What's Your Deepest Darkest Secret? (1 Hour Reddit Compilation)

read it what is the worst secret you're so is keeping from you but that you actually know the first time my so and I slept together I woke up during the night to use a bathroom I came back in the room and she farted one of the loudest farts I've ever heard I started laughing like crazy and she almost woke up almost we've been together for seven years he lied about his last name age degree being in the military and being a sex offender I only figured out the lie about the degree and broke it off then started stalking me and I figured out everything else I don't know if he figured out that I know everything else we live in a relatively small town and a girl was about to meet up with him I warned her he is still lying about his age you're not 29 charlie you're 42 and Frick you X girl she had a fairly large scar on her back and was incredibly self-conscious about it she wouldn't even take her shirt off the first time we had intercourse when I asked her about it she said she had fallen from her horse when she was young fast forward a little and I'm out finding her a birthday present and have enlisted the help of her friend I pick out a hot singlet and her friend just looks at me like I'm stupid apparently the scar on her back which the singlet clearly revealed Wilson from a fall but an abusive ex-boyfriend who had pushed her onto his motorbikes exhaust pipe and burnt her we ended on good terms and I never told her I knew I hope she is doing well her Caesar salad dressing it's actually the best thing ever but even after two years she refuses to tell me what in it what she doesn't know is that I have secretly been watching her make it over the past few months I have finally pieced it together and now I have the power he claims he doesn't love the nuke at his parents adopted claims she always just sleeps in his room for some reason math F Riker loves that cat so much I know she ate those cookers my ex and the cheating she thinks I found out when I looked at her phone but I knew about two months earlier when she sent me a pic of herself watching Netflix in bed I don't think she realized that the dudes face was 100% visible reflected in the laptop after that it was a matter of me being in denial and trying to fix things everybody like snacks right some of us like chips others like fruit or yogurt well my wife likes croutons frozen croutons to be exact and she tries to hide it like an alcoholic hides bottles of vodka where does she hide the croutons in the freezer at first I'd put them in the pantry when we get home from the grocery store but they'd always end up in the freezer I'd be like a pawn what's up with the croutons and the freezer and she'd act like she had no idea what I was talking about now here's the thing I've tried them and now I'm addicted to them too so now I open lead cold croutons out of the freezer as a snack and she tells me what a weirdo I and while she eats half a bag with me no idea why she's embarrassed to admit what a genius she is for discovering such an awesome snack bTW the best kind is Chatham Village garlic and cheese flavour a girl I dated a few years back had just graduated with her bachelor's so I took her out for a night on the town her and our friends got absolutely demolished and since this was before uber I volunteered to be DD so around 2:00 a.m. she's tanks we head out and she wants Cristal burgers very adamant about that so I stopped by crystals and order a steamer pack so I can have some too and then have leftovers she eats somewhere around eight I get her home get her into her bed and she immediately passes out I am sitting next to her watching some TV when I smell something I noticed that she has just crapped herself she is one of those people who would be so ashamed of herself if anyone found out so I just left I called her the next day and told her I dropped her off got her some water and headed home never mention her crapping herself or anything so to this day she thinks she did it in her sleep after I left I could have stayed and helped her clean it up and I probably should have but she would have cried over that and avoided me sporadically for weeks I knew for a year and a half about my engagement ring and never told him until after he proposed he was not so good at hiding my wife dropped my iPhone in a porta potti toilet luckily it has been so used there was a large pile of crap which gently held the phone above the liquid she cleaned it off and gave it back to me a year later I upgraded and gave her my old phone she insisted on purchasing a new cover even though I had a high end OtterBox I never understood why until one of the kids told on her my ex made up a person and spoke to me as em we met when we were quite young and were both pretty weird I put it down to insecurity and wanting to look like she had cool friends I was a little older I never let on that I knew because it would have been super embarrassing for her and this was literally the start of the relationship she made lot quite a few stories about this guy and I got a few emails from him she didn't realize that changing the name of the account didn't actually change the address which was fully visible she smokes when I'm not home I know this because I always move the router to the window where the signals burst when I come home the router is in a different position away from the window I put it back without her knowing and call her out for smoking she has no idea how I keep finding out I'm his first girlfriend he's 42 is a fir I knew for three weeks before he left to look after his allegedly sick dad and for two weeks after before I told him I knew he said last week he's ended it and sees what he has missed but I know he's still sleeping and living with her whilst messaging me basically what he just did to me I'm his wife we were together 12 years he just can't stop lying he may be genuinely remorseful right now but I can't get past his deceit my ex peed the bed he didn't know that I knew you're in big trouble mister I know she looks at my ridet she waits until I sleep to steal my pillows he hides chocolate bars in his work bag bastard she is breaking up with me tomorrow said she wants to talk and it's not something we can talk about in texts we are on the verge of a breakup for like two months now feels bad my soon-to-be ex-wife met another guy about a year and a half ago she was so bad at hiding at that I thought she wanted to get caught posting romantic stuff on her Instagram when we hadn't been romantic in a long time confronted her light even with solid evidence a few months later stuff starts disappearing from the house pretty obvious that she's moving out then we started to have no money every month and I have a pretty okay job realized she was stealing money basically by paying her bills twice a month with free 4x the minimum payment and not paying mine let it go on for a bit and finally confronted her she doesn't admit to it I finally just pulled my check from our joint account and she says she's leaving but is going to be homeless the next day she had changed her facebook back to her maiden name and had a picture of her and the other guy at their new place I don't know if this counts I am not sure what events led up to it but he pooped the bed I am guessing he trusted a fart he shouldn't have that it happened he didn't hide it very well he just put the sheets in the washing machine but didn't start it so I smelled it he claims the dog sharted but the box says he attempted to hide pretty haphazardly I might add in the trash tell a different story I have attempted to bring it up but I don't want to break the illusion he has of himself being the James Bond of bed crapping before my ex-wife and I had first split up I had found out she was hiding a storage unit with an entire apartment set aside in it just in case the breakup went bad she worked graveyard and I was using her laptop while watching The Walking Dead to use the story sink and because she uses all that'll products her iMessage was tied to her MacBook I don't normally read her messages but considering the amount of notifications that were chiming in I could tell she was having a rather lengthy conversation I opened it and started reading and it turns out she had sent a picture message of a fully packed storage units to her best friend out in South Carolina it had furniture appliances essentially everything she needed to start out with an apartment on her own I sat on that for several months before finally bringing it up out of nowhere we were literally sitting on the couch one night and I just turned to her and said so I know about your storage unit she about crap a brick it was the last thing she ever expected to hear because she thought she was being sneaky conversation actually went quite well though and we ended up deciding that we were going to file for divorce that divorce just finalized the 3rd of March of this year my wife wouldn't let me touch her head well while we were dating she wouldn't let me touch her head or play with her hair for the longest time she avoided it her mom asked didn't I know about her condition I said no and she told me I may find out one day anyway she my GF wife invited me to stay the night one night and of course I was all about it as we laid there I pulled her to me and ran my fingers through her hair she didn't fight and didn't say anything but I could feel her scars and how her skull had healed I felt her tears rolling down my forearm I told her no matter any scar or anything else I was never going to let her go because I swore in that moment I would take care of her for the rest of my life we dated about six months and have been married for 10 years brain surgery and seizures never stopped me from being the best man and friend I can be for her I've always been her second option was a prostitute and was in some adult films and worked as an exotic dancer when young and hungry retired bought a food truck I love the coffee and grilled cheese sandwiches fell in love doesn't think I know doesn't know I don't care I'll never tell he spent a ton of money on Bruins tickets this year whenever he got tickets to a match he claimed he got them for free through work or downplease the cost but I know he paid for them I don't really mind since he can spend his money how he wants but it's funny to me that he thinks I wouldn't realize he's spending a few hundred bucks every time he goes to a game she flushes how tampons down the toilet which clogs it every so often blames it on big turds she flicked my boss before we knew each other before I had been hired into the company I'm not mad about it or anything everyone has a past but she carefully dances around ever coming into my work now and I'm careful not to bring him up he gets off to pictures on Facebook of girls we know we were long-distance when we first started dating the one time she came up to where I lived for four days but I had to work during one of the days when I was gone she had to take a dump and clog the toilet she couldn't get it to plunge and was freaking out so she went to the kitchen and got a fork and a plastic bag and dug the turds out of the bowl and threw everything in the dumpster out back she called her friend panicking and a friend thought it was hilarious friend told me about it one night when the girl had left the room after we moved in together I find it funny but don't want to embarrass her her ex is in town and she is secretly meeting him behind my back I know this because her location is always shared with me due to her habit of forgetting where her phone is this is in the past but still a good one ended up finding out that my no ex girlfriend was cheating on me after hearing one of my parents pick up oh god yes Jim in a rather scratchy sensual voice turns out they've been freaking where I keep him while I went to work dumped her but the next time I saw her and told her it was an ex of mine sometime into the relationship I find out I'm just begun she's using to cheat on the other dude who she has been dating before me it crushed me cause she was the first girl I really loved and did absolutely everything and anything for her kept the relationship going without letting her know and then tipped off the other dude and confronted her and broke up with her on the same day that dude broke up she deserved it but I never really fully moved on it's been years and haven't had a relationship after that my so is a veteran and very stereotypically manly he doesn't talk about his personal life with friends and he's pretty quiet in general this is a southern traditional dude who opens every door for every person he calls every person older than him mom answer anyway he has a lot of friends who are also this way and they often tease any man who says nice things about their women his friend spilled the beans though that one night right after I met him they all got crazy drunk and he told all of them I was the love of his life and we were going to get married one day they all tease him and were playing around when this one dude he doesn't know very well told him I had nice tea he clocked him he made such a commotion he's not allowed back in the bar after his friend told me this story I realized I had asked to go to that bar a couple of weeks ago and he had made some excuse about the drinks being overpriced I will never tell him I know but if he asks me I'll marry him she deliberately told me she had never slept with a mutual friend of mine the fact that she deliberately brought this up at literally a complete random time was suspicious enough and I then saw a Facebook message from him one day because she was logged in on my phone it said remember when we did things more than just things friends do was I good she has no idea I wouldn't care except for the fact that she out of nowhere told me she had never done anything sexual with him while I went one I wouldn't even be upset - I never even freaking asked or brought i.t up when he's about to fall asleep he's completely honest it was about seven months in when he grabbed me and whispered into my ear you're gonna be the mother of my children I told him and he was thoroughly embarrassed and I apologized however I neglected to tell him that pretty much every night he will tell me that he loved me starting a month in I don't mind and I'm not trying to rush things and neither of us have any plans to jump into that sort of stuff right away that it's nice to know she has no idea that I know about her multiple imaginary friends also she has this crazy notion that the computer programs she writes have become sentient I am considering contacting a therapist she says she loves me but really she's just using me to not feel lonely at night once I go to bed he binge watch his Gossip Girl xoxo okay so I found out my fiancee was wanting to ask me to marry him but wanted to get a super expensive ring for me so it was taking time to save up I don't give a crap about that type of thing I'd marry him without a ring that's not what's important to me so I went to his mom and told her what I knew and she told me we should go look at rings together so maybe I could pick something less expensive so she could tell him we had been shopping and I had fallen in love with a ring that he could afford I know I'm sneaky anyway I found an incredible ring that was normally $500 but on sale for $100 I bought the ring and she called him and told him what she did he was so happy he asked me to marry him on Christmas Eve and it was by far one of the best days of my life he has no clue that I was involved in the purchase so he's keeping the secret that he doesn't know that I know she is hiding baseball tickets for when my favorite team comes into town she is waiting to give them to me on my birthday when I was in Afghanistan I wanted to use the money I made to buy a motorcycle combat pay is better than regular pay I didn't have a car though and I was getting out of the Marines in eight months and moving back to the Midwest where it is not at all practical to only have a motorcycle I bought a car instead flash-forward two years later I meet my girlfriend and her one-year-old son at the end of an ugly marriage and we begin a relationship two years from that point we begin living together throughout all this time I've still been wanting to save for a motorcycle but we needed to focus our money on more practical things she needed a new car we needed to pay for childcare etc I put my ones on hold to address our needs she's known about my wanting a motorcycle for as long as she's known me and finally she approved me to spend up to $1,500 on a bike if I could find one I found one for $2,000 on Craigslist and it turned out the guy selling it was a friend from an old job I had as a security guard he was a good friend and agreed to give me a friend price at 1500 I went home and told my girlfriend and she said that's great we'll get it if it's the one you want she then found the Craigslist ad I showed her pictures contacted my friend and schemed to buy it out from under me for the full asking price of $2,000 but for a while I was bummed because I didn't know anything other than that my friend had another buyer willing to pay the full asking price I told him I was just glad that my girlfriend was going to let me buy one and he responded with yeah you're lucky GFS name here sounds like a real keeper the thing is he had never met her and I had never mentioned her name to him so I had my suspicions I played along and continued searching for bikes but never being satisfied with them always saying my friend's bike was a way better deal and that I thought I could do better my birthday came around she blindfolded me and drove me over to his house she even went out and bought about a place on it so there would have no confusion it was a present for me I let on that I had a few suspicions because he immediately found another buyer after I told her about it a little later on but maintained that I was blown away by the surprise she is definitely a keeper back when I was first starting to make my artwork public I had a Kickstarter campaign to fund a tour I had just started dating my soul but he gave a relatively significant amount of money anonymously he tripped up in selecting his backers reward an original piece mailed to his house when I saw the address I definitely didn't suspect his run mates were just super supportive of my art combination of her drinking and her cheating I can tell by her behavior and the look in her eyes the second she drinks saw texts from another guy while she was passed out not really sure what to do this is a past tense secret but my GF at the time decided to surprise me by buying a holiday to Brussels for us over my 30th birthday I accidentally intercepted the hotel confirmation email so decided it was a good time to propose as I'd been considering it for about six months actual surprised when she tells me then when we're having dinner in the restaurant on the first night I get down on one knee and propose celebrating our three year wedding anniversary at the end of next month people who work for airlines what our secrets passengers don't know when flying overseas there are generally no systems tracking the movement of your aircraft for several thousand miles that is how they go missing people fake needing a wheelchair to gain boarding priority ten will just get on and only one person needs it getting off we call em miracle flights if you checked your dog there's about a 30% chance it's terrified before it even gets on the plane who knows how scared it gets during the actual flight backroom agents will usually try to comfort a scared animal but all we can really do is talk to it so if you write your pet's name on their carrier it usually helps a lot I've never seen a cat who was scared in the back room cats don't give a frak that there's a huge list of things that can be missing from the aircraft while still being allowed to fly true it's called a minimum equipment list now counter-intuitively it's a list of what can be broken on the aircraft while it still remains there worthy it should be noted that the operational limits of the aircraft are altered to respond to broken parts for instance if certain lights are broken the aircraft is restricted to daytime use you know how all the other arm rests can be raised except for the one next to the aisle turns out that one can be raised as well via a small button in a divot on the underside of the armrest useful if you want to spread out a bit more there's some flight attendants may tell you to put it back in place if you check a skateboard by just slapping a sticker on it it will get ridden or used as a dolly might check my skateboard just to entertain the baggage dudes paramedic here if you switch on your alarm lights on the ambulance while being on the inner field of the airport because well you just get there sometimes they will totally shut down all incoming and outgoing flights until they know exactly what's going on my buddy learned this the hard way needless to say people got mad at him I'm an outstation mechanic for multiple airlines I cover all flights and a major US city airport by myself where to start if your flight has a maintenance delay and there is no on station Mechanics for that carrier I get called if it's a quick fix I fix it if not we check to see if it can be deferred to get fixed later either way most of your delay is spent waiting on me to do all the paperwork to clear the aircraft or for me to finish the other seven calls I'm out on to get to your plane there is also constant pressure on both me and the pilots to clear fly aircrafts that have some fairly significant problems I have airlines try to get me to sell some pretty sketchy stuff to the pilots to get them to fly and avoid a costly delay I have no problems telling a pilot to call his controllers dispatches and tell them to freak off if I'm not comfortable with whatever concoction of deferral action I was asked to perform don't get me wrong the airlines would never willingly fly an unsafe aircraft but if there is say an engine vibration that is just right at a/c hair under the limit they will fly it if the oil is super low but servicing it will cause a delay service it at the next stop if the pilot encounters something at altitude that I can't duplicate on the ground sign it off and see if it happens again those are the ones I usually push back on depending what it is also if you have to get out of your seat so a mechanic can fix something don't be about it I get harassed all the time by passengers even though my sole purpose is to get them in the air besides I tailgate agents all the time not to load packs until I get out there but they never listen so go be it then not a secret just common sense the reason some bags miss their flight will get miss route it is because passengers don't remove old tags it confuses handlers as well as the conveyor belt scanners I see it happen all the time I used to work for warehouse that supplied a certain airline with items the headsets that are given to you are not new despite being wrapped up they are taken off the flight cleaned and then packaged again flight attendants have a list of who is who and what seat they are in as well as what level of frequent fly they happen to be or if they are employees or family and friends tickets this is why you will see them being rude to someone or bending over backwards for jerks flights are routinely overbooked because as our estimate per route of what percentage of people tend to miss the flight so if you don't have a seat assignment you might not get on which is why they ask for volunteers if you are a frequent flyer and know the busy times and flights you could volunteer all day from every flight going to a hub and make $1000 in credit invest in quality luggage you are the only one that handles your bag with care your bag is going to take a beating in the system employees and their families get Sid tickets it is for industry discounts which means they only pay taxes and season nothing for the actual ticket the airlines basically lets them fly for free and not just with their own airline but with every airline in any alliance the tickets are standby tickets so you're not guaranteed to get on board but you get a seat more often than not the family members can travel on these tickets without the employee my dad worked for an airline in Star Alliance so I used to get free tickets with Airlines in one world and sky team as well as Star Alliance I usually traveled in business class all around the world a return trip between Europe and Japan was something like 200 US dollars in business class and maybe fifty US dollars in economy I don't get any perks anymore as it was only valid until I turned 25 sometimes your pilot can be on food stamps because they only make 19 K baggage handlers see hundreds of bags a day no bag is treated special unless it is obvious even then depending on the person sometimes they are not which is rare bags are not intentionally harmed they are however intentionally thrown slid jostled stacked under hundreds of pounds of other bags and exposed to the elements because that is the nature of the job you can safely assume that your bag is touched and handled by at least seven eight people per flight segment if you are connecting at least ten different people not including SAR sometimes the vehicle that fills the potable water for washing hands and making coffee is parked next to the vehicle that is used to dump the [ __ ] and fill the blue juice for the lamps they're not supposed to sometimes they're parked at a distance from each other which is policy yet the guy who is filling the water is using gloves that he hasn't changed in over two years the most power you could probably wield is Twitter the employee in front of you has so little power to actually remedy tough situations baggage handlers are usually short-staffed as well customer service agents are usually limited in their options also it would help us get a message to higher-ups because our work is not being supported as it should be tech I'd even recommend asking an employee about the problem and say something like if I were to take my complaint to Twitter how could I phrase it in a way that would help you to you get more customer protections buying directly from the airline all those third-party travel sites are owned by the same company and you lose a lot of the right afforded to you in the airlines contract odd carriage if you're nice to people they'll be nice back to you when the drink card is coming through you can ask for a full can of pop instead of the tiny little cup filled with mostly ice not particularly a secret but one time I was upgraded to business class on a plane that was delayed for maintenance just settling into my middle row I'll seat up at the movie screen bulkhead when a hatch in the floor of the cabin right at my feet flipped open and the maintenance engineer Klein he had a clipboard of paperwork for the pilots to sign then climbed back into his hole tipping his hat to the passengers before closing the hatch over his head if you look for it you can see a recessed pull ring in the cabin floor in front of the first row seats behind cockpit I work revenue management for an airline on average the cheapest time to buy our ticket is Tuesday afternoon the cheapest time to fly is Tuesday Wednesday or Saturday this applies to US flights in my experience aerospace fastener production here nobody there asks what is actually holding claim together don't worry about it the coffee is absolutely disgusting because no one washes the container that goes out every morning the station agents who get paid way too little didn't give a crap about cleaning it I certainly didn't when I worked for AAA also because we weren't given the proper supplies to clean it we pretty much just rinsed it out and dumped coffee into it be nice to the ticket agent and they will pretty much always let you get away with overweight bags if you were funny I'd even not charge you for bags My partner worked for Delta for about four years as one of the guys who loads and unloads your luggage and waves wants nothing is safe in those bags they pop open all the time and your crap just gets haphazardly shoved back in they get tossed around like volleyballs so is a lie a lot of decisions about boarding or switching flights X are its employees discretion worked on military aircraft but it's something I've noticed pretty Universal about jet engines in general you have your auxiliary engine that runs while the aircraft is parked providing power hydraulics a/c et Cie while you're at the terminal when getting ready to depart you turn on your main engines it takes a lot of power to get them started as such most of the auxiliary power goes to starting the engines this is the point where usually you may see the lights flicker and you will hear the whine of the main engine start up the environmental control unit or whatever they want to call it stop cycling air during this start sequence without fail if you watch for it numerous hands will stick up and check or adjust the air-conditioning vents as this happens the air will kick back on when the engines are up and running as shown in some movies like executive decision and passenger 57 there is a secret hatch on every plane that allows people to travel freely throughout the aircraft also Wade Boggs once drank 50 beers on a cross-country flight and then absolutely destroyed the Seattle Mariners the next day worked at multiple Airport as a consultant in this is common that almost all I've worked at mechanics loved to take their coffee breaks right behind the security checkpoint this is where you will see women in a rush with their outer most gum and softened bending over to put their shoes back on the jackpots your passengers that didn't know a sweater or hoodie they are wearing had to come off until they are told to remove it by that saw so they have very little underneath I wasn't part of this so don't downvote me just telling the tales of the trade not an airport I worked at a theme park in Florida there was a water ride where ladies would often get their blouses splashed with water there was a bridge over a part of the ride where you could look straight down as the riders went by it was a very popular place for male employees to stop and look over the rail of the bridge for a few minutes nurses offered it despite being ranked the most trusted profession for 15 years in a row what are the dirty secrets you will never tell your patients I have strep throat but I'll get written up if I call in more than three days in a row sorry about your grandma and her surprised immune system seriously it seems like of all places hospitals would know the importance of keeping contagious people at home not a dirty secret padang you really should be aware that when you are a dong to us your doctor is aware I have worked for doctors who would fire a patient from the clinic for being offensive to the nursing staff front desk staff we recently had a patient arrested for making threats to our operators threatened to come down and chop their heads off I would much rather be doing the dressing changes in bathing mine capacitated sweet patient next door then getting you coffee and your sixth ice cream of the morning you non-compliant dump her things I've dreamed of telling people most recent being yesterday I felt horrible when I was in hospital with a fractured leg I couldn't even go to the toilet on my own for the first week or so and I once had to call a nurse because I dropped my phone charger and just couldn't reach for it I'm sorry Sarah I worked as a director of Nursing and also as a nursing case manager patients are often looked at as nothing more than currency in the world of Healthcare Administration patients are regularly discharged from hospitals prematurely due to concerns of the cost of care else Hymas patients never sleep and are sneakier than a five-year-old trying to get a look at Santa on Christmas Eve we had a sweet little old Italian lady who was perfectly aware if a little forgetful during the day that night she barricaded her room's door with all the chairs she could find and called 9-1-1 because she could see people walking around in her house sundowning is a heck of a thing this is a recent one that's some days for me it's when I'm sick we can only call out two times and six months I do not feel like taking care of you and I would rather sit at the nurse's station and not do nothing but I know that you need me knowing that you need me as the only thing that brings me to your room to answer your call bell for the millionth time it's weird that it's illegal in many places to work with food while sick but not to work in a hospital with patients my wife's a nurse during the night shift she'd talk about how the nurses going and finding empty rooms and taking extended naps in shifts it up her since she has a solid work ethic but she isn't the kind to speak up this happens a lot more than you think at the hospital in my town a lot of nurses will sleep during the night shift because there are just not many patients coming in order to take care of so they just sleep until they're needed for the last few years it is more important to make patients happy instead of using our skills and knowledge to help make you feel better this is dangerous and our job is to heal not to heal we have way more patients than just you that means while you're pushing your call bell for the 100th time wanting something menial we have other patients actively dying we hate that week answer in a timely fashion but we have to prioritize I'll run to the patient that is coding before I'll taking your tenth pack of graham crackers also we aren't being mean when we make you take part in your own health care if your drug seeker we fill your IV with saline when you think it's morphine just to watch you be stupid and act like you're high when you're really errant we are tired we are overworked we have constant changes and new rules we are overwhelmed just be patient and be understanding there's a whole lot more going on than you can ever see also end-of-life care if you are actively dying usually there is an order for morphine and ativan that we use to calm your respirations and ease your pain almost every nurse I know has given it as often as possible to help you ease into death this isn't especially a bad thing my grandpa went for having one year to live to six months two days in the span of a week he had end-of-life care and the doctors and nurses were amazing but mostly the nurses but they kept checking up on us the family and making sure he didn't feel anything as he died I know my mom appreciated it so thank you from the families you helped sister is a nurse who has had surgery for a torn rotator cuff three times fusion on her cervical vertebrae and more sprains and pulls on her lower back than I can count she's in freakishly good shape but lifting turning and assisting obese patients is crippling her fat is shifty and unpredictable when a patient is in pain and or under the influence of pain meds I was visiting when an obese friend was recovering from gallbladder surgery and watched as he swung one tree trunk sized leg over the side of the bed to stand up and the rest of his bulk followed like a mudslide sis ran over and caught him and rolled the whole Sleepy beast back onto the bed a bad fall could have really set back his recovery I heard a bone crunching sound as her back bent under his weight how big secret is she has been ordered to get the lift an awkward and bulky sling crane for any patent over a certain BMI to avoid further injuries most of her patients complain that she's deliberately humiliating them by holding out the crane each time they must be walked or the linens changed but there is no safe way for most health care workers to habitually muscle around obese patients I feel like the lift should be used for everyone regardless of size even if you're lifting just average-sized adults doing that over and over daily cannot be good for your body it also seems like a lift would be safer overall from the husband of a nurse they shrink up and if at all possible if nothing bad happens they hide it and crappy patients care the bare minimum won't get me written up care if you're dying because I hurt so bad and tell me your pain level is at a 10 yet you're on your phone laughing at something on FB yeah I'm not too sympathetic you'll get your pain meds but it's gonna be a few extra minutes and if I've got someone on the floor because their blood sugar dropped in the 30s you're gonna wait a little longer and don't even think about giving me a lecture on how to do my job I am your nurse I'm here to take care of your ass not to kiss it I am NOT your slave I'm not your personal servant I'm sure as heck not your maid and don't tell me how your kid or your mom or your sister or best friend is a nurse and they do things different I do my job the way I was trained to do it I've got 35 to 40 residents on any given night it's just me I love my job and I love my residents the dammit sometimes I wanna scream I'm here to take care of your ass not to kiss it this is great not really a dirty secret but when you're naked in front of medical personnel we don't care that you're naked and literally four seconds after you're clothed or no longer in our presence whichever happens first we've forgotten what you look like naked you only remember what people look like naked because you've seen a small number of naked people we see naked people all the time and yet whatever that's a penis those reboots look an anus stretch marks fat folds whatever I'm a male veterinary nurse the amount of punches I have nearly thrown due to being told why are you a nurse your man or why aren't you a vet or you're just in US etcetera but it's fine carry on and undermine me I'll just be here with a crab eating grin as I charge you extortionate amounts for drugs to treat your dogs stupid ailments that could easily have been prevented have you not fed it fried toast and sausages from the dinner table my dog is a part of my soul if you're taking care of her you're my hero but clamps nurse on my brother and thank you for dedicating your life to the lives of our critters in many areas of the US thanks to brutal cost-cutting measures chances are your nurses on some level are worried about hurting or having a patient injury collector DTC for simple lack of time but they have to check orders safely give medications provide other treatments like wound care admit and discharge patients make short tests and other exams get done bathe feed ambulant patients monitor and assess your condition and communicate with you your family doctors CNAs and all the other tasks to get done - then do endless charting on each and everything for between four seven or heck more if someone cooled off for your facility sucks patients on a Med sir floor lots of times they barely have a chance to pee grab a snack much less a meal or an actual break this s is over a 12 plus hours shift even with CNAs and other ancillary staff there's just not enough time in the day the CNAs are just as understaffed as the RNs but they risk jetan written up because of patient [ __ ] that it took 15 minutes to get fresh ice water with the amount of money hospitals charge for care they absolutely have no justifiable reason to be demanding so much of nurses for so little pay I was in the hospital for three days of rotating nurses and all I can say is that you are at the mercy of that person everyone is very very different in terms of attitude and service it's like Russian roulette we never believe how much alcohol you tell us you drink whatever amount you say we double that and report to each other the suspected amount my mother has been a nurse for 25 years and has always worked hard it breaks my heart that she often doesn't take a break even to eat during her 12 hours shift because she doesn't have time her Hospital is understaffed and overstressed and she is the floor manager I am not sure if that is a correct title and must help out the new nurses in addition to doing all her own work she must also find a replacement if a nurse calls in sick she does not get paid a higher salary for doing this extra work it doesn't help that she struggles to keep up with the new charting systems I know she has not technologically savvy and I worry for her she often came home an hour after her shift ends because she had to finish stuff up she does it off the clock that has been written up for being too slow with it she is so exhausted mentally and physically all the time I just wish as she grows older she could have a cushy R job experience the stories of incompetence indifference and neglect off both patients and the nursing staff that I had just make me sad and most is caused by administration decisions and budget cuts the nurses are the ones who get freaked over the most be kind to them you need to let your 87 year old grandma die she 110 pounds and just went through a third round of chemo her quality of life is a1 and until you sign a DNR were going to resuscitate her when she codes breaking about ten ribs in the process she can't legally make decisions because of her dementia but she's ready to end the pain and die dying is the natural end straighten out our affairs say your good-byes and pull the plug not in us but a security officer in a hospital sweet Jesus and nurses perverted and freaky I swear it's an act of God I don't bust a zipper from them talking about their sexcapades what you are experiencing is a bunch of women who feel comfortable about talking about stuff like that because they are with a bunch of women it happens anywhere that either sex is the overwhelming majority present they aren't any kinkier than anybody else you should hear housewives consistently feeling belittled or disrespected from every angle patience their family and the health care providers Doc's made me leave the bedside as quickly as I could in advance my education your baby is not cute it looks like a skinned rabbit and no that's not such a great name it is either God or for the 10th baby with that name this week if you and your family are nice to me I will go above and beyond to make sure that you're comfortable and I will do whatever extra I can to help you however if you're rude to me or your family becomes verbally abusive or aggressive I will keep you alive and I won't do anything nice or extra for you I'm not neglectful but I certainly won't want to go in your room any more than necessary also sometimes I would love to just be honest with some family members who are aggressive and just be like listen we are on the same team here you want them to get better I want them to get better too I spent lots of money in four years of my life to even get licensed to do this I want to take care of your loved one and make sure they go home with the best quality of life please stop fighting me and the rest of the medical team like we are on opposite sides of this issue we all want the same thing dang IT we and the MDS are not legally obligated to disclose a med error unless you ask a lot of the time I think the doctor taking care of you or another nurse or the PA is absolute crap they don't know what they are doing they have bad outcomes and they are too arrogance to work on fixing what needs to be fixed some of them are distracted because they are having affairs with multiple co-workers some of them are alcoholics or are abusing prescription medications while at work but I can't say that to patients in fact a few years ago the hospital instituted a new policy requiring nurses and other staff to say positive things about their patients of a caregivers so I will find something relatively honest and seemingly reassuring to say to patients which improves satisfaction scores and reimbursement but it's just short of a lie about half the time don't worry mr. Smith your doctor has great hair and has very good taste in shoes he isn't very drunk during the day worked in CV ICU for six years can't tell you how many patients would come to the or call an ambulance because they were having a heart attack get a stent and stop their heart attack and then what nothing to do with anything else we ask them to do it stopped smoking Frick that eat healthier no freakin way lay flat for 2 hours so my femoral artery puncture site doesn't pop loose and I bleed to death Frick that I need to go get a cigarette it's really not something I would ever say but I thought to myself if you come to the hospital for help and then refuse to do what we ask then just stay the Frick home and die stop wasting our time and resources we could use on people who actually want to get better I've seen a nurse passing out photos she took during her own Achilles tendon surgery to her coworkers like they were Pokemon cards patient Falls are a huge issue in hospitals insurance the government doesn't reimburse hospitals for any injury or increased length of stay due to a fall the hospital simply eats the cost but so when you fall we get in trouble lots of paperwork meeting with our manager heck we can get written up or fired of it's a frequent occurrence I work on a neurosurgery unit which has a high risk for Falls because our patients have either had strokes brain surgery and are confused or impulsive or have spinal surgery and are on high doses of narcotics I've had three patients fall in my nursing career and all three times my initial response wasn't I hope they didn't get hurt it was are you freaking kidding me half rig now I'm gonna get in trouble what have you never told your best friend because you're afraid it may end the friendship I never told my friend that I know that her and her boyfriend used to steal food from my house her boyfriend at the time basically stole from everyone and was always getting fired from work for stealing from the till the bit that upsets me is that she knew full well that if she needed food I'd have given it to her she didn't need to steal the stuff she ditched that boyfriend which is why we're still friends and he doesn't steal from me pride does strange things to a person not excusing the behavior screwing friends over is very not okay just glad that she's improved at least since moving on from the primary influence that she's a disaster with money and she needs to stop spending and take a hard look at how she's freaking her future although she's got a solid pension coming but still she's had multiple bankruptcies multiple s mhm that she is impulsive irrational and does not make good decisions I love her and she's very fun to be around but it gets annoying and draining at times facing her eyebrows are too thin and I'm 99% sure if her husband isn't currently cheating on her he hasn't well again also her husband passed the alcoholic stage of problem drinking a long while back and it's starting to affect how her kids see him 0 to 100 chameleon is not pronounced Shar million number you call them right now and tell them that he gets too worked up about games and that's why I don't play with him very often great guy just don't play overwatch with him I think he's a lazy greasy freak whose main problem in life is that he holds himself back by being lazy and greasy great guy though Jesus Christ here did a good job selling him she is full of crap about her psychic powers she's way too clingy and needy when she finally cut ties with her mentally abusive ex I packed all of her things and loaded up a large haul to get her moved by myself she sat around the entire time crying repeating I can't do this while I did it it's been about two months and I just now found out that three weeks ago she started talking to a new man whom she is already telling she loves it will end badly I know it will and I just can't pick up the pieces again she literally becomes the most annoying person alive when she drinks her husband and I have made a team effort of watering down any drink she has just to avoid gatherings away one of us had to listen to her ramble you should tell her so she stops how her the night my best friend met is now wife of 18 years I met her about an hour before and she blow me in bathroom at the party we were all at I saw them making out an hour later after I went to buy cigarettes I never said a word and neither has she you could get him to blow you and ask if it tastes familiar I flicked his sister not sure if it had end the friendship but he'd be weirded out my best friend in HS told me that he'd fricked my sister I only questioned his taste in women I think her kids an idiot cute but an idiot don't we all I never told my friend that I found out it was him that broke into my place this occurred back in the 1970s when I was a kid my family and I lived in the second floor apartment of a two family apartment house our apartment was a strange one as in addition to our front door we had several other doors that led to different rooms to our apartment one day my mother myself brother and sister went out when we came back home all our doors were wide open we entered our apartment and our place was a mess all of our stuff was all over the place every room was a mess like a burglar who taught through our apartment tossing everything aside there was no forced entry we accidentally left one of our doors unlocked in spite of our stuff being tossed around nothing was broken we were dirt poor so we had nothing of value worth stealing the most expensive thing we owned in our place was our 25 inch color TV in a wooden console but that was way too big and heavy to steal nothing in our place was stolen we called the cops who came over and made a report weeks later I was talking to another kid in the neighborhood who out of the blue told me how he and my best friend who lived a few houses up the block from me came calling on me when I wasn't home they discovered the unlocked door and as a prank were the ones who opened all the doors and went through our apartment messing it up tossing our things willy-nilly all over the place I never told my friend or anyone else that I found out that it was him that went into my place and messed it up but I was a little disappointed in him and he never came forward and confessed to me never said anything about it he never knew that I knew today that same kid is an internationally renowned classical pianist the only way to get back at him is to change the order of the keys on his piano had a bit of a crush on a chick okay more than a bit she was married so it was a hopeless infatuation who found out six months later they weren't married but engaged they told people that they were married for convenience I made friends with her husband he was a crap lord everyone even she knew it a couple of months later he and a few buddies beat the ever-loving crap out of a guy if she accused her husband but he vehemently denied it she knew there was bad blood in the group and demanded that he not get involved he told her he didn't she believed him I have an old old old email account running around it is useful for sending anonymous emails so I did I pointed out every person that was involved I sent it to her not because of her husband but because she was an executive in the company that they both work for it had the appearance of someone on the outside with a grievance with the company and no one in particular she confronted him he denied at first but then admitted to it they had a huge argument we're married now me and her not him she doesn't know I sent the email now that's the juicy story I came here for I feel like this could be a daytime drama so a long long time ago we were probably 1012 ish my sister and I were jealous of our neighbor having a pool party and we weren't invited so we found a dead squirrel in the street and we picked it up with a barbecue grill we found on the side of the road and put it on her front doorstep with a note saying this will be you we ran home and told our dad because we thought dad was cool turns out he totally knocked us out - mom mom flipped out and told us to go back and get rid of it so we came home and my mom had her person jacket on and told us to get in the car she told us a neighbor saw what we did and called the police and we had to go down to the station we were crying in the car and my mom drove us down the road then stopped she told us she made up the story about the police and it was a lesson never to do anything like that again we didn't we are still friends with our neighbor and we never told her about it that was almost 20 years ago I like the way your mom works they know my memory is bad but what I'd never tell them is that it's so bad I genuinely believe I'll suffer from dementia at a young age I forget key details and memories pertaining to the ones I love and I've honestly just become good at faking my way through conversations to try to seem like I'm a functional person you are a freakin idiot for jumping into this marriage and I knew from the very second that I heard you got married that she would abuse you both emotionally and physically first one than the other you were a desperate fricking idiot who would marry the first person who would promise to put out right now as I type this you are sitting in a jail cell because she threw your belongings on the floor and destroyed your computer this time when she started hitting you you defended yourself by pushing and you in a frickin jail cell because all you wanted was to get laid you are a fricking idiot now she is threatening to destroy my marriage and threatened to put any in jail because I tried to help you hire a divorce attorney but she isn't going to be able to because my fiance and I built our relationship on trust and love not on how am I going to get laid on the regular dot sorry this has been on my chest for the last few hours I hope everything works out for the best I never told her she saved me from killing myself last October I dropped raided his set of full rune and black G to myself in third grade non members you monster we're not that close off friends anymore but I hooked up a few times with a friend's mom I was 22 at the time my friend was 18 or 19 and his mom was in her late 30s she got drunk one night while I was over hanging out and after everyone else crashed she came over and started flirting with me we only hooked up four or five times but it was amazing and now I've been into older women ever since pretty sure he'd at least punched me in the joy if he ever found out just make I freak your mum insults whenever convenient that way you can always claim you told him several times should he ever accuse you of such this may not ruin the friendship but would make it extremely awkward in high school I needed my friends backup phone to film a school project so he gave it to me and I took it home the upload and edit the video and for some reason that I cannot explain I decided to take some pictures of myself using his phone and being a teenage boy the pictures may not have been completely appropriate so the next day he tells me that but he saw the video I recorded for the project he said he saw it on iCloud or whatever it is he didn't mention if he saw the other pictures I took later but I'm fairly sure he did so I guess in this case he's the one who isn't telling me something maybe him bringing up seeing the video was his way as letting you know I never straight-out told him that he's becoming just like his dad was a union worker got in a fight was kicked out of the Union and never bothered getting another job basically his mom had three helpless men my friend brother and dad sucking the life out of this poor woman they don't clean up the house my friend wasn't doing his own laundry and was over 18 dropped out of college even though due to his family's financial situation the Pell grant would have covered almost everything I moved to another state to get residency and get a cheaper quality education I pleaded with him to come move down and get into school I had a place for him to stay and could have gotten him a job he said no every time we haven't spoken in five years last time I checked he still works at his mom's cleaning company as a janitor that I wrote erotic slash fiction about us online only somewhat apply it with my last best friend it was telling him that I had feelings for him but not friends anymore I regret ever having those feelings don't regret feeling not feeling his way worse you took a chance it didn't work out crap happens keep your chin up and try again when you're ready it's okay to be sad about it but don't let sadness rule your life I was staying at my friend's house who are a couple one morning I woke up early because I always do the door to their bathroom area was opened more than usual because of a cat my female friend walks out naked and I just watched as she went to the bathroom to shower I know I should have looked away or shut the door earlier but I was too mesmerised seen her naked and couldn't didn't want to move I'm still close friends with both of them and don't have the heart to tell them username most definitely checks out I flicked his little sister in high school he considers himself to be more enlightened than others but turns into watered-down version of himself whenever he's in a relationship if this newest B is the worst yet she's convinced him to go off of his depression meds stop going to therapy and withdraw from his friends we used to see each other multiple times a week I understand that relationships change your priorities but he doesn't even text me anymore and when I hit him up he's always busy because she has him on a schedule dude we've been best friends since high school this is bull every time I've tried to talk about it he either gets defensive or admits there needs to be a change but then nothing happens grumble I have the biggest crush on her and it's driving me crazy I'm in the exact opposite situation my friend has a crush on me and she has no idea that I know I don't want him to know I still have a crush on him the only reason we're so close is because I was attracted to him when we met and tried to flirt which turned into friendship when he told me he wasn't single he seems to think I got over the stupid crush a while ago but it's always been there even when I've had brief things with other people he's a very understanding person but I think this might be a little too much my bf has a friend like this she clearly has feelings for him and is not up front about it and to be honest it's terrible it's the only issue my bf and I argue about and it's something that hurts all three of us I won't tell you what to do just telling you how the other side may feel that the girl he hooked up with at his 27 birthday party was an escort we hired so he would stop complaining about being a virgin I ended up telling him and it was one of the hardest days of my life when we were in high school I had a close friend that I introduced him to they hit it off and started dating for about a year and it was all going well until he left for college and their relationship started getting strained and they ended up breaking up I wasn't planning on going to college right away and ended up working at bored is saving up money all of my friends were off at college making new friends and I felt really lonely she and I were still friends and hanging out it ended up becoming more than that and she and I started dating in secret it was a long time before I worked up the courage to tell him that I was dating her the day I did I made sure we had an awesome day before in case he hated me for it and didn't want to talk to me after at least that way I had the memory of a great day with my friend he ended up being okay with it and was glad that I told him instead of him finding out some other way she and I only lasted about a year and half but me and him are still best friends to this day she isn't just unlucky in that she keeps choosing crappy men as partners it's her own bad choices she's one of the best people I know big heart timed I was even run mates with her and her past guy she dated and I saw their relationship up close and she was a great girlfriend she isn't one of those people who secretly does crappy things to anger her partners I could practically hear every whisper in that place but he's also one of those suckers and falls over and over and over again full of bombing every new guy's perfect and then she's shocked when actually no he isn't because she made the judgment too soon and somehow didn't learn from the last position guys who also faked perfection while pushing to move too fast and she's a decade older than me at least she isn't so bad of a sucker as to stay with em once they show their colors she's able to break up when she realizes but it would save her a lot of heartache to start with more wisdom from day one I flicked her husband before he was a husband we weren't super close then my wife has a similar story but she drunkenly spilled the beans at the wedding rehearsal dinner that she's overweight vastly so because of her own dank fault she blames genetics stress and other things but it's because she's lazy and won't fix her health issues she's found a nurse practitioner who believes her crap and I hate it she also bear aids me for having lost most of my extra weight over 100 pounds due to a health issue I have zero control over and tells me I'm anorexic I won't tell her what to do with her health that I lost my virginity to his older sister and she was most of my firsts kiss seeing feeling boobs BJ freaking etc he would have been super peed that it was his sister and also that I lost my virginity so long before him and never told him she was cool we were just experimenting and were not interested in each other romantically but she was young frisky and pure ears we were discreet but I'm shocked that we never got caught and no one suspected a thing we were on a road trip and shared a room that a layover separate beds he thought I was asleep so he decided to jerk off it was kind of loud and I know he made a mess at the end because he said oh crap and went to the bathroom to clean up I wasn't asleep but I was mildly traumatized that I'm in love with him I'm female he's male for me the risk is far too great of our wonderful friendship never being the same again if he does not have such feelings for me would rather not risk it that I will report them to CPS if they ever take on another foster child they were so horrible to the one they had and it just broke my heart for him he was a toddler he didn't deserve to be hated for acting like a toddler that I have no interest in her constant thrilling accounts of being a stay-at-home mom I hate kids and think they're the most boring thing on earth I would never tell her that because I absolutely love her to pieces and I do love her kids I just don't think they're at all interesting plus it would just be rude after say that my life isn't all that interesting either so while I just smile and nod politely until I can steer the convo to more common ground your good friend that I fall asleep at least one night a week imagining stabbing him to death while we frake that would do it all right you've been spotted by the dojo of studying like this video for good grades for the next two years if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people [Music]

Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 122,924

Rating: 4.8048291 out of 5

Keywords: reddit 1 hour, 1 hour, compilation, secrets, secret, your secrets, secrets that you keep, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: GBQk8VBxe90

Length: 64min 51sec (3891 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 08 2020