All right.
We're checking out the only game where if you rub a lamp
and a genie pops out, the only wish you're allowed
to wish for is death. It's Happy Wheels. This is called my cancerous level. Supposedly, whoever plays this will eventually want
to murder the creator, however, I have a plan. I can already see
what level of cheatery goodness is. Oh crap, Aah, as I was saying
cheater goodness is involved in this. Okay, so there has to be a way
to get all of the harpoons to attack
without me losing all of my body. Like maybe if it just takes a knee, I don't need to be
in adventure anymore. I'm way past my prime. Come on, body. Don't mind me,
just breaking my spinal column in half to try and scorp me in my way down
the side of that springer black, come on. [chuckles] Not today, [chuckles] we have a winner. That was-- I screwed that up, but I screwed it up in such a way
that made me look amazing. Now I'm just keeping strawberry jam
all over these katanas. This is called Ramp Jump. I appreciate that
it tells me this is the ramp. Without the all-lowercase text,
I may not have known. So what exactly do you have to jump? Oh God okay. Aah, [screams] uhh-- Oh, what? [chuckles] I did it. wow, I did it
like in every way possible. I got all the coins and I won. You know what?
Sure, I'm gonna go ahead and save that 'cause I'll never be able
to do it again. This is called Gray Possible. Oh, I'm sorry, that was a lie. It's GSP Nearly Impossible. Where'd the regular possible come from? All right I is stupidity,
let's see how impossible. Ahh, oh, fuck. That turned out to be
way more violent than it needed to be. Anyway, as I was going to say, whoa. Got the first win,
seven seconds even. All right. Oh my God. Uh, is there a place-- I did- I did- I did it. I won, me and all of my different
anatomical parts did this together as one. I always told my internal sausage links,
"We have to work together." This is called
Gray's Spike Set Fall. Hi, Gray, it would honor me if you played this level
and included in a video. Oh, so welcome to hell. I'm glad that
we have such a good relationship. Ahh, I'm still alive. I-I mean, I've got most of my body left. Do I get to win? This is an interesting--
No, no, no note. What is d-- I saw something like
you've activated my trap card. Okay, so it's nothing, it's just sadness. So there's a shorter shaft. Uhhh. Huh, let's try that again.
Shorter shaft, Oh piss, you know what?
We're doing the shorter shaft. Ahh-ha-ha-ha. Oh, my foot made it. Okay, so if you wanna win, there. Oh wow, what a pain in the ass. How much space do I get to win? It's not very much. Ahh. Stand up straight. Woo, there we go. Okay, first one down. All right, past this one. Oh, piss. Go, oh, whoa, what's over here?
If there's nothing, I'm gonna be pissed. There's nothing isn't there? It's just sadness. I don't get-- Welcome to hell. I welcome hell to me. Ahh. My balls we're not ready for this. Okay, so jump over this. Jump agai-- Oh, hell. Jump more. [cries] Hey. Oh, stop, stop, stop,
stop, stop, stop, stop. Ah, yes, yes, yes, yes. Got it. Oh, good to see
another young leaper around, this is called Rope. That's literally it. I don't know, looking pretty impressive
for a game just called Rope. Okay. And holy crap. This is a fast conveyor belt--
I'm screwed. Never mind, I'm fine. [chuckles] Oh piss. Ah-ha-ah. And, uhh. Aah, if there's one thing I love, it's getting massaged
by bloody stools. Okay, and then get shipped out of here
and then. Oh, what the hell? Aah, huh, well this is incredibly difficult
right here. Here. Jump, grab around yeete, full flip, land on the face. Now I might actually want to go,
oh piss. Oh, this is so bad. Oh, this is a lot worse than I wanted. I was gonna say
maybe I should keep my arms like a little bit to the front. But you know what,
we're gonna do it this way. Grab, jump, full flip. I'm still alive. All right, this frickin rope board's
a pain in my ass. We've got to pull out all the stops,
all right. Face first there. Perfect down. Beautiful.
Now I can get a full swing. [screams] My head is stuck in the rope,
are you kidding me? [sreams] Full flip. All right. We're gonna try
and do crab walk landing this time. Maybe this will have
a better outcome here. Here we go. And grab and full,
oh my God, 85 flips. Okay. If I can get past this one,
I can get to the wind. This is no problem. No, it's a big problem. Okay. The spine-breaking crab walk
is definitely the way to approach this. So crab walk, fall, grab swing,
full flip, grab, swing. Yes. There you go. And we got all the wins
and still managed to fall to our death. This is called
Grab That Jet Anti-Cheat. Okay. Well, that's-that makes me very sad. All right.
So I'm guessing what you have to do. Turn on the magnet. Grab [screams] Oh my God. All right, baby. Let's do this. This is gonna be a pain in my ass,
isn't it? The hell are you supposed to do here? Okay. How about if I go lower there and boom I'm still alive? Nevermind. Okay. I think I've done this like 30 times now. [screams] Oh, all right [screams] Hell, yes. I think one of my prompts
in my chest, this is called the Impossible Box level
with five endings. All right. Bye, Tom. Okay. Grab up here, swing down this way. I like how one's just called
The good ending. Is there then an evil ending. Eataly deep this way. Whoops. Bye, Tom. You're the best son I ever had. He's probably like,
I'm the only son you had. Yeah. Tomato. Tomato. Okay. Slide-in here. Why dad? Got it. All right. That's when number one, there's always something back here. Worst ending. Hell is waiting for you. [laughs] And Timmy is it going with you
because you let him die. Okay. So that was ending number two,
right? Fall down here and then eatily deep
my way this way. Oh, not that way. I already won that way.
There we go. Yeah. Speed. Oh, that wasn't that fast at all. Really? Oh, that could have been real bad, but as I say,
ah, the Rickrolled ending. Dang. Oh, can I jump over this now? But I can go this way. Right? Secret win. Woo. Sure. [screams] Yay. All right. Three endings so far. I'd have it.
If I keep the bike. Okay. And then get past
the Rick rolls over here. Hold on. There has to be a way to do it. [screams] Oh, there was like a little secret area. All right. I had to let Timmy die there
just so I could find out. Okay. So this-this was the full
Rickrolled ending with the lyrics. Okay. I found the last ending, but it is very, very difficult
to get to what you have to do. Dropdown here, use Tom. Ah, crap. Um, I think I can still do this. Oh, Hey, now kinda you gotta slide through this and then down and then there it is. The best secret ending where everyone comes home together
except for my son, again. Honestly, I'm just glad I didn't land
this bike ride on my wife's head. Welcome to Occupy The World 3. Oh, Egypt's. Oh piss, I lived. Oh, so you can't fall into the water. Okay. So Egypt I'm dead. Okay. Egypt, bam. Get that crap. And that crap outta here. Oh no. [screams] What a save Turkey. Oh, this is unbelievably difficult because you have to land here. I've gotta get this,
don't touch the battle-ax actually, I have an idea. If I just push him out of here, I won't have to deal with
the battle-ax or him. So in a way
there's a little bit of strategy involved. All right, there we go. So he's gone now
we have to beat Turkey. So get right about
to the middle about there, and then Yates and beautiful, ah, Turkey, classic land of girls wearing
broad swords on their heads. Common cultural thing, okay? All right, now just gotta give her
a little-little, like, pogo [sighs]--
Just frickin' hit her shoe or something. There we go. All right. Oh fuck. You know what? I'm fine. Guy doing the Russia dance
with a sword in his hand, pretty typical. I'm- I'm not gonna make it. This is hell of a board you've made. [grunts] All right,
let's land a little bit farther forward. Perfect.
Okay, so what I can do is boop, there we go [laughs]. Like, I feel kinda bad
about yeeting a little girl but I also don't kinda feel bad because
she's killed me so many times [laughs]. Okay, oh sweet vodka. Now it is obviously important
[grunts] to beat everyone, so there we go. All right, now we have grease, which of course has a scimitar and beauty. Wow, you really have to go
across the entire world. -No, God.
-Ooh, that was almost really bad. Why are there two children
wielding an-an ax? What is going on here? All right lady, you-- Oh, Jesus. You and your damned sword
are in my way. Oh no, I don't want that
to go up the ass. No. Well, I guess, in retrospect, this makes my job a lot easier
getting rid of her. [grunts] Oh no. Beating the world
is insanely difficult. Yay. Goodbye. All right, I gotta get past Italy. Actually, hmm. Okay, one, two, three. [grunts] Lean forward. Nice. Get outta here you juveniles. Ah, it's caught my pogo stick. Oh, that was almost so bad. [gasps] I'm almost at the end. I've almost defeated the entire planet. I gotta get past Spain. Everyone in Spain levitates
in butcher's cleavers somehow. Here we go. [grunts] Oh y-y-y-y-yes. Oh my God. Oh we savin' that. This is called Pain. No, I knew it. Whenever there's something-- Ow. I was gonna say,
whenever there's something that says "Over here", it's usually-- Whoa, uh, usually a gigantic trap
but I do want to see what's down here. Oh, there's a win. You can win that way. Okay, hold down. Do your duty, Tom. -Damn it. -Well done kid. Now, I do have to stick
a little bit close to the wall here. Perfect, and I got the coin. All right, win number one.
What'd we got over here? Oh [grunts], ah. Oh my head exploded out my ass. That's unusual. Bring it on. All right, bring it on less. Yay. I have a feeling
that's gonna help me a lot. Didn't help me out
as much as I thought it would. All right, Tom. I'm gonna have to yeet you
a little bit further. A little bit furtherer, uh-uh. Um, if I can-- [grunts] I was gonna say,
if I cold somehow get off of this harpoon, but it is very, very stuck
in my balls right now. Maybe I can just bring
the harpoon with me. Let's see. [grunts] Deflection. Bring it on. Yeah, come on.
What do you got for me explosive thingy? Oh, crap. I have no idea
how the hell I survived that and you know what? I don't care. A win is a win. Whoop. You idiot, you thought you know-- What? One? No, you didn't. You're supposed-- Are you kidding me? You sick bastard. Oh, at least I got to the end of this. This is called Survive the Blades. It says "Just do it". All right, doesn't look that bad. All right, got some blades here. There we go.
Oh yeah, this is all about timing. All right, ow, there goes my son. All right, through here. Oh yeah, we're running it now. It only--
It said I had to survive, right? My son is optional, correct? All right the-- That's not really a blade. That is a- that is a spear,
but I'll still try. [grunts] You know what? Fine. Clearly doing this slow
was the wrong way to go about this. Yeah-yeah Got it. Oh, oh, the guacamole-flavored
tortilla chips were really violent. This is called Grey's 99% Impossible. [music] I-I did it, or my heart did it, but probably more of my body did it
but it happened so quick that I missed the rest of it. It's time for a bottle run,
but first, death. Hmm, it says death but I feel like
there's more to it, hold on. -When I hear the "Damn it"-
-Damn it. -There it is. That means that my son
would have met his maker. Alright, down here. There we go,
I knew I could get there. Alright,
now for the actual bottle run. Oh yeah. No problem. This is called 100% Impossible. Honestly,
after what I've been through already, it doesn't look that bad. I can probably
even do this the slow way. Oh, yeah, look at--
Oh, there goes my son. Oh. You know what? Again, screw it. Going slow is for squares [laughs]. Told you,
we dividing by zero up in here. This is called
Literal Impossible Jet Fall for Gray. Also, my alien friend
bled all over the board, excellent. Oh my god. Your board may be, unfair. That's okay though, we're doing it, we're doing it. Wha-- Oh, literal impossible [laughs]. I can't even type anything,
I would say a "yeet" here. This is called Gra-- Ow. This is called Gray's therapy. Okay, that wasn't that bad. This is called Godzilla. -[laugh]
-This is- this is literally the-the most janked Godzilla
I've ever seen in my life. Look at the little feet [laughs]. What kinda cursed Godzilla is this? Oh, you can kill all the towers,
fuck yes. It's like Godzilla
or something like that. Like, Bill, the one Godzilla that spent his whole life
inside of the Godzilla cubicles. I'm just gonna- you know,
I'm just gonna roll on people [laughs]. Oh, the police station. Oh, they're fighting back. Alright juggle the balls, there we go. Oh, were-- There got a--
We got a lot of stuff coming out us now. And Godzilla wins. I've gotta find a better Godzilla,
hold on. This is called-- Oh my god. Oh, the roar was awesome. This is called Godzilla, I thought I will get to be Godzilla, not I was getting chased
by Godzilla [laughs]. Uh, what the hell is this? What is this? Let me through. So, if I get stepped on by the foot,
do I die? [laughs] The foot just crushing
everything is amazing. Oh, it's Godzilla. Someone put a lot of time into this. I love how we're escaping the city
my son and I on a damn bicycle. Go here, like I have a choi-- Uh, I won. If there's one thing
that Godzilla has taught me, it's that winning
is exactly the same as losing. Alright folks I hope you enjoyed
this episode of Happy Wheels, till the next time. Stay foxy and much love.
