r/Relationships My Husband Cheated On Me... WITH HIS COUSIN!

welcome to our slash relationship advice where opie finds out that her husband has been having an affair with his cousin my husband's cousin was recently killed in a car accident three weeks ago this has made my husband visibly depressed and a lot less like himself lately tonight when i got home from work he had her two kids go spend the night at his mother's place and had made us dinner after dinner he sat me down and told me that i needed to prepare myself for what he was going to say he then proceeded to tell me about his affair to sum things up he essentially had been doing adult things with his cousins since she seduced him when she was 13 and he was 16. these activities went on through their adulthood until he started to date me after we got married things didn't happen between him or his cousin until around 4 years into our marriage when she supposedly convinced him to continue their adult activities on the side we've been married for a little over 15 years for context this has continued up until three weeks ago as you can imagine he told me to take it as i will and he'll accept anything i choose to do considering our marriage his cousin was apparently a lot more than just some fling i never would have expected my husband to be cheating he never did anything that would give red flags like coming in late or leaving hair of another woman around i'm at a standstill and not sure where to go from here i haven't been able to say anything to him after he was so blunt about it i'm still crying some now i don't know where to go from here any suggestions are welcome this post is just an ocean of red flags but what i can't get over is how your husband phrases his relationship with his cousin seduced by a 13 year old and then he was so faithful after four years but it was her who convinced him to start it up again oh your poor poor husband he's just the victim here if you ask me your husband is a lying cheating piece of garbage and you need to dump this guy yesterday and then op posted an update i want to first say that i appreciate all the support i've received after posting my first post i thought a lot about the suggestions i've been given and decided to go forward on some i talked to my mother about the situation and she agreed to take in my children until the situation is dealt with i've also approached my husband about divorce and put my demands about wanting full custody of our children as well as the house and other things he hasn't put up a fight regarding any of those and has agreed to it it's been really hard to swallow all of this and i'm looking for a lawyer to help with the divorce my mother has also suggested to keep the real reason of our divorce away from our children as long as possible especially my eldest daughter who's 14. this will be my second and last post on this matter i again want to express that i really appreciate all the helpful comments and suggestions thank you all for the support i'm a 35 year old male and i caught my 35 year old girlfriend driving drunk with her kids and it seems like it's just a tip of the iceberg i'm a 35 year old male who moved from denver to san diego to be with my girlfriend she's a mother of two with split custody i sold my home moved my company etc sure she was a big reason but i also knew that it would be an adventure no matter what happened i could go on for a while about how the adjustment phase has sucked but her kids a four-year-old boy and a seven-year-old girl unfortunately are not held accountable for their actions peeing on the floor jumping into our bed during passionate hugging telling adults no my girlfriend says their kids it's so hard to be consistent in showing them what's right or wrong she really is saying that their willingness to be defiant vastly outweighs her willingness to be persistent with their development growth but that's neither here nor there i could bring up a lot of issues but most of them are issues i firmly believe can be fixed with time and love however the other day she did something that made me literally sick to my stomach she took her children to a friend's parents house who has a nice pool of course those friends show up plus a few others i had to work but i could see via the instagram story that they were drinking i don't think much of it until she's home at about six hammered i'm not talking tipsy are drunk i mean full-on blackout pointing at random stuff can't hold herself up drunk and then it occurs to me that she drove the kids home and i lost it she fabricated a story that a friend actually drove her car home and then walked back home which was obviously bs the next day she came clean after i told her mother and best friend she obviously feels horrible but doesn't seem to be that remorseful she has an existing dui on her record and we've already encountered tensions over her drinking and volume and in the mornings she admits drinking is a problem for her but yet she tries to push past it and talk about me being strict with the kids or other things all i can think is that she doesn't really care about what she did so she told me at the end of the discussion she thinks i should get my own place while we continue to work on the relationship on the pretense that it will alleviate the attention from the kids acting the way they do all i can think is are you seriously stepping over the fact that you drive drunk to make me calling your kids out for not peeing the bigger issue the bottom line i love her to death i think she needs someone by her side right now i sold my home moved my company left friends and pets back home and this is what i'm being welcomed with i'm lost i don't know if i should pack my stuff up and leave or buck up and be the person that she and her children need right now down in the comments i'm gonna read this post from sheddin need out i am a recovering alcoholic who absolutely loves children but i have no children because i could never imagine putting them through a childhood like this you shouldn't consider staying by her side right now unless she makes the commitment to stay sober otherwise it's classic enabling the only time i'm in favor of ultimatums is when it comes to addiction but you can't force an alcoholic to stop she has to decide that i know it sucks that you made a huge life change based on your feelings for her but she'll end up wasting years of your life if you continue to let yourself be sucked in and if she won't change leave but tell the kid's father first he needs to be aware i have an 11 year old senior german shepherd he was hit by a car in 2018 and we went through a very difficult recovery process he had seizures urine issues constant fear of anything going fast near him like i couldn't throw a ball anymore we had another puppy but our senior was so stressed we had to re-home her you would have sworn he was displaying abused behavior but he was just scared he moved past all of that and i'm so proud of him the vet prescribes a nyamid for his seizures and so far he's been recovering well we were discussing ways to improve his mobility it's like a walking cane but for dogs and it has sensory objects on the end to prevent it from bumping into furniture we tested it in the office and his mood improved instantly but at the same time i couldn't afford more treatment for him so i opted to come back i met my boyfriend earlier this year while walking my dog he's known since day one that my dog requires special treatment and i would absolutely provide it everything went well and he wasn't controlling or abusive everything just clicked but it's my fault because i was too comfortable we were talking about finances and i told him about my debt and the money i was saving up for my dog after paying off the debt from his previous treatments i didn't want to open another card so i started saving cash in a little fireproof chest my boyfriend stole that money yesterday i went to his place and i noticed he has a new computer set up i was asking him where he got the money from and we fought and he said your dog's half dead anyway you need to let it go he's not even close to dying he's a little older but he's nowhere near dying age we go to the vet regularly and everything checks out as well as it can be given the circumstances no one's ever mentioned death we've only been looking at the future and improvements i'm so upset what do i do we're both students so i don't want to call the police and ruin his future but that was for my baby to get what he needed so he could walk around my home comfortably so it's okay for him to ruin the future of your dog but you don't want to ruin his future man f this guy he literally came into your house stole your money and bought himself a computer this guy is a five out of five douchebags you need to call the cops op my two-year-old daughter is fighting cancer my wife leaves her unsupervised to see another man i don't even know why i'm asking for advice i'm in tears writing this and i know what i have to do but i'm hoping someone thinks i should stay in march my daughter was diagnosed with a very rare and aggressive form of brain cancer to say that this has destroyed mine and my wife's world would be an understatement we also have an eleven-year-old son who is not biologically mine but i'm his only dad we were both at the hospital and there was an alarm that her blood sugar was dropping she's a type 1 diabetic i picked up her phone and there was a conversation with a man asking for another picture i let it go but it was eating me up a couple of hours later when my wife was sleeping he messages again this time i respond and he said he's sorry it got weird but he thought that him and my wife were exposed i wake her up and have a huge fight in the hospital the next day we're discharged about five minutes later we get a call from the radiologist and there's blood in my daughter's brain since i drive and my wife doesn't and we need someone to stay with our son i go up to the hospital at 11 pm we're watching curious george on the tablet when the facebook message pops up it's him responding to my wife's message of my husband isn't home come over she claims she's an addict and just buying pills we've had this problem before where i told her i hate that she takes these meds but as long as you don't lie i'll help you well all she's doing is lying i've caught her in over 20 significant lies i'm scared that if i leave i'll lose my 11 year old son op i hate that i have to say this but your marriage is already over you drive to the hospital to comfort your sick and dying 2 year old daughter and your wife's first thought is oh finally now i can bring over my boyfriend slash drug dealer to bang op please leave this woman i've had a step brother for about six months my mom is married to his dad so a few weeks ago during a morning i noticed my stuff in my room had moved i told my biological big brother who's 23 and he didn't take me seriously but taught me how to record my room at nights with my phone i've been recording myself every night and nothing happened so i was ready to believe that nothing had happened that night this weekend however my stepbrother came into my room at about 3 15 am he came to me with scissors cut a small piece of my hair and left my room it was so weird and shocking it was a very small amount something i likely wouldn't have noticed i sent the video to my biological brother and sister my sister's 19. they told me to pack my bags immediately and picked me up and took me with them they sent the video to our parents my parents questioned my stepbrother and says he doesn't remember doing it at all and said he was likely sleepwalking and asked to see a doctor i don't believe him and neither do my siblings my parents want to solve this problem by taking both of us to family therapy they want me to come home and discuss this all four of us they say i'm not in any real danger as he didn't hurt me or do anything inappropriate or sexual my siblings strongly disagree and say that what he did was very inappropriate and they're not going to let me go back there as long as my stepbrother still lives there my parents say that they'll install a lock on my door so that i can lock myself in at nights my stepfather is upset at my siblings and claims that they turn this into a much larger issue than it is he says they could have just parented the problem away by punishing and it's not a big deal honestly i keep hearing everyone with strong opinions about this and i don't know who's right or wrong what should i do do i go back do i just never go back my best friend says that i should just go to the police and press charges against my stepbrother i like this comment from what i guess if they're so confident about how non-threatening it is tell them to tell all their friends and family and see what kind of reaction they get susie q has a really really good answer but it's kind of long and kind of dry so if you're not into a long detailed explanation about how to protect yourself then you can stop the video here but if you want to know how to protect yourself as a teenager then this is really good advice family law attorney here but this is not legal advice you need to consult an attorney in your jurisdiction and state google child welfare attorney in your city have your sibling go with you just get the lay of the land because you aren't 18 yet you actually can contract with an attorney in most circumstances take the video and whatever other documentation you have if there are other things that seem odd about your step bro bring it up during the consultation make a single individual therapy session with a counselor who specializes in sexual issues trauma response or something similar this is not necessarily for you you want a counselor who can id some of the hallmark issues in your stepbrother don't sleep at that house don't go to family counseling counseling with an abuser or perpetrator is just another opportunity for you to be victimized when you talk with the attorney and the counselor for you not family spare no details if it's something you don't know don't speculate just the facts both the attorney and the counselor are likely mandatory reporters if something needs to be reported to child protective services one or both will do so but calling the police isn't something you need to do unless you want to and if so go for it but consulting a lawyer and a counselor are very natural things for you to do right now and this action will deflect any blame from you of cps is called frankly if the kid is 16 or 17 in doing this he's done it before and is likely a victim himself child protective services probably does need to be called fyi if you call cps yourself the identity of the caller is always confidential regarding hiring an attorney don't look for free consults don't be scared of a consultation fee free consultants are worth what you pay for them don't rely on google either lawyers pay for clicks so keep that in mind look for someone who's board certified in child welfare or family law call one of them up any lawyer will talk to you for 15 minutes for free and ask for who you refer to child welfare cases when on the phone this is your elevator pitch i'm 16 living in a blended family with my mom step dad and step brother i think my stepbrother has assaulted me but my mom is wanting me to go to family counseling with my stepbrother can you give me some names of child welfare attorneys that i can speak to to learn more about my rights here also i completely forgot about victims advocacy groups they can help you immensely as well so yeah this response may not be super entertaining to listen to but i felt obligated to include it because there's some really good advice out here and maybe it can be just the advice that one of my listeners needs right now that was our slash relationship advice and if you like this content then check out my podcast where i publish the exact same episodes also be sure to subscribe to my channel because i put out new reddit episodes every single day

Channel: undefined

Views: 374,617

Rating: 4.9439006 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, comedy, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, relationshipadvice, relationship_advice, relationship advice, r/relationship_advice, relationship_advice posts, relationship, r/relationships

Id: 9poWl64NDqM

Length: 16min 0sec (960 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 07 2020