-All right, we’re checking out
the only game where the best way to deal with glass is to
get it shoved up your ass. [groans] It’s Happy Wheels. Yes, go. I-I did it. I think I did it. This is called glass fall. You have to break through all the glass. Oh, wow, that was nowhere near the end. Don’t mind me, just doing a full flip. I think I may have screwed myself. Never mind, I’m fine. Ah. As I was trying to say, the idea is, you need to break
all of the various glass, which is easier said than done,
but here we go. Prepare your anus. [groans] Oh, my leg. Come on, baby, rise is up. Rise up. Want the most push you can get. Up, down. [groans] Well,
we’ve cleared all of the other glass. Now I just have to get
the rest shoved up my ass. A nice glass enema. Got it. and we have a winner. This is called the 99.9%
impossible Pogo Pro. Is there a way to leave? There is not. All right, well. I mean, it doesn’t look that bad. There’s a lot of spikes on the ground. [groans] As I was saying,
there’s a lot of spikes on the ground, but honestly, they’re not gonna kill you. They’re just going to make
your-your ass very sorry. Okay. Now they’re- now they’re starting
to get a little higher here. This is- this is gonna-- It’s gonna
start getting a little bit-- Okay. [groans] Yay, there we go. And, oh, what a landing now? Now you wanna- you wanna,
like, worm forward, okay? No, a little bit more. Oh, oh, more. Oh,
I am so close to dying repeatedly here. There it is. Beauty. Okay. and ready, jump. No. Oh, my neck. Inch your way through here, but be
ready to think fast when you’re done. Joke’s on you. I don’t think at all. Okay. Oh, yeah. Oh, oh, I was born to do that. Oh, all right. I’m getting pretty good
at landing on these, though. Whoop. and over, down. You know what? I’m gonna go ahead
and inch this way this time. Now, you have to use your butt muscles. Okay. Now I assume that there’s going
to be some harpoons at the end. That’s the only thing
that I can think of where I would have to think fast or meteorite? There’s always meteorites. I don’t know why. Oh, God, no. No. You, sir, are the devil. All right. Yup. This is gonna be a lot more of a pain
in the ass than I thought it would be. Congratulations. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. Come on. Oh, I hate you so much. I feel like there’s a certain
level of unfairness to this board. Leave me alone. Yes. Oh, I did it. The ceiling isn’t gonna, like,
fall on me or something, is it? How long is this board? This isn’t actually like
a Pogo fight or anything. It’s gotten really? Oh, that’s the end. There’s no way it’s just the end. There has to be like
a harpoon or something. I know there is. You lying to me? Uh-huh, you cheaty bastard. Yay. Oh, oh. Oh, come on. [groans] This board makes me poop blood. I have no helmet,
but I’m never going to give up. Never going to give up. Yes, suck on that one time. That was a very, very difficult level. This is called the destructive car. It looks like a half-used pencil
eraser with a bunch of spikes on it. I like it. Okay. So how destructive? Oh, yeah. Oh, oh, my God, this thing’s incredible. Nothing can stop the destruction car. All right, go through the chains. Oh, yeah, yeah. It’s incredible. Through all the tables. It’s like a better Destruction Derby. [laughs] Through all the TVs. It’s amazing. Oh, oh, anything else
you wanna put in front of me? Oh, you have to go backwards now, okay. There’s quite a bit
of destruction to do here. Okay, now, this looks difficult. We’ve got a whole bunch of tree trunks. Can it make it through the tree trunks? Oh, it sure can. Full flip. Like a turtle, I have fallen on my shell,
and-and I can’t get up. The wheels are starting to gyrate. Oh, my God,
the wheels are starting to break again. The wheels are starting to go
faster than they’re made to go. Am I going to eventually
go through some kind of black hole into a different
Happy Wheels dimension? All right, I got stuck,
so I have to do it again. Not that I- not that I care
that much because this is fantastic. There’s a sale at Best Buy. All right, now I’ve-I’ve gotta be
a little bit more careful going this way. This way, I don’t get stuck. See right there? See how easy it is to get stuck? Uh, maybe if I get a little more speed. Uuh, come on, baby, climb. Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. All right, what’s next? What else you got for me? Oh, we have a winner. This is called Ball Fall 6. Okay. Aw, now [groans] that was my good arm. This is fine, I only need one
arm left in order to survive. Now, the balls are getting
smaller as time goes on. You can see. The inflammation, oh,
God, is wearing down. My head fell off. All right. Oh, I lost both of my arms. Oh, the balls move, huh. That’s good to know. You know what,
I’m gonna do this with no arms. Actually, I’m gonna do this with one arm. It’s just going to follow me. We’re friends. Never mind, we’re not friends anymore. Aw, I feel like Indiana
Jones’s head is very heavy. He seems to lose it a lot. Like, it just explodes randomly. Ah, my leg. Grab. Oh, piss, there we go. Perfect, got it. Okay, now I gotta make
sure to grab one of these. Well, I totally missed. How many balls are there? No joke, this is, like,
the longest ball fall I’ve ever seen. Damn it, there goes one of my arms. I didn’t even get to the medium balls yet. Ah, there goes the other arm. Okay, I’ve gotta- I’ve gotta save my arms. Oh, God, no. [laughs] Actually-- duh. I was gonna say, if I can get
rid of my legs, they weigh a lot, so I would lose a bunch of weight. See? Grab. Yeah,
you need patience to beat this board. There we are. I’m dead. Oh, no, I’m still alive. All right, now drop. Ready? Drop, grab, perfect. Drop, grab, yes, uh-huh. Watch, drop, I’ll pass. Oh, no, I was bad. I thought I was gonna lose my brain. That happens a lot. Dro-drop, grab, grab. Oh, yeah, here we go. and no, there’s another level. The balls are so small. [laughs] I’m-I’m like- I’m like
a-a fantastic gymnast. Okay, okay, all right, oh, oh God. Oh, boy. Oh, no. Um, right there. No, how could you do this to me? That was almost as painful as when I found
out that Spiderman wasn’t real. Well, I got rid of one leg. Okay, got rid of the other leg. Ah, we’re doing it. Oh, yeah, there we are. Perfect. Hell, yes. See, I’m getting the pattern now. Look at this. and by, "Look at this," I mean, my head fell off again. I’m all the way at the bottom. I have to-- Oh, my God,
come on, come on, come on. Yes, I’m three-quarters of the man
I used to be, but I made it. This is called Gray’s Death Fall. I hear a lot of pain in the background. Let’s go this way. Background is green. Uh, oh, my God, what the hell? Uh, oh, there’s a win there. Well, a win, that’s kind of subjective. Come on, lean forward a little bit more. Ah, damn it. So,
getting this win is actually kind of hard. Um, all right, so go this way,
there, and then come on. There we go. Oh, yeah, now we’re gonna monkey bar this. Watch. Yeets. [groans] Hmm, I’m not really sure how I want to try and outsmart this because
it looks very difficult. Whoop, I need to lose like an arm or something. Okay, I almost got my arm gone
but still hanging on by a thread. Damn it, there we go. Okay. Now, hopefully, all of the- all
of the things will hit my single arm. There we go. Oh, what the holy hell? Ah, my legs. I’ve lost all of my body parts. This is so unbelievably bad. I-- There has to be a way. I kind of wonder if I can use my-- Ah,
what? After getting that, I legitimately don’t know
what you could do to me that’s harder. Wait, did I-- What the hell? Did I beat the death fa-- did
I cheat the whole death fall? There’s no other ending? I did. I managed to cheat the death fall. Hell yes. This is ca-- Oh, what the hell? This is called Subway Surfers. You have to run. I have no idea what is going on. Go. There we go. Oh, hell yes. Go, go, go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go, go, go. What the hell is this thing? Go, go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go, go, go. Don’t touch me. Yes. I didn’t win? That time, I won. This is called Hobos Urban Travel. No easter egg. You’re a liar. There’s always easter eggs, except today. All right, guess there’s no easter egg. See if we got down here. Oh, oh, my God. Rocket. Uh-huh, how about that crap. What the holy hell? I’m-I’m-I’m-I’m alive. I did it. How? Can I move this? There we go. All right, there we are. Follow this down the rope-- the ramp here. What the hell? I-I-I land. [screams] Please don’t. Please don’t. I just wanna win. I don’t think I could do
all that again a second time. I-- Oh, wow. You know what? Wow, gotta dodge the blades. Hell yes. Oh, yeah. How long do I have to dodge? Never mind. I’m still alive. This is called Impossible. That’s-that’s literally it. There’s no other explanation to it. Welcome to hell, you’re doomed. [chuckles] Great. There is still a tiny
percent chance to win. Difficulty unfair. What’s down here? Like something here. Oh, is that a- is that a rope swing? Hold on. It looks like a rope swing down here. And whoop, crap, I’m dead. Freaking pogo stick. Oh, God. [groans] My pogo stick has ripped my legs off. Why have you betrayed me, pogo stick? 1,000,000%. Oh, Jesus. Aw, how-how many different
things do I have to swing from? I can do this. I need to stop losing my legs. I mean, they’re really not
doing anything for me, but still. Actually, hold on. Wow, this is pretty unfair. All right, ready. We’re doing this. I don’t care what it takes. Go, uh, hell. Oh, my God, yes. Yes, I love 1,000,000% impossible epic flip. I’m the best. Oh, no. Since I have gotten one of the wins,
I must get the other one. I don’t care. Oh, God. Oh, no. How impossible you say this board is. There has to be a way. Okay, this is it. This is the final instance. I can win this. Drop. Yes, 99 bazillion percent possible. That I’m definitely saving. This is called Rick and Morty shots. So can you-- How do you-- Oh, the hell. Oh, does it do anything? Oh, what the hell? What kind of gun is this? All right, aim it a little down. Boop, Jesus. Watch out. Um, uh, oh, we got a second one. Any other players? Anyone? Hold on,
there’s still part of a-- There we go. Hey, can you-- I was hoping I could
move the gun all the way around. Oh, click the button to win. Thank you, Pickle rrrriiiiccckkk. Yay. Well, I found Rick and Morty,
and I was met with nothing but violence. Anyway, folks,
I hope it was episode of Happy Wheels. Till next time, stay foxy. Much love.
