-All right. We’re checking out
the only game where the only diet flavor available from
the soda machine is violence. It’s Happy Wheels. In this bottle flip, I can’t
help but think about how things have gotten significantly out of hand. MLG Son is now surrounded
by like, half a dozen black holes, what the hell am I supposed to do here? At the very least I-I do
appreciate that maximum and minimum penetratus
are st-- Did I go through them? I’m still here. Bruh. [laughs] What. I did it. I don’t
know what this is but I did it. Now I’m gonna do it some more. Crap. Really? I wanna get the stuff behind me. Oh, there’s 10 levels
of penetration, we went straight to 11. That’s what I like to see, huh. What? I mean, it’s not standing
up, but give me a break. I can’t believe I made
it through that insanity. Okay, the backside’s unlocked. Here we go. Okay, we didn’t really
get anywhere. Here we go. Right, this backside is
really starting to piss me off. Hey, more violence. [growls] Australian man, all right. [screams] I don’t know why that happened. Oh, I-I don’t know what to tell you. Ow, ow, ow, ow, why? Oh God, actually you know what? [screams] I don’t care how many
times I have to do this, I’m not giving up until
I get-- Gray will find a way, if I’m in there I’m getting it. C’mon. C’mon. I got Spleens The Cat. All right, backside’s unlocked, go. Oh, piss. No. Don’t touch it, do not touch it. Don’t touch the MLG Son. I will explode in a violent bat of chunks. More bottles, no, no, no, no. Ow, my leg. One of my giblets landed
inside of Florida Man. [laughs]. Oh my god, I don’t know you could
land it like this, that’s amazing. Ah, dogwater, one of my favorite flavors. [groans] Ow. [groans] Yes. There it is, you knew I was gonna play
this until I eventually got it, right? This is called,ow, God’s hell. Sorry, you died and went
to God’s version of hell. Joke’s on you. I-I was gonna say I’m still alive. [screams]. Oh my god, I did it. Ah, yes. An instance of get in the hole, where all you have to
do is get in the hole. This doesn’t actually look that bad, this hole looks narrow enough
for the human body to get in. There we go, here,
and we go up, and then, yeah. Got it. Say hello to the happy wall, we have to
escape from-- I don’t know, what is it? Fruit salad prison? This the prison guards?
Okay, click the key. This is everyone’s- this is
everyone’s tax dollars at work here. Oh, I woke up the guards.
From the top row. Boomshakalaka. All right, down the stairs. Open the door, which one? I mean-- Oh, I actually
have three choices. It looks like there’s a human
behind this one, [screams] but this one-- What the hell
is going on here? Out of the way everyone. I’ve got things to do.
Watch out, I’m dead. Nevermind, I’m-- I don’t
know how but I’m still alive. Is that a woman inside of a canon? or is she wearing like, a judge’s apron? or a ge-- I don’t know, whatever it is. Past the prison-- Pitchfork. God. I-I-- At this point, I have a jail
weapon in like, both sides of my body, okay. Bounce off that guy’s groin,
watch out for the security laser. Do you want to come in? Yes. Let’s go, okay. C’mon Santa. Right. All right, no. Oh, I do get to click on the gift. Oh, I escaped. I won. My dead body won. [laughs] This is one of those instances
when the only way that I know that I lived happily ever after
is because I’m already dead. This is called Hell
or Heaven, choose wisely. I mean, I-I’m gonna
have to do both, but, uh, I think you know where we’re going. Why does it look like
we’re going up to-- Oh my God, oh. I-- Did I circumvent
hell? Am I still flying? I am. I’m flying, I went
past hell into heaven. All right, let me
actually try that correctly. Okay, so this is hell, am
I supposed to survi-- I did it. Oh my God, what is heaven? Oh, your little invisible platform. Am I supposed to go somewhere? We’re ascending, here we are. Ow, I mean, I was gonna say,
my arms technically ascended, my body came shortly
after, welcome to heaven. That’s the sad sign you get. This is called Bottle Run Extreme,
I am going to eat those bottles, I’m still alive, I did it, I won. I don’t know how I didn’t die there. This is ca-- This is
called Swing into the Box. Ok, oh wow. Ok grab, up, jump, oh fu--
this is a difficult board, full flip, hell yes, ok legs up
and then thrust, sit, lean, fall, we’ve got a winner. Ah yes, one of those instances
where a man can sit atop his rocket-powered wheelchair and be propelled via
multiple cannons through the air losing all of the limbs
in the process, back down, up, through the thing, lose
the wheelchair no limbs left, and we have a winner. Ow, and I get to rest
a rocket on my balls. This is called Impossible Jet Run, the jets are already-- I was gonna
say the jets are already really big, this doesn’t seem very fair. Oh yeah, I’m dead. All right, I think I know
how to deal with this. Are you ready Tom? And, go. All right, now Tom should get
turned into a milkshake in a second. Here it is, nothing? no explosions? What the hell is this? [yells] oh I’m still alive. [yells] Oh my God. I will never give up, oh, oh my God. [groans] I’m a winner. Impossible Jet Run, aye? This is called The Gray’s
Yeety Jump, you have to jump at maximum distance to get
to the end of the board without, oh this might actually
be pretty difficult. So the problem is, there is one
tiny little winning area all the way at the end of the board
so you have to go fast enough. God. Okay, there it is. So I have an idea of where to land, well, at least my-my foot
has an idea of where to land. Go, okay. So gonna slow down a little
bit, little bit going forward. Okay and then slow, slow, slow,
slow, slow, slow, slow, slow, slow. Ow. Okay I’m getting closer with every go
and my son is still alive, that’s a win. This is a real pain
in the ass board you made. it’s all about speed and agility. Okay, speed and agility. Woo. This is called Jet Run for Gray,
good luck with two-- [yells] Oh my God, what the hell have you done? Ah, oh I’m still alive, I’m still alive. Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, [laughs] yes, we both know you made
it so I’m not supposed to win that. This is called Impossible 10%
I don’t even know what to say, I don’t think I’ve ever--
[yells] you lied. I’m ok-okay. So that is
a lot of arrows in the ass. I was gonna say I’ve never seen
anyone really not shoot for the stars, I feel like this 10% is
kind of like 90% lies. Okay so, woo, woo, woo, woo. [yells] Oh, oh God. Hmm, there is a certain
amount of cheatiness here. Okay, so you can’t go that way. Honestly, this doesn’t look any-- Woo. Okay, here’s the plan, I’m gonna go in, we’re gonna take a lot
of arrows to the knee, I’m talking like 30 years of Skyrimming. Go, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow,
ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, I’m still alive. As long as I can still hear
myself crying in agony I’m fine. All right. Oh God, are you done? You done? All right, I think we’re done. [cries] We’re not done. [moans] Oh God. [cries] My leg is by my left ear, that’s bad. Oh God, oh God. Are we done? We’re done? All right, I’m pretty sure we’re done now. Oh, and hey [laughs] this is called Swing and Slide. All you have to do is swing. Oh my God, and not get
massacred by the slide. Ah, yes. One of those random instances
where you get to go to space. Okay. Oh, this looks mostly glass-spaced. I’m kind of surprised
that I’m still alive. What is it? Oh, you’re in the clouds now. Oh, what does that say? Stop? Still? Oh, I think it’s Gray Still Plays. Whoo. All right. Don’t go down. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. What happens if you do go down? [chuckles]. I need to know now. Okay. Is it-- Oh, whoa. Can’t say I’m surprised but you should really continue
with your original mission. [laughs]. Ow. What happens
if I go even further down? It’s okay. [laughs]. Come on man. [laughs]. Why? Because
I’m Gray Still Plays. You disgust me. Over that. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, hell yeah. [groans] Now I’m really curious. Actually, hold on. Oh, stop, stop, stop,
stop , stop, stop, stop. Is there anything down here. Oh, God. All right, you know what?
We're just gonna go this way. Sorry Tom, get yeetly-deetest. Oh, there’s a whole lot
of nothing right there. I need to know. Ow. It’s okay. That just restarted
the-- [yells] Let’s be real. You went through a lot of trouble
to make all this extra stuff. Oh, God, uh. So I’m gonna
learn what’s down here. Okay, nice and slow. Nice and slow. Perfect. Okay, slow,
slow, slow, slow, slow. Here. Down. Don’t crush your head and there we go. Okay, I got it. So do this. There we go. That
should break all the glass. Ah? Get it. Did nothing to the glass. Ah, dominoes. [laughs]. Here we go. Hell, yes. Through all this. Oh, penis. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. Ooh, [?]. All right. My new plan is to do this without arms. I feel like every time I do this without arms it’s gonna be 100 times better. Okay. Boop. Knock that over and go,
go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Ah, you got to be kidding me. I have to mention too, I’m pretty sure one
of those clouds look like a sperm. Don’t ask me why. Just something I noticed. Okay, knock. There we go. Fall. Perfect. All right. Now
I’m gonna wait a second and we’ll let that explode
then come through here. Here we-- Okay. Trap this. Wait for it. Wait for it. Wait for it. Now. Oh, piss. Oh, God. All this didn’t happen
the way it was supposed to. There we go. Perfect. Okay, good. Go through here. Up. Over. Through. Knock. I’m dead. No, I’m not. Yes, I am.
Oh no, I’m not. Whoa. Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow,
ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. My son, listen, only one
of us could survive the calling. Ah, through the alcohol. [chuckles]. Welcome back to earth.
You cheaty bastard. [laughs]. Fine. Now to be fair, you know,
there is an entire other level here. So, oh, God. Oh, I’m fine. Ah, training my son. I told you there was
that one cloud that was sperm. Right there. It just-- It
went by a little bit ago. Anyway, through the clouds. Oh, I’m gonna die. No, I’m still alive. Okay, so now up through here. Make sure I don’t get crushed. Up. Ah, I didn’t make it. Back. Ah, come on baby. Right. There it is. Bam. Got it. Through. Up. Back. There’s the moon. What did they say?
Oh, no. I want to read it. I can’t read it. [yells] Oh, my legs. Huh, huh. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah okay. I appreciate that my arm
is sitting in a position that makes it look like
I have a titanic wiener. It’s great I’ve got a hood ornament
that basically a big fist bump. Okay, up this way. [yells] Not gonna lie space is very violent. Kind of- kind of prefer
to just be on the ground. Come on, kid. Let’s go. All right, bye. Oh god. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, oh, [gibberish] Yeah. [laughs]. Ouch. The meteors are real. Ah, God. Oh, my freaking arms. Okay. Okay, so the idea here
is to really slow down as you go in, and out of space
because space is very violent. Okay, here we-- Oh,
yeah, there-- Oh, that’s nice. Oh, yeah, look at this. Shooting star. Got it and another co-- Okay,
apparently I have to eat the coin. Boop. Got the coin. Oh, and the last coin is on Earth. Welcome to space. I’m just curious, if I allow
myself to fall off of this, do I land on the third
coin or do I just-- Ow. This is called Satan Gray Huge. Tired of paying child support? Try Satan Daycare. Enjoy the Satan. Here’s some text. What is this? Is this just like fire
or like Satan sparkles? I do wanna see what’s down
there in Satan Daycare. What it say? The board hereby refunds
you Tom’s child support payments. Thank you for choosing
hell, your friend Satan. Yay. All right, Tommy,
you know what to do. First layer of hell. Oh. Second layer of hell. Oh,
devil is very limborous. He doing yoga? Also, is the devil wearing stilettos? Those could be cloven feet,
but they look like stilettos. Third layer of hell, stabbing, maybe. All right, we gotta random
guy inside of prison over there. There goes my child doing
backflips on top of a battleax. That’s nice. All right,
to the forth layer. and the fifth layer. I almost got my chicklets taken
out on a piece of glass there. Yay. All right. Ah, the 666th layer of hell, coming. Also, once I get past this-- Hold on. The seventh layer of hell stabbing yeet. I like how just the description
for this stabbing is yeet. Argh. A lot of hell
you’re gonna get through. Argh. Oh, piss. Hold on. [laughs] The artwork here. It doesn’t
really look like the devil so much as someone’s
horny boa constrictor. I don’t mean like a boa constrictor,
that need like sexual release. I mean, a boa constrictor
that has horns on it. Ninth layer of hell. Ugh. Oh, I almost died. Gray’s very own layer of hell. Stabbing, of course. Is this like an extra special glass area? I’m kind of concerned. It’s not gonna vomit
out more glass, is it? Uh, what the hell, I can’t break it. There we go. Oh, yes. The old anus stabbing. Stabbed him so hard
that he peed out another sword. Excellent. Oh, the smiley faces
are getting kind of obscene here. We got a young woman
resting on a bed of blades, very consistent from--
with the channel. Hey, and we- What is it? Hold on. What is this? It’s like a Satan with anime google eyes. Hold on. I finally have the opportunity
to meet Satan and he looks adorable. Anyways, folks, hope you enjoyed
this episode of Happy Wheels. ‘Til the next time, stay
foxy and much love.
