The Dumbest People On The Planet 🤦 (1 Hour r/AskReddit Compilation)

serious lawyers offered it what's the dumbest thing you've seen take place in front of the judge attorney when was the last time you did drugs defendant on stand checks watch I had a judge ask my client if he could pass a drug test he answered he could and was sure because he hadn't smoked in 30 days case had been pending for four months saw one defense attorney demonstrate working during closing arguments of an assault with intent to kill trial DUI duay drug defendants show up to criminal court with beer we D flick the police t-shirts constantly all their pockets it's like dude this isn't your first second or third trip to the courthouse you know there is a security screening at the entrance maybe it's not the best idea to put your glugs through the x-ray scanner which is even more amusing because such substances wouldn't set off the metal detector if kept on their person during the direct examination of the defendant the PD kept asking leading questions after five or so sustained objections in a row the judge had enough and sent the jury out of the room to yell at the PD during the cross about ten minutes later the judge again sent the jury out to yell at the defendant fell trying to tell his story instead of just answering yes or no questions not to mention he was clearly lying through his teeth also the defendant was recorded committing the crime so yeah he was later found guilty I was in front of a judge for oral argument and the other side proper failed to show up the judge called him and made him argue against our motion while driving and on his cellphone the judge spoke for a minute setting up the arguments for the guy basically leading him to the core argument and what he should be saying if he wanted to get our motion denied after a few moments of silence the guy responds judge I'm too stupid to understand what you just said that ended the argument quickly and in our favor I mean bonus points for honesty personal story I was sued once well they meant to sue me but actually sued my uncle same career named him in the documents and served him me being young and clueless thought I should go to the trial just in case my uncle told me I absolutely should not now here's where the opposing attorney screwed up they never once tried to interview or talk to me or my uncle law or they would have realized their mistake day of the trial my uncle actually made it to the stand from the way I heard it questioning was hilarious were you working on bla bla day number please read this payroll statement doesn't this payroll statement say you were working number look at this highlighted line isn't your name rvw 260 yes then you were working number this says kvw 260 was working my uncle said even the judge was laughing as he immediately tossed the case non-us lawyer we once had a client who was arrested for fraud the problem was his arrest warrant was riddled with errors half the time his name was changed to someone else's the dates were wrong and it ended by declaring the arrest warrant on the basis of robbery not fraud the client was actually egregiously guilty of committing fraud but he walked a free man because here the arrest warrant has to be written with the accused full name the exact crime he is being accused of in the date and place of said crime lesson 2 DA's and judges don't copy/paste without proof reading people finding religion in front of a judge of sentencing the judge would always respond with God may have forgiven you but the state has not that judge was a boss firm fair and a total baddest one guy I saw said Your Honor I haven't been drinking any more I have been clean for six months God as my witness the judge responded well a lot of people say that but the funny thing is not once have they ever been able to bring him and to testify the dumbest thing I've seen is a guy show up for not doing his community service in a shirt that said I'm not lazy I just don't like to work judge asked him about it and he said it was his only clean shirt everybody had a good laugh even the judge thirty days in the county pen seconds after being served with a protection from abuse order opposing party flipped off the person who had obtained the order and seconds after that approached her and asked if they could at least talk about it promptly arrested I'm doing jury selection on a civil case in California it is going to be a long trial six weeks so the judges giving jurors a lot of latitude if they claim any hardships for serving that long after about 30 minutes of whadya which ended up taking three days and several panels one guy stands up and says in very broken English that he can't follow the judge asks him if he speaks English well enough to render a fair verdict and he looks confused and says no the judge thanks him for his service and dismisses him from the panel in perfect English accent now gone he says thank you very much your honor where should I put my badge before I leave judge found him in contempt and ordered him to stay for jury duty for the next week usually you just stay for one day if you don't get picked for a jury in that day your service is over during a plea hearing on a prostitution charge the state proceeds to give the narrative of events the saw starts to get a little uncomfortable trying to describe the specific act that led to the arrest we all know the line he's reading is sucked his long dong but he's trying to find a nice way to say it for the record he finally goes where she Len euhh proceeded to perform euhh fellatio as soon as he says fellatio the defendant stands up and straight up yells I didn't do any of that French crap I gave him a [ __ ] clients said to judge well that's your opinion it went as badly as you'd expect crazy but sad we had an elderly local attorney introduce an exhibit into a divorce hearing of course we object to it somewhere in his argument into why it should be admitted he got turned around and started objecting to his own evidence another time a guide trying to get leniency on his fourth driving on revoked told the judge your dad and my dad were cousins we are family aside from the fact that that situation would also make the judge's cousin in a small County everyone our cousin's far enough down the line unfair dismissal case my client was summarily terminated for no reason she recorded the dismissal on a dictaphone the torrent of misogynistic hateful abuse her boss spewed at her was unbelievable he also assaulted her as she was removing the hands-free phone device from her car repeatedly slammed her leg in the door causing a fracture all the while screaming at the top of his lungs Frick you you piece of crap suffice to say we played that tape a million times in cross-examination euhh I hope there was more charges than just unfair dismissal it was more what didn't take place I was working for the DA's office and we had a guy schedule to appear for a vandalism charge the guy had a long history of minor offenses if the judge was an ax lenient mood that day so the guy was probably going to get off flight at the scheduled time he hasn't shown up his lawyer tells the judge he hasn't heard from the defendant that day we wait ten twenty thirty minutes at the half hour mark the judge is furious she angrily tells the lawyer to get out and find his client and get him before her no matter what it took or she'd rain heck down upon the defendant an hour later the lawyer slinks back into the courtroom the judge sees him and interrupts another lawyer to call him up to the podium the poor lawyer proceeds to tell us that a defendant didn't show up because he was actually sitting in jail two counties over having been caught trespassing the night before needless to say that defendant got the book thrown at him at the end of a DWI trial involving a pretty major wreck in which the defendant was found guilty the judge asked the defendant if he had anything he wished to tell the court during the sentencing phase the guy thought for a second and said Your Honor I'm real sorry normally I Drive a lot more careful when I'm drunk had a client toss his car keys on the defendant table moments before sentencing for his fourth our judge asked how he got to court without blinking said I drove why good way to gets a quick bail jumping charge for violating his no driving bail condition for anyone else who was wondering that's operating while intoxicated we all forget to turn off our phones in court but I once faced off against a lawyer whose phone rang right while he was in the middle of making his final submission to the judge even that might have been forgivable if he hadn't interrupted his submissions to take the call a lot of clients want to speak up the judge you don't understand but giving them the look of death and a jab in the ribs usually shuts them up pretty quickly they're usually pretty okay I found this gem doing some research one day quoted from the case as is evident from the foregoing excerpt from the transcript the judge would not permit the appellant to speak to the issue of judicial bias the appellant was agitated the judge was no doubt frustrated this exchange culminated in the appellant choosing to disrupt the proceedings by commencing to disrobe the appellant described her actions to the judge as a form of nonviolent protest which would continue until the judge would hear her motion for judicial bias wish I was there for that one I do family law told eleven clients in a row that they could be drug tested five panel P test you need to be clean for about a week as part of the custody evaluation process seven of them failed you need to be clean for a week to pass everything but toca it is detectable by a five panel for something like two four weeks depending on how often you smoke lawyer here I had a case where I was suing a lesbian on behalf of her former lesbian partner it was a relationship property case the one who was being sued put an issue whether they had even been lovers or whether my client was just a flatmate or boarder in her home for the several years they lived together I had no idea how I was going to prove that but it turned out my client had sable of the soppy love notes at her partner had left on the fridge most of which were I love you you little squishy oyster and other rebel descriptions that issue sank pretty quickly once the box of those were produced I've seen a woman pee herself situation wasn't so tragic to warrant it but she was sent back to jail so understandable a man called the judge by only his last name which is great if you think he'll reciprocate the upcoming fist-bump a large number of high drunk and other people say this is bulls also not a great technique in court like the first two I've got a pretty good one so hope this isn't buried husband and wife are going through a divorce and are having a custody hearing basically the attorney a is representing the father who wants to be able to have some rights to see his son but mother has already been awarded full rights father's attorney is super passive aggressive against the mother's attorney really rubbing everybody the wrong way eventually the mother's attorney snaps and quits back if he was as good of a father and husband as he claimed Lee wouldn't be here would we father's attorney has some dumb butt reply and the judge starts losing his cool another few comments later in the judge ends the hearing no adjudication just takes the filings and demands that the parties get out of his chambers this wasn't in the courtroom itself in the hallway the mother's attorney loses his crap starts yelling at the other attorney he yells back they get into a full-on yelling match in the courthouse then the father who is 230 lb plus steps between them to entreat them to chew out starts telling both his lawyer and the wife's attorney that they are acting like children people in the courthouse are giving their looks assistants peeking out of doors and the wife steps in and you're both acting like a couple of kids soon-to-be-ex-husband and I can handle this on our own then the couple who is in the middle of a vicious divorce step aside talk for a few minutes and walk back he's going to take Sun Tuesday night you two she points at the attorneys do whatever you need to do with the judge I don't know what happened with that case but it warmed my heart to see a father step between the two trained legal professionals and impress his wife so much that they were able to work things out the sad part the husband's lawyer saw it as a win for him because his conduct put his client in a position to break up the fight and show her that he is a great guy update for those asking this was in 2009 I don't know the final disposition of the case just that the mother agreed to let the father spend some time with their son and yes this is a true story I will never forget we had a defendant bust into the court from the local jail his case was called and he promptly walked up the podium look the judge dead in the eye and crap his pants jumpsuit he knew he was going back to prison and just wanted to cause as much havoc as possible people were gagging and there was a general sense of did that just happen in the air I'm going to start off with some context this event took place on the first day of a murder trial in the Hong Kong High Court now the official language used in the high courts of Hong Kong is English and not Cantonese the judge for this particular case was British but the lead prosecuting attorney was from Hong Kong whenever he spoke the judge had a hard time understanding him to make things worse the trial and evidence packet composed by the prosecution was a complete mess and did not include an English version during the opening statement the lead prosecution attorney decided that he needed to grab his colleague and act out the murder in order to get the message across this was not pre-planned and to make a long story short the judge adjourned about an hour into postpone the trial in order for the prosecution to sort out this mess that was the dumbest thing I've ever seen in a trial and I can't imagine how desperate the prosecution was to do such a thing a case where a large gangster type defendant was accused of slashing the throat of a small skinny guy the defense counsel made him wear a large coat to conceal his size and brought in an interpreter to slowly translate each word of the proceedings because he had absolutely no understanding of English ten minutes into the trial a cellphone goes off and rings for about a minute the judge is furious and the ringing is amplified in the large courtroom the hearing stops and everyone is looking around trying to figure out where the sound is coming from suddenly the defendant stands up and pulls the phone out of his pocket it is still ringing but only louder the defendant then yells hey judge I don't know how to turn my phone off the prosecutors response when the judge ruled the document would not be admitted into evidence but Your Honor we need that my favorite was a defense attorney in our courtroom giving his sentencing colloquy this was for a charge of getting intimate with a minor the attorney claimed that the defendant and the victim started out as friends and then physical intimacy just broke out the judge responds what like a rash the defense attorney didn't have much to say after that which was surprising by itself on a hearing regarding a restraining order requested against him a man raised the defense of BB Tripp in restraining order granted a good bless General Sessions Court my mentor and boss continually picks his nose in court I am continually horrified attorney did you call the defendant a busted be witness yes I did because she was going to jail attorney that's not nice is that a nice thing to say when I was in law school my school had a mock trial program that took place at the local County Court where the judges were actual judges prosecutors and attorneys from the local area so one day a mock trial is happening and one student who was a law student but not in the mock trial program his acting as a witness being questioned on the stand this person was getting a little too rude acting in character so the judge who was an actual judge so the judge admonished him to tone it down the student didn't listen so the judge took them to a little side chat and told him he really needs to stop the student blows up at the judge and tells him that he doesn't have to listen to a petty state court judge and proceeded to verbally assault the judge judge filed an assault charge student was kicked out of school for damaging the school's relationship with the local courts and I would imagine likely never got admitted to another law school or if they did would have a hard time passing the character and fitness test to practice law in that state lots of weird people in law school my school had several junkies who barely walk through the door stories like these are my favorite memories this is a much longer story but I'm on mobile anyways a guy came into court on a pervert charge his friend is a lawyer who comes into court with a black suit snakeskin boots and a bolo tie it is glorious how slimy he looks when he gets up to talk to the judge he says I've known John for twenty years and he is a good man but he is not a pervert sir I should know because I am one I miss working for the Durr so at the arrest stage when cautioned in the UK any response you give anything you say under caution is recorded and given as evidence one of these guys is arrested for a scrap and kicks off in custody calling us fen this C word that one custody officer goes sir calm down you realize everything you say will be recorded and told to the magistrate he replied oh freak the magistrate and their frickin Court the magistrate is a see caught day comes I'm called to provide evidence to show that the man was badly mannered and aggressive in nature amongst other statements and actions he made I say your worship whilst in custody the defendant did not calm and custody officer his attempts to calm him by warning him we would provide what he said as evidence to yourself was met with a freak the magistrate and their frickin Court the magistrate is a see well that was the end of my evidence and the court retired for a lunch break the magistrates went to town on him and sentencing I only have one was in court hearing a sentencing and the defendant not my client approaches the bench with his attorney the judge begins to go through the sentencing colloquy and the man says Frick you judge did the judge a female was pretty shocked and just said excuse me I said Frick you judge ain't no woman told me what to do in my life sentence me to whatever she just sat there dumbfounded for a second then alright fine mister I hereby sentence you to life in the penitentiary well that sounds freaking fantastic defendant was already doing a life without parole sentence and had this charge pending when he received his first sentence he knew he was basically untouchable and no matter what the judge did his sentence could never get worse one of my pro bono clients pulled out nail clippers and proceeded to clip her nails during oral argument two good stories from arguing motions one I was arguing a case should be dismissed because a decade long delay sketchy opposing counsel says to me where's your authority to show that delay is long enough judge says right here case dismissed and points to his file to opposing counsel asked if I was crapping him when I said despite a typo the motion could still be granted i crap you not he cursed during oral argument when I was a public defender I represented a woman in felony DUI trial it was a felony only because her license was already suspended when she got the DUI her back was point three zero yes not oh three and there were empty vodka bottles rolling around her car I found case law that said the state must prove she actually received notice that her license was suspended in order to charge it as a felony on my motion after the state's case again after the defense's case and a game after the jury verdict the judge grudgingly had to dismiss a felony part because the state couldn't prove the woman never received notice that her license was suspended the judge made a very clear record however that the conviction for DUI was solid and unaffected by dismissing the felony whatever we beat the felony which was the difference between four months in prison and 24 hours in county jail that's not the dumb part this woman was nucking futs and swore she wasn't drunk bulls she was drunk every time I ever talked to her and no one would dismiss her case she filed a lawsuit against the public defender's office my supervisor personally me personally the County Superior Court and the judge personally she would show up at the courthouse every day to read her file and Harris the court staff the judge eventually barred her from coming to his court without written permission she started wearing wigs and big hats and sunglasses to skulk around his court unrecognized and no idea what happened to her after that her back was 3.0 yes not oh three surely it must have been 0.3 or on a different scale from the conventional one around 0.5 is where there's a high chance of death from alcohol poisoning we had an expert witness testifying about gunshot residue he was asked about how long such residue would remain on a given surface his response before the court well I like to say it's like the difference between love and herpes herpes lasts forever mechanics of Reddit what's the dumbest thing you've seen someone do to their vehicle my old mechanic had a guy come in with a Ford Probe he claimed it was low on oil they take the dipstick out and the whole stick has oil on it he checks again with the same result the guy took the oil cap off and looked until down into the hole and said see at his low he had put 3-4 cases of oil in the motor trying to fill the entire block up the previous mechanic didn't know how to patch an exhaust leak and had tried to weld a rockstar can around the leak the leak caused the second oxygen bank to fail which is why they tried to patch it with the can but not a week later the bank read a failure again you don't weld it on you use some sealant and a couple of Jubilee clips this probably won't be the worst one in this thread I used to know a 30 year old who would put the car air freshener duct-taped outside the exhaust kind of just dangling in front of the opening his logic was it makes the exhaust smell better for pedestrians that's oddly sweet I had a customer once who had their oil light come on and couldn't figure out how to top the oil up he thought it might have worked like his boat motor so he poured a jug of oil in his fuel tank not a mechanic but former service writer woman comes in for an oil change some common minivan nothing out of the ordinary walked by the van while it was up on the rack and noticed one of the tires was nearly bald in the middle cords showing textbook over inflation I check the tire pressure was well overinflated then looked around the vehicle two more tires were in exactly the same state over inflated and showing damage from it the fourth was a bit under inflated no glaringly obvious tread wear pointed it out to the customer when she came back asked if there's any reason three tires would be overinflated long story short she was occasionally seeing a low tire light on the dash no indication of which tire just low tire told her husband and he just aired up all four tires happened again fixed the same way rinse and repeat so over time they kept the tire with the leak going but managed to ruin the other three bio tire pressure gauge if your car doesn't give you PO tire pressure readings sirens on bikes not cars and at least once a month we have someone coming that put chain lube or grease on their brake rotors because they were squealing and now wants to know why their brakes aren't grabbing completely fill their engine with oil and wonder why it's smoking and then locked up my mom filled the oil fill with water when the car was overheating she said that she knew it said oil but she didn't know where else to put the water the list is long removing PCV hose assorted vacuum lines Oh to sensor etc' thinking they are going to get better performance cutting a wire under the dash to hook up a stereo then bringing the car to me to fix the taillights pouring three quarts of oil in but the dipstick still shows low because they put the oil in the radiator putting gasoline in a diesel truck again that again just tops it all off you would think people learn good sometimes not and those stories can make the best jokes I bought my car off a guy for 785 dollars for all intents and purposes it worked fine but the guy said that it overheated almost daily 1999 Nissan Sentra manual 135 K miles if it didn't overheat it would have been closer to three dollars four K maybe even more I bought it anyways cause I could try fixing it and cause I was desperate for a car my old one died and I'll have ten miles from work so I brought the car home the guy filled the radiator per an agreement we made and the overflow tank was already empty I started feeling along the coolant piping and when I came to the thermostat sensor housing I could stick my fingernail inside the gap my fingers came out soaking wet with coolant went to a parts store spent ten dollars on a housing gasket three dollars on Similac wood gasket and fifty dollars on new oil a new oil filter a new air filter radiator cleaner and coolant spent an entire day putting that gasket in the reason it took so long is a freaking story and a half that was all about Murphy's Law changed the oil cleaned out the radiator and I haven't had any trouble since all in all a perfectly working car for about eight hundred and fifty dollars I kind of feel bad for the dude who sold it to me did the coop and a shop back in high school guy complains about how his car doesn't sit straight we pull it in and don't even need to put it on the lift to realize that he has 17-inch rims on one side and 15s on the other took me about 45 minutes of explaining to him why cars aren't made like that before he told us that he'd be taking his business elsewhere on a side note the side with the 15s were 100% bald like racing slick bald and everything in that car was falling to pieces I have too many stories of crap I found in people's cars there but this one has to be my favorite worked as a car cleaner at a dealership one summer in high school guy towed in a relatively new top-of-the-line Corvette he had bought there some time before I started he was pee that it had died on the road and been running like crap before that ranting and raving about he spent all this money and it only went X months years before completely breaking down one of my work buddies got it up on a lift and started looking it over he opens the oil drain plug and nothing comes out he pulls apart the engine and the oil could now be best described as glue owner talks to the guy and asks when the last time he changed the oil was guy had zero idea what he was talking about he had no idea that you had to do that he assumed you just added gas and that's the only thing you needed to do the engine was a complete loss which meant the car was a complete loss to him if there's one thing I can take away from this post it's that it's pretty astonishing how many people don't know or care to get their oil changed not a mechanic some years ago here where I live there was a fairly widespread craze of mixing oil I don't remember the type but it wasn't at all related with the engine like sunflower oil or something like that with diesel for better fuel consumption the thought was that this type of oil would burn anyway and mixed with diesel it would give the same kilometres for less money of course it wasn't the brightest of ideas so I remember that despite being fairly young I remember strongly advising against this practice my mother didn't listen to me and proceeded to top her Mitsubishi Pajero turbo great car for fuel economy I know with whatever loyal she used now to be fair the car held up pretty well despite the abuse which it's because it was a tank however it eventually succumbed if I remember correctly the fuel pump completely failed and had to be replaced entirely but I might be forgetting stuff the funny thing is though that the mechanic after looking at the engine for about three minutes or something like that asked almost angrily to my mother if she was using the oil when question how he knew that he said something along the line of it's the fourth this week that comes in with this issue I had a guy bring his motor swapped late 80s f 150 and for some transmission work these came factory with either a 300 straight-6 351 v8 or 460 v8 he put 2.3 liters carbureted 4-cylinder out of an old Ranger in it the reasoning behind the swap was that it had improved fuel mileage at the cost of some speed the thing could barely move under its own power if you floored it it would top out at about 55 miles per hour wide open and take a good minute or two to get there had a guy show up at a tire shop bragging about being blackout drunk and needed his tire changed he had his spare on with three stroke five lug nuts he had tightened them by hand and they backed off had to replace all the studs folks would come in asking for tire repairs patches on tires that were literally cut in half like you drove on the rim for a week split down the middle in half they'd get so offended when I explained they not only needed a tire but now a rim as well I've seen a fake intercooler on a Sun fire paper mash used instead of bondo the list goes on not a car mechanic but I knew a guy who used self-tapping screws to fasten a roof rack to his car must have run out of duct tape not a mechanic but a car enthusiast saw a couple of cars where owners didn't know what basic maintenance was like no oil change no brake pad change the oil turned into jelly and you had to scrape it out the most ridiculous thing weather breaks my mechanic friend showed me the brakes of an elderly lady's car the brake discs were gone like almost completely wiped down to like 5-6 nm she said to him the car feels weird while I brake if that sweet little old lady wants to drive around like that nothing's going to stop her lady stated that her car said low coolant so she filled up the coolant she made it about a mile and the car started running terrible and cutoff shop rolled back picked it up she filled up the coolant by removing the oil cap and topping the motor off with water let me tell you about diamond plate guy and focus bro diamond plate guy had two things he used to modify his truck a drill and a ton of diamond plate it was an absolute base model v6 Ram 1500 with the exhaust chopped off which I thought was bad enough until I opened the hood but he had drilled or glued diamond plate to every flat surface air filter box intake manifold fan shroud etc this was eighteen months ago my eyes still haven't recovered but this isn't the end he had some crappy wheels that he had painted white himself I know this because he painted the inside of the wheel where it seats to the hub which caused them to cease to sit hubs I literally had to buy a bigger hammer to smack them off focus bro guy had a custom straight pipe full Sparkle race seats five-point racing harnesses lowering springs and a base model automatic Ford Focus SE I bet focus bro would slip it into neutral had stock lights so he could take his foot off the brake and let it roll back giving the illusion on a manual to unsuspecting motorists not a mechanic but we do almost all of our farm equipment maintenance brother called during a hellacious snow storm telling me hurry get over here and bring beer I arrived with Bud Lights in hand he's got two lawn chairs under his carport we get a beer and settled in our chairs out of the snow we commence to watch in his meth town neighbors that are higher than kites push this Mustang they're trying to push start it after about 10 minutes we are hysterical they had been trying for almost two hours it was an automatic transmission you need to send an invite out to the rest of us next time I'll bring the snacks not a mechanic but while sitting in the shop waiting for my own car to have work completed I witnessed a customer and their mechanic talking about the customers car needing suspension repair the customer had tried unsuccessfully to do the repair himself the mechanic asked him why some lug nuts were missing and others were lose the customer replied how he thought he would be helping the mechanic by loosening the tyre for him the customer had driven 20 minutes to get to the shop with the tire held on by a few loose lug nuts dude spending thousands of dollars modifying their pickups for a fruiting even though they spend 99.99% of the time on highways and the furthest off of the road they ever get is a logging road that a stock forester could tackle with no problems and then complain about extra crappy fuel mileage and having to pay for new 35 inch knobby tires that only last 10k miles because they wear out super quickly if you drive mostly on pavement and having to replace their front wheel bearings every other year because those larger wheels and tires are a lot heavier than the stock ones and being super surprised to learn that parts for a three-stroke 4 ton pickup can cost multiple times more than the comparable ones for the small sedan they sold to afford their broke truck service advisor here hope it's ok I post this had this happen a few months ago it's a copy and paste from my FB where I'm typically post stories like this customer brings in cut last week Wednesday with shaking issue cool take care of some of the issues the car actually has leaves ten times better issues include bad axles TSB on diff dirty transmission fluid blown rear shocks needing oil service done and gone we listed the recommendation still required but customer declined only did axle and diff fluid service today same customer over the phone customer what in [ __ ] heck did you do to my car me what's the issue customer the issue is back and it's [ __ ] 1000x worst what the heck did I pay you for me okay well if it is our repair that caused the problem we are more than willing to see what's going on didn't replicate anything after test-drive so unfortunately we can't determine it's the same issue without checking it out a customer I demand a tow truck to be sent out and you guys have to flip the bill on this I'm not paying for this nonsense me sir not a problem if it is work we've done we are happy to pay for the tow and correct the issues but be advised if the issue is due to the other recommendations or new issue you will be responsible for the tophi customer yeah that's fine I know it's what you guys did anyway me okie Dokes tow truck will be there within the HR tow truck picks car up notices issue tells customer notes it on receipt customer signs and acknowledges it coming back to this in a second get car puncture on rear right out a tire sidewall nice welt and gash the size of a penny tire completely deflated tow driver noted this tailed customer and wrote it out and had customers sign it grab air hose or cup to tire just wheezing air out me well then me yes sir you had a flat tire and you we're driving on it customer nope not possible it left here fine and I barely drove it home and it's satins I picked it up from you guys me according to the receipt you acknowledge the puncture with the tow truck driver and sign it off knowing it was flat but we did install the spare drove about 10 miles on street and fwy and we cannot replicate the issue at this time you can hear customer trying to find receipt hangs up guess who just paid 75 point zero zero on a tow bill mechanic here lots of stories one guy has OCD and got a license plate cool to clean only let one guy now shop touch his base model Dodge Dakota 2007 had to double up on gloves and he would watch under sprayed his car with chrome spray I work primarily on equipment operator calls us out to his machine saying he had a crack on his boom think the first time on a large excavator I get out there and the whole boom has broken off and is on the ground my favorite boo had to be the operator who blew a hydraulic hose in a forestry setting maybe $200 to change the hose decided he wants to walk the machine out to make the hose easier and runs a machine out of oil blowing up the hydraulic pumps $26,000 to travel munters eight thousand dollars each and the auxiliary pump two thousand five hundred dollars ish the machine was down for two months for him deciding to walk an extra 50 meters out of the bush so he didn't have to walk the extra distance I have tons of stories about lazy operators but this is probably the laziest law bad snow day for whatever Frick reason we were open guy pulls up needing a flat repair he pulled up in a way the car could be just pulled in coworker goes to pull it in and can't stop slams into his box wasn't going fast enough to damage anything car have zero brakes say something to the customer oh the foot brake that hasn't worked in years you have to use the hand brake we inspect the vehicle and discover it doesn't even have brake calipers in the front with the hoses clamped off and not an ounce of brake fluid in the master cylinder and the most surprising part they didn't want to get the brake repairs done guy was convinced his tires were different sizes because they're rotating at different rates like he jacked up each wheel and put the valve stem at the top went for a drive and they were not lined up anymore I had to explain it with chalk and string in the parking lot a customer brought their vehicle to the dealership I used to work for an airbag recall they had bedazzled everything on the interior - including the covers for the airbags on the steering wheel and on the passenger side I'm not sure she understand the fact that airbags have enough power to turn anything into shrapnel at least they'd look fabulous when they show up to the morgue I worked as a Chevy dealer and now work at a jag you land rover dealer I'm not surprised at people's stupidity anymore more than once I've seen people add oil to the coolant reservoir I've seen the inside of a motor where the customer never changed the oil since it was new when the car had 50 xxx miles on it the dumbest thing I see every day is people come in with broke suspension parts bull tires and no brakes they don't buy any of it and just want the oil change and insist we are trying to rip them off but the same person will come in raising heck over a small safety recall and refused to leave until it's done because the cars and safe lady had a brand new at the time Subaru and was complaining about horrible gas mileage people complain about gas mileage all the time and it's usually because of driving habits I get the car in and it looked like she hit something in the road and ripped a big hole in the gas tank and all the fuel she put in poured right out onto the pavement it was in fact a valid pour fuel economy complaint after all Tsuru many people hammer on battery terminal ends the types of terminals have changed with modern vehicles but people still don't understand that batteries are led in plastic don't beat an hammer on that crap you will destroy your brand-new $100 plus battery and no there is no warranty if you smash it with a dang hammer my dad once poured wiper fluid into where the brake fluid goes it was my relatively new car so he wasn't familiar with it and also clearly not paying attention he tried to tell me it was probably fine but I made him take it to a mechanic and pay to have it drained and fixed properly I bet the mechanic had a good laugh that day and my dad learned a fairly costly lesson about paying attention knew someone who sought a did the opposite put antifreeze in the windshield wiper fluid reservoir their reasoning antifreeze doesn't freeze so if I use it in the winter the windshield wont ice up it was brutal she didn't actually do anything that a girl at my school noticed her check engine light came on and she wasn't sure what to do so she started asking around teacher told her to take it to a mechanic and have them look at the engine she goes okay where's the engine without missing a beat teacher responds that compartment in front of the passenger seat that opens up glove compartment really the whole thing ended with a class trip outside to her car where the teacher opened the hood to show her the engine she asks which thing in there is the engine my poor teacher used to work on classic cars and I'm very sure he wanted to die , my poor teacher used to work on classic cars and I'm very sure he wanted to die I too want to die from just reading this I don't know much about cars but this is a whole new level of not knowing how cars work Millennials overed it what's the stupidest the problem with your generation as you have ever heard somewhat related my wife went to a generational differences seminar aimed at some pc sounding crap where they discussed basically how to coexist with your co-workers decades older or younger than you to work effectively the presenter read an article and it said the current workforce fears the incoming generation will enter the workforce feeling entitled demanding a high wage with a work-life balance the presenter then went on to ask can anyone guess which generation they were referring to pretty much the entire room said Millennials with much disdain the presenter corrected them and said actually the article I just read was from 1948 it turns out people will always hate the incoming generation forever guaranteed when I did tech support for one of Australia's largest Isis in escalations they only got to me if they actually had a legit problem and not just forgot to turn the freaking computer on I interacted with literally thousands of customers across a range of demographics shown on their profile by age as a form of identification and distinct age base patents began to emerge once you had resolved the issue the different generations would typically respond like so one the greatest generation oh thank you so much for your time and patience with a silly old duffer like me I really can't keep up with all this technology two baby boomers about frickin time now what am I getting in compensation for this inconvenience I want you to put me through to complaints a manager the three Gen X ah there we go back online that's great have a good one for Millennials oh thank god thanks for getting it working so how much do I have to pay for this fix nothing seriously dang Thanks the accuracy here made me shudder the problem with your generation is you kids don't know how to get in trouble anymore When I was your age we'd have someone buy US beer and we sneak off to the woods or the lake and have a good time but someone always got caught of course then you'd get grounded and have no TV for a week kids just don't do that anymore I'm okay but I'm 30 my dad has told me so many stories of the stupid crap he and his buddies did in high school all I could think was man if I did that I'd get arrested convicted of something ridiculous and would never have been able to get half the jobs I've worked one I heard from a Vietnam vet was that we never had a mandatory military draft to weed out the weak ones and the whiners and that a war would do us milennials all a little good I was talking to my boss about HQ and the $50,000 prize they were giving out and he was saying how he'd go on a grand vacation and buy a big shiny car if he won I told him I'd pay off my school and car loans and start a savings account he laughed and proceeded to make fun of stupid Millennials for not knowing how to handle money ke that we don't buy silver flatware the cosna too lazy to polish it don't want to buy the stupid knickknacks that they their parents bought etc I work in the antiques field so I hear that a lot they always quote that statistic that we want to spend our money on experiences rather than things and I fail to see how that is a bad thing now maybe I am lazy but the idea of spending more money on something that requires more attention and upkeep doesn't actually do its job any better is just well done I'm not gonna buy myself more fruitless work to do I was walking down the hallway at work and overheard the thing with Millennials as they come and go whenever they want how are we supposed to schedule a meeting when they refused to have set house as a millennial I still work eight five like everyone else in the office it was oddly specific but generally incorrect maybe he was talking about an intern that still in school well not quite answering the question my friends grandma made a comment yesterday about how Millennials don't have China because we can't put it in the dishwasher and we don't like to hand wash dishes I made a comment under my breath about how it's because China is expensive and not worth splurging on or my boss who made a comment about how Millennials don't care about money I've been looking for a new job since the goddang participation trophies we didn't ask for them that was our parents idea and yet somehow that makes it our fault for doing entitled irrational things like wanting to be able to buy a home with a middle-class income here's a thing that we insisted you get that you probably don't even want and we're going to blame you for getting for the rest of your life baby boomers that we are killing the chain restaurant industry my boyfriend and I don't eat out that much so if we are going to spend the money to sit down somewhere and eat we want to go somewhere that has good original food also isn't it the industry's fault from not keeping up with their new market Millennials think the world owes them something and are always expecting a handout I work in social media for a food company the only people who message and email us asking for free samples and products are firmly age 40 plus yet anyone who's worked customer service knows the most likely culprit to be an entitled irrational human being is someone who's elderly or middle-aged Millennials aren't having enough children or consuming enough really I thought we would have freaking been happy about the slowing of population grown in materialism we are they don't have to be there happiness isn't my responsibility and I don't need their approval I just had this discussion with my sister this weekend she said Millennials act entitled she didn't realize we are Millennials a lot of baby boomers seem to think a lot of things around fault never mind that they've been the primary voting bloc for as long as we've been alive and then some my dad has blamed me for voting away all our rights since before I could vote my dad has told me before I am not working enough and that my jobs at real I have two real jobs that are paying me real money my oldest brother also has two jobs that pays him significantly less but I have never heard him harp on him my mom has this weird attitude that just because my work involves being in front of a computer all day somehow means that it's not a real job like geez just because he chose a line of work that requires you to be on your feet for at least half the day doesn't mean that people don't do pure mental work while sitting down anything that assumes Millennials are still children young teenagers Millennials in their obsession with free healthcare back in my day we just died sounds great actually tuition is just as expensive not a millennial but Toys R Us Bain Capital blaming their bankruptcy on Millennials not having children is absurd I'm a millennial with two kids some of their stuff is okay the furniture mostly but their prices are absurd it's easier to buy something cheaper on Amazon I'm always thoroughly annoyed by the Millennials are lazy complaints that boomers have I've been called lazy and a freeloader by so many people because I still live at home with my parents what they fail to realize is that I'm neither I live with my parents because I don't have a family of my own yet and my parents would be royally flicked if I wasn't living there I make more than my father does I pay rent I own and pay the insurance for the car that gets me to work my father to work my brother to work and until recently my SIL to work she lost her job it also gets my mom back and forth to wherever she needs to go groceries TC and was responsible for getting my grandmother to her doctors appointments prior to her passing I paid to replace the septic tank at our house I paid for a new refrigerator stove washer and dryer when ours died I paid to have our in shambles bathroom repaired it's to the point that my parents have offered to put my name on the house as well I stay with my family because I don't need to be on my own and I love my family and don't want to see them struggle financially if I can help it it just makes sense for us to stay together for now but yep what a freakin freeloader I am you don't live with your parents your parents live with you I had an older customer at my restaurant tell me that Millennials were ruining customer service because we're so laid back we don't complain enough and pretty soon the customer is always right won't mean anything anymore so what you're saying is that entitled baby boomer snowflakes are dying out and being replaced with chill customers I'm failing to see the problem here Linda oMG I've been complaining about that customer is always right comment for yours people abuse that crap way too much I do agree with you I hardly ever complain people make mistakes no biggie just fix the problem and don't be a dong my grandma though she'll cuss you out in a second always calling the 800 number or demanding to talk to her manager blows my mind when I was in college like two three years ago we had an alumni come in that worked in sales for Fox he started talking about how Fox has been struggling mightily to attract millennial viewers and that they're completely stumped on how to get us to watch them not five minutes later he starts talking about how Fox has specialized workshops to teach employees how to work with Millennials in the office because we're lazy and stupid and how we're the first generation that just doesn't want to work typical eye-rolling crap so yet I have no idea why Fox isn't attracting millennial viewers couldn't possibly be that they think so little of us that they think they need specialized trainers to work with us or anything it's not we don't want to do work it's we don't want to be abused employees always expecting to help form one another and say yes to everything in an environment where you are constantly told you are expendable you gotta work to live but I'm not about living to work a co-worker from a different Department resigned and a group of managers was trashing the decision that generation has no loyalty just a bunch of lazy Millennials I spoke up and said I was part of that generation I was in fact a bit younger and that it was kind of dumb to make generalizations based on age alone one said something about how the former employee had seniority over me so it was probably a matter of time for me I pointed out that I had more seniority than the employee and that manager combined she didn't believe me but asked the director later to confirm she hopped jobs every three years and actually was working there when I first started and left for 80 years yet blamed agent perceived laziness and didn't want to be challenged on her mindset I think the idea of company loyalty is absurd and outdated anyway I'm sure there are some exceptions but more often than not the company or organization doesn't give two licks about you on a family vacation well my siblings and I were making an observation on a dog in a back of a truck my dad snapped and told us that Millennials think that they can comment on everything and they need to learn to shut their traps my siblings are Jen's ed I barely count as a millennial sounds like he's projecting his crappy childhood they can talk about their struggles but they're not allowed to talk about ours might not be the most stupid but the most annoying to me is the problem with your generation is you're all whiny snowflakes who are too worried about feelings this is always made by a boomer in a long emotionally-driven rant overloaded with projection the irony is lost on them that we don't want to work are you kidding me first of all we want to work but it's hard to work when you need to and paid internships to even get your foot in the door also that we don't want to buy houses many Millennials grew up during the housing crisis houses under great investment they mean taking more loans and the average salary of a 30 year old hasn't increased in 30 years while everything else has it's not as if one can buy homes a few of my friends do but it's not a matter of not wanting something little conversation I had with a friend once I don't understand if school is so expensive why don't you get a job that will help you pay for it everyone's hiring yes Carol they're hiring at minimum wage 20 hours a week that doesn't cover rent let alone an education don't forget about the expectation of 20 4-stroke 7 availability for a 20 per hour week job my old boss had three sons my age early mid-twenties at a time who didn't go to college and just worked part-time jobs and flicked around all day on their parents dime she attributed that to the millennial generation she went on one day about how Millennials just can't get out of bed and do work they are opposed to do anything but play video games all day and get drunk at night with their friends I said well some maybe but everyone I know is working full-time on a career track she lost it made some vague threats about me being useless and how I should be thankful to have this job based on my abilities 20 minutes later I was showing her how to copy and paste documents onto a flash drive for the tenth time they call you disrespectful when you won't let him disrespect you I am personally a fan of the complaints about Millennials being too incompetent to get a job especially when it's coming from a person who has stubbornly held onto a position well past retirement age with an irrelevant outdated skillset that would not get them hired if they were searching now how long am I going to have to contend with superiors who can't figure out Microsoft Office I think the worst one was a post where an older lady was saying that we were so important o'problem when someone says thank you instead of saying you're welcome let's meet halfway and start saying your problem I am a student dentist had a baby boomer patients say that my generation of doctors relied too heavily on technology this was in response to me looking up their medication on my iPad you're right we'll just put away this local anesthetic millennial are somehow both too sensitive and overexposed to ludendorff violent movies shows videogames too sensitive and some things and overly desensitized in others avocado toast is the reason we aren't buying houses maybe it's because student loans are already as expensive as a mortgage I wish I was in a position in life where something as small as food under $6 much cheaper at home made was what's keeping me from buying an entire house Millennials are too obsessed with phones their pocket devices that allow me to keep in contact with friends and access any information in the world Frick yeah I'm going to use my phone my own mother went on a dinner date last week took a picture of a couple my age on their phone during their date and posted their picture on Facebook laughing at Millennials I told her that maybe they simply enjoy each other's company and the fact that they're sitting together is nice enough without taking pictures of other couples on a date and insulting them at family gatherings all my baby boomer aunts and uncles are staring at their phones too probably the one that gets me the most is your generation is killing the chain restaurant business oh you mean we support small businesses and found somewhere better to spend a Friday nights then at Applebee's or Chili's paying for overpriced food or you've got it so easy everything you want is right at your fingertips with that cellphone when in reality it's so much more dangerous to have a phone on top of everything you could unwillingly see or find on the internet just one social media post could absolutely ruin your reputation career family etc we are under the microscope like no other generation before us I'll trade places with baby boomers and go to college for basically free and own a home before the age of 21 any day ridet what is a dumbest question a customer or client has ever asked you at your job working in the back of an ambulance on a patient with a serious need of nitroglycerin to lower their blood pressure sir before I give this medication to you I need to triple check that you have not taken any IDI drugs in the last 72 hours like the ogre or Silas rattles are full variations if you have taken it and I you this nitroglycerin your blood pressure could drop dangerously low have you taken any of these meds oh no never are you certain oh yes of course I am runs through potential deadly side effects again no never okay hold this pill under your tongue does generic velcro count gah why do you do this pharmacist here I feel your pain why I sent them an invoice sigh I work for an accounting firm we did a project for them wrapped it up and build it a few months later they came back with another project so we did the work and gave them the bill they somehow thought that the new project was covered under the previous invoice I get too many dumb questions to remember them all here's a dumb encounter that happened just yesterday when sending confidential documentation we would encrypt it and put a password on it it's common practice to send the document and the password and two separate emails I got a message from this guy saying he couldn't open the document I sent him me did you use the password client yes it said there was an error me what password did you use client I just hit okay and it said that I had the wrong password me wait so did you type anything in client well number me could you use the password that we provided you client I didn't think it would work so I deleted the email me I tried nothing and I'm all out of ideas a group of four ladies sat on a table that is reserved for a group of regulars every day before I opened my mouth to less em no one says we see a reserved sign but we are unsure exactly how reserved it is long time ago now got a call that a user's laptop was dead and wooden power on I go and check it out press the button no life plug get into the power it starts charging press the button it boots just fine the user wasn't plugging the laptop into power because she thought we had wireless tried to diagnose someone's connection problem for 20 minutes before I overheard splashing and kids asked where they were and they were at a pool they thought the office Wi-Fi extended to anywhere on the planet apparently mildly relevant I used to work the counter in parts at Subaru and my manager was helping a customer a rare occurrence for him and he turned to me and asked me how many days do we have for a 45 day return selling paint woman wants to paint her fence I give her advice and explain to her how to prepare the surface she then asks do I need anything to apply the paint I'm likely a roller or a brush she's like oh I can just splash the paint on the fence she was dead serious woman this is not Looney Toons this is the real world vet tech a lot of people think their dog's nipples are ticks a lot one man even pulled a booties are born us I used to work as a bank teller a lady came up to me and asked withdraw money I informed her that she couldn't withdraw money because her account was overdrawn she was immediately upset so I had her account checked for fraud she then explained that all those charges were hers and she wasn't expecting any payments she was spending money she knew she didn't have she then asked me why we couldn't just give her more money this is my grandmother she over draws hundreds a month and couldn't understand why they wouldn't give her a loan for my name not a question itself but the reason why I asked I was volunteering as cashier at a used bookstore for the library not my regular job but I do it often in comes this elder fella who buys a big stack of books for like 10 bucks he was really nice and chatty though he didn't seem completely aware mentally not a big deal I just had to explain sales tax in the book pricing a couple times before he seemed to get it he pays by credit card and I explained to him how to sign the touchscreen for the payments to go through this is where he asks for my name I tell him he takes the iPad and says he really appreciated my service and happily tells me he's going to sign my name for the card so they will know to send the money to me before I can say no wait he submitted the signature I can't see his receipt but he keeps telling me I was great and to keep the change so I can't assume he was being legit I honestly wouldn't call it dumb just bizarre made me wonder if he's been signing cashier names the entire time he's had a credit card thank goodness the card companies never check those things thank goodness the card companies never check those things I remember reading this story about this guy maybe it was a rigid comment about this guy who consistently signed his receipts with a dildo of a dong the first time he decided to be a grown-up and signed his actual name the bank contacted him because they were concerned about possible fraud a co-worker at a video store asked does this calculator do math no unfortunately all it does is roll cigarettes when I asked for here or to go I got a confused look followed by what would you recommend definitely to go can we open the curtains to make the screen brighter while pointing at a projector and screen setup she seriously thought that more light in the room would make everything brighter as if the projection was some sort of moving painting I work a navy I can confirm I've gotten this also I get this doesn't look like it does on my computer of course projecting light looks different than in LED display especially when you rent the cheapest projector for the biggest screen size I worked at Kinkos and on three separate occasions different people and really asked me why I returned their fax documents to them they thought that a fax machine was some kind of Willy Wonka thing that sent their original piece of paper to the recipient a few years ago far more recent than it should be I had to send a document to the local council they asked me to fax it I asked if I could just scan and email it and they said no because we need the original I used to work in a call center for a large bank and a customer phoned while he was in one of the branches and said that cue was too big so he wanted me to help him I asked what his query was and he said the ATM was broke so he had to withdraw cash I asked how I could possibly help him withdraw cash from the bank over the phone and he said why can't you just fax it to me so apparently a lot of people out there think fax machines are the Star Trek transporter see how much is this me 50 see like the sticker says see and this one me one dollar all the items have labels on them with how much they cost see oh is that waters mean that's clever not the slightest bit of sarcasm in their voice i press slightly and found they were genuinely unaware of price labels you met a time traveler renovating a major hospital when the owner changes their mind again and wants to change the plan after we've started construction you guys can take care of that right with no extra cost oh and the end date won't change will it we sure as Frick can't Steve and it sure is Frick well those changes are gonna cost another $100,000 and now we need to go by completely different materials and figure out what the Fricke are talking about the schedule is fricked now this is why construction never ends on the first given in date while towing his car to a dealership so what do you do for a living he was serious he assumed I had another job because I didn't fit the billy-bob persona he associated with tow truck drivers I did this with a realtor that was showing me a few houses I'm a realtor that makes sense I just got lost in the small talk and had a brain fart library once I checked out several books to a woman and told her the return date she looked at her friend then back at me and said short you mean I have to bring the books back similar but opposite at a book store I worked at we changed our return policy from one month to 14 days and so many customers and release outed that they can't possibly finish a book that fast we calmly told them that's the we aren't the library when you buy book it's to keep I used to work in computer sales and repairs had a customer come up who was maybe 23 years old saying she couldn't get her laptop to open something so I take it and open it and casually ask what is it you can't get open she looks at me shocked as I open the laptop screen and tells I have been trying for hours to get IT to open how do you do that I look at her not knowing how to respond and close it and open it again she takes it and walks out saying thank you I took a long look at my computer I was working on and decided that this was the moment that made me quit that job I work at an Italian restaurant and this guy was looking at ordering a salad and when I asked what dressing he wanted he kept going back to the pasta sources and asking Sugo that would be good on it wouldn't it I'll get that and I tried to explain sir those are for the pastors you got the Mediterranean salad and he responded you're right maybe carbonara another source I don't get what he wasn't understanding he seemed like a normal smart dude but he just couldn't comprehend the difference between the dressings and sources I work in father and someone called yelling at me to stop selling her son weed I think she took the definition drug company way too literally I worked at a Mongolian restaurant that served white rice a guest honestly did not know what rice was when I offered him some I had to explain it as those little white things after 10 seconds of me trying to figure out if he was just messing with me he looked at me still confused and I just said never mind someone once asked me why are you guys making it so difficult to find a car parking spot this time of year it was Christmas time and I was a casual working in a tiny store in a huge shopping centre I didn't even know what to say because we hate you library Clark here do you have a phone book for celebrity phone numbers no sir no we don't I worked at Old Navy and an elderly lady walked in and asked where the boats were she had never been inside an Old Navy and assumed that was some sort of boating store not a question but someone once effectively told me they were allergic to air I used to work in an opticians where we'd carry out pressure tests a few puffs on air onto the surface of you I wear quite literally the machine just blows your eye with yup air the customer was adamant she was allergic to it couldn't have it done and in fact accused me of no knowing what I was talking about I see you met my grandma this one was just two hours ago one of my users came today with an iPad when I asked what the problem was she said that when she holds the power button and home button down for 10 seconds it just shuts off and takes a minute to restart and that was a whole problem that if she holds the power button it turns off she called it the fricking power button I used to work at a fine jewelry kiosk in a mall our jewelry included items like gold bracelets and necklaces bonded with sterling silver sterling silver rings with cubic zirconia gems gold engagement rings with diamond chips clustered together rather than one large diamond etc I had a lot of regulars and this one woman would come in often and ask off every item she was interested in is this real I explained what bonded means and how we don't sell diamond rings for $25 but that the rings were indeed certified sterling silver with synthetic gems I gave her information like this over and over again day after day and she would follow up every explanation with ok but is it real it's a real ring yes I used to work at a grocery store deli my coworker for some reason got more stupid questions than anyone else we'd swap stories every shift but one went a little like this hi what can I get you the 8 piece chicken how many pieces are in it how how many pieces are in the 8 piece chicken I'm there are eight pieces in the eight piece chicken okay I'll have that please to be fair the lady was awfully polite but how many pieces are in the eight piece chicken is still a stupid question can I have chicken medium-rare no no you cannot I once had the exact same thing happened girl can I have the steak medium-rare please guy I would like the chicken medium-rare as well please me I can't do that sir that's salmonella then she had to explain why you can't eat chicken medium-rare whenever I answer the phone I have to say good morning afternoon and there now Hotel name so many people interrupt me halfway through this to ask if they called the correct hotel some even after I just said that I work in a bank actually not even a bank it's an advice center so no cash or anything like that not that anyone reads the signs on the way in had a pair of women come in and one says that the other is visiting from France and needs to check how much is in her account and can I tell her I asked if she's a customer on this Bank thinking maybe she's a student learning English and has set up an account because that's quite common but no she wanted me to tell her the balance in her French bank account how do people go around having no idea what's going on work at a zoo and one year they did a big TV advert to highlight night zoo since we are open until 9:00 p.m. during summer at around noon a woman asked me where was the night zoo I said here but in six hours working as a flight attendant London to Miami and business class mum with one toddler and one five-year-old boards immediately spots me and asks where is the crash I'd like to clarify my airline does not and has never offer child care on board she was adamant we shouldn't continue to palm her children off on the crew for the rest of the flight luckily the kids were fairly quiet the crash is beside the swimming pool I won't get into my job but I am routinely asked what 80% or 85% of 100,000 pounds --is I work at an independent pet store we sell mostly dog supplies but there's a small section of cat toys catnip et Cie near pretty Jim a key item we brought in as a line of cat Nick that is packaged to look like medical weed there are the prescription bottles and pre-rolled joints now the people know these are catnip products but I've had multiple people ask after puzzling over the pack of raw paper rolled catnip joints but how does the cat smoke at all how can they even hold the lighter they've got paws I never do quite know how to reply besides muddled laughter I work in a poker room at the front counter Kim can we get a table me sure what would you like to play him no for dinner me looking around we don't serve food here this is a poker room him grumbles and walks away I worked at Wendy's through high school and part of college one day a man in his 50s wearing a bright magenta suit walked in and ordered a burger I asked him do you want a combo or just the sandwich and he asked what is a combo I explained to him that it was a sandwich with fries and a drink but somehow he didn't understand he looks at me blankly and asked I want fries and a drink but what is the combo we went back and forth on this for like five minutes I don't even remember if he ever got what a combo was or if he ended up getting it I do remember however that I saw him two weeks later in a different City at my other job training political canvasses he was wearing the same magenta suit I was in such shock that I just stared at him saying nothing thinking it's the combo guy do you guys sell ice here no sir sorry about that all right er got anything like ice comma ylim what got any euhh real cold water had a customer asked for a 100% LED crystal decanter I had just explained to him what 20 % lead crystal meant no you can't get 100% led cos it wouldn't be crystal and also it'll kill you worked at a small fine-dining steakhouse in high school the restaurant closed at 10:00 p.m. and one day a table decided to take their sweet time with everything so it was now 12:30 a.m. and I still had homework to finish in school the next day one brick at the table asks man I bet you really wants us to get out of here don't you yaar no crap but I couldn't tell him I did told him well while I have school in a six hours providing good service means treating every customer as if they're your first one of the night shot myself in the foot ride there they didn't leave until almost 2:00 a.m. and I was late to school the next day I'm surprised your manager let that slide people don't believe that I'm a sushi delivery guy because I'm white in high school a while back I worked at a Tim Hortons and we were advertising that we had just put in free Wi-Fi old guy at the drive-thru asked for a free we fee we asked him again and he repeated himself it wasn't for a few seconds we realized he didn't know what Wi-Fi was in thought it was some sort of free promotional item maybe not necessarily dumb on his part but it was really funny and turned into an inside joke at the store my dad was a park ranger our IP pops he had many hilarious stories the best was when he was just starting out at the Grand Canyon he had learned the finer points of customer service nor the depths of people's stupidity yet a visitor made a comment on a Ranger led to of the rim that the Grand Canyon must have made a tremendous noise when it pops open dad said yet imagine the noise it'll make when it slams shut the visitor was not amused worked at Best Buy in the two dumbest ones are these dude where are your heavy-duty TVs at me is it going in a business thinking Lee means it'll be on at all times like at a bar dude no it's going in my living room me what are you planning to use this for dude for watching what else me sorry I'm just confused why it needs to be heavy-duty then dude well I dunno you tell me you all are the ones advertising these HD TVs second one dude these are LED TVs me yes dude they run on electricity me as opposed to dude I dunno me yes sir they still need electricity you have been visited by the wisdom papa type study well popper or you will fail your next text of school if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check out another video poured out either way have a great day you magnificent people [Music]

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Views: 221,234

Rating: 4.7815418 out of 5

Keywords: dumbest, 1 hour, reddit 1 hour, compilation, dumbest criminals, dumbest people ever, dumbest people on the internet, #updootst, updoot, updoot reddit, updoot everything, reddit on tap, toadfilms, pewdiepie, reddit, askreddit, funny reddit, reddit stories, top posts, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, /r, r/, r/askreddit, top posts of r/, askreddit reading, best reddit posts, top posts of all time, people of reddit, askreddit question, ask reddit, subreddit, sub

Id: I-IOm5cjCrs

Length: 78min 34sec (4714 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 19 2020