Everything Wrong With Loki Season 1

in case you confused it with new york state as if that's a thing [Music] no one but loki sees this and sure maybe they send this in the cinemasins video but if you expect me to cross-reference marvel tv sins with marvel cinemasins you have grossly overestimated the amount of work i'm willing to do today loki low-key logos go slow flow so low though solo left me loco so i loathe show this condensation is never seen or heard from again in this episode pay off your setups marvel this location title did help me realize the brightness setting on my tv was way too high but even after correction i refuse to believe that this font color on this background passed any sort of contrast ratio test this muzzle is just easily removable is that part of the design it's not like it's really attached anywhere so why didn't it fall off you know like the handcuffs apparently did i am loki roll commercial and i am burdened with glorious purpose fine go ahead get the episode title in there too now you get a double roll commercials and an extra sin for interrupting me you're now moving at 1 16 speed but feeling all that pain in real time mondays also this is great on a couple levels loki getting served in the comical way it goes on for too long and you realize it's not just slow motion but loki's time has actually slowed down but still and more importantly can there be a difference in the speed at which someone feels pain especially blunt force trauma to the head that's what really needs to be explained i love the design of this show truly but this department with all sorts of time tech is using a clunky industrial age robot for intake my cognitive dissonance is rising and you know how much i hate my own cognitive dissonance absolutely not this is fine as guardian leather a robot that may or may not be sentient attempts to use the creepy pinchers before using the much faster and more efficient disintegration ray this particular robot arm please sign to verify this is everything you've ever said this sets up a clever joke but what's the point of it first even if they tried to read it all there's no way anyone could verify what they've said in second why would it matter the tva to have your acknowledgement anyway hiddleston clearly only signs the final sheet here even though he was asked to sign all three make him sign all three like you said is this a scathing satire of bureaucracy or not take a ticket what is this a deli no kids welcome to the time variance authority exposition via queue line video featuring a cute animated mascot otherwise known as jurassic park's position except there it made more sense since it was at an actual amusement park the tva has stepped in to fix your mistake and set time back on its predetermined path i'm gonna have to remove a sin for cleverly introducing us to the very morally questionable act of erasing timelines is there even a word for what tva is doing chronoside murderverse whatever it is magamin a plus for introducing this incredibly devious premise with this cheeky cartoon created a nexus event which left unchecked could branch off into madness you mean like the nexus mentioned in one division could lead to the multiverse of madness marvel you've done it again and by it i mean throw so many easter eggs at me that i'm now numb to what reality even is anymore owen wilson speaking french sir there's something you'll want to see the worst kinds of you better take a look at this cliches are the ones that are self-evident you traveled through time to bring him this file you're handing it to him i think he's well aware that you might consider it something he'd want to see varian l one one thirty aka loki laufen is charged with sequence violation 720.89 how do you plead no explanation of the charges against loki is given at this trial i vehemently disagree with the lack of transparency in the judicial processes employed by the tva good thing this is only fiction huh as owen wilson arrives late to this trial i just have to ask if this place exists outside of time how does it operate within its own time like why would owen never be late to anything could he just come back from ancient france at a time that would get him to the trial in a more punctual manner how are people who travel through time on a daily basis ever late for anything we're not here to talk about the avengers marvel pleading with audiences to love anything after the infinity saga somehow makes it into the episode i thought there was no magic here there isn't most of what we see looks a lot like a massive space station considering all the fantastical stuff we've seen so far in the mcu are we supposed to be awed by this why a scene the idea that your little club decides the fate of trillions of people across all of existence at the behest of three space lizards yes it's funny it's absurd loki would be glorious at tv sins for the record this really does feel like a killing me kind of a room does it i mean it does kind of have a brutalist vibe that i'm not a fan of however it's balanced out by warm tones and some interesting mid-century modern accent pieces not to mention the baseboard lighting if i were murdered in this room it would be completely my fault for misreading the situation can we get some rules on this reset collar thing does it send the person back a certain number of seconds to a predetermined geolocation because over the course of the show it will somehow do both the timekeepers have built quite the circus and i see the clowns are playing their parts to perfection big metaphor guy i love it wilson and hiddleston are so good in this scene and show that i have to take a sin off but mobius's responses to loki are never ending loop of being excellent at tv sins so i'm kind of stuck in a catch-22 here which of course is our way of saying that the show's gonna catch 22 cents here for making me question my ability to do my job sorry them's the rules what is this it's a fancy reverse expositional device we call it the previously on the mcu machine and for the next 30 minutes it's going to do all the plots heavy lifting in increasingly more and more convenient ways did the avengers come together to literally avenge him by defeating you little solace to a dead man sure but actually fury cree corpsed him back to life with project tahiti sorry tay hit i so that he could keep working are you going to mention that oh great timekeeper we won't stand for agents of held erasure around these parts do you enjoy hurting people making them feel small youtube commenter recruitment ads yes this is mischievous but if loki and thor were gonna go through the trouble of putting together this whole scheme just for the thrill of it i feel like loki especially would have requested something more interesting than paper currency i'm not sure what we have here that would appeal to an asgardian but two hundred thousand dollars seems like it wouldn't be worth their time this tva logo is actually kind of badass with its old school feel and the hidden hourglass between the v and the a am i about to take a sin off for excellent graphic design the sacred syn line deems it so apparently but also when i said hidden between the v and the a i immediately thought of taints so the sacred sin line gives and the sacred sin line takes away i guess the times position device is apparently using the same camera movement from the movie why is sheamus mcgarvey the dp of the sacred timeline as well what are you doing my job is it your standard yes right not only is he a great pickpocket but he quickly figured out how to use the time device that for some reason was built without any safety or security features how do you not know what a fish is i live my entire life behind it does this is not an acceptable answer you can be taught about things that you will never experience it's basically the whole reason the kama sutra even exists also casey is a liar are you behind your desk right now casey are you case closed infinity stars oh come on sure it's a funny joke that they're worthless here and have many versions discarded through time but just because they hold no power here doesn't mean they wouldn't be protected from someone getting a hold of them and using them back in the sacred timeline for beings charged with protecting time their evidence processing system is less organized than my desk drawer in elementary school no one in this scene is concerned about the obvious variant standing unaccompanied by any sort of security force in the middle of this office this leads me to believe that either this sequence of events is expected or that every one of these workers is burnout and no longer gives two facts about the sacred timeline hunter b-15 is a dick to office supplies and has absolutely zero concern in regard to possibly killing her co-worker the company culture here is atrocious this episode is all about this version of loki reckoning with the misdeeds of his past and the loss of a life that he will no longer be able to live sure it's well written and performed beautifully but i can't help but feel like the overall goal here is to reshape this loki into the one that died in infinity war this loki has to experience a quickie evolution as if it's his character arc that is somehow sacred convenient fast forward to this exact moment is convenient you know this would be pretty cool if we understood how any of this actually worked but you just keep rocking that pointless remix duplokey the variant we're hunting is you [Music] oklahoma doesn't exist no seriously in 1858 the state of oklahoma didn't officially exist didn't become a state until 1907. thanks for visiting the tva don't hesitate to let us know how we're doing you made me sit through six minutes of credits to hear this one lousy question is how i'm doing you time juggling chrono bastards this decoding sequence is interesting for precisely one second after which i have regretful flashbacks to slot machines in all their mercury so the sin as always is vegas in case you confused it with oshkosh bagash wait maypolling barefoot on this muddy renfair earth do you know how disgusting the ground becomes after being saturated by the tears of larpers i love how this lady is all you guys are dressed right as if their futuristic combat gear is more interesting than having just watched them walk out of the portal some of us need this you know needing renaissance fairs good thing no one is in this tent right now in the middle of the fair it's always nice when people in the past make it easier for the tva and a variant to not screw up the timeline none of these idiots have their weapons activated for battle i mean at the very least the glow sticks act as a mild light source on the other end of the spectrum they can save your life if you're ambushed which they're about to be the trap watch your bats commander c20 then immediately moves off on her own and exposes her back towards the darkness like some sort of rookie [ __ ] also you'd think this trap wouldn't be much of a surprise considering there have been so many attacks on the tva agents oh and also they'd maybe be tipped off by the dimly lit tint with unattended doom fire lapping around as if summoned by satan we wouldn't dare play the music but the sin as always is kids i mean bonnie tyler also i guess the variant is mischievous just like loki but she can also clearly use magic and fin for herself so why turn other people into mindless fighting drones just cast a spell and be done with it i guess what i'm saying is be more like one division with your spell casting really just in general all of these mtu shows should be more like wandavision in all the ways noki presses the time door button and then the run program option on the menu and at no point are coordinates entered i went along with the unexplained logic of this contraption because i assumed that the tva had a special way of pre-programming destinations but how would noki know where the time door leads there's something like 160 letter changes in this opening sequence and that is 156 changes too many are you recording or are you alive and while we're asking the questions is that a stuffed weasel someone gets sprinkles on the line for confirmation because that poor critter will be able to spot a fellow tortured soul from a mile away i'm sure the drabness of the tva office setting is purposeful but that doesn't make it any less depressing to look at it's like someone said what if we could mix the abram's star trek set with a cleveland browns uniform then someone else suggested what about the abrams star trek set mixed with a cleveland browns uniform that baker mayfield threw up all over after a hard night of partying then the third person said then stayed in all in tea meeting adjourned i don't know guys i think i'm pretty sure i've been brainwashed to get overly excited to watching marvel characters don a new outfit this is literally just loki putting on a suit jacket while wearing a tie and dress shirt and i'm screaming at my screen like yeah this is amazing it is not though stop [ __ ] with my gauge on what is badass marvel but which kind of loki remains unknown no the lesser kind to be clear vanity i don't want anybody out there to forget what you are there's like seven people on this mission and loki doesn't exactly blend in how would anyone forget who he is why don't we just travel back to before the attack when the variant first arrives oh oh oh i know this one because then nothing about this show would be interesting to watch and the drive for tension and mystery wouldn't be as easy to reach also mobius is about to give some gobbledygook answer about nexus events destabilizing the time flow and blah blah blah but what it all amounts to is it's much more convenient to come to this point so we don't have to witness the event again so show comes up with some bs rules for time travel that doesn't answer loki's question but words like nexus and time flow were thrown in to make it sound smart got it good they're gonna move on also has the tva never even considered that a variant or anyone in whatever time they travel to could snatch one of these grenades i understand this weaponry provides a major plot point in this episode and probably for the series but why wouldn't they just have a men in black pointy clicky thing or something less intrusive and destructive than a bomb meanwhile this kid is walking around with his disintegration rod all lit up like a dumb ass what if loki saw a snake on the ground jump back and was zapped into oblivion never ever walk around with your vamoosh stick fully erect and activated this is in the training videos if you leave this tent you'll end up like them this red herring's on for some time i approve the missions speaking of which let's talk about the one you just botched did he botch it though they were sent to assess the situation which they did mobius figured out loki was lying and they reset the timeline so there were no variances the tva agent was missing before they got there so that's not really on him and say he did what he was supposed to do the variant likes to stall for time and eventually we'll catch the other one doing the same thing this might be a hard sell to the boss considering that just moments before the mission mobius was adamant that no two are alike so just because one loki stalls for time doesn't mean they all do gonna remember this fan's reaction to every possible easter egg in this show somehow makes its way into this episode i don't care what makes you tick odd coming from a man who just left an office attempting to explain how getting to understand this loki would help him catch that noki adjusting someone else's tie without explicit consent [Music] i don't need your sympathy characters delay quippy reply until the elevator door closes cliche what's this on the next step just once can we have an elevator door open up directly into the middle of a pre-existing conversation or even more realistic to silence happy reading wouldn't you know it the one file on the variant that wasn't pulled out to be reviewed is the one file loki has access to which leads to a break in the case my my no one saw this coming what a twist and i could also set fire to the palace no just stop don't set fire to the palace let's pretend that this video is a new timeline where we haven't already given a send back for these hiddleston and wilson performances i may not be enjoying most of what i'm watching yet but these two are gold if everything and everyone around you is destined for imminent destruction then nothing that i say or do will matter unless of course your action actually prevented everyone from dying or allowed a few people to escape the area before the destruction then it would 100 matter all kinds of time branches would happen it's not a terrible theory but it's also not as foolproof as loki is making it out to be in case you confused it with pompe pennsylvania this entire town has wiped off the face of its planet how is no one noticing these two men in suits talking under this archway come on let's take walk this is not walking in the early 1990s for a brief shining moment there was a beautiful union of form and function which we call the jet ski kawasaki started making the jet ski as early as 1972 and continued to make the stand-up version that iso mobius is going on about until 2011 it was quite a bit more than a brief moment in time three magic lizards time keepers how do these three look like lizards who created you loki this conversation about the similarities in all religious and creational beliefs goes on for all the some time solving the mystery of where the variant is relies on the discovery of a pack of chewing gum sure you can argue all you want about the variant planting it to attract the tva but what if mobius hadn't discovered the chewing gum the only reason he even questioned it was because the inside of the kid's mouth was blue what if he never saw the kid or the kid never even smiled also the detectives deduce where to go in the timelines based on when this gum was in production they literally go to a store because the store sells it but how would they know that any of the other apocalyptic events did not have this gum what if it was in someone's pocket and noki stole it have candy on asgard yeah grapes nuts i wonder you're so bitter grape nut shaming this deployment squad did all of this investigating of what they were getting themselves into but didn't consider that cameras might pick them up when they walked into the store if anyone's anyone you're me and she is a she who they think is a he that can be he's or she's by just touching a knee just take it easy every one of us can look at this man's expression and know that he is thinking you'd better come take a look at this and even though it's not spoken we're still sinning enchantment is a clever trick is that what you're calling brightly lit product placement enchantment damn marketing verbiage is getting real fancy back in my day we just called it manipulation what did you give them the time keepers where they are how does hunter c20 even know where the timekeepers are mobius a top agent hasn't even met the timekeepers i get the tva is arrogant but that still doesn't explain why they would let lower level agents have info they might be tortured into giving away if one of these missions goes awry i just want to point out that in 2050 stores are still selling wired earbuds i miss randy what a lot of american idol fans said when they tuned into season 13 somehow makes its way into this episode why is loki going all fisticuffs with this guy he's got magic use magic [Music] okay sure this looks cool but why would noki go through all the trouble of wiring the devices across a massive store when collecting them in one place behind a locked door would do the exact same thing it's not like she has a ton of time on her hands shh if you listen closely you can hear the sounds of all the marvel nerds clicking pause on their remotes and scrambling to research each of these locations we honor all of you with this sin nice look at how long these portals stay open for everyone to run through i just know the show will be consistent with how long they stay open and never close at the least opportune time just to get this straight nokie wired a ton of devices to bomb the sacred timeline installed red lighting across the store and to be sure the lights didn't flicker she hooked it up to a power source so they all visually punch the point that whatever is happening is real bad yeah it's too bad mobius doesn't have an arm soldier with him that could use a weapon on loki before he crosses through the door wait whatever the [ __ ] this organizational system is this this this oh sure hear me complain about too many letter ships earlier and then add some more to it 188 shifting letters you know what brain freeze is don't you here we go it's when you sip something so cold so it permeates the roof of your mouth and freezes the synapses in your brain so your memories are literally frozen in place this is not literally or even figuratively true brain freeze or a cold stimulus headache has nothing to do with memory and everything to do with the pain receptors being exposed to extreme swings and temperature i understand that folky here is using brain freeze as a metaphor for what she's doing to pour hunter c20 here but if you're going for a metaphor why not use deja vu now why did i come into the kitchen again okay ask how many people are guarding the timekeepers i'm sorry what see if you'd gone with deja vu this might have worked this futuristic grocery store has security cameras that track plot related people through the parking lot amazing total bull but amazing which is more of a sin the sudden inconvenient timing of folky's time door or that she's more interested in a top bun rather than concealing herself with her hood as she has been doing before her reveal last episode oh you're right it's both you do realize that there are other available options on the spectrum between incapacitation through magical means and murder by disintegration just a thought but why not carry the very important weapon with you if you know your powers won't work why is no one picking up the wush away rod i'm all for the bad guy killing the good guys but come on did no one train to use these light up sticks she had a sword the whole time you're in my way only because you walked away from the elevators which was a really odd choice given the situation but now i see you lack vision well technically this whole show lacks vision wait was that even meant to be damon i'm so used to marvel pummeling my little fan person brain with easter eggs that i have no idea if this is supposed to be a reference to the vision or not 10 cents for once again making me question the very fabric of my reality i'm sorry but this is not the even standoff it's framed to be sylvie has a sword while loki has a fist two-fist at most goodbye variant much more on design this device my phone leaves me in a state of low battery panic for at least three anxiety riddle hours before it finally dies and i'm not depending on it for any form of chronometric escapism also shouldn't this device give you plenty of notice before it runs out of juice or better yet prevent you from making an outbound trip to whenever the if it doesn't have enough power to get you back home being stranded some win in a timeline you're supposed to be protecting seems like a guaranteed way to make sure your parents never get together at the enchantment under the sea dance well with a name like that you're just asking for an apocalyptic event of all of the apocalypses isn't that the point wasn't the whole idea of hiding in apocalypses because there wouldn't be any survivors and therefore no chance of her creating any disturbances in the time force or whatever it is is silvie saying that she has apocalypses saved in there that do have survivors that makes none of the sense i suppose now is a good time to point out that these two untrusting foes were trying to kill each other a few moments ago and suddenly our loki is totally fine with foki getting this close and touching his face without any struggle fine what exactly is causing loki's daggers to make this shining sound it's not like he's unsheathing them doesn't he just make them disappear and then reappear i suppose he could be using a minor illusion spell but that seems a bit cantroopy for loki i don't know a truce see a warp i can get on board with but not a shing the plan you interrupted was years in the making years was it i mean how has sylvia been able to measure that and if that tornado in oklahoma was her base of operations how is she able to spend years there without i don't know bumping into herself there's power somewhere on this moon we just need enough of it to travel through interdimensional time and space where the hell are you going to find 1.21 gigawatts at this hour just because i have to work with you doesn't mean i want to hear your voice tv sends writers when i ask them for feedback on my narration so let's talk about the villains play your years in the making plan was to tear the place down create the ultimate power vacuum and then just walk away uh thanks loki you'd be great at tv since but i swear to odin if you interrupt me one more time i'm just checking the coupling making sure it can connect the pain apple deliberately puts its users through every damn day there's a reason their logo is an apple with a bite out of it here's a confusing part of the story where loki and foki go into a tiny house to find a massive power source brute force is no substitute for diplomacy and guile it's been a long time this is what you call diplomacy i guess the asgardian definition strays far more into the manipulative [ __ ] variation hello dear patrice i know how the disguise spell works and sure he may look like patrice on the outside but there's no way to nail the voice unless you have the actor feed and have heard it before this must be the calmest apocalypse to have ever apocalypsed is it too much to ask for a bit of looting or at least an unruly mob also i'm calling shenanigans that anything resembling an orderly line would be maintained here this is the end of the world people don't wait in line like this for disneyland let alone their only possible salvation from the coming apocalypse also also no one seems to give a damn that loki and sylvia are just strolling past cutting to the front of the line okay there's a couple of withering stairs but damn it i want my unruly mob we're doing this one my way no one behind them sees this what is in the water here this must be the most placid group of people in the multiverse did the whole of canada just move to this moon how do i look like someone with a dead plan loki would be sylvia tv sins has the train left all those people behind forgive me if this sounds naive but surely in a global emergency like this the goal is to evacuate as many people as possible there's so much room left in this card alone why is no one bothered by the end of the world are you sure she was your mother uh no she's not actually i was adopted is that a bit of a spoiler for you sorry about that no i knew i was adopted what they told you so is silly from an alternate timeline entirely where she chooses to be a woman and barely remembers her mother or is she from an alternate dimension where everything is different i don't care which turns out to be true but why the secrecy surely i can't be expected to root for either of these mass murderers whatever their origins but she told me that one day i'd be able to do it too because because i could do anything parents who tell their kids this lie is there a lucky bow waiting for you at the end of this crusade movie has time for this or tv show acting as though it has the run time of a movie has time for this so on the subject of love managed to maintain quite a serious long-distance relationship with a postman whilst running across time a post man when does he just install posts for a living oh she means a mailman huh he's silly brits what he just delivers posts all day suppose next you're gonna tell me works at the post must have been would-be princesses or perhaps another prince a bit of both i suspect the same as you the way lucky's sexuality is revealed here with zero fanfare just as if it's another part of his personality is fantastic still a long way to go but this is a start you relax your way and i'll relax mine but why relax at all why not attempt to drain the power source for the train at least once before a nap it is super nice for the apocalypse to leave the train track and power sources completely alone as they traverse towards their destiny i am all for using headbands as weaponry but really only as a backup plan to the sword well we assume the sword works we haven't seen it slay anyone so far also there's no way foki's horned tierra wouldn't snag part of this ridiculously knitted getup let alone any of the pointy weapons used in this fight come to think of it their uniform should be riddled with snags runs in the one wayward string that you can't help but pull in fact unravel should be playing in the background as this knitted bullshirtery wheezes on she punches a helmet he punches a helmet and really what are helmets for anymore being thrown through a train window before your intended stop after drinking too much alcohol or predestination station defenestration post intoxication if you will so does loki's magic just make things invisible i was expecting some sort of extra planar pocket dimension arrangement but the temp pad must still physically exist or it would have been destroyed by the fall this also means loki's daggers are currently albeit invisibly piercing any number of his internal organs and god knows where he's been shoving the invisible tesseract all along oh the mission the mission what your glorious purpose uh does anyone have the commercials for episode one yeah cool roll them did the screen make you feel better loki survives this what about the ark the ark never leaves because it's destroyed whoa nelly let me just grab my tin pad [Music] where is everyone the ark the evacuation vessel something like that would have enough juice to repower the temperature see back at this lady's house silvie doesn't seem to have a clue what the ark is so how does she now suddenly know its history and that it didn't make it off the planet and if she did know about it why didn't she take them there to start with looks like somebody caught a bout of the brain freeze you know i don't think i've ever walked this much in my life i'm strolling on the moon it's gone a blow up soon what a glorious purpose oh my god people where is your urgency you're about to be hit with a planet you want to know how enchantment works i have to make physical contact and then grab hold of their oh how does loki not understand how enchantment works especially this loki from 2012 who literally used this exact power or something extremely similar to control the minds of hawkeye dr selvig and half of just days earlier i have to make physical contact and then grab hold of their mind which is incredibly confusing considering we don't always see folky touch the person herself but we have seen the enchanted person grab hold of her next victim and transfer mental ownership powers so how does this work exactly i've never actually walked for 10 minutes but given the distance i'm pretty confident if the arc is launching in that time our pair of keys is because this is gonna suck do yourself a favor and believe sylvie here because the next 10 minutes is just a whole lot of suck sure it looks like a lot of things are happening but believe me when i say that hiding in the spins power walks running fighting and ducking nothing is actually happening okay mister that's a surefire way to get yourself expelled from the rickon stark school of running away from things you've been warned this is an apocalyptic event report of an airplane hijacking and bomb threat with zero fatalities which doesn't seem all that apocalyptic does it between one minute of previous lease 35 seconds of marvel logoing 20 seconds of loki title carding and 4 minutes and 48 seconds of end credits we're left with only 33 minutes of content some bastard is robbing me of over seven minutes of tom hiddleston and i will not stand for it imagine if every time you went to a restaurant they made you sample all the things you ate the last time you were there not new versions of those things the actual things they went to the waste plant found the remains of your meal and made you re-eat it after you'd already processed it and taken what you needed welcome to previously on segments this mountain is never seen or heard from again in this episode i'm beginning to think marvel uses these establishing shots for atmosphere only dragon swoops towards the palace actual footage of the game of thrones season 8 writer's room somehow makes it into this episode that's it just the toys what about the people she knew the other countless ways she's impacted this universe's timeline i know there's talk about erasing entire realities but why is it leaving the marble behind when the toys disappear of the many things this show yadda yaddas for the sake of our belief staying suspended i'm tiring the most of this resetting nonsense i really wish someone would get this burnout bureaucrat a drink so he could stop mean mugging everyone we see ravona and mobius taiwan on later in the episode he knows what's going on he's probably just angry he was never invited who are these people are they members of the tva and why do they do nothing to stop this escape maybe they're just concerned citizens of the null time zone i'm going to say we have a florist a tax attorney and the owner of a small but delightful deli here so why on their day off are they choosing to watch these dull ass court proceedings instead of making me my pastrami on rye next case next case right here the tva court procedures apparently follow the same rules as marco polo the tvs technology is absurdly easy to use or maybe our technology is absurdly difficult point is these tin pads don't even require an access pin or a fingerprint i get a new tv remote and i have to study it for hours just to change the input select but sure program yourself a functional time door in mere seconds on a device you've never seen before child look there's only one explanation for indoor fog that thick and it's not supernatural there's a reason the timekeepers keep asking for more funyuns is all i'm saying look i know there's protocol she could have information mobius has been at this for a while but doesn't seem to notice how paper-thin their so-called protocols are other than vendetta's pruning and paperwork their adherence to rules is about as strict as a dress code at burning man what hell i'm a simple man give me owen wilson saying wow or how and i'm taking a sin off all i really want is for him to star is a farmer turned stock trader so he can take his cow and sound from plow to down is that too much to ask this shot is stunningly beautiful and all but there are a bunch of meteorites belting the area sure we're in a resignation moment here but survival instinct is strong and there's a tube to hide in right there if i had paid more attention in physics i'd be able to explain to you why two massive celestial objects this close together should be wreaking way more havoc than this calm scene would suggest i'm sure it goes something like magnetic fields blah blah gravity blah blah seismic activity blah blah why is this lake so calm do you think that what makes a loki a loki is the fact that we're destined to lose no according to this show what makes a loki a loki is the british accent loki's can be anything as long as they sound like they're from london despite the inescapability of the time twister displacement collar things sylvie loki and the hunters all go along with this dramatic hallway struggle walk also why are they even in the hallway right now the tim pads can open a glowy door anywhere why not bring them right into the time theater a bad memory prison how quaint lady siff is a dick to loki lady siff is a dick to loki's lady sif is addict to loki because loki was addicted to lady sifu and now loki's likely won't stiff because lady sif was addicted to loki's also honestly any testicular trauma after the second loop is on you loki tuck your low globes away the second sif walks out i've seen rupaul's drag race i know there are ways work your low-key and figure out what caused that spike j-o-i two variants of the same being especially you forming this kind of sick twisted romantic relationship sick twisted aren't we supposed to love ourselves people spend millions of dollars searching for this kind of therapeutical breakthrough kip bent mobius but only in a way that turns and reconnects to itself so it ends up with only one true side and a single boundary curve science jokes how to box your ears damn going from spirited argument to ear punches is in no way a healthy progression mobius really needs to use some of his pto if you could go anywhere anytime where would it be i can go anywhere anytime mobius would be excellent at tv sins see c20 variant all these questions what are you getting at at this point we all suspect ravona is hiding something but that doesn't make it any less absurd to be irritated when someone whose job it is to investigate things has questions you've been spending too much time with loki's yeah i definitely have been spending too much time with low keys tvson staff meetings i'm glad we're back at good old rockstar because i've got something to say this is a terrible name for a store sure with it being low she's hideout it's a fun play on women having two x chromosomes and the little logo looks like two people but i'm just saying the second you throw another consecutive x in your store name and only sell regular toys flashlights or plugs you're gonna have some very disappointed walk-ins i'm willing to accept a lot about this little device okay that's not true i've pretty much sinned every aspect of it by this point but if you thought i was gonna stand by and let you participate in blatant zoom and enhancing on my watch well you can just plan a kiss on my sacred timeline i've heard it once i've had a thousand times i know right so why aren't you exploring walk around look for flaws you're a loki for odin's sake so you've been misted loki i know would have solved this room and beyond a riven by now so i just have to trust the word two loki's how about the word of a friend why does this resonate with mobius he may believe that loki is not entirely lying but i feel like the show has spent a lot of time establishing so much distrust between these two characters that a friendship at this stage is very unlikely i mean i could see this blossoming into a friendship like after solving a few cases together mobius eventually invites him over to have dinner with the family and mobius realizes that loki might be crazy but he means well and then they go and cover a drug smuggling ring operated by a former cia paramilitary unit who then kidnaps moebius's daughter forcing the two of them to go on a rescue mission which gets foiled and they're taken to the baddies hideout and tortured but they escaped to have to return to mobius's house because the baddies are going after his family now but they get there just in time and the whole thing ends dramatically when loki fights the main baddie in the rain now that's a relationship i would believe wait are helmets optional now or is this guy just an anti-helmeter and people are so tired of his bull they've lost the will to argue about it anymore that's what i'm like to do just riding around on my jet ski prune him holy sh i mean you know marvel can bring anyone back and i know marvel can bring anyone back but loki doesn't know that this moment is surprising shocking and hiddleston sells it so well i'm feeling my own feelings but also jet skis also also ravona doesn't prune loki here because we all know you can't prune a loki without filling out the proper forms and completing the prerequisite boss battle tom hiddleston looking good in a shirt and tie cliche i've lost track of the number of times i've been killed so go ahead do your worst locus only actually died once in the mcu and he fake died twice hardly enough times to lose count and since the one real time and one of the fake times it wasn't even this particular loki it'd be a little weird if he couldn't count to one [Music] sure why not why wouldn't someone just be able to approach unhindered not only hijack the chrono collars but unlock them both with one push of a button they use text making i got a deuce tex machina i guess these two guards were apparently trained to not ever under any circumstance attack the assailant at the same time then who created the tva the disney imagineers duh oh please just because the camera didn't hear or see ravona doesn't mean neither of the two people in the room would have heard her get up and approach do you know how hard it is to sneak up on two people in an echoey room especially two loki's marvel didn't think we could mourn another loki death for more than two minutes they were probably right but whether it's their fault or ours it's still a sin also the possibility of this loki gator being the leader of this group tempted me to remove all the sins from the episode and then promptly reapply them because i feel toyed with but instead i'll just give the standard single sin for taking full four episodes to go full loki-verse i really love how weird marvel went with her fantastic forecasting i wonder who the alligator's playing choosing to open your show with a nausea inducing shot do you want me to paint the screen with my bowl of lucky charms i just scarfed down marvel because this is how you get ants i mean lucky charms vomit lacarms mitt also there's a great amount of transitory effort put into this opening sequence and it makes you feel like something important is about to happen but it's just that cleverly repackaged previously on that points a glaring arrow at the insane convenience of loki's introduction in the void in its variant loki inhabitants what is this place where are who i am is it the void that's goliath and we're his lunch come on richard e grand exposition is the best exposition it's clear to the point and concise but every time i see richard e grant i'm reminded that not enough people love hudson hawk so also i wonder how anyone knows the monster's name is eliath it's not like it stops for a chat to introduce itself before annihilating time junk this is it isn't it this is where you dragged me after you stole my life yes but can we back up a smidge and discuss how they arrived at this place maybe we could have forgotten that last week's episode ended with sylvian rinslayer down in the timekeeper's lair but you just reminded us of it in the previously awning a moment ago so sylvie's hair should be wet and you both should be on that set and not this set i can help you if you trust me and despite all reasons sylvia offers up a tim pad as a symbol of her trust even though rinslayer never asked for it and certainly hasn't done anything to earn it but we gotta get the show going folks only one more episode left i'd like to suggest we take a quick breather so i can ask several thousand questions so i'm gonna keep moving so we don't die meaning these new loki's were on their daily keep moving stroll through the massive not nyc earlier and just happened upon our loki tv air dicks sending people out there into the whatever verse with no tread on their shoes why do you wear the horns kid loki is not wearing horns he's wearing what could be best described as feathers classic loki is wearing horns but arloki isn't speaking to him i would say i'm confused but that would infer i care at all about this storyline and or this show and i do not i killed full kids oh look it's yellowjacket helmet and weathertop what does it all mean also i'd like to take a moment of silence for all the marvel fans who've had to watch this episode 90 times in order to find and research all the easter eggs in this one episode it's like the writers realize that they could run through the comic book buffet and scoop a little bit of everything onto their tray some of it's obvious like throgg here some things need a more keen eye i honor you all with this silence in in the time that none of us will be able to retrieve after going down all the easter egg timelines so why did you want to return to the tda so badly anyway better question how is this underground bowling bunker getting power supply from anywhere we know where you hide actual footage of me attempting to have bathroom alone time somehow makes its way into the episode well except with a smartphone and a plunger so everything she's holding is taken to the void but not the weapon that saps her how does that work holy sh if you drink an alcoholic beverage you risk pregnancy i mean obviously the writers drink too much roxy wine before writing the government warning and meant to say that drinking alcohol while pregnant causes issues or maybe in the pruned roxy versus drinking alcohol does cause pregnancy is this an easter egg a clue damn it mcu tell me your story loki nobody wants to hear about that he's not wrong although i may be willing to listen to a story if it includes the part about how his costume design evolved to this after kermit in a dueser merged design houses polybius perverts play by producing psychoactive permutations purposely placed by pandering policy poo faces who push psychological programs without punishment allegedly have any of you met a woman variant of us sounds terrifying that's racist i'm gonna kill elias and i could use all the help i can get character gives a rousing speech and it seems like everyone listening is invested but after it's over they all burst out in laughter cliche loki was told early on that there've been multiple variant loki's and no two are alike so why are there others that look like tom hiddleston while all the loki's have different strengths as far as the powers are concerned they all appear to act about the same so what else could no two alike mean other than appearance opting to break glass rather than climb through the hole immediately above your head having to waste my time looking up whether or not skinny's pizza was an easter egg and even if it was it's most likely a car's reference since lightning mcqueen is driving the car so this thing can be for wasting time on pointless research or having to watch a car's reference but i'm giving two because i'm annoyed oh look a working car driven by mobius with enough gas and off-road abilities to easily drive here right on time to save sylvie mad moby is fury road how exactly can one loki name another loki despite them being essentially the same being how do you bite the hand off of a god so illusion kadoki throws illusion aligoty on numa boki and what i find most interesting is that aluja aligoki seems to tackle maboki with ferocity and substance so is the alligator an illusion is it real it seems very real which is exciting because whatever kermoki does with his power should literally hold up and not crumble approaching goliath is a death sentence we'll get you to it but that's as far as we go how is that helpful loki can find goliath just as easily as these other two can this show is making a harder route for a character played by richard e [ __ ] grant and i watched a little vampire because of him the little vampire i guess when you think the ends justify the means there's not much you won't do politics what does loki need a blanket for he was birthed by frost giants one thing he should never get is cold tell you what you could conjure me a new outfit you have no idea how uncomfortable something like this is so don't wear it i don't even know what we're doing great that makes two of us skip conjuring a communal blanket for someone without explicit consent and i think if i can get close enough to it i can enchant it and it's gonna take me to whoever's behind all of this this works go kermoking go do some badass mustard diaper we are here for it with that being said if he has this kind of juice in him why would he wait until now to use it this would have been super helpful back at the game of thrones i think we're stronger than we realized oh how i love marvel in there blah blah blah approach to answering important questions i don't know how you do because we're the same much of the premise of this show has been no two loki's are alike and now it's betting that all loki's have the ability to do anything that their variant persons can do problem is though that even the loki's themselves seem to forget their existing powers for example our loki is already enchanted and kermoki should walk through a portal and escape eliath as a dog returns to its vomit so a fool repeats his scenes in a previously on segment or something it's basically in the bible and that thing's full of sins no you wouldn't have heard of me dance off bro it's a friend from work these opening self blogos accompanied by the marvel quote all-stars or like that guy from work that can't quit talking about is weak and dubai we get it shane you did some cool stuff now can you please get back to work those crew neck tees aren't going to fold themselves throwing in the moon landing and greta thunder at the end of 30 full seconds of marvel miasma to make your opening feel more important than it actually is i know disney feels like they own everything but it seems a little ballsy to put a post-apocalyptic hogwarts in your tv show without even getting permission from warner brothers man i hope we get to find out all the cool things about this castle like what kind of stone it's made of with those awesome cracks or maybe it was a monster that did them my money's on the kraken but i'm sure the show will let us know soon enough there's no way this episode will just be scenes of people having conversations the entire time good thing that would never happen everybody okay yeah just need a moment no you take your moments in episodes three or four at the latest by the time you're at the final episode you don't take moments you do the thing that the show's been building up to for the past five episodes damn it loki i'm tired of taking moments i'm really [ __ ] sick and tired of it phew sorry about that i'm clearly the one wearing the horns today i was pruned before you even existed were you though i thought pruning was when they officially zapped you with the rainbow baton of existential nothingness which literally just happened before that weren't you just kidnapped also how do you know who existed first just because you got yoinked into the tva first doesn't mean they didn't pull you from a time that postdated this loki your words matter sylvie i have been waiting for this moment my entire life i just need a second to get my head straight okay castle door is addicted people needing a second once at a wedding reception i requested a van halen song but the tj almost put a chris crosstrack on instead anyhow i hate jump scares he's impressed who's impressed hey who remains either playing the pronoun game when it's not needed or self nicknaming via the pronoun game i'm actually so annoyed right now i'm not gonna pick i'm just gonna give two sins and sort it out later you can kill thanos hiddleston's reaction here is great but would he really have that much emotion just from seeing a highlight reel earlier of what thanos did in a reality he was never even really part of you want the infinity gauntlet yours i get that if you're gonna keep an antagonist around in this kind of capacity humanizing him is just part of the process look what star trek eventually did to the borg that doesn't mean i have to like it bokey would take this deal or at least the interesting version of loki would take this deal the not deal taking loki is a loki of lies i mean all loki's are loki's of lies but this one is a loki of different lies two loki's in the same place someone hasn't studied their time cop shooting video in portrait mode checking for dust without a white glove on most of dust is human skin loki and now you're basically wearing someone else's skin on your skin you creep oh this is wild what that the villain eats and apple thing is so mainstream now that marvel's just whipping it out front and center instead of doing it on the sly and hiding their shame agree come on marvel don't you realize how naked your cliche is here only there were a metaphor for the moment you wake up become aware of your sin and feel ashamed well either way come on let's talk from my office spending any amount of time in a marvel tv show talking in an office two sugars thinking the two sugars can fix the nastiness that is tea or coffee or whatever drink you've convinced yourself is actually good even though it's so bitter it's primarily responsible for keeping the sweetener industry in business oh well you know one man's void is another man's piece of cake title of my sex tape why is the coat drive poster in rinslayer's office wouldn't that be better served out in the hallway or even on the outside school walls so more people were aware of it happening there will be kids without coats this winter because school doesn't know how to advertise correctly calling your school the ohio state university you're not special but guys no matter how many articles you insert before your title everything that's uh is going to happen there's only one way this can go does it involve disney making anus loads of money i bet it involves disney making anus loads of money no you can't get to the end until you've been changed by the journey this stuff it needs to happen to get us all in the right mindset to finish the quest jonathan majors is not my dm in this scene free will free will i give all the sins back right now if the fresh prince suddenly leapt over rinslayer from behind and she trailed her fingers on his skin as he passed above her and then swam to freedom beyond's a friendship and you threw it all away on a couple of loki's as interesting a character as she's become i'm kind of starting to wish this show was called rinse layer instead of loki but it is not and just who are you i've been dubbed many names by many people a ruler a conqueror we'll get back to your regularly scheduled sinning here in a bit but damn i gotta take some sins off the fact that marvel reveals a major villain sure to have a huge impact on the mcu in one of their tv shows to sign the game's completely changed take some real shonen ads to put this much faith in your plan and i've got to give some respect also jonathan majors is absolutely pulverizing this role he's so brilliant compelling and charismatic that i forgot my job here is to sin things not fan slobber all over them i'm sorry won't let it happen again eons ago before the tva exposition via some sort of mercury theater is still exposition i bet you didn't even get permission from orson welles he discovered that there were universes stacked on top of the zone those look more like solar systems than universes but whatever king the expositioner you do you i love your shoes i love your hair oh man nice nose thanks man oh it happened again didn't it however not every version of me was so so pure of heart and the director said remember that obvious apple metaphor from earlier let's pat it home even more and have him take another bite right in the middle of talking about the [ __ ] versions of himself because [ __ ] subtlety am i right [Music] god the way the music is in harmony with his vocal performance and the general amazingness of this natalie holt soundtrack is blowing my mind nope not again um pretentiously singing it almond when we all know it's amen saved it once i isolated our timeline all i have to do is manage the flow of time and prevent any further branches oh is that all tva it works or you're a liar there are so many more possibilities than that let's get some gray in there marvel not every scenario is black or white marvel or dc laverne or shirley also side note it's totally shirley oh villains here one's been a bit neutered but sure oh now you use magic i haven't been this annoyed with mythical creatures relying on modern weaponry since underworld hot leather pants glad to see the mtu isn't faltering on their stabby stabby pew pew finale resolutions there's something to be said about being consistently predictable with the final battles stop stop she already did somehow in the midst of a ferocious kill swing despite you not saying this till after you appeared in the direct line of that kill shot that somehow did not kill you is i don't wanna hurt you i don't wanna close my eyes i don't wanna fall asleep cause i miss you baby and i don't wanna miss a thing sorry i i black out and sing aerosmith when i get bored by what's going on in front of me there's a reason people have stopped inviting me to weddings and funerals it's masturbation but i'm not you wait you mean not you you or like not you at all like not a loki or not this loki if you think making me wait a year to find out the answer to this isn't gonna get you a sin you're right because you're getting five i'm turning back now hey remember these important characters that were developed so nicely through the last five episodes and then given to doing the finale yeah me either i should probably start a sidekick's anonymous support group with taurus from falcon and sharon and todd davis from juan division with an emphasis on the anonymous for all time always roll king marshalls what are you talking about who are you what's your name nice twist you got there be a shame if someone came along and questioned the logic of it but why would sylvia have programmed him to go to an alternate timeline or universe why would that timeline or universe be in the exact same time and with the same people as he left it and why would those people not know who he is when the timelines didn't diverge till after he left how would there even be a tva in a different timeline or universe i'm sure you'll explain it to me in the comments and marvel will pretend to answer some of these questions but i'm guessing it comes down mostly to it's complicated okay and that ain't enough breaking the fourth dimensional wall we are not identical twins oh oh no no this is fine asgardian leather leather of course why not the best a hundred million years ago there were mosquitoes just like today and just like today they fit on the blood of animals [Music] welcome to alpha the city of a thousand planets why does someone with so much range just want to rule it's really not that complicated i got red in my ledger i'd like to wipe it out what exactly is it that you want i'll tell you one thing that really drives me nuts is people who think that jethro tull is just a person in the band give me the tesseract or i'll gut you like a fish casey what's a fish guys want corn dogs that's a temporal anomaly corn dogs didn't come into existence till the first half of the 20th century we have a saying in asgard only nixon could go to china okay look you don't trust me you can trust one thing i want to kill everyone satan is good satan is our pal my name is maximus desmos meridius commander of the armies of the north general of the felix legions loyal servant to the true emperor marcus aurelius you remind me of them go down the hall pull the lever [Music] i remember sorry half an hour ago i was a white head scotsman oh i know you did send me back to the future but i'm back i'm back from the future not so fast you're in my way you are my way i'll do you want better why is gamora i'm the doctor by the way what's your name rose nice to meet you rose run for your life you're not traveled were you sent here by the devil no good sir i'm on the level brute force is no substitute for diplomacy and guile diplomatic community i'm thinking you want him independence and i'm thinking you weren't burdened with an overabundance of schooling the universe wants to break free so it manifests chaos i'm an agent of chaos we get hit all the time by rocks and meteors some of them the size of cars some no bigger than your hand you had rings around them you're amazing why are you so dominant your father would have been proud of you jen timekeepers are watching mobius always watching i'm watching you wazowski always watching fine you want the truth you can't handle the truth you can be whoever whatever you want to be even someone good i like being bad and then going home and being good when a shark tank so for those reasons i'm out you said it's a living thing you said it's a shark i find him for three but i'll catch him and kill him for 10. well life's a beach and then you drive hang on here we go you'll never find them not before she does and why is that you only want it she needs it that doesn't make sense and what have we always wanted the whole place organized by style cross reference by size and reverse indexed by fabric she'll be able to find anything in three seconds flat it was some of my best work pay no attention to that man behind the curtain and just who are you i am king do not be frightened we mean you no harm you you speak english i am actually speaking right by an astonishing coincidence both of our languages are exactly the same you came to kill the devil right we beat the devil with our rock i've lived a million lifetimes a million dollars isn't cool you know what's cool a billion dollars [Music] what is this is this a kissing book

Channel: TVSins

Views: 66,938

Rating: 4.8701081 out of 5

Keywords: tv, television, tele, tvsins, tv sins, quickest beef owl, eww, everything wrong with, cinemasins tvsins, parody, commentary, reaction, recap, bloopers, tv show sins, loki season 1, loki season 1 review, loki season 1 recap, loki review, loki reaction, best loki season 1 moments, loki season 1 moments, unanswered questions from loki season 1, loki season 1 reaction, loki season 1 explained, everything wrong with loki season 1, season 1 loki, tv sins loki season 1, tv sins loki

Id: 1Pio5eiS3n0

Length: 58min 36sec (3516 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 11 2021