-All right.
We're checking out the only game where the most violent color
in the rainbow is orange. It's Happy Wheels. I've been told to enjoy
the pain of oranges, and so I will do this. Plus I'm Floridian, so this makes a lot of sense to me. All right.
Up the rock. Deflection. Oh my God, I'm not gonna survive this. Nevermind. A hell of a board you've made so far. Ow.
Now. Dammit. Oh, I lost--
Oh, God. I-I-I can do this. I can win. I'm a winner. [screams]
I did it. Oh my God [laughs] with half my body. Also, this says,
"Sub to Soapgen on YouTube." I want everyone to go there and say,
I love mashed potatoes in his comment section. I just want to see what happens. This is called The Ez/Hard Spike Fall. Can I just pick the easy or--? Well, apparently there's no way. All right. Well, easy/hard it is. Oh. But where's the hard part? I mean, it just looks
like a normal spike fall. I-I think I can do this. Oh, aw, aw. God, I'm hitting every single blade on the way down. I- [chuckles] I'm losing most of my legs. Oh, God. All right. Let's try that with
a little bit less torture. And yeet, argh. Yes.
Uh, what? I-I did it.
I won. How?
Whatever I'll take it. This is called 99.9% impossible. I'll be the judge of that. [grunts] All right. That probably wasn't
the best way I could have started this board. Yeet. Dammit. You've certainly inundated
the place with explosives. Crap.
Actually, hold on. Uh, boop. Ah. I can't even turn fast enough
to not die. Dammit.
I can see where the 99% are at. Backflip. All I did when I backflipped
was die backwards. I feel like there's a certain lack
of fairness on this board. Whenever I get turned into a-- [screams]
As I was saying, whenever, I get turned into a piece of pepperoni
and I'm still getting shot with crossbow balls,
I'm not super happy about-- Ah, this may-- This may-this may actually be
one that is 99% impossible, but I'm not giving up. I don't care what it takes. Argh. I-- What the hell? I-I broke the wrecking ball. Yeah.
[laughs] How you like them apples? Didn't think I could cheat your board,
did you? Yeeeeet. Welcome to rope swing rainbow. It says, "Mr. Gray I challenge you."
You got it. What?
Ow. What the hell are you supposed to do? I see, Mr. SS.R, that you have 2.5K subs and you want to reach 3K. My advice to you, embrace the pain. Oh, hell yes. Oh, God.
Oh, my arms. Why? No, you just needed to work with me for like 10 more seconds
and we could have had this. I think I'm screwed. I-I don't actually think that there's
a way I can get past this now. All right. Go, flip, up. I'm dead.
Yeet. Ah.
I'm not dead, I'm just resting. This is a hell of a board you've made. And yeet. Oh, no. Give it to me. At this point, I think literally
like every part of my body has touched these swords,
every nook and cranny. [groans] I'm still alive. I can totally do this. I can-I can do this. We don't need balls [groans] where we're going. Come on. Come on, baby. Nixon. Don't you-don't you ever give up. Don't think about the anguish. Just-just understand
that it's part of YouTube. Come on, Nixon. Dammit. The little- the little boost thing keeps
throwing me back into the blades. Come on, jiggle, jiggle,
jiggle, jiggle your scrote. Jiggle your scrote. You can do this. I'll never give up. I've obtained so many free lobotomies. At this point,
there's nothing left to lobotomize. Oh, beautiful. Holy crap.
There's more. I just lost an arm. Okay, I still have one arm left. It's gonna be okay. Ah, no. You son of a bi-- This is an insane rope swing
you've made. Go. Whoo. Nice. Okay, so now a controlled fall, grab nice and slow, grab. Keep all my arms, down. Oh, yeah. Oh, we're doing it. We're doing it. We're doing it. Grab. Yeet. No, I trusted you. That was like the first and last mistake. All right, down, grab, through the psychedelic-- [groans] Full flip, lands it, perfect. Okay, onto the psychedelic platform. Uh, crap, one of my arms
is like stuck inside. [groans] This rope swing. Yes. Okay, oh, make this work. Make this work. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes, grab, swing, yeah. This is called heepy jamp. No, seriously that's what it's called, heepy jamp. I have-- How come I can't control
my freaking Segway. My Segway is-
it's got a mind of its own. Oh my God, you have to do this with the- with a drugged-out Segway? How?
Okay, hold on. Come on, no. Go, did it. Okay, and now to-- Jesus. Ooh, I think
I found a way to cheat it. [chuckles] Never mind. This is so stupid.
[laughs] Oh, I've-I won. There's like little secret win
down here, yes. I'm curious if there's a real board,
like a real board ending here. Obviously, there's a secret win
but is there a-- There's definitely more to this. Oh my God. [groans] This is-- [groans] I don't wanna win that way,
I've already won that way. This is an insanely long
and very impossibly stupid board. Go, go. Ow, no, no, no, no, no. That's a new personal best. Oh hell yes. Oh, oh, there's a freaking landmine. Okay, my-
okay, the-the Segway isn't jumping on its own anymore so that's good. How the hell am I supposed to-- Oh, come on. One leg is all I need
to complete this bull crap. Yeet, yeet. Oh, right there. No, lean back, lean back,
lean back, please. No.
I'm never gonna give up. I've come this close to a real ending
we're gonna get it, dammit. There goes a foot. Feeder for plebs. I'm not gonna lie, I kinda-- [groans] I was gonna say,
I kinda wish I was a pleb right now. Oh, oh, no, no.
Oh, God. I almost died like 30 times just now. Oh, God. Fu-- Damn. Okay, I got rid of one the explosives,
I just-- [groans] I was gonna say I just need to find out
where I'm gonna land at. All right, ze-zero legs. No, no, no, let go of it. Oh, I did it. Oh my God. Oh, the freaking landmine
shot my giblets into the wind. What a weird way to win but I'll take it. That's getting saved. Welcome jetpack run. Hard. Huh?
Kind of like flappy birds. Ow.
Oh yeah. Oh, we're running it.
We're running it now. Okay, oh, yeah. Oh, oh, it's so-so smooth. So sweet. Down.[screams] Oh yeah, yes. Yeah, first try. Oh yes, GrayStillFlips 1.0.1. Welcome to Yeetville. Home of the Yeet-Beaters. There are so many things here I wanna get. I definitely want to give
Tom Hardy fatherly advice. Tom Hardy loves you. Yeah, he loves me, right. Oh. I love that there's
so much like familial stuff going on in this particular bottle flip. All hail Reginald. Ow, I went into the bone zone and this is what I got. It seems like a lot of this board
is just the various things killing me. Okay, not today Satan, very good and oh, off the itchy nipples onto half a yeetus. Oh, WTF, yes. I do wanna give Tom Hardy fatherly advice. "Don't worry, Tom. Most guys beat their yeet." [laughs] Ain't that the truth. What the hell? I sent a bottle right back
to where it was born, that's interesting. Right, now I-I can finally
get that bottle back. Oh, and there's the win. Oh, just got "Who needs physics?" Yes. You asked me if it's possible
and the answer is you're damn right it is. Oh, I got itchy nipples standing up,
that's nice. This is called the challenge-- What the hell? [laughs] Okay, real quick,
this is called the Challenge of Doom. You're supposed to try
and avoid all obstacles and I did it by not doing anything. I did it. This is called Escape the Box. You have 10 seconds
to escape the box and survive. If you don't escape the box,
this is this is what happens. Okay, [groans] got to escape the box, gotta escape the box. Come on. This glass is gonna be
a real pain in my ass. I might be able to survive this. [laughs] Ow. God, the glass is freaking violent. Um, hmm. Oh, oh, here we go,
here we go, here we go. No-no-no-no, I'm there, I'm there. Ow, my ass. God, I could still do it, yes. [laughs]
This is called, it's Such a pity. It says I tested it and it's possible. Oh, you have to get the coin, but you only have
one millisecond to react. Yeet. Oh, okay, hold on. [grunts] Uh, our crap. Boom. Come on, dammit. How about if I shock downward? Nope. Up, hmm, explosion, let go. How about that? Oh-oh, I'm right there. Okay, letting go is the key. Ah, Go, dammit. We're going for it-we're going for-- Come on. Yeet God. The yeet God is with me. Ah, yes. Another instance
of insurmountable grace and skill. Look at how easily [laughs]
I made it to avoid 10 billion harpoons. The plot twist
is my blood pressure is gonna strangle me to death later tonight. This is called the floor is lava. It says, don't let
your body touch the floor. You got it,
but it's time for a title card. All right. So, don't let your body touch the floor. What part of the-- Whoa. So wait, is my pogo stick allowed
to touch it? Oh, I'm fine. This is no big deal. [screams] Never mind, it's a huge deal. All right. Well, oh, piss. Okay. At first, I thought
the floor wasn't really that dangerous, but it turns out the floor is very,
very dangerous. Is there like a secret area down here? [laughs]
You're a noob. All right. I'm gonna take this a little bit more,
oh, seriously. Ah, crap. Okay, nice and easy and lean, jump, land. Perfect.
Okay, now hop. Oh, don't hop that much. Back over to alcoholism. Perfect.
No, yes. All right.
And hop. Oh, no. I'm on the TV. I'm-I-I don't know how to salvage this. Oh, piss.
Okay. Ah, I don't know
what the hell happened there. All right. Lean, up, land, crap. I can salvage this. Okay, perfect. All right. So now land on the chain-on the chain. [groans]
Yes. All right, do the worm. Beautiful. I don't know how this bird
has managed to survive lava, but it seems
like a fantastic marketing tagline. I can't jump off this freaking chain. There we go. I lost my helmet, that's bad. Holy crap, how long is this board? All right. Oh-- Oh, no. Saved. Right, onto the garbage cans. Nice. Oh, oh I did it. I think I made it off the lava. Go, yes. Lava and me we're always good friends. It's called Falling Meteors. You have to survive the falling meteors. All right. How bad can it be? I-I did it, I survived. Oh, I have to survive a lot more. My brother, your-- Oh, God. I was gonna say your neck
is in the way of my pogo stick. Freaking garbage cans. God, if it's not a stick of celery, it's someone's brain getting
caught inside of my pogo stick. All right, up here. "Warning lifting meteors." What? You know what, I don't wanna know. Up here, get yeeted. Come on.
Go-go-go-go-go. [laughs] All right.
Defeat the dollar store ninja turtle. Yep, bam. Stop shoving your swords in my ass. Why? Wow, I-I'm actually taking
his arms with me. This is amazing. Oh, no. Whoo. Talk about just barely making it. Okay, through the hobo, off of the toilet,
hit the meteor right. There we go. Now get to the very end. Oh, what the hell? And, yeet, perfect. And we have a winner. Welcome to rope swing. Woodcutter. Supposedly you're a lumberjack, who for some reason
has to swing across some ropes. Look, man,
we're not here because of the story, we're here because
of the keen-looking conveyor belts that are probably going
to make me hate my life. Actually,
everything's pretty smooth so far. All right, fall down here. Hey. Oh, it says, "Dad got home." I thought it said, "Dad got fired." [laughs] See, I'm so used to always
assuming the worst. This is Iron Man jetpack. This is like the most cursed Iron Man. Oh, okay. Oh, yeah. Oh, I was born to-- [sighs] I was gonna say I was born
to be Iron Man. Go, shi-- All right, nice and smooth, nice-- Ow. That's all right Iron Man's ass
can take it. Aye. [laughs]
My rectum's like iron. Tom said he wanted to meet Iron Man,
so I thought I'd give him the opportunity. [laughs] Oh, God. Can you legitimately win this? Is there something up here? Oh, there's more Tom Hardys. Hold on, they're like right up
here somewhere. There we go. [laughs] Come with me, children.
[laughs] I think I've learned
that if you don't want to be a parent anymore,
just bring your kids to meet Iron Man. Anyway, folks, hope you enjoyed
this episode of Happy Wheels. Till next time, stay foxy and much love.
