"FRIED CHICKEN" - Jim Gaffigan Standup (King Baby)

I haven't eaten in like 40 minutes that's weird for me Americans we love to eat when we're not eating we're too in gum we're literally practicing eating yeah I got big meal coming up training for Thanksgiving Thanksgiving that is all about overeating I mean one of the main dishes is actually called stuffing stuffing what names that they turn down cram it in eat till you can't breathe am I the only one that doesn't feel comfortable with the fact stuffing is cooked inside a dead animal shove a loaf of bread up there delicious kind of a humiliating way to go out for the turkey you're gonna kill me oh it's gonna get a lot worse you do not want to know my problem is I love all the food that's bad for you I like bacon we know you like making fried chicken you'll put a piece of fried chicken on a paper napkin you come back and the napkins turn into liquid fried chicken can't be good for you really I mean one of the serving sizes is bucket no no we feed farm animals yeah a bucket of fried chicken a silo of Pepsi and I trough a pig slop make the pig slop diet speaking of pig slop have you tried one of those KFC bowls it's like KFC is a corporation to say you know all their crap tastes the same well we're just throwing in a bowl and I'll tell you it's delicious there's a layer of mashed potatoes and layer of corn a layer of cigarette butts couple apple cores it's like Charlotte's Web where's Templeton Popeyes is my favorite fried chicken I love Popeyes I love that name oh I get it Popeye was a sailor and your food goes through me like a torpedo that makes sense Popeye ate spinach and now I have dysentery Popeye had mussels I can't stand up maybe they're not talking about the cartoon character Popeye maybe they're talking about what happens to your eyes after you eat the food I eat the fast food I do amazing our attitude on fast food changes when you're a kid at your favorite place but as an adult you look at fast food like someone you used to date I can't believe I ever went there then the next night well it's late and I'm drunk [Music] we're also embarrassed eat fast will you ever go in there everyone sitting by themselves they're hunched over wearing a ski mask don't tell my wife I'm here they know we're embarrassed to eat fast food that's why they invented the drive-thru look no one has to see it just drive around back we'll hang it out the window a driver is pretty convenient right except for that final stretch for your food you're like can you bring your building closer to my car do I have to do everything what a pain in the ass why is he reaching out the passenger side of the car as fast food places are so fast and easy people ruined me for regular restaurants whenever I'm in a regular restaurant I'm always like let's see I will order the hamburger where is it sir how would you like your hamburger done right now where is it and can you wrap it in paper so I feel like I'm opening a present or maybe put it a Styrofoam clamshell and present it like an engagement ring I do you got all the food fast food plate is so bad for you I love how there's the option of a milkshake well I shouldn't but I'm in a hurry so I'll get a burger and fries and to drink I'll have the large cup of melted ice cream do you have an EKG machine back most restaurants try and set a mood fast-food places are brightly lit smell like disinfectant the furnitures bolted down where am i a mental institution I love the fast hi thanks for watching hit subscribe if you want if you want to see more stand-up I've more stand-up or if you want to see an original show like let's get cooking or the Mike and Pat show that's available on my channel but also just know that I'll be posting a new video every day during this pandemic or until the world ends police hit subscribe and turn on your alert or a notification button

Channel: jimgaffigan

Views: 404,296

Rating: 4.9460158 out of 5

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Id: 8s0m5M8aTFY

Length: 5min 40sec (340 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 04 2020