r/A-holetax I Tricked My Terrible Boss into Giving Me $35,000

welcome to our slash butthole tax where an employee gets thirty four thousand dollars from his crummy bosses I work at a famous chicken chain that is known for our politeness at my store we offer free meals to police officers in uniform who eat in the restaurant my coworker greeted a customer and asked for his order he promptly showed what a but he was by berating her for having to wait in line for all of two minutes he did it so loudly that three officers eating lunch heard him he used very foul language and took four minutes to do so before placing his order strike one for him he then showed his douchiness by camping out in a booth and making a mess that I only expect from large families with multiple small children this included throwing his trash on the floor in plain view of the officers strike two he then went to his car and started throwing what seemed like an ocean of old fast food wrappers and cigarette butts out of his car into the parking lot this was strike three for him as this was littering all three officers went out and made him clean up his mess and wrote him a ticket where I live littering carries a $500 fine and if he contested it the judge could tack on up to 60 hours of community service so this guy ended up paying five hundred and eight dollars for his lunch I'm imagining those three cops were I'm that douchebag the way three hungry wolves I a limping bunny rabbits just waiting for him to mess up our next reddit post is from Praja nater I went on a cruise with the wife and kids last year on the way back because the airport we flew out of his 40 miles from the cruise ship we got an uber the driver had less than 10 rides under his belt the driver called me so we could find each other cruise ship pickup is a zoo I noticed he was driving a different car than the one listed on his profile but I know he was my driver same name and picture and phone in hindsight this should have raised a red flag but I was just glad to get out of there the ride was fine we all chatted on the ride about plans for the day it was a normal experience and we made our flight as expected the fare was 80 bucks and I tipped the guy 35 I things were good when we landed later that day I had a surprise waiting for me I was fined $80.00 the total cost for my ride was a hundred and ninety five dollars now the driver claimed that my kid had urinated in the backseat pictures of a big wet spot included I carried my son five years old at the time he's been potty trained for three and a half years on my shoulders at the airport and I know that he was dry we don't give the kids any drinks in the car so I was confident we didn't make the mess I tried to dispute the charge for cleanup as I know we were all dry when we got out and spilled nothing uber responded that they had to believe the drivers and were closing my dispute this is when I started looking through all the menus on the uber app trying to figure out a way to appeal this mess and I found that you could report a problem with a ride one of the issues you can report is the driver using a different car I reported it not expecting much it just felt like I was pushing buttons next day they refunded the cost of the ride $80 plus 35 tip because of the different car I never had any more issues from them on this too long and didn't read Buber driver lied about the mess charged me an extra 80 bucks I reported that he drove a different car than Hoover listed as a result instead of paying a hundred and fifteen bucks for the ride like I was totally happy with doing I only paid the $80 cleanup fee our next reddit post is from a McCune wah I own some rural undeveloped acreage that we plan to build on someday in the meantime we would camp or drive out and spend the day target shooting the property is well posted with no trespassing and no hunting signs the main access is gated with an eight-foot metal gate there are berms ditches jersey barriers and logs at any point along the ten-mile stretch of road along where anyone would even consider accessing the property the neighboring properties have all done the same so basically there's no easy access on a thirty mile length even with all that people still cut the logs move the barriers and fill in the ditches to access the property on their quads and dirt bikes last weekend a couple of friends and I decided to go out there and do some short-range target shooting maybe 25 we're maybe two miles in the woods and suddenly a guy in his 8 to 10 year old son come up behind us on dirt bikes and the dude goes off yelling at us about shooting and endangering his young child remember we're shooting short-range targets we've set up against a hillside so no errant bullets whizzing around and it's my property that is posted I tried to explain he's actually trespassing when he says woman shut up and let the men handle this my friend says it's her property you need to talk to her so once again I tried to explain to him he's trespassing he tells me to eff off and says he's calling the sheriff because we're shooting and we need to stop what we're doing and follow him out to the road to me the sheriff because the property is gated no kidding butthole I gated it I said we wouldn't leave but go ahead and call so he walked away and called while he did that I also called until the Sheriff's Department the gate was unlocked and they could drive in or if they wanted call me when they got close they said it would be about an hour and they would come to the site now we had probably a dozen rounds already loaded in three handguns so we figured WTF told the dad we were going to target shoot and of course he flipped his lid and called the sheriff again we fired them and then made sure all the guns were on the table open so the sheriff could see they were empty and sat there talking amongst ourselves while butthole stood with his son sheriff shows up and the guy explains how he and his son ride there all the time describes how he cuts some logs and used a small Kubota to make the entrance so they could get in shows what direction he came from when he wrote up and discovered those dangerous shooters the officer just lets him talk and writes it all down then he comes over to us and I show him my ID and my phone where I've pulled up the tax records to show I am the owner and this fine gentleman does not have my permission to be on the property the officer goes back over to the man to get some more information for his report asks if those are the dirt bikes they were writing the guy proudly says yes then the officer asked where the helmets are guy says he doesn't need them on private property the officer asked if the bike registrations are current again the guy says they don't need to be on private property so the officer asks who owns the property and that's when the guy realizes things are not going his way so far his butthole tax cost him a ticket for no helmet and a double amount ticket for the kid not wearing one two tickets for unregistered bikes two trespassing charges a vandalism charge for the work he bragged about to access the property and he had to push both bikes to twelve miles out to the road then walk another three miles to his truck plus whatever the cost is to repair the damage he did making the access and damages for the trail system he created if he hadn't been a butthole I would have just told him he couldn't ride there and blocked his access as for our illegal shooting this year I've complimented me on my grouping which was nice a lull what kind of idiot trespasses in America let's remember and then cusses at people holding loaded firearms this guy is actually a full-blown idiot when I worked at high V a guy product the biggest dang zucchini I'd ever seen I rang it up as a cucumber for 88 cents each are you an effing idiot that's a zucchini you effing [ __ ] I apologize and switch it to a zucchini which are by the pound coming out to seven dollars and 42 cents and in case you're wondering this guy's stupidity cost him an eight hundred and fifty percent markup our next reddit post is from not a reasonable person a little introduction I'm a web developer with CS and marketing degrees and I was a CEO of a medium large company for a good period in the early 2010's these days with money not a problem and my previous experience I pick and choose my clients and provide strategic planning growth advice and sometimes even lead web debt projects in early September I was introduced by an acquaintance to a promising little software-as-a-service company / startup I did some research and was impressed with their work and product their problem was that for the past one and a half years they've been stuck same products same growth same employees everything was stagnant and the when he was running out of time with her investors and tension was coming through between the founders it was still profitable but it has plateaued and everyone was cranky and a bit tense I thought it didn't offer good pay but they seemed like decent people plus it's a good opportunity to meet some innovative people and maybe who knows I invested in myself we first met November where I introduce myself and jump straight in I didn't waste any effing time at all I ran a one-hour presentation I prepared with all my own research about what I think is wrong and needed to change I pointed out flaws in the structure of their website the structure of the organization problems with marketing flaws and SEO hell even security flaws they were so impressed they basically told me just tell us the number this would seem like a perfect outcome of the introduction but since I've been in this exact situation before and dealt with people like that before unofficial tell us the number Messiah died people on alarm rang in my brain I took the initiative and asked for a three month trial period only I also told them I will not be doing any type of work answering any calls related to work or offering any advice before we document our agreement with a legally binding contract I don't think they like that after a couple of weeks of trying to act like the contract thing didn't exist second alarm bell they finally provided a minimal contract after I explicitly asked what happened regarding the contract it was obviously written on the same day by one of the founders a third alarm bell but hey it says what I wanted to say so whatever I signed the contract and we got to work I go full in and I mean that I really liked their project I laid out a 3-month plan with each month clearly laid out in detail and I explained that unless month one was done we cannot move on to month two and three because each month's plan depends on the previous for example they didn't even happen their CRM a way to track the effectiveness of sales employees our marketing campaigns even their goddang google campaigns didn't have conversion tracking so how in the hell can we start a webinar marketing campaign if you don't know how much income it made after this fend you know you can't just skip month one you probably expect what happened now I deliver the plan tell them I'm available for questions and help and go back home about 600 miles away I show up a month later we agreed to meet physically once a month and literally just the most basic stuff was done they hadn't sent many emails and I asked three to four times during this month about how work was progressing and I was assured it's going swimmingly fast when I see that having wasted an entire day of driving I go ballistic I tell them in no uncertain terms that they need to get their stuff together if they want everyone here to still have a job in four to five months when the investor finally gets bored with their incompetence and goes home now since this obviously means our three-month plan will not be finished in three months I told them out of good faith and not to be a burden on the same system I'm trying to make more efficient that I will not be requiring any payment for December even though I'm still available with all my resources for their use even visit them if required this also means that the three-month trial will be evaluated in February instead of January this time having learned what type of people I'm dealing with I asked for permission to be directly responsible for implementation of the changes this means direct authority over devs and designers permission granted we start good work for about two weeks before devs suddenly start replying on whatsapp I call the founders and they literally tell me listen some of the stuff you ask it's just a waste of time for our devs we do things because of your CV but we're not sure it needs to be done at this point I started to zoom out and think if this is really worth it they're clearly not going anywhere with this type of mentality actually I wondered how the hell they survived this far I told them as for the contract I managed to get them to burp out that I will not be continuing my work so pretty please pay me for November only eight thousand bucks and let's be done with it founder one stop showing read receipts on whatsapp after this message founder two was called several times and finally responded On January 22nd telling me that their accountant didn't pay quarterly taxes so their account is frozen and payment can only be made after he disappeared after but what he didn't know was founder number three head already told me that since one of their employees had a car accident that isn't covered by insurance the company had to chip in forty thousand dollars to bail him out and so it's difficult at the moment he said your payment will be in your bank by February first one hundred percent founder three has since also disappeared it was obviously all BS and they had no intention of paying even one of the good devs called me and told me they're bluffing and they look at my messages on their whatsapp in their office show it to each other and start laughing at me for asking to be paid since I've obviously done nothing anyway since I was assured that the payment would be paid by the 1st of February and the calls recorded I stopped contacting because it was obvious that I'm going to sue and win this is quite a predictable post isn't it you know what happens on February 1st and 2nd and 3rd nothing nothing happened so you guessed it I sued what I didn't expect myself is that my lawyer is quite the redditor he told me are you stupid or what you daft prick he happens to be my friend as well what I asked why on earth are you suing for $8,000 only don't you want to make them pay the butt hole tax sure thing buddy so we sued for $8,000 for November $8,000 for December four thousand six hundred and forty five dollars for the partial part of January late fees legal costs compensation fees and hurt feelings don't know how to translate this one but trust me it's a real law the suckers called me within 15 minutes of delivering the letter after not replying for a month they begged me to accept eight thousand dollars and told me it was just a money problem at the company I asked him to speak to my lawyer only since I don't want to say anything stupid he takes no flack from anyone and told them to just get a lawyer and see you in small claims court they continued their douchebaggery by not actually showing up to court judge ordered them to pay thirty four thousand one hundred and forty five dollars which I now have half my account and the other half in a golden cheque I don't know how it's called in the USA but this never bounces as long as you cash in on the specified time what's most satisfying is that since the last time we spoke on January 22nd I haven't heard a single thing from them not a whisper so not only did I get my money I didn't have to see or deal with these buttholes again dude you got paid three months salary for only doing one month's work you got to give me the name of your lawyer that was our slash butthole tax and if you liked this video then let me know by hitting that like button because it really helps my channel grow on YouTube

Channel: rSlash

Views: 514,495

Rating: 4.9501925 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, asshole tax, r/assholetax, butthole tax, r/buttholetax

Id: kEw8kvFtQ-U

Length: 16min 6sec (966 seconds)

Published: Tue Mar 03 2020