i made school 1,000,000x more violent

all right so we're checking out the only game where you get to play richard nixon on a segway who goes forth in order to attempt to defeat the zombie apocalypse it's happy wheels more vitamin w damn it this watermelon just screwed up my damn it because it's not real what kind of sick bastard would do this to a person so today's happy wheels is going to be the presidential edition we are going to be using all of the presidents in order to fix the problems with this world and as we all know all of the problems can be fixed with violence darn the gun is up too high if you weren't busy licking your shins you wouldn't have this problem get up there oh i think i broke a vertebrae this is very odd um this is the first time i've ever seen a person where their ass is trying to escape from the rest of their body i feel like with the wrong move i will end up killing myself with the arrows that are already lodged in my body jump richard come on now whatever we need no guns where we're going wow that was the olympus zombie i've ever had to deal with enjoy your segway enema it seems the virus we're working on has been released oh god no it's so relevant i didn't mean for this to happen there we go i felt really bad not killing the zombie rolling up on a zombie and having it just lose the will to live doesn't really make me feel like a presidential hero all right let's roll onward oh damn all right hold on let me see how holy jesus christ i didn't think it would actually attack it says brains get off me it's not going for my brains it was going for my right foot so this is um this is kind of interesting i lost both of my feet but i obtained a new foot you will notice right over here both of my very expensive shoes are laying on the floor you know still on my detached feet on the plus side if i get assaulted by another crossbow or whatever at least this dead leg in front of me will absorb some of the beating oh i guess i should have went through this door the first time oh [ __ ] i'm stuck inside of it oh no even with no limbs you can't keep a good president down okay maybe i'm screwed you can't stop me all right we're at the reactor core it's stabilizing what the hell is a reactor core for i thought it was like a virus damn it my foot just fell off i hate it when it happens let me tell you when you get to be my age oh god there's a zombie here i've got to use the cleaver gun what the hell is the cleaver gun goku oh the cleaver gun apparently seeks out the ball sack of any zombie that opposes it i feel like the obvious joke to make here is that when you're attempting to kill a zombie you have to go for the head but it never specified which head i like that gi joe is just gonna chill here while his president on a segway rolls on by i never really thought about this but the handle of the cleaver kind of does look like a hot dog i'm not feeling too great exit a double cleaver gun i like how the zombies have evolved to the point where they're using the cheerleader human pyramid tactic two wieners for the price of one anytime i see a red bar sitting roughly at neck level it kind of worries me uh i feel terrible are you infected let me check [Music] so my am i good or what what what the hell was that oh sh here's the cure you dirty infected there's a dude waiting with a gun you may be saying to yourself gray you exploded how exactly did you claim victory because my testicles are still intact all right richard nixon is back and he's got the big balls why the hell is little tom hardy chilling out with a scimitar i keep telling you not to play with it or go blind yeah you heard me i told him not to play with it i like how all my options here are death there's like one area where i can legitimately win we're taking it apparently i really wanted tom dad come on oh god i better do this quick okay i know we can do this oh god not again yes my brain is sitting on top of my neck hole oh this is cool i actually got taller because my legs separated from one another i'm not gonna lie like i ended up like some sort of siren head style monster there is a sword stuck in my neck holding both of my arms you've heard of siren head i'm saber head why do i even wear this helmet it doesn't do anything spike fall god you say if there's one thing i'm good at in this game it's falling to my death on a segway spike fall god i'll get this done in the first try for real watch ready are you watching are you watching now i know this looks bad but i'm still alive that one doesn't count i'm so close one part of my disembodied leg damn near got it got there i think the best part about this is we're still alive too don't mind me there's a harpoon on the ceiling i'm just trying to get it to fire right up my butt hold on right right damn it so close this is where i've gotten in this game at this point wrong wrongs oh it's even worse than i had previously anticipated i'm still alive technically there we go mission complete this is called get in the box in case you're wondering richard nixon has to show off his pectoral muscles by getting in the box ready come on worm your way in there you can do it you can do it swing yes oh god there's so much more i had no idea why okay i still got one arm left it's gonna be fine come on richard don't you give up on me you bastard we've gotten this far we cannot lose now one arm one leg we're the winner you liver presidential bastard the presidential family that bikes together dies together or not we might actually make this first try i'm such a good husband that i protected the first lady with my own cranium she did end up losing a leg though it's not an episode of happy wheels taking over the top rope i'm not gonna lie this is both an embarrassing and uncomfortable position to be in hi they are bored with a wall of text you can win if the machete bounces from the ground onto the kid that is the winning scenario look at him playing with all his little blocks acting all innocent but it's a lie hello little child what would you like to be when you grow up and he'd be like the president oh really they just destroy the entire planet don't let them have dreams yes i love that this is the appropriate representation of family life how to get rid of child support payments in under five seconds bottle runs are no problem for the president of the neighborhood watch onward my child all right they're a little bit harder than i previously anticipated onward young tom we will accept no failures we can do this all right i can do this little tom won't be joining me in the afterlife come on baby go yes well at least one of his legs made it to the finish tom how you doing back there you're really quiet all of a sudden if there's one thing that richard nixon is very good at it's grabbing random things watch 10 out of 10 fall right there oh apparently there's more all right from one hot dog conveyor belt on to the other hot dog slightly testicular looking conveyor belt okay fall on here that looks like something that would yep okay we're still alive technically we're gonna be okay okay maybe now we're not gonna be okay because this thing is slowly sliding up my rectum please please stop pushing i never thought that i would see my guy get pushed past the finish line with no arms oh my god do not get stuck here thank you and we won i like that in the end the little fairy landed right on me my guy gave up both of his arms for his country the time has come to teach young tom hardy how to live in a world of violence i don't really know how violent things are going to get because honestly the hobo is just standing there with a battle axe can i just like slowly nudge my wheel what the hell was that and that time is why you don't do drugs the old man sitting on the ground over there he's like the red bull worked yeah it worked all right if your idea was to brush your teeth with your battle axe on to number two the kick master honestly every president should know how to defend themselves what does this guy have like a thruster shoved up his ass or something can i protect myself with my bicycle all right let's just roll slowly in here we're gonna i'm gonna porpoise the front of the bike here because you never know when the kick master's coming hey kickmaster how's the tire pressure he's like it's good ah a classic combatant the runer i have to defeat my clone in mortal kombat you know what we're doing this faster oh damn it you got brains all over my new tires i swear to god when you get blood inside of the gears it's just like it's awful i'm gonna bring these two organs with me here all right runer just cut a man in half with a bike tire i feel like that was the perfect opportunity for the owl my leg sound effect but i guess i'll just let it go dumb i feel like maybe we just ran out of descriptors is she is she like planning on kicking me or is she going to a black friday sale what is this she just got abducted by aliens see what happens when you raise a hand to my child it's like high-tech black bagging ooh i'm kinda glad i was moving real slowly nice try game but i'm the world's safest father my special power is my indecision for sendgun tom i might actually have you go ahead for this okay i think i think i might want to ramp over the harpoon hold on all right come on up this way there we go we're gonna need plenty of speed for this bring it on all right i'll count that as a win tom's over there he's like daddy it's so cold i mean i hate to say it i wish i could get you back on the bike but i don't think i can well father of the year award and that is how you be a successful parent welcome to the matrix okay the matrix sucks i have to get i have to allow the watermelon and me to survive flip yes i saved the watermelon at least go watermelon save yourself okay i think i know how to win this not that way there we go table flip got it wow that was a 38 impossible all of me won except for this piece i think that's my heart i don't really need it mommy where are we going don't worry little children it's time to take a bike ride down inevitability lane since school's out i thought i would take this opportunity to do a little homeschooling i will now show you all of the horrible things that befall bad little non-believers see that young lady she didn't capitalize her words at the start of sentences [Music] and that kids is why grammar is important one of the little kids would probably be like i don't want to be here anymore fine then get off the bike get off you don't like it there young lady you better pick that brain up off the carpet all right so here's what happens when you don't clean your room there it is here's what happens when you don't do your homework there we go oh no one technically died there a little child to be like ah maybe doing homework isn't that important oh really this is what happens when you talk back to your mother that's right failing in school is vaguely reminiscent to having a sword splitting your sphincter i don't really know what to say about this because there's just a bunch of questions uh that's what happens when you don't eat your vegetables this is actually horrible for a child because he'll be like mommy is santa real he was real this is what happens if you're not potty trained at three days old [Music] there bathed in the blood of your twin he's like oh god the emotional trauma you haven't seen emotional trauma yet remember your sister this is what happens when you sit too close to the freaking tv and when you get older this is when you're gonna have to understand is what happens when you spill beer at a party don't flush the toilet land mine i feel like at this point he'd be like i'm tired of bathing in blood i love how it says drinking poison bottle but it looks like the little girl is drinking a 300 ounce bottle of ketchup i don't really know what to say here so go ahead and absorb the fear and that's what it's like to grow up and now little logan can finally grow up and become the appropriate president of the united states why because he suffered so much emotional havoc that he can't possibly get any more screwed up so we all know what we're gonna get when we elect him anyway folks hope you enjoyed this episode of happy wheels until next time stay foxy much love

Channel: GrayStillPlays

Views: 2,544,963

Rating: 4.9471655 out of 5

Keywords: Simulation Games, graystillplays, gray still plays, greystillplays, simulator, and this happened, tycoon funny, simulator funny moments, funny clips, funny moments, bad life choices game, funny simulator, simulation games, mobile game, stickman fight, stickman game, stickman games, happy wheels, happy wheels funny, \happy wheels gameplay, happy wheels 2020, happy wheels banned levels, happy wheels levels, happy wheels don't move, harpoon jump, happy wheels gameplay

Id: A4C6qkKEMXk

Length: 13min 46sec (826 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 09 2020