Everything Wrong With Ready Player One

I know 30 seconds of logos isn't terribly long but there are so many of these curse packed in that I can't help but sin it I'm not sure what looks more fake the Oasis or this / CGI'd Shack stack ma'am I haven't seen product placement this obvious in a movie since some asshole heavily featured Reese's Pieces in some movie I can't remember I don't doubt that the Oasis gives you a chance to be a pole dancer if you like or whatever this is I just doubt many people engaging in this activity would leave their curtains open I was born in 2027 after giving us a pretty fun unbroken shot movie serves up a heaping helping of narration can climb Mount Everest with Batman yeah but I would want to climb Mount Everest as Batman it wants to climb a mountain with Batman that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard also them I guess for the other choices of climbing partner are Bugs Bunny Harry Potter neo Godzilla Richard Kimble in addition to other WB stars check out this place it's a casino the size of a planet and if there's a section of the movie set there that involves a brief incarceration a random meeting with a morally ambiguous code breaker and an animal escape you can expect a fan revolt okay so here's a line to go through some portal but they're in a virtual world so why is there a line at all I can see that there are multiple portals but why aren't there more stacked and an so that lions are no longer I think I know this is a simulation you know but what the but Freddy Krueger be doing on a planet full of people blasting giant scorpions and Freddy's out of his depth on this planet and he's not even in a dream Jerry is one if wait is reading the description of the artifact why didn't he read it like it's actually written he really needed to convert the time units for the sake of exposition all your money um how is this guy playing the game sitting at a restaurant everyone we've seen so far has been standing up running and jumping around their real space but this dude can just sit when he plays this would be an orgy of evidence that this is a little girl's room except for the fact that I don't think it's an orgy of evidence that it's this little girl's room she putting on a front for her parents yeah like Donkey Kong jr. plush toys and a plethora girly but what I really like to do is pull noobs on Planet doom the most dangerous place in the Oasis and okay look there's Jason another guy who shouldn't be too tough to kill on this planet they should have called Planet doom Warner Brothers Park apparently this company allows their employees to go to the Oasis while on the clock don't ask me how this dude was playing at his desk and not causing a scene before he died and that's what he gets for playing as Jason Voorhees if you want to reach under your seats you'll find that there's nothing there dick if you're watching this I'm dead if you're watching this I'm dead cliche I create into three hidden keys to three magic games damn holidays character when from Garth Algar to Geoffrey Rush in seconds flat no one has even gotten one key some long-forgotten Gunter cracked the first clue and found the first challenge though I spent time telling you how that guy act the first clue when we can take you straight to the first challenge filled with even more pop-culture references I mean what fun is it to use your brain to solve puzzles and be an active participant when watching a movie zero thought I said also the first guy I didn't get any points for finding the first portal well toughing gaining the only ones still trying are the Gunter's as in egg hunters oh and of course the Sixers that's because you gotta trust the process and just following the orders at the head of I oh I this dickweed named Nolan Sorento this is where the story has an immediate flaw in my eyes while I truly believe evil corporations would be doing something like this the real antagonist should be the scavenger hunt itself Wade versus everybody else adding an evil villain into this mix takes away from the funk also at this point I think Ben Mendelsohn's played a bad guy in a big-budget movie as many times as Bruce Greenwoods been the president I've got a question about this DeLorean aside from the obvious look at that it's the DeLorean way it makes an appearance when you're in the Oasis does every car have the same speed capabilities are they confined to the vehicles real-world capabilities if so a DeLorean can only go from zero to 60 in roughly eight seconds and at a top speed of 110 miles an hour which I imagine sucks in a race like this the last time we saw these assholes a few seconds ago Artemis was way the hell ahead of weight but now they're neck and neck girl I think it's Artemis so during this crazy-ass race with killer obstacles I figured I'd give you more exposition about her rather than waiting until it's over watching this race I guess thank God that nobody other than a select group of believers still try to do this can you imagine sticking another thousand or so people in this thing also this whole race seems to be against the spirit of what holiday represents why would you need to enter this race at scheduled times against tons of opponents it's a virtual world so why can't you just do this any time you want against the AI and if you manage to win the race then you open the door for others to copy you and get past the first challenge by doing no work whatsoever if Possible's DeLorean has the no roads option why the hell isn't he flying all over this hey guys on Last Action Hero reference for the wimp this ten-second t-rex scene is somehow better than both Jurassic world and its sequel [Music] it Kong seriously just peace out after destroying the road you can see them right here right what if they found another way around Wade's car isn't even damaged sad to say this is the most successful movie that the Iron Giant has ever been in favorite restaurant was Chuckie Cheese I know holiday was a nerd but no person on this earth would put Chuckie Cheese down as their favorite restaurant outside of someone who was five I stopped because of Kong no one ever makes it past Kong that's like a rule if possible knows this then why was he so confident when he got close to the finish line he knew Kong was hot on this trip I need every edge I can get every push punch gunshot you feel it all how does feeling pushes punches and gunshots give you an edge and from what we've seen gunshots just kill you immediately so what good is that Jesus how many retro bags of Doritos does this family need one on the fridge one on the coffee table wait this is the virtual reality or is it reality reality because if it's the latter Wade's a superhuman who can take a direct punch to the face without any physical damage to him or his glasses how will you eat up my valuable such time today isn't providing information to Gunter's the curators only job and it's not like there's anybody else here so why isn't he ecstatic the parcel is here to use it some things you're perfect just the way they are asteroids people don't live inside an asteroids arcade cabinet the scene is a perfect example of how easy it is for British actors to do a believable American accent and because that's not fair I'm sending these all right Micah gates I can't go backwards for watch backwards really fast fast as we can this is the clue it's one of the most forward over pieces of video in the holiday journals and yet nobody figured it out for five years remember a whole bunch of assholes have tried that race over and over knowing King Kong is impossible to get past and yet nobody thought this go backwards thing was important also it's AI Butler guy was told we're finished but kept playing the video long after and yeah I know he's actually simon Pegg's avatar but how many times has he seen people not get this clue there's nothing special about wait lots yet anyway back again so soon you know considering she's a well known Gunther it's extremely weird that parsable is never seen Artemis until the last race and now she's apparently had all of them Wow wait isn't nearly this close to Artemis oh come on newbie got the DeLorean the triumphant moment you've even got Alan and Sylvester doing your school you can't put in some actual Back to the Future music I was just wondering what that does the scoreboard matter if the goal is to find the keys and solve holiday scavenger hunt the points hardly matter we estimate we can sell up to 80 percent of an individual's visual field before inducing seizures does a company need with eighty percent advertisements if they win the contest and own the Oasis which is worth half a goddamn trillion dollars and is a money printing machine yeah greed and whatnot but you'd lose probably half the people who go to the Oasis hope that coca-cola revenue is enough to make up for it also it's funny how IO is considered an evil corporation while Halliday and Mauro or considered Saints even though everything in the Oasis cost money and they set up a system where it's difficult to compete with richer players whoa smack you did some Equis pull a Biff and go back in time to steal the Rubik's Cube for this design x1 have two possible shopping in the Oasis so when you buy something that can only be used in the Oasis like the Holy Hand Grenade that makes sense but you can buy something in the Oasis that you can use in the real world right there are drug dealers here that you can pay and fake money and they make actual deliveries because that's the movie I want to see oh yeah orgasm boxing this haphazard password storage is going to be a huge plot point later but why does he even need the password this think-think scans his face when he sits down discount Thanos there's only three things in this world I hate steampunk pirates and tabbouleh this character is as unnecessary in this movie as TJ Miller is unnecessary as a comedian he totally totaled his car but then show got it - how did he total his car the track that you drive on has absolutely no obstacles I'm not wearing that Artemus just made a huge big deal about parsable not being able to walk around without a disguise but why is she not wearing one anymore she was the second player to get the key and she was a previously famous blogger so why isn't she getting mobbed - Halliday went on a date with Ogden tomorrow's wife just once years before they were even marry how does she not know this isn't she just as obsessed with these journals as he is and she missed this the name Kiera is only mentioned once in all of holidays journals that's not possible and the curator character is the most annoying thing about this movie he's a goddamn machine he's also ogden maro and his sole purpose is to search the archives searching for one word that should take less than off think second can you drink things in the Oasis why are there empty cans of coke and tab in this virtual den and I see a hint of Pepsi you got two huge competitors to share time in the same movie how much did Coke pay to turn that Pepsi around oh why it's not changing your identity out in the alesis a thing anymore like this movie blew its wad on a Goro alien reference for Artemus and gave him a Clark Kent disguise and the motherfucker hasn't used it's it's I mean even Artemus didn't remind him to use it again and this is gonna be a big deal for the plot [Applause] [Music] wait does he have control over everybody's experience at this dance club like I'm grooving to fucking Daft Punk and some asshole can change it to the Bee Gees seriously no place you can go in this virtual world that isn't safe holiday actually built this dance hall and he didn't put any rules about shooting people here you always got to be on guard did you know what I said I set him in love with you tease man the power of boners will make you forget that you're getting shot at you could lose all your I guess Andy's ioi agents definitely studied Star Wars especially the excellent stormtrooper Reem they both survived this Zemeckis cube turns everything back in time 60 seconds I guess it's got the same Marty McFly logic to where he didn't give himself enough time to change anything also why doesn't the cube turn back time for him anonymous do you really think that anyone's gonna give a damn about an explosion in some ghetto trash rat Vaughn in Columbus our villain who I will reiterate is the worst thing about this story tells Wade there's an explosion coming a full minute before it explodes giving him ample time even if he were in the trailer Sorrento thinks he's in to get out before blows don't do this I'm not even there I'm for long I know he's all horned up for a murdering but why wouldn't Sorento at least check to see if Wade's telling the truth here all he knows is that no one's seen Wade for three days he doesn't think that's the least bit suspicious I don't want to hear your voice ever again oh no way it's terrible and her asshole boyfriend got blown up I wish I cared but this explosion leaves me empty vaguely glad it happened wow this thing blew up in top of the stacks in a perfect way so that Wade would have to implement the teachings of the Prometheus school of running away from things I oh I came for me in the real world are you kidding me this enormous henchman was able to hide behind this puny desk chair a real name is Samantha but yeah I'm Artemis I thought they'd set up way to be in love with Artemis and he says I'd love you even if you're hideous but then she turned out to be ridiculously hot so he never has to test that hypothesis I'm living this close to each other at all time yeah it's a pretty big enormous coincidence right like I know is the new hotness and all but the on to the two most successful Gunter's living within a couple miles of each other is really stretching suspension of disbelief absolutely that my whole life you don't have to pretend this just rings plain false I could understand her not thinking she's attractive because of the large birthmark but I do not believe for one minute that people treat her all that differently this is like the mystique conundrum to me only it's sillier and it's not like there's a ton of birthmark fetishes out there who skew the results a place where the leaf wasn't taken where the date was at the movies wait when did everybody decide that they would be teaming up late and Samantha did all this on their own but then they just calling all the guys they think are trustworthy at the drop of a hat I don't the others do any research with them the shining eyetality is 11th favorite horror film Jesus Christ he ranked his favorite movies by genre past 10 he's clearly wrong by the way and it's based on the best-selling book by Stephen King who hated the movie yeah that doesn't mean he hated his creation it means he hated Stanley Kubrick's version of it that's a fudging of the clue ma'am okay so now my next question is how hasn't anyone stumbled across this before and discovered a weird playable version of The Shining yet I've never seen The Shining it's a really scary me moving H is a high level Gunther and parsable said this movie is one of Halliday's favorites so how the hell has H not seen it did H just get knocked around by The Shining Greatest Hits how is he getting pulled out of the freezer from the hedge maze what a bunch of bull Stanley Kubrick will likely come back to life after this and slap Steven Spielberg around and then wait another 15 years to make a new movie Howdy's greatest fear wasn't the shining or any book or movie his biggest fear was kissing a girl that's the leap you couldn't take I like how this is being shared as new information when that's exactly why they're here in the first place remember this he had a chance with Keira his chance to kiss her he didn't take delay so let's stop wasting time already none of this is in the shining the whole shining trivia is just a diversion rendering it utterly meaningless glad we could take a stroll down memory lane to watch some famous scenes of The Shining when all somebody had to do is look in the ballroom and find Kiera dancing I mean seriously outside of the figuring out the shining clue what's hard about completing this challenge Canada hands this is what the task is asking her to dance but they've been saying that the kiss was what was important yet this is the first thing Artemis tries probably because a lesbian lip lock would have made a few squares run out of the theater screaming one of our ologist saw them enter the media library she cracked the clue we just have to win the shining challenge do any of the good guys want to use the forum Clark Kent glasses that change their avatar just fucking once so they can't follow them around I mean goddamn mr. Sorrento I really think you need to see this I think you need to see this cliche now possible it's called the Jade key yeah but how are these other Sixers also in the game now if parsable just now want it's already been shown that everyone else in the house is kicked outside the movie theater once someone takes the lead well ain't got one of those van thingies I guess we'll stop at the pursuit here even though we have very useable guns probably a nearby vehicle and tell those drones to stop droning while you're not doing anything how did I oh I find that their challenge so fast I oh I cracked the first three lines the clue and the person who isn't driving answer this question keep your eyes on the road for Christ's sake also we never find out how the answer to the third location is solved it's a solution without proof forever and ever an Atari 2600 sir every game ever made for it thousands of possibilities even Custer's revenge also why didn't Halliday make it possible for multiple players with two keys to enter infinite duplicates of this world to attempt the challenge why is there a fucking line of people trying games the way the challenges are set up really short changes the possibilities of this world and it's like they forgot they can literally do anything and avoid bottlenecks like this how are there no Gunter's here already I know the high five or otherwise engaged but the words out on ioi finding the third clue and it's taken a while to get this orb up and running when is she wait please the pronoun game which I am sure Halliday was not a fan of so that Sorento has to figure out who the hell she is also these guys have hacked into Sorrento's rig making him think that he's in the real world including using avatars that look exactly like the real selves which reminds me again how many times these dicks didn't use disguises when they went egg honey Wow I thought the security was last when Dido and parsable did their sham break it but there's literally no security outside Sorrento's office door doesn't even lock why can't every single one of these avatars remain disguise during this operation why does he even need to pull off this disguise right now other than to tell us Mission Impossible style that's what he's doing and tip-off Sorento later even if you don't think your loyalty employees can see this hatch because of the helmets they wear why would you even install a hatch that can be open from the inside don't worry about the case sensitive nature of man only ponder the capabilities and the destructive power of man through the course of time really this rig has that kind of reflective surface wouldn't the reflection from here just be the back of the rig how is it perfectly capturing all of his captors from here there was a much cooler way to figure this out by looking at your eyes but let's just go with the impossible reflection sure what's poppin that sounds like a great inscription for our tombstones I guess Sorento would be excellent if not a little overdramatic at cinemasins sure samantha has the password but didn't this rig scan Sorrento's face earlier I guess it forgot some have lost if free souls lost their lives damn movie title ain't dead - in this version so what's up with the hard for shadowing also the books don't matter and now this a force field around the 3rd challenge I blame how it it why the would you make it possible for someone to use a magical item around the challenge at all this is a world he created and easily could have restricted use of any items that made the unfair Samantha has one goddamn job here and then she can leave I'm sure this is a captivating speech and all but she's got the spell so get the fuck out of there already activate iron giant earlier we saw H on planet doom trying to win an artifact that turned her into a giant robot for 2 minutes but why did she even try to enter that deathmatch when she was building a fully functional iron giant are you willing to zero out for the Oasis are you willing to fight god damn another young adult adaptation that creates this awesome world ends up distracted by revolution ready player one could have been the tits y'all I don't have time to explain how this ioi extracts maximum fun from this movie but it just does so is this movie saying any asshole can strap into one of these suits and just enter the oasis without a password I know these Sixers are supposedly mindless worker bees but not even a one two three four five password well I watch this crazy battle unfold I'm wondering what the fuck are they shooting at there is no army coming at them yet and there's no more shield and the only thing they can do now is destroy Halliday's fortress that contains the third key so what's the plan these two giant armies clash with one another battles have actually become boring over the years a whole buncha who gives it and who the cares lost in an Eyes Wide Shut orgy of CGI paint a Twisted Sister and it's weird they're at least two Pacific Rim sequels in the same year I don't even understand how this is possible holiday actually allowed in his simulation for you to stick charges into the fridge and blow it up if this place plays like the deathmatch arena it is then the environment itself shouldn't be damaged considering how much wear and tear it would undergo every time a deathmatch is played here also it's a little weird that before this blue TJ Miller's character didn't even phone in a bomb threat I could hit the iron Giants head with this weapon and just kill it right now but decides to go for the hands so that eventually gravity will decide this Holy Hand Grenade how much the bat cost less and it's gonna cost some hey didn't count to three he lost not adventure this guy writes off the correct game being adventurer even though the clear rule for the incorrect game is to be sunk into the ice after playing less than one minute do play an adventure Ferb I think it was nine hours that's what it felt like anyway so did I oh I play extra terrestrials a game created by skill screen back in 1983 or did they play the infamous eet and this is Spielberg's way of acknowledging it and distancing himself from it by spelling it out and making it plural it's pretty easy if you know what you're doing really let me finish it for you all the other keys were solo projects we're only one person at a time was allowed at the challenge but on the last one where you can see what the other person's doing Halliday said should be fine to allow a bunch of people to watch no one's gonna threaten bodily harm to the other I'm actually fine he has this extra life thing but he did practically nothing to earn it he got it from that curity guy earlier in the movie all because he made a bet that Kira was only mentioned once in the entire archive I bet the book did something different that was a lot more satisfying but the books don't matter so onward and upward a massive troll job from Halliday here you actually have to reach out and grab the key or else it doesn't count your avatars can vacuum up unlimited coins but a key is too goddamn hard meanwhile doesn't this climactic scene feel an awful lot like Inception this is the moment that Halliday made moral sign over his shares and gregarious sure this is another test but what happened if possible failed is he out of the game does he still have all three keys what do you have to go through the whole process again even though he knows how to beat the levels I'm just saying this is a totally unnecessary plot twist that doesn't have any bearing on the quest itself this is the button if you push it the whole simulation shuts down that's why it's easily accessible and can be pushed on accident seriously this asshole Halliday can't find the egg meanwhile Sorrento is getting closer to knocking Wade out of the Oasis while dickhead here looks for it seriously if something happens to Wade here isn't gregarious games and breach of contract if they don't give the company to him after doing everything required by the game to win you're not an avatar are you no it's how are they really dead yes then what are you the right person oh something that would be way unsatisfying to here explain so we'll keep it unexplained we brought up a mystery you didn't even need Wade off tomorrow yeah I'm pretty surprised too this mother or hasn't been in hardly any of this movie so this is a slightly different contract from the one Wade refused to sign just a minute ago when he learned he was being tested but it's still a contract where the buyer buys the company for a billion dollars it has nothing to do with giving the company over for winning the contest he's a curator movie reveals Simon Pegg was the curator all but does that mean he was in the simulation every day attending to every single person who ever walked through therefore every waking minute hope that was by appointment only the third thing we did wasn't as popular we closed the Oasis on Tuesdays and Thursdays meaning people who only used it Tuesdays and Thursdays because those were their only days off from work we're fucked why not just put a limit on the amount of days in a week rather than cutting out specific days and don't they go to school using the Oasis oh my god he just ran in you can do anything go anywhere coffee in Paris surfed the Maldives took a little nap on Mount Kilimanjaro loyalty division is reporting profits up 28% finale we're opening five new loyalty centres this month snotty bean meet twice last night it was wonderful even without it from your favorite movie thank you you're gonna wear the shirt of the band you're gonna go see don't be that guy [Music] I heard the music and I pulled myself up the stairs then I saw you dancing so you found my jade key and one more thing must find the Jade monkey before the next full moon [Applause] sweet coins [Music] bawls language is hard I don't feel so good

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 8,078,888

Rating: 4.6819324 out of 5

Keywords: wave jockey job, movie, everything wrong with, cinema sins, ready player one, eww, mistakes, spielberg, cinemasins

Id: mYRv6iSC-U0

Length: 21min 49sec (1309 seconds)

Published: Tue Aug 14 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/1nsertn4m3]

That iron giant sin hurt me more than it should have

[u/DJSimmer305]

That TJ Miller bomb joke had me rolling

[u/[deleted]]

That last outtake tho 👌

[u/ROBOT_B9]

AKA "I Love The 80's: The Motion Picture".

Also, I don't know if you're going to remove sins for the Iron Giant or add them because his appearance completely misses the point of his character (That whole, "I am not a gun" lesson that he learns? Nah, let's make him a badass killing machine! :/ )

[u/BBZak]

I've been looking forward to this one since they announced the film... Oh boy...

[u/tjt5754]

Is this the first time that CinemaWins and CinemaSins have done the same movie in the same week?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOHIelIesZY

[u/bubonis]

Yay, some of my suggested sins were used. :-)

[u/Dr_Midnight]

"Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good!"

Nooooooooooooooooo! 😂

("No." *ding*)

[u/CashWho]

Minor thing but a few of the early sins don't really work. He sins climbing with batman and characters being in places they shouldn't be but that's not really how it works. Those are just skins. So when you're climbing with Batman, you're actually climbing with a friend (Which negates the whole "You would want to be batman". At the moment, your friend is being Batman). Same with the Freddy thing. It's not that Freddy is actually there, it's that some user is playing and he's using the Freddy skin.

Loved the video though. The bomb threat joke was particularly hilarious!