butt I really needed I realize now that I was really out of line for saying that stuff and making my daughters feel that way I setup a stupid false dichotomy and my daughter was very right I was being a misogynist no excuse for that I apologize to both of them and my wife an hour after I posted that was our slash in my the butthole and this is our slash puppy bloopers you go that is the noisiest toy that is the noisiest toy thank you for me to play with you oh my god dog you go come on I'm recording bumper Bobby you want me to chase you but I'm not gonna come here puppy puppy are you proud you proud you got your noisy toy you go come here come here Oh God

Channel: rSlash

Views: 590,466

Rating: 4.8446245 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, prorevenge, r/prorevenge, prorevenge posts, prorevenge funny, prorevenge fails, pro revenge, funny pro revenge, amitheasshole, r/amitheasshole, amithebutthole, r/amithebutthole, aita, r/aita

Id: 5lI1LZyPI_Q

Length: 16min 58sec (1018 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 06 2020