All right. We're checking out the only game where the best way
to get ahead in life is to lie. It's Papers Grade Please. This game made its rounds on YouTube, but now there's all-new
answers and questions in it. I've been told they are stupider
than the last time. I fail to see how that's possible but we're already starting
off with some felonies. When do you pay taxes? When you get caught. Once again, we will go
through the lives of all of our various students as they answer
things completely correctly. I failed to see how that was
the incorrect answer. I also noticed, too, how come
my pen instantaneously changed color? Was it just because I went from the A-plus? How come's know the grades, too? Write an example of a risk. This. I wish I could go back to high school just so that I could use
all these answers in real time. Yes, my son,
you may have an A-plus as well. Where was the declaration
of independence signed? At the bottom. Like you know, when's the last time you've seen
a declaration of independence? Well, with, uh,
Nicolas Cage in National Treasure. [chuckles] I just noticed, too that none
of the students actually look at me. Their dead eyes simply stare
past me into the distance. What do you want to be when you grow up,
little Joey? He's like, "Like a politician." Then your answer's perfect. Watch out. Oh, his name was Josh. I was so close. I love how I can get every single
answer wrong and I still get a C. Like this is passing. It's not even a C-minus. You know what this button right here is? This is the watch an ad about Booby
Girls and get three times the money. [chuckles] No, thanks. The name of my school is Hyper High School. I'm not going to lie. If this game didn't force
me to upgrade the school, I wouldn't upgrade
it because this is magical. I love how some kids get a swing set. Our kids get a cement mixer to play. [laughs] To be fair,
this would actually be an awesome toy. All right, we'll upgrade the school. Great. Now the letters are actually
facing the right direction. That makes me sad. Meet the class, everyone. I like how people are either
waving or having a seizure. Did that child just smash
his skull on the desk? Yeah, right there. Did you see it? They're like if we give
ourselves brain damage, maybe we can go to the ne-- What are you doing? No standing on the desk like Columbus. No, stop it. Don't take after him. All right, listed kids, I gotta make
another $100 so we can get a plant. The first cells were probably sad. I love it. Oh, they didn't have any cell friends. I don't think a single person
has had a real answer yet. These new answers are fantastic. Actually, I don't remember your name. I don't actually remember
any of your names. I'm a fantastic teacher, but I will say that I'm giving
you an F here because the first cells were actually happy 'cause
they didn't have to hear the nagging from their cell friends. Awesome. Draw a picture
of what you'll look like in 100 years. What Kind of question is this? [laughs] What high school student thinks they're going to live
to be 118 or 116 years old? When I was this kid's age, I was like lucky to think
I was going to make it past 30. I think the real trick here is,
is his name actually Warren? I love the depressed flower
that he got next to his tombstone. This has to be the right answer, right? Like, e-even if I think
about this from a sarcastic point of view, this is true. Come on. What? Describe school in one word? Trash. [laughs] Uh, this actually makes
me sad because school is what pays my bills
right now I'm the teacher. To be fair though,
you can't actually even open the window in this classroom
without possibly severing your arm. So I mean, she's not wrong. So Elijah,
I actually said got the right answer. Why is he so depressed? He's like, man,
I wanted to be a failure, too. How come I still got a C? I got one right. I did like 33% better than the last time. I want to get two right so I see
what the letter grade I get then is. Oh, I think we have enough for,
uh, oh next class. What's the next class? I was going to say,
I think we have enough for a plant. Finally. [giggles] Name a solid. Poop. Name a liquid. Poop. Name a gas. Thank you for drawing it for me. Remember how I said I would give
two people the right answer. I mean, I-I'm not giving this an F. First off, that's a fantastic poop
picture and I mean, she is right. If Bob sells you an apple for $2
today and one apple for $3 tomorrow, that's called greed. What is the right, inflation? I don't know what the right answer
technically would be. I mean, she's right. It is greed. If I give her an F-- How I don't even know
what the right answer would be. Name something smaller than an atom. My self-esteem. I love how proud he is of this answer, too. I don't even have to do anything. The children have already been beaten. Down by society so viciously. By the time they got to my classroom,
my job is half done. The sad part is-is
that if I give him an F, right, technically I'm saying,
"Hey, it's this is the wrong answer. It's not your self-esteem," but I'm at the same time giving him an F, so it is technically
crushing his self-esteem. Ah, let's do it [laughs]. Okay, I got a B now. Josh was never seen at school again. I still don't understand
why-why getting the right answer always ends in like crippling depression. All right, the time has come. What do we-what do we got
here for the upgrades? And we can get our plants. Here's some planets. I could get this computer eventually,
but from what I've seen, none of your kids
would know how to turn it on. Are you duplicates? Actually, are there two sets
of duplicates in my classroom? What are they just cloning you kids? Oh, look at this. We can upgrade the floor,
upgrade the ceiling. $300 for a ceiling upgrade? I want to keep the windows broken. All right, well, I promised
you kids a plant, so there you go. It's in the back of the room, though. None of you are allowed
to look directly at that plant. Stop standing on the desks. Well, kids, welcome back to school. Is everyone ready to learn? Describe what is meant by forgetting? I can't remember. Clearly not. This is actually the first paper
I'm grading today, this new school day. I already have the red marker out. All right, here's what we're doing, everyone who's wearing
green today gets to pass. It looks like that's a grand total
of one of you. Well, and the plant. The plant always gets to pass. Fail. Describe your future. Pain. Oh, wow. Okay, I had really
good expectations for green shirt girl. She fulfilled every expectation I have. Also, what is this blue thing
like right over here? What is that? Like a yoga mat? Talk, ask anyone. This is the future. You get an A. Name the indicated body part? Hand. Wait, is this-is this a real question? Did you actually answer this correctly? I'm pretty sure this is a right answer. That's the first time
this has ever happened. I'm actually
kind of concerned because this means that I'm doing my job. We need to stop that, failure. My test was correct. I'll sue you. Go to detention. Oh, god, look at the face. So you have depressed psychotic and this-- It just looks like his facial expression
turned into Snack Pack puddings. He's just slowly melting away. I feel like I'm supposed to spend
some money to upgrade to school but I don't want to give the kids
a better learning experience. What is this supposed to be? Like I can't even tell. Obviously,
we have m-maybe a basketball area. It looks like a sand-like a sand lot. What is this? It's like a-- Is this like a mini-golf? Just a bunch of benches and grass. Let's see what it turns into. Oh, it's the cafeteria. [laughs] I love it. The kids were just eating
in the middle of nowhere. [laughs] All right everyone, geography time. [laughs] Florida, I'm so glad that Florida
made it into the game. That is correct, young lady. This is Florida, this is flo-- Actually, all this is Florida,
the entire globe. Well done. All right, how about you? You're gonna say Florida as well? Atlantis? Atlantis isn't real. This girl's prior like,
"Neither is Florida." You shut your mouth. All right. Little Tom, what do you got for me? Canada? Oh, you actually got it right. I think I am going to give this an A. The reason why is because Florida
ends with a and Canada ends with A. See,
so all the A's come together in the end. Florida and Canada
have a lot in common actually. Down here,
our favorite food group is Bud Light and their favorite food group is apologies. Draw a flower. This is the second time now that someone has actually done the-their homework. I feel kind of bad, giving this an A. You could have drawn anything and you drew the most generic
Google flower in the-- You know what? Get out of here. I love how he's gonna sue me for $30. That's like two Starbucks drinks. Get out of here. Oh yes, draw a cloud. My dog ate the drawing. Is your dog is still alive? You get an A. Make a line that connects the two dots. Oh, wait,
is the-is the eye supposed to be the dots and the smiley face is the line? That's actually pretty crafty. Complete the word. Bird. That's a fantastic drawing of a bird. Look how worried this kid looks. He's like the last class that got
their papers graded didn't come back. All right, all right, you can have an A. Find a word. Cat. Okay, all right. Yeah, we're doing good, we're doing good. How about you? Complete the phrase with a fitting verb. Ah, none of this is correct. I like how he decided
to go off the deep end. It's a unicorn farting stars and rainbow. That said,
this is actually a well-drawn unicorn. I'm gonna give you an A. All right, day number,
whatever this is at Hyper High School. The laws of thermodynamics state
that in order to heat up any object, you must rub it really hard. I love how at the end
of this line is the plant, just kind of looming
over this girl's shoulder. Ooh, this answer. [laughs] Okay, okay. Ah, we're gonna go. We got a C and B, I'm gonna go for an A,
I really wanna give you an A+ on this, because you're kind of right. But also I don't wanna hear about your dirty fantasies in my classroom. Jimmy practices piano
for 10 minutes every day. That means Jimmy is a nerd. This is the most open-ended question. Jimmy isn't even a pianist,
because 10 minutes takes me longer than 10 minutes just
to wake up in the morning. Like 10 minutes is nothing,
like what's the right answer, diligent? All right,
I'm just gonna assume this is wrong. What comes after 10? A question mark. Young lady, I don't know your name. You probably don't even
deserve to have one, but this is the best answer
I have ever seen in this school. I would promote you immediately
to class representative. You can do anything you want in this world, except apparently if you have five
fingers, like a normal human. I love how all they've given
you is this flesh glove, but I still have to fail you mostly
because I want three right answers. Oh, yes, the depression trio. It's like a value meal at McDonald's. I love that how if you get
it all right you get an A-plus, like everything else is just
kinda average, just like C or B. But ruining three children's lives
at once gets you that extra plus. I got like a $20 bonus. All right who here likes the alphabet? Probably none of you,
but you're gonna get it anyway. I love that everything
that the children could potentially enjoy is out of their line of sight. It's always at the back of the classroom. Will Beth sell her hens? Write why or why not. Why? I really wish there was
some kind of backstory to this. Why is Beth selling
her hens in the first place? I feel like the problem isn't
that my children are dumb. The problem is that these questions
don't make any sense. I also have to mention
how good of a teacher I am. My disciplinary skills are top-notch. If you notice all of my kids
blink in unison. Here, watch. Now. See that? Right, I'll do it again. Now. Boom, right there. See it? I love how the kid all the way
in the back is like a chameleon. If you notice he blends
in perfectly with the plant, he's learned how to change his colors. See, his hair and his pants
are both plant-colored. The girl's halfway there,
my XP streak had to go away somewhere. What is the best estimate
for the length of a football? One football. These answers are so good that I don't know if my kids are geniuses or morons. They're like right on the cusp. Like they're on the floor of being so dumb that they blast
through the crust of dumbness and land at the top of brilliance. I mean, she's right. Like not only is this answer right,
but the entire-- Like this is right. One foot is probably
the closest estimate for a football. Ah, log10 X. Explain how you'd find X using math. Your new name is Arbys
because I love their curly fries. I'm also going to give you an A-plus
not because this is a good answer, but because you are very similar
to the plant and I actually like the plant. In fact, I would say the best student
in my entire classroom is this plant. So I'm going to give you an A-plus but I'm going to look
at the plant while I do it. The time has come. For an upgrade. I love how even
our basketball court is drunk. Anyway, folks hope you enjoyed
this episode of Grade Papers Please. Till the next time, stay Foxy, much love.
