-Alright.
We're checking out the only game that has at least three different ways
to kill you and your son. It's Happy Wheels.
This is called Gray Impossible. It says,
"Gray, you're going to die playing this." I'm going to go this way
and live instead. So how the hell
am I supposed to get up this? Okay. Hold on. Jesus. Oh. Okay. This could be a problem.
Um, I have an idea. I've got to see
if I could just get part of my body okay, part of my body
connected to the harpoons and then maybe
they could just pull me up. Yeah. Like that, like that, like that.
Pull me. Pull me. Pull me. Pull me. Do it. Do it. No. I was right there. I know I have the right idea.
Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. That's it.
Pull. Pull. Oh, it's in my balls. Damn it, I lost my harpoon.
I needed that. I could see why most people might think that
this board is impossible. What the hell. I broke the game. Seriously, like,
the wheel of my vehicle is up here and it's just a white screen.
What the hell happened? Are you serious? You missed me? [GRUNTS] You want something Ouch. Woo-hoo. Ouch. Oh. Deflection. All right, Tom.
You know what to do buddy. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it, my son.
Do it. Do it. Come on. Come on, kid. Yeah. And we have a win.
Okay. Let's do this again, Tom. Now you have to flutter-kick
toward the landmines. Flutter-kick toward the landmines.
Flutter-kick, Tom. Tom, flutter-kick. For the love of God, get to a landmine.
You know what? It's fine. You don't need to go
toward the landmines. Whoo. My helmet will do it for you. Come on, baby. Come on, baby.
Come on, baby. And we have a winner. Wow, that was actually
pretty impossible. Yeetus. Welcome to Bottle Flip, blue. I hadn't gotten
any impossible bottle flips in a while so I thought, "You know what?
Why not start off with 'very good.' " That and whatever this is. Not good enough yet though.
Okay, I am very, very good apparently. How do I keep doing this?
"You are a Colombian." What? Actually,
I'm only like half of a Colombian. There we go,
finally got it standing straight up, you know, in the nether. I'm not stopping as usual
until I get my shout-out. I want my shout-out. Come on. I'm just getting slightly
more Colombian each time. Oh. I don't know what. I did it.
I did it. I want my shout-out. "Roses are red, violets are blue,
if you landed here I will shout-out you." [LAUGHS] This is called the Heart Run. In case you were wondering
what exactly happens you're not, uh, truly on a marathon
or anything like that. Instead, you must allow your heart to go on a journey
to become an adult heart. Yes, the many tribulations Okay, the heart had trouble getting over There we go.
The many tribulations of being one of, Gray, still plays his organs, although I guess it's better
to be a heart than to be, say, my liver. Through here, up the spike,
down the gigantic cheese doodle, then we're gonna get launched
upward through the, uh, the spikes of
Satan's Dante inferno nether regions. Down here, get thrusted one more time
through what looks like a derpy banana. At the bottom of the banana,
lifted up into space, back down, through the cup,
then down the little sugary circle tabs that were always connected to paper
that you'd get super cheap and you would end up
eating more paper than candy. You know what it is. [?]
Oh my God, that was insane. Awesome Boss,
this was indeed awesome. You get five stars. This is called Epic Board for Gray. "Hello there. it's me, Sir Yeets A Ton.
Hope you liek my epic level." Well, the fact that my son's foot
is kicking me in the ass is kind of concerning. Also, can I get backwards here? Looks like it would normally
be very difficult. However Ah. And, whoop. Yeah. All right,
what do we got down here? It is a pit of Ow. I'm still alive.
Dead body reported you say. All right, now I'm bled out. All right,
now that we've figured that out let us continue onward here
Mr Yeets A Ton. All right, don't fall in. No problem.
Okay, be like this guy. Oh. I landed it. OP. Ow.
All right, here we go, here we go. Nice and slow.
And then watch this, watch this. Here we go. Nice and controlled, perfect.
All right, we did it. Now all I have to do is ride Gumby's gigantic
rubbery forearm here. Okay. Now, I am waiting for Ooh, the hell.
It's a ramp of watermelons. That's delicious. I did it.
That was epic. I love watermelons. This is called
An Unnecessarily Long Spike Fall. Well it's supposed to You know what I mean,
we're missing one letter here. Can I leave? No. All right,
let's see how unnecessarily long it is. Okay. It is pretty long. Ow. All right,
I might have to like legitimately [GRUNTS] There. How about that? Huh?
Oh God. Oh. I did it. Yes. This is just called Z Random. Nope. Let's see how random
this place really is. Not random enough.
All right, guess we're doing it. Yeah. Oh. Oh. I did it. I managed
to dodge all the harpoons somehow. I think the only thing that happened
was they may have caught my balls. Welcome to Meet Knife Saw. I'm kind of concerned
because it's called M-E-E-T not M-E-A-T. So maybe there's actually no,
you know, gigantic amounts of blood. Oh, I'm so dead, I touched it. Well, technically just my pogo stick
touched it. "Touch this rectangle to die." You know what? Oh, I won.
Well, it did kill me but it didn't say I couldn't win
and die at the same time. Welcome to Land Minefield.
I don't like landmines. Yep. Here we go.
Please tell me there's a way not to Now, I guess
I'm doing the land minefield. I haven't actually
seen any physical landmines yet but I have a feeling that
there must be some somewhere. I don't know
how I didn't touch that but whatever. So I have to deal with a crossbow
and the landmines, no problem. So down, pump, lean. Got it.
Perfect. Look at that. Right there. Oh. Oh. Oh God. Oh, the arrows
are blowing up the landmines. Are we done? Are we done?
Okay, I think we're done. All right,
that worked out surprisingly well. "Meet Mr Swordsmen." Mr Swordsmen
has an axe and he's not holding it. I'm not very concerned. Yeet. Okay. Oh, do I have to bounce on this?
I might not. Hold on,
let me get Mr Swordsmen out of the way. There we go. All right. Now, there's one more landmine
it looks like Well, at least one more,
and bounce over it. And there you go. Beat the land minefield. Uh, he's fine. All right.
So this is a three-way I was gonna say
it's a three-way bottle run [CHUCKLES] I just noticed that
the baby version of this only has like four bottles to run through. I still didn't win. I feel like the person
who made this level may have lied to me. Oh, there's an impossible one as well. If the baby one is this bad,
I'm really concerned. All right. So we gotta I gotta touch it like instantly.
This is very difficult. Got it. Okay. All right. That's fine. That was the easy. I'm sorry, that wasn't even the easy,
that was baby. All right, let's see what medium is like. I like how medium is the color of urine. Okay, this looks like a real bottle run.
Oh, yeah. There we go. Hey. All right, maybe that means
Impossible won't be that bad. Maybe the hardest one was baby. And looks like a normal bottle run,
all right. And, oh, what the hell?
Uh, that's a drunken bottle run. Okay, impossible
may be impossible, or not. We'll find out. All right. Gotta dance a little bit,
there we go. Perfect. Oh, second bottle run. Yeah, the person who made this level
may in fact be the devil. Oh. Hell yes. Oh. Yes, yes. No.
Oh. Okay, I just saw the end. It is f Ow. I was gonna say it is filled
with harpoons and homing mines. Oh, yeah. Oh, we're eating it. Yeah, nice. Oh. Oh. I was right there. No. [MUSIC] Impossible to say. I'll be the judge of,
oh God, that. Go, go, go, go, go, go. Yikes. I'm still alive. All right, Tom,
here's how this is gonna work. I gotta feed you to the wolves, buddy.
It's the only way man. Sorry. All right.
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go and then yay. Oh, no. That worked out so well right
until it didn't. Go. No. I'm not gonna lie, this level definitely
gets its name of impossible. Ah, okay. I've been I've done this like 50 times,
impossible, super impossible, not because it's hard to get across this, but because it's like
hitting a wall of freaking explosives all the way at the end. Go. Ah, I'm dead.
No, I'm so [?] I did it. 14:20, baby. I won and then probably went to space,
that's nice. This is called, Glass Prison Escape. It says, "Can you escape the glass prison
I have built you?" But the real idea
is to always go backwards. Ow, let's try that again. Go backwards. Hey. There we go. Nice.
Perfect. Yes. Are you serious? Let's try and do that
without blowing my head up. And yeet up. Oh God.
Feet first, perfect. Now, I'm here. Oh my God. I almost got stabbed
10,000 times in the face. Okay, we're almost there.
We just need to get this last coin. Hey, how the hell I've got to break these last few shards because if they stick me
in the head I'm gonna die. All right. Now, limbo, limbo. Yes, yes, yes.
Do it, do it, do it, Pogo Man. Okay, now rise up, rise like the phoenix. Oh, Oh. Okay. Yes. Oh no, no, no, no, no.
Yes. No. Yes. And we have a winner. I just barely kept
from that entire area suddenly exploding. This is called Segway Man Robs the Bank.
"A bank that you just robbed." What the hell?
I'm going from one bank to the next? Was that like the warm-up bank? Although Also, who is this?
Is this like their security guard? Really scraping the bottom of the barrel. "Get out of their.
The cops are properly their." You gotta google translate,
let's do this. Aah. Oh. I didn't die there. Also, how come the cops
are using harpoons? Oh God.
This is a lot more difficult of an escape than I previously anticipated. My leg's getting in the way. All right. Well, my leg is no longer
going to get in the way. And yay. This freaking police van
is really pissing me off. There we go. Got it.
Ow. I can still escape. Never mind, no I can't.
Bank robbery escape number two. Boom. Darn. Ah, to my ass. Well, this is a pretty good analog
for the entire channel, I feel. I didn't think
it would be this hard to rob a bank. Oh. Yes. Okay, good. Now, I just need to Perfect. Yeet. Whoop.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, we got it. There it is. There it is. Okay, over this.
A freaking harpoon's in the way. Here we go. Ow. I'm lost
and hungry and thirsty and cold. Wait, is that a bank? I'm not gonna lie. This story line is kind of confusing,
Oh, wait, hold on. Now, you're not cold anymore.
Here we go. I won. I'm very concerned.
This is called, Gray Still Tries. No cheating, you say? [LAUGHS] Ow, I'm alive. I'm still alive. When I fall I'm going to die,
but right now, I was still alive. Tom, you know what to do.
Go get them, boy. Ow. All right.
And now we can cheat down this way. Oh, there's literally nothing here.
It's just sadness. All right. Actually, hold on a second. Ah, crap. Really?
Oh, the end isn't that far away. See, my plan is,
is that I'm gonna use Tom there. He's gonna explode, okay? And then the crossbow bolts
were supposed to shoot his body parts but the only thing that's left
is one of his Reeboks. All right. Ow.
This why you brush your teeth, kids. My teeth are taking a lot. Ow. Yeet. 2.0. Okay, these crossbow bolts
are a real pain in my head and neck and my son's head and neck. Aha. Aha, I'm levitating
with the crossbow bolts. Where'd my son go? Ah, whatever, I'm sure he's fine.
And we have a win. Oh, you liar. Into a bottle run. Hold on, before I do this bottle run,
is there anything over here? Uh, I guess I better do the bottle run.
Whoop. Please do not Okay, I'm starting to get concerned on Oh. What I was trying to say
is that I'm starting to get concerned Ow. On exactly where the hell
the end of the board is. This is a tough board you made.
Okay. All right. So get through here, go through here, fall down this way,
and then what? Okay, there's So there's definitely something
below the fake bottle run. Okay, is there any "Hi again." Yeah, hey, you bastard. Harpoon run.
I'm pooping out my intestines. Come with me, crossbow bolts
if you want to live. I don't know
what the hell kind of board you made but I'm going to get past it
one way or the other. Here we go. I'm okay.
I'm still alive. I'm very screwed now. Okay, so the question is how exactly
do I get past the harpoons? There goes my leg.
Well, you can use almost any character, so now I need to figure out exactly what the hell it's going to take for me
to complete this level. One of the things it will take is an anus-filled adventure
of crossbow bolts. All right. So the biggest issue
is going to be dealing with this. Now, sometimes if you do the worm,
you're able to get underneath Yeah. I'm fine. Okay. As I was saying, if you do the worm sometimes
you are able to get past all this. Okay, the only thing that this is doing
is giving me a colon-filled with arrows. All right, if I have two sacrificial lambs
maybe this will work better. Yay. Well that didn't work.
Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Hey, so far so good. Okay, Susie. Make your mom proud.
Go get them. Ow. Okay I have I know this looks really bad. Okay. I have a plan.
I think I can cheat this board. There has to be a way to cheat this. Okay, watch this.
Now, a lot of times people will put Oh, god damn it. Hold on. Here we go. People will put an invisible barrier
on top of the platform but they won't put it on the side. Yes. Yes. Oh [?] your boy just got che What? [LAUGHS] Welcome to Sanic Extreme. Ah, yes. Get Oh, shit.
I just missed some of the coins. You can see how well he pilots. It's like driving a washing machine, domestic abuse,
drug-addicted pack of cigarettes. This is weird. I'm actually looking at myself,
face to face. It's almost like
someone used ctrl+c, ctrl+v. What the hell did I just play?
I wanted slightly more Sanic. This is called Sanic Loves You.
You don't like me? Yep. You are indeed the thing of nightmares. Love me. Sanic's trying to kill me. [LAUGHS] It's like an obstacle course
but it's all Sanics. There you go. Got it.
Had to get that one last jump scare in. Someone told me to play that level and now I'm forever hesitant
to listen to what anyone has to say. Anyway, folks, hope you
enjoyed this episode of Happy Wheels. Until the next time, stay foxy. Much love.
