IELTS Live - Task 1 Writing - Band 9 Bar Graph Essay

hi students and welcome to today's live ielts class my name is adrian and i'm streaming to you from beautiful victoria here on the west coast of canada i hope everybody has had a great week and is looking forward to a fantastic weekend staying healthy and staying strong this is a members chat class of course everybody should watch especially those of you who are doing the academic ielts exam because in this class we are looking at a task one writing example and strategy working on a bar graph so task 1 for the academic ielts is going to be some kind of a chart graph a line graph pie chart perhaps a map or even a flow chart welcome kyber while we wait for some more members to join in this lesson is presented to you by aehelp.com that's academicenglishhelp.com as well as gilthelp.com that's general ieltshelp.com for lots more materials please visit us there if you're looking for general aisles task one writing check us out at glshelp.com where we have sample videos and strategies for how to write letters effectively welcome rashika i'll quickly show you these websites this is our academic web portal here we've got lots of videos practice exams a fully interactive course we've got an app for your phone just click that big red button to join our premium package it's a one-time payment for lifetime access and we are an official uh british council aisles test registration center and certified agents so you're in good hands with us and this is our general ielts website here with the green background again you can click that big red button to join us there we are world leaders when it comes to ielts exam preparation and of course you can check out our lots and lots of success stories from our students by looking at our testimonials all right everyone again we have apps that connect to our web portals academic ielts help this app links to ahelp.com general ielts help this app links to gltshelp.com and if you have any questions about our courses or about ielts just send me an email to adrian aehelp.com and i'll i will gladly respond welcome angelo hi janil okay students so right now we have this task one class then we're going to uh finish our task two essay that we started yesterday with everyone in the all chat class where everybody can join the class and tomorrow we're going to have a question and answer session for our members and we will do a speaking part two with everyone let's get into today's task one writing so here is the question of the day for task one so you just finished your reading section of your ielts exam next up is the writing section it has two tasks it takes one hour task one takes about 20 minutes and this question reads uh you should spend about 20 minutes on this task the chart shows men and women proficient in a foreign language in several countries describe the main features and make comparisons where relevant um pop quiz to our members uh what type of essay is task one in the academic okay so this is just a quick question for some of our members who have been in the class or classes in the past um what kind of essay is task one so there are four main types of writing in the english language and in other languages as well um what type is this one uh okay good ali says it's an expository essay janel and kyber agree what does that actually mean so what does it mean to write an expository essay so task one is an expository essay okay um all right and kyber says this means that we need to report the given information and not include ourselves uh simply objective opinion yeah um ali says state what is given very good kyber so khyber says to interpret the information yeah um so jainil it's not just to describe uh and you don't want to give your opinion because that's persuasive okay it's a little bit different so task one here is expository which means you need to explain expose and interpret the information that is given do not include your personal opinion and do more than just simply describe what you see okay so that's because there are four main types of writing in english persuasive writing persuasive writing is where you try to convince your reader of your ideas like something is better or worse that's task two by the way there's also descriptive writing descriptive writing is where you simply describe some piece of information or an object okay um that's kind of the foundation the father of all writing uh it's very basic writing that's usually what kids start to learn in primary school is how to do descriptive writing like write a paragraph that describes the house that you live in okay that's descriptive writing and then you have expository writing which is what we're looking at here where you're taking one extra step and you're explaining and interpreting the information but without giving an opinion okay so you're not making an argument it is a mistake when students include their opinion in task one and tell the reader that this happened because so many people like uh electric cars these days okay the graph doesn't tell us necessarily that information so don't include it okay and then of course the fourth kind of writing is called narrative narrative writing is story writing that's where the writer is the narrator of a story and that is actually general ielts task one so when you write a letter uh to a friend or a family member uh you're writing a type of story about yourself your life uh and that's narrative writing okay so be familiar with that students these are the foundations of writing in university in english cultures it's expected that people have this knowledge of these different types of writing okay so let's get into this task one writing this narrative right or sorry this expository writing um and uh after you read the question uh you should look at the graph so here we have the graph for today start with the title percentage of students proficient in a foreign language okay here we have our y-axis okay our y-axis goes from zero to 70 percent uh with intervals of seven percent okay and then on our uh x axis uh we have our bars and uh we have the countries um these countries include china romania thailand india russia and vietnam okay and then of course we have two for each so we have a blue graph and we have a green bar so we have males representing the blue and females representing the green okay in the ielts usually these are black and white or have some kind of a pattern all right um so this here is what's called interval data um pop quiz uh what do you call this kind of data in english so when you have uh this kind of china romania thailand so you have these names females males what do you call that kind of data and again this is good knowledge especially if somebody is going into science majors to know the different types of data there are four main types of data that are reported in graphs one type of data is interval data where you have equal distances between measures here it's seven percent between each measure and here what kind of data is that it's the most basic type of data anybody know what that's called i'll give you a quick note on this as well there are four basic types of data reported in statistics or charts okay uh first is jenelle says i forget um all right daniel i'm gonna help you remember for next time it's called nominal data okay so when you think of nominal think of nom okay and nom meaning name it's name data we simply call it names the names that we give those categories okay they're arbitrary they're human constructs a country is a concept made up by a human if you ask a bird hey which country do you live in seagull or eagle the eagle and the seagull will say what do you mean country i just fly where i want to go i don't have a passport so the names of countries it's human construct even the division of na of male female is a human construct so that's called nominal data then the next one is called ordinal data okay that's where you have things like first second third and then you have what's called interval data okay and then you have what's called ratio data okay i'm not gonna get into too much detail in those um so those are the different types of data that you can see in statistics and on graphs and charts and it's a good idea to know what those are okay all right so here we observe this bar chart of course you're doing this quite quickly in your official ielts exam so we notice that we have six different countries okay and again males and females and now we can start writing our essay for band nine you need to have great content okay so first is your introduction okay and your introduction is simply a paraphrase of the question with more details using the graph okay so here um you can start members so uh you can start with um the paraphrasing i'm going to do the same okay uh amanda good that's a different uh perspective of data that you're describing there from what i'm doing but uh it's nice to see that everybody's on board now good um so we want to paraphrase this so here the chart shows well let's give some more details it's not just a chart it's a bar chart right um this bar chart okay there are lots of ways to paraphrase the verb shows uh illustrates depicts describes uh many many ways to paraphrase that so this bar chart illustrates males and females um who are whom are uh fluent in a foreign language in six countries and then i might go the distance it's a fairly simple graph relatively speaking to even list these countries so china romania thailand russia vietnam so um thailand romania china vietnam russia and one that i forgot india of course okay all right um so and if i want to get a little bit fancier i might include something like uh make sure you have the details here the bar chart illustrates the percentage of males and females who are fluent in a foreign language in six countries thailand romania china vietnam russia and india the y-axis indicates the percentages from 0 to 70 percent with intervals of seven percent okay um the reason that i wrote this here the y-axis indicates the percentage from zero uh to seventy percent with intervals of seven percent is because that's kind of unique um usually the percentages on the y-axis are from 0 to 100 with intervals of 10 or 5 so i do want to bring the attention of my audience the fact that we have a little bit of an awkward scaling system here so i decided to include that into my introduction okay i'm not going to explain the x-axis because i already did that um the x-axis is clear here in the list of countries okay competent readers will understand that that's the x-axis okay all right let's check out what you have so we've got lots of writing which is fantastic kyber says this vertical chart provides information about the percentage of students um using a second language effectively uh both males and females in six various nations including china romania thailand india russia and vietnam ali says these bars depict the percentage of male and female students fluent in international languages in six countries uh careful ali we don't know if they're international languages they could be local dialects again the chart doesn't actually tell us what language they're fluent in an international language would be like uh hindi english german russian but we don't know if that's what their second language is okay it could be a local dialect so careful um angelo says the bar chart emphasizes the percentage of students who speak foreign languages in six countries okay kashirsha says the bar chart depicts the percentage of males and females with linguistic skills in two eastern european countries romania russia and four asian countries thailand china india and vietnam uh kashirsha nice observation about the actual uh continental uh segregation okay that's kind of interesting for sure i like that type of original um thought and writing and the examiners like to read that as well okay all right um kyber your paraphrasing is so far is roughly uh seven because you have some grammatical mistakes there that make it a little bit awkward in the coherence so it's a six point five to seven okay um here's my uh introduction the bar chart illustrates the percentage of males and females whom are fluent the reason why i'm using whom is because the males and females are the object of the sentence since bar chart is the subject of the sentence so the bar chart illustrates the percentage of males and females whom are fluent in a foreign language in six countries thailand romania china vietnam russia and india the y-axis indicates the percentages from zero to 70 with intervals of seven percent okay all right students uh so i don't have time to grade all of your uh writing okay but if you'd like to know uh an estimate for your writing score you can get that for free uh just simply email your essay to us at uh adrian aehelp.com or admin aehelp.com angelo and others and then you can get your uh essay score estimate for free okay uh doing that in these live classes would take way too much time and it would make it really boring for others that are watching okay all right um so now uh in university here you would actually continue with the overview it's actually very awkward that ielts expect students to separate the introduction from the overview but they do that's strange it's unnecessary it's not the way it's done in university but whatever let's just stick to the ielts method so now we write the overview and the overview is basically the most observable features in my mind uh overview not just in my mind but in the mind of standard writing and university writing the overview and the introduction are the same so just know that students that ielts has a really strange concept for separating introduction and overview technically an overview is an introduction so overview is a synonym for the word introduction okay keep that in mind all right so overview is the most observable feature in the graph okay uh what is the most observable feature in this graph i think there are two kind of uh really distinct uh features here let's see if you can catch what i'm looking at here okay gineal very good yeah so janil says females are generally more proficient so not more proficient but more females okay so greater percentage of females are proficient in a second language than males except for thailand yeah so you can see that basically for every country china romania india russia vietnam the green bar is bigger than the blue bar this means that a greater percentage of females can speak a foreign language in five of the six countries than males and that's definitely an interesting um observation there okay all right and then i think another uh really interesting observation is that foreign language fluency is clearly dominant in two of these uh six countries so romanian india with india being the most right so that's another kind of main feature that we can observe so that's what we want to write in our overview okay uh and that's what i would start with all right good i'm happy that everybody caught that and you weren't just stuck on the fact that uh india has the greatest number of foreign language speakers okay all right yeah so let's write that overview okay um okay so uh this would be my uh overview here all right so immediately it is noticeable that a greater percentage of women speak a foreign language in all countries except for thailand as well india and romania have the highest total percentage of foreign language speakers okay good so this is that interpretation that we were talking about this is the goal of a good expository essay to interpret to explain okay kyber writes immediately it is noticeable that the fluency of women except for thailand with the highest percentage for males okay kyber careful with missing information so you have fluency but fluency of what fluency of a foreign language okay so don't miss information ali says at first i shot comma it is apparent that all five countries have higher percentage of women speaking a foreign language except thailand as it has a higher percentage of males okay ali good a couple of corrections angelo says in the bar chart it is observed that all countries excluding thailand are predominantly higher than males when it comes to proficiency in a foreign language okay angelo careful you're missing the word women or females so it's quite confusing what you're stating also angelo be careful not to repeat in the bar chart you already said that in the introduction so you don't need to repeat yourself with that concept okay you've introduced to the reader that it's a bar chart now just discuss the information in the bar chart okay so careful with that all right um doing a good job so far let's get into the fun part which is the analysis okay or we can call it the analyses for plural okay so for the analyses okay you want to indicate your points of comparison and you have to be really careful here because you want to write at least 150 words for band 9 you want to write a little bit closer to 200 words all right and there's a lot of information here like you can actually write 200 words fairly easily so you do have to be careful about what you include and what you exclude so firstly you should go into more detail about what you introduce in your overview so we talk about uh comparing a foreign language proficiency uh between men and women whereby women uh have more uh or more proficient or have a greater percentage of proficiency i should say in five of these countries except for thailand all right so my first point of comparison will deal with uh that idea okay so for me logically it makes sense to talk about romania okay first uh why am i going to explain about romania first what do you think so my number one is actually going to be romania because i compare between men and women right so why am i going to talk about romania first so gineal says because of the greater difference yeah so you have 42 percent of uh males in romania and you have over 63 percent 64 of females so there's a difference of about 20 percent roughly between uh males and females which is the greatest difference between males and females so a lot more women are proficient in a second or third language in romania compared to other countries okay all right so i'm going to talk about that first and then i'm going to compare that to thailand all right um where thailand is of course we mentioned where males okay are proficient in a second language in greater numbers so here we are just below 28 and here we're roughly at about 31 so that's about a difference of roughly five percent okay so i'm just going to call this one b that's my comparison here so firstly i'm i'm doing this and why because in my overview i state that fact so you can think about the overview as kind of your what so think about task 2 here members if i ask you this kind of critical thinking question then your overview in essence is what part of your task one how would you call that in the task two essay what would be the appropriate term for essay writing okay instead of calling it the overview we could also call it the what what else could we call it this is kind of an interesting quest and it makes a lot of sense when you do it this way it will be easier and faster yeah very good gus yeah yeah good gineal yeah it's not your conclusion it's your thesis okay it's kind of like your thesis statement so in my overview i state that it's noticeable that a greater percentage of women speak foreign languages in all countries except thailand so that's kind of my thesis right there okay and then this is a continuation of my thesis so clearly i'm going to talk about that a little bit later on okay all right does that make sense because that will really help you so you if you when you think about your overview as your thesis it makes quite a bit of sense right okay so there is uh our thesis point one basically okay all right um and then uh my second point will be talking about india now this is kind of my second point of my thesis all right and then uh i'm going to mention this here then for a uh sorry four and then five so for me that makes logical sense in the essay okay does everybody see that so talking about the greatest differences of females versus males and the contrast then talking about the greatest overall number of foreign language speakers and then describing the uh ordinal right the third fourth fifth level of foreign language speakers okay all right so let's do this go ahead members and uh interpret expose explain this piece of information here between romania and thailand okay and it's probably not by accident that whoever made this graph they actually put romania and thailand next to each other for those people who are quick and clever they can kind of see that if you're doing a presentation in university it's a good idea to put these next to each other so that you can show this comparison in the overall graph right okay so uh let's discuss that now in the essay okay and then we'll go to india and the remaining countries all right so here we go looking at the data in greater detail and at this point so even if you've taken 10 minutes in your task 1 in the official exam with this graph to get to this point now you're going to be very fluent with your writing okay looking at the data in greater detail you you all right um so lots of different ways to write this this is how i did it uh looking at the data in greater detail the biggest gap in foreign language ability between males and females is in romania where roughly 20 notice how i use where because it's location romania uh where roughly 20 percent more women speak a second or third language than men okay uh careful with your e's here make sure they're plurals not woman but women and not men but men in contrast five percent more males in thailand speak another language than women because that's contrasting that so that's going into more detail okay angela's asking sir can i just write the main points because the max to write in this uh task is 200 words yeah we're going to end up at about 200 words here angelo doing it this way you need quality words remember angelo that the key here is to interpret the data okay so not just writing most and least necessarily okay all right so now my next point uh furthermore the highest overall percentage of foreign language speakers are in india with 60 to 56 percent of men and 69 percent of women being able to speak in multiple languages okay all right and i see we have some analyses from kyber engineer that's great so when looking at the information given uh in the data on more detail too complex kyber keep it a little bit simpler when looking at the information in more detail it is evident that romania had the biggest gap between males and females where women had 20 percent greater fluency in speaking a foreign language than men good okay kyber i made some corrections uh careful with coherence with missing words and um too much information at the beginning okay janelle says uh after deeper inspection the enormous difference in the proficiency of foreign language between males and females is in romania at around 20 percent whereby 62 percent of men and 42 percent of women speak another language okay janil i think there's a missing part at the end careful with that rashika says in romania females speak a foreign language fluently um more than males showing over 63 percent uh however this amount is 20 more than males conversely in thailand yeah rashika okay it's you have the right idea just be careful with how you express it it's a little bit confusing there okay ali writes at further analysis the highest difference the biggest difference between men and women who speak of foreign languages in romania where 20 percent more uh women speak another language than men yeah word order it's tricky you really just have to practice it that's why it's really important that you get some professional editing services uh for your writing when it comes to task one okay and you can do that on our website all right um so now i'm going to go to uh third position vietnam uh fourth position russia and uh fifth position china okay so um let's go to vietnam okay uh vietnam over half of women speak a foreign language and over a third of men speak a foreign language okay so again interpretation not always just percentages like 56 and 38. okay all right all right so that's fine uh now in um fourth position or sorry uh this would be yeah so uh fourth position is russia uh thailand is fifth position and then six sixth position is china so russia is a close fourth i'm just going to call it a close fourth to vietnam i'm not going to go into much uh detail there and this is kind of connected to what angela was saying angela's like hey um it's just uh like 200 words so i don't want to waste more than 20 minutes and 200 words on this precisely so there's no point here um to go into a lot of details for every piece of information the question says report the main features and make comparisons were relevant the question in task one doesn't ask you to report all of the percentages and that's one of the mistakes many candidates make is they just try to write all these percentages down in task one we don't need to do that so um you notice how i change number to percent because percent is not a number okay percent is relative right a number is absolute so in russia slightly less percent of men and women speak a foreign language as in vietnam okay um after thailand okay i'm gonna take that out because that doesn't make sense so i'm just gonna finish with a simple sentence here again to keep my word count and time uh limit okay all right um so there we go i'm pretty happy with it now and i'm just gonna do a quick word count to see where where we're at okay and then i'll review the essay so let's just see okay yeah so that's roughly 190 words so if i take out my um words like overview most observable feature right now i'm at about 190 195 words okay so if i want to get a little bit fancier i can include a summary but my word count looks perfect at this point so okay so something simple like this in summary there is a wide range in the percent of people speaking a foreign language depending on nationality and women are generally more than men okay all right so now i'm at about uh 200 210 words and i'm out of band 9 as long as i don't have spelling mistakes and grammatical mistakes okay let's go from the beginning so this essay reads this bar chart illustrates the percentage of males and females whom are fluent in a foreign language in six countries thailand romania china vietnam russia and india the y-axis indicates the percentages from uh zero to seventy percent with intervals of seven immediately it is noticeable that a greater percentage of women speak a foreign language in all countries except for thailand as well india and romania have the highest total percentage of foreign language speakers looking at the data in greater detail the biggest gap in foreign language ability between males and females is in romania where roughly twenty percent more women speak a second or third language than men in contrast five percent um more males in thailand speak another language than women furthermore the highest overall percentage of foreign language speakers are in india with 60 56 percent of men and 69 percent of women being able to speak in multiple languages following india and romania vietnam has the third highest percentage of foreign language speakers at just over half of the population for females and over a third for males in russia slightly less percent of men and women speak a foreign language as in vietnam finally the lowest percentage of foreign language speakers are in china in summary there's a wide range in the per in the uh percentage of people speaking a foreign language depending on nationality and women are generally more than men okay so that looks good all right let's see what we have in the chat um jynil says inversely in thailand a greater percentage of males speak a foreign language than thai females around five percent interestingly around uh twofold of chinese females fifteen percent speak more than one language than chinese men at eight percent yeah so twice as many good observation janil it is the last little piece of detail so that's why i didn't spend a lot of time there um yeah angelo it's not okay so angela's asking most of the test models answers use percentage most of the time uh we're using some of that to angelo but not for the high bands the band 9 i actually have found angelo that when people copy what the model test answers use in their official exam they never get banned 9. the best mark they get is like six five seven so some of those sample answers even the ones that british council gives you are misleading and that's why a lot of students are really frustrated because they're like well i wrote exactly what the model answer was that i studied and i'm sure that my grammar is good i have great english but i'm still not getting an eight or nine why is that um it's because it's not an original answer it doesn't interpret the information and angelo in university a professor will not take that kind of answer they'll just say this is useless a person can see that just by looking at the graph you have to interpret the information so it's unfortunate but a lot of those model answers are misleading and it's really frustrating and it's the same for task two by the way as well angelo so a lot of the model answers that they give you for task two if you write that in your ielts exam even if you have perfect grammar and vocabulary they won't give you a band 9. so it's misleading it's the reality unfortunately so you have to have for those high bands like band 7589 you have to have a more expert level of writing okay yeah and i can see that gineal and kyber agree as well they say yeah definitely and you can see a lot of students in blogs and in forums express this concern they're like yeah i'm sure i wrote that in my practice classes i write the exact answer and everybody's like oh that's great and then in the official exam i get a 6.5 why is that okay all right um so good job everyone keep up the practice this is what you want to do this is definitely what you want to do in college and university to get some good grades and [Music] stick around i'll be back in 30 minutes with task 2. for everybody watching you can check out more video strategies on our websites when you sign up for a premium package at ae help dot com for academic gltshelp.com for general our general website looks like this click that red button to join the premium package our academic one looks like this click that one to join us there and again hang around i'll be back in half an hour with task two where everybody can join the chat i'm adrian i'm signing out from victoria for now but i hopefully will see you all soon you

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Keywords: IELTS writing task 1, diagram, pie chart, line graph, bar chart, flow-chart, IELTS descriptions, International English Language Testing System, English examination, writing for graphs, writing for charts, writing for tables, IELTS task 1, Lesson, Teacher, Learn, Student, Lessons, Learning, Free, Intro, Tutorial, IELTS task 1 explain, IELTS task 1 learning, IELTS task 1 descriptions

Id: AdoxwrtEGtQ

Length: 54min 53sec (3293 seconds)

Published: Fri May 28 2021