IELTS Live - Task 2 Finish - Band 9 Writing

welcome to today's live ielts class my name is adrian and i'm streaming to you from beautiful victoria here the capital city of british columbia on the west coast of canada i hope everybody has had a lovely week and is looking forward to an awesome weekend staying healthy staying strong uh welcome sushma lin irfan jassour good to see many students in the class we had a little bit of a technical issue there at the beginning so thank you for your patience i had to do a hard restart on the system but no worries here we are and we're ready to learn we are looking at ielts task two specifically finishing a high band essay looking at the body paragraphs and the conclusion just to introduce the foundation of our program this lesson is presented to you by aehelp.com for academic ielts success visit us there for the general ielts check us out at g-i-e-l-t-s help dot com that's general ieltshelp.com on both of those websites we have loads of information to help improve your grammar your vocabulary your communication and your scores for the ielts exam this is our academic ielts website here all you do is click that big red button you join the premium package and you start learning for some great scores for the general ielts it's the green background again click that big red button there we are an official ielts test registration center and certified agents by the british council so you're in great hands with us we can help answer your questions should you have them you can just send me an email to adrian aehelp.com if you want to get our apps look for academic isles help in general i'll tell in your app stores everybody sar beer sarveer sarvir is the pronunciation there okay sarvir all right um so we've got this task two class today we've got speaking classes uh tomorrow on sunday we're premiering episode five inquiry on results for my band 9 owls journey let's get into some writing highly trang hi ma'an sd soho good to see you on the general english channel hi you jin thank you for the weekend emojis all right everyone so this was the question that we started with yesterday we're just going to review the question the introduction and we'll get right into the body paragraph writing so the question was you should spend about 40 minutes on this task some people feel that the design of newly constructed buildings in big cities should be controlled by governments others believe those who finance the construction of a building should be free to design it as they see fit discuss both these views and give your opinion give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience okay so both sides have to be included we paraphrased this question so that we can clearly understand it gather some vocabulary this is not your introduction certain individuals ascertain that the architecture of newly built structures in metropolitan areas ought to be regulated by authorities opponents to this idea feel that the investors should have control over the look of these buildings according to their preferences explain both these perspectives and give your own opinion include your own experiences so as i explained to you uh one really good way to think about your answer is to think about the way that this works in real life and we realized that um in real life today how are building designs regulated in big cities well they're controlled by both the government and the investor so here both are correct okay the people giving the money for the building the skyscraper and the government all right so we wrote the introductory paragraph the introductory paragraph has a hook it catches the reader's attention introduces the topic it has a background the background defines the main idea the topic and the importance of the question and the thesis presents the argument to the author our opinion okay all right um yogesh i will go into some examples today so yes i will answer your question okay all right so here is our introductory paragraph let me actually move it to the next page here so you can see that really clearly so here we go there are thousands of potential designs for new buildings that pop up in cosmopolitan areas worldwide architects invest a great amount of effort and time in the functional and aesthetic design of skyscrapers and other structures to suit the needs of the city's citizens the look of these buildings greatly impacts the reputation and function of these urban areas in my opinion both the government and the investors should influence the design of new structures in metropolitan areas as the former is responsible for safety and cityscape and the latter is guided by cost profit and pride okay so very importantly this is my thesis statement here at the end of my introductory paragraph and my thesis statement for the reader has two very clear points firstly that i believe that the look of new buildings in big cities should be controlled by the government because the government is responsible for safety and cityscape so this is my point number one okay so that's going to make up my body paragraph number one and i'm going to explain this idea in more detail to my reader that's what i need to do here okay all right um and then my second point is this one here that i also believe the investors the person giving the money for the building should influence the look of the building because they are at the end of the day paying the money they need to make money so we can keep building our cities and they have pride okay so we're proud of what we build i'm sure you the same as i when we build something we want to be proud of it we want to show other people and say hey look i made that and it's beautiful and i hope you like it too okay so that's going to be my body paragraph too so let me explain each of these body paragraphs in more detail as we write this essay together okay and le trang yeah absolutely we can we can build a study group together we already have a study group for people on um discord we use discord for our study groups and i will give more information on that on our youtube channel and on our website as well okay so check on the youtube channel in the on the comments and posts for study groups okay that was a good question there all right um i don't speak that slowly lay trang i actually just speak very clearly i really enunciate my words all right so here we go uh body paragraph one now body paragraphs have several important parts firstly they have a topic sentence then they have an explanation then they have an example and then they have a connecting or concluding uh statement or sentence okay now your topic sentence is basically a deeper definition of your first point so here i'm saying that the governments have a responsibility uh to design or to influence the design of buildings because of safety and the cityscape so what do we mean by that you always have to think like what does uh my reader want to know or how will my reader understand what i'm saying here okay so here you want to give a deeper definition okay give a deeper definition of the government's responsibilities okay so i'm going to do that i'll write that topic sentence and that will give you a much clearer idea of what i'm actually uh talking about here so what i mean aj good luck on your exam tomorrow just stay calm stay confident and you'll be fine um diora uh congratulations on your ielts score 8.5 that's fantastic that's an incredibly high score um diora send me an email i would love to get your testimonial and your picture to use on our website so we can encourage other students to learn with us we have lots of fantastic success stories and i would love to have you as one of them okay so here i go with my topic sentence okay so this is my deeper definition of safety and cityscape remember i said yesterday cityscape when i taught you this word that cityscape means the look of the city think about the word landscape and then you can think about the word cityscape right landscape is the look of the land cityscape is the look of the city okay all right so let's see what some of our students wrote i know there were some okay uh silent boy that's just a kind of a repeat of the introduction there gurujit says safety and cityscape are two main reasons the government should be responsible for the construction of new buildings gurjeet that's just a repeat of the thesis okay students don't repeat your sentences in your essay because your band score will suffer okay so you're not going to do very well if you just repeat okay right okay so here we go this is what i wrote it is the elected government that is entrusted by its citizens to ensure that the buildings and cities guarantee security and safety as well as maintaining an overall aesthetic appeal and style that represents the population's culture and ideology so this is my deeper definition of cityscape if you think about cities than those cities that we're talking about are containing cultures and ideologies like for example religious beliefs or cultural dance song clothing art styles different art forms throughout the history um okay so that's what is contained in a city and obviously if we start building just some really strange buildings all over the place that absolutely don't match with the city and that happens sometimes people kind of go like uh what is that or what happened there okay all right so rashika writes authorities should be considered in the protection of its inhabitants and continue the look of the city constructing new amenities okay um rashika i like your definition of safety so protection of the inhabitants yeah guarantee the security and safety of inhabitants yeah that's really good absolutely uh nigem it says or rights let's see governments are usually responsible for the well-being of their citizens as well as the standard urban beauty for the greater prosperity therefore it is sensible that this design of new constructions should be controlled by authorities negan very good uh negan i would take out the word usually because governments are responsible for the well-being of their citizens not usually always it would be i can't i can't imagine a government that's not responsible for the well-being of its citizens then that government is obviously not doing their job okay so watch your watch your information okay gineal writes national authorities have a duty to periodically investigate newly erected buildings in downtown areas of cities where checking building safety and security and overall surveillance of the city skyline jainil i not too happy with that one few reasons national authorities yes but oftentimes it's more the municipal the local authorities like the the city hall that governs the look of the city i'm not sure how it works in every country in every city but i know that in canada for instance in victoria where i live it's the victoria city hall where builders have to ask for permission and in vancouver it's the vancouver city hall so it's more the local authorities that are familiar with the city so careful with those information mistakes okay all right um bakrat simple okay the government wins the heart of the people to control the center authority it's awkward all right okay um so now i want to explain this okay so for the explanation give descriptive language logical language with quantification okay meaning numbers so that we can better understand uh what you are discussing i'm going to write my explanation for my topic sentence so your explanation is always a response to well what do you mean by that or why is it that way or how does it work right so here again it is the elected government that is entrusted by its citizens to ensure that the buildings and cities guarantee security and safety as well as maintaining an overall aesthetic appeal and style that represent that represents the population's culture and ideology authorities must take into consideration potential threats such as natural disasters that are frequent in the area as well as the historical and religious beliefs of its citizens when setting up regulations for the construction of uh new structures okay so here is my explanation right so different cities are built in different environments with different temperatures with different kinds of natural disasters so you can't build a building in new york the same way that you would in dubai you can't build a building the same way in dubai as you would in tokyo okay obviously there the environment is different and these must be considered when the government says yeah you can do that no you can't really do that okay all right um paulo reese writes governments are responsible for making sure that cities are safe places and so they put in place hundreds of regulations to guarantee security in that context it makes sense for them to have supervision of projects of new edifications aside from that buildings are an important part of cityscape and the design must look and meet some criteria defined by the local powers very good paulo i made a few real-time corrections there but that was quite good okay all right uh lei um focus in on this ielts task to writing okay all right rashika writes they can be imposed rules and regulations which protect the quality of the buildings and landscape to avoid flood and the safety from earthquakes yeah rashika that's almost going into a bit too much detail but that's fine yeah some places are very prone to flooding for example okay all right now um here i'm satisfied with my explanation what i feel is missing is a bit of quantification so authorities must take into consideration potential threats i might add just a word like dozens of potential threats okay such as natural disaster that are frequent in the area as well as the historical and religious beliefs of its citizens when setting up regulation for the construction and look of new structures and when we say regulations and i'm sure most people know this that when you want to build a building especially a skyscraper there are hundreds of regulations that people have to follow that's why people go to school to learn a lot of these regulations okay okay there are hundreds of regulations and codes they're also called building codes okay all right so that is the um topic sentence and the explanation now after the explanation comes the example okay and the example should be something that's real world easy to relate to and take it from your own uh world okay so and i'm not telling you to use your own experience uh the question is telling you to use your own experience okay so if you look at ielts task two questions ielts task two questions will often almost always include this statement give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience it's actually telling you like think about your own experience and include an example that's how i know it's a first person essay so in my experience or from my perspective from my observations okay all right so think about what you have observed now i live in british columbia in victoria so the two cities that i'm very familiar with well a few cities but two of the cities are victoria and vancouver those are the two big cities in the province of british columbia so when i think about buildings in victoria when i think about buildings in vancouver and i think about what kinds of regulations guide these buildings then i know exactly what i can write okay um so in victoria or in my city of victoria the government has put in place building codes such as no structure can exceed 30 stories because it is an earthquake danger zone in addition buildings must have a modern look that is acceptable by the multi-uh population and does not offend any religion [Music] or race okay so as you know canada is very multicultural so you have building codes that say okay you can build a building that looks um like a muslim architecture or a catholic architecture or a buddhist architecture shinto architecture hindu architecture but you must do it in such a way that it does not offend any other religion or race so somebody doesn't say hey that's offensive to my people okay so that's those are strict building codes in victoria and vancouver if you go to vancouver you find much higher buildings you find buildings that are 100 stories high but not on vancouver island partly because it's an earthquake zone but also partly because we get very very strong winds we're on an island here in victoria we're on vancouver island it's a big island but we get some very strong wind so in my city of victoria the government has put in place building codes such as structures such as no structure can exceed 30 stories because it is an earthquake danger zone in addition buildings must have a modern look that is acceptable by the multicultural population and does not offend any religion or race okay all right um dzd togo welcome to our group of members on i just see that you switched over to the general which is really cool okay all right um anz example the hanoi government has given permission for building designs that can withstand natural hazards such as earthquake flooding and can complement the beauty standard of the capital of vietnam yeah absolutely and if you know some words like what are the architectural styles of hanoi then that would be great so maybe many of the buildings in hanoi are influenced by postmodern or neo-modern architecture so using those words can help you bump up your score on and it's cool that you're using the general english help channel uh just writes for instance in my city some are conned it is fixed that buildings should include no more than 20 stories and have tough uh foundations which are durable and stable against natural disasters yeah just sure i'm guessing you're in india and vietnam india like vancouver are earthquake danger zones okay if you live in italy and rome or in paris then you probably have to build so that you do not offend the historic look of buildings especially in the downtown areas okay all right very good so concluding connecting sentence these responsibilities towards the greater society clearly fall on the shoulders of authorities okay so yeah absolutely just making a couple corrections here as i'm taking a second glance always take a minute and then review the entire body paragraph okay now again high band essays band seven eight nine they're going to be longer than 250 words they will be closer to 300 320 30 words for sure okay so here i go i'm going to review this make sure that i don't have strange information too much repetition um it is the elected government that is entrusted by its citizens to ensure that the buildings and cities guarantee security and safety and i like the word i think it was rashika who used it guarantee protection for the inhabitants yeah as well as maintaining an overall aesthetic appeal and style that represents the population's culture and ideology so their belief systems authorities must take into consideration dozens of potential threats such as natural disasters that are frequent in the area as well as the historical and religious beliefs of its citizens when setting up hundreds of regulations for the construction and look of new structures in my city of victoria the government has put in place building codes such as no structure can exceed 30 stories let's put that in single quotations because that's the building code okay because it is an earthquake danger zone in addition buildings must have a modern look that is acceptable by the multicultural not multi-culture we need the adjective form here multi-cultural population and does not offend any religion or race these responsibilities towards the greater society clearly fall on the shoulders of authorities okay all right so i'm pretty happy with that body paragraph now and so now i can go on to my second body paragraph which follows the same structure as my first okay dzd togo don't worry that there's not tons of people watching it's totally okay uh we just started the live uh streaming on our general english help channel again we had a long time ago but we reignited we restarted it we do have 170 people or so watching on our academic english help channel so we're multi-streaming um because it works well for us now so yeah but if you're studying for general ielts you should check us out at general english help youtube um and if you're studying for the academic ielts everyone you should be looking at us at the academic english help channel i've got both chats open so i'm looking at both of those okay all right here we go uh so body paragraph two okay again topic explanation example all right now um obviously the individual investor they have an impact on the design of the building in fact they have a lot of impact on the design of the building both the exterior and the interior within the regulations set by the government okay so here we go um thurusha yeah we do share our essays on the youtube channel as well okay so here we go nevertheless um do okay so that's what i mean when i say um in the thesis statement that um the uh investors influenced the design because of cost profit and pride so within the regulations set by the government obviously the investor the person making this skyscraper this big building has a great impact on the look of the inside and the outside of the building and that's going to be based on their budget so how much they can spend on the building and also it's going to be guided by their imagination what they really want the building to look like i mean just think about the burj khalifa in dubai what an incredible architecture and i'm sure that many many hours of people's imagination and dreams went into creating that building okay all right paulo says i think your baby is trying to engage in the class perhaps okay um the definition of input dzd is what you put into a situation okay so in a computer the input device is your mouse your keyboard your camera because it takes information and it puts it into your computer it's called your input device okay um yen you can give inaccurate examples and i think by that you mean like not real examples and it will not have a negative effect on your score um however if you can use real examples that's great especially if you can use the same example that's really great as well okay so here we go vg pusela says both the government and the investor should work hand in hand in the erection of new buildings in the cities rules and standards imposed by the government should be meticulously followed by the financers um vigi i think you're writing about a different idea here so you're going a little bit off topic remember always the original question here the question is who should be responsible for the look of buildings in big cities the government or the investor right and um you're saying both here but in the second body paragraph we're focusing on the investor more than just both we've already talked about the government now we're talking about the investor and in the conclusion vg is where we can restate that we want both okay all right okay um so here we go uh the explanation okay it's coming up next okay so what do we mean by that okay so all right so what i mean by that is the amount of investments how much money we have determines the height of the building if i have 10 million dollars and it costs 2 million dollars per story of the building i can build a five-story building i can't build a hundred story building because i just don't have enough money right so the amount of investment determines the height of the building the material is used in the construction and the ideology of the builders greatly affect the colors materials and the shape of the design right so um it's kind of like the artist okay so if the builder tells the architect like hey i'm really into boats um then uh they might say i want the building to kind of look like a giant uh ship okay all right and that's possible and in fact that's exactly what one of the newer buildings in victoria looks like it looks like a cruise ship okay so uh why because um a lot of people are big fans of boating and ships we're on an island here and there are cruise ships that come to vancouver island so it's no surprise that one of the big build actually two of the buildings in the downtown area of victoria look like large cruise ships made out of glass but they're not cruise ships they're buildings right so again i'm using that visualization okay cruise ships cruise ships two words unlike lifeboats one word story buildings that look like glass cruise ships as the investment group um are also into boating and travel all right um there we go so uh to further merit this point near my downtown home there are two large 10-story buildings that look like glass cruise ships as the investment group are also into boating and travel okay so there we go a little bit more and more explanation you always want to complete your ideas and tie back into the original question so to further merit this point near my downtown home there are two large ten story buildings that look like glass cruise ships as the investment group which funded the construction are also into boating and travel all right okay uh bakra writes the financers design the building with the budget of the project because it establishes the building collapse submit of construction they will face major loss uh bakrat some grammatical problems there and you're also going off topic so be careful with that um yogesh you do have essay checking services and feedback on the websites yeah so go to glthelp.com because you're on the general english hub channel and click on the task one or task two green buttons on the website and you can find those services okay all right now here i don't write a connecting or concluding sentence because i have my conclusion coming up next okay there's no point to write a connecting or concluding sentence right before the conclusion that's just kind of awkward okay because after that you're writing in conclusion and you conclude your ideas anyway now notice something interesting that i did here so in my first body paragraph i used my city of victoria in my second body paragraph i again um used uh my city of victoria okay near my downtown home um let's add in in victoria okay to make it really clear for the reader that i'm using the same location and that creates a lot of cohesion so when you use the same context of the example for body one and body two you create a lot of cohesion and that makes your essay better does everybody understand that thumbs up so use the same example whenever possible or use the same context for the example whenever possible in body one body two if you have three body paragraphs then body three because that creates a lot of cohesion and makes a lot of clarity for your writer okay um at my a good question is asking is this a general ielts writing class no this is both okay academic and general ielts task two are basically the same i've talked to so many experts examiners i've talked to british council and i have asked them what's the difference between generalized and academic outlets task two and everybody kind of looks at me and goes uh nothing really they're kind of the same okay so they're pretty much the same all right okay um so everybody pick up that important point that i just gave you there okay that's a really good strategy okay so keep this strategy in mind use the same context for your examples in all of your body paragraphs to create cohesion and coherence in your essay thereby getting a better band score okay so in my case i'm using victoria okay if you're using new delhi in your first one use new delhi in your second one if you're using tush kent in your first one use tashkent in your second one okay uh enough preet is saying most teachers in india want to go with a format like this essay shall examine blah blah blah it's wrong no enough preet that's not good because the essay isn't examining anything you are examining it not the essay the essay is a document okay and you don't tell people what your essay will do you just do it okay in good communication we don't tell people i will talk about this i will talk about that i will write about this i will nobody likes reading that we just like reading the actual information so if you take literature class they will tell you don't do that just tell them what you want to tell them don't tell them what you will tell them okay all right okay so um yogesh is writing for instance in india especially in metropolitan areas um accountants firstly represent the budget of the buildings while constructing and accordingly investors decide on the designs and shapes okay you guess not bad it's a little bit repetitive try to think about more details so more clear explanation okay all right um pardee send me an email on that and i'll help you out okay so now we have our conclusion and the conclusion also has several parts okay the conclusion is not just a repeat of your introduction it has your points uh restated it has your argument strengthened and it has a take-home message okay so take home messages like why does somebody want to read this essay why does somebody want to read your information what do they get from it okay in the real world and of course this is good writing we only read content that we find useful if i were giving you information that's just kind of so so and useless you probably wouldn't be watching this youtube channel so i have to give you information that you can use that you say hey that's good that's useful i can take that home i can work with that okay all right and danielle dkss is backing up that point right now said daniel is writing hey adrian i had an exam three days ago i got 7.5 overall i'm so grateful to you it wouldn't be possible without you um also i got 8.5 in listening which is insane daniel that's fantastic congrats send me an email i would love to get your testimonial okay such yum accent does not matter in your speaking as long as the examiner can understand you okay here we go with the conclusion so points restated in conclusion both the government and the investor have their roles uh to play in the design of buildings in large urban areas the authorities are responsible for the quality and fit of new constructions while the sponsors decide the details of the finished product according to their interests okay and here i want my own opinion and i want to include it so in conclusion both the government and the investor have their roles to play in the design of buildings in large urban areas i strongly support that authorities are responsible for the quality and fit of new construction while the sponsors decide the details of the finished product according to their interests why this is my take-home message um in this um collaboration the best results can be achieved for both the inhabitants for both the occupants of the new building as well as the citizens of the city okay so that's what we're thinking about because yeah so the building sure um is one part of the picture but the other part of the picture is the big city right so the building is a part of that big city and we have to consider not just the building but we have to consider the city and it's especially the government that's going to consider the city so the government is more interested in the city than just the building and of course the investor is mostly interested in the building and so they have to work within the context of the city okay all right um so here we go abhishek kumar says i got overall eight band that's great abhishek nicely done okay um so here we go let me read the full essay and then uh hopefully it makes sense when you're at home you should always read your whole essay just to review it so here again the question is some people believe governments should be responsible for the new design of buildings and cities others think investors should discuss both give your own opinion here's my response there are thousands of potential designs for new buildings that pop up in cosmopolitan areas worldwide architects invest a great amount of effort and time in the functional and aesthetic design of skyscrapers and other structures to suit the needs of the city's citizens the look of these buildings greatly impact the reputation and function of these urban areas in my opinion both the government and the investor should influence the design of the structures in metropolitan areas as the former is responsible for safety and cityscape and the latter is guided by cost profit and pride it is the elected government that is entrusted by its citizens to ensure that buildings in cities guarantee protection for the inhabitants as well as maintaining an overall aesthetic appeal in style that represents the population's culture and ideology authorities must take into consideration dozens of potential threats such as natural disasters that are frequent in the area as well as the historical and religious benefits of its citizens when setting up hundreds of regulations for the construction and look of new structures in my city of victoria the government has put in place building codes such as no structure can exceed 30 stories because it is an earthquake danger zone in addition buildings must have a modern look that is acceptable by the multicultural population and does not offend any religion or race these responsibilities towards the greater society clearly fall on the shoulders of the authorities nevertheless within the construction framework set by the government the financers do have a significant input on the finished building both on its exterior and interior design the construction is guided by their imagination budget and business targets the amount of investment determines the height of the building the materials used in the construction and the ideology of the builder greatly affects the colors materials and shapes of the design to further merit this point near my downtown home in victoria there are two large 10 story buildings that look like glass cruise ships as the investment group which funded the construction are also into boating and travel in conclusion both the government and the investor have their roles to play in the design of buildings in large urban areas i strongly support authorities are responsible for the quality and fit of new constructions while the sponsors decide the details of the finished product according to their interests in this collaboration the best results can be achieved by can be achieved for both the occupants of the new building as well as the citizens of the city okay good i'm pretty confident it's not perfect there's still a couple mistakes that i saw while reading but it looks good enough especially for band eight to nine so i'm happy with that it's about 310 words 320 words that's where you need to be for a band-aid band 9 okay all right um so that is the end of this essay and that concludes this class um for lots lots more help with the academic ielts as well as the general outs please visit our websites aehelp.com for academic outs and gl's help.com for general aisles okay we have help for you there with essay writing so have a lovely rest of your day tomorrow i'll be back with speaking part two the cue card and speaking part three so we'll be doing speaking practice until then i bid you farewell and have an awesome day much love to all of you i'm adrian signing out from victoria bye for now you

Channel: AcademicEnglishHelp

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Keywords: IELTS, Task 2, writing, essay, paragraphs, sentences, vocabulary, introduction paragraph, band 9, body paragraphs, conclusion, IELTS description, English examination, writing IELTS, writing for task two, second part of writing, writing strategies, IELTS task 2, Lesson, Teacher, Learn, Student, Lessons, Learning, Free, Intro, Tutorial, IELTS task 2 explain, IELTS task 2 learning, IELTS task 2 explanations, plan, planning, understand, skills, strategies, task 2 ielts writing general

Id: RvS7Ngc014o

Length: 59min 23sec (3563 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 24 2021