Everything Wrong With Lucifer - "Pilot"

there was reading if lucifer can just choose to take a vacation from hell is it truly an eternal condemnation i'm very conflicted about sinning this show largely because i feel like an abundance of sins is exactly what the devil would want so in the interests of balance if all the lucifer fans out there could be extra outraged in the comments you know to compensate it would be greatly appreciated license and registration coming right up lucifer likes to be flashy and feels like he's above the law because i guess technically he is and i get all that but wouldn't it be easier in this scenario to just produce the license and registration and get on with this night we're going to see 372 incidents of lucifer being a pompous ass before this episode is over so a little less flash here would have been fine and no need to check the math because they don't call me the abacus of youtube narrators for nothing also bribing an officer of the law you've written a little sometimes don't you sometimes lucifer is a very attractive man with a sexy accent and piercing eyes but i very much doubt that that would be enough yes lucifer i have dark desires sometimes i think about not returning my shopping cart once i'm done with it damn it lucifer you handsome bastard once in for revealing my deepest darkest desire in the world people like to tell me things ask me something about his face lucifer has no qualms about telling others he's immortal and all the other things he's capable of doing for the rest of the episode he goes by his real [ __ ] name even so why is he being so coy with this random cop thank you patrick you can go i have it on good authority that if she can still hold a conversation while he's doing that he's probably not doing it right but i didn't leave hell to be a bartender oh come on now that's not fair you're far more than just a bartender you're an expositional bartender much better you're the lord of hell for crying out loud does hell even need a lord or somebody in charge okay maybe you need someone in charge of sorting the incoming souls into the different levels of hell but after that isn't it just an eternity of torture how much lording does it take to put william shatner's the transformed man on repeat for example if time is slowed down then from the perspective of these partiers lucifer and a menin deal should be moving extremely fast so why aren't they reacting to the sudden speedsters they're supposed to also be invisible what's the point of slowing time down show off what exactly do you think happens when the devil leaves hell i'm guessing countless parties and everyone stays up past their bedtime does anything else happen when the parents leave town i'll be honest all my life knowledge comes via movies from the 1980s you know you will not be merciful for much longer you know some people's version of hell is experiencing round after round of the pronoun game just saying if all these women outside were snapping pictures and acting like crazed hyenas around delilah then how is she able to sit at this bar without being bothered by at least a few fans i'm definitely curious about the identity of the shooter and who hired him but i'm more curious about where all the cars that were clearly in front of the shooter's vehicle in the previous shot went hey man i'm pretty sure a i mean i'm only the murderer defense doesn't go over great with a jury but you do you hired assassin i wouldn't pick at it too hard not after palmetto street oh yeah remember that thing at palmetto street with the guy and that other thing he did that terrible thing to that other guy yeah that was wild and super relevant also i am so relieved to see another cop story that has an underdog detective trying to prove their worth after a vague case that went wrong who says fresh ideas are better me i do lucifer morningstar lucifer is latin for morningstar this means the same god that created the world in its surrounding universe in all of its complex splendor and unlimited magnificence also called his son lucifer lucifer ran out of imagination after unicorns did we so you had a conversation with a dead guy why would decker assume that the man died before lucifer was able to speak to him unless of course she wanted to give him a chance to be vague about his abilities also one thing i find very curious is that no one ever brings up the driver of the vehicle eddie was in the back of the vehicle maybe the driver died but that's never brought up either it just seems like looking into the driver might give them clues as well but what do i know i'm not a detective but i'm not really sure these people are either you humans you love your money don't you that's humanist wait no that's something else entirely how does she end up dying in a hailstorm of bullets and you get away without a scratch i think that's interesting don't you the benefits of immortality if lucifer has no issues talking about his immortality and referring to people as you humans why is he bothering to go through with the pretense of owning a bar and looking human himself excuse me yeah i have a problem wedding crashers yeah good luck with that padre oh while you're at it say hey from me it's been a while so does the preacher actually know he's lucifer because that brings up questions and can be a really interesting avenue for this episode to explore but instead let's just have this unfunny and generic name calling session with lucifer and jimmy then we can continue with this uninteresting and generic police procedural good afternoon sir english butler cliche i have no contacts for him right this way sir two vial would be wise to invest in some better security measures if this is all it takes to get through the front [ __ ] door lucifer morning stuff let's get hip nights forgive me if i don't trust your judgment on what constitutes a good hip-hop name mr tuvile what you don't like hip-hop no i must certainly do not disliking hip-hop two-vial would be too excellent at tv since ah yes nothing says hip-hop and guns quite like this green animal-shaped chair stool thing that looks like it came from ikea i had her once cause i found out she was cheating on me oh well in that case i was forgiven i'm glad we sorted out this dreadful misunderstanding i ran the dead guy's cell phone tuval was the last person he called oh man and what i find highly interesting is how you made the connection on your own is it honestly surprising that lucifer would be aware of delilah's ex-boyfriends and make that his first point of call especially considering she's a celebrity the real question detective is why did you need to run the dead guy's phone to make this very basic deductive leap hot tub high school that's where i know you're from let's just stick to my question shall we the one with the famous nude sink i sincerely hope the nude scene in question from hot tub high school focuses on the teachers and not the students or else i expect lucifer to personally escort all of these people to a very special level of hell she was like the new phoebe cates thanks i appreciate that that was quite a nude scene i have far too many bullets in this thing for you to still be talking this show has plenty of problems but tom ellis and lauren german's repartee isn't one of them they have magnificent chemistry right off the bat and i could be easily led down a path of watching them solve mysteries every week i've just threatened his life he's not our guy i would have said trust me you did what yes lucifer just admitted to threatening another person's life and that should be dealt with but she's going to completely ignore two vials drug purchasing admission and whether or not anyone here has a license for the copious amounts of guns currently being collected by the most ineffectual butler since winston in the tomb raider 2 video game i got it i got it the name the whole lucifer thing you're really just now getting this connection decker you are a detective right i know something you don't know really what's that won't say unless you take me with you on this this works my mother's police officer she could arrest you i think i might know your mother well isn't that a devil of a convenience you could say the devil is in the details okay i'll stop but i was having such a devil of a good time please don't unsubscribe did you know there's a special section of hell reserved for bullies so have fun bullies are the worst but there's a chance that this kid isn't all evil maybe we shouldn't be skipping juvi and jumping straight to eternity of damnation quite yet perhaps you should refrain from arguing in front of the child it's unbecoming i don't know whether to laugh or to shoot you threatening to shoot a man you just met in front of your [ __ ] child especially after said man has just made a damn valid point she likes you of course she does what's not to like vanity so never understood the human desire to procreate oh i don't know shall we start with avoiding extinction are you at all aware of how dickish you sound a question my friends and family ask when i explain what i do for a living somehow makes its way into this episode i guess i can understand why decker brought lucifer along to this point but i don't understand why she would bring him in with her when she questions the psychiatrist if anything comes of this lucifer's involvement could hamper the investigation and possibly even derail it there have to be some legalities involved if she's choosing to go down this path actually it's interesting because you don't look at me that way episode has time for this delilah was having a quindestin affair with a wealthy married man so if you just tell us his name we will be on our way i'm sorry i can't do that now doctor patient confidentiality extends beyond the grave but it can be preached with a court order if a judge deems it in the public interest this is something that decker would know so why would she waste your time coming here without said court order other than to provide lucifer with the opportunity to show off his satanically sanguine seductive solution of course i do yoga hot yoga rachel hayes is a treasure and we do not deserve her really tried to keep that one in title of my sex tape hey hey sir so this guy just stopped after the first hey sir why is everyone so bad at their jobs in this show i'm the president of the united states of america no need to be embarrassed hell if arnold can do it right evidently this show takes place in an alternate reality where arnold schwarzenegger was elected president knowing this episode aired in 2016 that actually sounds less ridiculous than what we ended up with my bodyguard what a cliche actually my bodyguard is a pretty original movie and a very charming and entertaining one as well now this show on the other hand post-mortem pre-shadowing maybe delilah gave him one too like kind of a go-to gift i well that would imply she was actually sleeping with that maggot or that she paid for drugs with a watch or they had become friends who gave each other christmas gifts or he was never at any of their meetups on time and she got sick of always waiting on him people do give gifts without sex being involved god what am i doing here wrong deity but yes that is the eternal question god these god quips from lucifer every time the word god is mentioned are god-awful no one wants to work with me well i'm available available but not a cop shows like this always find a way to shoehorn the main character into some sort of consultant role but how is decker going to justify putting the owner of a nightclub in self-proclaimed lord of the underworld on the precinct's payroll the soundtrack album for the movie time will tell has reached number 15 on the billboard charts in the name of satan's sainted slippers i swear this perfectly timed news report of convenience has contributed more to the resolution of this murder inquiry than both of these two chuckles combined also what the [ __ ] is up with this bar chart the scale here shows the positions from 70 to 1 in increments of 10. so why isn't the 51 bar somewhere between 60 and 50 in the 66 bar between 60 and 70. why would anyone even need to do this manually excel will line that up for you in a second damn it if there's one thing that i will not abide by it's a sloppy attitude towards accurate data presentation the watch delilah gave you now that's just sick great bit of deductive reasoning team but if lucifer had thought to use the jedi mind tricks back at jimmy's wedding he could have gotten jimmy to admit this and saved us a whole lot of time and this show a ton of sins also jimmy really thought that the best form of payment for an assassination was the watch that was gifted to him by the very person he is paying to have assassinated yes i know jimmy probably didn't expect the shooter to be wiped out by a bus and be immediately found at the murder scene with said incriminating timepiece but it's still a needlessly risky move why not pawn the watch and pay him in cash i'm sure he's going the pain's coming no no it's not actually and you know why because i'm here so are all the current and future denizens of hell currently living it up and having a great time just because lucifer is left does that mean he was personally seeing to all the torturing good lord man learn to delegate this barrage of bullets barely seems to have an impact on lucifer so why did the ones from the initial shooting appear to knock him unconscious how long have i been out three years what amnesia jokes lucifer there is a balance here that we must maintain then in the name of your father do something about it all you've done so far is politely ask if he wouldn't terribly mind returning to hell at his earliest convenience rather than flexing his wings of doom does amenity will have any ability to stop our beguiling british beelzebub at all i'm worried the humans are rubbing off on you if the therapist from earlier is anything to go by i'm fairly confident the rubbing is a two-way deal we can have as much naked cuddle time as you desire but you're gonna have to listen to me too i'm always happy to see therapy promoted in popular culture but something tells me this isn't a particularly realistic or healthy representation of the profession and honestly that deserves a hell of a lot of sins you're going to burn in a very special level of hell you want to shag me you want to shag me no no no you want to shag me no no no no you want to shag me all right hold on a tick that's not right i'm going to warn you against disrespecting our father lucifer let me give you a little inside information about god i assumed as you're taking on the underworld this symbol is a persona to protect those you care about from reprisals are you thinking about rachel actually uh i think that myself right i can get out of this you know magic no i can't read people's minds not jedi i find your lack of faith disturbing

Channel: TVSins

Views: 57,650

Rating: 4.8757257 out of 5

Keywords: tv, television, tele, tvsins, tv sins, quickest beef owl, eww, everything wrong with, cinemasins tvsins, parody, commentary, reaction, recap, bloopers, tv show sins, lucifer outtakes, lucifer reaction, luficer 1x1, lucifer season 1 reactions, lucifer pilot reaction, lucifer pilot, cinemasins luficer, lucifer, lucifer reaction season 1, reacts, lucifer morningstar, lucifer reaction 1x1

Id: ePLZ7Eyp5U8

Length: 13min 33sec (813 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 13 2021