1 Hour Of The Best Moment Lawyers Experienced In Court (Reddit Compilation)

lawyers offered it what was the best gotcha moment you ever experienced lady got into a minor fender bender with a truck in a casino parking lot she backed out of a spot into him my guy said she parked and went inside the casino for a few hours at her deposition she testified that she was so hurt she went right home into a hospital I asked if she was a frequent visitor off casino and if she had a rewards card she was happy to tell me she didn't she had gold status and showed me the card i subpoenaed her rewards cards records and it showed she was playing slots four hours after the accident my clients house burned down from an explosion in the fuel oil tank used to heat the house it was clearly the oil maintenance company's fault built his homeowners insurance from a very reputable company still refused to pay out citing a ridiculous technicality in his policy essentially the policy covered damage caused by the oil heater but they claimed that it was the storage tank that exploded and wasn't part of what was covered so they denied his claim which was about 1.2 million and then I get involved during a deposition with the claims adjuster I asked how she came to the conclusion that the storage tank was not a part or at least connected to the heater she states that she relied on her expert witness who was an engineer little did she know I had already checked this person's background he had zero engineering experience or education as most of you might know you don't get attorneys fees in most cases however when an insurance company denies your claim in bad faith now you do her little admission cost the company about 500k in fees on top of the original claim for 1.2 million and this is why so many people try to screw insurance companies because they are right they're trying to screw you too plaintiff had an x-ray of an allegedly broken arm it seemed off to me and the date didn't make sense I was in house at an academic Medical Center I looked at the case more closely and discovered the plaintiff was a x-ray tech at another hospital after that it was all over I was trying to get a restraining order for a woman and DV court from her son's father we are presenting testimony and she details a story where he grabbed her arm and slammed it on the top breaking her wrist on cross I asked the accused if he ever broke my clients wrist on purpose his response frankly I did she was nine months pregnant about to smoke crack and wouldn't stop I tried to grab her arm to get the pipe and protect my unborn son freaked me she left that detail out in her conversations with me you are bad guy but this does not mean you are bad guy I had a former client file for bankruptcy and in connection with that case brought an action against his landlord for violating the automatic stay in order to prove damages he wanted to show he paid my firm for legal fees in connection with the landlord's pursuit of rent and violation of the stay so this former clients bankruptcy lawyer serves me a subpoena to show up at the bankruptcy hearing he didn't ask me any questions prior but just gave me the gist of what the objective was that says verify with the court a time I spent and the cost to his client the bankruptcy attorney called his client my former client to the stand first he asked him questions related to his hiring my firm to do this and that as it related to his landlord apparently that's not enough the bankruptcy attorney wants me to verify these facts as well I get put on the stand and I'm asked to verify the invoice I first object to the question as a precaution since it may be a violation of attorney-client privilege to answer the question and to cover me for any claim by the bar or my former client as predicted the judge over rules and orders made to answer I review the invoice answer no this is not my invoice his attorney I don't understand this is your firm's logo and information right me yes his attorney and you provided these legal services right me number a very confused litter knee slowly started to put together after a couple more follow-up questions that this idiot client of ours had manufactured my invoice to prove his damages needless to say that I could have given his new attorney the heads-up but I wasn't going to help someone who had committed perjury to the court using my name I had represented him in a completely different matter and this guy was trying to make some extra cash through this bankruptcy hearing two lessons tell your attorney everything and as an attorney make sure your client feels comfortable to tell you everything cross-examining a custom homebuilder who had a lump-sum contract set price as opposed to cost plus which means cost of the materials plus ex percenters builder fee with the homeowner who claimed he put 20% more labor materials and building the home than the contracted provided for and he was suing for these excess costs was asking him about an email with my client negotiating the price of the construction and he volunteers that he knew he couldn't build it for that price my head snaps up supervising partners had snaps up and opposing counsel goes pale dialog was something like me you quoted ex price builder yes me you knew you couldn't build it for that price builder yes me you knew the homeowner was relying on that quote builder yes me you new homeowner wouldn't have signed a contract without that representation builder yes me and you told homeowners lender you could do it for ex builder yes me and Bank relied on that price and wouldn't have given loan if Nui was wrong builder yes this is textbook fraudulent inducement and he had no idea builder got pulled out in the arbitration award and slapped builder with sizable punitive damages on top of it five minutes of testimony sunk his case because he volunteered information without being prompted plaintiff alleged he was so injured in an auto accident that he couldn't work due any regular activities or pick up his young kids he then posted on his public FB profile him doing the ice bucket challenge if you're not familiar he basically lifted a huge cooler filled with ice water over his head attorney had no idea he had posted it once heard about a man who got a doctor to do him a report for his compo claim can't Bend can't let can't run et Cie problem was he had a paternity suit ongoing at the same time got the same doctor to write a report for that case no restrictions on mobility can pick up the kid play with him et Cie as you can guess he and the doctor got court perhaps not my best but it was recent and pretty good I represented a guy whose car died in the middle of the freeway at 4:00 a.m. he put his hazard lights and called 9-1-1 for help at the same time an LAPD cop heading to work around the same time in a police in marked car was driving around 87 92 miles per hour around a constructionist he doesn't see our guy strikes him and causes a major six car collision including overturning an 18-wheeler truck police arrive and take photos LAPD officer claimed our guy did not have his hazard lights on and he was only driving 60 miles per hour he was trying to put some of the fault on our guy at the deposition of the investigating officer she doesn't remember if our guys hazard lights were on or not an attorney bring photos from the scene one of the photos showed my guys hazard lights on we were dismissed shortly thereafter not so much your got sure as it is a defendant giving themselves up when I worked for insurance defense I handled a fraud case where a man reported his Rolex as being stolen he was adamant that he was at a hotel and it was stolen he has shown no proof fog being in a hotel so it's flagged we go through the whole process and finally reached depositions he gets sworn in and eventually let out that he wasn't at a hotel but rather with his mistress and he had left hid at her house his wife noticed he didn't have it on so he immediately claims it must have been stolen et Cie etc this man decided to hire an attorney and go through this whole circus just so his wife won't find out about his affair needless to say the claim was denied not a lawyer but when I was in the military I was accused of something I didn't do and I had to go to court over it and during court the prosecutor started to detail this investigation and how they had staked my apartment out for months they entered into evidence a picture of my apartment and when they put it up I looked shocked at my lawyer BC it wasn't a picture of my place it was my ex-wife's apartment a place I had never lived never even spent a single nightmare I lived in a house she lived in an apartment and when my lawyer was asked if she objected to the picture being entered into evidence she replied I don't mind them entering it into evidence as long as they change the listing of it and when one of the members of the panel no judge three member board asked what was wrong with the listing she looked at him and said that's not his apartment on top of this the witness they used against me described going to my house on the night in question and she named the subdivision where she had visited me except that wasn't where I lived Ivor also wasn't where the picture they had was either a case was dismissed and I was told they requested the witness to return to answer questions about perjury you know I lived with a guy when we were in our early 20s he worked for one of those crappy furniture rental places where people without money get furniture much of his job was repossessing furniture and in his spare time he was a skateboarder he severely hurt his back on the job and they were contesting paying his bills and settling at one of his mediation dates the revealed they had hired a private investigator to follow him they showed him pictures of himself at a skate park skating when he was supposed to be home recovering they asked him to verify it was him he said no these defuses had somehow missed that he had a twin brother that also skated they eventually settled for what I thought was a very low 70k he had back pain for years that caused him to gain weight and suffer in his 30s he finally had back surgery and he regretted not doing it ten years earlier he said it completely alleviated the pain had a client accused of leading the cops on a high-speed chase the cop on the stand estimates that he was going 90 miles per hour but never actually clocked him then the cop identified where the chase started with me and where it ended it lasted about two miles then we went through his log of when it started and when it ended about three and a half minutes once you walk through the math on that the average speed of this chase was 35 miles per hour client got acquitted really quickly after that the first case I ever did opposing counsel misplaced the copy of my clients driver's license rather than admitting his mistake and asking me to resend it he filed the motion to compel claiming Lee never sent it well I was able to provide proof that we'd sent it to him like eight months ago so the judge was rather displeased with his antics represented a DUI client who swore up and down to me he hadn't been drinking or doing any drugs newbee officer had his field training officer with him in the car rocky pulls clients over for a tag violation walks back to the car with body camera still on training officer says get him out for a DUI and the rookie says but he's not intoxicated to which the reply was do it anyway body cam clicks off turns on seven minutes later and they're doing field sobriety exercises on my client client sat in custody for three weeks until I finally got the tape from the prosecutor and presented it to the judge gee oh crap looks from the prosecutor and FTO when the judge saw the tape I'll treasure that one the judge wrote the police chief a letter saying the FTO was dead to him and he'd deny every search warrant he tried to bring their ofter for being a liar the client is hopefully still on track with his civil attorney in a lawsuit I love body cams so very much I was suing a landlord who failed to make serious repairs in order to force the tenant out the hard part is proving bad intent instead of mere idiocy so you get higher damages code enforcement was involved so I request those records the landlord left a voice mail to the enforcement department saying to hold off on the fines they will make the repairs as soon as the tenant is forced out that was an easy case my brother is an attorney he had a case where the guy said he was permanently disabled from a work accident at a deposition my brother overheard the guy talking about getting his house remodeled he was already spending the money he thought he was getting my brother drove by the house to see how much work was being done and saw the guy carrying bundles of roofing shingles up a ladder to the roof this was before smart phones so he drove to her Best Buy and bought a video camera went back and recorded the guy he had copies made and sent to the other attorney the guy dropped the suit and was back at work the following Monday my brother's client didn't want to pay for the video camera he saved them thousands of dollars they eventually paid but he still gets a little peep when he talks about it not a lawyer but a legal videographer this gentleman was claiming injuries seeking damages against his employer after a fall at work he claimed he couldn't raise his right arm above his shoulder because of the fall first deposition comes along and I am hired by defendants attorney - videotaped deposition of the plaintiff anyone know the first thing a court reporter asks you to do in a deposition please raise your right hand and repeat after me plaintiff raises his right arm above his shoulder with ease and no sign of discomfort does not occur to him what he has just done both attorneys were looking down at their notes when this happened and neither of them caught it the plaintiff himself didn't catch it the court reporter looked at him and then looked at me and her eyes went wide with realization at what just happened four hours of deposition proceeded wherein the plaintiff is instructed multiple times to show his range of motion and preceeds to pretend like he can't raise his arm above shoulder level which he did at the very beginning of his deposition deposition ends plaintiff's counsel leaves I call defense hiring party counsel over and show him the first two minutes off tape counsel excitedly whispers to me case closed you just saved us tens of thousands of dollars I got a $5,000 bonus and plaintiffs case was dismissed with prejudice I had client whose 60k car was ruined by a shop that put in the wrong oil we couldn't prove it at first the engine blew up oil leaked out and evidence was lost i subpoenaed their bank records figured out they bought their oil from costco called costco and got to their prices for the last two years I then worked out the amounts they were spending did some back hand mouth and showed based on the values it was impossible they had ever bought the right oil they settled in full immediately you gotta admit it is the most satisfying thing when the opposition caves and immediately when you prove what they are saying is impossible not as exciting in the moment as some other ones here but we hired a private investigator to track our defendant in a fraud asset recovery case private investigator returned with a photograph of torn pieces of paper that clearly constituted a ripped up note albeit in a foreign language I happened to know said foreign language so P stood together and realized it was a letter written by the defendant raging of his accomplice for making highly specific mistakes that flicked him over in the context of our fraud asset recovery case obviously we later had this verified ins want of I referred Avett by an official translator it was unbelievable the handwriting was a match Plus he'd also signed it and the contents were so specific contained information about specific amounts going into specific trusts under specific names that it was basically a smoking gun we almost thought they'd planted it to throw us off but the guy was just stupid and arrogant ran into a bit of a fight ray admissibility but the letter ultimately helped us receive a significant settlement that made our clients extremely happy this is so petty I've had much bigger moments but because of the character on the other side this will always be my favorite doing a boundary dispute a squabble over what was essentially a few inches of land OS was a lawyer and an absolute aah he was acting for himself the whole a lawyer who acts for himself has a fool for a client thing was banging for him but he was a deeply unpleasant guy a bully who thought that he was the smartest guy in the room part of his case hinge on wheelie bins and how prior to the boundary having been moved there wasn't space to store a full-size bin beside the house the factory now could meant clearly the boundary must have moved that was the extent of his evidence it really was thin stuff during the actual trial he pulled the first one by suddenly producing an old aerial photo ostensibly to show the boundary at the front of the property had also moved a fast one because you have to disclose stuff like that in advance you can't just sit on something relevant and then suddenly whip it out a trial with a flourish whilst he was making his submissions that it should be admissible I looked more closely at it away from the bit of the boundary he said it was relevance to and realize that it very clearly showed a wheelie bin in exactly the spot his case said there couldn't be one told the judge we were happy for the photo be admitted after all got the other side to confirm the data was taken then pointed out he'd just completely flicked his case and that photo did him for nearly fifty K in adverse costs couldn't happen to a more deserving chapter score one for wheelie bins lawyers what's the most obscure law that you've actually used in a case one I heard from a criminal defense attorney in law school his client is driving down a country road it's night without any lights on a police officer is parked off the side of the road and seeing the man drive by pulls out behind him to follow him but also doesn't turn on their headlights eventually they pull the man over and find that he has a lot of see in the cab of his truck charges are brought for possession with intent to distribute they get to court and the attorney cites the fact that and of the relevant state law it is not legally required to have your headlights on at night unless there is another vehicle visible within 500 feet ring of your vehicle because the police officer was also driving without headlights the man had no reason to see them and therefore he was legally allowed to drive without his headlights on because of this there was no reason to have pulled the man over thus the discovery of the C was fruit of the poisonous tree that says any evidence that is discovered improperly must also be excluded case dismissed I hope that guy paid his attorney well because at terney just got that did out of some serious prison time a law professor rothman was representing someone who owned a goose and was being sued by a neighbor because the deed said no geese when the deed was written the singular and plural went interchangeable professor said deed only said no multiple geese and one goose was ok judge agreed judge was tired of hearing about a goose work for a debt collection law firm and we also do some subrogation work state of Michigan has a law on the books from back in the day where buy cattle are exempt from liability in automobile accidents case involved an accident due to the cattle going across the road pretty suddenly and there was a car on cattle collision guess who got blindsided in court by this law from the 1800s my maritime law professor was a glorious butthole and he'll never forget a story he told for this you need to know that below the mean high tide line on a beaches public access my professor in his younger days had just finished the bar exam he went to the beach the beach was super overcrowded just a short walk down the shoreline was a private beach club this beach and beach club were right near my college so I've been there and seen both the beach said the private beach club was wide open and much less crowded so he walked down the shoreline and parked his chair somewhere below the mean high tide line a few people from the Beach Club tried to get him to leave since he wasn't a member but because he was in the public access section of the beach legally they couldn't do anything the police and Criminal Evidence Act 1984 permits the police to take a sample of semen from a suspect in custody I had to give advice to a public entity about the US flag code an employee had raised the grievance and the way the flag was hung in a particular room violated the code technically the employee was right the question was what kind of remedy was enforceable under the flag code for a violation the answer none petty upset employee got no satisfaction I haven't used that yet but the other day while researching a related issue I stumbled across a 100 year old case that said summon served on Sundays were no lab initio hasn't been overruled although it's probably dead letter if I ever have to dispute a summons that was served on a Sunday I might pull it out and see how it goes when I worked at the Court of Appeals I had a case about fairies and half of the relevant law was from 1830s to 1940s real weird but a client of mine was writing a scathing review of the Australian court system which he intended to publish in a book when advising him regarding defamation etc' I ended up dredging up an old Australian law of scandalizing the courts whereby a person commits an offence if they incite disenchantment or distrust to the extent that it undermines public confidence in the judicial system I cited a fifteen hundred's case from the UK on grave robbing that stated that property can never be owned a less in a dispute over the ownership of a pile of dirt I also cited a 1700 s case on interpreting the rule against perpetuities as a lawyer I just had war flashbacks when I read rule against perpetuities I don't know if this would be interesting to anyone else but I drafted an msj last year where an insured inland marine trucking company had mistakenly delivered a filled cargo container back to port instead of the client and it was shipped back to China where it was held by customs in the cargo was eventually destroyed the insured's policy did not cover miss handling miss delivery or misplaced cargo but provided coverage for all non excluded losses they tried to argue that in miss delivering the cargo they had lost it and thus it fell under the policy as a non excluded loss it only took them a week or so to locate the cargo on its way back to China so it was never lost but they still tried to claim that a lot in an insurance contract included anything lost Donna scrap argument with the partner took out my entire section addressing the definition of loss as in to lose and loss in an insurance context as in the monetary value of insured property and we lost the msj I'm thankfully no longer in commercial property insurance fence but that one really annoyed me because it was such an obvious mr. actor ization of the contractual language in such a stupid move by the partner it's amazing how many my roles I get by lazy attorneys when they read my msj s yes I realize you think this is obvious that if we take it out the argument is no longer foolproof if you are entitled to a judgment as a matter of law you shouldn't have any missing fact or logic we read a contracts case back in school that ultimately came down to the issue of whether a hot dog was a sandwich there's a Supreme Court case about whether a tomato is a fruit or vegetable I didn't but worked in an insurance litigation firm where a guy used an eighteen hundred's maritime law to defend a case that occurred on a boat on Lake Michigan he wanted to get it out of state court and into federal court where civil verdicts are shall II have less value in our area that was neat I routinely cite a 1921 case regarding a forged railroad ticket when I'm trying to argue the best Evidence Rule of an original that's later being marked up with Penner has some notes on it but the case says that if something is printed out containing all the elements of what it's trying to do then any handwriting on it is evidence that it's been altered and the alterations must be shown to be lawful by whomever seeks to enter the item into evidence very good to use to keep things out of evidence citation please car sales tax case client has to post amount of disputed tax and then ask for the money back before getting an opportunity to sue to get money there are also interest in penalties if you do not send a letter asking for the state to not pursue state can still go after client even though cases pending on the letter to request the state not pursue as the top must be written in red ink specific words or the state can ignore the letter per the regulation this case has been going on since 2006 and haven't been able to file a case yet in court also state never actually has to respond to the request for a fund obscure case it's frequently found in tax law to say the taxpayer is allowed to minimize tax liability the Inland Revenue V the Duke of Westminster or commonly known as the Duke case is about whether the Duke is allowed to fire his gardener and give him an annual gift in exchange for his services nothing changed except now he can deduct tax on the amount I used the statute of bastardy from Connecticut in a brief I wrote in law school it was a criminal statute that provided the colonial US equivalent of child support the legal definition of massage is so ridiculously over broad in my state that it literally covers getting water pumped up your colon to clean out all the Pope we have a statute that prohibits certain kinds of car insurance from reimbursing providers for massage I was dealing with this shady fly-by-night clinic that offered a bunch of bull services that didn't do anything they were really just a massage parlor that pretended to do other crap to get around the billing issue so I argued that everything they did was technically massage under the statute not a lawyer but one time I had to see you a landlord who made up some pretend reasons to keep my security deposit I spent a Saturday in the law library at the local university and found a law that would let me win my lawsuits and claim triple damages the landlord read my lawsuit and offered to give me my deposit back plus $500 at sweet obligatory now but I work at a lawyer's office in Germany one of our lawyers managed to get our client off a speeding ticket by finding out whether or not you needed some sort of specific certificate to be allowed to operate the radar speeding gun he found out there indeed was some obscure certification of many that is needed and is supposed to be renewed every two years or so the officers who wrote the speeding ticket hadn't renewed theirs in a while apparently nobody did though nobody even really knew about that specific certificate he won the case the judge agreed they shouldn't have been operating the radar gun without the certification even though the dude really was speeding allegedly speeding we will never know since the officer with the radar gun didn't have the proper certificate he might have mishandled the raid gun or used it on another car typical mistakes for those who aren't certified where I went to school the conservation law students had to do a paper on if hunting on horseback is considered hunting with the aid of a motor vehicle here in NY the answer is and what you think I knew a guy who got a DUI on a horse in upstate not surprised at your answer Canada has an apology act stating saying sorry does not show responsibility or take blame for the situation you may or may not be at fault in the apology act wasn't passed until 2009 when I was taking driver's ed before this happened they specifically taught us not to apologize after an accident because it could be deemed an admission of guilt asking a Canadian to not say sorry after a car accident regardless of fault is like asking a dog not to bark it's just what they do not a lawyer but no other weird lawful hunting you are not allowed to claim deer roadkill if you are not up to date on your child support payments I had a competition with my brother also a prosecutor who could cite International Shoe first jurisdiction for minimal contacts and fair play I won in a hearing over forcing an out-of-state adult book company to accept a subpoena it's obscure case law not a statute a co-worker of mine used a court decision from the 1880s to successfully defend a document someone was trying to invalidate over an issue concerning a notary stamp the stamp was clear enough to read but had a slight smudge that the other side argued made it invalid they were able to keep the document out in an administrative hearing and won the case of that level based on that we appealed it to district court my coworker found a case from the 1880s where the court described a notary stamp smudge in the same way and ruled it was valid this was the only case she could find that addressed the issue based on that precedent the district court overruled the Administrative Court and reversed its decision sir I'm not here to have a philosophical debate about civil engineering when the judge starts with the sass you've already lost I do remember hearing a story where this guy in Michigan was arrested for underage drinking that was only a couple of months away from turning 21 he went to court and pulled out an abortion law for Michigan stating that life begins at conception so when he asked the judge if this law was still valid which it was he then stated that since that was the case he was technically over 21 years of age and legal to drink the case was dismissed and when the prosecutor made a stink about it the guy said hey it's your rules about five years ago the managing partner of my Chicago firm made me write a motion for a writ of mandamus in a federal case we'd filed in California the judge generously denied my motion without making me flied out to defend it in front of her I am waiting for a chance to use my state's laws regarding proud be one statute requires be to be confined while proud for a certain period of time another statute provides that there is no liability for killing a proud B that is not properly confined obviously this refers to female dogs in heat but the term proud is not defined anywhere in the state code as it relates to B now but in the 60s my hippie brother was busted for a traffic infraction in Hingham Massachusetts while being patted down he farted in the cops face he was charged with a colonial-era law uttering in public and fined I miss him I'm no lawyer but there's a case that took place in the UK court Oh Majesty's Revenue and Customs HMRC Vemma Kavita's McVitie's make a biscuit called jaffa cakes and HMRC argues that they were a biscuit and subject to taxation McVitie's argued that they were in fact a cake and cakes aren't subject to taxation McVitie's made a bigger version of a jaffa cake cake size I guess and argued that cakes go hard and biscuits go soft the jaffa cake went hard and McVitie's won the case it's quite common that a jury will convict a guy but the conviction is overturned because the prosecution didn't present sufficient evidence of one of the elements of the offense in an extremely rare version of this legal principle my brother-in-law just had a case where the prosecution will forgot to present evidence proving the crime took place in the geographic jurisdiction like County or state of the court jurisdiction must be proven like any other element of a crime the closest they got in this case was someone's testimony that had happened at home conviction reversed defendant is free to go when I was in collage a girl who worked at an expensive law firm told me this and I always wondered if it was true if she said that when Oklahoma passed her new drunk-driving law that they specifically mentioned the breathalyzer machine that the cops had to use him since it was a new one most places didn't have it so if you got a DUI and they didn't use that machine or even owned old ones you could get it dismissed by saying they weren't compliant with the law and used or could have used the old ones she said there had gotten cases dismissed using that argument lawyers who read wills to families what is the most interesting bizarre offensive surprising thing you have had to read out loud to my wife I leave her lover and the knowledge that I was never the full she thought me to my son I leave the pleasure of working for a living for 25 years he thought the pleasure was all mine best dis ever was in my wills and trusts book in law school as an example of people talking crap in their wills you're supposed to discourage them as lawyers from doing so a friend of mine was adopted at birth when her mom died the will gave half the estate to her two natural daughters my friend got nothing WTF that was vindictive beyond belief it's like saying yet I raised you but you were never truly my child best will story I personally know of the father had a valuable antique grandfather clock he also had two daughters his solution if I die on an even day daughter a gets the clock an odd day and daughter B gets it the daughter who did not get the clock got an equivalent cash award based on the value of the clock I know of the event because I had to service the clock several times over the years we had the client itemize his rock collection in his will including directions that certain rocks be deposited in certain rivers across Canada my father-in-law was an accountant for some rather wealthy people one of them was asking him to assist with writing up his were worth millions the final audition he suggested was that if the children contested it they'd get nothing they contested it for years it must be a bad feeling knowing you raised that sort of kids I literally cannot imagine fighting with my sister over money she has a hard time letting me pick up like every fourth restaurant Shack we had the client who was a widowed farmer who owned several heavy equipment caterpillar trucks et Cie he had two sons who were already working with him at the farm and a daughter who was working in the city he willed the heavy equipment to the daughter when asked why since these equipment were essential to the farm he said that the farm was to go his kids equally but his girl needed to know he always wanted her to join their venture and dispel her notions of alienation because she was a girl lawyer here I once a mended a will for a doctor in which he disinherited his son by removing everything he had intended to bequeath and replacing it with a manure spreader I didn't ask any questions because changing a will is an easy thing to do but one day that doctor will die and his son will have essentially be told to eat crap I was working as a legal secretary and had to leave someone's cat to various people fine but I also had to leave money in the cat's name to various organizations one of them was named mr. Bobo I enjoyed it thoroughly my maternal grandpa was wealthy he divorced my maternal grandma remarried and promptly dropped dead of a heart attack he was only 48 and had no will so everything went to his new wife my mum's stepmother she was actually really nice and was planning on making sure that everything was fair till she died in a car accident six months later she was a widow herself prior to marrying ground parent Heather now or from 15 year old son from the previous marriage who got everything my mom and her siblings had to go to the auction at the childhood home and buy back as much of their heirlooms and memories as they could afford and truthfully still some of what they couldn't tons one client left a specific gift of 10k dollars to one son and left him out of the post riped division of the residual estate which was sizable at the time the will was drafted this was intended as a serious disinheritance which he apparently talked about all the time to make the disfavored son feel bad however by the time he died he had a serious reversal of fortune and his estate was about 10k dollars so he effectively disinherited the good children and left the blacksheep everything the bad kid appeared very poor compared to the others and the look of grateful surprise on the poor kids face was almost as priceless as the shock on the others who thought they were getting rich I heard this from another lawyer rich old lady leaves her entire sizable estate in a trust for the care and maintenance of her dog as long as the dog shall live on the dog's death the trust paid out in full to the son apparently the Sun had Rover put down the day after the funeral and presented a demand to the trustee the very next day for the trust payout she should have seen that one coming I know I know no lawyer here but I had to share a woman came in after her mother's funeral with some correspondence from the company I worked for insurance she was worried there was a bill she needed to pay and was coming to tell us her mom had died she just looked so tired and we got to talking while I looked up the policy to close it out she shared that in the last few years her mom had slipped into dementia and she single-handedly took care of her how she missed her but just was run ragged and she hadn't taken a vacation in forever I realized what she had was not a health policy it was a life insurance policy naming the daughter as the beneficiary for about 50 K I told her and she just started crying it made me cry and I got up and hugged her and sort of just held her while she cried she pulled away and said I have no idea what she left that for everything's been paid for I said this might be her telling you to go on that vacation and relax it was so touching and she had no idea that the policy existed my estate planning professor told us about a guy who had two families neither of which knew about the other until it was time to read the will but this wasn't like a love child mistress type scenario both of a nuclear multi kid families both families showed up for what had to be one of the most awkward will reading in history I don't really know how he pulled it off other than that he was away on business frequently but here have my mediocre will story anyway my great grandmother left her daughter just one dollar and not a single penny more so help me God this was before I was born it's my grandmother not the daughter with the dollar said that when they all read the will her sister had a full-blown temper tantrum and no one heard from her since I guess she had it coming in olden days it used to be typical to bequeath $1.00 so that if challenged the judge saw that they were not forgotten and purposefully meant to not get more if a close family member or loved one got nothing they would often challenge they were forgotten might not be true in this case but something I remember studying in my trusts and estates class in law school we read a case about a man who left everything to his wife but only if she got his body stuffed and left it on the living room couch forever luckily for her the Court invalidated that part of the husband's will Pike part of the reasoning was that it would make it impossible for her to date remarry if she had her husband's creepy dead body glaring at anyone who came to see her my grandfather a Vietnam War veteran suffered from PTSD it got worse in his later years and he would often isolate himself from the rest of the family often hiding out in his bedroom when visitors were over my grandmother would often tell us stories about how he had inherited a significant amount of money from his father way back when she said that in their younger years he often spend his inheritance on luxurious dates and trips after returning from war he spent the remaining money on a house in which he and my grandmother settled and raised their children fast-forward to his death just a couple months back and we found out he had written a will even my grandmother didn't know about it we all had assumed he wouldn't have much to leave since most of the money he had saved from his time the military was going towards taking care of him as he was placed in a care facility as his PTSD worsened his will told of a warehouse in Township Michigan that held a large collection of vintage cars he said that the warehouse was passed down from his father and he had all the documents to prove that he was the owner of some type of warehouse his will estimated that the cars be worth an excess of two million dollars total the money from his collection would be split between his four children we had no idea this collection ever existed my father and his three brothers had all grown up in Plano Texas none of us had ever been to Michigan before even our mother couldn't recall a time of our father ever having even gone to visit Michigan after a long debate my father and I the only ones who could manage to find some time off from work agreed to fly out to Michigan to see this collection firsthand after a few thousand dollars spent on plane tickets hotels Act we finally arrived at the warehouse my grandfather owned it was a rundown warehouse but it was tucked away within a compound of other warehouses that seemed to be otherwise well taken care off finally code in hand my father punched the numbers into the keypad and the giant door began to rise what was inside was beyond words there was absolutely nothing besides a few homeless people that managed to sneak and through a hole in the corrugated metal around back there was no car collection we were able to contact a few owners of the neighboring warehouses and to their knowledge no one and nothing had ever been inside of those warehouses in the years they had been there to this day we don't know what happened we all just assumed that the PTSD caused him to create some kind of fantasy in his mind that maybe he purchased the warehouse believing it was a safe house for him if he ever needed to get out off play no my grandfather hated his neighbor they lived next to each other for 20-plus years I remember well my grandfather raging at every opportunity about this guy we never saw them speak to each other in grandpa's ville he left the guy $10 K a car and golf clubs we were dumbstruck turns out they were good buddies from the Army when they coincidentally bought homes next to each other they decided to play along scam with both their families they actually played golf together 2-3 x per week and had a monthly poker game for yours too my daughter Anne who created my beautiful granddaughter Jane and her dear 4th husband John who laid hands on my Jane I leave $1 you money-grubbing bastards to Jane I leave all of my monetary assets save $5,000 and my best gun which I'll leave to my son Bill on the condition that he beats John bloody during the time between my funeral and my burial Jane bail your uncle out of jail please other than names this is the exact wording of a great uncle's will part of it anyway at age 9 Jean told her mother that John had Paula stood her and her mother told her she deserved it for being of s so great uncle took Jean in and raised her and his two kids got exactly what it says his son also got a truck and technically a house although he only kept it until Jean was a legal adult and could afford the tax on it bill got full custody of Jane when his father died and he put every penny of her money into a trust fund to mature when she was 25 because he felt like his sister would try to get the money he was right and in case anyone wondered yes bill got his 5 grand he didn't get arrested though because John had a warrant on him so they didn't dare call the cops bill did kindly inform the police of his whereabouts a few weeks later that is beautiful something about revenge from beyond the grave or at least on the way to it not a lawyer but sawed off a sad story when my dad's mother died her will stipulated that everything was to be liquidated and the money distributed equally between her children and grandchildren fine but literally everything had to be sold there were family heirlooms jewelry things my grandfather a carpenter had made so many sentimental family things like my father and his siblings badly wanted but it all had to be sold they all went to the auction to try to buy some of the more sentimental items but weren't always successful it was heartbreaking and I'm not sure what made my grandmother think it would be a good idea nobody wanted the money they wanted her wedding ring in the clocks my grandfather had and all that it was heartbreaking and I'm not sure what made my grandmother think it would be a good idea nobody wanted the money they wanted her wedding ring in the clocks my grandfather had made in all that most likely she didn't want her family fighting over her belongings I used to work for an accountant and we used to make wills as well an old man probably around 70 left all his money to his mistress while his wife only got the goldfish I had to tell him that if his wife contested it she would most definitely win he said he didn't care not me but my friend's father's father died and he said when the guy reviewed the will with his lawyer and his sister it said to give 100% of the assets to his sister he said he had no idea why his father did that he wasn't on bad terms or anything it was shocking to him the sister didn't share anything with him either and they were on pretty good terms before that when my great-uncle died he left his beloved dog to his longtime girlfriend all of his money went into a pet trust for said dog which turned out to be quite a large sum of money his two kids got nothing as far as I know he didn't have a bad relationship with them or anything he just thought the world of his little dog one summer I worked as an administrative assistant to a lawyer who worked in Wills and estates most of it was the usual petty arguing about percentages of money but one couple was deeply concerned about which all their children would receive the urn with the ashes of the family's long deceased cat wouldn't want to play favorites one of my college buddies dad died from cancer in our second year it wasn't a sudden death he had been battling it for a couple years when my friend came back to school he casually mentioned that his dad left him and his sister $7 million each turns out his dad had hit the lottery before my friend was born invested put all the money away to help pay for college high school his mom got a nice chunk of change also he grew up thinking they were just ordinary middle-class family we had a glorious third and fourth year of college thanks to my loaded friend someone had left an entire golf course that he owned and managed in secret to his son they were avid golfers but always went to another course I still don't know why someone would lie about downing a golf course my will has something unusual story time ice at my wife down to have the talk because I was getting ready to deploy to Iraq this was during the incredible sectarian violence and I wanted to make sure she knew everything to do in case I died she's never serious ever but I wanted her to be serious for this discussion because it was damned important I get through telling her all about it and want to know if she has questions yet so the life insurance how does that work she says I don't really know baby what do you mean she answers well do they just put the money in there when look she's not trying to be in butthole right it's not like she's just dying for the money if she wants to know the logistics of it I'm sitting here thinking when she says so do they put in my bank account or do they give you one of those big checks when you win the lottery as she holds her hands up like she's holding a huge check laughter ensues I have it written into the wall that if I'm Kia I want the 400 K dollars to be given to her with a gigantic lottery check have base photo brings several folks over should like the paparazzi she stands on a stage and do it law not exactly a reading of the will story but in the same realm when I was like 20 my dad told me that when he died I would be getting a chunk of money not millions but enough to do something good with years later he and my mom separated he met a new woman and got married after talking to my brother and sister we were all worried that she would change his will or get him to change it in favor of her kids we agreed that we didn't want money but just wanted any final wishes to be Honnold the money couldn't hurt though sadly after that he got cancer and died two years ago after he died my siblings and I agreed to just accept however his widow divided anything she made sure things went where he had decided my percentage was smaller because he had added her and her children in the two years since he passed she hasn't talked to us much she calls for holidays and stuff she tries but she is just kinda awkward she's also sent large sums of money on two occasions because she sold some land he owned she has shown me and my siblings that there are still good people sure she might have kept most of the money but she could have kept all of the money and we would never have known when I was 16 my dad wrote me out of his will and then hung himself in the garage it was few months after my older brother had died in a car wreck funny thing is we always got along I was then kicked out of the house by his wife without a single thing that was mine it was on Christmas Eve so I went to my mom's for a night and when I came back to my dad's the locks were changed not a single shirt not a shoe not a sock nothing but the cloths on my back and the change in my pocket when I was a clerk in law school at the state Court of Appeals the adult children of a rich woman tried to invalidate the will basically the woman was worth about eight million dollars and all the children were working professionals earning six or seven figures while the woman had used the same hairdresser for multiple years and left a considerable amount in a trust for the hairdressers children's education the remainder of the estate was given to different charities basically the kids were mad they didn't get a cut if it comes up like if you're wealthy leaving one thousand dollars to each kid will make it a lot more difficult to invalidate leave then nothing and they can create a lot of doubt into questions serious family court labors what's the most petty behavior you've seen from parents I'm just an intern but I once was sifting through discovery that our client provided as he was trying to win custody over his son one of these pieces of discovery was a detailed account of the mother's timeliness basically if the mother was late to pick up her son they would time it and document it which would make sense if it was significant but I'm not exaggerating over a six-month period she was late for a total of 33 minutes seeing as they met to exchange the child three times week it means she was late by about one or two minutes once a week it was the most insignificant piece of data that I have ever seen in my entire life but the client was adamant that we use it in court to prove the mother was irresponsible most comments here are just talking about despicable people but this truly is the pettiest of petty family law legal assistant here a client of ours included a chunk of pork in the freezer and her list of assets that she insisted she get back the lawyer on the other side came back with respectfully I'm not going to argue over secondhand meat in a freezer my GF is a family lawyer she had a pair from Eastern Europe we're in Ontario who wanted a divorce long fight over what the husband's assets were he claimed to be living on less than $12,000 casher wife hired a private detective eventually found that he was hiding another home won a big settlement my GF is really happy note she doesn't get a penny of the settlement or bonus or extra pay she just liked seeing the liar court but the wife still isn't happy claims the husband is hiding even more money keeps badgering him with more legal stuff even though my GF is telling her you won let it be then husband hires a PI finds out the wife is joint owner of another house with her new boyfriend settlement and validated my GF immediately got off the record and refused to help the woman anymore worked in an attorney's office for a little bit knew about the divorce case one of the attorneys was involved in where the child had been diagnosed with a terminal disease with maybe a few years left and the parents tried to fight over what the child's wish should be for one of those make ur wish type of foundations I dunno the judge chewed both parents a new one when this issue came up but ultimately could not make a call on how the wish would be granted I believe the child ending up refusing the wish on account of the argument it caused between the parents just hearing about the details of this case flicked me up for a while not really petty but more psychotic my dad received full custody and won everything in the divorce because my mom was diagnosed with a multitude of mental problems that she refused to take medication for and she was an abusive alcoholic who also did err more Thun seized anyways after all that was said and done she decided she'd show us we were gone she'd break into the house and steal random crap like Tupperware lids all of the Tupperware lids I crap you not we came home from school and all of the forks were gone so we went to Walmart and bought forks came home with forks and all of the spoons were gone we found out she'd been getting in through my bedroom window so we put a lock on the window and put up security cameras didn't work out because three days later while we were gone we got her on video stealing yes actually stealing the window and running down the road before you ask yes we have a restraining order yes we turned the tapes over to the cops no you can't have a crazy person put into a mental hospital against their will unless they are a physical threat to themselves or others yes she still randomly steals stuff from my dad's house it's more of an amusement now though you always decorate the tops of your cabinets with stuff and forget about it so we play this game called what used to be there three thousand dollars between me and another very good lawyer to argue about thirteen dollars month versus $30 month child support they had 50 stroke fifty custody the kid was 13 even after I did the math for my client explaining they were paying me more than the difference for the entire rest of child support they still wanted to do it when I was a kid and my parents were divorcing my dad filed many lawsuits against my mother for anything and everything when I was 10 years old he even told me he was going to take me to court in a lawsuit because I didn't want to go visit him client once called me with an emergency the emergency was that his soon-to-be ex-wife fed the kid Chef Boyardee for dinner I went to law school for this the interim court order said that my client the mum was not to discuss the court proceedings with the child during an access visit the child asked her when will I get to see you again and my clients responded we'll have to see but hopefully soon the father then argued that this was discussing the court proceedings with the child and tried using it as an excuse to deny any further access as an intern I saw a couple have long hateful emails about who was going to keep the unisex Armani hoodie almost all of their discussion centered on that one hoodie when in the end the husband got to keep it the wife cut holes into it which ruined it it was pretty nice tbh what I get from this is that if you ever divorce someone really petty put a lot of focus on a few random items you don't actually care about a mother actively coaching her two kids to say that Dad was physically abusive to them she would have gotten away with it except for two things one the court-appointed psychology sli's out in the interview to date longest report I have read up 280 pages and to the eldest kid then 10 I think got annoyed at the mother for some such reason and recorded her on their cell phone which was promptly played for dad in the end dad got full dated day care and mother had supervised to contact for six months before she went to every second weekend this is probably one of the worst things yet this happened in January guy was straight out of jail two years and of course at that point his marriage was rocky as heck when his wife dropped his kids off to visit he lived with his parents for parole purposes the son said his uncle hit him the father then filed a PFA against the wife and uncle it was granted then he files for sole custody it was granted the kids were in his custody for about two months before the custody hearing of course my boss threw me the file and I had to handle the mediation and last minute prep at mediation the father and wife's hit angry I'd literally each cross armed and furious the other lawyer and I discussed the facts and what arrangement each client once briefly in another room we come out and our clients are gone magically and praise the Lord in the course of ten minutes of me and the lawyer talking the father and mother made up made out in the corner of the hallway and returned the case was dropped may I mention this was pro bono pa jurisdiction to the worst I was ever a part of in California we have certain requirements to meet before one parent can move away with the child but this requirements kick and when the other parents visitation will be materially impacted by the move my client is mom she is a dental hygienist she has kids with dentist won and divorces dad for dentist too she wants to move with the kids to dentist whose town so she can work for him live closer to work etc dentist to s town is a 25 minute drive away from dentist 1s town 25 minutes between the two of them the two dentists must have spent nearly 400 K fighting over a 25 minute move this was also the moment I realized I made a terrible mistake becoming a lawyer when I should have become a dentist my first job out of law school was as a trial court staff attorney this is basically a judicial law Clark so we did a lot of research and advisory memos for judges I didn't cover a family law docket but my officemate to date she got an emergency motion in a family law case one time for the non lawyers these are filed when something is extremely time-sensitive and critically like a matter of life and death important if the judge deems it a true emergency your matter will be heard on an expedited basis they'll fast track you in for a hearing usually in a matter of days rather than the usual weeks months it normally takes to get a hearing date anyhow this particular emergency motion was to compel the ex spouse to send their child to happy faces day care because if the child couldn't go to happy faces day care it was going to be irreparably damaged from the lack of social exposure etc emergency happy faces day care FML needless to say this was not an emergency I don't know how the motion was ultimately ruled on other than that it wasn't an emergency man my ex literally has done this three four times to me one successful time she got my son away from me for around three months with a lawyer postponing the court date multiple times we are still in custody caught five years later on and off it sucks Canadian family lawyer here many instances of pettiness generally good family lawyers will call their client on their Bulls we don't want to be the lawyer standing in front of a judge over really petty things reputation is important client my son is very mature for his age I believe access to his mother should be per his discretion me your two-year-old son that said I've had people call my office yelling that my client wouldn't allow them to pick up the infant child at 10:00 p.m. only four hours late for a visit one guy far to previous lawyers and retained me to negotiate adding three meaningless words to a settlement we are talking months of intense negotiations between counsel one parent refused to allow another parent to take kids on vacation because they wanted to take the child to disney first despite you know not having the funds to do so the most petty other parents who phone cast child protection services or the police for every minor disagreement your two-year-old cries when leaving your home call child protection services one guy was a total control freak he'd gone to the Philippines and romanced his now ex-wife brought her back to Australia and then expected her to be a slave for him pop out his kids et Cie etc when she left him he manipulated her into believing that they would share care of the kids and they didn't need court orders then behind her back he went to court obtained sole custody of the kids and basically cut her out then when she was back on her feet and could finally go back to court and try to get her kids back he said she was a prostitute among other things he said the kids were learning sexualized behavior from her despite the fact that he was living in a trailer caravan modified shipping container something like that with no actual walls between the kids room and the bedroom he shared with his new partner and the mother was living in a house with bedrooms and doors real nice guy in the end he didn't use a lawyer so he was completely steamrolled in court his court documents were laughable literally everything that had ever gone wrong with the kids was the mother's fault and he now sees the kids once a fortnight instead of having them live with him full-time so there's a way not to do things also hilariously one of the things he said in court was that he knew when he was impregnating the mother because he can control his ejaculation reai iight I've seen some biast pettiness but the best story I have is actually from my guardian ad litem professor when she was practicing she had a client whose ex-wife was SuperDuper specific about getting all of the children's clothes back from his house when she got the kids back from him like if one sock was left behind all heck would break loose so this guy's solution was to make the children strip naked in the foyer and put on clothes specifically worn at his place when it was his turn to have them then when they went back to mums they had to strip naked a game and change back into the clothes she sent them therein sounds a bit scarring for the children father wanted full custody of his child child was in full mother's custody child has diabetes both parents must fill a daily glucose intake measured by glucometer every time father dropped the child at Mom's he would buy our Snickers or Twix on the way there and feed it to the kid then we flipped out the glucose meter rings during court due to the Mesha rings being extremely high when the child was at Mom's we were able to get the child to the father's full custody I didn't know what he was doing I certainly didn't advise him to do it he just bring it to the court house and ordered me to present it either that or that time where during divorce a guy had exact knowledge of how many toilet paper sheets his wife was overusing and how many liters of warm water she overused worked in a law firm dealing in family matters couple hammers out a separation agreement over months off meetings mediation letters and drafts back and forth ended up having to take it to court because they couldn't agree on who would get the airmiles the freaking air miles an opposing party had to pay $2,000 in attorneys fees to his wife's lawyer and he brought it to the office in pennies clients spouse off decades gets a terminal cancer diagnosis about halfway into a fairly routine medium-high asset divorce my client is such a viciously horrible person saying they were glad that the spouse was dying that the opposing parties literal dying wishes to be divorced to never see a spouse of 30-plus years again divorce lawyers offered it what's the most outrageous reason someone filed for divorce my aunt was dating an unemployed dude for a while he was staying in her house rent-free they got married and were getting ready to go on the honeymoon when the new husband tells her he's not going because he has to take care of his plants if a house big fight aunt goes on the honeymoon with her sisters instead she comes home and tries to kick him out of her house he refuses to leave she tries to get the police involved Dudus live-streaming on Facebook how he is being trapped in his own home police tell my own there is basically nothing they can do can file for eviction after a divorce dude gets to live in her house with his precious plants for like three months until everything legally gets worked out paralegal a couple got divorced over a cat wife called cat snowball because of white fur and only wanted the cat wet food or chicken breasts husband called cat Lily again because of white fur and believed it should only eat dry food but these two argued for a year over custody of the cat purr did not give a crap about their human kids aged 15 months four years and six years old not a lawyer but I have been aching to tell this story for a while so this girl I went to school with marries this rich guy from Ohio she moves in with him and they seem to get along well six months later she files for divorce up to that point all I've heard from her was how good it was going anyways it turns out our buddy had a fetish for urine he asked her to urinate on him in the tub at first she agrees to it if she thought it was a one-time thing but he kept asking for it more and more she tried to decline it respectfully but he wouldn't get any of the hints she finally used the tub being too small as a reason next day she comes home with two dozen construction guys in their heavy equipment the bathroom walls a week or so later they finish up the bathroom she comes home to a sign left on the fridge with a note to drink up she got some watering to do I don't know what exactly she put down as the official reason in the paperwork but that was definitely her biggest reason to walk out of that relationship oh I forgot to add he also wanted to bring a horse to do the deed as well and at times asked her to make animal sounds while she stood on top of him my aunt had a case where the wife had glued all of the outdoor hoses together so he weld and spend more time washing his vehicle anymore when the glue didn't work she just cut em all up when he bought new ones they filed for divorce my 90 year old client the husband and his son retained me to initiate divorce proceedings with his 88 year old wife they'd be married 60 years the wife had recently taken to beating him with his own cane because their daughter poisoned her into thinking he was hiding money from them the battle came down to husband and son versus wife and daughter at their first court appearance my client showed up in an old 1950s style pinstripe suit and fedora he was a farmer his whole life and this was clearly the only suit he owned he was such a meek and lovely old gentleman I had to pass my client on to a new lawyer midway through the proceedings because I accepted a job in a different country but I understand the divorce was eventually granted but this one hurts imagine spending that much of your life with someone and then it breaks 60 years is no joke I would have been devastated colleague handled a case where money was not an issue but the kids were neither parents wanted them my mom worked in abuse and neglect counseling and juvenile justice there are a lot more cases like this than I'd care to admit parents divorce and neither side wants a kid some of them are that neither side wants one kid but we'll fight over another kid it ends up totally screwing them over because they have to live with the fact that their parents didn't want them I represented a p actress webcam model who filed for divorce from her husband who also did the P webcam model business he would do gay pee on the side because the pay was better she was hesitant about it but dealt with it because the pay was decent both sides had an agreement that it wasn't cheating as long as it was for work one day she came home early and found her husband in bed with two men they were not filming that was too much for her needless to say the old conservative judge couldn't wrap his head around this one I'm imagining explaining the situation to my grandfather and I'm having a hard time because I think he would have a stroke before I finished explaining when I clerked for a judge we had a week long divorce trial between a couple the husband was a wildlife photographer and the wife was a stay-at-home wife no kids who helped remodeled a home anyway husband was mauled by a grizzly bear he was photographing spent several months in the hospital and Rehab and was served papers shortly after getting out now without an eye and with severe scarring on his face inside she wanted half of everything the non scarred half at least not a divorce lawyer but I had a friend whose parents divorced for irreconcilable differences over time spent playing EverQuest in my game design class it was referred to as a ver crack my dad was a divorce lawyer he had a client who wanted to divorce her husband for two reasons one he did not have enough hair on his chest two he did not drive fast enough keep in mind this was in the seventies when chest hair was a bit more important crap yep it would have been embarrassing to show up late at a pool party and your man not having a decent chest Bush my grandfather's brother was a judge who presided over state ashiya marriages from time to time one couple he married returned six months later to confirm the wedding and end their trial marriage when he thusly informed them that there was no such thing in that they had been married for six months they subsequently broke up that sounds nutty but if you believed you so when they told you trial marriages were a real thing the betrayal could very easily end the marriage I didn't like her anymore two days after being married in sickness and in Heath till disinterest do you part she was kidnapped in Mexico and he refused to pay ransom eventually her family managed to pay and she was left on the side of the road it is not outrageous as in petty but outrageous as how absurd that is honey I love you but we agreed to save up money so we can purchase a house your ransom would really set us back I'm an intern but the judge I work for used to do divorce work he has some crazy stories but there's one is probably the most outrageous though the divorce was pretty justified every morning this couple would sit in the bathroom together while one of them had their morning dumb one would sit on the toilet and the other on the rim of the bathtub this particular morning the wife was on the toilets and husband on the edge of the tub they started to argue about their relationship so the wife reaches down pulls her tampon out and flings it at husband I'm told the tampon stuck for a brief second to his forehead before sliding off he filed for divorce that same day or the next at first I read this as one shoots in the toilet while the other shoots into the bathtub as and they are both pooping simultaneously in Rock Paper Scissors for who gets to use the toilet I was so concerned I knew a guy from a high school job who divorced his wife of two months because she would sleep with a nightlight but he could only sleep in total darkness as they apparently never lived together until after getting married he hated her nightlight so much that he would often sleep on the couch instead but sometimes he would claim the bed for himself and lock her out of the bedroom for the night this was an eccentric late 40s man working at a Burger King who acted like all the other high school co-workers were his best chums and often told us these weird store I'm glad I don't work with him anymore failed exorcisms client had an inner ear condition that caused chronic vertigo but symptoms could be treated with medication a husband was an evangelical who was convinced his wife one had become possessed and that her vertigo and general crankiness with his methods were evidence of demonic possession to the medications she was taking was enabling the devil to hide inside her and three the only proper of course was exorcism he would hide her meds until she got dizzy and then try various methods of exorcism this included sweating it out put under blankets while incapacitated and locked in a room full of space heater freezing it out pretty much the reverse with a/c fans and bags of ice surprising it out he would jump out and scare her like it was the hiccups but instead of yelling boo he would recite the Lord's Prayer or Psalms the final straw was that he tried to surprise it out of her by pushing her down the stairs when they were heading out for dinner note this guy was some type of executive and they still went out to dinner after the stairs incident but she asked for the divorce at an Applebee's at night I have often tried to picture that conversation as she was adamant that he was a total sweetheart and never acted out of malice or anger that one's just said my uncle has schizophrenia and my grand aunts tried to convince my grandmother his mom to have an exorcist come instead of letting him stay on his medications it's probably one of the reasons my grandmother stopped talking to them much it pains me to think he could have gone through all of that if he beamed one of my grand aunt son instead of my grandmother's he had an argument with the new in-laws during the wedding and moved out at around 5:00 a.m. during the first night I was a legal assistant when this case came in but this lady divorced her husband of two months because he got her an iPad case for her birthday instead of the expensive jewelry she wanted my client put his wife in an assisted living facility based on a misdiagnosis the medication of which caused the wife to be unable to care for herself while in the facility my client shocker started dating another woman and mythix began you hard drugs he used a lot of money on both of these things she eventually got off the medication and got better suffice to say she was not happy about what had transpired wasn't the reason but did happen during the course of the divorce neither side would follow the court orders when they had to go back to court they were fighting over a pistol in the man's grandmother's bowels I assumed for weeks that these bowls were some sort of heirloom or expensive China when they finally brought the bowls in to swap they were freaking Tupperware my husband's first marriage lasted six months he found out she had been sleeping around with several of his friends and one of those friends finally felt so guilty that he fessed up husband actually wanted to work it out if he could but when he tried to talk to her about it she locked him out of the house and told him she wanted a divorce why did you marry me he finally asked her a response because he was the only one she was sleeping with who could afford her dream wedding yup be married him because she wanted a wedding and chose the person who could afford it mind you he wasn't wealthy by any means he just wishes his friend had felt guilty about say six months sooner I had some friends get divorced because she legit hated Dale Earnhardt and he legit hated Jeff Gordon my douche cousin told his wife she had three chances to give him a son daughter was born first strike one son was born second then they find out the boy can't eat gluten so my cousin divorced her and has made zero effort to see his kids who's your cousin Henry VI E my great-great grandparents had an interesting case he was abusive like pimp her out and then beat her for infidelity levels of abuse this was the 1910s though and in our state you couldn't initiate a divorce for cruelty in fact the only possible grounds for divorce was infidelity a few times she tried just leaving him anyway once he came home from work and she plus all eight of their kids were just gone but he always found them and since they were still married he had every right to grab the kids and go back home with them finally she moved out and went to live with another man she flaunted the new guy around town until her no-good husband got embarrassed enough to sue her for divorce on the grounds of infidelity although she couldn't read or write she put her ex on those papers the minute he served her it was a major local scandal very Catholic community divorce was rare but she got what she needed to be safe my client was the outrageous one so my heart went out to his poor wife he had OCD which manifested primarily financially so he made their lives of penny-pinching hack examples he was obsessed with avoiding unnecessary driving wear and tear on the car gas expenses so he cut the whole family's hair at home and never let them eat at a restaurant or go to the movies weirdest of all he kept one toilet paper roll on him at all times and you had to get one Square from him before you could go to the bathroom he never gave more than one square wife finally got fed up and left him when one he gave her bangs during an in-home haircut and to their daughter was so traumatized by the toilet paper thin they couldn't potty-trained her also he hated paying his divorce lawyer bill he was also an old-fashioned mega Catholic who considered divorce a deadly sin he viewed my whole job as an unnecessary and sinful expense not me but a friend my mom has divorced her husband because his mother still coddled him at age 40 with his consent they lived with his mother common in Asia by cuddle I mean that she would walk straight into their room after his shower and powder his back for him they couldn't lock their bedroom door because his mother would come in isn't what she wanted if they locked the door she would not repeatedly asking what they were doing I worked as a paralegal for a divorce lawyer case analysis was one of my main responsibilities i crap you not a recently married couple of two years broke it off because the husband would not stop feeding the dog the dog got outrageously fat apparently she saw connection between the dog and future children I am a lawyer that handles quite a few divorces among other things and I've seen all sorts of reasons for marriages ending the only thing that is consistently true is that it is never for just one reason and it is never one-sided when you hear about people divorcing over one stupid argument or mistake usually that's just the straw that broke the camel's back that said some of the lightest draws I've seen include a guy who is 100% convinced that his wife our client is actually a lesbian in love with his sister and just using him as a cover but he also claims she is hooking up with me to pay for her legal fees and with every male whose phone number is in her call history a woman who is divorcing my client because he was too sad after his father died last year my client had to break down her door to get his father's ashes a few weeks after he left the house and she refused to let him back in or give them to him and a woman who claims my client was emotionally abusive towards her because he refused to yell at her and sat in silence ignoring her when she screamed at him he has this recorded time-stamped for the date sometimes she insists the incidents occurred and she's listened to them and his complete silence as she goes on tirades and insists this proves her point that he was emotionally distant and abusive a friend of mine got married when she was 19 so she could drink at a bar in Wisconsin you can drink underage with a parent or a spouse then when she turned 21 she got a divorce since she was legal to drink without him seems like an easy in-and-out transaction but oh no the biggest item they fought over was the garage beer refrigerator go figure it's not the most outrageous but I had a client incur about 20 additional hours of billable hours because he and his ex-wife were battling and went to trial over their Star Wars collection this was the only issue at trial they were able to work out custody child support the house but the Star Wars collection went to trial the judge ended up splitting it in the most Arthur hellish way possible basically giving each side half of what they wanted and then mixing and matching everything else and breaking up collections when speaking about it at a conference the judge admitted she did it because if they were going to act like children she would treat them like children the thing is the value of this collection was over $100 K so hardly kids staff neither side had it in them to appeal nor was the case law on either side given judicial discretion in property distribution worked in matrimonial law for a year and a half before I had to leave BC adjust overwhelmed me with how awful humanities I'll never forget filing papers that described her soon-to-be ex-husbands behavior including master Bates on the living-room couch without closing the door and leaves sticky tissues everywhere with further description of their three young children potentially walking in on him I have a friend who used to work as a clerk for a family court judge the minute a new job opened up working for a criminal court judge she jumped on it because as she put it dealing with murderers all day is one heck of a lot easier than dealing with divorcing couples all day I do my student practice at my family's law firm young woman filed for a divorce because her husband drank one beer during weekdays after a day of work the guy wasn't violent dealing drugs or anything like that he was just a normal polite guy who liked to have a cold one after a 10-hour shift they are very good couple and argue so rarely that this woman's friends told her to write down everything he did to upset her and reread it every day so she had reasons to be angry my mom lawyer set the woman straight tailed her he just doing what all guys do and to find herself new friends instead of one's ready to sabotage their marriage not necessarily the most outrageous reason but definitely some outrageous conduct the saddest divorce we were hired to do but ended up not doing for reasons that'll become apparent was a woman in her 50s whose husband had really just let himself go he was over 400 pounds just did his third triple bypass refused to do anything different just smoked and drank all day long while watching TV his doctors told him he was going to die in six months if he didn't change his behavior he told them they were all morons and could go to heck meanwhile his wife is this successful woman who makes over $10 K a month on her hobby while making six figures in her normal work she lost all respect for him all desire and all love for him by watching his decline for the past few years she can barely stand him it also sounded like there was some verbal abuse going on where he constantly accused her off cheating and gaslighting her while cheating himself throughout their marriage and spending all his money on coke the usual his accusations ramped up considerably once she lost about 200 pounds the good ol a fashioned way we were working on her divorce and one of her provisions was that he keep her as the beneficiary on his life insurance for obvious reasons she assured us he would agree to everything she suggested in the paperwork if she talked him through it one day we get an email from her saying to hold the divorce not because they were reconciling but because he refused to keep her as the beneficiary on his life insurance if they divorced so she stopped the divorce so that she could get the benefits when he inevitably dies in a few months he got drunk at the wedding she did not like it and decided to divorce him right after the honeymoon which she went without him moreover this was all an elaborate scheme of divorce robbery because the guy was loaded and so was his entire family they were loaded because they were a family of excellent lawyers and he was a third generation lawyer with all the smarts and experience of his predecessors combined let's just say did not go well for her I am NOT a lawyer but I am a court clerk the magistrate I used to work with got a petition for divorce and the reason the wife gave was he should have been more forthcoming about his shortcomings in the bedroom not a lawyer but my uncle's wife left him because he was spending most of the time at the hospital with my dying grandfather instead of spending time with her I work with a guy whose wife is currently peed because he hasn't been taking sufficient care of the lawn for the last few months he works weird night shift hours full-time she's a teacher currently not working since it's summer and his dad is terminally ill dying in a hospital bed right now but she still has the audacity to be about the lawn not getting mowed was allowed she were at the dinner table he developed a complex and literally needed out as he couldn't bear to eat with her this sounds like a Seinfeld B plot now but my father's best friend divorced his wife over her cooking apparently every day he would come home to amazing cooked meals however she couldn't cook at all and was ordering food from different restaurants she even went as far as dirtying pots and pans to make it look like she cooked all day she got away with this for almost a year before he caught on this was back in the day before you could check your bank statements online and since she did all the billing he didn't notice how much money was missing that she was spending on takeout not a divorce lawyer it got out of my first marriage because shortly after we got married he decided he didn't like the way I talks had asked me not to talk when we were out in company unless I could talk straight I'm not a lawyer but I was once buying a computer from someone on Craigslist and when I got to his house it was full of computers everywhere there were monitors laying on the floor and half built computers laying around full built computers all over the place and I'm talking expensive gaming computers not your everyday all-in-one computers we got to talking about why he had so many and the guy said he was just obsessed with them and he confessed that the reason his wife divorced him was because she said I was too obsessed with my computers I'm not a lawyer but I was once buying a computer from someone on Craigslist good enough for me the dog he bought me peed on the carpet to be fair it really tied the room together taught the parakeet certain cuss words for his wife the parrot lives with the man now I thought about going towards family law and then I realized I'm gonna have to deal with things such as who's gonna get the parrot and grandmas vars no divorce lawyer in London had a client who indulged in some recreational drug use his dealer lives in the same apartment building as him went down one day to pick up some of that sweet sweet coke when drug dealer female came to the door he could hear his wife in the background turns out that his wife also liked the higher life and was getting her fix in with the neighborhood dealer but it doesn't end there because they all get on so well they start having parties and hanging out parties become drug fuelled orgies and hey presto each week the husband and wife put their kids to bed and head downstairs to the dealer's flat for a feast off drugs and flesh a couple of months go by and the wife comes home and says she is leaving him to be in a full-time same-sex relationship with the dealer duties now stress AF but he can't score no more from his dealer who stole his missus just a reminder nobody in this story is as attractive as what you are thinking it's not a ridiculous reason it's a ridiculous scenario happened to a friend girlfriend wanted a cat even though it was against rules in that building my friend caved and they got one then she brought another one home without asking what he thought about it didn't get that one fixed it had two different litters when it was all said and done they had 12 cats in a two-bedroom house and she didn't think it was a problem even though it drove him out of his mind now but the story of the couple in Algeria always gets me groom sees his new wife for the morning after the wedding without makeup takes her foreign intruder and proceeds to sue for over $10 K for psychological trauma smelly feet though there's no divorce in my country only annulment my client can't stand the smell of his wife's feet lucky for him because incompatibility clause includes smelly feet I was smelling the whole process and the judge laughed examining the evidence of his wife having a smelly feet you have been visited by the romantic dog a comment love is magic so you never fall in the friendzone like and subscribe you magnificent person [Music]

Channel: On Tap Studios

Views: 260,986

Rating: 4.7757263 out of 5

Keywords: lawyers, reddit 1 hour, 1 hour, 1 hour reddit, 1 hour Reddit Compilation, reddit compilation, compilation, lawyer stories, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, sub, reddit cringe, memes, comment awards, dankify, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, story, stories, reddit on tap

Id: C3xWA-ylrM8

Length: 90min 7sec (5407 seconds)

Published: Sun Mar 22 2020