Juiciest Work Place Stories on r/AskReddit (1 Hour Reddit Compilation)

who is the most hated person in your workplace and why don't name names in case this comes back to me but he's a level 3 engineer who does absolutely nothing all day he'll book a conference room and sit in the dark for hours he'll sit at his desk and do actually nothing except exist but his team which he did not assemble and which he does not actually let is good enough to make him look good so he keeps getting more responsibility by work in a small chiropractic clinic three chiropractors four receptionists two per shift one of the receptionist's literally does nothing but check patients in we are supposed to work on billing and other tasks to do with insurance she always leaves her Facebook logged in into the communal computer so I like a bunch of dank meme Facebook pages for her the woman who would use money from our pool tip jar to fix her pricing mistakes literally stealing money from her co-workers to cover her butt we all hated her my boss's wife has been given a position of authority over my department despite having no experience or expertise in the area but the worst part is she is an older lady and by all accounts seems to be suffering from dementia Alzheimer's every single email you send her or email change she's included on she will respond without having any understanding of what was written to her so then you have to spend the time explaining the whole content of the chain or email to her we have to attend meetings with her where she will spend a lot of time rambling about things that have nothing to do with our work we have to remind her or a explain things we talked about at the last meeting that are relevant because she doesn't remember or understand then the whole thing happens all over again and the next interaction with her like it's Groundhog Day for her we have this goober of a guy who works probably one full day a week I actually get surprised if I don't have an email in my inbox in the morning of him saying he won't be in worst of all though he sits nearest to the bathroom and makes comments like wow you were in there a long time must have been a number too when people come out George the joiner minimal number of fingers bad personal hygiene unintelligibly thick accent farm a pirate et Cie this is not a man you want operating a forklift operating machinery or driving if he carries something through the workshop it's a safe bet he will utterly destroy something with his own brand of half-blind ignorance but what a man mysterious and enigmatic who is he where did he come from when will he go back after reading this dust-jacket summary I'm buying this book far in the way the most hated person in my carpentry shop is the deaf guy I've only been working there a year and everyone thinks he is the most of indicative hateful selfish paranoid butthole to walk the earth he's easily the hardest worker there I can tell you with confidence that he has generated the most money for the company of anyone there he absolutely owns his portion of the shop he has it down like clockwork and doesn't waste a second all that being said he throws an absolute rabid fit whenever anything out of routine happens and he won't look anyone in the eye any calls everyone lazy buttholes after a month of working there I started to learn ASL American Sign Language I learned a few things at home and would say anything that I could tell him happy Monday how are you et cetera I learned how to ask about words how to spell things how to sign numbers pretty soon he's teaching me a word a day then it speeds up to three five words a day fast forward a year and we talk constantly what I learned is that he gets mad because he is been passed up for promotions because he is deaf people don't tell him when overtime is available which he wants he sees people coming in late and still taking breaks and he never breaks those rules he gets mad that no one ever tells him about new machines being bought or new jobs coming in or the gossip I unknowingly became his liaison he stopped fighting with people he's able to get all of the jokes we tell at lunch because I can translate he can joke back through me other people are learning sign language as time goes on to what I don't get is why no ever gave him the benefit of the doubt it would suck to be deaf and never know what was going on some people have worked with him for 15 plus no one ever learned any NASL he thanked me recently for being a good friend he said things are a lot better now not working there anymore but I had one co-worker call him Roy who was opposed we worked in IT support and Roy was considered the expert for a certain system our team managed he was supposed to train me but he only taught me the very basic stuff he never told me about the plethora of problems that can occur with the system when alerts did happen which I had no idea what they were or how to respond to he would chastise me and throw me under the bus there was another incident where the boss didn't trust him to come in for an overtime shift so I was asked to come in at a certain time to cover I called Roy first thing in the morning and asked if he would come in he said he would so I went in at my normal time Roy doesn't show and I'm forced to work ten hours that day to cover his lazy butt surprisingly the incident didn't get him fired but he did proudly announce he found a new job a month later the new job rescinded their offer and he went into survival mode he deliberately continued to train me poorly to make himself unreplaceable but the company refused to let him stay and that was the end of that co-worker who talks way too dang much I can make conversation with my co-workers but we all have a sense of when it's appropriate she's the kind of person who bombard me with chatter as soon as I walk in before I've even taken my jacket off she tries to make conversation out of everything to the point where it gets really annoying because it happened so frequently I was really swamped with stuff the other day and she stopped me just to point out that a customer's last name was one letter different from her own maiden name isn't it amazing no Carol it's not s constant leads throughout the day but to do this he must take several trips to the canteen to acquire food but on the way to the canteen it starts with at least a 20-minute cigarette break complains heavily if anyone asks him to do anything as he is always too busy we have flexitime at work so he gets an early and on the odd time I have turned up early the office lights are always off apparently prefers working in the dark becomes deeply offended at any change in the office and the temperature must be kept cold as he can't work of it's too warm can't stand the coffee addicts in the office as they need caffeine that drinks several bottles of coca-cola every day I have been in the office now for nearly two years still yet to work out what he actually does he smells he's sweaty and when he sneezes he wipes his nose with his hand and that cleans it off on the desk I hate s and so do the rest of us I'm self-employed but when I forget a deadline it's definitely me our most hated person is a troll who survives off cigarettes Diet Pepsi and assault she drains mine included some of her greatest hits telling me I am not getting any younger therefore my babies would be [ __ ] her word not mine telling a delightful tale of how she once snuck in pork into a Muslims diet going on about her husband's pension and how she doesn't have to work she just works for the fun of it Yeti bum smokes and bus fare off people half her age she lives to get anyone into trouble yet she's incompetent herself and when she's called on it she says to her is human every week she threatens to quit but nowhere would have her you know those rows of staples you put in a stapler he takes two of those faces them against each other and rubs them between his fingers all day it may be worse than nails on a chalkboard and he will not stop for anyone the chick that runs everywhere inside an office building for exercise let me tell you about supervisor chef Bob we all hated Bob Bob wasn't a team player you see when we were swamped everyone would skip breaks except for Bob we would all help whoever was falling behind except Bob Bob did his own thing and left you to the wolves Bob always pointed out what you did wrong eventually Bob started helping me a little when I would fall behind I thanked him once for grilling a steak for one of my orders and I made the mistake of telling him that steaks are my weak spot I had trouble overcooking them for weeks after that he arranged it so I cooked every dang steak time passes and I become to brag one of the competent employees I noticed one night that Bob was jumping in to help me whenever I fell behind he would even ask what I wanted him to cover once I was working with him and I noticed Brenda was falling behind Brenda is always falling behind I was clear for a minute and told Bob that I was going to go help Brenda for a minute Bob said no brenda has to learn how to do her job she won't learn if we always do it for her and I saw Bob in a whole new light he wasn't lazy he just wanted us all to know about jobs once he knew anyone could handle anything then he was quick to help out he was he admitted to me once very bad at remembering who had taken breaks he had no problem covering for a break we just had to ask him instead of waiting forever for him to tell us to go now bob is gone I was genuinely sad to see him go standards have fallen and Brenda still is incapable of doing her job a girl recently promoted to be an interim education director position but she fails to leave out the interim part when introducing herself she brings her untrained disobedient dog to work wears highly inappropriate clothing to a job working with kids tells people they have to respect her because she's a director leaves her desk a mess makes every story about her willfully ignores safety protocols if she doesn't have time for them had fatherly nicknames for the old boss sat on the boss's lap at the Christmas party kissing him on the cheek and smiles like Ted Cruz the guy isn't hated it just astounds all of us how he can continue to be employed here after each and every F up he has had stuff that anyone of this would get fired for most likely but he continues to clock in each day examples took a customer car that was in storage and put about 100 miles on the car he had no permission from us or the customer to take it the customer was not told and we hope they didn't notice when the car came out of storage we normally don't store cars but this was a personal favor granted by the CEO who is this customer's friend or something like that he almost set the whole one side of our workshop on fire because he decided to overload this it's on an outlet and smoke started pouring out of it he has detailed customers cars for cash deals from them all while using our shop space and supplies he has been seen skateboarding and failing with epic falls in the workshop where guys are working on customer cars this is all on video from security footage he sits in this little side office that the detail guys use in smoke spot and the smell is so strong I have walked past and wondered how customers haven't noticed the only thing we can come up with is that he has something on someone higher up and will grab if not kept working here one of my co-workers was always desperate from my bosses approval my boss is notorious for not handing out compliments easily which only made my coworker all the more desperate for it she offered to do other people's work to show off to the boss did she'd screw it up resulting in the rest is wasting time redoing it and making her look worse in the process I might not be the most hated person in my workplace but I hate myself the most for continuing to work here we had a manager who was one of those authoritarian anal-retentive types that just had a negative outlook on things in general she was shrill and petty and I found out later she told him other co-worker manager that I would never amount to much of anything after I interviewed for a promotion with her and that other manager after she left and that other co-worker got his own team guess who was the first person he brought on board and was eventually his first promotion I not only outlasted her but earned three employee of the quarter Awards other managers hated her too and at one point one of them stuck a fish in the ceiling above her office and just left it there as it started to rot and stink up the space they would just snicker as they walked by her office while she was lighting candles or air fresheners a woman who on her first day went around asking a series of oddly specific questions like are you white or mixed how old are you are you a religious or not we stupidly answered them thinking she was just being friendly she put on a sweet naive demeanor after a couple of months off sitting on her butt and doing nothing but lying about her knowledge base skills and her progress on several projects her supervisor tries to fire her of course she's Union so that's not as easy as it sounds we find out she's filed grievances against all of us the white male is racist the one stroke to Korean lesbian supervisor is ageist I'm a bigger because I'm non-denominational Christian and she's Baptist the other african-american female around her same age was after her job this woman literally pulled every card she hired she managed to keep her job to bid thankfully corporate transferred her and got her out of our hair my fricking time to shine he's not here anymore thank God but I think it still counts let me tell you about this stain on society's butt for reference I work in a troubled youth therapeutic center refused to get a key to the gate which led to half of all of the buildings of which he most commonly went to when asked about it he would just say that that's what I have you guys for but frequently lates clocking into work fell asleep on the job almost every night people in charge couldn't get rid of him because we're so horribly understaffed and the kids liked him when confronted by other staff he got offensive and told us to mind our own damn business rarely ever wore the company uniform he almost always Ward out Tsubaki sports jackets over a long-sleeve shirt who knows if he actually had the uniform on underneath one night I was paired with him and I'd had enough I wrote him a note so as not to alert the kids as to what was going on that said if he fell asleep that I would report him to our supervisors and he literally began verbally abusing me calling me a piece of crap I have no life I should just kill myself now etc Frick you Jordan nobody misses you my office has the classic argue about anything guy I mentioned once that I had recently rewatched the movie equilibrium this guy butted in and announced that the movie actually sucks spent about ten minutes saying the effects were lame the costumes were lame futuristic movies are so overdone obviously not knowing this movie came out 15 years ago then ends it by saying I haven't actually seen it I'm just saying this election season has been a nightmare guy went out of his way to try to find out who everyone was voting for and if someone wouldn't tell him he'd make an educated guess and then argue and question their voting choice that he himself decided he vehemently debated the result of the election and ended up exposing that he in fact had no idea what the Electoral College doesn't also have never even heard the term gerrymandering not something I would expect everyone to be knowledgeable on but probably don't start a massive office fight if you don't know the basics of the argument also mentioned that LGBT rights aren't that big of a deal to an LGBT office member the best moment had to be when one co-worker decided to mess with him and posted a warning about the dangers of de hydrogen monoxide the co-worker told this guy that legalizing this dangerous chemical was important the hydrogen monoxide can suffocate people is found in acid rain etc it guy totally agreed and said Trump would handle it without being too specific I used to work at an insurance company my coworker killed her daughter and then tried to kill herself but failed I felt bad for her estranged husband he was taking the daughter to Disney and the mom killed her the night before Gary eats a whole rotisserie chicken with his hands every Wednesday Kelly doesn't work very hard Cheryl killed her daughter Tom microwaves fish not a specific person so much as a group of them but in the factory world that is generally the temps they are always an interesting group of characters our current batch includes a quiet dude who is a good worker and decent overall that quietly sings and mumbles to himself and always has a vacant dead look in his eye no one hates him he's just kinda spooky a girl with a wonky eye who openly tells people she's on dope and doesn't have custody of any of her kids and randomly interjects personal questions while you're working with her always on her phone against factory policy and wanders away into the bathroom for long periods of time a passive-aggressive terror other lady whose catty towards all the other girls then plays dumb and cocked he says guys into doing her work for her but honorable mentions who work and Wolverine a middle-aged balding guy who wore button-downs were torn off sleeves with the top buttons open to expose his manly chest hair total perv who hit on 18-year old me constantly and then called me yes would touch the operators machine settings which is grounds for a shanking some 20-something kid who was being let out of prison to work he will this shirt that said cool story babe make me a sandwich every frickin night he never shut up claimed he had his own business and would tell stories about how he ended up producing seven children by different women while still currently married to the first one Walmart workers overheard it what some crazy Walmart stuff that has gone down during your shift a woman asked me to help her find something so I start walking her over there we start walking by the toy section when I see two kids 10-13 if I had to guess playing with plastic lightsabers they were hitting each other hard enough to actually dent the plastic so I had to step in I shake my head and was about to go tell them to chill out when our secret shopper security chick walks over to them and shouts you two get the Frick out of my store the kids look around like she might have been talking to two other people she shouts go at them again and one turns to leave but the other starts walking towards me I do the panics deer-in-headlights face then I realized that he is walking up to the woman I was helping he says mom and the woman just replies you heard her get out I'll meet you in the car I realized that the secret shopper might have gone a little too far screaming the word freak at children unless there was more to the story if that mom is amazing very few parents would recognize that their kids are being destructive worked at Sam's Club we have a section where we keep security systems for homes one of them has this absolutely brain killing loop that plays on a TV above it it's the typical man wife and kids story and how the thing has changed their lives one day while working in the area a customer comes in and starts checking out the system with the loop by answered some questions for him but I noticed something was off and I just couldn't figure out what it was after the guy walked away I was straightening up the island happened to look under the loop for a split second holy mother of crap the customer I was helping looked exactly like the fake husband in the commercial he came back later and I pointed it out to some of my colleagues it was crazy as heck used to work at walnut a guy came in walked back to hardware picked up a ladder and went straight to the service desk with it trying to get a refund on it haha probably because Walmart sometimes does store credit if no receipt is there no wonder they started using more greeters to sticker ppl returning items I was told how to apply for welfare within a week of starting the job there it was a second job for me so I didn't qualify but most of my co-workers were on food stamps and day care assistance housing assistance yeah the US government indirectly subsidizes the wage expenditures of Walmart as their employees almost never earn wages above the poverty line and qualify for welfare what great jobs this wonderful socially and environmentally conscious corporation provides to the world economy s kid came in at about 2:00 a.m. with a hoodie on and a backpack he hung around until the person working electronics was occupied and then attempted to cut a cellphone out of its plastic shell he was in a hurry and he cut himself on the jagged plastic trying to pull the phone out he walked towards the bathroom in the back but presumably decided against going in because he was leaving a trail of blood behind him he walked through fabrics and crafts and wiped his hand on several rolls of fabric then proceeded to walk around the edge of the store covering random things with blood presumably for the heck of it he walked into the bathroom in the front and washed his hands then left he was caught because the backpack he was wearing was for a nearby college and his face was clearly visible on the camera it took three associates almost two hours to clean up the blood he left behind and to do to fully look over everywhere he went as to not leave bloody items on the shelf he ruined almost $500 worth of goods oh and he never got the cellphone I'm a meat processor at a Sam's Club and you will have people put raw meat in the stupidest places the freezers are classic but I love it when people decide they don't want their pork loin they just had meticulously sliced and they just throw it in with the potatoes a kid had just started his first day as a cashier and he had trouble working the register the customer got really P offered how long he was taking and cursed the kid out and then spits in his face the guy just walked off as everyone stared and the kid cried another time to white guys came in asking every Hispanic if they knew where the burritos were and they were laughing and giving high-fives when they told them where they were also the manager hired this other guy who later told me that he and the manager were having an affair and their wives didn't know I called Bulls thinking he was messing with me and then showed me a picture on his phone of them kissing the guy ended up ratting on several employees for being lazy or on their phones and got them fired after a few months I had it with that place they were extremely disorganized and irresponsible that it was a miracle that the story even functioned abuse was the only thing the managers did well It was as though they were competing with the customers to see which of them could make us feel more like trash the day I quit this old lady and her daughter showed up with five carts full of food I worked at the garden center and people think it's faster to pay there so a lot of people pile up and so I had a huge line of people waiting behind her if she's having a conversation with the daughter and is loading up her groceries and I scan two cars almost she then says who told you to start scanning I'm gonna price-match you're usually supposed present an ad but instead she hands me five pages of tiny illegible red handwriting she wants me to take out all the items from the 20-some bags and rescan them and then find them on one of the five pages and price-match I tell her she's supposed to bring an ad from the store and that I can't price match her stuff so then she makes a call to someone Cal she's be the line of people is furious at both of us my co-worker says dude just do it she's here every week and the manager makes us do it anyway so as I press the button to restart the purchase and to take off the scanned items from the register the piece-of-crap freezes then the store manager shows up and turns out the lady is his frickin aunt and he's mad too everyone is staring at me I'm drenched in sweat the machine is frozen too many items in bags to rescan three cards left to scan five pages I can't read and a huge frickin line I called her a bee and walked out the entrance twenty feet from us and went home my phone then gets like ten voice mails from my manager I don't even listen to them and I just delete finally it was over free call that I would have done the same thing I was helping pull grocery pallets to the floor around 9:00 p.m. for the night crew but this day we had numerous deliveries so I'm dropping the pallets in the center of the main aisle I noticed two women standing in the middle of the aisle talking it doesn't register as anything out of the ordinary 45 minutes later they're still there and I'm running out of space to put these pallets by the end of it all they were in cases on three sides by pallets of groceries five feet tall when I left there were still there talking some say they are still talking to this day this list could go on forever I was a manger at the Walmart I worked at for about two years one day this lady came in she was regular so everyone kind of knew her she decided to walk up to me and say my husband is stealing tons of toys in the children's section I laughed it off until she kept looking at me with no smirk at all and I realized she wasn't lying she told me they've been fighting the whole day and he's pee her off I went to the back and looked at the cameras and saw this guy stuffing tongues of toys down his pants I couldn't believe this so I called up the store manager and they brought him into the office and banned only him in the store he cried and said sorry and we never saw him again also some old guy used to sit at the entrance and touch himself not so secretly when chicks would walk in I'm imagining him trying to walk with a pool noodle down each pant leg I love that Walmart stuff works as a universally understood the script or of a certain type of behavior ten black chicks two black guys came in the store two got into argument about one of the black dudes and it turned into a ten girl brawl titties and all that came out into my manager just sat there trying to discover it with no success nobody was caught they got away before the cops came couple got caught fricking in the family restroom forgot to lock door and another employee walked in on them local drug addict walked out with 350 inch TVs without being noticed chick tried walking out with a cart full of groceries it didn't work so she made a run for it had a car outside waiting for her and all all overnight shift I'll let you in on a secret the couple didn't forget to lock the door I worked night shift stocking for one summer during college there was once a couple that came in the night before bamboozle started and they wandered around the store for six out of the eight hours I was there and they were high as Frick the woman kept asking me about which babywipes would be best to take with her to the festival and she would pick stuff up and carry it around for a while and just set them down in random places another time I was hit on by a man while I was on my way to the restroom he called me Mommy and he had a greasy jheri curl in the largest case of natty like that we sold I hung out in the bathroom for a while after that because I was super uncomfortable and I was also surprised by how many people will take infants shopping at 11:00 p.m. newborns nurse every two to four hours sometimes it's nicer to hit up Walmart at night where you only have to dodge pallets instead of rude people especially if the baby is going to be awake and keeping you awake anyways now when the child is old enough to sleep through the night that's when you're trying to finally catch up on your sleep also so late tonight Walmart trips are out I was working the service desk and had gone on break when I came back I saw a puddle of red on the floor in front of the desk we were trying to figure out what it was when I see it's coming from a box on the counter this box was one of the old school stereo system boxes this happened about 15 years ago and so we opened it the girl who was covering my break pipes up oh that got brought back by a guy who says it doesn't work he's exchanging it for our new inside the box is a defrosting turkey a duffel bag of old nasty clothes and a case of beer it just as we start pulling stuff out the guy came up to the counter sees us looking at the box and takes off so not only did he not get a new stereo but he lost her turkey in case of beer fill nothing I like to image he was using such a random assortment of things in the box so that he weighed the same like he thought he was being extra smart one of the managers made a copy of their key to the cash office and let her boyfriend Robert got quite a bit of money got caught not only because she made the key at the store but boyfriend didn't have a job and they both got new cars right after the robbery kinda had a similar situation but cash person don't know if it was manager took a bundle of cash then left never came back police arrested him at his house I worked in the meat section for a while I could kind of see down the cereal aisle out of my work space one day I saw a 55 ish guy on a rascal scooter coming down the aisle with only a half gallon of milk with him he proceeded to grab a box of fruity pebbles open it up opened the milk and pour it into the cereal he then started to drink eat cereal out of the box while milk and fruity pebbles flowed down the sides of his face he slowly began scooting around periodically suffering from his box of cereal I didn't say anything because I didn't care and secondly I found him inspirational later I found the half-finished milk soaked box stuffed in a coffin freezer while I was restocking that made me regret not calling the butthole out comma milk soaked box stuffed in a coffin freezer while I was restocking that made me regret not calling the butthole out on the bright side at least he put it in the freezer better than putting a milk soaked box hidden in the clothing section for it to go sour and rot ex-employee here had a Code Red someone had set a rack of clothes on fire as I'm trying to rush a customers out of the garden shop exit one of the assistant managers comes up with her mom and asks me to ring them out really quick had an employee come through my line trying to steal everything she could get her zone she had three purses over her shoulder items stuffed into big bags of Halloween candy UPC stickers from 25 cents votive candles stuck to pricy electronics etc I guess she though I wouldn't notice she hands me her employee discount card and I asked for her Eid then call security had a special needs lady that would get dumped at the store by family every day she would just wander around and shop for hours if she did have anything in her buggy she'd pay for it but then would go to the service desk and return it all she wasn't a huge problem just kind of odd and a nuisance bothering customers and employees all day but the store wanted to kick her out but didn't know how they finally got her one day as she got to cup at the snack bar but don't pay for it before taking a drink banned her from the store for stealing had a department manager in the photo lab that would get pedicures on the clock and then take three hour lunches hadass clean photo processing equipment with SOS pads big problem is gritty and throws off the chemicals would send us home early because the district manager was telling he to cut ours he wasn't and she'd get pictures that co-workers had sent out to be processed and show them to all the employees her favorite the gay couple and produced that liked to crossdress in their private target time I hate walnut some lady came and determined to buy peanuts for her squirrel she wanted unsalted peanuts but we only had salted she freaked out and picked up several bags and started chucking them at my head got yelled at by a middle-aged man because I didn't know what clothing size his toddler wears someone tried to buy 45 frozen turkeys on Christmas Eve 30 minutes before closing we only had about nine left thankfully she was civil about it yelled at for not having snow suits into the summer yelder for not having swimsuits in the winter one of my co-workers got fired for stealing a premade salads from produce every single day for his lunch it took them three months to notice I was actually very surprised not to find swimsuits for women at Walmart this December in a st. August in Florida near the ocean they did have men's swimming shorts but not women's swimsuits I did not yell thought I used to push carts for them I've found a used condom in the cart and I've also found a grocery bag with a half-eaten rotisserie chicken in it I know because when I lifted the bag to throw it away the bag ripped open and what I assumed was milk in the bag also spilled all over the cart you must know it wasn't milk I used to work as a photo lab associate in a Walmart in Southern California so occasionally we get women that like to print out naked pictures of themselves for their spouses that are in jail prison and each one of those times we have to recite a script claiming that for some legal reasons we couldn't not allow them to purchase the pictures and we would have to dispose of those set pictures in the shredder one particular woman liked to hide her nudes on the different packages that comes through the machine that prints out the pictures my job which I enjoyed very much was to look through each one of those pictures with the customer one by one I generally handle the pictures like and I handle poker cards by the way each time I had to do the search in front of that particular woman I always end up feeling like a professional poker card Handler and the thought of finding a big red thumping vagina staring at my face came to me like trying to find Waldo in a children's book sure enough when I find them I get this a cube angled smirk grin on my lips that's hidden very well and the recitation of the script comes to play oh man if I didn't work an electronics and covered for photo lab often I would have not believed you but so many people tend to try and print this out heck I remember when we got a new seasonal associate she was probably 19 and Mormon she went to go assist someone on the self print machines and she came back terrified from what she saw work night crew out of high school hunting department had compound bows arrows and targets we used to set them up in the island shoots and the bows didn't have sights on them we missed a lot pallet jack races in the back room cherry tomato fights in the produce section the best part about that job was we had a co-worker that collected toys he knew all the valuable Hot Wheels starting lineup figures et Cie so we'd go through all the boxes and hide the good stuff till we could pay for it the best part about that job was we had a co-worker that collected toys he knew all the valuable Hot Wheels starting lineup figures et Cie so we'd go through all the boxes and hide the good stuff till we could pay for it you you and your ilk are the reason I can't find any freaking transformers four months after their street date there used to be this young woman who about once a week would come in browse the clothing and try clothes on not unusual expect she would just do it there take her shirt off stand in her bra put the shirt on see how it fit and the repeat process multiple times she had a nice set of boobs so that helped it was a secret amongst the workers when she walked and there would be a whisper campaign and even oblique calls over the walkie talkies that she was in we'd then totally stealthily stand around and waits until the show started even the women got in on it we tried now very best to not let manga man know there is absolutely no way she didn't know half the workers in the store was staring at her tea sadly one day she stopped and would just be a normal shopper we strongly suspect a manager found out and intervened worked at Walmart for two months when I was in high school one Saturday afternoon I was finishing my shift and actually telling my co-workers by when a customer walked into my department he bent over and vomited all over the floor before turning around without saying a word and leaving my shift was scheduled to end at 6:00 p.m. and it was 601 p.m. but guess who had to clean it up Frick Walmart a former colleague of mine got caught boosting a few hundred dollars worth of pokemon cards from Walmart while he was taking a client on an outing we cared for disabled people I never found out if he hid product on the client's personal wheelchair but I had to bring a second van to the store and pick my client up while the police took my coworker to jail crap like this is why I don't touch trading card games I used to watch him flip through expansion packs and go from unfathomable frustration to complete elation it's like watching a junkie finding product in their bag I was a customer at Walmart during Black Friday and went to get a 3d s and the employee looked so scared when he told me the Black Friday sale didn't apply anymore still bought him cos Pokemon I worked in the sporting goods department of a super Wal Mart for a summer and one time had to spend almost 10 minutes convincing a man he was not allowed behind the counter to look at the ammo and the cabinet and that I also refused to open up the case until he got back on the other side of the counter this was mostly because a disgruntled ex-employee had broken the key off in the lock after unlocking the cabinet and leaving it open and the manager didn't see a point in replacing it every time someone wanted to look at a box of bullets or shells or anything we had to pretend we were unlocking a totally open glass cabinet door I don't know if the guy gets behind a register because he thinks he can or the totally unlocked bullet cabinet is the more walmart part of that eventually we had the store manager and security there forcibly removing the guy from the store because it eventually became about the principles of this being a free country or something for the guy actually that was probably the most Walmart part ok I'll just go and stand in that guy's room and look through his closet because it's a free country used to work there a long but time ago a lot of the cameras and even cameras they are just the little black spheres there to deter any theft or whatever and the cameras that are in the store no one sits there and watches them not Walmart but Walmart stuff really so I work at this local hardware store and this old couple walks in oh my god it's 6 o'clock can we just browse for a couple minutes I know you're closed mom we don't close for another three hours she chuckled and grabbed a shopping cart for her and her husband things seemed normal here right but then they make it deeper into the store being stuck at register all I heard were the two giggling constantly I was starting to wonder what the heck the two were doing apparently they had found a place out of the way of security cameras to have sex maybe it was on their bucket list or something I don't know at least they bought some sponges from the dollar section after while matters over did what's the wall Matisse thing you've ever wanted wolf otters don't know why I said this but it seemed like a good response people putting crap in places it doesn't belong a half-eaten green pepper in the freezer deli cheese in the women's clothing section a pool noodle in a freezer full of bacon also one of the grossest things I ever saw was when we remodeled and move the shelves where the pet aisle used to be years and years of old moldy dog food underneath didn't read dog food just dog took me four times reading it to understand why you said it to calm still that's very gross as most of my stories from working at Walmart involve growth waste of food perishables like someone wheeling an entire pallet of frozen turkeys out to the floor leaving it there all day by accident then having to throw them all away we threw out about 10 grand in ice cream twice before management decided it was worth it to actually fix the freezers had a co-worker find a pregnant woman in the women's bathroom on the floor unconscious with four cans of duster air around her a guy that was a really good worker supposedly getting fired for eating ice cream in the freezer knew someone that worked there for a while and was managing the women's underwear department it wasn't unusual for people to ask for help in figuring out proper sizing but what was unusual was that one older woman decided that the best way to achieve it was to not wear a bra at all and just take her shirt off on the sales floor to see if they knew what size she was for maximum efficiency my sister works at one of the busiest walnuts in the country and it's in the middle of the hood there's this little coffee shop inside right next to the part of the store she works in and she said one day she looked over and there was the guy sitting down in there casually smoking a crack pipe she called for security to come real move him on Black Friday we had a Toshiba notebook for $199 these two kids tried to use a printed coupon that they edited to say $200 off any Toshiba coupon I took the coupons and we had security kick them out I had a black lady who had a coupon for two dollars off her 8 pack off soap she tried to use a bar those coupons when buying 8 single $1 bars she had a [ __ ] fit when we denied her in electronics someone used the tablets to film a video of him groping his girlfriend they used a still from that as the tablet background people complaining about 10-20 cents of their milk not being on sale or price matched I have several family members who work at various Walmart and Target some highlights of the horror stories I've heard over the years coke bandits and the restrooms happen on a weekly basis some of them are quite artistic apparently the lady who had an accident and just kept walking with a nice trail of poop behind her they had to shut down an entire section and bring in hazmat a gentleman who cut himself and then just bled all over the place he refused all offers to call paramedics and left a crazy lady who accused them of spying on her then went into the parking lot and started a costing other customers to warn them the police took her away to be Baker acted long long ago when I worked there is a summer job cashier I just got an on shift turned up at the registers the other people were talking a little excitedly I asked what was going on and apparently someone had just gotten kicked out of the store incredulous I got them to tell me how overweight and supposedly vastly overweight woman wearing a string bikini had come in to shop and was promptly shown the door and that was when I realized the shocked expression on their faces was due to mental scarring and not from the rare occurrence of someone getting turned away from Walley world two women got into a fistfight over a pair of shoes in the shoe department and they fought all the way to the opposite side of the store not my story but a friend who worked at the salon at one of the super watts she went to use a bathroom in the middle of her shift and when she finished she saw there wasn't any toilet paper left on the bottom roll but it was one of those ones that you can push on an upper roll to have it drop down and start using that so she reaches up to push the new roll down when her fingers go into something moist and sticky took her hand out to see her fingertips covered in poop someone had taken a dump probably fished him out of the toilet then crammed it inside the toilet paper dispenser my friend is a driver for Walmart mutt and they get treated like kings paid to pick up trailer drop it sleep at Walmart store if they allow it many are going on over 20 years I've got a serious radio and they advertise for Walmart drivers on the news channels they make it sound pretty good someday that kid will post on future reddit about an awful time he had as a child and the only highlight is the kind Walmart employee that got him clean underwear pants and socks he won't remember who it was but he will wish that he could thank you for your kindness I don't work at Walmart but I was evacuated from the Vero Beach FL location two days ago apparently someone had called in a bomb threat classic our Florida Monster Fair robot emus what's the worst job you've ever had cutting fancy glass fusing mosaics a glass cutter is basically a pen with a small metal wheel on one end and a metal ball on the other the fancy glass is thick heavy expensive and sharp the weight thickness and texture changes drastically one may be a three centimeter smooth green glass sheet the next may be a texture 5 centimeter piece of orange there is no training glass dust is a thing my fingertips were swollen with tiny shards of glass and I broke much more glass that I was worth it was a short gig yes Rick that and any other job involved with glass dancing bear I was a waiter at a kid's restaurant which had a bear as its mascot the new guy had to be the bear on their first day which meant putting on a massive bear costume over our waiters uniform including a huge fur head that you could barely see out off you have been led around the place to wave at the parents and play with the kids once per hour if you spoke you were fired as some of these kids were returned customers who would recognize a waiters voice wanting to impress my boss I really hammed it up I danced i gestured I goofed around i sat on a mother's lap i ruffled her father's hair while he growled get off me or I'll stab you the boss loved it so much that he made me be the bear every day I worked there which would be great except it was August and so hot that the restaurant aircon broke the bear suit hadn't been washed in the history of the restaurant so served as a memorial to the sweat of a hundred fallen waiters little kids would run headfirst at the bear and headbutt my testicles with depressing regularity and all it turned me was the disgust of my Y team who thought I was goofing off work by being the bear since it was clearly easier than carrying two plates of reheated lasagna across the room and refilling drinks I thought you were talking about a different kind of dancing bear hotel housekeeping if it comes out of the human body I've cleaned it up I started in a by the air motel when I was 14 owned by a woman who didn't bother with hazardous waste procedure and cleaned up what looked like a murder scene with nothing but a bleach and kitchen gloves I walked into that room and was absolutely positive that when I pulled the shower curtain open there was going to be a body in the bathtub thankfully there wasn't just blood everywhere owner refused to let me report it made me clean it and I didn't want to get in crap for bleaching a murder scene at 14 so I never did call the cops the hotel owner definitely killed someone and made you clean it up I've had crap jobs but nothing compares to this guy that called into a radio contest for worst job titles as his was chicken butthole remover he stood on the slaughter line and made sure the carcasses were butthole free if they weren't he was to fix it tell us why you want this job well I've always been passionate about not eating chicken buttholes so I figured I could do some good in the world just making sure one family doesn't accidentally consume chicken anus is enough for me probably working for a moving company everybody dreads moving day for me that was every day I liked it new houses with new challenges and new people to charm out of tip money every day I also got to nice work out it was the illiterate [ __ ] co-workers and scamming bosses that got me out of it I sprinkled mud onto potatoes that had already been washed so that they would look freshly dug when they hit the supermarket most depressing holiday job I've had picking mangoes in Australia many people are unaware that if you snap off the stalk on a mango poisonous SAP flies out which makes you blister quite dramatically also the best job because of the beautiful scenery Australia where even the fruit can kill you I worked at a slaughterhouse for a little while they killed steers there but got pork shipped in the hams came in a gigantic cardboard VAT probably five feet wide and four feet deep they were heavily waxed on the inside to make them waterproof and had steel banding running around the outside kinder like an old keg or barrel once we fished out most of the hams and trimmed them there was always a couple feet of blood at the bottom as the new guy was my job to dangle over the edge with a meat hook in one hand fishing for the remaining hams and scraps usually it was about an hour and shoulder deep blood with your face next to the surface I don't think I have any right to complain about my past jobs now I worked in an office entry-level job after a career switch my boss was a crazy woman never happy never satisfied always changing her mind and blaming everyone else one day she called me in her office and she gave me two projects and got mad when I was asked her questions about how she wanted them but at the end of the meeting I asked her which one of these two you need first her both I thought she misunderstood my question so I repeated which one of these two you need first her both no really which one of these two you need first her at this point she was yelling both both both both both a few months later I had enough of her crap and I went to HR to complain about her treatment of the staff of course she had a friend in the HR department and she got wind of it she called me in her office and she complained to me about me complaining about her and she told me you don't complain here you leave that was my clue I called my headhunter and found myself a new better job with better pay a few years later after I had built my career and I was actually ahead of her in responsibilities and position I met her at a conference and she was giving false praise how I was one of the best workers she ever had and then rhetorically asked me why I left in front of people I told her that I had to thank her for my career since she was the one who suggested I left by telling me you don't complain here you leave she really didn't like that lol revenge is sweet Delta door solar panel salesman for a corrupt home energy company nothing better than knocking on someone's front door right in the middle of a Patriots game I did door-to-door for home renovations windows doors siding et Cie right after the 2008 market crash I can't tell you how many people told me they weren't going to be able to make their next mortgage payment let alone spend $20 K of new windows but soul-crushing internship at a public relations firm in college was promised agency experience writing opportunities and valuable experience turns out what they actually meant was sitting in a room for eight hours cold calling CEOs from an outdated call list and trying to trick them into a sales presentation might I add about a month into the job they hired a new intern manager who was the epitome of Massachusetts trash drove to work every day from the Cape on his Holly two-plus hours one way lauded his degree from Bunker Hill Community College chain-smoked sandy Jade on the side had trashed North Shore nightclubs he insisted on sitting in the room with us for eight hours to check if we were actually making calls all while berating us for being poor employees and cheap labor on my last day of the internship he called me into his office and told me the only reason you are still here is because we didn't have to pay you you'll never be successful like me you're not cut out for the business world if I were you I would drop out and try to find a trade you'll succeeding even as a 19 year old I knew an idiot when I saw one I looked him square in the eye and said you can go freak yourself and walked out with the other interns he then wrote a letter of complaint to my school to try and have my internship credit revoked but luckily my advisor knew the situation and cut him out to Dan the DJ if you're reading this I want you to know I took your advice and did my best to never become you being poor means being willing to do freaked up things for tiny bits of money so I've had more sucky jobs than I can count but the one that stands out to me most his daughter door political fundraising canvassing this was back in the early 90s the way it worked was you had a clipboard a pen a petition and some envelopes but the whole crew would meet at the office and then pile into the 15 passenger van s the supervisors would drive us out to a territory tough anywhere from 10 minutes to hours away from the office then they would divide us into pairs and give each pair of canvases a map marked with the pair's assigned turf if I recall correctly we started knocking on doors around three o'clock or 4 p.m. and kept at it until 8 o'clock in that time we were supposed to knock on people's doors and talk to them about whatever issue we were working on at that point when I did my brief stint it was nursing home reform legislation then we were supposed to get the occupant to sign our petition and make a contribution preferably check or charge on the spot our nightly quota was 120 dollars if you think that people hate having telemarketers call their houses at dinnertime to ask them for money just imagine how much they loved it when those same telemarketers show up unannounced on their front door steps between crappy weather vicious dogs seek heads and tweakers answering the door people's pervasive hatred of trespasses and solicitors and constant fear of being fired for missing my quota field canvassing was definitely one of the worst jobs I've ever had I've had this job pretty bad destroys the soul I worked at a used-car lot for about a month my first summer home from college paid decent and under the table the summer of 2001 I was getting paid $15 HR which was awesome for a college kid looking to save up for beer money in the fall I was a lot boy and prep the cars that were sold charged up the batteries on the ones that had been sitting for a while and picked up lunch for the sales team overall it wasn't bad but the work was tedious in the Sun in the people that I worked with were an odd sort sales guy one when he wasn't selling used cars he was a bouncer door guy at a third-rate strip club he would borrow our high-end SUVs to drive escorts on the weekends without the boss knowing he would have me put dealer plates on them after the owner left on Saturday afternoons sales guy - this was peak rap rocky area and dressed and acted like a Fred Durst clone bragged about how he had multiple girlfriends and would make them bring him food at alternating times one afternoon the lunch schedule got crossed and we had a trashy girl fight that would have been successful in to our public freakout office manager former girlfriend of sales guy one in sales guy - who retired from Dancing - go straight she still escorted on the weekends though processed finance applications and did the cash drops at the bank owner paid everything in cash and specialized in selling cars for Julie Lewis below 10k dollars every Friday we had a customer who would come in and cosign on a crappy Nissan Altima with a TK on it and would pay in cash always from NY or North Jersey I just assumed they were engaging in narcotics or human trafficking mechanic quad guy kept at himself and would listen to classic rock all day after about a week he told me was happy for the job as he had been away for a while he was good about showing me how to work on engines and we would hang out in the garage drinking Miller High Life out of paper cups dude loved Steely Dan after about a month I nope trite out of there while the pay was good the ongoing drama of the people I worked with wasn't enough to hang around sales guy - had just gotten arrested on the lot for failing to pay child support and I knew I was just a few days away of being guilty by association of something I don't know why but this is my favorite story from this thread something about the visuals of the mechanic drinking beer and other undesirable individuals behaving in under syllable ways with a young kid sort of all trapped in the middle of it before he escaped back to college is all sort of endearing to me great story I was a furnace helper in steel factory we made bumper mounts and hinges for trucks hoods and other heavy steel parts I unloaded red-hot parts from the furnace with a pair of tongs I used to catch fire two or three times a day I hated that come on I used to catch fire two or three times a day I hated that this part got to me you said like it's commonplace to catch fire at your job then had to further point out that you didn't like catching on fire that is a horrible job dealer in a casino you learn a lot about different games and get to play cards all shift you also make some pretty good coin with tips and whatnot however you get to meet some of the worst people on the planet when people start losing money of your table several hundred to several thousand at a time suddenly that fun atmosphere becomes soul-sucking ly tense to the point of you better hope you're not walking alone when you off tonight but you get to call your pit boss over and say this patron just threatened me boom booted out of the casino banned for six months to a year and possibility of criminal charges sometimes I got a nice justice boner working bare my friend was a sick bow dealer she has a striking look that is very recognizable one night she went out and ate orange chicken and became violently ill the next week a man sat at her table asked how her meal was and then laughed maniacally after that she wouldn't even set foot in Chinatown for fear or player retaliation worked for UMG straight out of high school processing CD orders it was still a thing back then I was 17 the only guy in the office working with nothing but 40 plus year old women sweet Jesus the raunchiest conversations that led me to discover the definition of TMI the work was fine just data entry and they had a massive backlog when I arrived in the first week I cleared it all out and no one in the office had anything to do including myself I couldn't browse the web I brought a book into the office and was reading it got yelled at by my supervisor for it I explained that I had nothing to do and sitting around staring at nothing for eight hours a day was torture what about how backlog it's gone that can't be true what go check for yourself comes back well okay if you have nothing to do come talk to me after a week of coming to her every hour on the hour asking for something to do and her saying she had nothing she yelled at me again for bugging her they eventually fired me for refusing to come in ten minutes prior to my scheduled time and paid and logging into the phones there was nothing going on and I sure as crap was not going to sit around doing nothing for one more minutes then I had to much less and paint close second was many years later I was brought into packaged software for a company that had bought another company get it up to their standards make sure it installed silently etc they didn't have a place for me to sit so they put me in an unheated warehouse in the winter with massive bay doors open up for six times a day for deliveries after working there for a month I still didn't even have a computer to work on after a month I got a computer but there was nothing for me to do still it took me a week to track down my manager after this point and he said that they wouldn't have work for me for a few more months aren't you lucky you get to do nothing and collect a paycheck he said to me yet real lucky then they brought on another guy for some reason to do the same job we were both incredibly confused to say the least after another month and having read about two dozen books I just stopped showing up submitted my time and check my email every day to see if there was any work to do as well as sent weekly emails asking if there were any tasks coming my way soon to my manager but finally after two months they caught on and let me go I didn't feel bad about it in the slightest can't believe roofing isn't on here that is absolutely the freakin worst pretty much like being a human egg on a griddle all day with a side order of humping shingles around and trying not to fall and break your neck I was a cashew flicker at a candy factory literally I flicked the bad cashews off a conveyer belt managed a local restaurant worked ten to twelve hour days often with closing and leaving at 1:00 a.m. only to be back to open at 8:00 a.m. six days a week with an 8 a.m. meeting on my only one full day off freak that talk about soul sucking pyramid schemes selling kirby vacuums for in-house demonstrations got out of that within couple weeks I took a job with a marketing company working at the mall trying to get people to take surveys literally hundreds of people walked right by refusing to make eye contact with me it was like being a ghost horrible job hated every second of it I quit after six hours that's crappy it's not that nobody wanted to talk to you though it's just that no one likes to do surveys lifeguard it was hours upon hours of boredom intermingled with seconds of sheer terror glorified cleaners spent most of my time cleaning changing rooms and toilets with a bit of time on poolside doing Jack Hall in four years there was one rescue when I was on shift and I was mopping the floor in reception I actually didn't take the job but it would have been the worst by far I applied for a position in an industrial bakery as a sanitation technician as advertised the job would entail disassembling cleaning and reassembling equipment but when I showed up for my interview really an informal orientation the nice lady told me I would actually be standing at one end of a conveyor belt and given one simple task to pick up trays of bread coming off the conveyor belt rotates them 90 degrees and place them on a different conveyor belt for the entire duration of my 12-hour overnight shift it would have nearly doubled my pay but I just could not do it I put my little hat back on and went back to rolling Doritos even in the darkest most horrible open to close days of my time at the burrito restaurant I would console myself with the thought of that job and how much worse things could be the fact that their machinery isn't designed to do that without human intervention is mind-boggling working at a music store rather instruments all day there is at least one guy who is playing his first concert for everyone in the store he has the most expensive guitar hooked up to the loudest and while he sausage fingers through the intro to sweet child o mine at the counter is a customer upset because the electric guitar he just purchased exploded when he plugged the one stroke for Jack into the wall socket in his living room this actually happened in the drum room there's a group of teenagers doing their best to play a blast beat they heard pickles talk about in a Metalocalypse Rey run at the counter there is a drummer for a church band that is placing an order for 18 inches deep snare elem shell if the keyboard area has a mentally challenged kid doing his best wesley willis impression by using the player long function of a crappy Casio keyboard his parents think it's great the elder jazz pianist is dissatisfied with the new electronic keyboards because they don't sound like my Steinway at the counter is an aspiring producer trying to convince the salesman to teach him to use the software since he can't refund it now that it's registered to his I lock key in the DJ room there's one kid who thinks he is dead mouse by literally just playing a deadmau5 CD there's another kid who's asking for a record needle and demo vinyl so he can try scratching record needles are about $60 to 120 dollars each so no none of them have any idea what a DJ mixer is in the Pro Audio area there's an old guy who did some roadie work in the 80s and he's arguing with the salesman over the price being higher than what it was 35 years ago there's another customer looking to buy sound reinforcement for his church but he's haggling over getting a better price for Jesus despite the fact that he already won't be paying tax on the items at the counter is a man angry that the microphone he bought doesn't work without a cable or a speaker to plug it into this actually happened then there's the people buying sheet music and hardware for their orchestral instruments they're generally pretty chill if a little weird usually they just want reads while he sausage fingers through the intro to sweet child o minutes at least it isn't stairway to heaven wait I bet he did that too currently in retail sales and it is soul-sucking if I didn't know I was leaving soon I don't think I'd even be able to get out of bed in the morning this is one of the reasons I left my retail job as well I found myself dreading the thought of waking up on bank holidays and weekends as well as being verbally abused by customers with a know-it-all complex who is that guy girl you work with I took the liberty of guy you come back from lunch and your desk is cleared of the project you'd been working on you run to the bathroom and find your freshly poured coffee replaced with your washed empty mug as you dare to say what the heck he comes around the corner of your cube I took the liberty of straightening up your work area and gleefully moves on to ruin someone else's afternoon that's when you go into his office and take the liberty of turning every single thing upside down work with a woman who repeats having fun yet almost every hour of the shift there is this one man in the office I'll call him Tim Tim is a very elderly and angry man known for this woman's cardigan he wears every day as well as his men heated conversations of which the snippets are pure gold last week out of the blue he proclaims he was up to his knees in blood while on a phone call yesterday he said he would rather be doing blow down the streets of New York one of my favorites included sometimes in life you're the chips sometimes you're the dip I love and fear Tim at a group lunch he claimed not to have cash and took everyone else's money and paid with his credit card we later learned that he didn't pay at all and pocketed the extra cash meant for the waitress tip detox case worker here I work with that girl who talks about her failing marriage how much she hates her kids and how much she hates working where she works she's a very odd person one day she loves her husband and talks about how much of a God he is yet she hates her marriage if she talks about how much of a bastard her kids are yet she wants another one making it six children lazy as frickin she's that girl at the yearly Christmas party where she is the only one that goes over her limit and starts spilling secrets people have told her and not to anyone surprise she's gotten many of her coworkers to hate her guts upon walking in the door my boss asked me what my Christmas plans were I told him I'm Jewish he in all dead seriousness asked me if I would be more comfortable in accounting a salesman who occasionally comes through and hassles us the first time he asked what I was working on I didn't realize what he was up to I thought he needed help with something and of course I'm glad to help he keeps asking things like you're not busy you don't have anything going on it seemed odd how many times he asked but still I'm thinking he wants help is trying to be polite and his warranty is interrupting me I get started on what he asks and he leaves next thing I know my boss arrives asking why I said I have nothing to do thankfully my boss is pretty cool so nothing bad happened that salesman is not our boss or even in our department yet he occasionally comes through checking on us and asking things like why does that job take two people he's such a prick there's a dude that watches videos of God knows what and screams along to them I think he's watching wrestling or maybe boxing or something because every now and then he'll just shout Oh put him in a body bag or o HHH or ha queen bee hurry and start dusting off his hands loudly and laughing it's frickin bizarre the guy that I worked with has only one eye and can drive a forklift better than I ever could with two great guy too every single day he comes in and spews some BS he just invested another 175 dollars K in some property he just had a genius moment on the way into work and will now be able to solve the energy crisis he just met some famous smart person like Elon Musk who said he was the smartest person he ever met this isn't occassionally this is all the time literally every single day you can't even talk with this guy it's so irritating he follows me everywhere and you try to have some normal conversation and he just spews more BS so I tried talking with him once and said one of my car has this thing going on with it I may need to take it to the shop he replies with oh that reminds me my boyfriend is having the Lamborghini dealer come over tonight he's having a midlife crisis but work just gave him another two million dollar bonus because he's such an amazing architect Frick this guy my old coworker I couldn't tell if he was a mad genius or a man-child I have not and will not meet anyone else in my life who is anything like this guy b1 was so American that he told me he will show up to my birthday party in a stars-and-stripes banana hammock going like an eagle he moved before my birthday or I think he would have to took the fan and some wires out of a recycled PC he somehow found a d battery somewhere and hooked up the wires so the fan would run he would likely fan people as their works sometimes right in front of customers do you nice and cool yet three drafted and made a full continent on the end of a magnetic tentacle the Talon is a phone holder he has a patent and his marketing at Hsu there's also a version with a monkey tail on the end of a Raptor jaw for he put a rubber band ball on a paper clip then impaled it to the ceiling of the break room turned on the strobe function on his phone's flashlight and opened a Pandora's playlist told everyone they deserved a disco party and would shriek when someone started to take it down five hugged an old man who went off on another coworker because he just needs a friend six strategically planned out how to travel from the front of the store to the back using only the rafters a section of it he needed to turn into a liquid he drew a diagram seven printed a bunch of rebel flags on the store printer and gave them to our black supervisor saying she needed to hand them out to preserve his heritage he was southern and completely sarcastic 8 printed a banner size check made up to him for a million dollars subject was Winnefeld biggest Pope plenty more - I just can't keep them all straight I miss that guy I'm a waiter and one of my co-workers is an Italian old man that is so close to retirement that he doesn't care anymore he pretends to pee into wine bucket by - winning his back at the customers and emptying a water bottle in them he pranks calls the restaurant by calling and going go Frick yourself before hanging up smokes constantly and is never on time I don't work there anymore but when I was a delivery driver for a pizza company there was a guy who just didn't give a Frick the boss had the hots for him so he got away with so much crap never arrived when he was supposed to always got to go home on time or early if he wanted even if we were completely backed up whenever he closed he never cleaned in the back kitchen so instead of firing him he shifts got changed to opens he would take random breaks and play guitar and sing loudly about getting drunk and smoking weed in the storeroom loud enough for customers to hear at one stage he even peed on the floor in the room where we made the dough after a few months he went on holiday he never came back but his name was always on the roster oh you mean mr. click clicky clickety click click pen guy I work in an office I have an elder lady 4550 next to me who says awesomesauce at least five times a day I am thinking about quitting because of that bring a flask of liquor to work every time she says awesomesauce yell out whoop their ideas and take a swig pretend like it's normal and never explain why she'll either stop saying it or you'll get so drunk you stop caring either way mission success oh man we have the over opinionated oversharer we've stopped using her real name and now just refer to her as TMI hey did you send that document yet well I would have if it weren't for the fact that this guy I've been seeing for the past three days has this brother who is a total douchebag wasn't even considerate of my gluten allergy over the weekend which really sparked my ADHD and so I smoked two packs of cigarettes on Saturday even though the Liberals keep raising taxes on them which actually worked out because I lost 3 pounds from not having an appetite okay can you just send it over this is every conversation the guy who eats several hard-boiled eggs every morning for breakfast in an open cube environment the smell is somehow worse on Monday mornings I used to work with a guy who would only eat four hard-boiled eggs for lunch each day but he'd only ever gets through three of them and he'd walk around the office trying to hand people his extra egg that was the most normal part about the guy I am afraid whenever he wants to say something he pauses in the middle of the sentence like he's waiting for you to react to every bit of information so my son was watching Netflix pauses for four seconds eye contact all the time and he told me to join him pauses again to start watching Jessica Jones he usually do it with a glass of water and take a sip during the pauses I liked all my co-workers the woman I couldn't stand was HR from corporate she was here for a week and I could not wait for her to leave she made sure that we knew she did not care about me and the other lady both temporary employees even though we're likely to be hired she would not stop talking about how she's single and men were hitting on her in all the countries she had visited on her vacation she constantly talked about how she's trying to lose weight but kept eating the fattiest crap I've seen all while complaining about America's eating habits she took over our marketing manager's office for the week because she was too lonely in the back area sorry the graphic designer and I are busy working she would not shut the Frick up about shopping she did not understand that I do not have extra money to spend she cooked horrible smelling fish in a microwave then proceeded to burn some popcorn later she kept stealing all my soft Kleenex as I brought from home she canceled our work Halloween party good lord was she unpleasant when I was in the Air Force there were plenty of these types of people but there was one legend who will outlive them all let's call him Vick Vick was in his late 30s maybe balding overweight annoying and generally the worsen Co noncommissioned officer the US Air Force ever saw here's a list of his accomplishments Vick routinely practice terrible weapon discipline would constantly have his weapon pointed at you he couldn't even clear his weapon to enter the chow hall and arene had to do it for him I had never been so embarrassed to be an airman in all my service Vik somehow came back to the site with junk every single day we have no idea where he found it or what half of it was he once brought back a gigantic Donkey Kong looking hammer no explanation for its intended use another time he came back with a belt of ammunition that he had found on the road yeah sure you know it's a war zone people get blown up every day by improvised explosives on the side of the road just go pick something like that up Vic would argue with you about where your hometown is located geographically Vic was responsible on more than one occasion for complete mission failure the specifics I can't quite divulge but rest assured he was brilliantly stupid Vic could barely speak or write English he was born in Florida his ancestors came to this country a couple hundred years ago Vic dropped a tea wall giant concrete wall on a tent with a front loader almost killed someone Vic wore my uniform top back to his barracks then later denied the whole thing Vic was fired from his position twice on two separate deployments saw him a year later he had been promoted this Liddy at my office has freakishly good hearing and preemptively does weirdly helpful things for people like yesterday an intern asked one of our agents for the agents code our office is at the other end of the suite did she somehow hurt wrote down each agent and their code on a post-it and brought it to the interns desk if she overhears someone speaking with service ops about a specific form she'll quietly email them a copy little things like that people think it's super creepy I only know this because it's me and I just overheard my co-workers talking about how weird I am my boss leaves notes at my desk for me every so often ranging from you look good today to my frickin hate you in my personal favorite he once wrote love you on a sheet on my desk then went to my co-workers cube next to mine and I could hear him writing something when he left the coworker and I both asked what had he write on your desk and showed each other simultaneously he said you not so much oh man let me tell you about H where to begin one it's holiday party time and the ice is all frozen into one big chunk not to worry though H is on it here's a rusty hammer borrowed from one of the foresters don't worry about using a dirty Hamill to break up something you're about to put in your drink a little iron oxide in your soda is good for the Constitution am i right - what's that you say a cake for someone's retirement how nice eight will cut himself a nice big slice then lick the frosting off a knife before putting it back with the cake yes we all saw you do that and yes we are going to wash the knife three heck yes another holiday party what is this item on the buffet will H like it better stick is fork in there to grab a piece to try while standing in line for Oh No age has a cold better go gurgle some water in the kitchen sink then spit it back out oops forgot to take the sponge everyone uses to clean their dishes out of the sink first oh well better just leave it in there it's all dirty now slep rings and two bags every day filled with his crap like a bag man notebooks clothes food toys junk he leaves little bits of paper around upon which little pieces of his little mind spill out like the third share from the window WTF does that even mean he writes Doctor Who fan fiction and we got to read someone's not good smiles and mumbles and never looks anyone in the eye I think he's gonna kill us all with some day try to be his best friend so he spares you I work with a guy who is creepy as Frick he's an engineer having gotten my degree in engineering I've met many like him the socially awkward type who just doesn't get it that he's being weird but he goes well beyond that he's a walking talking living breathing caricature he's overweight hunchbacks and stereotypically unattractive he even has a massive mole protruding on the side of his face he hits on inappropriately every woman in the office whether married or not he makes explicitly inappropriate sexual comments at the lunch room which is why almost no one eats lunch in the lunchroom anymore when I lost a ton of weight he went to great lengths to get my female co-workers to say in front of him that I looked hot hey you think name looks great after all that weight loss don't you he brings in prepackaged food opens it up puts his hands all over it then offers it to people even snack sized things rather than put a bunch of individually wrapped snacks in a bowl he'll open each one touch each one then put it in a bowl and offer it but he brings in bulk amounts of weird products like ketchup that are half empty where do you get 20 bottles of half empty ketchup and why would you think it's appropriate to hand those out to people you work with he looks in people's parked cars then comments on the items he sees inside he took a camera around the office and tried to take candid shots of the women for an unapproved company calendar he is a PR nightmare how he hasn't been fired or being the subject of a sexual harassment suit is beyond me he does not speak a word to me or look at me or talk to me because he crossed a line and got into serious crap with HR but the other women in my office still have to put up with him it's awful guy openly declared he took the job because he expected it been nothing but ugly fat women he obviously meant it because he couldn't work with any of the more attractive women in the office constantly told one that she was too pretty to be smart and then would switch it up by telling her how stupid she was constantly scoffed at anyone who offered him help and never hesitated to mention that he had a master's degree told me don't freakin argue with me around co-workers when I corrected him he was wrong had allowed booming voice in an office where voices carry and would stand in your office saying the most inappropriate things like I like to bang pregnant girls because they can't get pregnant became in one day after being a strip club all night and walking to work after his car broke down with a sunburn on one half of his body he did not hesitate to tell everyone what had happened a girl was stretching and had her arms extended out and he likely purposely walked crotch first right into her hand and proclaimed loudly stop touching my dog had some neurological issue which caused him to shake a bit not Parkinson's pretty regularly and would compound that by downing no less than five cups of coffee before 10:00 a.m. until he was a total mess updated service tickets with very helpful and professional comments like dropped in in your queue like it's hot and solved this problem like a boss when he was finally confronted about the list of transgressions he confided I'm surprised it took them so long to talk to me about it the guy who thinks he's serenading the the office that guy that is involved in a pyramid scheme but still works the same job as you and tells you about all the money you can make if I just have a brief 30 minutes conversation with him so why are you working here if you can make huge amount of money you have been visited by the bee of jazz like this video to have your ears filled with cool cool jazz if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people [Music]

Channel: Updoot

Views: 296,490

Rating: 4.7506461 out of 5

Keywords: work stories, reddit 1 hour, 1 hour, compilation, best jobs, best jobs in the world, worst jobs, worst job ever, #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, /r, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub

Id: cBOXw9kWHnI

Length: 84min 11sec (5051 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 30 2020