FUNNIEST TEXTS EVER

yes wally please i'm just trying to have a conversation with you and you're pushing me away like something that pushes things away like a minecraft piston i'm sorry hey what's up cuties my name is fainted and today we're gonna be taking a look at some funny text messages subscribe right now or i will throw this block of minecraft dirt at your forehead bruh message from mom it's a beautiful day wish you were here just look at this view mom your finger is covering the lens oops can you see it now you can't just send the same picture you have to take another one how about it now [Music] yeah looks great mom nice view there yo you did the homework right dude stop texting my girl we're doing stuff um dude i'm trying to graduate this guy's really like ah can't believe this dude's texting my girl again she's mine let me flex on him real quick meanwhile this guy actually probably couldn't care less and he's just trying to graduate from school okay hi crush um i have bf i have two lamborghini avendor and one bugatti super sport and one private jet bf equals breakfast where did you get that in grand theft auto 5 freak you you can't reply to this conversation such a shame such a shame if anyone ever starts off a text conversation with me by saying hi crush yeah i'd block them too you said my baby was ugly no i said she'd look like you ah okay you ugly though honey my stomach is getting bigger i think i'm pregnant yeah and i know who the daddies are who mcdonald's dominus subway kfc ouch bruh i'll know what's happened here babe i broke my foot that's a nice michael course bag tell that she can have you um that's my mom's bye there's some definite trust issues going on in that relationship dude guy breaks his foot looking for some sympathy from his girlfriend and all he gets is you've been cheating on me again johnny okay hi this is randy i saw your peepee for sale on craigslist is it still available if so i would like to come to take it for a test drive tonight sometime hi randy i'm selling a prius is that what you meant yes apologies new phone well it's craigslist you never know hey babe want to play the pick the lie game sure two truths and one lie right yep here we go one i hate bacon two i'm pregnant and you're the dad three you're telling my parents about this um i'm guessing two is the lie nope the lies one have fun telling my parents babe what how can you hate bacon i can sense a breakup coming that's enough to put any relationship in a dustbin message from dad son i keep hearing baby baby baby oh from your room are you listening to justin bieber no dad i'm watching bruh oh thank goodness well don't do jb like that jb be dropping some fire tunes bro i honestly think that baby song's class no one can deny that justin bieber baby is uh an iconic song hey your kid's wagon is in my yard again ah come on i'm looking at it right now it's like three inches over the property line that makes it my yard so what what is it with you three inches is three inches yeah that must be what laurie told you when she filed for divorce oh call me baby oh my baby call me sweetheart oh my sweetheart ugh call me honey oh my honey baby idiot i'm asking you to call me i have no balance bit rude mate when two cereal eaters get together this is the result message from my girl i'm fat no you're not i just ate two mcdonald's hamburgers i just ate seven cookies you have cookies the back door is open wow i'm sorry but i'm gonna say it that is cringe what like oh yeah baby i got cookies you love mcdonald's we're so so good together oh yeah send me a pic oh my gosh what the frick is that grand theft auto no it just looks bad because i have android oh word you thick as heck hello i don't know what's worse the amount of disrespect android's getting right here or the fact that this guy believed it like look at the textures there bro i'm sorry but even a flip phone would be getting better quality than that surely message from gf my pokemon brings all the nurse to the yard and they're like you wanna trade cards damn right i wanna trade cards give me pikachu with electric charge marry me you know this is the first time out of these relationship texts i've seen people i think yeah that's actually cute i like this please do get married have kids and then dress them up in little pokemon onesies that'd be cute i totally failed safety and health course today how did you manage that well one of the questions was in the event of a fire what steps would you take and freaking large ones was apparently the wrong answer i think that's a pretty good step to take in the event of a fire bro just like get out if you guess the animal rights you become my gf and this is the animal guys try and guess try and guess okay three two one a horse yes you are now his gf enjoy very interesting looking horse but i guess that's the whole thing bro this dude just photoshops it to whatever he wants it to be and can guarantee that this girl's gonna be his gf well done mate oh he scream but he also eat a trash eric i was your high school math teacher not your friend please stop sending me messages okay what's 8 plus 12 i got a new kadabra plushie can i see here it is whoa um that's an alakazam well it was a cadabra when i sent it to you he evolved guess what uh what no you have to guess i don't know grandma in the hospital why would you make me guess that what happened message to landlord oh no no no no there's a family of rats living in my bathroom no pet allowed in building also rent a stew classic landlords bro although i do think some people actually do have rats as pets these days very cool message to dad i want to punch her in the eye with a rusty fork uh well this is awkward i didn't mean to text that to you hi dad hello hi katie don't forget to wear gloves keeps the fingerprints off of the fork even if it is a rusty one my favorite part of this is how you don't even question who it is the less i know the less i can say during the interrogation dad of the year award goes to me because your girlfriend calls me daddy oh rose dead i'm so cool uh wondering where to go give him this oh there you go the strawberry little guy smiley face he loves it oh your phone died yes i'm gonna call you back when it's on makes a lot of sense how do vaccines work simply explain please imagine there's a bully in town who wants to kick your booty you find his picture online and show it to all your buddies so they know how he looks like when the day comes and you see the bully on the street you phone your buddies they come recognize him and beat the heck out of him bravo that really was simply explained baby yoda my god he's so freaking cute i underestimated how stupid i would feel picking up a baby yoda you look epic don't worry message from mom when will you be home well mom there's a problem not to me though but the car what happened the car got fricked someone hit the car and run away so this time that's not my fault you have to tell dad it's not my fault mom just come home jody no mom i think i'm fine i'll stay with my friends and safe your dad said it's okay and now come home that's what you said last time so now fam i'm good oh dear legend has it he never returned home me too what a fun night it was thank you for hosting i'll host you anytime oh i'll have to take you up on that oh please do you're an outstanding guest i tried to tip well wow well done i couldn't even come back with anything because that was so perfect yes did the driver respect your contact free delivery preference yes or no yes rate your overall experience from five excellent to one poor tell us your thoughts on this restaurant five it was nice thanks we appreciate your help signing off grubhub no don't leave me when grubhub is the only person that texts you [Music] i'm pooping i'm a girl i don't poop what is this really true when she is mad are you still mad at me twinkle twinkle little star how i wonder what you are wish i could hit you with my car okay you're still mad le comedy i'll use text speech like when you have wisdom teeth are you roasting me are you toothless yeah well congratulations how do you communicate help please no you talk can't talk ghosts and mouthy blinking morse code no i can feel my chin but how to do text speech if you had to choose would you rather lose an arm or a leg a leg need both arms to snowmobile a co-worker just said he needs both arms to hug his wife so thanks baba boy sounds like he's never been snowmobiling loser is this alice who is this it's paul paul from the club last night sorry i have a boyfriend but i have your purse omfg i've been looking around for like ever thank you could you get it to me please but i also have a girlfriend so so bye hey bro results are out let's go and check it out i'm with dad you please see mine and text me okay bro listen if i fail in one subject send me good morning to you if two subjects then send good morning to you and your dad good morning to you and your family and your neighbors also oh hi crush i have bf i'm rich bf equals breakfast my name is rich get out of here hi mom hi sweetheart my boyfriend has dandruff what can i do about it give him head and shoulder how do i give shoulder omg mom are you okay mom i think my number neighbor tops everyone else what's up number neighbor excuse me but who is this i'm your phone number neighbor we have the same number but one digit off well hello number neighbor but this is former president barack obama and i would appreciate it if you stopped texting me have a good day here you go believe me now obama very cool very cool i'm from california and you i'm in ri pleasure what's ri rhode island nice have you been to usa before next up we're on amazon prime and we got a message from abigail at customer service good day i'm abigail am i chatting with bubba boy yeah the amazon app says the package was handed to a receptionist i don't have a receptionist i just live in a house lol hello great help there from abigail at customer service i hope i'm not going to get sued here but it really does just sum up amazon prime services bro the amount of times i buy for next day delivery and it arrives in 54 days and i'm like what i'm just kidding okay jeff bezos please please don't execute me a squirrel just fell on me man it just probably isn't your day if a squirrel ends up falling on you and damaging your face oh that's wild message from brother pick me up i'm drunk okay send me your location i love that song my grandma is still figuring out her first iphone and this did get some message from their grandpa saying how do you make tuna salad what whereby tuna salad grandma this isn't google this is texting mayonnaise you'll get there you'll get there darling oh it's cause she's using her iphone bro if she was on android there wouldn't be any problems here i literally only said that star war in the comments on what's better between iphone or android hey sexy hi you're sexy what about my sexy it left went home ever since you decided to be a little bro i know the difference between your and your this is freaking grinder not spelling bee central yep you can just tell this guy's a a star literature student he really can tell the difference between your and um you're yeah very legit what's wrong i want to kill myself don't you mean myself ah oh my boy don't do it here we have the mice elf subscribe right now or this guy's gonna murder myself no transcript according to all known laws of aviation there is no way a bee should be able to fly its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground the bee of course flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is possible yellow black yellow black yellow black yellow black ooh black and yellow barry breakfast is ready hang on a second hello barry adam can you believe this is happening i'll pick you up looking sharp use the stairs your father paid good money for those sorry i'm excited here's the graduate we're very proud of you son a perfect report card all bees very proud ma i got a no yes not the b movie then what movie why does there have to be any movie hey so i'm kind of into you just thought you should know okay can you hold on a sec yeah for what my best friend's not answering uh what's that have to do with this though that's gotta tell me what the frick i'm supposed to say uh daddy i got suspended what the heck what did you do well my xbf was being a douchebag so i told him off and he said sticks and stones may break my bones but words could never hurt me so i grabbed a dictionary fruit at his face and screamed how's that for words hurting you bro then ran away ah you are totally my daughter i'll be right there like father like daughter hey i don't think he's setting a very good example here bro throwing a dictionary at someone's face that's that's too much it's savagery i mean if you're gonna throw a book at someone's head at least have the respect to throw ninja's guide to getting good at gaming book that'd be much nicer you're my world uh it's your i planned on giving you the e later the e delete my number before i call your mom again no what will you gain from it this really is like something you'd see on tumblr in 2008 you're my world baby anyways guys hope you enjoyed the video and if you did subscribe to the channel and click on the screen to check out the series playlist anyways i'll see you all in the next one much love peace

Channel: Fainted

Views: 1,261,105

Keywords: funny text messages, funniest text messages, funny, texts, chats, messages, text messages, funny texts, funniest texts, funny chats, text fails, best texts, fails, memes, fainted, funniest texts ever

Id: yaW6rxf_Vks

Length: 15min 48sec (948 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 29 2021